Russell Brand - 2006-05-12 - Jonathan Ross [couchtripper]

accessories one of the most exciting new names in stand-up comedy he first came to my attention and last year's Big Brothers Big Mouth have a look at this George George beginning go get him avoiding a George avert let your a Lyra let George have a little go go on sorry George well what did you want to say in response this of all of this beats brilliance is that he can explode find the words find the target and then kiss the target is just attacked and move on that is brilliant now you are our politician yeah you represent this country yeah for you to sit back and let people eat other people the house Lee Tracy is believed at the same time we all know if I cannot stand up for yourself you deserve to get torn I got it I will resort to violence this is not democracy this is our mark in the good old days the dictatorship shouts out I have got Peter Stringfellow on the phone he's welcome that was quite long and Wendy moon ground there because you've got a very distinctive look about us all it was a bit it was a bit like a dream I don't reckon that allude on the ended you me end it there's a little bit of looming involved you don't mind me saying so I deliberately time that walk John defensive there be nothing startling about it okay well I think you can't help but being a bit starts you think so you've got a startling look about you said it's a great look I'll be on the tree if I thought I could get away with that I would be there with you all right you've got a kind of what is that look how it's kind of like max wall meets Pete Doherty via Lily Savage sounds like a wonderful evening with a little bit of Keith Richards lighting for good measure um that is that a I have a stylist I delicious I did have a stylist she called Sharon's is excellent but I think I look like a Dickensian gent or perhaps an S&M Willy Wonka volunteer kit did hi why stop at Golden Tickets Jonathan weibe world of showers I don't even understand that uh do you buy your own clothes or they bought for you by the show I mean I'm assuming you go out shopping like a regular poker shuffle a but are those sounds they have eight ladies chances they are ladies chances there is a restrictive I must say well because they're not cut for gentlemen's parts no that's right as a matter of fact I have to live my life like that bit in science that lands where Buffalo Bill pop sees Gully's between his legs you know minor permanently there apply it gives me it makes me feminine side feel flourishing well that's a good thing there I think so I think so as well you know and where do you buy me the ladies jeans form you go to a regular ladies gene shop yeah I'll just go into a ladies gene shop you know Lou rounded or frequent come here to buy some retired as you don't mind trust me all right nice if they didn't know better you might be a circus lady you know like the lady of the like a bearded lady listen this is a remark designed to hurt my feelings not at all it's a good lot bearded lady I wish I look like a bearded lady you ask my wife well not a week goes by when I don't say one look more like a bearded lady I think you shouldn't work on your marriage then try incorporate this freakish behavior for no good for any of you okay it's a kind of a a rocker oh look in a way as well as no so yes there's an element of rock and roll about he ain't there and stack heels is a great look yeah it's nice thank you for being so kind so ya know a physical appearance but of course beauty is transient and one day you and I will both die Jonathan over Norfolk just lots of a though today's gonna be lovely I got a good feeling about this wind out my cells now his exciting news they zoomin big blubber is back on TV next week if you're a fan of that show then of course it's an unmissable part of your summer if you're not then no doubt drives you mad what on earth are you fiddling with mr. brain how microphones companies I was preoccupied I was worried I thought that common early bad Buffalo Bill you're trying to put it to it I thought I'll feel a little so masculine if I could just pull in the talks connected to your scarf where on the back you must watch films that give you ideas like that because I don't think your imagination could come to that you'd be amazed big Wadley factor starts on channel 4 next Thursday night and your show is the kind of it's every night on e4 straight after the shower nights on four nights a week Tuesday to Friday after the main show on channel 4 ok now I came to your show sort of accident because I used to be they they change it emotional I can see yours very deliberately I think you know what I mean though I I didn't even know it was unnecessary and I really enjoyed it and I found your style when you made it work for me it's quite a peculiar sure how would you describe it I describe it like it's like Kilroy about only talking about Big Brother and there is no racism allowed okay um just talk about the show's door this has happened within the house and build up build it up into hook blah you know but they take it too serious I bet it seems to be is it more or less the same proud of your inadvertently giving me the thing I didn't mean now my sense it let my subconscious is running wired tonight Klieman thank God my jeans of this tight you could wear me like a puppet hey wait piggy whistle I'll do my own voice I suffer the indignity of your hand at bottom please play with the speeds of people maybe maybe just on your back can we just have that instead I suppose so particularly where you should open your mouth my love life's like any low were you Russell Brand a fan a big brother before they came and offered you this shot I was not I did not watch it I was also busy doing other stuff hey so and you got the job you're watching it more or less innocently for the first time yeah I came to it nearly right and I don't enjoy it very much do you watch it I watch it I liked it I always try and resist it every year I said to myself I'm not gonna watch it this year I'm not gonna get sucked in by a bunch of let's face it normally quite sad and damaged individual I've been fortunate difficult circumstances almost to the verge of a breakdown sometimes performing unnatural acts with wine bottles in front of the nation every now and then I find myself that I've saved it on the sky Plus and I watch it again and again last year George Galloway doing robotic dancing in a leotard it's still one of the single most fighting things I've seen they would do that and then expect to be accepted back into mainstream culture game and having done it and get even more votes I can't imagine it's a solve it becomes a vote for erotica don't it if you vote for George Galloway now feline erotica what you're essentially saying is I find cats attractive sex-wise no that's not what you say that's what the respect part is it's the owatta sized feline party in a manner the ESP after a fashion you ever worry though Russell that they're pushing people a bit too far because sometimes it does concern me I think they've got people in the air and then there's someone do seem a little fragile particularly the celebrity bunch they the last time I don't worry about that because I just think is that one choice I'll just bigger she's entertaining I think you know just watch it's entertainment could you had to divorce myself from moral obligation okay I save that for my private life okay Russell's mention his private life I will are they because mine you have had quite quite a life of knew quite an extreme life yeah I have [ __ ] live and that breathing in and out for ages right would sue now are you thirty years I've been okay are you seeing to acclaim the lot into those studies is what I'm saying a lot of experience all of these trousers are like a metaphor all crammed in at the dirtiest bits tuck around the back let's start if we made them with the knees ah okay stand-up comedy yes I like doing that that's my favorite that seems for your favorite thing I've never seen you actually doing a whole Act live but I've seen some of the stuff on tape and it's [ __ ] me is being not only very funny and very inventive but also it does seem to draw quite directly on your experiences yes I feel like you know when taint dead embarrassing and humiliating happens - to me it happens all the time it's a constant incessant it's like my life is just embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about the embarrassing incidents really if I'm not here talking about them I'm out there having them episode nothing reluctantly end but this this allegory for authority tip yards oh you saw through there did you yeah it's requisite Authority ah but you know when I say you lived a life let's talk about something you know you had a drug problem for many years or did you not consider it a problem I've got a little bit of Dixie to Everman okay well that I think on most people's scale seems pretty much a problem yeah yeah trouble with every news Johnson it's a bit more --is-- once you sell honey it's very difficult why do you say I don't win like that Helen I likes to belittle it and I recommend it so no I'm not coming here to endorse Aaron for Evan sakes oh happy a terrible message not when I push my main message of tacky goonies between the eggs that's why I'm here to promote has that replace hoeing in your life do you think I think as you know yeah then the highest earner for the lows are terrible but the highs when you see it in the mirror difficult could be a lady smart I'll be like you I've done that quite recently no nothing wrong with it I might have done it this afternoon well you may off yeah after buff really awesome parties on it yeah well I don't wanna do it before a bath do I happy impractical none are Jean it wouldn't it yeah carry on in that fashion you really live local sous-chef don't we do we yeah have you seen me doing it through a window matter fact is I think how inspired to do it by you and there at night I thought it was an owl sitting outside so you can see how I made that simple mistake I wish I had the courage to tell you what that hooting was um alright but you've lived a lot oh I said you know not necessarily things that I would have thought your your particular out off sometimes and you've been arrested quite a few times I'm used to getting arrest well how many times you've been arrested you I think maybe 11 okay well that's I've never been arrested once oh it's over such a laugh for a while I'm sure it is it doesn't take it too seriously second maybe that's where you had problems in the past ah yes what was the let's deal with the lighter side of the police force uh what was the silliest thing you think you arrested I would have to say it Jonathan Ross that my daft is arrest would be this one what I'm about to speak of now from my face right is it awful this anecdote because of the first sentence to it makes people lose sympathy for me here is the first I hold on a second let me ask you not to judge too harshly I don't know what's gonna be yet so I might want to be the first - judging by the body speak this all give him a chance Thank You Jonathan mr. so the story begins thusly yes I was stealing porn for an all-night garage and they can arrest you for that this is Mitchell only and ain't it caught your hair we apprehended one was I was like looking up at the pornography and of course I was on drugs so I can't be held fully culpable for me actions I believe what I like to call my drug Brella beneath which be damned the drug of guerrilla texted me from condo what you're saying is you paid the price for that because the drugs themselves were mistake then blooming drugs yeah you really the known of me you acknowledge that now and you all know we should point out you are now are clean and sober individual free and our fee is clean well congratulations let's go back to now we PI off I that you're under the drug Weller was it called the drug Agrella the drug dweller Oh forgive me okay I was me fit shelter okay sheltering under the drug dweller Yeah right look top of that pornography and I found a stimulating because it's designed with that in mind I'm trapped the pornography I stuck it in my jacket like that to conceal it from any eventual authority figures what might want me not to have it for nothing nor nothing then I turned around and it was an officer of the law just stood there he goes you'd better put that you better put that magazine back where it's common sense yeah I took him at his word and immediately placed it back on the shelf but by now I didn't or a dynamic that was going back one way Jonathan and and that's why it was to the cells chunky I calls it right so then that right it goes up right stop looking at me for I we're looking at him and I saw that I took Mazen that seemed like a challenge to me I carried on looking awesome uh-huh how are you looking at were you looking at him in a crazed druggie kind of waited I'm looking at him like I wouldn't mind it having a bit of a cuddle many of us think they'll be done get enough cuddles I feel that and I think the police sometimes need a little bit of a cuddle and that's why I was getting some officious but he was angry about this cuddle off he would cross he said if you need to stop looking at me in that manner by the time I count to five I'm gonna arrest you so he has given you a chance here all right yeah but the conditions were very narrow it's giving you till five I think it's fair enough he could have said three well actually by three he was getting quite agitated once and that's just as my striptease well synapse that man knows nothing of the narrative of erotic belch so well done like he goes stop looking at me one and I carried a look at him and he went to I carried on looking at him II went free we that is we now this guy's in a win I love you anyway you're nicked and he all arrested me right up nice and tight with handcuffs took me in a back of his van left me in an steeply station just found a cornice there's a bear class in it I'm in like a bedroom what did you get charged with attempted theft of a magazine was what's the challenge there because it considers my behavior to be erratic and abusive so it's like abusive to a police officer and drunk and disorderly dur yeah I said I was merely offering you love officer but one thing for crime lies with you seagull up yeah if loving all humanity is a crime you better lock me up and throw away to here it might have been the smack you stole though he got to first I made eventually that was the legal loophole we got these there's always a loophole and there I are silly drugs um okay another thing I read about you is that you were a sex addict Oh blimey there's an accusation now is this you have spoken about this on stage you have described yourself in these terms no I haven't cuz I what it is Jonathon is you know Glenn girls girls your mother's then look what's not as hard to resist I like some that's all it is it's nothing more complex than that sometimes I like a bit of a cuddle wall to go out with one on a date bit of flirting but it's a lovely thing yeah I don't think there's anything more of it I like girls every such a lot but but do you like them more than he's perhaps good for you some I don't know what would be too much liking girls well standing outside your window hooting like an owl just because we're opposing riverton vagina is you know I so wish I hadn't cut my chest together as well now because I chipped you over the edge there's a winter you'll be right like birds in that I know about it I love I love women I love the look that women are the sound of women like the shape of women I like the smell of women like the feel of women yeah occasionally like the company of women as well what imagine that but you weren't married and didn't have no kids like what I am brilliant now not only do I see the method in your madness but I'm slightly depressed but have you not found someone that you'd want to spend some time with more than just the brief casual electric dynamic tension and then fulfillment of a one-night stand I like that last one all that didn't know ooh mom it'll be another verse boom is beautiful and she knows she still of a theory when she and magical she is a very beautiful man and I would have thought about the white Hine for you because you're not a short fella no she's she to lose and we could balloon together the two of us like great redwood trees and when we died it'll be like they were falling like that someone would shout timber and that would be like this the echo of our final orgasm we're back we're back to the finality of death again with Russell I get the feeling that's what color and informed just your act but most of your life yeah it does the inevitability of death John if it means we must live every moment as if it were our last you know enjoy a bit there's only one thing more inevitable than death are Phil what's that and that's when your time on that couch comes to an end ah the approaching judgment I'm going back out to the embarrassing place it's not Oh think with him or as a kind of holding pit as a mobile resting space oh I just got have a little rest Russell what a joy to have you here I've joined you on TV but you're you're funnier in the flesh than I had imagined possible so congratulations on being a very funny very talented young man so nice ladies and gentlemen mr. Russell Brand

Channel: couchtripper

Views: 366,876

Keywords: russell brand, jonathan ross, interview, 2006, george galloway

Id: qrG49-pJYuU

Length: 17min 55sec (1075 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 16 2011