Series 7, Episode 6 - 'A coquettish fascinator' | Full Episode | Taskmaster

[Music] [Applause] [Music] ah [Music] ah hello thank you i'm greg davis and this ladies and gentlemen is the 50th ever episode of taskmaster [Music] it's going to be one hell of a night or it might be like any other episode but with a few more references to the number 50. let's meet the five trophy hungry contestants joining us to both compete in and celebrate this auspicious occasion they are james a caster jessica knapfox terry godleman phil wang and rod gilbert and next to me for the 50th time the 50th time he claims that he's six foot but he's just below five let's all alex hall well i've just got stats stats today okay 50 episodes 35 contestants 263 tasks 45 disqualifications 11 tie breaks 228 breaks two arm breaks one marriage one task master baby and one everlasting friendship are you allowed are you allowing that you think we're friends do you forever i don't think you could tell me one thing about my life outside of this show what car have i got a car a honda no so with the 50th special one right come on man let's make this a good one i'll try and the best possible way to go about making that happen would have to be by starting with the prize task and it's a neat one this week we've asked them to bring in the best key uh curry what's the special key you've brought in uh my special key is the key to my camper van which i'm very excited about the key looks like this ready for the campervan yep oh [ __ ] it what do you think a campervan looks like i love the key what do you expect a campervan to look like you've put this in a surprise because you don't want to play to have it towed away my camera van is a thing of joy he's got loads of cupboards and drawers it's like sylvanians for grown-ups okay just for argument's sake phil you win this show what are you going to do with that van stripped for parts thank you phil obviously you've got your eye on the strip down prize now but what did you bring in i brought the best key um which is the g key from a piano here it is nice there it is um it's um g which is the best key it's the the highest um letter in the alphabet before they gave up and went back to a because g you can't top a g uh you know i like it well i say that uh kerry's is better i've ripped this with my bare hands out of a real piano i i put it to you that that is a yes and you're right to do that face two can play that game phil i put it to you but that is a stock library picture of it it is not a stock no it isn't he did bring in a key but i don't know where he shot it nicely didn't we that's going to come off your wage for this show jess i've thought outside the box it's called a key a lime pie bracket homemade did you really make it yes i really made it if it's a stock library picture i'm going to say not it here it is here's the pie either heart task but it should say i heart the dust master which it does if you read it the right way around which is the wrong way around did you really make it yes i really made it yes genuinely delicious well it genuinely is as a special 50th episode celebration i'm going to let alex eat all of that pie at the end of the show and i mean all of it and well he should still nope when the winner goes up to collect the prizes you can eat that entire pie okay okay good i look forward to that james a custard i bought in the key to my heart he's brought in this i love ice cream and i hope alex likes ice cream with his key lime pie yeah you are going to be a very full boy i think what we'll have to do is we have to find out what what rod's brought in and fingers crossed it's better than a bowl of ice cream and then we'll come back of course it's gonna be better than a bowl of ice cream well i think it will be sorry to interrupt it's definitely gonna come last [Laughter] why gut instinct rotary i sort of read a bit outside the box as well because i thought i make a prediction this is going to be a picture of me looking fat here is rod's key weird thing to say but it sort of does it for me as a picture so who's in last place oh well james is in last place bringing a bowl of ice cream in one point to james a caster based on the fact that i still believe that's a library picture of a piano key yeah i'm giving phil two points which is not but fine okay so the second last one if it's proved otherwise to me if i see the physical proof of the key you will at the end during this show i'll give him a bonus point we all know that the prizes come up at the end definitely i'm definitely going to see it you know i thought it might be a picture of the key i mean you think that's going to go up it's like bullseye there's going to be a [ __ ] campervan up there that's right third place with three points just because he's been so gobby in the last two minutes rod gilbert okay he's stepping up he's standing up now oh jess i'm giving you four points because the pie looks nice and i can't wait to see this prick eat it i'll take it have we all been beaten by the camper van yeah it would appear so five points to kerry thanks so much we are shifting now aren't we yeah what do you have ready and waiting in the wings for us i have something very apt for episode 50. ready yeah here we go oh james ah put exactly 50 different things in this bin fastest wins your time stops when you say i've put exactly 50 different things in this bin fit alex in this bin rolling down the hill fastest wings that was a wind-up get used to that what's the last bit say the last your time starts when alex touches you on the shoulder oh god i thought you might run oh [Music] time starts now james ah i can't go any i've started the clock your time started bro right now it's thinking time it's nice for us to fall into this stereotypes there i've always been having extra time and those two it worked but not for granddad did it yeah so this is actually a two-part task but we're going to deal with each part separately greg first let's see how they gathered their items ready yes here we go right one at a time is it well for now one two three four five six seven [Music] oh hold on what am i doing [Music] eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one two two twenty three twenty four twenty five twenty six seven 28 29 30. 31 32 3 4 35 36 78 39 40 41 42 43 [Music] 45 45 46 47 48 49 50. i put exactly 50 things in this bin suck it i put exactly 50 different things in this bin i put exactly 50 different things in this bin i've put 50 things in this bin i put exactly 50 different different things right well we need to nip a potential argument in the bud here i think with the definition of different things well all of them put two of the same things in except for filth all 50 fills were different but i suppose you could say that the stones were all different the oranges were there they're different stones from each other but phil was the only one who made the effort to put 50 totally different and that is reflected in the time just while i'm thinking about this um do you want to explain suck it well it'd suck it at the end yeah i felt good who was who was it directed at just everyone in general suck it everyone you two and wolf from gladiators the captain lady tell me some time well jess took two minutes 52 going back and forth to the shed instead of bringing the bin to the shed looks very tired of course two minutes 30. kerry potato then mainly through one minute 27 james 58 seconds just to start no stones in one ukulele phil who's traditionally slow this time really slow six minutes 57 so are we rewarding them for speed or how does phil get i think it's all about speed if there's a piano key up there i'm not going to give him a bonus point but i'm going to secure him one now for putting 50 different things in because i think it needs rewarding so phil was the slowest so he gets one point but you're giving him a bonus point for putting 52 points correct okay then jess gets 2.3 points to rod carry four but james wins the first part of the task and gets five points incredibly yeah right that's it my friends it's the end of the first part of this special half century episode so go to your business and come back here when you've cleaned up [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hello 50th everyone together and yet i still don't feel like i know you maybe you never will greg maybe you never will so can we now see the other part of this tusk please yes there was more to this than just gathering 50 things here's the next bit of the task [Music] i recognise these guys coincidence i don't think so these are the things i put in the bin right i'm gonna open this and i'm gonna rest with my head again using all the items on this mat make the best picture of the taskmaster you have ten minutes your time starts now you want me to do a picture of the escaped easter island monument that you call the task master oh i should have gone with something more very than the time starts now well i've got lots of red for the mouth okay these are going to be eyebrows he's quite frowny isn't he he's got one of those has he got one of those bum chins can i break this do everyone [Music] i've just noticed just quite quite how much my bowl's just pushing out bulge my bowl teeth are definitely green or brown but his eyes are could be blue there's one of his little pencil legs down there his legs absurdly out of proportion this is quite good it's quite picasso-esque it's so greg arms i forgot [ __ ] for the other one yeah he does but he doesn't use them [Music] thank you phil thank you guys [Applause] [Music] [Applause] they all said you had angry eyebrows you're frowning you're always frowning you're not very smiley and phil said i wish i'd filled the bin with pasty coloured things don't uh thanks for that extra point greg enjoy it really enjoy it suck it in fact well let's start i'll show you what rod and kerry put in their bins and then what they did with it this is their raw ingredients rod and kerry and this is what they ended up with pretty flattering yeah and i haven't got a problem weirdly with having no arms even though you had plenty of leaves to make arms with but you you decided to focus on them going on my stomach well if i'd given you arms i would have had to made you look thin and i think you'd agree it's a better likeness with you fat and no arm well some fascinating decisions by you kerry because as the neck demonstrates there were enough oranges to give me two legs that are the same width but you went if i'm really gonna make it look like him i'm gonna have to get that withered leg in place early doors i wasn't thinking like that that wasn't a conscious decision what's the silver bowl it's a little fascinating a little cuttish fascinator you're going to a wedding oh congratulations on your wedding are you wearing a fascinating though it's not about me it's not about me can you help me through this door why because one of my legs is withered who's next please alex now we get to see jess and phil's masterpieces this is what they were working with and this is what they mustered up here we go [Applause] that is really seriously good really sorry did you miss here and think it was a portrait of me after i'd fallen out of a pine tree it's an angry bird pig oh in that case full marks because that's the look i've been trying to perfect for years jess what's so worrying is i was so proud of that when i made it i honestly thought it was really good and why is that oblong on my face more to the point there's paint so i could have like used the paint oh yeah you're the only one who put art materials in and then didn't use them just use them as the top of my head there's one more we've secured last place but let's have a look yeah okay okay finally this is what james a caster portrait artist of the year was working with well he transformed that into these i was really pleased with it i i went into that room and saw what i had to work with and i was really scared and then you smashed up the youtube i smashed it up and i was amazed with each smash it just came off like a perfect part of your body and that is an incredible piece of work what i think is uh delightful and incredible is that you have managed to show the fear in alex's face well do you want to see all five together and you can judge me i do okay so here's the five greg faces and i'm going to judge this based on which ones i think look most like me okay i'm sorry phil what i'm sorry this is just lee that's a leafy duck what is this that's [ __ ] that's really bad please i've been very i've been very kind to you i think i've been very generous charitable i gave you a bonus point i never give bonus points out but i've got to look at that and say that's deeply hurtful it's a mental pig and i'm giving you one point one point to fill and purely uh two points purely based on the fact uh that i haven't got an oblong on the side of my face i'm giving two points to jessica two to jess second last place third place uh i've worked very hard on my withered leg very hard i'm giving you three points free to carry to kerry it's between rod and james yeah well i think how i think that uh rod has captured the essence of the anger i feel when when rod walks into a room yeah sort of i was doing it just after i'd walked into a room there you go i'm going to give you four points but jesus christ if i could give you ten i would five points for james okay scoreboard to be up okay do you want an update on the series at this point oh yes please we're over halfway two members of the contestant team are in triple figures phil's on 73. then 73 james 93 rod 95 jess 101 carries on 105 in the lead at the moment in this episode phil again adrift on five at the other end again kerry's on 12 james on 11. that's where we are at this moment in time i would uh very much enjoy seeing another task i thought you would okay we have one right here and this one is [Music] the next task [Music] oh hello sunshine hello hello oh hey al thanks do it it's on a hangar it is on living oh god oh write and perform the most suspenseful soap opera cliffhanger your scene may last no more than one minute you have 30 minutes how many 30 minutes to write a one minute scene your time starts now right write and perform i've already written mine in my head phil's pregnant yeah okay does he keep it one of us has got the other one pregnant that doesn't work does it i'd quite like to do a fight yeah we should definitely have a cat fight so one of us is pregnant how are the other ones how are you stage fighting oh you went the wrong way i may have implied uh from time to time uh during this series that kerry goddleman takes on the persona of phil mitchell in her approach to tasks which is sometimes right i see what we're doing let's do it bosh um be interesting to see which way you go when offered up all this is spinning don't you dare turn your back on me don't you even think about it i'll go on then go and see some adverts see you soon [Music] it's part three welcome back or more like party three because we're having a whale of a time aren't we on our 50th episode of taskmaster oh man there's a killer vibe in our crib right now before the break a team task was taking place where they had to write and perform the most suspenseful soap opera cliffhanger right bosh who we see first okay the first cliffhanger we're gonna see is [Music] the boys attempt and while i told you about looking doors in this house we don't have locked doors in this house i mean waiting downstairs for you nine months you've not been out of this bathroom at nine months why are you playing that i've been waiting for my dinner i'm starving meanwhile you're in here are you getting sorry for anything are you eating all the food is that what you've been doing nine months in the bath ain't it all not dinner what are you going to say for yourself no james i'm not fed i'm pregnant really i'm going to be a dad well if if you want to bring our little baby into the world then i want to make an honest woman of you [Music] will you marry me if i'm going to be an honest woman james then i better start telling the truth there's someone else [Applause] my water's broken my heart is broken rubber dub dub the premise of your soap opera is that a woman has been sitting in the bath for nine months just dating a baby that's right yes yes okay um and having an affair at the same time okay no wait the husband's clearly agitated i was very wound up what's he been doing for nine months he's been downstairs waiting for his dinner did you give your uh nasty misogynist character a name ah gus gus yes yep he's coming he's furious yeah but because she should she's a woman she should have provided the food you've been waiting for nine months you're nearly dead yes she then tell the streets i'm pregnant yes philippa philip sorry that's okay and then there's a touching moment between phillip and gus yeah so we finally break through i thought that bit of acting was okay this is where the real twist comes the lover is revealed lovely cliffhanger yes but i'm confused rod's character's only vocabulary in the whole scene is the phrase robert would it help if i told you that their soap is called feelings and there is a theme tune to it can we see it yeah this is the theme tune to feeling okay everybody's got feelings feelings hurt and feel good everybody's got feelings feelings [Applause] next up are the ladies with an excerpt from their gritty soap opera called cul-de-sac [Music] i know he's in there donna how'd you find me google max fudgy womp you ever had a manners you ever heard of already you can't be with him donna why cause you're his mom [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] uh so i don't mistake the obvious but uh your character's been having sex with her that's what she threw up oh you puke you're puked because you'd have sex with your own son yeah oh it's quite unsettling i thought it was because it was alex that's mean isn't it that is me i'd say for a soap opera not very much soap however in ours the definition of a cliffhanger is a dramatic and exciting ending to an episode leaving the audience in suspense and anxious not to miss the next episode we did that okay uh it's as simple as this cul-de-sac had some powerful acting in it okay thank you but the main reason i'm going to give the boys one more point is because unbelievable it's because everybody's [Applause] okay and it's been noted that this series and last you've started to wear glasses and i think they look fine so here's the next task hiya hi alex hello jess i love boxes inside boxes what's that say there c d e f g h i j k random not random here in order yeah in the lab there are 10 pairs of glasses the pairs of glasses may not leave the lab without breaking any of the pairs of glasses put all the pairs of glasses into the smallest of these boxes you must select your box before leaving the caravan and may not then change your mind smallest box containing all the pairs of glasses with the lid shut properly wins that's nuts you have a maximum total time of five minutes your time starts now what so it's pretty straightforward right yeah they had to choose which box they thought they could fit 10 pairs of glasses in yeah the smallest box that successfully was packaged with those glasses wins that make sense yep okay we're gonna start with james and kerry ten pairs of glasses i reckon they'll go in there go yes please yeah yeah pairs of glasses didn't see this coming [Music] oh do you know what i had in my head pairs of glasses oh i don't know why i had that in my head that's more pairs than i thought i'd get i'm now doing a thing knowing that it's not going to work out [Music] i'm sure there's a couple of glasses are bigger than the box yeah funnily enough i'm not going anywhere near those ones alex i've written them off [Music] [Applause] [Music] i feel tricked yes what do you mean by shut that shut it shut [Music] that shut crunched a bit there that is a goddamn miracle that i did that oh you got six pairs of glasses in there not bad and how do you want the child's master to transport the rest if i was a removal man and then he was there going well how do you want me to transport the rest i got up your ass trying to break him smallest arse winds you both thought these are these are spectacles i think i made that clear oh you spelt that out good and proper yeah oh yeah but i was excited it was acting a thick person oh it was a it was an extension of culture i was still on cul-de-sac i was still in the character oh blind me too i was acting a fake person too yeah i enjoyed your reaction immensely because you went up yeah oh god yeah of course it is yeah yeah god can't be straightforward can it yeah of course who's next please alex okay phil has glasses and as we've seen throughout the series he knows how to pack things in tightly can can he combine those skills let's see here's some glasses that sounds like spectacles that is probably a taskmaster trick is drinking glasses or something i put pairs of drinking glasses in there [Music] what are you doing phil how much trying to try and estimate heart the volume of 10 pairs of glasses [Music] i'm running on time i'll go with that [Music] you've got 2 minutes 40. i think the rule said i wasn't allowed to break any of the glasses have you broken one of the glasses i broken around the glasses trying to be too clever with the stacking aside from the single broken glass this is a textbook better packing i've no the only one so far that has spotted the dastardly trick dirty horrible trick you've got exactly the right size box he did and i've got some good news for you i'm going to nip this in the bud straight away you did break one glass but the rule was that you weren't allowed to break a pair of glasses so you only broke one glass so i'm fully allowing really everything yeah okay that was very impressive phil well done can anyone beat phil wang at the glass packing task what will the studio task be who will win curry's camper van and aren't adverts annoying all these questions will be answered within the next 15 minutes bye for now [Music] [Applause] hello welcome back to taskmaster part four sure it's the 50th ever episode but let's not forget it's also episode six of series seven yes it's the big one and not only that but before the break there was a glass packing task going on phil has proved the best packers so far last up are rod and jess can i go to the lab first all the information's on the task you must select your box before leaving the camera how many will not change your mind why didn't i think of that earlier such a dick yes i was thinking of spectacles i think i might play it safe okay [Music] i'm going with box e come on come on don't doodle f can i get it in f or e they might even go in g well actually i think this could work [Music] now what we got now here is a packing job well let's hear what's immediately clear is i've got the wrong box and you could come and see what size they got yeah absolutely here total disaster running out of time as well do you think i seem to have plenty of glasses hot pop i'm rising up to the taskmaster that's what's happening here [Music] with the lid shut properly please [Music] it's one of the most disappointing five minutes of my life i would say so far so far [Music] really happy with that jk out they were drinking glasses what i thought they were were massive spectacles well that makes sense you might have been tricked that way that's good because you just came across as someone who was just floating through life yeah i suppose this box would be some glasses yeah so i'm glad that there was method to your mother well it's what it's one of the first times that any of the tasks has come across as easy to me so that's good good with your big fun glasses uh reese's at the task for rod's benefit well the relevant bit is you must select your box before leaving the caravan and may not then change your mind i didn't see him selecting the box before running out of the caravan and looking at all the glasses and then running back and then still picking a very small box if i can grab a little thing come back then i've got to choose the box and leave the card i forgot that ain't going to look that was leaving the caravan these things can happen to you under pressure you should apply jess's techniques just play it yeah but i don't think i think that was quite a large box though yes it wasn't the smallest book unfortunately so you both got them all in but phil's box is smaller no it's not i don't know man should we work our way down from the top then yes of course so phil gets five he does he completed the task yeah jess also did but not as well four points correct how many are you going to give to kerry i'm gonna give her three how many to james uh i'm gonna give james two points because they both made some semblance of an attempt what about rod gilbert absolute zero nothing okay well mr phil why wins the task very good let's uh check in on the scores before the final task well the good news is that anyone could win this episode phil and rod are tied in last place with 13. kerry is out in front still with 17 points okay [Applause] please stand up and head up with me for the final task of the show [Music] welcome to the stage greg i'm delighted to be here who's going to read the task philip wang lovely hello everyone get your donut as high as possible you must be holding hands with the people on either side of you at all times highest donut after 100 seconds wins if your donut is in the air after a hundred seconds its height will be measured from where it lands so just to explain that final line you can't just fling it up in the air at the end it will be measured from where it lands okay okay so everyone needs to hold hands now so it's only the doughnut the fifth one up yep wait wait wait are you ready i'm ready yeah okay well james gonna by the way here we go guys best of luck to you okay [Applause] [ __ ] what's wrong with him [Applause] [Applause] oh [Applause] ten eight [Applause] [Music] goodness me you got dragged around i did which is incredible considering i'm knocking on the door of 30 stone i can show you a freeze frame of the exact moment 100 seconds was up yes please so this is what was going on the stage your facial expression's pretty good it looks like greg's being stalked by himself so are the ones we can see there phil's is actually just higher than james's then we've got kerry's but i think out of everyone kerry was the only one who let go of other hands enough to then put it on her head do you have anything to say about that sorry did you let go with both hands and you i didn't let go i was thrown around and i took the opportunity to move things forward you got three you should have connected yourself back up i didn't kill myself back up you did a sneaky drop and grab you know what you did yeah there are two donuts we can't see jess's is just below the stage there but it is still in existence so jess got the donut lower than it actually was at the beginning but she didn't break any rules james got my donut lower than it was in the beginning by kicking it off by cheating yeah it's a shame it wasn't cheating it was mean-spirited but hey it's a tough game baby i don't like that new catchphrase george donut ended up with that lovely lady at the back there and you can see her on the screen there as well there so we say that kerry gets zero points for releasing and i'm afraid so fair enough so jess is actually enforced gets two points james gets three phil gets four but the winner of that task is mr rob gilbert so it's a very close episode in second place it's rod gilbert and joint third is kerry and phil but the winner with 19 points it's james acaster james caster wins the sixth show and our fiftieth episode please go and collect your brilliant keys so what we learned today we've learned that the creative good drama is in the writing like when scarlett o'hara turned tearfully to wrap butler and pleaded where shall i go what shall i do to which rat replied frankly my dear a rubber dub dub we're also about to learn whether alex hall can eat an entire family key lime pie but more importantly than anything else going on in the world right now james a caster is the winner of tonight's show thank you lord fans thank you and good [Music] [Applause] night [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for more taskmaster subscribe now you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 2,287,553

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster full episodes, james acaster, James Acaster, Kerry Godliman, Jessica Knappett, Rhod Gilbert, Phil Wang, series 7, episode 6

Id: t6AdwIdqNqI

Length: 44min 0sec (2640 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 03 2020