“Hurry up, Briggsy, shake a leg! Get a move on!” “No-no-no-no, a-ah!” A few weeks ago, a game called "Hunt Down the Freeman" was released. To put it bluntly: it's abysmal. There are feature-length videos talking about
how bad it is. On top of that, it was using assets that appear to be stolen from other games and mods. I saw some people calling this the biggest scam in gaming, but I remembered a story very similar to this one, and not too long ago, actually. Imagine a game that stole at least 10 times as much stuff, but got a physical release. Well, it's here. It's actually right here on my desk. "Highly enjoyable."
"I was immersed within the first few minutes." I've never heard of any of these websites! But I do agree that it is a highly enjoyable game. As you can tell from the title, this isn't just going to be a review this time. It's gonna be a little different. So in the spirit of "Hunt Down the Freeman", I'd like to share a game that's so bad it's good, but also so much more. We've got a lot to cover, so let's get started. "Forget reality. Surrender to your darkest dreams..." This is maybe the best advice we'll get in the whole game. When you start it up, you get a cutscene of someone falling through fire, and... it's from the movie "Spawn". I don't mean "they ripped it off", I mean they literally took this scene from the movie "Spawn", and they just made it their intro. The only thing different they did was putting a border around it. And the border itself? Taken from a "World of Warcraft" wallpaper. The game hasn't begun and there are already two lawsuits waiting to happen. This came out in 2008. This wasn't, you know, Wild West Internet. I'm not gonna play the whole intro, but there are only three people listed in the credits, and that's probably why. Also, I have no clue what anyone's saying or what's happening. Give a listen to the audio mixing: [the voice is quiet and drowned in loud music]
DESTINY: “Why, it’s a mortal. A lone warrior.” [the voice becomes barely audible]
FATE: “And the dead do not welcome presence of the living…” This will come up again later, but even if you could hear them, it wouldn't make a difference. Finally, we get to the prologue, featuring a vaguely adjusted "Battle for Middle-Earth" loading screen. Then... it begins. [scratching sound of steps] [*sniff-sniff*] [tip] [tip] [toe] ARACH: "A-ah! So you are awake! Good, good, good..." ARACH: "A-ah! So you are awake! Good, good, good..."
BRIGGS: *frightened gasps* ARACH: "No, no, no... do not be fearful of me." ARACH "I am to help, not to hurt. I am friend!" Where do you even start with something like this? Well, first of all, the style of cutscene may be familiar to some people. I couldn't understand what it was until later. It's a spiritual successor to the CD-i "Zelda" cutscenes. It has all the ingredients. LINK: "Oh, boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!" [Arach is moaning while pulling a worm out of his ear] Arach doesn't tell you about your backstory or why you're there, but he tells you to stay away from the Dark Ones. Well, I guess he tells the main character, Briggs, because you, the player, are a character. ARACH: “Yes, yes, look! There, on the other side!” BRIGGS: "Whoa! Whoa..." When you finally get to playing, it seems like any typical adventure game. "Limbo of the Lost" is entirely in 2D, which is... awkward. At best, the Briggs' model just seems out of place compared to everything else. At its worst, the game just doesn't know how to handle him. A lot of the backgrounds look jagged and awful, and in theory, this could be fixed with anti-aliasing. I tried setting it up to maximum, and as far as I can tell, it doesn't do anything. Oh right, like I just said, this is a 2D game. So that's a screenshot. Why have the option? That is incredible. Sometimes, character sprites will double over each other in different positions. The art style can change every other room. Basically, the visuals are a mess on a technical and artistic level. Some people play adventure games to explore aesthetically pleasing worlds, and this isn't one of those. "Limbo of the Lost" keeps you entertained by being half-freakshow and half-scavenger hunt. For example, the first room you're in. Stolen from "Return to Castle Wolfenstein". The entire beginning of the game is. I'm not gonna show all of it, cuz it would take forever. Just seeing what's stolen is fun, but there's so much more. For example, here's going up a set of stairs. [faint otherworldly moaning] That's never explained, it just happens. That's the story for this game: "things happen". BRIGGS: “Who are you?” CRANNY: “Oh, Faggot’s the name, and cooking’s me’game, hah-hah!” That's not a joke. The character's name is Cranny Faggot, and we're still in the prologue. BLACKHAWK: “Go… away. Blackhawk trust… no one. Blackhawk only trust birds.” I hope you can understand why this is beyond the regular video format. This is going to be a house tour/history lesson of an insane asylum. I'm not gonna show all the good parts, but I'm gonna break some things down, show some stolen stuff, and show how it doesn't work. “Join us now!” [predatory snarl and weird, cough-like attack cry] If you've seen some of my other videos, you'll know that I'm no stranger to sound issues in games. However, "Limbo of the Lost" has a unique one that I haven't seen anywhere else. There are no audio options. Not even volume control. Fair enough, I can just lower it in the volume mixer. This works for a little bit. Whoa what happened?! The sound level just jumped back up! Whenever you change a room, your volume spikes back up to your default. I've never seen something like this. I can only guess it's running some kind of check every time it loads a new room and then sets your audio up. (whispering) SHHHH!! Grunger... The big technical issue is that the game is prone to crashing. It SEEMS to be random, but right here, I can swear that Briggs crashes the game. [*knock-knock-knock*] [the sound stops immediately] Well, there's your port report, PC Master Race... Luckily you can load from the splash screen. Or... anywhere else in the game. If the conversation is going too long, and you're worried about crashing, you could just pause the game and save in the middle of it. So the crashing isn't AS big of a deal as it should be. By the way, check out the menu. The unpause button being "Back To Hell" is pretty funny, but look at the gargoyle. I won't run out of these anytime soon. It's good that the technical issues are for the most part weird and not game-destroying. Having a "so bad it's good" game is much harder than a "so bad it's good" movie. With something like "The Room", you just pop it in and watch Tommy do his thing. This is why "good bad" games are hard to find. A bad game is like having Tommy Wiseau make the movie... but also the DVD it's carried on. And the DVD player... I've seen some people say that "Hunt Down The Freeman" is a "so bad it's good" game, but it's really not. If you're spending more time lost or feeling frustrated than laughing at the works of a madman, it's just not a "good bad" game. I don't think games that are designed to be broken, like "Goat Simulator", should count for the category, but I'm not the expert. There's just something special about seeing someone's... ...different brain working at full capacity on a passion. "Limbo of the Lost" started development sometime in the early 90's, so nearly 20 years went into this. So the fact that it's functional and relatively hassle-free in a modern system is a blessing. So now I'm gonna show you how the game is played. The interface is very simple. You can right-click anywhere in the game world to open up a Ouija Board. On an object, you can "sense" it, "look" at it, "take" it, or "perform an action" on it. In reality, you'll only be using three of these and not "sense" because it's useless. It's your sense of smell, but most things in the game you can't smell. BRIGGS: “No sense, no feeling.” 99% of objects in the game will say that. When it comes to inventory, you just mouse to the top of the screen to access it, and you can use your actions on these items as well. For example, if you have a letter you could use the "look" command and then read it. Wait a minute... Well, I guess Cranny Faggot likes "a drop of the hard stuff"... But the menu... Aah! Let me know if you see anything that I miss. Anyway, some of the letters only open main menu options. You won't get all the letters until about the last 10 seconds of the game. Since you also click to move around as well, you don't need your keyboard for any of this. So the controls are fine, and the UI is passable, except for two flaws. That compass is always spinning. You might be saying: "So what? It's spinning around." Well, just wait. When the levels will start turning into a maze, this is going to get into your head. To give it credit, it will stop moving when you mouse over an exit, but it might not always stop in the exact right place. Like right here it stops moving for a moment, but I click there, and I can't move off it. Ets... Nope, that didn't do it... Oh my God! C'mah... Finally, there we go! Hmm. Interesting piece. I saw those skulls just everywhere. Well, once again, it's more "Diablo". And a shield of all things! BRIGGS: “Hmm, interesting…” Naturally, you expect bad adventure game logic for the puzzles. And don't worry, those are there! It just takes it farther into "crazy person logic". So now I'm gonna go through the game chapter by chapter and show things I thought were interesting. Not all of them, in case you want to play it yourself, but enough to give you an idea of what to expect. “Oh! I say, we have a visitor! How lovely!” BRIGGS: “Whoah! What the…?!" “Oh, sorry, I forgot…” “Hang on. Do not be afraid.” [*slurp*] “Is that better?” VAN DARKHOLME: "Dungeon Master." The prologue is brief, but it serves as a perfect introduction to the game. Your main goal is to steal a key from a jailor known as Grunger [ˈɡrʌŋɡə] (or Grunger [ˈɡrʌn(d)ʒə], depending on who you’re talking to) and escape the level. To get the key, you need to make a sleeping potion and knock him out, and snatch it from his neck. Except, he’s already asleep. Huh… What’s interesting is how they were able to weave the stolen backgrounds together into something consistent. Like I said before, the very beginning is from “Wolfenstein”, but the later parts of the prologue are from a different game. An Xbox hack-n-slash, called “Enclave” [ˈɛnkleɪv], or “Enclave” [ˈʌnkleɪv], depending on where you’re from. This is what you would go out and rent before the “Souls” games were invented. Back in the day, we just called it “Swede Souls”. You know, because “Starbreeze” is Swedish. Man, this reminds me of the good stuff… Anyhow, I went on a sightseeing tour in some games to find the locations. A lot of the “Limbo of the Lost” backgrounds are really zoomed in, or have the colors adjusted, but it’s not enough to hide it, especially if someone’s looking for it. However, “Enclave” is integrated into the game a little bit differently than the others, in one area. In the prologue, you meet a trapped character who’s hanging in a suspended cage, and he doesn’t shut up. It’s a joke that goes on way too long, but I like the skeleton in the background. You need to collapse the cage, so you can grab his arm and then throw it into the sleeping potion you’re making. You go to the room above the cages, and see the two ropes suspending them. There’s a huge lever in the room, but it does nothing when you try to action it. Plus, I can see that these ropes are attached to a gate. Meanwhile, I found the same room in “Enclave”. They did try to hide this a little bit more, by flipping the screen around. Good hustle. So, you pull the lever and it raises the gate. The one you can clearly see. In “Limbo of the Lost”, you have to be Captain Kleptomaniac to put together a torch and then burn down the rope. “Oh, no-no-no, a-a-ah! Ow-ow-ow-ow!” "Ow, my shoulder!"
[sound of the cage crashing down] BRIGGS: “Uh-oh…” “…this is Terra Firma!” Meanwhile, no, you can’t slash the ropes. Maybe they thought that the puzzles were too similar, so made their own torch puzzle to differentiate from it? But in that case, why leave the lever there? Did they not have anybody who could Photoshop it out? I haven’t gotten there yet, but it’s not even the most blatant plagiarism. Not even close. So, what came first: the torch or the lever? Was the puzzle based around the stolen level, or did the puzzle come first, and they just made the level fit into it somehow? Well, I think I have the answer… Remember when I said it was in development for nearly 20 years? Well, they released a demo in 1995, for the Amiga 32. The 88th issue of the “Amiga Computing” magazine only had some images of it. But the 11th issue of a magazine, called “Amiga CD 32 Gamer” had a demo. As far as I can tell, issue 11 is lost to time. But the demo isn’t. Time to fire up the emulator! BRIGGS: “What a stink! And before you say it: it isn’t me.” [Bzt... Bzzt] [pk] [pk] [pk] Man, gaming used to be so much better back in the day… “Forget reality. Surrender to your darkest dreams…” They kept the same line. [dramatic thunder strike] Wow, it will have "hoards of monsters". I’ve got to admit, this game looks a lot nicer than the one they released. [*knock-knock-knock*] BRIGGS: “Stuck? Try logic.” The Amiga version is actually more of a pain, because you have to cycle through more options with the mouse, by right-clicking. BRIGGS: “It’s a locked door.” What makes it unbearable is that if you don’t do something for 7 seconds, he stops the game. BRIGGS: “Hello?” This is also a timed demo, so I don’t wanna have to keep restarting it. It’s REALLY reminding me of CD-i “Zelda” now… But wouldn’t you know it: it’s the exact same first puzzle. Grabbing the torch, combining it with human fat and lighting it in the cauldron. The exact same thing. CRANNY: “Na-ah! This brew’s designed to chew, not spew!” BRIGGS: “What a weirdo…” This demo is going to have some more importance, but I’m gonna put it aside for now. The demo proves that, on some level, there was an original game being made. So it wasn’t a complete sham of grabbing things from other games and designing it around that. That being said, there are stolen elements that are just lazy. For example: all the signs are using the “Lord of the Rings” font. Why not use a font that doesn’t need a license? It’s a shame, because the elements that are original are genuinely bizarre and funny. BRIGGS: (gasping) “What the…?! Phew…” So, how bad do the puzzles get? The sleep potion is not that far-fetched, except you also need the jailer’s snot to complete it. Plus, you get your first taste of “crazy person logic”. Cranny’s potion calls for liquor, so you’d think you could find some liquor somewhere, but you can’t. You fill a jar with water, combine it with the worm, and then you have tequila. That’s dumb, but only a taste of what’s to come. “I’m back from the sewer water. Here’s your booze, Madam Faggot.” You wake up the jailor to give him the potion that puts him back to sleep, and then grab his key. You’re done. “Grub’s up!” GRUNGER: “E-e-errgh! My favorite!” [*chomp-chomp-chomp*] GRUNGER: "Eh-hehehahah-e-ehh..." [*crash*] Chapter complete. The tutorial. I’d usually be in the middle by now, but everything’s all messed up in this video. And so begins Chapter One… KEEPER: “I, young man, am the Keeper of Lost Souls.” KEEPER: “You have done well to get this far.” BRIGGS: “What is this place?” KEEPER: “To some, this is home. To others, it is a half-way house between their world and the next.” KEEPER: “This is the Keep of Lost Souls.” BRIGGS: “So, tell me, am I dead?” [frightening snarl] BRIGGS: (gasping) “What the…?!” KEEPER: “HERE, LET ME GIVE YOU THIS.” [calmed huffing] KEEPER: “Sorry about that. Don’t know what came over me.” We are off to an excellent start. This is when the levels start to open up and the true madness begins. There are a bunch of coffins you could grab items from, but several of them are red herrings, and they don’t do anything. There are also three items, two of which you need to complete stuff, but you can only hold one at a time. One gift to rule them all. Some of the investigating is odd, and lacks visual cues. I used “take” on an empty eye socket, and I get a glass eye out of it. Why not just… have an eyeball there? Chapter One’s beginning is all about teaching you not to trust what you can see. Like crossing this bridge that has rotting planks that are breaking apart. All the items I collected didn’t help me out. But here’s the answer: you go to the entrance of the level and pick up an entire coffin lid. Now you could use it on the bridge to cross. That… doesn’t look safe to me. Your perspective really gets thrown off in this level. Not long after, you find what looks like a satanic dog bowl. “Fluffy”. Oh, don’t tell me… I was really expecting the dog from “Harry Potter”. Or maybe the model from the game. [angered snarl] [angered snarl]
BRIGGS: “Hey, are you asleep?” Oh my God, they did it! BRIGGS: A-a-a-ahh!! [vicious roaring] Alright, I… I see it. [roaring continues] Stop... [roaring goes on] Actually, they are three separate dogs, so, it’s not a complete rip-off. But then why only show one dog bowl in the cutscene? The world may never know… To keep the dogs distracted, you have to put a bone in each of their bowls. For every bone you put in, a gate opens up. This room is a three-door hub to the rest of the level, so, ideally, you want all the doors opened at once. The only place you can get a bone is from the first room. But you can only carry one at a time… It’s about a minute trek each way, and there’s no special event or challenge – it’s just a waste of your time. As for the level itself, it’s interesting in that it’s not only plagiarizing, but also recycling plagiarized material. It’s mainly “Painkiller”. The Catacomb level, to be exact. All they did here was slightly angle the screenshots they took, and sometimes slapped some signs around. “Dead man’s drop”, “Dead man’s curve”, “Dead man’s gorge”. I wish I was dead… I wouldn’t call it a maze, because there’s only so many directions you can go, but it is annoying. Like any average adventure game, some stuff you can figure out on your own, but others are just deranged. BRIGGS: “Oh, thank you, Blackhawk, but… Really, there’s no need for…” BLACKHAWK: “Shh… No “buts”. Now, go.” BRIGGS: “Do you know what? Every gift tells a story…” I would be really excited to see Briggs in the new “Smash”. While there are more elaborate puzzles to choose from, there’s a really simple one that shows “madman logic”. Or maybe “4-year-old logic”. Eventually, you’ll need a soul of a warrior to get past a statue that’s drunk and sounds like Predator. You need to switch the real green soul bottle with a decoy that you make yourself. So you fill up an identical looking bottle with water (that’s a good start), but what do you mix it with? You use a bag of saffron. Now, saffron spice is typically more red-colored. The color “saffron” is named after the tips of the flowers that make the spice. So, assuming it IS a bag of the spice, it would be more red-colored, but we can pretend that it’s all golden saffron tips. So, you combine the yellow saffron with the water, and you get… green? Because water is blue and saffron is yellow, and blue + yellow = green? Water isn’t paint. At least, not in my part of the country yet. [a muffled voice from the stone coffin can be heard] The first level also has the first of three hidden items. You can only see it if you aim for the left of the stairwell here. It’s not horrible, but a little too out of the way. Rest assured, each of these will be worse than the last. ARACH: “Ahh! My favorite!” ARACH: "Eeerrrr... eh-eh..." ARACH: “Here! You must take! In exchange for gift!” I think that’s enough of Chapter One. Like I said before, I’m only giving you a taste of what’s in store. The Sewers. What’s really incredible is how little you learn by talking to so many people. We’re now two chapters in, and we only know that we’re a Chosen One and that we’re stuck in Limbo. The story offers just about zero intrigue. Like anything “so bad that’s good”, you just keep playing to see what happens. It’s still might be best to play this game in bursts. The ambient audio never stops looping. But this one sound byte is the worst: “Join us! Join us! Join us now!” It’s roughly every two minutes. It’s also a stolen sound effect from the Hammer Haunts in “Thief”. [muffled grunting] The Sewer/Swamp level has the most plagiarized things I could recognize without looking stuff up. The first screen, once you pass into the sewer, is from “Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines”. Most of the gross sewers seems to be the Hollywood sewers. There’s an entire room, filled with “Morrowind” items. There’s a set of Orcish armor and a bunch of weapon models they just retextured. This won’t be the last we see of “The Elder Scrolls” games. Not even close. There’s also this Greek helmet in the corner I thought was from Google Images. After looking around, it turned out to be the Duskdeep helm from “Diablo 2”. Incredibly, I don’t think this is the most blatant plagiarism in the game yet. That won’t be until next chapter. Chapter Two does have one of my favorite stolen assets: the flute. Not the instrument itself, but the song. [Briggs plays "Indiana Jones" theme] Okay, they had a little “Indiana Jones” tune, so what? Well, it’s more than you think… [Serious Sam whistles the "Indiana Jones" theme] They didn’t bother to whistle the tune themselves, but instead took an Easter egg from “Serious Sam”. That is impressive. As for the game, it’s very similar to Chapter One. Once again, there are three main doors, except this time you can only open one at a time. Innovative! The puzzles themselves are becoming more cruel – both, narratively and mechanically. Can you see the important item in this room? It’s not this panel. Not this jar. Not the glowing picture on the wall. It’s a piece of wood on the back desk. You can only click in about two pixels of it, so you can mouse right over it and miss it. This is the second worst hidden object in the game. As for narrative, at one point Briggs sneaks up on an old man and then puts an iron bear trap over his eyes. That’s seems a bit excessive, so, why would he do that? To take his pen and ink. Reality is slipping… “Cor! Look, me’lovelies, there’s some lovely filth right here!” “Oohh, who are you? Go on, clear off!” Oh, neat, Thor’s hammer! [bonk] [hissing steam eruption] Logic is running on empty in Chapter Two. So, now we’re gonna move on to the only real plot- and character-driven level in the game – Chapter Three. BRIGGS: “Where the hell am I…?” Why is the music double-overlaying? Darkmere! “…very, very, worried about you, and I am a little bit worried myself” “about being worried about your friend being worried about you, being worried about this,” “and I want you to take it, so I don’t have to worry no more!” BRIGGS: “Thank you, but who…?” [the creature roars, then disappears with thundering racket and echoes of sinister laughter] [a girl gasps] [the girl screams] “Soul Taker! Soul Taker!” Her audio is way better than the main character’s. What’s ha… What? Darkmere is the first time you can learn more about the inhabitants and where you are. It’s… refreshing. After doing random tasks with very little story drive, it’s nice to have some narrative. Briggs has been accused of being a monster, called The Soul Taker. You’re imprisoned in a very familiar-looking cell, but it’s not for long – you find your way out. [pretty unrealistic rattling] MAYOR: “It seems we have done you a great injustice, my good fellow.” The mayor appoints you as detective, so now you need to interview people, gather clues and find the real Soul Taker. You even have a little “L.A. Noire” clue book. “Why is the snow not cold?” That’s a good start! And so begins the most unbelievable plagiarism in the game… ["Oblivion" town theme playing] You CANNOT be serious… Nearly every single interior is ripped out of “Oblivion”. It’s not remotely subtle! They copy floorplans entirely! The “Shivering Isles” expansion had come out just a year before! This could have been on the same shelf as “Oblivion”! People were actively playing this game! How could they think no one would notice? It’s mind-blowing! There’s no other way to put it… Out of all the things that people might miss, you took entire levels from a popular AAA game that was still on shelves... Even then, they still managed to screw up the background. I still play modded “Oblivion” from time to time, so I could go right down to the “First Edition” bookstore. Here he is behind the counter, and here’s the back view. You enter the building from the wrong side. The register facing the clerk, the books facing outwards – it’s all mixed up. They couldn’t even get the chair completely out of the shot. This feels like having an out-of-body experience. The fact that living human beings thought they could do this and make money off of it, without getting in trouble, is mindboggling. Now would be a good time to bring up the fire. Since they just screenshotted the level, they needed to animate the torches. All the fire in the game uses fire.gif. They downloaded a fire gif, put it on the “Oblivion” screenshot – level completed! It wasn’t even the first time in the game they took “Oblivion” assets, but Darkmere is chock-full of them. It’s unreal… Literally “Unreal”. “Unreal Tournament 2004”. Except, they were taking and editing user maps. So, they took all these measures to change the map from some map maker, but not the major studio game, owned by ZeniMax? "...I mean. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha..." [laughter shifts to violent coughing] [it goes on for a while] [...o-oh, oh dear...] I can never return to “First Edition”… [dramatic thunder strike] So, what is there to see in Cyrodiil? There are several interesting characters. I might not be able to talk about them for long, but what’s there is really good. Much like the real “Oblivion” however, it’s held back by the amount of voice actors they had. Much of the Darkmere’s population is voiced by one guy, pitching his voice up and down, or making funny voices. MAYOR: “It seems we have done you a great injustice, my good fellow. My dear friend and trusted advisor, O’Negus here…” “Ehh… Can I help you, Miss?” BRIGGS: “Eh, actually, it’s Mister, not Miss.” “Eh? What? You can’t be my sister. I haven’t even got a sister!” BRIGGS: “Mister. I’m a man.” “For an age it seems that this has been going on. One after another they disappear: souls taken…” There are two actors with better equipment, but they have their own issues. Sometimes, you can hear the click of someone starting to record in the background. “My pleasure, Mister Detective. Now, you sure nothing takes your fancy before you go?” “Detective… I… I say, Detective… we’ve found another one!” BRIGGS: “Can you hear me?” Well, eh… at least he died peacefully… BRIGGS: “Can you help me find the Soul Taker?” “Mon Dieu! Sil vous plait, monsieur, do not say those two words within this house. Shadows may seek even this place!” [demonic gurgling] Phah-hah, what is this game?! BRIGGS: “Hey, come on. Give her a chance at least…” Wha-ht? Detective Briggs is a mix of both, the best and the worst the game has to offer. Exploring the town and finding clues are more engaging than all the other chapters. At least, until you hit a wall. Unlike the previous levels, Darkmere is EXPANSIVE. They even give you a map that lets you teleport around town, it’s so big. Now, this is great for a while, but then the game starts trying to trick you. When you and your deputy find another victim of the Soul Taker, sometimes you’ll automatically pick up his items. This saves hassle at first, but it doesn’t always work this way. Sometimes, a cutscene will end, and the game will automatically have you leave the area. But you don’t wanna leave – you wanna go back! There are items being left behind that don’t show up on the previous screen, so you always wanna double-check. Here I can see the key on the floor, but the game has me walk right past it, and I have to go back and get it. If I wasn’t paying attention, I could have been screwed from that, and had to look all over town to find the right item. The stolen level design that’s not touched up makes it even harder than it should be. That light really IS an exit on the “Unreal” map, but in here it looks like one, but you can’t go through it. This Frankenstein of a game isn’t even stitched up right… Sometimes, an area that had nothing might have items appear there later. Keep checking the journal: if something’s not crossed off, you have to go back later. I could follow the plot up until Briggs was hiding in the stable with some… terrifying horses. So, he scopes it out, and he’s, like, hiding in the corner, and these characters walk in, and then one says: “horses for courses”. I’ve played this a few times now, and I have no idea what this means, but… it’s the key. BRIGGS: “That’s what the creature was trying to tell me!” You mean this guy? [unintelligible grunts and groans] There was only one point when I was really stuck. And it’s a nightmare… At some point, when you leave “First Edition Books”, you get hit with a snowball. BRIGGS: “Whoa!” [*thwomp*] The note says: “there’s more than one way Inn”, and I’m glad the game points it out. I’m serious: there’s so many typos and spelling errors that you might think differently. I look all around the Inn, and I don’t see any secret passage, or switch, or button, or anything. Maybe the note meant there’s another way to get INSIDE the Inn from somewhere outside? So I explore the areas around the Inn, but I still don’t find anything. So here’s the answer… The horrible, horrible answer… First, you have to go behind the bar, to a very exact spot in the corner. Then you mouse around for a magic pixel. No text prompt comes up – your hand just changes shape for about half a second. You have to be standing in the right place, so I have to keep… waving around to do it right… Op… No… There we go! Now you’re in the secret “Oblivion” dungeon. That, BY FAR, is the biggest blocker in the game. Now I can just grab these “Baldur’s Gate” cloaks and be done with it… When I finally found the big piece of evidence, I nearly had a stroke. I’m gonna leave that as a surprise. You have all the evidence, Briggs brings it to the court. Not since “A Time to Kill” has there been a speech quite like this one. He’s trying to reach a word count. BRIGGS: “No! This is an evil, greedy, corrupt society,” BRIGGS: “whose lust for wealth and power means that they will stop at nothing to get what they want.” BRIGGS: “…the landlord of the very aptly named Inn of Sins – a fine, upstanding citizen…” BRIGGS: “…ladies and gentlemen, these people that you know and recognize. Take a good look!” I timed it. This goes on for 7 minutes and 45 seconds, and you cannot skip it. It actually sounds like an essay being read aloud. He drags out every piece of evidence you found. I could feel myself being pulled into the void, when, suddenly, one of the greatest cutscenes in video games begins. BRIGGS: “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your Soul Taker!” [*rip*] [angered demonic shrieking] [match ignites] [the shrieking goes on] [hum of some magical energy] [shrieking stops with a pained wail] [defeated gurgling] BRIGGS: “The Soul Taker has been banished! Your mayor has been returned!” [townspeople cheering] Absolute art… It’s never explained what he did. It’s great. So, it’s time to move to the fourth chapter. After the troll removes all of our items… [troll roaring and Briggs screaming] [*crash*] BRIGGS: “Who do you think you are, throwing your weight around like this?” [loud roar] The Machi-ine… Chapter Four sucks. Not in a funny way: it just drags out too little for way too long. As far as I know, this map is made entirely from “Unreal” maps. Way too few. This is a case study in how NOT to pad out your adventure game. It has a map similar to Darkmere, albeit much smaller. All of the numbered “Tower” locations are completely identical. Except, some have items. Tower 1 and 2 have nothing – a complete waste of time. Tower 3’s only item's right outside the train. There’s no reason to explore the rest. So, there’s not a lot to see, but the game knows it. There are two objects that really stick out, but you can’t interact with them at all. You have to do other minor tasks, and then they show up and you can pick them up. I don’t know why this bothers me so much. Possibly, because it was something I expected, but it didn’t happen until now. The only good things about it are the cutscenes, and there’s only a few of them. You can beat it all in 10 minutes. So, now’s a good time to talk about background stuff, before the final chapter. Oh my God, the whole country is a circle! BRIGGS: “I, Madam, am Benjamin Spooner Briggs! Captain of the Mary Cel…” BRIGGS: “Benjamin Spooner Briggs. Captain of the Brigantine Mary Celeste!” I like Briggs as a character, because he’s a goofball, but you don’t learn a lot about him. You CAN learn some things from the Bonus Disc. It’s an enlightening piece of media. For starters, it has an entire intro cutscene that’s not in the game. Yeah, when you’re just thrown into it all, with no context – this was supposed to be in front of it. Why it’s not actually in the game I have no idea. It has an intro, credits, titles pop up, and it’s way more elaborate than the one the game has. I can only put it down as another mystery… Anyways, the weird vampires in the intro are brothers named Destiny and Fate. But… aren’t those the same thing? I guess, “destiny” usually has more positive connotation than “fate”, but, still… Anyhow, Briggs gets lost in the Bermuda Triangle. It has some live action footage that people debate over the source of, but they definitely didn’t make it. It explains that Briggs is on an island, and his actions will determine the future of mankind. Those are higher stakes than what the intro implied. Wait, that’s the “Crysis” demo! Maybe they scrapped it because they knew they weren’t allowed to use that… It’s still incredibly vague, but better than what the game came with. It even shows why Briggs is flying through the big hell portal from “Spawn”. So, Briggs is still a goofball, and this doesn’t change that. But here’s where it gets strange: Captain Benjamin Spooner Briggs… was a real man. His ship – The Mary Celeste – was also real, and was found derelict a few days after this game takes place. Briggs and his crew were never seen again. This game is the final legacy of a real God-fearing sea captain. [*sniff*] Grab your Chicago Style and get on JSTOR – it’s time to learn! “Limbo of the Lost” was a book, originally published in 1969. It got republished in the 70’s as “Limbo of the Lost: Actual Stories of Sea Mysteries”. There were several articles and a few books talking about the Bermuda Triangle before this one, but this helped popularize it. The real course of the ship was nowhere near the Tringle, but here’s where things get a little tricky. So I went to my buddy Tex from the BlackPantsLegion. He’s done historical works specializing in Maritime history, so he’d be perfect. At this point, I knew that the real Mary Celeste was one of those weird sea mysteries. It was found derelict near Portugal, with no crew, all the cargo intact, but a missing lifeboat. Some of the sails and rigging were damaged, but that was about it. Now here’s where things get complicated. Sir Arthur Doyle (the guy who wrote “Sherlock Holmes”) had a short story published in 1884. It was in an issue of “Cornhill Magazine”, and was based on the real Mary Celeste. He just changed minor details and names, like calling the ship The Marie Celeste. The story ended up so popular, that to this day it corrupts historical documents about the real ship. The US council in Gibraltar, who had been present at Mary Celeste hearings, would later make inquiries, based on the story’s facts. After Tex did some groundwork on things, he found out the big discrepancy: the cargo. Doyle’s account puts the cargo value at $35000, which is worth more than the ship. The alcohol was also going to be used to fortify wines, but that’s not how this works. The real ship had 171 barrels of denatured alcohol: most likely pyridine and methylate spirits. This wouldn’t be how port and fortified wine were made. They would use the neutral grape spirit, most likely locally, not from overseas. Not to mention that port was mainly a cocktail mixer in the Victorian Era. Shipping booze across the Atlantic to make ratchet peasant wine would have been stupid and expensive. So, any account saying the cargo was worth 35k and being used to fortify alcohol is wrong. And written by brainlets. [*burp*] This eliminates most accounts of mutiny and aliens. So was Briggs eaten by his crew? A sea monster? Well, the most likely answer came out a few years before this game was made. Doctor Andrea Sella of the UCL Chemistry Department built a replica of the Mary Celeste. He simulated a butane explosion from the cargo hold, which made a big fireball, but left no signs of burning on the ship itself. This would explain why the ship was damaged but showed no signs of burning, due to a pressurized explosion. It explains everything being left behind, and no entry in the Captain’s log. Because explosions at sea are scary. So, why are there still weird theories? Because there’s money to be made off mystery. “As much as the simplest solution makes sense, other tantalizing evidence suggests another fate for The Mary Celeste.” “The first mate’s wife claims that on the night of November 25th she had a dream…” No way… “…that said, that her husband had been murdered at sea.” Please, stop! The new owners of The Mary Celeste then… eh… took it to a reef off the coast of Haiti, and tried to wreck it there for six insurance policies. They didn’t get… They didn’t get it… Speaking of scams: the developers claimed that they didn’t steal anything! It was all done by a mysterious person or entity that they outsourced. Well, guess where we’re coming back to? Remember the Amiga demo? This hallway is the key. There’s another Amiga game, called “Guy Spy”, and people have pointed out some striking similarities in this hallway. That’s right, even back then, they were ripping people off. This game is legendary… So, let’s move on to the final chapter. [sound of alarms and mechanism powering up] “He mentioned something interesting.” “Cypher is pursuing new research.” He claims that what they’re doing in Africa is the missing piece.” “A weapon to surpass Metal Gear…” [Marv scream] The Citadel… This is another short one, made of “Unreal” maps, but I like it a lot more, aesthetically. The original score (maybe the only thing NOT stolen) is also really good. The puzzle’s just matching up a right hammer with the right head on the wall, and you’re good to go. [as hammer slams, an echoing laughter is heard] [it's different for each head] Still, for the final level in this adventure, it seems like a letdown. It did seem rational at first: after all, they couldn’t have expected a ton of people to get this far, but then the true final challenge began. BRIGGS: “It’s very dark down here…” BRIGGS: "(gasp) Wha...?!" [screeching] BRIGGS: “Oh… Oh, my head… Ahh… What? Where the hell am I…?” [*swoosh*] [*swoosh*] [*swoosh*] [*swoosh*] “Intruder!” “The Dark One knows you!” “Where is the Seal?” “The Chosen commands your death!” “You answer to me!” [*blast*] [epic choir seals the scene] That is a legitimately awesome buildup. This is a timed challenge: remember where each head was and activate them in order of a panel. This is not a lenient timer. [dynamic music playing] I got all the symbols, but now there’s letters! Looks like “destiny”… The timer keeps going, and you don’t have the time to screw around. You’re gonna be at the bottom, so you need to get these letters in as fast as you can. Once you do, you’ve won it all. I’m saving the best ending for last. This comes after: Fate is upset that Destiny has beaten him, and so they opt in for a “double or nothing”. That’s right, they were already teasing a sequel. We both know a lot of reasons why that’s not gonna happen… For those same reasons, I would highly recommend checking it out. Or getting a copy. Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of legal issues after this game came out, so the retail boxes got pulled. At the time of this video, you can still find wrapped copies for $15-20 USD, but those won’t last forever. This isn’t getting a digital release or an Enhanced Edition any time soon. For all its problems, it’s such a bizarre and funny experience, that, for someone like me, I couldn’t help but keep going. And nothing reflects its spirit better than the REAL ending. Thanks for watching! These videos are increasingly harder to make due to scheduling issues, but I’m trying to do it when I can. At some point in the near future, I’ll have a special showing of this game on Twitch (same name as the YouTube one). If you stuck around this long, thanks again, and here’s the perfect ending… BRIGGS: “I can’t see a thing!” [everyone cheering] “Surprise! Hooray!” “Take it away!” [lively piano tune playing] “Go on, Rita, baby!” “Now that sounds really groovy!” “I tell you what... Let’s sing!” ♪ “Well, it’s nice to see Briggs safe and sound” ♪ ♪ “After all he’s been around” ♪ ♪ “And in my view he should be crowned” ♪ ♪ “The King of Limbo!” ♪ ♪ “Well, he’s had his ups and he’s had his downs” ♪ ♪ “He’s had his smiles and he’s had his frowns” ♪ ♪ “But I still say he should be crowned” ♪ ♪ “The King of Limbo!” ♪ ♪ ("Wahoooo") ♪ ♪ ("Wahoooo") ♪
♪ “What more can a poor boy do” ♪ ♪ ("Wap-Wap-Wahooo"x3) ♪
♪ “What more can a poor boy do” ♪ ♪ ("Wap-Wap-Wahooo"x3) ♪
♪ “Working for the likes of me and you” ♪ ♪ ("Wap-Wap-Wahooo"x3) ♪
♪ “What more can a poor boy say” ♪ ♪ ("Wap-Wap-Wahooo"x3) ♪
♪ “But I could use your help in any way” ♪ ♪ “Ah-hah-hah, he took his courage to the brink (hic)” ♪ ♪ “If it were me, I would turn to drink” ♪ ♪ “Ehem... That’s the reason I think he should be (hic) I think he, eh...” ♪ ♪ “A King of Limbo!” ♪ ♪ “Aaarrgh! He had to face the Inn of Sins” ♪ ♪ “But at least he kept his leggy limbs” ♪ ♪ “I thinks that we should be crowning hims” ♪ ♪ “The King of Limbo!” ♪ “Take it away, Rita, baby!” “Tha-at’s coo-ol!” ♪ ("Wahoooo") ♪ ♪ ("Wahoooo") ♪
♪ “What more can a poor boy do” ♪ ♪ ("Wap-Wap-Wahooo"x3) ♪
♪ “Working for the likes of me and you” ♪ ♪ ("Wap-Wap-Wahooo"x3) ♪
♪ “What more can a poor boy say” ♪ ♪ ("Wap-Wap-Wahooo"x3) ♪
♪ “But I could use your help in any way” ♪ ♪ “We’ve all had fun, you must agree” ♪ ♪ “Even though interactively” ♪ ♪ “But now we feel that Briggs should be” ♪ ♪ “The King of Limbo!” ♪ ♪ “Ado wap, adooby do wap. Ado wap, adooby do wap. Ado wap, adooby do wap.” ♪ ♪ “The King of Limbo!” ♪ ♪ “Ado wap, adooby do wap. Ado wap, adooby do wap. Ado wap, adooby do wap.” ♪ ♪ “King. Of. Li-im-mbo-o-o!” ♪
Oh man, I knew that the plagiarism was bad, but Jesus, they weren't even subtle at all (seriously, they just rip entire locations from Oblivion and poorly mirror some of the objects).
Watching Mandalore's video felt like a trip through some fever dream of stolen assets and poor audio mixing. Oh yeah, Tue game's ending is still as good now as it was 10 years ago.
If anyone is interested in watching a full playthough, Vinesauce does one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-H4wu30Sks&index=1&t=0s&list=PLlc94szfcNDHdHdZewnAvKeBXWYZVGdtT
It's an amazing trainwreak the whole way through.
The video is worth watching. But those who don't have 40 minutes, you can get the taste of the Limbo of the Lost's greatness by watching the ending song here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URcvdDtnM_0
Oh whoa, fun to see this pop up again after not thinking about it for such a long time. I remember a huge thread of people poring over the game and posting screenshots of all the plagiarism. Eventually someone played through the whole thing and documented in extreme detail how bad the game was.
My favorite puzzle was one where you mixed yellow powder into water, which turned it green. Because water is blue.
I only recently discovered this game like 2 months ago after someone on this sub mentioned it, and I gotta say, that ending/song still leaves me in stitches every time I see it.
Really groovy.
I'm so happy Mandalore is posted here. He is easily my favourite content creator right now. His entire backlog of reviews is amazing.
Man, this is a decade old now? How time flies, I remember reading and following the original controversy in awe of just how much they nabbed from everywhere.
The ending song is still great!
There actually seems to be some real genius in that game. It's a shame so much of the art and sound was plagiarized and it probably didn't see any real QA. Someone could likely take this game, rebuild it, and it would be a hit. Maybe even make it even more self-referential.
It seems like the key to a game being high up on the "Good Bad Game" rankings is that it's playable. It should give you that "what the fuck is happening here?" feeling but it should generally work, even if not as the player expects.
I watched that whole video. It's actually quite interesting although I would not have been able to make it more than a few minutes into the game itself.