Roy Wood Jr. - Desegregation and Chipotle

I'm 92 years old thank you man trying to get it together man I'm trying to lose weight man I'm 37 my body's past warranty lose weight I'm closed for renovations that's what I tell women you want to go on a date nope we have to shut it down for a couple months come back in December to look nice we're gonna put in a six-pack it's gonna look nice try to lose weight lose weight is one of the most expensive things you can ever do like to eat healthy it costs money they don't tell you that $8.00 smoothie how would why it's fruit and ice in the cup how is this eight damn dollar smoothie so expensive I'm surprised rappers don't talk about him and they songs I see rappers now I ain't impressed with your jewelry I want to see you pull some Carol out in the club do that that's hot no you got money we drinkin kill some naked chick covered in soy milk is just drizzling down but I forgot the solution on my uncle you want to lose weight boy what you need you need to get you a woman that can cook you need a woman that can cook boy my uncle one time old black man he can't talk without wobbling and doing that the woman that's gonna get in that kitchen and throw down for you and to me it's not that important if a woman can cook or not at this point in time in society if you can't cook it's fine can you read let's read a cookbook let's figure it out as long as you bring something else to the table we'll get by it's fine but my uncle won't let it go my uncle little ain't nothing wrong with a woman having a job but I'm telling you when I was your age I loved coming home to a hot meal on my table yeah I bet you did love coming home to a hot meal you was dating in the 60s you couldn't eat nowhere in public [Applause] it was your only chance at a safe meal spent all day doing cardio running from white folks yes you need a nice meal at the house I don't have to live how you live we got desegregation and Chipotle it's good times for me I'm killing I noticed a lot of racial tension in this world ma'am and then that's disappoints me that we live in these times you know but I've seen I've seen glimpses of what we could be in a society I know what we're capable of so when I see black-white division I want to stay positive and knowing that sooner or later it'll all work itself out because I've seen it I went to a black History Museum I had a white tour guide I don't even think you understand how amazing that is I went to a black History Museum and it was a white dude walking us around telling me about my and he was good it's not like he was glazing over stuff but yeah you know some stuff happen here come on down look at Michael Jackson look at this stuff there's two planted his feet and the spitting of fat see if you look over here this exhibit boom boom I couldn't do nothing but like respect a man you a white dude working at a Black History Museum I respect you because I know that job interview was a [ __ ] oh my god how many extra questions did he have to answer why twerking at us if you black and old you want to work at a civil rights of Black History Museum that's easy you just walk in ain't no job interview that's me on the picture right there i'ma go take my lunch break if you white and working at a Black History Museum you know there's a scan I do it all kinds extra questions in the job interview stuff ain't got nothing to do with Black History uh we look at your application everything looks good last question at what temperature do you deep fry catfish did the bigger question though is would you even would you want a black tour guide if you went to a black History Museum why people would you want a black dude taking you around I mean it might be more authentic but you just got to know you risking some stuff cuz that brother might have a nervous breakdown near tour y'all understand a black history museum is emotionally this is this is a dark place to go and you got a black dude taking you around you might have flashbacks in the middle of the tour you just cuss out everybody is that fair to you okay everybody if you'll just look over here this next exhibit this is an 18th century plantation home and next to it that's the slave quarters and that's where you mothers kept my people get your ass out my museum it's just people crying in the lobby that's not fun it's tough times man you don't matter how you feel about race relations in this country you can't tell me something something is wrong I don't know if they doing it in Canada but in America man they got black people blocking the freeway they so frustrated and even if you don't agree with that you just got to acknowledge something is wrong if that's the the idea you've worked your way down to in the form of protests it's insane let me think about that we live we live in a world now where black people on the freeway is a legit reason for being late to work you literally if you're just walking your job tomorrow there's Negroes on the freeway I couldn't get past them was just crazy because it was all four lanes the freeway you know it was the first white person to use that as an excuse when black folks first router blocking the freeway you know his boss didn't believe I'm that dude got fired you're late again listen you're not gonna believe this but his Negroes on the freeway believe that that's not even the worst part worst part is that dude got fired and then he went to his next job and now he had to put down reason for leaving on the lay on the job application you're the jock interview you got to explain why he was late at the last job I'm noticing the paperwork kid says it uh he was late a lot at your last job you want explain to me why you believe oh you're not gonna believe what is Negroes on the freeways I'm sorry what did you say it was black people blocking in the freeway okay and how did you handle that situation well you know there's a lot of different ways I could have handled it but I figured the best thing to do was to sit there and be inconvenience and just reflect upon a society that we now live in at least people to think that that's the only option that means the system is broken hmm that's a very good point you know what you're hired welcome to the Black History Museum I gotta go man thank you [Applause]

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 1,255,599

Rating: 4.9142475 out of 5

Keywords: Just for laughs, jfl, just for laugh, just for laughs youtube, youtube just for laughs, just laughs, just laugh, juste pour rire, funny comedy, comedian, stand up, stand up youtube, standup youtube, standup, stand up comedian, stand up comedians, laugh, laughs, comedy, joke, humor, eating healthy, women cooking, black history museum, race, family, roy wood jr, roy wood jr comedy, roy wood jr comedian, roy wood jr stand up, roy wood jr standup, roy wood jr youtube, Roy Wood jr jfl

Id: HcbA-K6p-i8

Length: 7min 46sec (466 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 23 2018