Rule 1: Stop Being Pathetic | Jordan Peterson

oh you sent me the PDF yesterday yeah I read as much as I could in the last couple hours but I thought the simplicity with which you laid this out was was really kind of brilliant because basically as I said at the top you're given people 12 sort of ways to stop being pathetic I mean that's what it really struck me as so I just wanted we can hit one written from the point of someone who tried to stop being pathetic because I'm not saying look you're pathetic and I got the answers it's like no no it's like I got plenty of work to do on myself you know so yeah that's a key piece of this though right for you personally that you're not walking around going I've got I'm perfect and you know we've known as two notes ago we spent a couple hours we were talking about our own shortcomings and what we're struggling with and all that kind of stuff and yeah that's an opinion but you're open about it so few people are open about it yeah well I'm like I'm I live in some terror of making a mistake knowing full well that I'm perfectly capable of making that sort of mistake you know and so and I'm I'm not saying that I'm not saying or trying to act out the idea that I've got what would you say that I'm without error I that's just yeah no we just won't go there fair enough so this first one then again there was a simplicity to this that I loved so the first one rule number one stand up straight with your shoulders back I love that one as the first one because when I first started doing stand-up I used to see a lot of guys hunched over the mic yeah really bad posture well-known comics and I always remember thinking you got to stand up straight yeah well you've got good posture just know I guess I do so you know my and my wife is a massage therapist and she's very physiologically aware and so she's also helped me with this sort of thing but we watch people on the streets all the time people in general now have very poor posture yeah very bad for them well that's that's got to be phone related - right well yeah I think that's part of it but I also think it's something our culture doesn't attend to like you kind of have to remind your kids to stand up you know it takes a certain amount of conscious effort but yeah in that chapter I talked a lot about lobsters which I'm going to I kind of have an affinity for lobsters and because they well the short story is that when a lobster loses a fight because they're fighting all the time for dominance let's say in their hierarchies he kind of crunches down so he looks smaller when he wins a fight he stretches out looks bigger and so he's signaling to other lobsters the tele of his victories and then say so if a lobster has won a fight he's more likely to win the next fight then you would calculate from having a tally of all his previous defeats and victories and if he loses a fight then he's more likely to lose the next fight so that's that that Matthieu principle at work mm-hmm okay so you think well so what so what does that have to do with anything it's like okay part of the kicker is well that lobster runs on serotonin neurochemical and if the lobster loses the serotonin levels go down and if he wins the serotonin levels go up and when the serotonin levels go up he stretches out and he's a confident Lobster and one of the consequences of that is if a lobster loses a battle and you give him the equivalent of antidepressants then he stretches out and he'll go fight again so antidepressants work on lobsters huh right and you think well who cares it's like no no you don't get it we diverged from lobsters from an evolutionary perspective 350 million years ago and it's the same circuit it's absolutely unbelievable and that shows you how deep inside you how basic how primordial that circuit isn't you that sizing other people up and looking at where they fit in the hierarchy what with human society it's more like hierarchies of confidence than dominance per se but and like if your serotonin levels fall you get depressed you crunch forward and and the whole everything around you turns cloudy and black and and then you're inviting more oppression right and so you get into this bad loop you know and so it's really important to if you're trying to get your act together it's really important to stretch yourself out and and sit up properly because it's it's part of the psychophysiological loop that can start you on the upward curve and so it's a really important thing to take note of and like if you've been bullied say when you were a kid maybe you've moved and so it's sort of irrelevant you carrying that with you in the in the hunched shoulders and then you can't breathe properly and your voice isn't right and you invite more bullying because the predator types are always looking for people who who look like they can be intimidated and who make a nice fuss if they are you know like a nice gratifying they'll make nice gratifying sounds of suffering if you do remember right that's what a bully really wants and so that's what the first chapter is about it's like it's about hierarchy boat and it's a critique in some sense also of the idea of the patriarchy I know because the patriarchy is this dominant oppressive hierarchy that everyone's embedded in and you know the social constructionist social justice warrior postmodernist types think about that as a social construction it's like how about no that's just wrong lobsters have hierarchies that's a third of a billion years ago ok that's not a social construction it's part of being itself and if you only see a hierarchy as power and tyranny then you're looking at the world wrong like it's true that hierarchies can be tyrannical and dominant mm-hmm and and a degenerated hierarchy is nothing but tyranny but in a functional society that the hierarchy is actually the structure of the society and you're actually protected within it well then how you relate to that hierarchy is very important but that's part of personal development that's parts down and up right you know and then people in the hierarchy think oh well you're someone who could do good things for the hierarchy let's promote you yeah you know like men don't struggle for power that isn't what men do not if they're civilized they size each other up and elect the competent to lead them and they do that at every level of society like I tell a story in their boat might be later in another chapter it doesn't matter I worked in a rail crew and in southern Saskatchewan they're rough guys like a lot of them had been in prison you know and when you first came onto the rail crew you got a stupid nickname and people teased you and I remember this one kid called lunch bucket that was his nickname because he came to the rail crew with a lunch bucket that looked like his mom had packed it that was a bad idea you bring your damn lunch and kind of us you know ratty paper bag don't make too big a thing out and it's dirty and smelly it's like you're not pronouncing your status we have a Barbie blood prize exactly yes yeah so they named a blunt bucket which he wasn't very happy about yeah well that was a mistake he should have taken it with a smile and then he was always peevish and irritable and if he asked him to do something he'd whine and so like this was soon after I joined the Royal rail crew well soon was about sixty men on this crew it stretched out about a quarter of a mile down the tracks soon anonymous harasses were throwing pebbles at him during work we had hard hats on so the game was let's see if we can hit that lunch bucket in the in the hardhat with a pebble cuz I'm not anonymous yeah well because you don't know where it's coming from and then that was purposeful because he didn't couldn't take a joke it's like well let's see if he can take this joke clunk and everybody go No and then it just got more and more peevish and the pebbles got bigger and bigger and you know week later lunch bucket was gone having not learned anything from the experience but you know the men were testing him out it's like can you take a joke can you can you can you be useful can you at least be amusing even conveys there something worthwhile about you it's like no it's like okay well then you're out of here because you never know when we actually might need to depend on you it's so interesting to me because it fits fully within what you were saying about why it's important to for a father to play with a kid or why sibling my brother and I used to beat the living crap out of each other he'd win sometimes I'd win sometimes but we learned something there and now that's what yeah you I think you said it's like learning how to dance and yeah but I like that you started this with something physical because all of us can do this everyone watching this today that's struggling with whatever they extraordinaire can just work on that yeah you know whoever's watching this that is God's best given posture ever can still work on that if you happen to be hunched forward you know weightlifting is really good for that because you strengthen out your back muscles and it'll pull your shoulders back and you want that and it's really important as you get older because you look at old people you know and if they're stooped they start to calcify that way and then they start to bend down and like you know you don't want to be in situation when you're 40 yeah you know maybe you want to be enough you don't ever you don't ever bet yeah maybe 90 you know but not 40 and certainly not 20 and so you know you need to do a postural analysis and or have someone take a look at you and say well you know yeah you're kind of hunched forward and they got to be conscious about it you gotta pull back a lot open up it's also kind of a I think part of the reason it signifies dominance is because like this is a protective Crouch right and it's to stop animals to jump on your back from getting out your soft part so it's it's it's instinctual its protective right so this basically says I'm open to the world right but what it also says is I can handle being open to the world so it signifies competence and confidence yeah it's interesting because it's also a sort of vulnerable position anyway and in you know yoga or certain other stretching things Feldenkrais and things like that you would work on there yeah you would also with the mansplaining people will not be happy when they know no they're gonna see us doing this they're not gonna be happy about that well the thing about competence is acceptance of vulnerability right that's that's what competence is it's that's a deep idea yeah I mean the deepest Christian idea for example is that you should accept the vulnerability of being that's the acceptance of the crucifixion essentially it's like you know you're at the X where all the suffering takes place you're gonna whine about that you know and get resentful and bitter about it because there's reason to like let's make no mistake about it or are you gonna say bring it on I can handle it no matter what it is well maybe maybe you can't do that but that's what you're aiming for you're aiming you're aiming out being able to handle it no matter what it is and to do that voluntarily and the idea is that if you can do that you will transcend the tragedy and it's like well could that be true well most people admire tough competent people so you know it's at least a little bit true mm-hmm you know you admire the courageous so well how courageous can you get that's the question how courageous can you get well if you practice and see and it makes you want to be better I'll tell you I didn't tell you this two weeks ago but when we did that event which was spectacular at the end when all the kids were coming up to say hi to us there's a line for the two of us your line did have more people they were planning on mine too I actually felt after truly I'd was like I have to be better now this means I have to be better and I thought I felt great about it like I actually didn't feel jealous of you or whatever I was like oh he brought it and it's like I should bring it too so that well that's competition is a wonderful thing it is it is it well the thing is is that and that's the opposite of well in the story of Cain and Abel Cain kills Abel because he can't stand the fact that he's better than him that's really it it's said he knows he's better than him there's no doubt about that and and so Abel is actually his ideal because that's what it means to see someone who's better than you get jealous of that you're getting jealous of your own ideal well that's a very bad idea it's like what you should do is you should watch and you should think well there's something going on there that I haven't quite got and maybe if I watch I could figure it out it's like it's an opportunity right now it doesn't mean you got to take that guy down and in this case kill him great you got to work on yourself well that's yeah well it's an opportunity even to do that you know yeah and you also have to remember too that people have their times and you know things oscillate and sometimes you meet someone who's kind of at a pinnacle in their life in some sense and you're not that doesn't mean it's always going to stay that way that's the other thing is like even very successful people have their while they get sick and die you know we've got this fundamental limitation that equalizes us in some sense and that's also very much worth worth knowing you know it's like you don't know when you see someone successful you don't know the full tragedy of their being and so there's another chapter in there they die yeah I called compare yourself to who you were yesterday and not to who's someone else is today on that note why don't we pause for literally we'll pause for one minute yeah we'll look at the gin at least [Music]

Channel: ManOfAllCreation

Views: 1,934,465

Rating: 4.904048 out of 5

Keywords: stop being pathetic, jordan peterson pathetic, jordan peterson stop being pathetic, jordan peterson, jordan peterson stop, jordan peterson rules, jordan peterson rule, jordan peterson rules for life, 12 rules for life, rules for life, 12, rules, rule, for, life, 12 rules, for life, 12 rules for life jordan peterson, jordan peterson 12 rules for life, 12 life rules, 12 rules life, life rules, life 12 rules, life 12 for rules, jordan peterson 12, rule 12 jordan peterson

Id: Uq3Fh2eQ9Ls

Length: 13min 22sec (802 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 04 2017

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Jordan Peterson. He's a piece of shit