Scorch's PFG TV - ralphthemoviemaker

BFG television Center welcome missus gorgeous pftt you Godspeed tonight and another exciting episode dumb commentator Ralph the moviemaker all right now you're wondering what the hell this is who is scorch what the hell is pfg TV hey welcome again to another fine flying episode of scorches scorches pfg TV is actually a television show that is supposed to be in the vein of some kind of late-night talk show but it ends up being an anionic Eric Andre for those of you who like Eric Andre I like it I think it's funny but scorches pfg TV is the real deal this is not a joke this is a guy who just has no money and he's trying to cobble together this late-night talk show with terrible guests no production value and just terrible jokes I will give up beer wine champagne bread or soda but I would not give up my life earlier the chick is on oxygen and she's worried about giving up beer so she can press a button for falling down for drinking her beer I think there's like eight or nine seasons I kind of lost track because there's also like four or five iterations of the show because you know there's scorches PFT TV hey welcome to scorches PFT David then there's scorch TV welcome to another episode of scorch TV which is something else then there's scorches pfg TV version too and welcome to scorches BFG TV version too there's a lot of different like YouTube channels he broadcasts from a lot of different locations you kind of see the decline in quality of the locations early on he's like recording in a studio then he's recording in a pub then he's recording in like a meat locker it looks like [Applause] [Music] that is actually film listen to this crowd it's it's a also I just want to say I have nothing against scorch I think he I mean he might be a lovely man I don't know him personally this is just a critique of his show hey you know what if he's watching the show we don't care what you're doing you're off time just tell us about it but I also want to talk about scorch for a little bit he's also tried to have an acting career you can find his acting real you think I came to your town looking for a job you all think I came looking for a place to live no no you understand something that means I would have to ask and I don't ask for nothing I just take so what's that I take there's like some wrestling stuff of him I don't know why that son is acting really this isn't even ironically funny this is just awful I would go into that ring and become a bloody mess before I would say he says you know what I mean a lot that right there is the it's a quicker picker-upper so since you're the quicker or lessor yet I mean up yeah he sounds like he's been eating cigarettes for 10 years it's not for this last couple of minutes here I want to put this on because I love this thing and I mean limping you know I mean this is not Jerry Springer we don't pay you to cry you know I mean yeah you know I mean yeah put away if you would for the pfg TV audience the stigma that not every adult type dancer is a sleaze bag easy but it is an honor to have you as part of this division you know what I mean he has guests on like strippers we've got internationally known dancer a Lacey rain international dancer okay everyone is my show last week I've been friends with the band and I hate to do name-drop but I've been friends with the band for a long time I hate to do name-dropping and we hope there's something is it's an exclusive for the show trans-siberian Orchestra so anyway like he's best friends with the trans-siberian Orchestra he makes it sounds like the trans-siberian Orchestra is gonna like come on the show and be on the couch with him but he just went to one of their shows and recorded it live on scorches BFG TV trust me this show is gonna kick and then interviewed like two of them afterward but he doesn't want to name-drop you know as you can see the production value of scorches pfg TV is not too great not a big fan of the lighting the big overexposed lights in the background or that carpet or the black leather couch and SIB his co-host is wearing a black leather vest the band isn't on a stage or anything they're like in the corner by a bunch of pipes this is the living room we felt so genericized if you can use that word everything was so generic and sterile okay you know I mean everything was so you know I mean the TV studios run dice mind you I'm not gonna say the TV studios were nice I'm not trying to accuse them of anything but they have a remarkable way of making people uncomfortable give it up [Applause] [Music] like why is he doing that I can talk and hit on her and I can hit on her mom Trudy but your daughter's off-limits to me whatsoever right why was that a yeah moment who is that guy yelling yeah and I can hit on her mom Trudy but your daughter's off-limits to me whatsoever I think that guy is the sound effect added by scorch later on oh come on yeah Wayne's a wacky cat you never know life's hot chick speaking of which but he keeps using this yeah guy just as one of sniff your armpits because yeah I'm serious yeah but it feels like an Eric Andre thing it feels like fate 84 they didn't even shave back then I loved it man and I had to give Alicia she shaved this afternoon's fortune favors so it's goodnight or something yeah but it's there's parts where they have like three guests on the couch and like the co-host SID I can't sit on the couch so he stands like in the corner like Hannibal Buress does in Eric Andre but it's not like ironic it's like he just did it well apparently somebody broke in and stole the frickin flatscreen oh yeah yeah yeah just so the people know if you took our monitor from behind us you scumbags we need it back please if you return it there will be no questions asked what's will ask a few questions well you're gonna ask if they come on let's be honest Bob what hazards like you know what the hell made you take my TV this is in the Scorch TV iteration they have a guest on who worked with one of scorches co-hosts and then she's just like talking about Chris I used to work together years ago and cou with jr. in the morning it was a lot of fun funny funny funny man a little touchy well mr. McFeely's times I think it's a little bit of a misrepresentation it's not at all it was no it is because I think honestly if anybody was handsy when I worked there it was this one um I you know what there's a lot of reverse better than I can see but that's the kind of incredible moments that happened unscored pfg TV can you kind of demonstrate now I said no and this is the one that was disappointed see this right there there's video evidence just these extremely uncomfortable moments and interviews I'm still some stunts Oh magicians don't tell how they do it but we're gonna have to fight okay can I change mine to Debbie trust me you would want to my Debbie was it Debbie there you go hey Anthony man you know these long pauses because there's no audience I'm gonna be 30 and next September I'm 27 what do you say and they don't think anything that's going on is funny hey what is this Sean's liver tell them about more beer come on man scorch is really not good at asking questions I mean honestly what's it like to be a normal person in the end I have creepy guys like me and sybbie just a which is a big problem for like an interviewer did you ever have a fight like a really good fight with your wife yeah tell us if it's like if I don't know if I should have been actually prepared to please but if you'd into like an A to Z how many of the alphabet letters have you hit with fans that you've worked with uh but yeah so so it's not like it's not like a dick you know you're just doing it's a job to you in other words pretty much now tell us about some of them what is some of the where where is some of us now just like because I love the as somebody that's been in the band I'd like I said I have not gone nearly as far as you but I can relate what was that like just to see it all how does your family take to it you know I mean like your mom and dad like how do they it must be though but it's a great crazy isn't it are you enjoying every we step of the way or do you have hassles like you you don't really look what makes you know what makes a photographer photographer if you have a late night talk show you should be a pretty good interviewer he also always has a toothpick in his MO Scorch sells ad space on the show it's like an hour long and most of the show is just ads it's him rating off ads for Subaru for instance you gotta give it up for New England Subaru the New England subaru dealers you'll love the road you're on for I'm lucky Buddha beer lucky Buddha beer let me tell you about lucky Buddha beard for Auburn pits armpits they wanted me to tell people it is the time of the season for the outdoor gig [ __ ] I mean ever since the first time I had a lucky Buddha beer I thought the same exact thing perfect beer you put it in a cooler you cover it with ice when you get out to your location as you're digging down in the ice and you're hearing the crackling of the ice tinkling against the bottles and your hand going in the ice and you're freezing your talked us off you pull out that crisp cold refreshing lucky Buddha beer amongst everything else it has rice flakes in the beer the finest quality ingredients and the rice flakes I talked about the rice flakes a lot because I'm honest I've been a partier for a while but I've never actually heard of beer with rice flakes the lucky Buddha beer scorch is the one where he's in like the meat locker and he's interviewing people from like a Renaissance Faire or something so here's how we sell ad space on the show he has the ad readouts from companies that are usually like local car dealerships it's what makes a Subaru a Subaru Detective Agency the kind of thing you'd see on an infomercial two o'clock in the morning which is definitely not what this is at all also supporting research projects in the field of oncology ophthalmology and vascular surgery then he has a thing called a pub crawl where he displays bands names like on this crawl of texts like in the middle of the show as if like people actually are gonna read it it cost some money to be on it and it's like a two-month subscription so you're charged weekly for him because Scorch tells them that this show is hugely successful without exaggeration we probably at this point of looking at a little bit more than three-quarters of a million viewers plus what I didn't mention we're going to Texas and we're going to Florida heading into the multi-millions of viewers he says it's broadcast in like three million homes we as of this show went up into the from the low billions of homes to the upper Millions like they're 10 million homes he always talks about how it's going national going global it's being seen all over the states millions of homes man we did go through a bunch of people they're like yeah this show is really not gonna do anything well you know what those that said that that's funny but in their lives you know what they're doing nothing and what are we doing we're multiplying by millions upon millions of homes every week and this is just really the beginning because we are truly gonna be going into like into the Texas market but really it's a show that's on two o'clock in the morning he paid to be in an infomercial slot so no one is actually watching the show I mean if I said hey girls I'm doing a PFG calendar come on up yeah he lies about how successful his show is so he can scam advertisers and bands out of money he also says the bands are going to be sponsored on the pfg TV app which has hundreds of thousands of downloads apparently app at icer you could scorch SPF GDP we faded into the future we have a phone app now that as of this taping of this show has been downloaded seven hundred and forty one thousand two hundred thirty two times I really doubt that there's no way like seven hundred thousand people watch this so a study says that alcohol ads have increased 400% in the past forty years with no increase in how much people drink so it would figure out apparently either we're not listening oh we're too drunk to realize what's going up pfg TV is shot in manchester massachusetts so you really get that like Barry massachusetts accent from some of the guests play with John Lennon on the walls and bridges album and the somewhere in New York City album his name's called is Eddie bottle he keeps saying the show is live even though it clearly is it where we tape live in front of the studio audience you guys the show looks really cheap it's just bad everything sounds muffled and bad the camerawork is awful the set design oh my god I tell people that I meet more messed up people at Dunkin Donuts every morning getting my coffee than I do agree with people that I work with no you mean Krispy Kreme we're trying to get Dunkin Donuts as a sponsor first of all like I said before they're constantly changing their location every half season or so they're in a different location but like this one looks like the [ __ ] room from Twin Peaks with the red curtains in this iteration they're just in chairs it's just a bunch of amps behind them I first discovered scorches pfg TV through a radio show called Opie and Anthony they actually knew Scorch from his career in radio before he did scorches pfg TV this is probably how most people who know anything about scorches pfg TV know scorches pfg TV so that's why I bring it up since been since 87 so I'm not at that level yet yeah but this guy's making me feel good I thought I had was in a drought well i hat was in a dress he's rushing because [ __ ] joke trampled our next one will look like Anton LaVey from the Church of Satan will just babble over everyone he's holding and remove the humour ritual and it's working very well Lauren darkness remove any funny thoughts we may have your wish is granted the best co-host of scorches pfg TV is sit and joking aside you know you're growing up in the late seventies early eighties Boston was like oh my god you know and now Sibbi and I and sybbie's family become close friends and it's a very humbling thing so sippy thank you for being a friend [Applause] sip is a drummer out of the band Boston he recently passed away sadly and how about a summer and we had a summer this year Oh perfect why did scorch say you know what I mean they're even say anything he definitely has the most charisma and energy out of any of the co-hosts he gets along the most with scorch tonight I like to present sibs vids like you can tell he's really into it and now that it's fall I do miss the summer that we had you know hey can we talk about who your daughter's dating is that okay quick I don't want to bring up much what do you mean Dwayne Johnson the rock yes I won't say much how about that sippy-sip ease daughter the rock wants to be in civvies family like everybody does and sippy sippy keeps saying you're a front a cat man you're not gonna get in man it's just the way he brings it up to is very uncomfortable if we do talk about our daughters dating like why we're two minutes into the show Dwayne he's a really nice guy I mean he's the biz busiest guy in the world he's making a movie every month you know when I go out to LA which is three four times a year I get to stay at his mansion there's this guy I don't even remember his name he's just awful I think that's a good question man I have no idea what oh yeah yeah would you be starstruck at all I've already met him a couple of times yeah that's interesting there's many Mike who's like like a marijuana expert he's big into pot these are cannabis flavored I brought these for you cannabis flavored vapor cigarettes it's just so boring and dumb but by far the worst co-host on scorches pfg TV out of the many has to be the sky well did so I am assuming the girlfriend came home unexpectedly the girlfriend came home unexpectedly so rather than take his lumps Oh what this guy did was write this I don't know his name either but he is really bad ready to go to jail its cleavage Robbie with elves I get the man boobs I push him together this yeah so yeah so yeah we got like one guy laughing in the background and said the girl he picked up on Craigslist broke into his house no way 3:00 a.m. 3:00 a.m. he's just trying way too hard to sound excited and enthusiastic about what's going on since I haven't had sex since 1980 1980 part of an advertising display at a Rite Aid he's just gonna repeat everything Scorch says to ask them for a ride okay right I don't think he's a bad guy I don't think he's a creep I just think he's really really not funny there is an opening at Disney World for this I can't believe we've gone this long without talking about weird news no like this I will why do we get right into with our segment that we call weird ooh Sergei weird news is a segment within scorches pfg TV it happens pretty early on in the show it's usually like the second or first thing but she stabbed him with a marshmallow fork a pitchfork used to toast marshmallows I think that there's Triton's to toes I thought it was a stick you know I think the shave stick was good for us everything used to take the green off your stick - absolutely no need for a tribe along fourth - uh 15 15 puncture wounds later and she's now in jail for the attack ah she must have liked the first stabbing so much she just did it s'more look I don't write this crap everybody actually the point is you think I can afford writers I write this crap everybody so it is really awful on his face what is this before she threw carbolic acid because she didn't like the way he chewed with his mouth open strict sometimes Scorch doesn't play the theme song he just goes right into it with the first segment that we called weird news a look inside I don't even need to tell you what weird news is it describes itself pretty well in the opening song so props to scorch takes a lot of talent even though I think someone else made that song or whatever with our segment that we call weird news fun stories today kids sex offenders never you don't laugh at sex offenders no 57 year old Charlie price of Pittsfield Massachusetts probably watching the show right oh thanks Chucky we love you man why are you giving the thumbs-up to [ __ ] Freddie hey you know what if he's watching the show we don't care what you're doing you're off time just tell us buddy [Laughter] this guy is [ __ ] crazy he's literally an insane person who has a television show alright let's listen to some more weird news I hate to laugh at this but I'm like that the chai flies approximately 14 feet in the air he landed directly on his buttocks and he slit up a wall in Islamorada Florida that's a story for four years yeah that was weird but he got a resident talking crap and he's full of garbage and that my friends is today's installment of weird news so extra weird weird news for garbage [Music] hey guys welcome back to scorch TV get ready for raw rip an interview with Ralph's and movie maker kind of afraid to watch welcome back to scorch TV yeah I don't think scorch paises his crow or his co-hosts or anyone really it's up kids how's it going Sydney I can't believe you came back for a third shirt third show well I'm still waiting for the check yeah then you'll be back every show from here on in cuz you're gonna keep waiting is that what it takes you are correct sir and you thought the co-hosts were bad the guests managed to be even worse Terry's gonna come on every once in a while and show us an MMA move we called the MMA move of the month so what else you guys to show us what you got you brought something with you right it's not gonna be me at my student Hill it's here and I know it ain't gonna be I know it's not gonna be it's not gonna be uh now it's a scorches credit he does manage to get some big-name talent like Steve Sweeney who was in some notable films from what I gather from his interview he seems to have been tricked into being there because he's really not happy since I got that introduction that scorches P is s yo he ignores scorch the entire time just talks to Sid because he knows I mentioned earlier erectile dysfunction is such an important issue yes you know no one could be madder at me the way my career has ended up in the third floor of a freaking abandoned building in Framingham with a bald-headed host the frickin New Hampshire Sippi I'm surprised that you put the knife in me [Laughter] sad these are called feelings what's your name scorch come whatever you want man yeah anyway I take what I can get you shouldn't make fun of old people I've been very depressed if you want to know the truth why is that well I don't want to get to the cause of the depression but what I did was I went to a veterinarian the other day and the guy said where's your dog where's you I said my apartments too small it wouldn't be fair to the dog he said what so what are you doing here I said I want you to put me to sleep it's really uncomfortable to watch I love it he has a psychic medium on of course and this one this is psychic Bonnie lady's attack and today the guy you're gonna give a reading to timi tombstone from wolfbane I hope he's a crier because she actually tries to convince people that she can see their future or whatever the [ __ ] she does through a computer the message coming in to your Angels has to do with your creativity like she doesn't even show up to the studio most of the time scorch sets her up on a laptop like that [ __ ] character from Ned's Declassified the professor and she does these psychic readings through a laptop speaking of danger check out the video of this ghost hunt and some surprising results at the very end because I'm gonna tell you right now I went into it as a non-believer it's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen yeah he totally isn't buying any of that crap this my friends is a bottle of Lucky Buddha beer it's got rice flakes in it scorches is going along with it cuz he has no other options he has no other guests to come on and he has to sell these [ __ ] hats watch some of the past episodes gorgeous vfg tv.com okay I'm gonna continue I'm gonna continue weird news in one second watch the way we do this again you can watch all the past episodes at scorches BFG tv.com you know you sit down grab a drink something to smoke and you can really enjoy those shows so as I said before the show has no audience once again I gotta do this every show let's start off at first they were like 12 people who used to come to his shows as the seasons go on less and less people show up Sippi do you remember Sippy's telling people in the back to shut the hell up because he does have a loud frickin voice and it's obnoxious to it he starts putting like warnings or disclaimers and the credits that say if you're gonna show up to the show please be clean and don't smell so he probably just has like a bunch of homeless smelly people in the [ __ ] studio just eating and talking [Music] they don't laugh at his jokes they hardly applaud later on forcing his maid to touch his crotch oh that's sexual harassment while she was cleaning his mobile home but I mean who could the tone of this show is so unclear and so everything just feels uncomfortable what he's trying to do is be like the underground in the David Letterman oh we have an underground following and we're gonna we're gonna rise up and be one of the most popular shows on television we're being syndicated all over the world it's not what's happening the decline in quality of scorches pfg TV becomes clear as he starts to lose interest in the show the audience's gets smaller the segment's get more fragmented and bad there's a point where the show gets so bad that this is literally the opening [Music] [Applause] live from Fox 25 I got my house my guest here ruff the movie maker how you doing we're off the movie maker you're my I guess you sit there then it's all right Ralph you sit there the walls crash if you were gonna be what we know right now that you are in Toledo so maybe if you were gonna be something else you know then if you want to be a plumber alphabetical order don't be the list of jobs that you would like to have but somehow Scorch managed to get through all of this you've had struggles getting to this point but you never gave up because you know deep down inside you know this this there's a difference between fake confidence just saying oh I could do that knowing that somewhere inside you know damn what you probably can't and having the real feeling that yeah I can do this and it's gonna take me a while but you never gave up and that's a good thing scorch managed to cobble together a television talk show with no resources and no talent and I really commend it I think we could all learn a thing or two from Scorch he has a very good attitude a very good work ethic and even though it's not a great show or even a good show or even a bad show it is a thing that exists it scorches an a symbol of the American Dream I don't know what is we're gonna be family members real real soon [Music] that our flag was still there oh say does that star-spangled [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] this episode of scorch pfj TV is brought to you by and that's it for this installment of scourges pft TV thank you all for watching very much and uh we will see you next time [Applause] misfortunes BFG kV that's pretty good

Channel: ralphthemoviemaker

Views: 827,394

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Id: Mz6UVqqSWeA

Length: 32min 29sec (1949 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 03 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/theramennoodle]

Tss do they call him Scorch because he smokes so many cigarettes or sumthin'?

[u/[deleted]]

I know people like this in real life. eccentric people with a past in entertainment and do budget shows like this with no awareness

[u/McBandgeek015]

I still don't know what PFG stands for...