Ron White | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #154

today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza gray block pizza sometimes you don't know what you want to do and you're just standing around somewhere well you can change all that go to grey block pizza and fill your holes 18:11 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach in Los Angeles gray block pizza get that hitter today's episode is brought to you by minimal case it's the world's thinnest phone case everything's on a diet these days and phone cases are no different I saw a phone case the other day vomiting in the bathroom the minimal case is the world's thinnest case just point zero one inches thick that's barely thick at all currently minimal is having cases for the new iPhone excesses xrs and pixel threes those are in stock the minimal case showcases the beauty of your phone I'm talking thin this isn't the type of case you can throw your phone or you're gonna drop it down the stairs or you're gonna you know clumsily let it fly off your lap and you're getting out of the car 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honored to be actually going this will be in his home today where we are it is mr. ron wyden did you ever meet this is probably before your time to giver me jerry Clower yeah yeah still doing gigs I'd see him he'd come to like play high school auditoriums and stuff yeah but but I did enjoy the work yeah yeah his albums I loveless I still listen to his albums oh yeah yeah one of them's like one of the all-time highest selling comedy albums ever I got I think it's like Greatest Hits or something but yeah man thanks for letting us be in here today sure welcome to tater lands yeah I know huh the house that comedy built her one of right and you got this dog here named mustard yeah mustard won't leave us alone by the way okay he'll never chill he'll uh he want you to throw that paw somewhere I think we're probably gonna have to lock him up what do you think mustard he's handsome huh yeah why don't you go ahead and take him downstairs where's he from what country or city is he from he's from he was born somewhere in Kentucky and I bought him when I was living in Atlanta right before him of Deadwood laughs I bought him for me and I bought this Australian Shepherd for my mother oh nice he likes animals yeah mother mother does and what she likes dogs yeah I think they have a cat or with her too but would your mom do whenever you were growing up did what did your mom work or just your dad worked now another work she had a the earliest one of the earliest memories I have is she was a cashier in this little grocery store and this little tiny dirt town in Texas and and my mother beautiful beautiful land so she was man I guess she'd have been twenty five or six in this little bitty dusty town they you know she was probably the only true you know hot babe in the whole city they wanted her to stay I bet ya they did they took a hit yeah people don't realize yeah like you get kind of used to in some of these bigger cities like seeing a lot of beautiful ladies but in smaller towns it was like that one girl you know right you imagine the town Christie Brinkley grew up in Oklahoma they were like uh you're going where I'm going to okay follow Christie you know I remember they had this girl in our town this girl named Chrissy hunt and she wasn't even she was just on our street but she had like a chipped tooth but she was like the first girl that like showed me any attention and I just remember thinking that took her to like another level you know that can happen the to throw there's the fact that she cared I think I don't know which one probably a little bit of both combination plate yeah that chip in the tooth let me know that you know she you know if we got in a relationship she'd be able to go through some things you know I think all right there was some value in that so but and you're married now no you're not married now I don't know man I don't know what it is no I'm not married I'm going through a thing with somebody that's claiming we were married but we weren't yeah so and it's gonna be a big you know it's a big uncomfortable things is that up is that is like is that upsetting or is it like kind of scary or is it just well you know it I was just hoping we could all be fair you know yeah and the fact that we can't be you know we that you know it's it was also you know of a family ties also and her brother and I are partners and the tequila company and oh yeah number one right good for his mother mother and I've known him all for 30 years and my mother and her mother really good friends and so you know I hoped it wouldn't end up in in in court but that's where it's gonna be dang you know if somebody else trying to chip a chip a hunk off yeah for themselves and that's disheartening huh a little bit especially and did you feel like cuz I know you've been married before me nah I met your most recent wife I just know that you had been married before I know that just from like the internet and stuff but I met your most recent wife at the Comedy Store one night this probably maybe a year and a half ago or something she came by would she look like I mean this is lady was like a brunette yeah yeah yeah yes yeah like definitely some fire and right now she's yeah she has she was like kind of tough yeah she was yeah she look like she was doing flamenco even if she wasn't doing it you know it's crazy crazy talented human being yeah but we were never married so I but I you know it's it's easier to say this is my wife's and it is to explain it yeah well she wouldn't sign me now so I wouldn't sign it but you know yeah it's just so it was kind of that's what most people thought but was crazy talented well the best thing I've ever heard in my life and really a really dynamic performer is that one of the things that you think like attracted to you too I remember hearing a girl sing when I was in junior high school and it was the first time I'd ever heard a girl sing and play the piano and yeah I would have married that girl right there and I don't even know what she looked like she could have looked she could have been a man first time I saw her sing she was probably right at 32 years ago and she was like 19 years like and she's on stage with this bad just tearing it the [ __ ] up part I mean I've never seen vocal performances to this day you know likes you too classically trained opera singer you know do play singing rock and roll to make a living and and uh you know right there and I was like what what do I landed her brother stabbed me and I kind of came out of it really no oh that's beautiful that sounds like a Mexican that I don't know what that's called I feel like it's like a New Year's Eve like I don't know I would love to be Mexican next time I think or Latino you know if I come back I want my name to be one Pablo Montoya my name is Pablo Montoya yeah it would be great I could do that our kids or maybe I could do Vietnamese I think that seems exciting too you know hey yeah all right now dude you're off you're off you're you're young in the show now yeah you want to be what Pablo do you think yeah yeah I could do that I think a Latino I would be I think I would be I don't if I would be black yet I'll be black like in maybe one maybe the next time like if I did two or three reincarnations and then I got to pick different ones I'd be pretty cool if you got to go through all of them you know like all the ethnicities and all the well you certainly have a little different perspective you're just tired of this white guy [ __ ] aren't you it's red its course sometimes I feel like it's like in America it's kind of like it's not running its course but it's like it's it you know thing it's just it's getting wild out here you know it's just very it's a lot it's even more it's way more diverse and even when I was young you know it's just it's changing I guess what America has always been like a changing place though you know because the state of flux yeah sure what's the town that you grew up in like now same exactly is it yeah another James there it was a grain elevator then it's a grain elevator now yeah the fridge Texas is the name of the place and and I went back maybe 12 or 13 years ago I was long enough ago they had brick-and-mortar record companies that were selling my records and so I came up and did a show for them and Amarillo and they gave me this big white stretch limousine and I have a half-sister that's in radio there and shei and so we got in it and went back to fridge was about sixty miles away and I had been there since I was a kid and we were trying to find this little house that mother and I were talking about today that the day before she had me she was staying in the floors my dad my grandpa built his house and in the next day she came in the world yeah right staying the whole planet yeah but it's and I couldn't find the house and then I went back and I remembered my mother's house my grandmother's house is this great big house with these little trees but that was you know 40 something years ago well turns out it's a little bitty house with gigantic trees the trees got huge and the house wasn't ever big I was just really little right bigger than our house if I just thought of it as the big house with the trees so we I found it and then I can for some reason I knew how to get to my house from my grandmother's house that's when we drove straight to it and and it's just this little bitty thing and maybe 800 square feet little white clapboard house and and but they were carpenters and they built a fence and to make it fancy they put a curved top on the fence and that went it was low in the front and he got a little taller and went back in the back but they've never finished it because my father got transferred we moved to Houston so I wasn't still like that seven is still I finished Wow is exactly the same far long as it was when my dad all right [ __ ] with building it everybody else said a [ __ ] that's good like that was there like sometimes if I go do stuff that's like nostalgic like that like it almost makes me kind of sad you know it makes me see like the time that I've been alive kind of do you have any like kind of thoughts like that well other than how totally weird it is that anybody that plays Madison Square Garden or Radio City Music Hall is from that town right you know just such an obscure place to be from yeah I mean just you know it just the odds are a given to one that's somebody from that environment that was ever gonna go through or yours you know to find any kind of fame and fortune in show business yeah do you look at the town as part of like this something that helped kind of like do you look at it as like a you know a place of like you know that kind of spurned you or something do you feel like that or you were just I was a little kid there you know and obviously we didn't have anything but I mean I had a dirt yard and the same as Foxworthy had a dirt yard we used to talk about that yeah we would have grass or anything some spiders and some we had tons of horny toads I even saw a couple of gila monsters and others I really do lab today yeah well the Gila monster's might be those things live a long time I think there's a turtle that's alive like it said there's been a lot like 600 years in Hawaii but it costs if you touch it it's 5000 bucks I said it's like a fine you get so it's got a little baby but now I don't you know I it's a it's just this little bitty town and it just happens to be where I'm from and you know I grew up in the smellier part of Houston and in a house that my dad built and right across street in the high school and junior high so you know I'm pretty you know pretty normal I think childhood yeah did you think like cuz I know you said that you know like go do relay your most recent relationship it was you know it was what it was but I find in my life like it's like tough I have a tough time like you know really caring about other people do you ever notice that kind of stuff with you like just being as a comedian and being like a performer and stuff like that caring about other people yeah I got a real level where it feels like I I don't know I guess I can't really explain I mean I have a tough time like in relationships you know so I have a tough time I think I'm left too because here I am yeah 61 years ago and single yeah I guess you know I mean I still have friends that have been friends of mine for 50 years since I was a kid something like those kinds of things have always continued even though I've lost a couple of them and and same with my you know with my mom you know her and I are still very very very close but but I have a you know it's it's kind of hard to get in with my camp yeah you know all my guys that open for me have been friends for 30 years and ever since I got into comedy so right you feel like you're like it's like like do you feel because I feel like I didn't think this when I started like dating and being in relationships but I feel just recently even I've noticed I guess I'm just hard to connect with I guess it seems like like what I'm starting to what they said that's what they said yeah it could be lying but do you ever feel like that like do you ever cuz I guess I start to worry that I'm not gonna be able to have like a comfortable relationship in my life and I don't I wonder if it relates back to my work or if it's maybe just who I am you know I think it's just who you are yeah yeah it's now you know I don't know I always feel like I'm emotionally available at some point yeah I feel like I'm not getting what I want I don't know yeah and then I'm out of there yeah you know I haven't been in that many long relationships but but none of them seem to have worked out that great except for you know the one the mother of my son who's still a very very dear friend of mine today and and we were married for 12 years and she had my kid oh wow he got a divorce she got a dryer oh that's it I we had a damn writer and she got the dryer that's beautiful yeah Wow and you wish you to have more children or that's what do you have you have a boy or girl I have a son that's 28 years old it's a great kid I don't really have any regrets anywhere my life you know I am where I am and I'm happy with it you know I'm 61 and still have a vibrant career and you know and that's pretty rare yeah deal you know and you know people are always asking me you know when I'm gonna retire which I almost resent the question but I hear it and I'm like you know the fans you know they'll decide yeah you know if they if they're still interested in what I have to say I'll still still talk you know I can't imagine you know not having a life that I don't do stand-up yeah the time you think you'll die on a tour bus you think probably either that or a really nice hotel or my plane you know something yeah it'll it'll have a it'll be loud and I just have a feeling whenever it happens it'll be loud yeah do you um did you have any time where you like took time off of the road and like like where it started to get to you or something like that I'm starting to notice some of those things for myself sometimes where I start to get a little bit rattled ah you know I was it a learning curve my well you know in a way it was I I did 15 years in clubs and before blue-collar and yeah the day that Lily was released on DVD I could sell out any venue in the country in seconds and did you say you can you still feel that feeling in your in your sometimes yes which yeah holy [ __ ] yeah cuz we put up cuz I remember hearing stories about you like there's all types of wild round white stories you'd hear just you know that he was out there you know I mean he was out there on the right he was just always out there just traveling doing shows yeah crazy crazy numbers I thought everybody I mean I most the guys I knew a road comics yeah it's different than in LA comic around New York comics usually the road comics live in the Midwest which is you know if you're if you want to be a comedian that's where you need to go you know you need to go where you're doing 9 shows a week every week yeah staying on stage not as your just you know [ __ ] grassland for scraps you know yeah so and I saw that kind of early on I came out and and headlined a room I shouldn't have been headline and got horrible reviews and and I went I need to go back to the Midwest and sharpen the blade for another decade Wow and then see what happens and that's what I did of course the bad review was just something that made me scare the area anyway yeah it was pretty personal you know don't think of personal I'm like well it's kind of picture me making a face I swear to god I've never made but there it is and and the guy wrote it was it was watching White's 41 minutes show is like watching a polar bear lumber around on stage something comical or interesting happening only occasionally huh so you can tell how much impact that had on me because I still can quote it yeah and then it but then it was a you know the it was you know six by twelve inch thing with a big picture and yeah and then a big black friend uh said even when White's not blue he's not funny he's not funny in big black letters and I was like oh no not hurt my feelings man yeah that's a stinger and and I thought it was the end of my career yeah because I thought that they'd fire me and send me home and I'm like well I did two shows already surely they gotta pay me for that you figure out how am I gonna use this money for rent for the rest of my life yeah right it's gonna be tough and to stretch this out or even get home and damn that must have been devastating it was I went across the street I was playing this it was the stop yeah last stop in Newport Beach mhm and and the the two weeks before I was there was Seinfeld and Slayton and I've been to a stand-up for three years so I should have been beaten with a rubber hose which I was yeah I got beat with a rubber hose that was the best thing that ever happened to me it was somebody to go sha whop you know get to get a more realistic view of where you're at right now in this business and and and even though the years later the guy who wrote it apologized to me and because it was so brutal but frankly he wasn't really nice to anybody he wrote for the Orange County edition of the LA Times sounds like a mistress and yeah so he like Fred Greenlee and a couple of other people but never heard of that guy not that he's a bad guy but though ya know he's but it was a bit of a dick yeah but that's what it would have taken to get me to notice you know feet of washed it over you know if you know you're there to review comedy right you see a show that's not up to par that's the one you chew on and pretty chewed on it you find like I like so many of these like people that write articles and they're all from like New York or LA and they don't even have like a concept I feel like sometimes and not in a bad way they just don't have a perspective of what a lot of other people think is funny or were a lot of other people's point of view comes from so a lot of times like when I read a lot of articles is just always painting a lot of like my favorites is like you know these guys are an immuno these guys are animals that they're too loud or it's like what are you talking about these some of these are just it's entertainment right yeah I read some really unflattering things about Chappelle's Show and I just seen it yeah and it was written by some comic wannabe in Australia and I'm like okay well I'm gonna go watch your show not sure I can find it and I'll tell you how you stack up against your pal because I just watched his I just seen his show in Santa Barbara off the conflict we were walking by this theater and he was playing there that night and I bought tickets Mao went in there watched it it was fantastic got a blast yeah and I'm a pretty good critic stand-up comedy I mean I do have a at least a triple doctorate in this artform the point my opinion is the only one that matters to me not some young dude that wants to go bashing on Chappell yeah for whatever reasons yeah yeah so in that point you know that thing is true I've had people write very very flattering things about me too so I'm sure the truth is somewhere in the middle of that yeah do you um do you do you ever fear or have you ever feared that like you would have written like your best material like that you come to a point like that in your career at certain points you're like this I'll never write something better than that uh you know I wrote baby duck [ __ ] lip tacos this year I know that I've ever written anything funnier than four seasons you know I've heard that man I've told my friends about that bit actually anal bleaching that was a you know it I think it's hard to come up with for me because I'm I do everything in story form and that you know I find it harder and harder to come up with just a great new closer yeah but but just material as long as I go out and do sets and do the work you know and then then I wrap you know I can still write but I've never been prolific at all you know yeah CK comes out with a special every 12 months I come out with whenever about every 40 months yeah and it's last someone that good the sex charges or whatever that was that you know here's okay yeah I mean I think yeah so he's gonna be well you know I've talked about that one time and he says that if I that he you know I like to let him sit on the vine because I've seen these bits get really ripe and so it's when stuffs falling off the trees that's you use it they put it out in special yeah but do you ever think that you were like did you ever worry that your whatever the thing inside of you or something that made you be able to be you your creativity was your worry that that was going to you know just like dry up yeah and you know what what dries up is the effort hmm you know I can still do it you know in conversation I'm still very funny you know to most people and and but do I have the fear of course I have the figure you know I've got a new Netflix special out right now yeah well I don't have another show you know so I was risque there that I was I was going to go out and do a set and the crowd was gonna stare at me go really not but it turns out you know they want to see alive and most of them haven't seen it and so seems like since that come out came out I'm walking out on stage two full standing ovations and and just murdering with that dude just doing that special for them and then they cut some stuff out of it and then doing some older stuff at the end which I've never done right and and they're digging that yeah you know I you know it's there's definitely time to really work on replacing it but as long as they're doing what I'm doing you know it's it's I think that's my fifth or something yeah it's real besides the blue-collar stuff and it's a lot and you know I feel like and I'm proud of every one of them I mean I think they were all in some way you know pretty good work yeah when you uh was there so going back to kind of that moment when things kind of changed and suddenly you could sell tickets it was more like you know your material hadn't really changed you were just mark you were marketable I guess at that point or whatever the time is our people were looking at you now and seeing you yeah what happened was that first blue collar album sold four million copies and and the and that's one of the biggest selling games of all time comedy albums was blue collar one and and two and so you know and and something you always do with comedy albums if you really like them you really pass them around a lot right I used to go everywhere with a copy of let's get small in my cassette okay so I could just play it for people and didn't take credit for how good it was that's awesome and so I mean I was more famous then that I am now yeah just because of all you know they're probably 80 million people or more even more than that had seen it on Comedy Central even you know he said sure Laura bought the DVD yeah or whatever so so the impact it made on my life financially was unbelievable because you know I went from you know making but I think when I was on blue collar maybe by five grand a week usually maybe a little more yeah I'd be less and then I went to make it at least a quarter of a million a week that's crazy every week and sometimes as much as six and so but that part happened just like that how big is that bag the money because it's a big bag in a big bag of money and and I didn't know what to do you know I the buying anyway do you buy a boat no no but but but I bought you know I'm finding I was not you know I were you drinking like a crazy person Lincoln every I'd be drinking Mercury with that kind of money right well that's the thing I'll be drinking somebody else's blood they get a hundred and forty dollar piss every morning I don't know it was that crazy was it crazy sometimes like to be sitting in a nice hotel room and be like this is the dream like I'm now living in the because before that it's a dream oh yeah it's a dream I didn't even have I mean even though Foxworthy blown up standing right next to me I had never had any expectation of being here that kind of stuff believe me not one bit I had no confidence that I was ever good be more than a club headliner and I like being a club headline yeah you know so I didn't care but I just you know I saw people that I thought were better than me not getting it I see you know Jenny for one I thought rich Jenny was one of the best comedians that ever lived and and he would make it to clubs for I mean from out of the clubs into the theaters for a little while but he would never be able to sustain it and even though the you know his specials were off the hook and then and then he ends up you know often himself in a shower and so I I've always you know kind of kind of like I kind of just looked at it a different way yeah like what about that guy right if that guy doesn't get it why would I get it you know and I did this day I think Jimmy's a better comic than me and but it didn't you know it turned out the way it turned out so but if something has to happen now yeah you know I never knew why I made such a strong connection with these people do you now know why do you have any idea now when you I you know because it's interesting like I said you're my mother's favorite comedian and you're also my stepbrothers favorite comedian and they they're 45 years difference in age you know yeah I understand what I'm good at and you know that as far as being just a pace rhythm timing storyteller I know that I'm I'm really good at that yeah I know I can work on microphone I know that I could work very very subtly I don't move very much on the stage and I which makes you look at my eyes which helps me lie to you right and so like a polar bear man I know how or a goose they got that part right at least in that article the polar bear or it's kind of right yeah they nailed it they're kind of captivating they moose you know but yeah it's interesting I'm trying to think of what it is I've seen you a bunch of times at the Comedy Store yeah I mean I grew you know I've seen your stuff over the years I'm trying to think of it you know being able to be closer to you now and see what the Comedy Store what it is definitely the pace kind of there's like a comfortable hypnosis kind of that goes on a little bit I also I feel like as a viewer I want to get to know I don't care about I mean I love the jokes and materials great but I want to get to see Ron white you know like I want to get to see him just be him and there's something that's that's different than some other artists you you go to hear their jokes you know it's like oh they'll have a great bit or something but with you I feel like man it's um well it is weird it's almost like yeah polar bear you want to see them they're kind of it you know not an endangered species but they're uh you know you don't get to see them everywhere right yeah I really don't know it's just like I said you know I've seen people better at it than me yeah that that didn't get what I've been given as a you know as an entertainer and so and I try to be humble and accept it and you know and I've never been arrogant about my skills as a comedian yeah although I know I'm really good at something right but right it did happen you know I was turns up but but you know you also got to have a catalyst to make it happen I had the perfect storm of a catalyst which means well you may already know what it means but yes I got Andrea Gail moon you know II did ten minutes upfront and then an eight minute long story so that's 18 I got famous famous famous of eighteen minutes of material Wow so I've still got this stuff I've been writing for 16 years nobody's ever heard it took tour with right so so such a blessing I was really really ready for that opportunity yeah and then I got fit I watched it coming I'm like well it just works I'm gonna get famous off a no material and most people burn their first an hour you know like like like Jenny did or like Rich shiner did or like oh you know they'll burn that hour and then how's that second how we're gonna you know stand up well I didn't burn it you know I'm right and you just threw a stick in the fire and next thing you know you still had a bandha you know had a show to tour with that nobody had ever seen Milan it was bald you know polished over 16 years and it was you know something I was doing in the club's you know 290 days a year and as many as 3 sets a night so you know I was I was a beast of a club common yeah oh I could I can't even fathom so and that's why I still you know that's why I still do sets every night you know if you Yassine you up at the company store all the time I'm always shocked them like wow right because it's easy just to sit over here and smoke weed and drink yeah which I will also but yeah do you have do you have like a um was it hard to feel like deserving of your success and fortunate not your success because that's kind of based on what you do is it hard to feel like deserving of like the accolades and stuff like you know what I'm saying kind of isn't it I don't I don't take them that serious right you know and I wouldn't be if people want to tell me how great I am yeah you know I understand what they're looking at you know and and we're where they're getting that idea right but I don't give it any credibility and and if somebody really hates my work I have a tendency to agree with them for a second you know I'm like yeah right well that's true right that's so true I do that take it or leave it myself but you know what I think that's really is kind of the best approach to come at it from anyway you know why is it that we can hear the one person that doesn't like her we can know if that one person in the audience of 5,500 people they didn't laugh and that's the only person I know that's the only person I could see what is that why is that you think yeah you know I don't know maybe it's just part of our genetic makeup yeah you know makes us so insecure that we have to get up in front of people every night and get some attention yeah I don't know mine is fairly common though you know I don't find any of the really big comics that I know to be particularly air again about what they do even though what they do is impossible to do right you know to build the career stacking words yeah you know and I'm doing it with a tenth grade high school education out of fridge you're right that's awesome yeah that does that part you know I beat myself up a lot for not having a formal education of any kind but but my brain won't do that right my brain does this and all it does you know it doesn't I can't do conventional school work just I was just completely lost with it and just a really short attention span and attention deficit disorder yeah I was just lexical fog that's not gonna it was freelance now everybody's doctored into it right yeah back then you just got on the short bus into the [ __ ] class and which I did and and eventually you know I started doing drugs fairly early and and then um and I him my sister was a lot of trouble so nobody really noticed what I was a ho Wow yeah and and but it turned out I was up to quite a bit and yeah so like I got kicked out of high school and were you bad were you bad or were you rebellious what were you mean I just try to have some fun you know I don't know I was like no no not at all I don't mean bone in my body were you a clown of you a wordsmith like what was your thing I was a do as a clown and you know that was why people like me I was funny yeah but you know I was in Houston in the you know around 70s you know 71 there was a big psychedelic scene there oh wow and Houston and Houston yeah I called Allen's landing it my parents used to take us down there to look at the hippies bad so there are people on acid with flowers in her hair I mean trip yeah you know or early you know just like Haight Ashbury yeah Houston in a place called Allen's landing and and we take it down there like they were zoo it's awesome and it was bizarre to see I bet you they see everything bus but gypping it was girls would put a ass LSD in their vagina you know and it would be like this you know kind of this phase he just reminded me of that whenever you were saying that yeah LSD wasn't super big bus but mushrooms were and then sometimes we would get acid but I can't believe that they had I would never think of houston as having that know well number one all Houston's just like all was at one time it was this big around as a thimble it's surrounded by cattle ranches and as it grew it just cut into those cattle ranches when all those cattle ranches were full of mushrooms that's right really strong mushrooms and you go to the end of any Street Houston and that's where the cattle ranch is now and that's what the mushrooms all go out and you can pack a trash bag full of oh yeah minutes I had no idea they were worth money somewhere in the world you know you can get more and used to because we're like I'm good yeah good did I love doing mushrooms do you guys do them too knows we are growing up all the time yeah I still do yeah now it's become is it interesting to see how drugs have become especially living in California they're more of a medicine and stuff out here a little bit do you notice that yeah I do what I do with those shrooms is a micro dose every day and I do these little calves a capsule of these shrooms friend of mine growing mm-hmm and it's not enough to get you high it's just enough to make you laugh at [ __ ] any funny well it's to kind of turn you up a little a little bit just a little bit yeah do you did you ever get like way deep out and I'm like when you were young like we used to get law and I remember like I felt like I just you know melted one time I did you guys ever get twisted I brought a bag to a party one time gave him everybody and then started a game of hide-and-go-seek a lot of people had never done them in [ __ ] I don't know what happened half those people you know I'm sure they're fine I mean who knows it right now yeah you know well I also have a DOS you know for for concerts yeah yeah and that's you know I gotta tell you even though it's controversial statement I believe it 61 years old eat the mushrooms to go to the concert you know go have fun and because sitting around in the house thinking that you're 61 years old that's no fun yeah that's true we just went to Santa Fe and we went to this place called me out wolf never heard of that huh that's crazy crazy stuff look it up folks meow wolf Santa Fe New Mexico it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen and in it somewhere it's it's a it's amazed it's a trip maze hmm it was built by the guy who did Game of Thrones the writer and yeah I think the creator Wow and and you can fact check me on that but I know he had something to do with somebody with Game of Thrones and it's like specially just designed what is it it's a it was a bowling alley at one time that they dug out huge and you go into a door and there's a house and you go into the house and you look for clues on how to get to other portals so you might open a refrigerator yeah and then go through this stairway that it takes you into another world and it's a journey right and depending on what you see changes your journey plan which way you go in this thing and you guys did it oh yeah we did it tripping balls but on those nights it was there's a for about a 400 person venue live music venue in it somewhere so that night a friend of ours named shakey graves from Austin was there great [ __ ] show me shakey graves is so goddamn good is he as good as it gets it's a man yeah yeah it's a he used to play on the streets of Austin with a with a tip jar and so saying is he he's got a suitcase that he built the kick drum in and and then he's got a low-rise symbol and so he plays guitar with and then he plays that cymbal with one foot and plays that kick drum with his other heel yeah and so it's a one-man band kind of thing and he's just insanely talented and now he sells out Red Rock I'm Denver you know he's a big touring act and he has it for him but he comes out by himself at first and that's where his fans want to see they just want to see him and that kick drum and that you know but he has a band that he does a lot of the show with and at the end of it he comes out just by himself and just been it is [ __ ] fun dang so I see so a lot of tonight is uh dude the mushrooms and go to the concert yeah don't say oh yeah go have some [ __ ] fun yeah I guess people just get too caught up in there is it I guess it's their habits or they just yeah wonder if people start to live into this idea of what they feel like it has to be as you as we get older you know I don't know I'm just saying yes the mushrooms go to the concert you know you said live in Mexico and I lived on the American side of the border said McAllen Texas and Reynosa Mexico is the border town I had a pottery factory there and this is a boat before I moved to Mexico I lived in a trailer and in this kind of a fenced-in community but you could have campers there so some people were living in those campers or khakis and stuff okay and and they I think they think that's a good idea because they used to go camping and it was fun what was fun about camping is you got drunk and you know whatever ran it was like yeah so they're getting drunk every night they just sitting these campers they've decided to go camping for the rest of their lives and the only thing that makes it tolerable is just a just huge amounts of liquor right that's that's what does it and so they and they've there's usually a man a woman they got nothing else to say to each other so we're sneaking out you know because if one of them catches you they got 65 years of stuff you haven't heard and they're dying to tell some Dadon heard it you know they're looking for a new audience yeah and which I get and so you know I think they're right if you're gonna live in RV better be willing to drink it's gonna suck yeah and I live in an RV yeah it's a nice one but I still live in one you know do you feel more at home there a lot of times in the bus yeah I like it because it's usually got my friends on it it's always stocked I don't have to carry stuff to it I've owned it for 12 years or something like that and you know it's big 45 foot Prevost and was it scary when it started to feel like home some was that a little spooky or no you know I've always seems like been able to roll with the punches you know wherever my life was that didn't seem to matter that much to me this weather I lived in a really nice place we didn't live in a really nice place now it would be hard to go back to yeah any other life than the one I have right now and I don't have to so right but now it's just a big you know at one time here my best friend who passed away yeah remember me he told me about him he wrote minutes I was my be happy guy Alex Roy mundo is my opening act great the bus driver built the bus and so you know when I'd see my bus coming I know I know all those people are on there and I'd have grey liquor and grey weed and great company and and and it was a Rovin circus I mean we were doing up to 145 cities you know four and five a week and you know just but it you know it was just that's just what was going on in my life now I still do a 110 which is more than probably most people do yeah but I just don't think I could I don't think I could slow down without stopping you know I think that you still have to like I said stay on stage all the time to be good at it and that's true actually two weeks off and you feel if something feels wrong yeah it feels different you're skiing I can tell it when I was doing 9 cents a week when I go to another club and have a day off those you know getting used to the sound system where you don't get to do that anymore because I'm in another town tomorrow night anyway yeah but now they're big theatres and most of them have somebody who knows what's going on but I remember being better on Wednesday that I was on Tuesday and and sharper by the weekend and so so now at 61 you know still the same you know I feel like that uh that it's easy to lose that you know you lose you lose it pretty fast yeah and I've really never seen anybody stop completely and ever regain any momentum particularly has that changed over the years where like if you've taken a couple days off when you were younger or at a younger age and now at 61 that the the bounce back time is that always just been seemed like the kind of the same a little bit well I mean I just kind of know how to do it now if I had a week off I mean I'm off this weekend so whatever said I did last I watch it just to get it all floating back at the top again you know that's so you could snatch it yeah how quick so but I'll just sit down and watch the last set that I did and and that usually that'll keep the first set for being too you know too shitty yeah but don't go to Thursday night shows that's what I'm trying to tell oh really yeah the mushrooms go to the concert don't go to my Thursday go to the Saturday do you miss or is there anything that you miss about being poor you know like sometimes I start to think about that like I'll started to just make a little bit of money like I start to wonder like other things that I'm gonna miss about are things that I do miss sometimes about you know having less money I used to do some really fun stuff that I don't do anymore like tube and rivers and yeah that you know really good poor people fun it was real fun yeah and so and I blame it on how busy I am but you know but I you know I I was I was already you know I already had a nice warm place to sleep and I ate good food the food the same food I like now and you know I other than the you know obviously the house are nice the car is nice and stuff like that it's it's not like I was I had never felt deprived Ryan however Ryan so you know it's it's certainly different and but you know it's not like I was coming from I didn't feel like my life is lacking before I made it right yeah it was one night you and I were hosting the you and I were judging the roast battle upstairs you know that Comedy Central show they have roast battle so I got you know and you didn't know me from Adam or anything and I was one of the judges sitting next to you well they give out that weed up there sometimes that speed we company or something you know right so I don't know one of us lit lit up a joint and then pass it to the other one and I took after the second hit man I couldn't I didn't know if you were on white dude or you know or I didn't know how was Ron white [ __ ] I don't know who was Ronnie white you know and you yeah yeah and you kept hitting it and I kept getting so scared I was like holy [ __ ] like there's no way that Ron is gonna be able to you know make it through this I had to have is the only night ever I had to have a girl drive me home in my car from the Comedy Store and take me into my apartment and put me to sleep you know and not in a fun way you know like and that was uh and you must hit it nine more times an idea that was over two years ago yeah cuz you've been sober for two years to be under your fans know your you been sober yeah yeah yeah yeah it's [ __ ] it's fun and then it's not fun like right now it's not fun you know I definitely wish I could probably get you know smoke again with Ron White and you know catch an uber it's not worth it I wouldn't do it but I got no choice why do you feel like these days you have to you have to drink or party I guess it's part of the lifestyle huh well I kind of just thought my hope a new plan is eat the [ __ ] mushrooms to go to the concert so yeah you know I I used to do I used to drink a lot more than I do now and I used to smoke a lot more than I do now and I say that with a drink and a joint in one in each answer yeah so it's really kind of hard to believe right folks but back when I was a scotch drinker I drank tequila now and I own this company it's called number one tequila yeah yeah people have said it's good a lot of my friends have tasted crazy what's in it the GAVI and water damn I love that's it that's it huh there are no other additives there's two people just hug him by the VAT while they're making it a bet huh oh yeah yeah then that's the thing I drink scotch for ever and late at night I drink a lot of scotch I started to get morose which makes nobody horny yeah just that's that Edgar Allan Poe syndrome huh is that what it is I think yeah he's always said morose he always said yeah things were dark you know he was always writing about people dying and everything right yeah my sides actually related to him is he really yeah Dan some kind of great-great-great-great uncle Edgar Allan Poe Edgar Allan Poe damn yeah the Raven baby anybody else in the family that's uh no I had your allen made some huh yeah so you mean me I mean Edgar Allan came oh he's pretty fascinating human being - he's very engaged in in life yeah and liberty and the pursuit of happiness and that's cool do you wish you two had more children or do you consider it still having some no I no absolutely no no no I mean there every once in a while I'll date somebody with a couple of kids and wonder if I could possibly take myself to a place where you know I'm actually you know responsible for somebody with damnit which I certainly didn't when I had my son ya know so I doubt I'll do it for somebody else right my son literally I got joint custody with my son Oh Congrats ooh and a half years old oh really yeah so and I didn't even deserve half but I got half so literally they're like all right you want half there you go here's a baby he's all yours knock yourself silly and I'm like wow so I'm touring around in my van I got a vamp driving two gigs in and what kind of van was it out to a stroke van and now it was a custom van Brenner TV oh that's nice and I mean nothing like what I get now bright it was still you could sleep in it if you wanted to and had a place to you know anyway and you had the baby in there so I had a baby toured with me me and there's a little baby I mean I don't know why that's not a movie yeah and literally I'm in comedy clubs walking up to waitresses right before I go to stage what they could do is hold him 45 minutes I'll be right back down don't even beer he likes it just don't give it to him and and and he was so hip to the comedy scene and sometimes I would take him onstage you know anything to get you laughing and and we he was maybe five years old was he good baby I was perfect and would you feed him you to speed him just road food just chilling oh yeah because I need you to play those plastic balls while I've nursed this hangover yeah I mean I was it was horrible i reaiiy really give myself a lot of grief buddy had a great stepdad and it still does a guy named Terry well I shouldn't say his name but a guy Terry Terry's are usually [ __ ] weird I think right the ones I've come across no offense if somebody's Terry but this one was good yeah this was amazing and you know we're you know he and I are opposite is the spectrum and and I don't think for a really long time he particularly liked me at all and and he had a couple of daughters that were one a little younger and I think a little older than us so he was already raising children he was into fatherhood that yeah right yeah he was an accountant and uh yeah he was doing it yeah he's a damn adult right he's an adult and I'm a [ __ ] club comic you know who the baby can't even imagine that well I can't imagine what made him ever agree to it you know because they could have just talked bad about me enough in court to get him to not do it did you fight for joint custody it seems like I must have yeah cuz how do you get I don't know but you know I wouldn't give me a baby you can't dial it back you know let's do 20% yeah I think that's a Josh blue bit but but it but it all adds up to who he is now and I mean we lived in Mexico when he was 5 years old and he took him from the road to Mexico this is Mexico to make pottery and and we lived in Reynosa Mexico which now you wouldn't go in there where the armed really it's wild huh but when I was there was great I mean it was it was magnificent best food best people the he and I ate at this killer taco stand across stream is little Church which was across the street my house and a cute little community and and we loved it there and does he have fond member does your son have fond memories of it or does he like hold that kind of stuff against you I you know I think that he has fond memories of it and and I you know it's a really really really good question but it doesn't feel like I mean because we talk every day and we into every conversation with I love you yeah everyone and that's cool so I think if there ever was any animosity and also he also got to see my life completely broke don't have a dime I don't have enough money to get me in the water park yeah I'm gonna tell him I'm sick because I got $12 16 cents and yeah you can't stand there as an adult if I can look into a water park dude that's the right not a good look you can't come up with the cash so well no even this is an adult standing there watching children play is you know even back then it was wild but yeah I can't imagine that like telling your son that and you guys having to find creative ways to spend time to get there you know my dad used to take us to funerals in town dude the [ __ ] you know for something for us to do you know like I think if he resumed him for it because I work you know I think in some way like you're saying maybe as an adult now 38 now I see somehow it probably helped me and at least he did something you know he made some effort you know because that's the thing he made some effort he could have just done nothing you know he could have just oh here I was telling a story and I got off the track where he's he's four or something like that and I said okay it's time to go to the club and he goes he goes alright damn but I don't want to go on stage tonight I just want to hang out in the green room and I said oh this club doesn't have a green room and he goes oh it's a funny bone the funny bones God dig for dimes we can't spare two hundred square feet to make you guys that's Baton Rouge funny bone man that's where I started out at in that place there was I mean everybody was related in the crowd you know this was this is kind of a down in Baton Rouge and it was fun everybody was just more football fans than they were comedy fans in a way you know he's just hard to get him to be quiet to listen but right but also at the same time they had 325 people in there every show oh yeah yeah I played that and I played the greenroom one called the greenroom there there was a ancient from Baton Rouge in veneration yeah I always loved that sound that sound parties you you you can start party in that town and nobody will stop nobody everybody will a get on we were just down in New Orleans playing the Saenger and just had a great goddamn time how's that theater they just redid it last year that's perfect yeah as good as it gets and and as you know it's it's still well you know I do my Friday after the show dough so much yeah you know Bourbon Street still burning the hint of vomit and piss and a bunch of fun yeah is there a place where you don't tour anymore that's just like and no particular reason but expert Mississippi yes because the venue sucks and the and the you know the crowds are just you know they're every I'm sure that 99.9% of them I'm sure the 75% absurd that 66% of people the too many [ __ ] knuckleheads huh and it was just it was bad one year that I came back I'm like [ __ ] my back here for and but I love the South yeah and I and I don't see that to be the case everywhere but it would just is one of these things where this guy's just gonna take over the world there's three guys that are security guards right down there and I'm like throw him out you're like what's your [ __ ] job you all talk to me like that like now I'm with the security security guard and then it got worse a bit worse where all the security guards were like man you can't come into this tab and then there's big Oh redneck I told you alright yeah you guys win so there you go yeah there's some places it is kind of wild like there's some places where the crowds like I am innocent Minnesota but sometimes I've like they don't laugh as hard sometimes as other places sometimes in the south when it gets to like so you get somebody that's to rural they just don't know how to behave indoors you know those are some things that I'll notice has I think comedy you know in general comedy audiences are more educated than ever and so I think I find more good yeah then then then bad and that's you know because they're watching so many things on TV that most people really kind of get it did you sit there and listen and respond to what they say yeah and even though you know not all the time but still even with even with the big crowds I'm playing now I find especially within the last couple of years you know they've been pretty well-behaved and and I'll Hal I throw somebody out of my show in a New York second if I get somebody to do it yeah I'm not gonna change shirts and go down there with a Taser dude in a Shreveport they used to have a club there Shreveport funnybone and they had a man there and after the show he would tease you he was like an off-duty cop if you wanted him to you know you could do it with him but and I remember getting [ __ ] tased one night me and another guy they talked me into it and that feel not good man really surprising that you did it no just the exact moment of it it even it's more surprising than you think it would be right yes involuntary knee-jerk oh yeah spit tile coming out of there and you what I felt really young for a second too though I remember that I remember feeling just there was this you still look extraordinarily well thanks thought you were 28 oh no I well well you had that long hair man you and I had an ideal lesbian haircut so if you took your old one you know right I mean ideal man yeah there's some where there's a new picture of me floating around the mother Senate Zoo minutes and I'm in a campground somewhere and I've got this long curly hair down to here with a Bob Marley t-shirt cigarette hanging out of my mouth and you could and I know exactly where we are because you can see a river in the background so I know we're at the lazy L&L campground on the Guadalupe River where we used to go to both oh wow I guess the real that's what maybe adds a real picture Wow and I'll show it to you before you go it's on the phone but it but you know they I think they kind of takes me back to even when I said so I think I even mentioned tube in a river and I think that's why I think I because I just saw that picture oh I see I remember we used to go 20 or 30 of us you know down there camp at how much [ __ ] fun it was yeah and and I mean just an unbelievable amount of fun nothing funner look forward to it every and wait to go I remember sitting in the two-man if people would maybe stop off on a shore with a chick and hook up or something or just keep drinking somebody do mushrooms somebody would drown sometimes he was like [ __ ] it you know not my time to go you know you just keep cruising one night this guy's with a girl on the side of the bank just shooting a gun into the water and we're floating up towards when I'm yelling I'm like hey and he's like he stops shooting goes what and then start shooting again in between my answer I said well you stop shooting that gun and he's like why I'm like cuz we're [ __ ] about to float by you know like that had never crossed his head you know somebody might not be hip to some small fire erm yeah I just don't you know I don't know how you know how much I could dodge right now but yeah I used to I used to I really really loved that did Whizzer you know sometimes people invite me to do stuff and I feel like it's not as much fun as it is going to do comedy for me is gonna be did you ever feel that way yeah you know people really they invite me to play a lot of golf and but I'm such a golf snob that I'm hesitant to say yeah sure I'll go spend four hours with you right on I don't know how good it is Golf Course right and so in that way yeah probably but but is anything more fun for you than doing stand-up though yeah you know I don't guess you know it's it's just so it's just so much a part of my makeup and you know who I am and that I just you know it's it's what keeps me alive and makes me feel young and you know vital and so you you know that I don't think anything's that much fun yeah me alright if it was you know he do it right I would be doing that yeah yeah you seem super vital man I appreciate your time sitting in chat with us and um yeah we'll put you know obviously all your date's out and stuff and yeah man I hope you keep going for a million more years I think that's what we got written down on the calories yeah now about a million more years yeah you know I think that that as long as I keep working and the fan Steve keeps coming out and they're gonna see no reason to you know to slow down it's not that hard who was one of your favorite people that you ever got to make laughs Hicks laughter one bit that I did it was and it was I haven't forgot how it was set up but it was going to the desk of the hotel god you don't even wake up call for seven o'clock and the lady goes mr. white is 5/7 I said no the next one I think you got another one coming around so Hicks with Hicks was at the show yeah so and I didn't see him laughs somebody else said that's cool all right I had to lift you up huh oh yeah yeah yeah for me it was Damon Wayans one night in the back of the room I heard him laugh and I'd heard him laugh growing up on television and it just like oh so you recognize the sound of it like that and it just was like that's it that's awesome yeah Ron thanks so much for your time man and um and I'll see you around the Comedy Store man thanks for having me on your show yeah you bet [Music] it's gonna take little time for me to set that parking brake [Music]

Channel: Theo Von

Views: 269,346

Rating: 4.8582277 out of 5

Keywords: theo von, this past weekend, tpw, brendan schaub, kats, king and the sting, bryan callen, below the belt, the fighter and the kid, tfatk, tfatk army, congrulations, congratulations podcasta, congratulations pod, chris delia, joe rogan, joe rogan experience, jre, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, bertcast, bert kreischer, joey diaz, church of whats happening now, ron white, blue collar comedy tour, jeff foxworthy, bill engvall, larry the cable guy, blue collar

Id: JZsYifKaWrU

Length: 70min 26sec (4226 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 06 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Fapple__Pie]

This could be a wildly unpopular opinion - but I think Theo’s podcasts with guests are tough to listen to sometime. They either don’t get his humor or they don’t appreciate the ridiculous shit he says (what makes him so funny) when they’re in the middle of a story or something.

Prime example was the Jim Jeffries episode when he asked Jim if he thought polio was a necessary evil.

Idk, he’s so funny in his own way. It just doesn’t seem to jive with guests very well. This episode has the same awkward feel to it.

[u/mavric_ac]

It's like Theo's meeting his dad for the first time

[u/[deleted]]

Man I've been waiting for this since Theo posted it on his instagram, but Ron's vibe in the beginning at least is way off. He either seems sad or totally uninterested.

[u/vevoxr]

Sincere curiosity: do y'all like when Theo is getting deep with his guests and not joking around as much? I personally enjoy his podcast most when he's just joking and tend to avoid interviews with little of it.

[u/sumeetg]

Don't think he gets Theo's humor.

[u/[deleted]]

Bro Shakey Graves is so god damn good I can’t believe Ron dropped his name. I promise you’ll enjoy a three song journey through his YouTube channel

[u/[deleted]]

This episode sucked.