First video together :3 M: It's as beautiful as the person who built it and you are beautiful. J: You don't know me! *laughs*
M: O-Okay *also laughs* M: Alright, I'm gonna- we're gonna actually do a tandem- M: 'Cause I'm gonna be- I'm gonna be here staring longingly into your eyes J: That's- OH MY GOD what did you do? *Mark cackles in background* M: Oh, God! J: Where am I?
M: What the hell happened? J: What is life?
M: Are you okay? J: I don't know. All I see is floor.
M: What happened? J: All I see is ground! M: Okay. Jack. What we're gonna do is th-
J: Hey Marky-Mark! M: I'm going to do my thing, you don't be an idiot. Goodbye! J: WHAT? We're a team! M: Oh, I don't think so.
J: Go teams- and he's gone. M: Did you hear splish-splashing? J: *singing* Splish splash, I was taking a bath. M: That's good singing. That'll distract 'em. J: Oh, yeah.
M: Let's sing it together! M: *singing* Splish splash, I was taking a bath and I went in the rubber ducky, shove it up my bum! Uh- W: Woah, woah, woah
*everyone laughs except for Mark* M: What? Hm?
B: Ah, I'm officially- M: WOOO! WE WIN!
B: Oh, is that the end? M: That's the end of it! J: Yeah! Virtual highfive! *whapoosh*
M: YEAHHHHHHH J: You virtual highfived, right? M: Virtual highfive, highfive your webcam, Wade and Bob, stay out of this one- I wasn't ready. I was not ready.
J: *kapush* Yeah! M: Can you-
J: Okay. Highfive right now. M: Okay. On three.
J: THREE TWO ONE GO *whapoosh*
*Wade highfives webcam* J: Did you do it?
M: No J: Did you leave me hanging?
M: Yes J: God damn it. M: I had no idea what I was doing.
J: You played it in a livestream, so... M: Yeah.
J: You have more experience on those few videos. M: Ah, I totally forgot I did it in a livestream. That's true, I built a log cabin- that was like my whole goal. J: I know more about you than you do!
M: You do! I don't remember half of the stuff I do! J: Mark, are you putting glowsticks in your mouth? *Bob laughs* M: YES I DID! I'M JUST TURNING OUT THE LIGHTS! J & B: Oh Mark, oh oh *Markidance while techno music plays*
J: Nice, if you don't see the front of it
B: Okay. M: *mating call* B: Alright, so where's the party going on over here?
Someone: Where are you, where are you, where are you?
M: Well, I'm dead. J: Mark's mouth, apparently. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) M: Who's Jack? Jack, Jack where are you?
B: -I don't have to be Goofy, M: Where are you?
J: I'm right here, I'm Sierra!
B: I don't have to be Goofy until I start helping (?) people. J: I'm jumping up and down!
M: You're Sierra? M: Ok- I'm November, you and me we're gonna go somewhere away... from them... J: very nice W: GAH AHHHH *laughter* J: Mark! *betrayal* W: OHHH M: Missed me! C'mere! (Idk what Mark is saying here srry) J: Buhh?? B: Wade, run!! M: Glehhh J: Uh- Uh- Where's the gun?? (x4) M: *Yandere Darkiplier* I wonder where it is Sierra? Now you and I can be a happy family together!! J: Mark! :( *sob* M: You don't have to be alone ever again! B: -no no no wrong wayyy M: Jack! J: such a liar!! :( M: Jack! Come back! M: scplifthhh J: *sob* M: I just wanna feel your skin against my face! B: He's standing on the gun, Jack. M: *inaudible sound* J: Kay, how bout- how bout we settle this like MEN, ok? M: Yes!! Please!! B: He's gonna throw his knife... J: (balls? idk) out- to the wall- M: Okay!! M: HGUHHH J: AHH (General noises of laughter and GAHHHs from Jack) M: I WILL MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL YOU'LL BE A GREAT WIFE FER ME M: HYUP HYUP J: You eat a big bag of dicks right now... M: ohhh.... :'( why- no! Jack! Wow! (consective ohs whoas and nos from wade and bob) J: t- too far? M: I found a hiding spot! Does anyone want to join me? M: Jack?? B: I found my own hiding spot... M: Jack?? J: Last time ya said- J: Last time ya said that ya killed us... M: We were a happy family- They were bothering us I took care of the PROBLEM .... *Yandere Mark is back* M: They were a PROOOBLEMM and I SOOLLVVEDD it... J: I'm goin to bed! B: Oh, yer goin to bed, huh? M: Oh!! Jack!! Ya want yer family, don't you?? J: That's creepy.... M: Now Jack don't screw it up this time!! I know you- J: I'm not gonna- YER gonna screw it up!! M: Well- I didn't screw, whaa? M: Well It's funny in MY mind so- Think- Think like me! :) P: Ok J: Think STUPID. M: Nooooo :( J: Don't tell me you messed up. M: I- I messed up- J: DO NOT LEAVE ME ON MY OWN AGAIN. M: ohhhhkayyy M: I messed up, I messed up J: Mark... J: Ok, J: Seriously? just- M: I'm still in the process of messing up. J: Oh god... M: Have you ever read- Jack-have you ever read P: Oop- Sorry bout M: Thank youuu THANK YOUU fer that M: I'm tryna build a helicopter here, and J: I- I read a fanfiction between me and you kissing... M: Did you? JUST kissing? (Whoa Mark) J: Yea- Yeah. J: Well, of, of COURSE it's elaborate- it's more elaborate than THAT. M: oh. Oh. Does it lead to heavy petting? J: yeh. J: Of course! J: Over theree, over thereee M: Why do YOU know that song?? J: I'VE watched too many of yer fecking videos, that's what's the problem. M: Ohh ok J: OH thanks! M: Yer welcome! I cleared all thosee fer you cuz i luvvvv u ♥♥♥ J: Yeh. Awwwhh That's the first time any one's said that... < 3 M: I dun even know what a marigold is- J: I know if ya have like aloe vera its good fer ya M: Good fer yer SKIN, not fer inside of you... J: (Irish Jack voice < 3) Well, have you eaten it? (HE SOUNDS SO IRISH HERE) M: Y-YES. I HAVE. AND IMMA COMMIT TA THIS J: NOW THAT'S A BUNCH OF BULL. M: IM READY TO COMMIT TO THIS AS LONG AS IT TAKES--I HAVE AND THEN I DIED. THAT'S HOW BAD IT WAS J: *Laugh* M: "Sleepover with everyone on the panel. Who would you cuddle?" - @nicoledonar M: Bob? B: Jack. M: That wasn't my answer! I was just "Bob." B: oh. :( B: Well, mine was Jack anyway, so it doesn't really matter. M: AW COME ON! I WANTED JACK!! B: We can all cuddle Jack.... J: *SENPAI NOTICED ME!!* B: No pressure. J: *whispering* I MIGHT CHOOSE MARK. *crowds cheering* J: His hair is the fluffiest. it's like a big pillow. J: OHHH you can't TOUCH me right now!! M: uh- i could touch you... J: Come to my name! COME TO ME! M: I'm coming to you jack!! M: ... M and J: *stuttering* J: Ye- Yeah that's fine. That doesn't sound- M: Yeah- that doesn't sound weird. No- i- it MIGHT have been misconstrued but not really. J: Yeah. As youtubers, ya say things, then five seconds later ya have to think about whatcha said, and then ya FIX it, M: It would've been worse if I had said IM COMING JACK! IM COMING!!! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) J: Yeah. Yeah- M: THAT woulda been weird. M: -and actually me- you- you and I like, tweeted at him like the same day. J: You followed me and then two days later YOU followed me. M: Yeah that was right, yeah P: Oh right. M: Cuz we were just like "hey this-" J: And then YOU got jealous. M: Did I get jealous? i think i got jealous- yeh. M and J: YES! M: Yes! J: Celticm4rk0! M: Yes! J: Heh heh every body floating away M: *half of a laugh* J: He's amazing! I luv him! M: SHUT UP I'M- yer partner in this one.... :( (Exclamations) M: I WAS GONNA DO THAT! M: CELTICM4RK0! HE STOLE MY GLORY! J: DIFFERENT Marko! M: LOOK IT- LOOK AT THIS A-HOLE!! I'M LIKE- "Yea, I got it-" -BAWWW FUCK YOUUU!! J: Actually yeah. M: I was gonna- I was gonna help- I was right- God.Im helping this too. J: *laugh* M: Gawd. J: I like how yer getting jealous- M: Why doncha just... go off and and play with Celticm4rk0 then..... M: Huh? J: *laugh* M: Why doncha just- J: *Imitating mark* Why don't you just fuckin MARRY him? M: Yeah! Why doncha do that, BROTHER? J: Markseptiplier? M: Mar- hey. People already shipped that you don't need ta do anymore to it J: Yeah like I was tryna remember the name that they said. M: Jackiplier! Nah- that sounds like masturbation. uhmm... J: Jarkseptiplier? M: Jacksepticplier... M: NO GOD! Get that way from me! No no no M: kay- you get my engines started and it's not okay P: wait- what's yer ship name again? M, J, and P: Septiplier? M: Septi- SEPTIPLIER AWAY! P: ITS REAL J: If- If this marriage is gonna work- communication is key. M: Heh. This marriage? I dunno if we put that in that we were man and wife, so- J: We're married, okay M: It's canon now. We're married. J: We can build a tree bridge?? M: A tree- what? IN BETWEEN TREE HOUSES?? J: HOLD ON A FREAKING MINUTE M: Holding on. J: Yeah.. We can build tree bridges M and J: *laughing* M: *sarcasticly* whoa whoa WAIT A MINUTE! -yeah we can do that yeah that's totally- J: *laugh* I didn't expect to like, ACTUALLY wait. M: Wh-why wouldn't I? I'm a polite guy. I wait my turn when it comes to these things. M: Whatever they may be. For my lovely wife I would wait..I guess J: Hey..hey M: What? J: I- okay. I am very pretty, so that's- M: Am I (3x) the husband? Or am I the wife? J: We should have like a man-off and see who's manlier (Both Mark & Jack chuckle) M: *MWAH* J: Owhh..Did you just-did you just kiss me? M: Yes, I just kissed you J: MWAH! SMOOCHES! ♥♥♥ J: All our videos like high energy, laughs all the time, silly fart jokes and now it's like "Feminism it's really eating apart our society today..." J: "That whole gamer-gate thing, yeah.." M: When you say it with- in your Irish accent, I really want to listen to you though. So it really does make me listen and pay attention. J: *laughs* J: *talking in Irish accent* Well you know with the whole feminism thing, sh- that's a real (2x) difficult thing to get into. M: Oh god. J:*chuckles* M: I think you right click to unweld- no, you middle click W: Uhm..behind you Mark & Jack..? *Mark & Jack talking to each others, totally ignoring Wade* W: Well..okay...So what do I do with my old gun if I bought a new one? J: *ignoring Wade* I'm gonna (2x) shoot you with my healing. M: Oh yeah? *Hubbleblee* J: *giggles* M: And then I kiss ya.*mwah* J: You got that healing touch- You do a lot of kissing at me M: I do- Of course I am. What do you think we do when- ohh..The camera's are on now..Ohhh... M: Also look around for equipment. There's a lot of extra guns just laying around here W: Can you take a gun you've already got? M: Right here. Booper Dooper, go get your body armour J: Thank you. Booper dooper W: Booperr doopeerr... M: Love youu..*mmwahhh* J: Yeah..The first- first few times you gave me smooches, it was nice? Now it's weird. M: Mwah (4x) I'm gonna aggressively kiss you now. *kissing aggressively* J: Ohh that ship has sailed soooo far. M: *imitates Jack* "Time to kick some arse." Now I can't do Jack! *silence* M: Now I can't do a Jacksepticeye impression. M: *in deep, sexy voice* The final round. J: Good god. J: *slowed down* Good god P: #SexyMark J: I'm so hard right now. M: It's not the same when you do it. K: This is so hot. P: I'm sorry. J: Deeper P: Today on "Maury's"... M: *in deeper voice* Septiplier awaay~~ *whooooos* M: God has spoken. J: You do Irish so much in your videos lately. It's like one of your go-to accents is just Irish for some reason now. B: Uhh.. @hunkcas asks us to do our best impression of each other. J: *imitates Mark* Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Killing Floor 2! J: *imitates Mark* Hello everybody. My name is Markiplier and this is MY panel. J: *imitates Mark* Hello everybody. My name is Markiplier and I'm a big goofy goober. Eherehrrhre M: *imitates Jack* Top- top- top of the morning to ya laddies! M: *imitates Jack again* Top of the morning to ya M: I'm Jack- TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES! M: Was that good? J: Noo..... M: You're not even close to being sitting on that bench. J: Have- have a seat(2x) I'm Chris Hansen M: *while chuckling* I'm not on this bench either. J: I'm inside you M: Oh gosh stop sitting on my knee. J & M : *Both saying hi to each other* M : Uhh.. well I'm gonna turn off the camera- M : -let's get some sensual music up in here M: Oh yeahh.. That's the stuff
*Sensual music playing on the background* M : Nuhh..I-I was really gonna add music in there M: Thanks for ruining the moment J: Did you hear that laugh track I added in? M: *laughs* No...But I'll add one now J: *claps* M: You don't need to do it. I'm gonna add it J:Yeah..Woohhhh M: I'm gonna add it M: God..Do you not know anything about editing? M: Fudge..! J: I'm so professional M: Jack, I'm leading them away (2x) Go Jack go! J: *shrieking*
M: *laughs* J: I got it! I'm in! J: Wooooooooooo
M: *continues laughing* M: Told you Jack (2x) J: Thank you Mark! M: You're welcome, I love you~ ♥♥♥ J: Love you too..! ♥♥♥
M: I'm gonna die now... Person in fursuit: What animal would you guys be? Baby Mark: I'm king of the squirrels! J: *sigh* Squirrel *fans cheering* J: Well you do have nice arms M: I do have nice arms, they're very veiny- M: -just not right now. But usually like when I'm in periods of high stress and I've really been cranking my fingers. M: If you know what I mean. I usually get pretty veiny in my hands J: Ookay... *embarassed chuckles*
M: What, you don't wanna talk about this more? M: I'll tell you about other places that I get veiny, Jack M: I mean as if you don't know already.
J: *blushing intensifies* M: Septiplier-
J: Septiplier away~
M: -septi- Septiplier away~~~ M: Anyway-
J: Start the game, jeez
M: No, I don't- M: If we lose this game because of you, I will never forgive you M: I will cancel my trip to Ireland to come visit you J: You- you were gonna come visit me? M: Yeah I was, but not anymore! M: You wanna do a hand hug? P: Aww nice J: We're about to have a special moment and you guys are ruining it J: You- you could have just said "I'm moving with the Cyndago guys" instead of "a bunch of dudes" M: Well- I mean it's the same description, like do I need to say anymore? J: Yeah, people wanna know
M: I almost died B: You made the bet man
M: Yeah... man J: I made it against Mark cause he took up the bet and you all like "I bet- P: I was gonna shave- J: 50 bucks to touch it J: You whore... W: I could use some help M: Uhh.. I gotta heal Jack J: Thank you
M: I'm sorryyy J: I take priority J: See? When you- when you helped me get a jet I thanked you instantly B: Jack might come save you M: No he won't. God, he won't... J: I'mma comin' buddy!! J: Oh I heard M: Did you hear? J: I- I get all the complaints from people talking about you M: Is it just like " Uhh Jack you know, Mark's- Mark's seems to be a little frustrated. You wanna like do him a solid? Give him a nice bj or something ?" J: *laughs* I'll- I'll give him a hj M: Yeah, give him a brojob, you know J: *laughs* M: I don't know- I don't know. I'mma got this P: Why are you so confident? *Public display of affection in action* P: Why don't you two fuck already? J: Stop!
M: I'm just- I'm just tryna insert my BONER into this tight space J: Ok, too far Mark, okay?
M: Ohh what- Oh oh I'm sorry (3x) W: Yeahh....you inserted it to far *Mark and Wade snicker* B: Jack can't take it J: *feels offended* How did you fucking know? W: Yeah, alright. Let's see. Jack's next. Ummm *Wade's impression of Jack* W: WAPUSSHHH! TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES! I'M- *the fans cheer and Bob laughs* W: I'M SEPTIPLIER J: I'm Septiplier? *laughs* W: WHERE'S MARK AT? J: Ok (2x) I give you that one *Jack singing about boners to the tune of the Lord of the Rings theme* M: Old McBoner had a bone M & J: Bone bone bone bone bone! B: Jack sings elegantly and then in comes Mark W: *imitating Mark* Old McBoner! J: *laughs* I wouldn't have it any other way M: Oddly enough, the same type of skin that's on your lips is the same type of skin that's on your butthole (Markiplier's random facts) *kawaii-eyed Jack laughs* M: Ohh ok B: I thought that was what you were getting at when you're doing this whole spiel B: This has been on the screen the whole time M: Oh no, I didn't see that B: Okay. I thought he was begging for this, this- you're gonna laugh, just wait. M: It's gonna be so funny B: It's gonna be awesome B: I gotta go. Umm Jack. Jack, do you have a proposal speech prepared for Mark? ♥♥♥ *crowds cheering* B: That guy's a minister too
J: Oh dear heart-throb of Youtube- *the crowds go wild* J: Ya proud of me mom? M: Why are you crying? J: Will you please share your subscribers with me for the rest of our lives-
M:*laughs* M: No (14x) W: It's ok
B: Alright M: Yeahhh J: You see what happened? I got comforted by Wade! W: And we're back J: Is your character married? ...No, he refused my proposal. *laughs* Ya could be married! J: *in a hushed tone* Go suck a dickkk M: *also in a hushed tone* Go suck Mark's dickk J: No! You rejected my proposal!
M: *laughs* J: No dick sucks for you! >:( J: My turn
M: Yeah J: I've been waiting this forever M: Yeahh I know you have
J: Fuckin- fuck Septiplier M: Yeah Septiplier is dead. I'll never be your boyfriend! M: *gets slapped* M: That was a bitch slap. Come on- come on, hit me harder
J: I don't wanna hit him too hard M: Come on, hit me hard M: *gets slapped harder this time* J: And that's like half intensity J: *hugs Mark* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry (So pure) M: It's okay, It's okay M: I didn't get a video up so when I get back from New York or if I can do it later today- M: -maybe I can get them to slap me on the ass tomorrow so- J: Ohh, don't upload tomorrow (2x)
M: Don't upload tomorrow so hopefully- M: So thanks guys-
J: Wait! *Jack's talking gibberish* M: Yeah- subscribe to Pewdiepie
J: Lotta smooches *smooch* M: Jack, it's not worth it. You have a life to live M: You can still be good..!
J: I'm just- I'm just injecting myself with sweet- J: S.. sp.... sperm M: What? *everyone laughing* M: Why did your brain go to sperm?? *mashup of Mark and Jack's outros playing* *kawaii boys appear* (Aww so cute > - <) (Jack, where are you going? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) ♥ Hugs for everyone ♥ *Dancing Markimoo and Jackaboy* *Dancing Boys*
