Possibly Dreamworks Studios most iconic animated
film series, as well as the source of some of the most terrifying memes in internet history… Shrek is without a doubt, the best anti-fairytale
film maybe ever (sorry Hoodwinked). With four main films and a spinoff, Shrek
has practically built itself a Shrek Cinematic Universe. Hilarious, crass, and subversive, Shrek is
filled with bizarre takes on classic fairytale staples. But even in our swampified tale where our
main character makes a mud jacuzzi out of his farts, some characters are undeniably
good, and others are pure evil. So who takes the cake (mud pie? Fish-eye ta-ta) for good, and who is destined
to burn in the dungeons of the dragon’s keep as most evil? Stick around to find out. I’m Kyle from WickedBinge, and this is Shrek:
Good to Evil. Before we get started: let’s get this out
of the way. Across all four main Shrek movies, there is
a huge cast of heroes and villains. To keep this focused on our fan favorites,
we’ll stick mainly to Shrek and Shrek 2, or as Donkey calls it, Donkey Reloaded. Some folks from 3 or 4 may pop in, but don’t
go complainin’ when your favorite Dronkey doesn’t make the cut. Or do -- in the comments. Starting out with the most good… We have: Queen Lillian. Mother of Fiona. You know the bar is set pretty low when the
“best” character is the woman who locked her daughter in a dragon guarded tower, but
in all fairness, she was doing what she hoped would break her daughter’s curse -- set
her up to be rescued by a prince. No stranger to curses on her family -- her
Husband Harold was a frog, and she sticks by his side even after he transforms — Lillian
wants what is best for her family. She’s a peacemaker, trying to bridge the
divide between her husband, daughter, and son-in-law Shrek...an ogre. Turns out, her desire to save her family can
manifest itself in some seriously strong head butting too — great in a pinch. Truly, you have a kindhearted, open minded
Queen who always puts family first. Close on her heels is her nephew, Heir to
the throne of Far, Far, Away; Arthur is a kindhearted, if weak teenager, who is (shockingly)
mentored by Shrek in order to become a king. A bit spineless at the outset, he eventually
discovers inner strength, and is able to use the lessons learned from Shrek and Merlin,
to convince the bad guy followers of Charming to abandon their fight. A bit of a bland character in a bit of a bland
title in the series, Arthur Pendragon nevertheless lands high on our good list. Coming in third: Mongo — the gigantic gingerbread
man. A living, delicious cookie-machine of war
built by Gingy and the muffin man, Mongo was built to lay siege to a castle. It may be crazy to put a monstrous machine
of war so high on our list, but he didn’t choose to go to war, he was forced into it. He was baked that way. His entire life was a selfless all out assault
on guards he didn’t know, to save the marriage of Shrek and Fiona (people he didn’t know)
to save the future of a kingdom he had no knowledge of. He gave his life to save his creators, and
his last words were “be good.” That’s one sweet cookie. Up next, we have Donkey! The overly talkative, waffle making, dragon
loving comic relief to Shrek’s sour demeanor, Donkey is the sidekick who never quits. He’s there when Shrek has to take on a legion
of soldiers in the wrestling ring, he’s there to woo the fearsome dragon who wants
to kill Shrek, he’s there to check Shrek’s moping mentality and help him save the woman
he loves — he’s there all. the. time. He can’t leave Shrek alone for a moment. His same good quality — always there to
help, becomes his number one bad quality — never leaving Shrek alone. He’s an annoyer. He sings, he hums, he blabs, he cries, he
pops his lips for hours in a cramped onion-carriage ride. He has no off switch. Still, his loyalty, sense of caring, and ability
to let insults from friends roll off his little donkey shoulders makes him a good guy, and
an amazing friend. Really? Really, really. Finally, we get to Shrek: the hero of the
series. I know fifth feels low for the main character,
but this is Shrek, the topsy-turvy fairytale... so weird morality is par the course. Shrek is an ogre who at the outset of the
series, loves to live alone and unbothered in his swamp. He’s the classic bachelor. Gross and unencumbered. When fairytale creatures show up uninvited
on his land, he goes on a quest to return them to their proper homes, in order to only
get some peace and quiet for himself. He literally rescues a princess from a dragon,
just to be left alone. You gotta really think about that: He rescues
the princess… Just to be left alone. However, as the story unfolds, it becomes
clear he wants to be alone because everyone judges Shrek before they get to know him (his
dad tried to eat him) — something Donkey shows him isn’t always true. With the help of a newfound friend, Shrek
is able to overcome his tendency to wall himself off, and open himself up to love. In the sequels, Shrek continues to grow, keeping
his love of Fiona, and friendship with donkey, as his guiding lights. He’s even willing to change himself into
a non-ogre for Fiona’s love, something she rejects, finally getting him to understand
you can be gross and good all at once. Shrek may have a pretty unappealing personality
at first, but a lot of it is because of how society ahs treated him. And once he learns that positivity exists
in the world, he too, tries and succeeds at changing for the better. Just below Shrek is his wife, Princess Fiona. A bit spoiled early on, Fiona is a human princess
by day and an ogress by night, until she marries Shrek, breaks the curse, and takes true love’s
form — as an ogre. Not above a little trickery to get some alone
time with Shrek (see the blue flowers, red thorns quest), and definitely not above fighting
dirty to defend herself or her friends, Fiona is a combination of her inner desire to be
seen as a lovely princess, and her lived reality of having to fend for herself. When her dream comes in conflict with her
reality, it often manifests itself as cruelty —
like when she calls Shrek unfeeling when she leaves him for Farquaad, but it’s rooted
in deep insecurity: will people love her for who she is? Once she realizes that she can have a love
that accepts her, ogress and all, she certainly drops a lot of her nastiness, though she retains
a bit of that pompous princess upbringing in the sequels. Still, she’s kind-hearted, and would do
anything for her husband, who in turn would do anything for her. Next, we’re going to throw in a The Three
Little Pigs AND The Big Bad Wolf . Now, I know The Big Bad Wolf has “bad” in his
name… but we don’t really see anything wrong with anyone here. In fact, he, along with the piggies are loyal
to Shrek and even help him assault the kingdom and win back Fiona at the end of Shrek 2 -- so
I think we’re dealing with good characters. Next is Gingy — the mini gingerbread man. We first meet Gingy when he’s being tortured
by Lord Farquaad (not the gumdrop buttons!). He’s a good soul, helps rescue Shrek in
the sequels, and organizes the great siege on the castle. So why does he place so low on the list? He’s a mad-cookie scientist! He creates a giant gingerbread-monster and
forces him to siege a castle, killing the poor guy in the process! Your tears are not enough, Gingy, you gingerbread
war-monger. Moving on to Puss...in boots: the most feared,
and fluffy, assassin in the kingdom of Far, Far, Away. Initially hired by King Harold to kill shrek
(major evil point), Puss turns turncoat (turns tail?) once he’s subdued by Donkey and Shrek,
and becomes a loyal sidekick. While perhaps being foiled in his mission
to assassinate isn’t the best reason to turn good, Puss does see the light, and proves
his loyalty in battle, helping Shrek rescue Fiona. Still, the guy was going to kill Shrek for
a bag of gold coins… But you can’t stay mad at this little guy
for long… Coming in next is — Dragon. Dragon is a bit of a tricky character to rank. She’s got a heart of gold, and also a fiery
rage that literally burns people to a crisp. She eats people. She killed dozens of knights trying to rescue
the princess. But, she’s a dragon, and they attacked her
— she’s supposed to guard Fiona from intruders, it’s her job. She is a bit forward when it comes to romance
(Donkey called it “unwanted physical contact”), but maybe she was just ahead of the love curve,
as she and donkey ultimately become a couple and have children. Plus, she saves the day at the end of the
first movie, bringing Shrek and Donkey to Farquaad’s palace to stop the wedding. To top it all off, she uses her dragon powers
for good, eating Farquaad and stopping his evil rule once and for all. Bit of an oddball for our next pick — we
have the Magic Mirror. Neither good nor evil, the magic mirror reveals
only the truth, and he’s only in it for self-survival. Captured by Farquaad and threatened with destruction
(7 years of bad luck be damned) the magic mirror immediately shows Farquaad his ticket
to royalty — marrying a princess. He then shows him how to find Princess Fiona,
and, unfortunately, is forced to replay the image of Fiona for a disrobed Farquaad over
and over again. Just look at that wince! (find this clip from
Shrek 1) At least he knows Farquaad is vile, and understands he is complicit in this man’s
evil plan. Next, we have Pinocchio. Even though he’s a member of the rescue
team in Shrek 2, Pinocchio is a compulsive liar. Where the mirror shows only truth, Pinocchio
brings only deception. At least Donkey, Shrek, and Gingy are able
to use this to help get rescued, when Pinocchio lies about *not* wearing ladies’ underwear
(uh… W.T.F.) to grow his nose, so Gingy can reach
and unshackle our heroes.Odd Okay, we have to throw in Thelonius next. The executioner. Not bad per se, Thelonius is Farquaad’s
henchman, whose defining trait is his dimwittedness (pick number three my lord!). He does threaten the magic mirror, but abandons
Farquaad when Fiona and Shrek kiss, writing Aaaaw in giant crayon/marker on the audience
cue card. Truthfully a big softie who’s likely too
dumb to realize he was employed by the evil side. We gotta throw in Monsieur Hood if only for
his awesome musical number. Our inexplicably French thief who can’t
help but burst into song, Monsieur hood isn’t really evil, but misguided. He tries to “rescue” Fiona though she
clearly needs no rescuing, and then attempts to murder Shrek (add him to that long growing
list). He’s a bit of a creep, and substitutes in
the “family friendly” rhyme in his songs, where the dirty phrase was intended (He likes
to get “paid.”) Us too, monsieur hood, us too. But I suppose he means well. He’s just got a hell of an ego. Personally, I’m curious if the way he was
portrayed in Shrek is similar to the original Robin Hood story. I guess I’ll have to check out the original
story on Audible, which we’re lucky enough to have as our sponsor! Audible’s content includes an unmatched
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helps support the creation of our content. Now we have King Harold. So far away morally from Queen Lillian, it’s
amazing they stayed married! Harold, too, wants what is best for his daughter,
but by God is he way more selfish and nefarious in his actions. Cruel to Shrek from the get-go, it turns out
he had cut a deal with Fairy Godmother. In exchange for helping change himself from
a frog to a human, he had to promise his daughter’s hand in marriage to Prince Charming. Threatened to be turned back into a frog,
Harold decides to have Shrek executed! Not good! Then, he goes along with a plan to deceive
his own daughter into thinking Prince Charming is Shrek— and get her to drink a love potion
that will make her fall in love with the first person she kisses (Prince charming)! Again, not good! He does eventually redeem himself by abandoning
Fairy Godmother’s plan, drinking the potion himself, and sacrificing himself to save Shrek
from Fairy Godmother. However, he still ordered the murder of his
son-in-law, and a last minute change of heart can’t undo all that damage. Last of the minor baddies: The Old Woman. The one who tries to sell Donkey for ten shillings,
just because he can talk. Greedy, a liar, and abusive, she’s also
the first time I ever heard “damn” in a kids movie. Scandalous. But in all seriousness, who treats an animal
like that? Terrible. Ok, time for the real bads. The evil ones. Least evil of the evils: Jaime Lannister-
I mean, Prince Charming. The spoiled, handsome son of Fairy Godmother,
Charming will stop at nothing to rule the kingdom (like all our other evil ones), the
difference being he’s not very good at it, and he’s not very intimidating. He relies on the brains and magic of his mummy
to put himself on the throne — each of his steps in Shrek 2 are planned by Fairy Godmother. He’s creepy more than evil — see how he
twirls the rose in his mouth during a tango. In Shrek the third, he plays a bit more of
a leading villain role, but it is equally pathetic, having been relegated to an actor
in dinner theatre. No knock on dinner theatre, but it’s no
Kingdom. Plus, his revenge plan entails using villains
to stage a coup and then force Shrek to act as the villain in yet another theatrical performance,
this time for the whole kingdom. Pretty flimsy revenge plan, and it falls apart
on top of him — literally. Up next: Rumplestiltskin. Our first (and last) entry from Shrek forever
after, Crafty Rumple tricks Shrek into giving up his date of birth, which through plot magic,
allows Rumple to rule Far, Far Away. The less said about Shrek Forever After, the
better, so let’s just leave it at Shrek uses his selflessness to foil Rumple’s evil
plans. Get outta here! Ok — our final two. The most evil characters in The Shrek Cinematic
Universe. In second place: Fairy Godmother . Devious,
calculating, and even seductive at times, Fairy Godmother makes it her business to give
clients their own happy ever after — for a price. She corrals Harold into trying to murder Shrek
and, more or less, roofie his daughter. Fairy Godmother is truly power hungry and
will stop at nothing to gain control. Even willing to kill or leverage turning someone
into a frog. Plus, she doesn’t even give her worker’s
dental. The only reason she doesn’t clock in at
number one is she has the best cover of Holdin’ out for a hero that has ever graced the screen. Chills. Our number one most evil is, no surprises,
Lord Farquaad . Legend has it he was modeled after Katzenburg’s old boss, Michael Eisner,
and he certainly satirizes the excesses of the Disney parks in his small-world-ified
Duloc. Plus his name sounds like Fuckwad, and don’t
tell me that’s an accident. So what makes Farquaad such a … Farquaad? He expels all the Fairy Tale creatures from
his domain, he tortures a gingerbread man, he tries to kill Shrek (more than once), then
forces Shrek to go on a quest to fetch Fiona for him to marry. I mean, just by displacing all of the fairytale
characters from their homes, he’s essentially creating a refugee crisis and discriminating
against an entire group of characters. Farquaad does at least uphold his promise
to rid Shrek’s swamp of fairy tale creatures, but that is the extent of his kindness. At his wedding, when he discovers Fiona is
an ogre, he decides to lock her up in a dungeon, using her royal blood as a way to become king,
after which he will discard her forever… That is pretty wildly dark and sounds like
something a character on Game of Thrones would do. This is his m.o. He uses people. However, unlike Fairy Godmother, he is forced
to rely on others to do his bidding for him— he cannot commit his deeds himself. Without their assent, he is powerless. All that takes to end him is a donkey on the
edge with one hungry dragon. That’s our ranking! Disagree with us — let us know in the comments. Remember to hit that notification bell and
binge our Good to Evil playlist -- where we break down the morality spectrum of your favorite
cartoons and movies. But most importantly, stay wicked.
