BUT FIRST,
IT'S SHAQ THE SHOWMAN.
OH, HE'S A SHOWMAN. NO MATTER WHERE HE GOES,
HE'S A HEADLINER, SO--
DID HE SING
WITH BARRY MANILOW? HE DID NOT SING WITH BARRY,
BUT EARLIER THIS WEEK--
CéLINE DION? NO. YOU'RE GETTING CLOSER.
YOU'RE GETTING WARMER. BUT EARLIER THIS WEEK,
YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID? HE REACHED INTO
HIS BAG OF TRICKS, DID A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS
WITH PENN & TELLER. YEAH.
THAT'S PRETTY COOL, TOO. WE'RE LOOKING FOR PENN & TELLER.
IT'S MAGIC TIME.
(car door closes) EVERYTHING ABOUT VEGAS
HAS ALWAYS BEEN MAGIC. PENN & TELLETHEATER
STRAIGHT AHEAD. THEY'RE ONE OF THE GREATEST
MAGICIAN DUOS IN VEGAS, ONE OF MY FAVORITES--
PENN & TELLER. MY NAME IS PENN JILLETTE,
MY PARTNER TELLER.
(audience cheering) WE'RE PENN & TELLER.
THANKS A LOT! GOOD NIGHT! (amplified voice) EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME.
(Penn) OH, MY GOODNESS. (laughs) IS THAT SHAQ THERE? (cheering) SO YOU KNOW WHY I'M HERE,
RIGHT? I WANT TO CHALLENGE YOU
TO A MAGIC TRICK. YOU DO MAGIC?
UH, YES. OF COURSE I DO. EVERYONE DOES MAGIC.
IT'S EASY.
YEAH. OKAY.
(laughs) IT'S EASY? CAN I?
YOU CHALLENGE US TO MAGIC? YES. YOU ACCEPT? YEAH. HOW ABOUT, UH, TOMORROW NIGHT, RIGHT HERE,
SAME TIME, SAME PLACE? AND WE ARE GOING TO,
I BELIEVE, TAKE YOU DOWN. DEAL.
OKAY, MAN.
SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT. ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
THANKS A LOT. OKAY, THANKS. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
SHAQ! GOOD LUCK TO YOU, MAN. (Shaquille) I KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT MAGIC. I KNOW A LITTLE HOMEBOY
QUARTER TRICK WHERE, YOU KNOW,
YOU THROW IT IN YOUR HAND, AND YOU GET THE KIDS
TO LOOK AWAY, YOU THROW IT AWAY. THAT'S THE ONLY MAGIC I KNOW. ¶ EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU TELL ME
WHERE PENN & TELLER ARE?
DOWN THAT WAY. THIS WAY? ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
SURE. NICE SHOW LAST NIGHT.
THANK YOU. SO NOW WHAT DO I GOTTA DO? COME ON IN.
I GOTTA DEVISE A STRATEGY ON HOW I COULD MAKE MYSELF
HALFWAY LOOK LIKE A MAGICIAN. YOU GUYS BEEN DOING THIS
FOR A WHILE, HUH? YEAH, YOU KNOW, OVER 30 YEARS
OF WORKING TOGETHER, YOU KNOW. 30 YEARS?
A LONG TIME. SO, UH, THANK YOU
FOR ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE. YOU KNOW, USUALLY WHEN--WHEN
PEOPLE ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE, WE NEGOTIATE,
BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, NOBODY IN THE WORLD CAN DO MAGIC
LIKE YOU GUYS CAN DO IT.
WELL, THANK YOU. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
YOU'RE GONNA DO A MAGIC TRICK?
I WANT TO CUT
SOMEBODY IN HALF. WELL, YOU KNOW,
WE DON'T WANT YOU TO DO ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN HURT SOMEBODY.
I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A MISTAKE, BUT IF YOU DO,
WE DON'T WANT THE ST--
<i>(gong crashes)</i> I GOT ONE. YEAH?
I WANT TO LEVITATE AND FLY
OVER THE WHOLE AUDIENCE. <i>(wind whistling)</i> SO, UH, WE'RE NOT GONNA--
WE'RE NOT GONNA LEVITATE.
(groans) I WANNA FLY. YOU'RE NOT FLYING, AND YOU'RE
NOT TAKING CUTTING IMPMENTS TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
ALL RIGHT,
GIVE ME A TRICK, THEN. WE'VE GOT A TRICK CALLED
LIFTOFF TO LOVE.
I'VE SEEN THAT ONE. YEAH, IT'S A GOOD ONE.
I CAN HAVE THAT ONE? YEAH, YOU CAN HAVE THAT.
(Shaquille) NOW I KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO. I'M LOOKING AT TWO
OF THE GREATEST MAGICIANS IN THE WORLD
AGAINST ME, A NONMAGICIAN. SO YOU KNOW ME. I'M
VERY SHAQ-TICAL IN MY PLANNING. I LISTEN WHEN LEGENDS TALK,
AND YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT TEAMWORK.
UH-HUH. SO I'M-A NEED A PARTNER,
ANOTHER FAMOUS MAGICIAN.
WHO'S THAT? <i>(drumroll)</i> IT ALMOST LOOKED LIKE
YOU POINTED TO TELLER THERE. THAT'S WHO I WANT.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
WELL, THIS IS A-- THIS IS A COMPLETE,
ABSOLUTE UNBREAKABLE TEAM. IT'S PENN & TELLER.
THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES. LISTEN...
(whispers) SHAQ & TELLER. NO, IT SOUNDS AWFUL. (normal voice) OH, NO. SHH. IT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
YOU KNOW,
WHEN I COMPETE AGAINST PEOPLE, I LIKE TO PUT A LITTLE STAKES
ON IT.
HOW ABOUT THIS--
YOU GIVE ME TELLER. IF I DON'T WIN, YOU GET TO HAVE
MY JET FOR ONE NIGHT. IT'S THE FASTEST JET IN THE AIR,
TAKE YOU ANYWHERE-- IF YOU BEAT ME.
SO I GOTTA DO A TRICK BY MYSELF,
YOU DO A TRICK, SHAQ & TELLER? YES. YES.
AND WE'LL DO IT IN FRONT
OF AN AUDIENCE, LET THEM DECIDE. IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE, YES.
OKAY. <i>(bell dings)</i>
(Penn & Teller laugh) SHAQ & TELLER.
OH, DEAR.
YOU'VE GOT A CHANCE. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, SIR.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
YOU GON' GIVE ME THE TRICK AND SHOW ME THE SECRET
OF THE TRICK? I KNOW I GOT THIS ONE.
I AIN'T EVEN TRIPPIN'. OOH, FEELING GOOD. TRAITOR. WELL, SHAQ NOW WORKING
WITH A SILENT PARTNER. DEFINITELY. SO HOW DID SHAQ DO IN THIS
SLIGHTLY UNUSUAL CHALLENGE? WE'LL FIND OUT
AFTER THE BREAK.
THAT'S RIGHT. THE MAN OF STEEL
WILL TAKE ON PENN & TELLER AT THE RIO ALL-SUITES
HOTEL & CASINO ON "SHAQ VS." ON ABC. BUT BEFORE THAT HAPPENS, LET'S SEE WHAT WENT DOWN
WHEN THE GREAT SHAQ-DINI TOOK ON PENN & TELLER. ¶ SO NOW THAT I CHALLENGED PENN, THE DYNAMIC O OF SHAQ & TELLER
HAS TO PERFORM. SO I GOTTA GET MY PRACTICE IN
'CAUSE I GOTTA MAKE SURE THE CROWD GOES CRAZY
AFTER MY PERFORMANCE. THIS IS THE TRICK? SO HOW DOES THIS WORK? (mouths words)
OH, SLOW DOWN. SLOW DOWN. IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT PENN & TELLER, TELLER DOESN'T TALK... AT ALL.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? WHERE YOU GOING? (mouths words) TELLER, MY MAN, SAY SOMETHIN'. YOU GOTTA HELP ME OUT NOW.
SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM.
(mouths word) WHO YOU CALLING? JOHNNY? HE SHOWS ME A PICTURE OF A GUY. THE GUY HAPPENS TO BE
JOHNNY THOMPSON, LEGEND IN VEGAS. JOHNNY. YES, THIS IS SHAQ.
HOW ARE YOU DOING, SIR? CAN YOU HELP US, PLEASE?
THIS GUY JOHNNY IS LIKE THE GREAT-GRANDFATHER
OF ALL MAGICIANS. MAN, THIS CAT JUST COMES OUT OF
NOWHERE. I'M LIKE, "HEY, MAN."
HEY, GUYS. HEY, JOHNNY.
YOU SCARED ME, MAN.
HEY. HOW YOU DOING, SHAQ? HOW'D YOU DO THAT?
WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?
WELL, THAT'S MY BUSINESS. SO I
HEAR WE'RE GONNA DO LIFTOFF. YES.
JOHNNY SHOWED ME WHAT THE TRICK
LIFTOFF WAS ALL ABOUT. TELLER, GET IN POSITION
INSIDE THE BOX. BASICALLY, TO PUT IT IN
A NUTSHELL, YOU GOT THREE BOXES. SO HERE YOU'LL SAY
"BLAST OFF." UH-HUH.
YOU'RE GONNA CLOSE THE DOOR, LIFT IT UP, PUT IT DOWN. TELLER'S IN THE BOXES, SO NOW
I GOTTA SEPARATE THE BOX. (Johnny) TAKE IT OVER.
SET IT DOWN ON ITS END. AND I TAKE THE WAIST
ANPUT IT THERE AND A HAND COMES OUT
OF THE STOMACH. OH, MY GOD. COME ON OVER.
KICK THE TOP AND BOTTOM. BOY, YOU'RE GOOD ALREADY. TURN IT OVER, T IT HERE. (mouths words) NOW YOU CLOSE IT. YOU PICK IT UP
AND MOVE IT OVER TO HERE. OKAY. POPS AGAIN. YOU'LL CLOSE IT. NOW YOU GONNA MAYBE JUST MOVE
IN TIME RIGHT NOW...
OKAY UNTIL YOU SEE
THESE LEGS KICK OUT, LIKE SO.
YEAH. IT WAS A LOT OF CLICKING
AND CLACKING AND ROTATION AND MOVEMENTS.
THAT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME. CLICK CLACK, PULL IT BACK.
CLICK CLACK. (mutters) I ADMIT, I HAVE A HORRIBLE
SHORT-TERM MEMORY. SO I'M MAKING UP SONGS. ¶ TAKE THE HEAD OFF,
PUT IT ON THE FLOOR ¶ ¶ SECOND THING,
ROTATE A LITTLE MORE ¶ ¶ NOW GET THE OTHER ONE,
FLIP IT ON THE SIDE ¶ ¶ TAKE THE HEAD BACK.
NOW YOU GOT A RIDE ¶ ¶ LOOK AT THE CROWD,
LEGS COME OUT ¶ ¶ PUT THE LEGS IN,
FLIP IT ALL ABOUT ¶ ¶ DON'T FORGET THE FOOT THING,
PUT IT ALL BACK ¶ ¶ VOILà, BOOM, DAMN, SHAQ ¶ BOY, YOU'RE GOOD. (laughs) I FINALLY GET IT, SO HE'S GIVING ME THE CONFIDENCE
TO KNOW THE TRICK. WHEN THE CURTAINS OPEN, THERE
AIN'T NOTHING TO TALABOUT. IT'S GONNA BE
THE SHAQ & TELLER SHOW TONIGHT. ¶ <i>(man over P.A.) LADIES</i>
<i>AND GENTLEMEN--SHAQ & TELLER.</i> (cheering) WELCOME, WELCOME. WELCOME TO YOUR FIRST AND ONLY
ANNUAL SHAQ & TELLER SHOW. I AM SHAQ, AND THIS IS
MY SEXY PARTNER TELLER. TURN AROUND SO THEY CAN SEE IT.
(sting plays) SEXY TELLER.
(woman) WHOO! ALL GHT.
SEE, I'M GONNA DO MY TRICK
WITH TELLER, AND THEN PENN IS GONNA DO
ONE OF HIS MAGIC TRICKS, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA LET
THE AUDIENCE DECIDE.
HIT IT. <i>(big band music playing)</i> heering and laughing) <i>(man) BLAST OFF.</i> <i>(man) ¶ FIRST STAGE,</i>
<i>YOU REALLY BLEW MY MIND ¶</i> <i>¶ NEXT STAGE ¶</i> <i>¶ I REACHED</i>
<i>BUT COULD NOT FIND ¶</i> <i>¶ HUH! ¶</i> I'M SEEING A ROUTINE
IN MY HEAD. ¶ ALL RIGHT ¶
(scatting) <i>BLAST OFF.</i>
<i>¶ BLAST OFF ¶</i> EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT, PERFECT. <i>¶ NO RELATIVITY ¶</i> <i>¶ IN MY GALAXY ¶</i> <i>BLAST OFF.</i> <i>¶ LIFTOFF TO LOVE ¶</i> <i>¶ LIFTOFF TO LOVE ¶</i> <i>¶ LIFTOFF TO LOVE ¶</i> <i>¶ LIFTOFF TO LOVE! ¶</i>
<i>BLAST OFF.</i> (knock on door) (laughter) OHH, THIS IS WHOO, BAD. THIS IS SO BAD THAT
IF I EVER TRY TO COME BACK AND GET A MAGIC CARD,
THEY GON' SHUT THE DOOR. "WHO IS IT?" "IT'S SHAQ. I WANNA
LEARN SOME MAGIC." "NO."
<i>(door opens and closes)</i> (laughter) GO BACK TEN YEARS LATER.
"WHO IS IT?" "IT'S SHAQ." "NO."
<i>(door opens and closes)</i> TRY TO COME FROM THE BACK,
THROW ON A BEARD. "HEY, MY NAME IS TONY."
"NO. BEAT IT, SHAQ."
<i>(door opens and closes)</i> THAT WAS THE WORST MAGIC TRICK
EVER. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT WAS SO BAD, I DON'T EVEN WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT. BUT IN MY MIND I'M THINKING,
YO, IF PENN MESSES UP, MAYBE I HAVE A CHANCE. COME ON. SHAQ DID
A PRETTY GREAT JOB, DIDN'T HE? (cheering) MY TURN. COME ON OUT, SHAQ. (cheering) (laughs) (chewing gum)
NOW, SHAQ, I HAVE HERE A PERFECTLY ORDINARY
DECK OF CARDS. ALL THE CARDS ARE DIFFERENT. NO
TRAPDOORS, NO NOTHING IN THERE. I'M JUST GONNA RIFFLE
DOWN THE DECK, SHAQ. WHENEVER YOU WANT,
YOU JUST SAY "STOP."
STOP. RIGHT THERE, NEAR THE TOP.
TAKE A LOOK THAT CARD. SHOW IT TO THE CAMERA. SHOW IT
TO THE AUDIENCE. MEMORIZE IT.
(Shaquille) FIRST HE TELLS ME TO
PICK A CARD, SO I GET THE CARD. HE TELLS ME TO TAKE MY CARD
AND SHOW IT TO THE CROWD. YOU GIVE 'EM A SHUFFLE, SHAQ. OH, NO, KEEP RIGHT THERE.
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU THE NEXT PROPS
WE'RE GONNA BE USING. I'M SURE YOU'RE FAMILIAR
WITH ONE OF THESE. WE HAVE HERE, UH--
THANK YOU, GEORGIE. WE HAVE A BASKETBALL HERE. HE GETS A BASKETBALL.
HE'S MAKING JOKES. HE'S LAUGHING AT ME, LIKE,
"I'M GONNA BE ON YOUR PLANE."
THESE ARE
MY TEAMMATES THERE, SHAQ. WOULD YOU HAND THEM THE CARDS,
PLEASE, THE CARDS THAT YOU SHUFFLED?
NOW MY TEAM... WILL SPREAD THE CARDS
OUT ON THE FLOOR. THEY ARE SO MUCH BETTER
THAN TELLER, SHAQ. (laughter)
THEY ARE SO MUCH BETTER. NOW, SHAQ, WATCH THIS. A LITTLE BIT OF GUM
RIGHT THERE. OKAY, SHAQ, HERE WE GO. SO HE'S DRIBBLIN'
AND HE'S LOOKING AT ME... (laughs) LAUGHING. DRIBBLE. (laughs) I GOT IT.
ON THE THIRD BOUNCE,
HE PICKS THE BALL UP. AND, SHAQ, IS THAT YOUR CARD? THE THREE OF CLUBS. (cheering) I WAS LIKE, "YOU SHOW-OFF." HE'S A PERFECTIONIST.
I WAS DONE. I COULDN'T WAIT TO GET OUT
OF THAT BUILDING THAT NIGHT. (laughs)
I THINK, UH, WE GOT THE PLANE,
DON'T YOU THINK? BUT WE'LL DO A VOTE HERE. SO ONE MORE TIME
FOR SHAQ & TELLER. (cheering) AND MORE TIME
FOR THE CLEAR WINN-- PENN JILLETTE! (cheering loudly) I GOTTA CATCH
A REGULAR FLIGHT HOME.
The Amazing James Randi makes a cameo!
I like the original much more tbh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEB50IfgkA4
The script for this new segment was full of so much cringe, like there was never a competition and everyone knows it, so the stuff Shaq is talking about is just... pointless and kind of dull tbh. I'm impressed Teller still has no problem performing this particular trick with all the crazy manuvering- they could have come up with a better set-up for Shaq's guest appearance. Was he really that inept he couldn't do a trick there are youtube videos of 1st graders executing flawlessly? What was this travesty :/
Just when I thought I found a really tall person, Shaq proves me wrong.