Ho, ho, ho! Welcome to the Game Dungeon. It's Christmas time, so that means... ...time...for some more Christmas games... Oh, boy. I'll be level with you,
I'm really not optimistic about this, guys, but I drudged up some more,
so we'll give them a chance. First up, Christmasville. Okay, well... Actually, this looks more promising than I thought. "Ross." Okay, new game. Am I Arthur Knight, the private investigator? Why yes, I am. Okay, we're off to a bad start already,
because I don't like any of these responses. Why can't you just play it cool and ask what he wants? The client's coming to YOU for help. You're a private dick, how long do you think you're going to stay in business if you start judging everyone who walks in your door? Looks like things are on the ropes as it is: your laptop's bluescreen'd and your typewriter doesn't have any paper. You need this job, Arthur. Fine, a reply... See, he has some excuse. Fine. "Santa's missing."...great. Oh man, this is corny dialogue. Yeah, this is bad. I like how this guy looks, but I'm getting bad vibes again. "Reindeer told me to knock you out, throw you in a sack and take you straight to the North Pole." "Now, guess what's in my pocket." He says he doesn't want to have to hurt you, more bad dialogue... Okay, let's skip ahead here. Ah ha! Oh wow, they added a leaf over his crotch. I wouldn't have thought a game like this would go the extra mile on that. "Here, take this magic powder." Sure. Huh, who are those people on the side? Oh god. So THAT'S what this game is. This is a find-the-hidden-object game. No, I'm not doing this. I can't. I have limits. I'm sorry, the game's over. We're done. Okay, that went badly, but let's try again. Next up is Santa Claus in Trouble. What do we have here? Not encouraging. Okay, let's try this... No... no, this is just some platformer,
and as bare-bones as you get. There's nothing to this. You've seen the whole game. This game was designed to waste your life,
and not in a good way. When you think about your own life, and time squandered, I want you to think of Santa hopping on endless platforms collecting presents right here. You'd think this would fill the void, but it IS the void. We can't have this. So no, no, I'm done. Bye, Santa. Well, I gave Christmas games another try this year.
It went about as well as last time. Y'know, I don't HATE Christmas,
but between Christmas games, and the same damn Christmas songs heard over and over again every year, I feel like there's some force out there trying to GET me to hate Christmas. But not to fear! I think I have the antidote. I have another game I've never played before. I've always been meaning to, and I think it should be perfect for Christmas. I've only seen a few minutes of it before,
but it had a high "hookability" rating. Yeah, remember the hookability rating from the Captain Zzap episode? Well, I have Messiah. I barely know anything about it, but I do know you play a cherub sent down to Earth to perform God's will and save humanity from itself. And it's not exactly the same, but that's actually really similar to the plot of It's A Wonderful Life, and what could be more Christmas than that?! So break out the eggnog, put on a Santa cap, and I'll start it up, and we'll see if we can spread some Christmas cheer. [*intense techno-metal plays*] [*intense techno-metal plays*]
MESSIIIIIAAAAAHHHHH [Subtitles by TellyVision and Dinjoralo] [*wind blowing*] ["Bob?"] ["Yeah?"] ["I've got something for you to do today."] ["What?"] ["I want you to clean up something for me."] ["That doesn't sound like fun."] ["Actually, it should be a pretty big job."] ["Why would I wanna do that?"] ["Because I want you to...
and I think it would build character."] ["I've got enough character.
Couldn't someone else do it?"] ["I'm sending you to Earth! It's in sad shape, and I'm hoping you might... straighten it up a little."] ["I'd rather not."] ["Yeah. Enjoy your trip!"] [*Bob screaming*] And that's our intro! ["...so I'm going, "Lenny, take your mom to the hospital. If it's an emergency, take her now," and he's like - ["he's like, "Aw, don't worry about it, nonononono, she's a- she's asleep right now." Calls me up - ["two hours before the shift and makes me come on."] ["Really?"] ["Course, I gotta come in. This is the second night in a row I gotta work for that guy."] Ehh, that sucks. [*Bob screaming*]
Well, I think life is about to get much more interesting! [*Bob screaming*]
Any minute now! ["You know what else I heard?"]
["Whazat?"] ["I heard that the Father Prime has some scientist goons trying to open up a doorway to another dimension. ["Can you believe that? It's crazy, another dimension, jeez. Who do they think they are?"] Yeah, typical cop talk. ["What?
Yeah, typical cop talk. ["What??"] ["OOF!"] Happens to the best of us. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: you POSSESS people in this game! Yeah! People are gonna be having a merry Christmas whether they want to or not! ["What the hell was that?"] ["I'm... a cop. ["I'm a cop!"] That's actually how all cops feel
when they become cops. ["Do you smell something?"] [*boom*]
BLAAAH! Okay, and here is the game! It drops you right in, huh? I think this also might be the reason
I never got very far in this game. It's unclear what we should be doing. Though that's not necessarily a bad thing. [Electricity zapping]
Well, not π΅π©π’π΅ way... Anyway, we can run around and- AAAGH! AAAAAGH! Oh, it's the voice in our head guiding us. Excellent. Well, he still isn't telling us what we should be doing,
besides that we should adapt. I guess that's what we'll do! I like the city skyline,
and the cigarette bot spouting it's wisdom at us. ["Smoking is cool!"] ["Lung cancer is a myth!"] ["The surgeon general is a fool!"] Alright, time to blend in! Apparently that means we should
arm these explosives here. [*Bam!*] Yeah, I guess I should'a warned them, huh. Okay, I have to say besides not knowing what to do, the graphics are very characteristic
of games from this era. Where the blocky look and relatively low resolution textures make everything kind of surreal. I mean, what am I looking at? Obviously some sort of rocket, but what for? What is all this? I'm almost as lost as Bob is. Well, after exploring the facility,
I'm still not sure what to do, but it looks like there's a switch to hit behind the lasers. Which that panel looks like it powers. I'm going to need to blow everything up,
but I don't have a gun. I should probably possess someone who π©π’π΄ a gun. Oh, and speaking of which, I skipped this earlier, But you occasionally get message prompts
on how to play the game. Uh... Okay, huh... Turns out that didn't record on-screen, for some reason. Here, look, there it is.
Proof I'm not imagining this. But anyway, the game tells you that you can pick up ammo for your gun. Except you don't have a weapon yet,
so you can't pick up the ammo yet. This is just a blowtorch I have in my hand,
it doesn't use ammo. That really nails the vibe of this game. Stopping you in your tracks
to explain something you can't do yet. Anyway, the game as a button to de-possess someone, But if you do that in public, everyone freaks out and you're dead within seconds. "You call yourself the Messiah?" Not really. I'm not sure even Bob does.
We saw how he was drafted for this. Okay, so I have to be sneaky about this. I'll leave this guy over here, and... ["Hey! C'mere!"] Damn it, he's chasing me! Okay, I'll leave this guy WAY over here,
and sneak up and possess this guy. Uhh... How do I possess? There's not a key for it in the options. Okay, I admit, I was winging this,
thinking I could skip the manual... ...No. No, I can't. Ahh, it says I have to fly at them at chest height.
Then I can possess, okay. And speaking of options, I noticed
a couple interesting parts First, is Fear Factory music on or off? In case for some reason, you wanted to play this game and π―π°π΅ listen to Fear Factory. So yeah, obviously that option's a little silly. Another one that some people may not know what this means is "ELSA Compatible Mode". Yeah, 2000.... Right around that time is when the
ELSA Relevator 3D glasses came out. Something I was an early adopter of, and gave me my first taste of being able to experience
game worlds in actual stereoscopic 3D. Something I've been trying to get back to ever since. Now games didn't need specific support for it back then, but sometimes you could have render errors,
so they were obviously trying to cater to that. Virtual reality now is definitely better
than the Revelator glasses, But I don't think you can run π΅π©πͺπ΄ game
in stereoscopic in VR! So there's that! Unfortunately, I may be the only one left
who still wants to do that. But I'm getting off course.
Back to possession. Now that I have a gun, we can get this party started! [*Explosions*] Waaah! Aaaaaah! "You call yourself the Messiah?" Yeah, that's something that becomes apparent
fast in this game. Damage is semi-realistic. So you take a couple shots, that's it, you're done for. Time to find a new body, Bob. Bob himself is defenseless, although if you press fire,
he tries in his own way. ["Bang!"] [*Phew*] Huh. Maybe Bob's a fan of the movie "Real Men". ["Bang!"]
["Ungh!"] ["Bang!"]
["Gah!"] ["Bang!"] So this time, let's body-hop
until I'm the last man standing. Oh yeah, it's worth mentioning
I'm playing this on Easy. And I take no shame in saying so. I'm not particularly good at stealth games,
and this game has stealth in it. Now, I'm decent at π’π€π΅πΆπ’π stealth,
but that's a completely different animal. Anyway, on Easy, one notable difference is
you can possess an enemy from any angle. Yeah, I'm gonna need that. Okay, hit a switch, that... probably did something. And here we are in, uh... A dead end. I do like the ad for the latest flamethrower for sale. It looks like it's pretty effective. Moving on, I can't press this button as a cop. I guess it's scientist possession time. But that means I need to ditch the cop elsewhere. I haven't found a good way to do this, yet. It seems like a coin toss
if the host will notice me as I'm leaving the body. Since despite doing a backflip out of 'em, I swear they turn towards me as soon as I leave, sometimes. But with the cop gone, π―π°πΈ let's possess the scientist and press some buttons. ["What in the hell just happened? ["Why isn't Thompson at navigation? ["Security! Fire Thompson!"] I have no idea what I'm doing. ["Control, please initiate braking sequence. ["Control? Braking sequence! ["Control?! Oh, SHIT!!"] Alright, it looks like I took out
a good chunk of a space station? This possessed guy is probably
going to be in a lot of trouble, later. Well, time to head through decontamination, even though this doesn't look like a medical facility
or a clean room at all. AAGH! AAAAAAGH!! Another update from the voice in our head! The local dictator is Father Prime,
and we need to stop him. "The people of this world are misdirected
by years of oppression." "You must help them, despite themselves." See? Again, that's pretty close to what
Clarence the Angel was doing in "It's a Wonderful Life"! For all we know, this game's an unofficial sequel! Well, this is definitely my kind of Christmas. Despite the graphics obviously being dated,
they're still trying. I love gigantic sci-fi looking tech architecture like this. For my taste, you can't have too much
of this sort of thing. I don't know what it is, but... that's okay. Here we can pick up a machine gun,
although we don't want to do that as a scientist. The cop is very not cool with seeing that. ["You're not cleared for weapons!"] And really, that makes sense. This guy did work relating to a space station, apparently. If you worked at NASA and came into work
holding an uzi, that wouldn't go down well either. Thankfully, unarmed personnel
won't attack you if they see you. They're just sort of stunned by what they're seeing. So let's possess the cop so he can't shoot us. Now in other games, this would be a dead end, but since we're not bound by much, we'll just head over the railing here and see where it goes. I guess we're done with this body. Yeah, maiming cops isn't really in the Christmas spirit, but you SAW the Christmas alternatives. We're sticking with Messiah. From here, I'm in... some chamber with steam, and it's just general platforming challenges, and I see this, and I can't help but think of a feeling I've had for the longest time about many games. Okay, our mission is to stop Father Prime, right? Well, he's the dictator, so he's probably in the city capitol, surrounded by security, so what the hell are we doing here? I mean, I get it - it's a game, so by following one room after another, it will eventually take us to our goal, but the reality of that happening would be incredibly low. This would be like if you were an assassin trying to take out a dictator, so you start off at the local smelting plant or ship-building factory and start hopping around in the restricted areas, and that eventually will lead you straight to him. No! That would never work! You wouldn't even be in the same part of the CITY. Whatever this is, it's in the industrial sector; governments aren't zoned in the middle of those. And this is a really common theme in games - hundreds are like that. Now, I'm not saying that's a BAD thing, it works and adds variety to the environments, but it's the sort of thing I think gamers may take for granted, even though it just doesn't make any sense. So keeping up with the confusion, I solve the platforming puzzle to immediately possess a radiation worker. Sure, I guess we're in a power plant now. I dunno. It's also worth pointing out- WHOA! Oh, lucky! Yeah, stay up there. Yeah, I was gonna say: notice how the yellow hologram is now ethereal, and we can pass right through it? Even though earlier, the yellow hologram thing was solid, as was the green hologram thing? Oh, and it was quick, so maybe you missed it, but look at the help prompt here. "The battery grabber is the most common tool used by the radiation worker. "It allows him to carry the Energy Battery Cell (EBC)." Okay, why do I need an Energy Battery Cell? This is what I mean. That's how you know you're in the future, guys: when even the EXPLANATION doesn't answer you questions. The door's locked. Alright, I can activate this console, but the door's still locked. I cannot activate the big tongue button here. Hmm. These games leave you disoriented. I guess I'll see if there are more buttons to hit while trying not to fall off. Yeah, considering how the floor is NOT solid here, if this was a real work site, it might be the most unsafe one ever, that's still pretending to be a place to work. Okay, this console lit up. I guess we have to butt in and do peoples' jobs for them, whatever that job is. Again, a lot of games of this era have this particular combination of fidelity, where everything feels a little hazy in my mind. When you combine that with fantasy or science fiction, it just gets even more out there. Oh, look at THAT! I thought the door still wasn't open even with the power on! The door lights were red UNTIL I got closer to them, just to throw you off a little more! The vibe I get here reminds me a lot of Soul Reaver, or Shadow Man, where you KIND OF know what you're looking at, but the fidelity still leaves a lot to the imagination, and the whole thing feels almost like a dream sequence. Messiah is definitely dishing that out, too. I can't say I like that feeling, but at the same time I'm fascinated by it. The first Star Trek movie does that to me also. It's not my favorite, but I can't look away. That movie's a trip. So back to the game; here we are at another mystery area! I guess this is cooling? And this may not be obvious to modern viewers, but I bet you these are some state-of-the-art water effects, and if anything, this game is SHOWING OFF with those ripples, and speaking of graphics, I remember reading a while back how this game was the first to include... some sort of technique related to the level of detail, or LOD? This MIGHT have been the first game to have dynamic LOD scaling. I'm not sure on that. What that means is, the number of polygons per character is constantly being adjusted on the fly. So the farther away they are, the less detail they have as a way of keeping the frame rate high. I remember the article saying the difference was imperceivable, but I don't know. I'm seeing the difference, though I'm probably at a higher resolution now... ...though you could take a lot of games to 1600x1200 back then, so I dunno. From here, this is the real meat of the game: finding the right person for the job. See, the guards won't let a radiation worker through, but they WILL let the welder in, but then the console needs a commander to operate it. She looks like a commander... ...and now we can operate it. ["Uh- Commander! I've been hailing! ["We have Chot activity in sector 2. Gather your men and report there immediately!"] "Chot activity in sector 2." Sure, sounds like the place to be. I AM a little annoyed though that I can't order these guards to come with me. I mean, that's the whole point of being a commander: to command. Yeah, yeah. Dismissed. Hey! Now those are some more pretty cool effects for 2000. AHHHHHHHHHH! And more exposition! The Chots are mutants living underground-turned cannibals, but they're our allies because they hate cops too. They're basically the mutant underclass from Warhammer 40k, so let's go say hi. NOW I can open this door from the beginning! This game likes to loop you around a bunch. Oh damn... Ahh! AGH! "You call yourself the messiah?" Okay, let's go guns blazing. *berserker rage* Yeaaahh, you can't really aim. It's just sort of an auto-lock thing. That makes this all worse. It doesn't matter. Dead. Try again. Dead. "You call yourself the messiah?" Alright, let's try running back for help, because god forbid a commander order the troops in as an escort. Okay, the cops don't notice. That's nice. Let's try again... Alright, I made it. THAT got their attention. OH, but the door shuts, and they must have seen me swap, because there's always that delay when you possess somebody where you can't do anything, and naturally, I'M the bigger threat than the mutants storming the base! Dammit! Well, the game actually does have a first person mode for firing that I forgot about, which is way more effective. Although, then I can't move forward or backward - that just messes up the controls - but I CAN strafe. But that only gets me in the front door, because then THIS guy rails me. Dead. Yeah, I was kind of surprised to see this. He has some sort of spear gun that will nail you to the wall. It doesn't always work right, but that's impressive seeing this year, since that got popularized later in Painkiller, and... Half-Life 2, and... FEAR. But hey, props for pulling this off before all those, with no ragdoll physics, but what's killing me is this AI. Okay, first, it doesn't matter if this happens out of sight. If I possess the mutant, and then walk in, they try to gun me down. They just KNOW I'm someone else. Great. But look at this! Captain One-Shot here follows me as I hide behind a crate! You see him adjusting his aim as I move? What if I go here? He should still aim at that location, right? Or at least scan generally? No! He follows me with X-ray vision through the cover! I hate this crap! Well, after MANY attempts, I finally take him out, but then it starts raining down more guys, and again, they ALREADY KNOW I'm someone else. I can't win with this AI. Ugh. From here, we head to Old Town. Yeah, this looks like an old town, right? Or at least an old part of the city, and not just more totally abstract tech-walls? Turn-of-the-century game design, guys. After an awkward turret section, I head into a puzzle room and we get an update on the story. Apparently Father Prime is harvesting LOADS of bodies for... some reason, which is upsetting the mutants because now there aren't enough people to eat. Future world problems. It's very cryptic what I should be doing here, so as usual, the answer is "whatever I possibly can." Shimmy over here, duck under there, hit this button... Shit. Wait, maybe not that one. Oh, and another perfect example of this game's design: when you walk in here, you hear that nonstop chainsaw idling the entire time. So you'd think that would be important, right? No. There are no enemies that will hurt you whatsoever in this room, nor is there any use of this thing that I can discern. It's totally pointless. It's rubbing the completely pointless stuff in your face! In fact, the solution to the puzzle is for you to exit your body, and fly out of here. You can't take the chainsaw with you even if you want to. This also forces me to master the absolute brink of what's possible with my wings. It requires some very precise movements that aren't intuitive at all. Ahh...! Ahhhh...!!! Augh.... Now normally, I like to just play the game and get involved, and not think about saving my game unless there's a big event coming up, but this game is a throwback. I have been saving for dear life, because there are so many sequences I don't even want to THINK about repeating if I screw up. Well, this is one of them; more flying puzzles. After that is yet another example of this game's design. I'm descending into another room with a bunch of cops, but they don't see me because I'm up above, so I'm thinking "Oh good! I'll land in the back here, and possess this guy, "and OH MY GOD, AN INTRUDER! KILL KILL KILL!" I'm really not a big fan of stealth games, guys. This is typically how they go for me. Moving on, we can possess ANY living thing... ["Blehhhh! I hate rats!"] Rats are God's creatures TOO, Bob! So you'd better get used to them! In you go. More blurry sewage with...bodies and...acid? I mean it, guys; this is like a dream. Next it's onto the streets, and THANK GOD the other mutants don't attack me on principle this time. It's been a while now since everyone didn't immediately open fire on me. I never know what the AI is gonna do. And here is where I finally get stuck; the game has a perpetual street war going between the cops and the mutants. If you try to advance, they immediately respawn, so that says to me that the game DOESN'T want me going that way. This is one of the few times I approve of infinite spawning, because it's a deterent - as it should be. But if I go back here, there's just lasers blocking me. So, what do I do? Well, there's a door there, and a lift up to it here, but it doesn't have any power. So, I probably either need to turn on the power, or fly up there and bypass it. Well, MAYBE I could fly up to that streetlamp, then position myself up there, then glide across, but that's a long glide. That may not be doable. Plus, as soon as I exit my body, everyone will open fire on me. So, I have to HOPE, they're all distracted by the street war, and I have very little faith the AI won't just murder me instead. Now, the power switch is probably in the cops' territory, but they'll murder you so fast once you advance. Plus, none of this screams "switch" to me. It's all a bunch of random shapes and sci-fi textures to me. I feel like this is either a no-win scenario, or else it's going to be such a giant pain in the ass. I don't want to reload my game ANOTHER fifty times trying to figure it out! That's it, I'm looking for a walkthrough. Okay, here's one. He's in the street...what's he doing? OHHHHH! The mutants can FLY?! The game said NOTHING about that! Nothing at all! I wouldn't have thought to try that! In fact, I don't think I've ever seen a gun that lets you fly. Yeah, he can float around like he's Mary Poppins! Okay, so that's how it is. Now you might be saying, "Look, Ross! You can see them using it when they drop down." Well, one: that was sort of in the background, I didn't even think about it, and two: I've seen a lot of games where dudes just fall in from the sky to come fight you. Video games have trained me to accept that as just a thing that happens when you're on an adventure. It just goes to show: you're not always aware of your biases. Well, let's hop these lasers then, that's easier. Clear out the cop, and UH-OH, they know who I am! ["Be on the lookout for a humanoid, measuring two-and-a-half feet in height, ["with wing-like protrusions from its back. The suspect is in violation of the following codes..."] I guess this IS the sort of society that would have surveillance everywhere. According to the law here, my existence is a legal offense. Better keep my cover! Okay, so there's the lift power. So now... oh wait, how do I get back out? Oh, for cryin' out loud: is the game going to make me exit this body to fly over this, so all the mutants can gun me down as soon as I go out onto the street? This game is SUCH a slog with this crap! This switch doesn't turn off the lasers... ...and look! They even give me access to better weapons here! Why would they do that if I have to abandon them before I can even use them?! THE LASERS WILL- Oh. OHHHHHH. They're ONE-WAY lasers. Alright. Alright, game. Whatever. On we go. Ah-ha! More exposition! Father Prime is conducting forbidden experiments on the dark side of the moon. Okay. And more random tech stuff... I really like it in games, when you feel like you're DEEP inside the world you're exploring, and this area definitely gives me that feeling. Ah! See, this game keeps you guessing. I would not have expected a shower scene in the middle of this industrial complex with pipes everywhere, and a pool of acid, but - here we are! That must be a commander, right? Yep, it's a commander. Let's go. Now, here's something I was slow to figure out, but I did eventually: I just possessed a commander, so I walk out to join my fellow commanders, and OH MY GOD, it's him! Shoot him! How did they know? I was in a separate room! HOW DID THEY KNOW? Well, it turns out I was in a fighting pose, which is the default for a lot of your possessions. See? Ready to fight. And, casual. I can't tell you how many people just seemed to attack me for no reason because of that. Turns out there WAS a reason. And yes: allies will STILL sometimes attack you for no reason. And speaking of no reason, we have another laser security gate which...just leads to a hole in the wall? Anyway, the news is on, and it looks like Father Prime's dimensional experiments are panning out. ["The pan-dimensional experiments - made possible by funds from the Father's lottery program - ["have met with great success. Just 48 hours ago, our scientists tore into the very fabric ["of the time-space continuum and retrieved their first specimen, and a magnificent specimen it is. ["This gigantic winged, living beast was eventually subdued, and is being held on outpost 6. ["The obese, sentient individual - weighing in at more than 5 tons - refers to himself only as "The Dark Lord." ["All questions pertaining to his origin have been met with increasing resistance."] Oh, okay. So it looks like you captured Satan. Yeah, we'll see how that works out for 'em. Moving on, it's an ad for the lottery! ["Win! Leasure time!"] ["Win! Clean air!"] ["Win! The will to live!"] Yeah, just in case you weren't sure if this was a dystopia or not. From here, I- whoops! Ambush! I'm just a commander who can't command anyone, I can't fend off this many guys! Well, if I hop from body to body... Agh...I still need a commander to open the door! Hey guys, can I borrow- oh, right. So, what I was SUPPOSED to do, or rather, what the game thinks I should be doing, is to enable this console here to summon the "offense bot," that will auto-attack anyone near me. Right on. So let's show these mutants what's up! Uhhhh...it doesn't seem to be doing much. They're shooting me! Defend me, bot! DEFEND ME! AAAAAGH!! Okay, maybe I was too aggressive. Let's try it from way back here. I'll hide and let the bot do its thing. Yeah, it's going on its own now. Wait, what? They're ignoring the bot and coming straight for me! This thing's a peashooter! And how'd they know where I am?! Defend me, bot! DEFEND ME!!! I honestly can't tell if this was just a flawed execution of the game design, or if they're just trolling me, or what? I mean, this is hardly the first time this sort of thing has happened by now. Anyway, sacrificing myself to the mutants, then running back in AS the mutant, to run out as the commander and trying not to die - which is NOT easy - is all I can figure out. I wanna say that half my solutions to these puzzles are very sloppy. They feel like they're not what I was supposed to do, even though they were? Usually, that's rare in games; whereas, I'm getting that feeling in this one maybe more than any other I've played? At least that I remember. And behold: the thriving cityscape of Faktur! (yeah, that's the name of it.) This is kind of awesome, in its own way. I like the hovering thing broadcasting a punk rock music video or something. Someone clearly had a vision here, but the technology kind of wasn't up to the task, so, the whole thing is just trippy. Again, it's like that entity in the Star Trek movie. What was all that? Yeah, I know what the movie says it was but really, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE. Oh, and nice gun ad with a nun. Yeah, I can see why God thought, maybe he needs to step in and get a little more proactive with humanity here. That got me curious: what was the last mention of an angel coming down to Earth to take care of things? Well, from some quick research, the Bible mentions angels watching over the tomb of Jesus and comforting Mary, so I guess that's what we'll go with. It's probably been a while, in any event. Well, Bob is sure doing something, even though it's not clear what, and since the game's blocked my path, the only thing left to do is to mount this turret gun here. That causes the local airship to check in on us, which triggers a turret-shooting section. The visuals on this are awful: the gun keeps getting in my face, rotating left and right also causes you to MOVE left and right, it's really stiff moving it up and down...it's as bad as it looks. So, I blow up everything across the street, I guess, and that causes the forcefield to drop. Videogames! After a hard segment I reloaded MANY times, there are more corridors, street wars, abstract sci-fi architecture, and just a lot more of saving and reloading in general. Seriously, this game is instilling a sense of paranoia in me! I haven't had to save and reload THIS MANY TIMES in years! ["Who gives a freakin' shit about a baby, anyway?"] Huh. Yeah, good point! I imagine the cops aren't thrilled about having a manhunt for me when there's mutants to be shooting instead. I'm just wandering aimlessly, again. I mean, the level design either takes you in complete circles, or else steers you towards someplace you haven't been yet. Well, that leads me to the sewers, and in all honesty, this portion looks a little more forgiving than what I've been dealing with so far. I mean yeah, it's jumping puzzles, but compared to the stealth... good god. Though, it might be taking me back in a circle again, because- OH, THAT IS SO CHEAP! DAMNIT! Now's not a bad time to mention the music: most of the game doesn't have any, but the sewers, for example, it's this mild, yet quite trippy ambience playing... [*trippy industrial ambience*] ...and when you get into fights, it's Fear Factory. [*thrash metal*] [*thrash metal*]
That's pretty much it. So, uh...yeah! Nothing to complain about! Ah ha! This is the BIG mutant. Is he gonna tear his head off? He's gonna tear his head off, isn't he. No! He didn't. I honestly don't know how to handle this. I'm obviously supposed to possess him, but he's surrounded by mutant dwarves. They're going to see me possess him and attack him immediately, plus, my host is bound to spin around and look at me as soon as I leave his body. Yeah, it's a mess. He starts shooting me, and even though I can kill him easily, that's still more damage. And now the dwarves are attacking me, and despite being a hulk, it turns out hulks take a lot of damage from bullets too. I mean, you'd think this would be a fun scene where you're almost invincible, but no! If anything, this is more of a liability than pretending to be an ally of the guards! And here is yet another example of this game's design: I make it to the end of this corridor with the hulk, but the door is jammed so I can't go further. If I crawl underneath the opening, the guards immediately see me and start shooting me on the other side. What a WARM WELCOME to where I'm supposed to go! I feel like this game's design has no finesse at all! I mean, the problem is that this doesn't play like a stealth game; this plays more like real life. A lot of stealth games are hard, but they're actually very forgiving, with cones of sight, a grace period before the guard isn't sure if they spotted you; real life doesn't work like that. If a real guard sees almost any movement or hears your footsteps, that's it. They'll probably find you almost immediately. THAT'S Messiah. ["GRENADE!"] Yeah, AI. Don't mind me, I'm just shooting a cop over here. Actually, that's fine. I'm fine with this AI. ["Welcome to the Behemoth Genetic Engineering facility." ["Sound levels must be kept below three decibels at all times in proximity to gestating behemoths." ["Premature awakening and self-awareness triggered by ambient noise is a direct Code 4 violation." ["Remember, protect our behemoth workers. They are the backbone of our society."] "Keep things below three decibels for the genetic behemoths," huh? What, like this? [*alarms*] [*behemoth roaring*] [*behemoth roaring*]
Yep, there's one. Well, I'm sure this guy will be useful somehow. Ooh, a cutscene! ["GET AWAY!"] Hey, it's Father Prime! [*behemoth roaring*] [*Father Prime laughs*] And he's a WIZARD! [*behemoth screaming*] [*Father Prime moaning*] [*Father Prime moaning*]
And no more Father Prime! We...won! Oh wait, now it's Satan, and he telekinetically snaps my neck. Then I get a direct transmission from him, and while the animation is nice, I can barely understand him. [*grunting and snorting*] It's the usual Satan stuff: he's going to take over the world, cast doubt about God, emphasizes you're expendible, and so on. Oh look! It's God! ["Dad?"] ["Yes?"] ["How am I doing?"] ["Oh, fine. ["I think this has been a good experience for you. ["But I don't see there's any hope for this race."] ["Dad, Satan is down here!"] ["Yeah, so I see!"] ["Well, what're we gonna do about it?"] ["Oh, nothing, Bob.
You know, he can have Earth if he wants it so bad."] ["What're you talking about?
You can't just abandon everybody!"] ["Of course I can! ["Look around, the place is too far gone
for me to bother with."] ["But I kinda like it here! It's pretty exciting, ya know."] It πͺπ΄ exciting.
["Yeah, I'm glad, Bob, but it's time to come home now."] ["Yeah, I'm glad, Bob, but it's time to come home now."] ["No way! I'm staying!"] ["Hah! Don't be silly, come on now."] ["I'm gonna put my foot up Satan's ass!
That's what I'm gonna do!"] ["Bob... Come on back home, right NOW."] ["Yeah, okay... I'll catch up to you soon!"] ["BOB!!"]
["Later, Creator!"] That's pretty good, Bob. Well, this is a plot twist. This puts us in a thorny situation theologically, too. God's telling you to come back home, but Bob wants to save humanity from Satan. So, is it better to obey God, or do what's right? You'd think those two wouldn't be at odds. I will say, God certainly seems to have an easy come, easy go attitude about this. Well, we'll leave that one for the philosophers to figure out. Actually, since this is such a plot point, now's a good time to reveal more of the story in exactly the same way I found out about it: by reading the rest of the manual mid-way through the game. In the manual, humanity has proven the existence of Heaven and Hell beyond a doubt, so now we're looking to conquer them. We're starting with Hell, since we think that should be easier, and if we're successful, that should put us in a better position to conquer Heaven, too. That's... ambitious of us. Oh, and under the manual credits, there are references to some Bible passages. I didn't look up all of them, but I had to check Fear Factory. Isaiah 30:32 - Pretty good. What about Jesper Kyd? Daniel 3:15 - Okay, that's hardcore. Good thing I like the music! But back to the game, it turns out the voice in your head was Satan all along! I guess the moral to this story is: if you're having bad migraine headaches and are hearing voices, you shouldn't accept what the voices are saying at face value. The next part is more maneuvering through cops and workers, but it's sort of a mild hell, since it's SO easy for it to go wrong and be detected. I mean it's doable, but again: it's sloppy and it's a slog. I still have no idea what I'm doing, which means apparently I'm setting the local nuclear power plant into overload, and fleeing to open another door. From here, it's a LOT of corridor wandering, and a LOT of hopping around oversized industrial machinery. Again, this is a completely normal thing in gaming, but going back and seeing it now, just gives me an odd feeling the longer I'm down here. When I think about what's in the darkest recesses of my unconscious mind, I think it's a lot of stuff like this. So really, we're looking at my unconscious. Well, mine is probably more colorful and has weirder stuff, but we're getting there. I will say though, I don't mind the dated graphics at all. Game budgets nowadays are through the roof, and that's probably not going away, but I'm wondering how much you could chop that down if you kept the graphic fidelity at THIS level, and delivered on your vision in every other way. Very few games try that, and yeah, I guess it would be a niche thing, instead of blockbuster sales, but I'd still be interested. Although, Minecraft isn't exactly bleeding edge graphics, and it sold 175 million copies at the time of this video, so, uh... there's that. Oh, and here's a minor glitch for you. I'm running this in widescreen, but the game wasn't designed for that, so I'm pretty sure that's why the sidewalls here are disappearing. Gotta cull those polygons, keep the framerate up! It turns out there was a purpose to this after all: we finally find A CAR. So now, we can actually head to our intended destination! The escape sequence is interesting. And I thought this was gonna end with a 90's-style double replay of our daring jump, but we have not one - NOT two - not THREE - NOT FOUR - but FIVE. SHOTS. of the same jump. Well, that's understandable; with effects like these, you've gotta show them off. Unfortunately, Bob's not a very good driver, so we crash...uh, somewhere. Ah, this is the red light district. The game actually opens up here, with multiple places to go through, though it's a false choice...I think. Let's head to the club. ["Who's your daddy? Pimp daddy. Pimp Daddy Priiiiime."] ["Who's your daddy? Pimp daddy-"] Pimp Daddy Prime! I think this is the closest we're gonna get to Santa Claus in this game, guys. Well, we can't get into the VIP lounge; I guess we need to upgrade our host. Hmm, she looks like someone who would be let into a VIP lounge. Nope. Still no good. See, that's the problem with trying to make sense of the future from my 21st-century perspective - I can't tell who are the club girls and who are just outright prostitutes. Huh. Looks like Satan is running for office. ["...succeeding the honorable Father Prime after his sudden, unannounced resignation, ["a new, dynamic personality has picked up where he left off." ["This message brought to you by our ambivalent leader: Father Darkness."] The media seems to have no trouble transitioning into hailing Satan as the new leader quite smoothly. I guess they stick to what they know. Well, it turns out to get into the club, we have to go after the big cheese himself: Pimp Daddy Prime. We sneak into his headquarters and grab him. ["Sucka say, you wanna say?"] Say sucka, what YOU say? Nice art. Well, he has a personal elevator straight to the VIP lounge, but naturally, that's not enough. Even though he could own this club for all we know, the game has to wheel us around more of the industrial cityscape again first. We're far enough in now, that I have to say I do have one real disappointment from this game. Now, you might think it's the gameplay, but no. While I'm generally not liking a lot of it, particularly the stealth, I can tell they were TRYING to make something good. It just didn't quite work. I can't be upset at them for trying to make it good! No, what bothers me is: I feel like we're really seeing the full potential of possession here. Bob is an agent of chaos like no other. We need more reactions from others around you, when you possess a host and just go nuts. I mean, when your colleague, who you've worked with for years, suddenly gets a glazed look in his eyes, then pulls out his gun and just runs off in a random direction - people should react to that more. "Joey, are you okay?" "Fred, what are you doing? What are you aiming at?" The game barely touches on that, whereas that's the ENTIRE highlight of possession for me. This game doesn't really capture the feeling of utter fear and confusion, of seeing people you know around you go insane - and, I really would have liked to have seen that! Or maybe some more dialog from Bob! He's barely said anything. I want to hear him say "Uh oh!" when you blow away someone with a shotgun, or watch him ask others for directions. The possibilities there are endless, and they didn't really use them. Well, we make it to the club and it's probably what you were expecting, but what you maybe DIDN'T expect is: we need to possess a dancer in order to make an entrance on the disco floor. Merry Christmas, everyone. ["AAAAARE YOOOOOOU READYYYYY?!"] Yeah, the game throws a dance-timing minigame at us now. Because...well, again, somebody had a vision. If you win the contest, that somehow leads to some military annex, where you can possess the armored behemoths, which are STILL quite vulnerable, I should add, and this all comes together to teleport you to a research lab on the dark side of the moon. Here, everything's gone to hell - kind of literally. Satan broke free, big surprise, and he liquidated the staff in order to harvest their blood, which he needs a steady supply of in order to maintain existence in the corporeal realm. Now, I got kind of stuck again, so I thought I had to ride this machine to the next area, because the game has been making me do stuff like that this whole time. No. I just have to press this button here, even though I thought I did that. Now we teleport again, and here it is: the final confrontation against Satan. Ooooooh! Uh oh, looks like Earth is having some Z-buffer problems there! [*evil threats*] It's still hard to hear what's he saying, and I have to wonder if this is the same Satan from Apocalyptica. Now, the game tried to explain what's happening here: that apparently, the light effects when you possess somebody harms Satan, so you have to unpossess them in front of them to hurt him. So naturally, he's completely shielded and has his evil cherubs to stop you. This boss fight is just pain. Cops and workers will spill out of these portals and I have to go around and press these switches to lower his shield. Except his cherubs immediately go for the cops and gun me down at every opportunity. You know how some boss fights are hard, but fun? This just feels awful. It feels like running around in a courtyard while snipers are shooting at you. Now, you can possess the cops to defend yourself temporarily, because you can't kill them, but then you can't press the switches! And when I do press a switch, it turns red, even though I have to do it four times. Okay, but in the midst of dying, and dying some more, I lose track of which buttons I've pressed. Well, that wouldn't be a huge issue, except now they've gone back to green. Oh my god, did the cherubs possess the workers and turn them BACK ON?! I'm never going to finish this! This is Apocalyptica all over again! And what's more is, I can't turn them back on! Look at this: I'm hitting the use key over and over, and the worker's just piddling around! NOTHING'S HAPPENING! I should have listened to God and gone back to Heaven! He was trying to spare me from all this! Well, through some Christmas miracle, I managed to get through this part. I think what happened was, I DID turn off the switches permanently, but the game made it LOOK like they were still on afterwards. Otherwise, I had no hope. NONE. Well, with the shields down, Satan comes for me, and this is definitely easier than the first phase, but I can't let my guard down. If he gets close to you, he'll punch you, and then- Oh no, I can't get out! He's stun-locking me! I'm scrambling to get away from him, but he punches me again before I have the chance to move! This is like a cheap move from a fighting game! I mean, I shouldn't be surprised Satan fights dirty, but... Agh, this is awful! Well, thanks to the power of being able to reload and get out of this... Seriously, I have seven saves from this fight alone. It's so bad. ...Satan is banished. Which causes the facility to blow up, because...uh.... Anyway, Bob heads out the way he came in! [*Bob screaming*] [*oof*] [*augh*] And he's still on the moon. I'd question how he's breathing, since he's still in mortal form, but I guess Father Prime terraformed the place, since those workers were breathing too. ["Hello?] Uh ohhhh! ["Dad?"] ["I'm done now, I'm ready to go home."] Looks like God hung up the phone, Bob. Oh, and I have to comment on this music. This music is great, but it's not end credits music. [*relaxing heavy synth*] This is more like middle-of-the-game, solving-a-puzzle music. And, that's it! That's the game! Dammit, how many games have we had on the show now where we defeat Satan, yet it still feels unsatisfying? Why does this keep happening? Okay, awards! First award: Punk Approved. That was an unexpected bonus. I didn't know I was going into a cyberpunk world, on top of doing God's will. My kind of Christmas. Second award: Y2K To The Core. Everything about this reflects the trends of games at the time. A game like this is never gonna be made again. Oh sure, we could see a new INTENTIONALLY retro game, or something with similar themes, but we're never going to have gameplay like this. This game was pioneering things: some of it panned out, some of it didn't. Oh and check it out: we have Aural 3D and EAX as options in the menu, too. Between that, ELSA mode, and hardware transform and lighting switches, this could actually be the most dated options menu I've seen. And the final award: Try Again. This game was not a mistake, but it just didn't quite hit the mark. In fact, I kind of like everything about the game EXCEPT the gameplay. A sequel with a bigger budget and more refined gameplay could be a home run. Alternately, I kind of enjoyed my blurry journey through City Faktur, and it actually made me nostalgic for more games that have that kind of surreal feel to them. Improvements in graphics isn't always an objectively good thing. I think there's something to be said for games that look half recognizable and half not, that give you something you don't get from super high-definition everything. I mean, well-defined graphics are nice, but they don't leave you walking away like you just experienced some sort of dream, which I still feel like, even as I say this. That's the episode! Have a merry Christmas, and I guess we'll find out if God's abandoned us or not! [music] Oh, yeah. I never needed that Energy Battery Cell. So....
I always saw this game around and oddly had this idea it was like a top down management game. Had no idea it was actually a stealth game
Gotta agree with Ross here, a lot of the games from this era really give off a fever dream vibe, even more so if you played them as a kid back in the day. It is especially true for some of the PC games at the time; weird nonsensical keybindings, little quality control and inevitable launch issues definitely added to the "experience". I also usually got the pirate versions of the games with weird and bad translations and a lot of the content being cut to fit on those "3-in-1 on one disc" CDs. ~2000-2008 was the peak of this era where I live. You never knew whether the game is just weird or there is some chunk of story that was cut by the pirates so they could sell more. Makes me think how we take a lot in gaming for granted lol.
I remember how Fear Factory suddenly got everywhere at that time. Their music was in Carmageddon, Test Drive 5 and Mortal Kombat movie. And later appeared in Messiah.
I vaguely remember Molyneux-level hype for this game coming from the developers and then the end result being just about as bad as it looks here.
This was one weird game at the time. Clunky as hell controls were inexcusable with the likes of Quake Arena releasing around the same time though. The game felt gimmicky to me, lost interest just playing the demo that came with a PC Zone magazine.
The hype was pretty big in some magazines though.
Will check out the video later but I have some experience with this game. I installed this game it it screwed up by computers audio, there was no audio playing when I played a video file or YouTube. Tinkering with the sound settings didn't fix it, but as soon as I uninstalled this game everything worked fine. Was willing to play it a bit more to get a feel for it but not after that.
I played it way back when it was released. I could swear there was a way to command troopers around as a commander (was it just mentioned in the handbook?).
That is the best setting for a game I have ever seen, were the devs on acid coming up with it or what?
The version he's playing doesn't seem to have the full soundtrack.
The game came on two disks, the first was game data and like 3 of the songs and the second was a standard audio CD with the rest of the soundtrack. To get the full soundtrack you had to install the game, open the game with disk 1 in then switch to disk 2 on the main menu. You could run the game without disk 2 but you ended up with the soundtrack he has.
I'm guessing this is the GOG version and they couldn't get the soundtrack working without mounting a fake CD drive with disk 2 or something.
I really enjoyed it at the time but I was a cheating bastard most of the time and played it with invincibility on, haha. Was more fun as a power trip. I did manage to get through it at least once tho, i'm pretty sure the AI wasn't as attentive as that and it's the result of running it on a modern machine or something.
He missed out on a few things that could have helped him tho, you can do stealth kills which he never seemed to work out and you can do instant kill head/knee shots in 1st person which help a lot during big shoot outs. A lot of the time you can do them pretty easily by standing around a corner in 1st person and picking people off and possessing people then jumping off a ledge to break their legs is useful. You can pick up the radioactive battery as the nuclear worker and instant kill everyone when you work around with it too.