REMEMBER THE TITANS and Dealing with Conflict with Special Guest JTM

these two groups of people just like leaving you know let's just say like the world or the media and just like okay who are you and why do you feel this way yeah and then they were able to understand each other and be unified so i don't know anybody know what this place is this is gettysburg hello and welcome to cinema therapy i'm jonathan decker i'm a licensed therapist and i love movies i'm alan searight i am an unlicensed filmmaker and i desperately need therapy and this is james curran he is a modern day renaissance man what are you how do you you do all the things you do all the things yeah i am i'm an entrepreneur i i make some music [Music] i make guacamole i mean now what can i not do i mean that's that's the perfect man right there entrepreneur music maker makes guacamole yeah yeah i'm actually most proud of my guacamole really of all the things that i've ever done see and that is terrifying because i love this man's music i've been listening to it for years now i've really got to try the guacamole so we uh asked you to come join us for movies that changed me and what is the movie that changed you that you wanted to share with us um it's my favorite movie which is remember the titans favorite film so yeah i absolutely love this movie we're gonna break down some clips and things but can you give us a little teaser of why it's your favorite film like a mission statement why remember the titans is yeah i think it gives everything that is good in movies into one thing and then on top of that it shows um probably the most important thing for in my opinion that can teach humanity which is if you are willing to get vulnerable and if you're willing to learn about people that you don't understand you will see them the way that they should be seen which is equals yeah i mean i just feel i feel all the emotions i feel all the things when i watch this movie and i i think it teaches so many things i can't tell you how many times i've watched the news lately and thought when it's not news all the networks should have like at one time just remember the titans so that our country will just watch remember the titans and kind of figure they're out oh my gosh yeah man are you smiling yes yes sir yes sir why are you smiling because i love football football's fun fun sir fun sir it's fun yes you sure i think now you're thinking first you smile then you think you think football is still fun yeah can we all just have can we just have denzel be the national coach he should be the national life coach yeah he's just that's it is it fun no sir no no absolutely not zero fun sir all right listen up i'm coach boone i remember i think it was like a month ago i was driving down the street and on one side was this giant group of of black lives matter and this other group of blue lives matter and i just envisioned this uh this movie where one of the beginning scenes is this giant group of people protesting this integration of the school yeah and if it feels very very similar to something that was happening in the 60s and all of it got solved by two groups these two groups of people just like leaving you know let's just say like the world or the media and just like okay who are you and why do you feel this way yeah and then they were able to understand each other and be unified so i don't know anybody know what this place is this is gettysburg and it doesn't feel like 50 years ago is what is that that's what i hear you saying it feels very contemporary like you're watching this it feels like this feels like it should be just on the news well we have an interesting scene here where they're finally starting to break down some barriers i believe all right man listen i'm gary you're julius let's get some particulars and just get this over with all right ridiculous yeah no matter what i tell you you ain't gonna never know nothing about it listen i ain't running any more of these three days okay what i got to say you really don't want to hear cause honesty ain't too high up on your people priorities right you can't run over everybody in this league and every time you do you leave one of your teammates hanging out to drive me in particular why should i give a hoot about you huh or anybody else out there you want to talk about the ways you the captain right right captain's supposed to be the leader right right you got a job i haven't you've been doing your job i've been doing my job then why don't you tell your white buddies to block for rev better cause they have not blocked for him or for plug nickel and you know it nobody plays yourself included i'm supposed to wear myself out for the team what team no no what i'm going to do is i'm going to look out for myself and i'm going to get mine man i want to have commentary but it's such a strong scene that's the worst attitude i ever heard attitude reflect leadership captain that's one of the sickest brothers the best mic drop line so you picked the scene why does this scene speak to you so strongly i think it's just like honest conversation like it's like two people like finally expressing their concerns with each other and uh gary bertier is actually you can kind of see it in his eyes he's like oh you're right like i have these flaws so i i just think he's he's he's starting to understand okay i can step it up i understand why you feel this way and this is a very critical moment i mean this is where the relationship starts to transition well that makes me think i mean i so i'm a therapist and i work a lot with couples but also just a people in relationships period and a lot of people are conflict avoidant they don't want to have what they're afraid is going to be an ugly unproductive com or explosive conversation so they just bury it and they stuff it and then things don't get resolved and here we've got such a brilliant example of that's actually conflict is healthy i like to say that if you're growing a relationship garden conflict is like manure it stinks and nobody likes it but it's necessary for growth right and so they're having this conflict but it's in the open and even though they get passionate neither of them goes so far as to lose control or to just be angry like they're actually stating their case and hearing each other and it's registering and they're they're not resorting to character attacks right they're not you're a bad person right because of this they're just saying look it's this is what you're doing wrong yeah it's about the issue it's not it's not an attack on the character yeah and i do love the only the only thing that makes this film step away a little bit from feeling completely realistic to me is that it's a pg disney film so he's like why should i give a hoot about you i frankly think we should bring it back yeah yeah more hoops people should give more hoots or not give them as they see fit yeah after them talk to them you know choose your own adventure that's our next one once just one time i swear to god i'm gonna hit you so hard by the time you come to oh boy you're gonna need a new haircut you understand me let's play i think i was that guy when i played lacrosse in rugby and now i regret it i regret it deeply you talk trash and sound kind of silly all the time come on you all right you all right you really stuck him campbell yeah i love me a little contact petey left side wrong side left side left side left side left side [Music] never underestimate the power of vaguely homoerotic bonding the very words allen and i live by on this show so awesome gosh dang it i spat across the room what i noticed in the previous scene is you know i'm gonna look out for me and mine right i mean there's there's a sort of tribalism going on and we when we talk about race and we talk about racism you know there is a there is a component of of racial superiority one group is above another there is there is a component of um having of not liking the other but for a lot of people who consider themselves decent people and not racist what it really looks like is i'm looking out for me in mine what i loved is that in the it ended with the mic drop of attitude reflects leadership and then you have the two obvious leaders of each tribe right yeah and the moment that they become friends or be they show unity to the rest of their tribe instantly the entire team follows suit yeah um so it was right like it just kind of foreshadowed what what could happen and then they did it um also i feel like it took a lot of humility for gary bertier especially in this time because i mean you got to think about it like for his entire life what he's probably 16 17 years old his entire life white people have been superior like it's the culture of america right then like we have better things of course like i'm white you're black that's just the way it is i'm just happen to be better than you yeah and he had to really humble himself to the point where you can see how shocked julius is the first time that he shows hey we're in this together he's like what's happening i this has never happened to fight with me in my entire life where you know it's like yeah is are you picking a fight that's only expect like this is the only thing i could relate this to but yeah he sees it something different yeah it's hey this is love and he responds back with love and then guess what the entire team shifts for the rest of it even i mean even in the music you can just hear it the very next scene like yeah but you talk about that that he he was looking like there's a fight being picked with me and he realizes no this is love on the subject of race or on any sort of prejudice or bias love is what changes hearts love is what changes minds we start to see a shared humanity and that's what we connect with i really wish like i like granted i i have my opinions but i i also try even with people who have these different people who have different opinions about trump or biden or blue lives matter black lives matter i i i do try to like okay let me just like put myself in their shoes um and i and i and i feel like that that's the only way for me to healthily like like live my life or else i'm gonna be very very angry all the time that's my secret cat this is why i'm angry all the time i never listen i'm always angry um yeah but but like i said in the beginning of this thing like i re i bet you if you took all these people and you just put them in and they had their room together and they had to like they had to learn things about each other and they had to depend on each other even though they had different opinions like they would start to what's the word it's like a venn diagram it would start to kind of push more yeah there'd be more overlapping yeah be more overlapped because there's more understanding yeah um but yeah yeah now coach boone had it figured out and i i should add this is my wife's favorite movie alan we joke he's my movie wife because i can geek out about movies with him yeah my wife there are movies she likes but she's not a big movie person yeah and coach boone that's how she parents and she has said to our kids and i kid you not they've asked for a drink of water and she said water for cowards water makes you weak water is for washing blood off that uniform and you don't get no blood on my uniform boy you must be outside your mind and my son just like stares at her and she's like here's your water i was like where do we go with this where do we go from there but the main thing that that scene really brings up is our sponsor lisa's passion for popcorn today for uh remember the titans gave us white chocolate flavor where we blend that's actually my karaoke stage name delicious lisa's passion for popcorn lisa's passion for popcorn.com they deliver yeah they sponsor our show that's actually my favorite flavor [Applause] [Music] hey mr fisher so coach yost at this point has been told coach if you want to stay in this game they're going to throw the game for him so that he can get the hall of fame he can become the head coach i've got holding on 78 white what are you are you trying to cheat my boys out the game oh [Music] save the world i really didn't appreciate this when this movie came out you know i was 19 years old i know all about it titus what are you talking about bill you call this game fair or i'll go to the papers i don't care if i go down with you but before god i swear i'll see every last one of you thrown in jail you dig your own grave event on me the courage that it takes to potentially torpedo your own career and i ask for your excuses everyone around you better give me a star who's telling you one thing and you go no i know what's right and that's not what you're saying yeah forget about him alan you're in come on all right well and if it doesn't require discomfort or even sacrifice then another yard you blitz all night and if they cross a line of scrimmage i'm gonna take every last one of you out you make sure they remember forever the night they played the titans i mean denzel deservedly gets a lot of accolades for his role here but will patton is fantastic in this movie as well without will patton there's no foil for denzel and it doesn't it wouldn't land nearly as hard yeah you know we're talking about doing the right thing even when it's the hard thing i'd say for me this is like a very classic example or an example of using your privilege to to help someone even you know in in spite of how what anyone's gonna think of you or even of your your own like career your own life like this is very very selfless like he could have gone right back on track of his life you know i mean he could have gone gotten the hall of fame he could have gotten the coaching job live very very comfortably it takes a lot to leave that comfortability to go and probably a lot of people who don't agree with you stand up for something else and i think that he he sacrificed he was willing to sacrifice his whole life to do the right thing because he realized it was the right thing yeah because you got to live with yourself no matter what you choose yeah right yeah from a filmmaking standpoint this movie does have a really strong script it's very good script and the performances are really strong and this movie shows you that everything else that's in movies is kind of window dressing it's nice but this movie is a very straightforward almost paint by numbers the way it's shot the way it's cut the action is fine like it feels like football it's not the best football that's ever been put on screen that's true but it's it's fine there's actually a couple like there's a couple that are kind of really bad like like he's like he's not even running like he's like oh yeah it's like a fake run like it's very obvious it's like yeah it looks like that the ones coming up yeah yeah yeah this movie proves that if you have a great script and you have a good cast uh and and a really good score by the way i'll say that the yeah the film's the music yeah the music is is great the needle drops are great and the the orchestral score that underscores things is really great i mean it's all everything else is just kind of getting out of the way you boys are doing all that you can do anybody can see that win or lose we're gonna walk out of this stadium tonight with our heads held high do your best it's all anybody going to ask for no it ain't coach in all due respect uh you demanding more of us you demanding perfection nah i ain't saying that i'm perfect cause i'm not and i ain't gonna never be none of us are but we have won every single game we have played till now so this team is perfect we stepped out on that field that way tonight and uh if it's all the same to you coach boone that's how we want to leave it you've taught this city how to trust the soul of a man rather than the look of him and i guess it's about time i joined the club herman i sure could use your help that henry's kicking my ass out there let's go it's our time everybody in our time our time half time titans on three one two three i love that moment of the student becoming the master you know julius taking what he's learned from coach boone and giving it right back to him yeah and then all the all the other little moments of sacrifice coach yost you know giving up at the at the beginning of the movie he's like i run the defense as a part of my team's strategy he asks coach boone for help so if you think about it all this humility had to happen in order for the game and if coach yost didn't uh give up defense to coach boone then they probably you know they wouldn't be in the position to win so it just shows you like hey like when you're thinking for the betterment of like the society or the team you know like and you can see and you you go through life with humility you know the better result usually happens well i think humility is like we don't grow without it we don't get better we don't heal we don't unite pride you know the reason there's a reason that's the phrase pride goeth before the fall right there's there's a type of righteous or good pride that comes from hanging your hat on a job well done you know and feeling that sense of accomplishment but there's another sense of pride that says i'm innately superior or better uh and my ideas are the only ones worth listening to and it comes from a place of insecurity it comes from a place of fear where we need to shut other people down so that we can be the big dog and be on top and you're right i'd never james i'd never thought about that before you know i i looked at a lot of themes from remember the titans but it is at its core a story of humility of people growing in humility and that's where they get their unity and that's where they get their strength is the greatest movie that's ever been made in my opinion i really think that you know america needs to remember the titans i think literally everybody i know could stand to re-watch it would be good for them good for their soul we want to thank james for joining us today and sharing his favorite movie and how it changed him alan what do we got for the fine folks at home well if you would like to watch remember the titans you can rent or buy it using the link below it's also on disney plus if you're a member of that uh and if you would like to have a 15-minute consultation with jonathan our fine therapist over here uh there's a link below for that as well we're gonna drop down there as well uh links for james's social so you can follow him and see what he's up to uh he's very creative very talented and alan and i are both huge fans which is why he's on the show you can also catch us on social media at therapy underscore cinema on twitter and instagram and on facebook so until next time left side strong's uh left side strong left side [Music] i really love james like not even watching what you did with those boys you were the right man for the job coach [Applause] your hall of fame in my books

Channel: Cinema Therapy

Views: 69,645

Rating: 4.981163 out of 5

Keywords: cinematherapy, cinema therapy, mental health, counseling, therapy, mental health therapy, Jonathan Decker, Alan Seawright, therapist reacts, remember the titans, denzel washington, will patton, remember the titans not another yard, remember the titans gettysburg scene, remember the titans speech, remember the titans best scenes

Id: vWnuk8Cq8Og

Length: 21min 38sec (1298 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 12 2020