Save your marriage with DIE HARD

today we are going to answer the age-old question die hard christmas movie or action movie that happens to take place at christmas time christmas movie and here's why because all great christmas films are about healing relationships family reconciliation falling in love and hope for the future and die hard is about all of those things is daddy coming home with you well we'll see what santa and mommy can do okay that is true it just takes a bloodier way more awesome road to get there [Music] and it's still less violent than home alone [Music] or as i like to call it die hard for kids hello and welcome to cinema therapy i'm jonathan decker and i'm just a fly in the ointment allen a monkey in the wrench and i am alan c wright and now i have a machine gun ho ho today we're going to be taking a look at die hard the 1988 classic from a different perspective it's actually a really solid guide at how to reconcile with your partner i absolutely agree it is also one of if not the greatest action movie ever made first of all if you haven't seen die hard what are you doing with your life watch it right now yeah there's a link down below rent it buy it come back watch this episode die hard it's the greatest now for those of you who are going to refuse to do that so they're not lost what's the gist of the film what's the 10 peso version john mcclane is a cop from new york i'm a cop from new york estranged from his wife change your idea of what our marriage i think you have a clue as to what my idea i know exactly what your idea of our marriage should be visits her in la goes to her company christmas party uh after he arrives there some terrorists show up john mcclane is barefoot wearing a tank top and has to defeat a whole building full of terrorists down huh it is the greatest it's a masterpiece it is it really is while we're going to be talking about couples reconciliation you'll forgive us if we indulge in the occasional action sequence it's just too awesome so let's dive in so john is riding from the airport in the limo that was sent to pick him up to go to his wife's christmas party he's going to try and reconcile with her she's been in la he's been in new york but john's sitting up front with the limo driver because john does whatever the hell he wants telephone full bar vhs just a working class guy never been in a limit before trot know a few mama bears we can hiccup with or is he married he's married okay so one of the things that people complain about is how john throughout the movie is constantly looking at attractive girls but he also obviously is you know being faithful to his wife here why'd you come with her man what's up because i'm a new york cop i've got a six-month backlog in new york scumbags i'm still trying to put behind bars i can't just pick up and go that easy so in other words you thought she wasn't gonna make it out here is he come crawling up back to you so why bothered it back right like i said you're very fast one thing about john mcclane is he is imperfect he is our hero but he's got he's got human flaws and in this case he's kind of been a punk yeah kind of been a punk to his wife so he arrives at the office building and he's going to look for his wife in the director and he's going to see what do you think i'm here to see holly mclean just type it in there look at that amazing tech audiences in 88 were like whoa yeah you have to take a leak it'll even help you find your zipper touch screens in 88 oh no maclean we don't know what gennaro means yet we don't know that that's his wife's maiden name without showing you the past history everything she would rather be known as who she was before she married him yep and that to me it speaks volumes about how far they've they've fallen and how far how distant she's pulled away from him and how much she wants to establish her own individual identity right and uh you know the the mclean slash generouses are not in a good place definitely actually it's kind of sort of a double celebration so he's up here up at the christmas party waiting for his wife meeting your they co-workers seen each other for six months great performance there by bonnie bedellian her eyes just been sticking him with spears of course he has well and a great look from bruce willis too that's relief and love and a little bit of disappointment that like what is your door saying come to watch ellis ellis well go on sean what are you embarrassed it's just a small token of appreciation for all our hard work it's a rolex i'm sure i'll see you later so john and holly just had their first interaction in front of people but let's see what happens behind closed doors yeah he thought he was god's greatest gift you know i know the type i think he's got his eye on you it's okay i have my eye in his private bathroom where are you staying this happened so fast i didn't get a chance to ask you on the phone kathy roberts retired out here oh yeah tell me i could bunk in with him he wasn't assuming he'd stay with her where'd he live is he from new york cause he does new york really well he is from new york half the time why don't we make it easy i have a spare bedroom i mean it's not huge or anything but kids would love to have you at the house tries to make it about them doesn't want to be vulnerable yet she lets her guard down i would too there it is that's an 80s christmas party just looking for a space and that 80s hair can that come back i missed you i love that she's finally she's trying here yeah she really is and he got too angry and too hurt to meet her there she didn't miss my name though except maybe when you're signing checks it's just why didn't you start using ms gennaro it's a japanese company they figure a married woman's you are a married woman holly you're married to me right no matter what the consequences no matter what it did to our marriage you had to do anything to our marriage except maybe change your idea of what our marriage i think you have a clue as to what my idea i know exactly what your idea of our marriage should be not listening to each other just talking over each other excuse me um mr takagi is looking for i mean holly did get vulnerable for a second but then the walls went right back up as soon as he didn't let his down yeah the moment he got critical each time because he was trying to control her through criticism and he knows it because here's where he i love this this is fantastic he hates himself for it that's great john good job very mature so one of the one of the traits of john mcclane is that he talks to himself right which for a lot of characters that doesn't work it's a terrible trope bruce willis and the writing like john mcclane is so much fun when he talks to himself throughout this entire picture come on to the coast we get together have a few laughs yeah but here you see the reality of a lot of times when we act like if i act like an ass in an argument with my wife i know i've acted like it oh yeah immediately i do the same thing that john mcclane doesn't hit my head on something real mature good good job and so step number one for reconciling right for couples reconciliation is to look in the mirror and john's literally i mean this is nice this nice filmmaking here he's literally looking in the mirror while he's chiding himself for his behavior because he has to start with him and he tried to start with her here's something you're doing that i don't like and i'm going to call you out on it and we think well if i do that then they're going to fix it or they're going to know how i feel and then the problem will go away because i fixed it but you nailed it her walls went right back up yep she tried after six months to reconnect with him and the first thing he does is criticize her for not taking his last name and it seems like it's reigniting a previous argument right yeah the assumption is the context here is they had this exact same argument when she took the job six months ago yeah and he says we never finished this conversation and she says you never listened to me it was done then and this is how you do exposition without it feeling like exposition exactly because we know everything we need to know from this moment without it being like laid out on a platter without a flashback like it's all just in this conversation it's a 90-second scene that is an argument and it tells us everything we need to know about her about him it's it's brilliant filmmaking it's spectacular writing this reminds me of couples therapy oftentimes early on not later but early on when couples start fighting i will sit there where's my popcorn i will sit there and basically what couples are fighting i will do this and i'll sit there and watch them fight speaking of which i got birthday cake white chocolate why because it makes me happy and die hard makes me happy that's the only reason what do you got raspberry dream because uh it looks like it's covered in blood and we'll get there you got me a lot of blood to me passion for popcorn but i'll sit there and i'll let couples fight because you can learn a lot about them from how they fight now later on that's not productive but awesome awesome stuff action break die hard die hard welcome to the party pal die hard die hard so terrorists have taken over the building and john is doing guerrilla warfare to fight back protect his wife save the hostages things like that and uh they keep trying to kill him and as per the title die hard he is difficult to kill very hard to kill so here comes a terrorist coming in reacting to the fact that they still haven't killed john mcclane yet meet carl just your happy friendly stereotypical german that man looks really pissed he's still alive only john can drive somebody that crazy that is the best spouse mic drop line in film history come at me in the comments so what's beautiful about this is holly's recognizing something when we love somebody it's they're sides of a coin the things that you love about them are it's just the other side of the coin are the things that drive you crazy if i'm if i'm married to somebody who's very driven and motivated i'm likely also married to somebody who can be kind of callous or blunt if i'm married to somebody who's tender and sensitive and warm i'm usually also married to somebody who is over sensitive or takes offense easily right there's it's size to a coin and holly's been thinking about how stubborn john is and how how bullheaded he is and how just obnoxious he is there are rules for policemen yeah so my captain keeps telling me and these are the very things that are saving the day like these very treats are saving the day and she's recognizing there's a side to this that i love and so when she says only john can drive someone that crazy she doesn't say it with annoyance that's how the line is delivered right oh yeah the the line is delivered like tenderly and lovingly and and with you know a sense of relief that like oh good and so so the second thing is to appreciate the differences a lot of couples like i have couples break their differences into categories they are deal breakers things you tolerate and things you appreciate and a lot of people have things in the deal breakers that actually should be in the tolerate right and things in the tolerate category that actually should be in the appreciate category so appreciating the differences is key and in really unhealthy relationships they have appreciate that should be deal breakers i've killed people before run it does not matter why i am a murderer fine we talk about the twilight films on this channel watch those absolutely action break die hard hard shoot the glass did you just burst a blood vessel in your eye you look like you're in die hard now john is barefoot all that glass has just been broken his feet are bleeding he's now in the bathroom and now he's starting to actually doubt he's gonna make it out he's really thinking he's gonna die yeah he's gonna have sergeant powell relay a message to his wife and uh pay attention to what he says and how he says it pal yo pal you got a minute i'm here john listen man i'm starting to get a bad feeling up here i want you to do something for me um i want you to find my wife don't ask me how by then you'll know how uh i want you to tell her something i want you to tell her that um i thought it took me a while to figure out uh what a jerk i've been but um that that when things started to pan out for her i should have been more supportive and uh and i just should have been behind her more this is the scene that made bruce willis a movie star everybody thinks it's the action that she is the best thing that ever happened to a bum like me she's already saying i love you a thousand times she never heard me say i'm sorry i want you to tell that allen when you tell her that uh john said that he was sorry okay he got batman yeah i got it john but you can tell that yourself you just watch your ass and you'll make it out of there you hear me well so john mcclane is a very macho masculine character and here he's actually taking a very big step into vulnerability and honestly it's beautiful and it's it's one of the things that is needed to make things right with your partner is taking ownership john here is completely humble right he's not a lot of times we take we an apology looks like i'm sorry and then a hard left into blaming the other person yeah right i'm sorry that i did this but you shouldn't have done that and that's why i did this instead he just says look i should have been behind her more yeah i i should i should have been more supportive she's the best thing that ever happened to a bum like me and i love the line she's heard me saying i love you a thousand times but she's never heard me say i'm sorry and the thing we should take away from this i mean john he's awesome he's kind of an idiot yeah like like relationship obviously he's a great cop and he's great at plucking off terrorists you know but he's but when it comes to his marriage he's he's an idiot now to john's credit he knows this right but don't wait until things are dire don't wait till you're pulling glass out of your feet and people are dying to take ownership and to be vulnerable and to apologize right that you can do it so much sooner and then actually change the behavior and we're gonna see you know what we learned from this this is not just a deathbed apology john actually makes changes action break we're both professionals die hard this is personal die hard die hard die hard die hard die hard you should have heard your brother squeal the fourth thing that we're going to talk about actually isn't about john it's about holly so we're gonna watch this clip of holly and then we're gonna talk about it but holly has been tasked with actually confronting the villainous hans gruber and giving the hostages list of demands so that everything can be okay and chill there and this is such a brilliant scene that tells us a lot about holly one of the things i love about this scene too a lot of people consider hans gruber the villain in this movie to be the greatest movie villain of all time this scene is one of the reasons why because he actually shows some humanity and like is not just a cartoon villain the entire time yeah he's reasonable he's measured he has a bit of a sense of humor mm-hmm it's a brilliant performance from alan rickman really strong writing and bonnie bedelia hebedelia is just crushing it yeah i have a request what idiot put you in charge you did when you murdered my boss the backbone on her is looking to me personally i pass on the job i don't enjoy and the immediate anger from him and then she makes the joke and he cracks it he softens i don't like being this close to you he respects her yep go on we have a pregnant woman out there relax she's not due for a couple of weeks he rolls his eyes on that rock isn't doing her backing deal with this so i would like permission to move her to one of the offices where there's a sofa but i'll have a surfer brought out to you good enough good enough and unless you like it messi i'd start bringing us in groups to the bathroom yes you're right it will be done was there something else there are flaws in his plan you know he hasn't thought about taking care of the hostages and he's like yeah fair point mr takagi chose his people well mrs gennaro miss gennaro oh man in that scene i'm like she's as cool as john is oh more so like john wouldn't handle that situation well he wouldn't he'd end up in some kind of awesome action thing by the end of it but he wouldn't handle it that well he'd freak out and be dumb yeah he would he would and she shows herself as cool calm and collected so to me when i talk we're talking about couples reconciliation is part of it is you have to take care of yourself a lot of times we want our partner to take care of us and to and to take care of all of our needs and that's just not realistic because they got their own crap they're dealing with they got their own emotions they got their own fires they're putting out and so part of being in a healthy relationship is i'm counting on you but i can't count on you for everything and holly just steps up like a boss and completely handles this she literally is the boss now and hans totally responds with respect to it yeah another thing i love is that holly refuses to be leveraged by denying her association with john right right now hans doesn't know that they're married and when she says miss gennaro it is not like before her claiming her maiden name as an act of individuality or defiance to her husband it is i'm i'm keeping a level head and i will refuse to be used as bait and you know again all of that storytelling is done without her telling the audience the only clues that we get to that is she looks down we see the picture that has been put down with john's face on it and then her line and delivery which when she turns to him and says miss gennaro you know to hans it's just oh this is a confident woman being confident but we know there's a there's a wink in there yeah it's just a fantastic scene action break oh god please don't let me die die hard die oh so even though holly tries to conceal her identity as john's wife the wife of the nemesis of hans gruber the fact is hans finds out and he finds out because the reporter i forget his name but he's awful and he's awful at ghostbusters so here we're going to see what happens when he outs her without meaning to by trying to pursue his career and blow this story and he goes and he interviews her family on the tv and we'll see what hans does here okay time to gather your flock miss gennaro you know your mom and dad are very important people they're very brave people so there's something you'd like to say to them if they're watching come home like mom and dad who's the dad this is maclean freaking masterpiece now she's scary on us to make your acquaintance [Music] okay so there are outside threats here hans is definitely a threat to this family to this marriage but so is the reporter and so part of what we need to do when we're trying to reconcile is to protect our relationship from outside threats whether it be a flirtatious co-worker whether it be a family member or a friend who's talking smack about your partner or your spouse and trying to drive a wedge between you there are outside threats of plenty that will threaten to tear you apart and so the undercurrent here is we're going to see what happens to the reporter and we're going to see what happens to hans but in order for john and holly to be together and to be reconciled those outside threats have to be dealt with that being said i would not personally recommend that you deal with outside threats to your relationship by dropping them off a building or punching them in a face or shooting them or shooting them yeah we'll leave that to the professionals so let's see what happens so holly's been taken john's fought his way up to her up and down to her and here we go happy trails hans so here's the watch it's a rolex it's the rolex and ellis was set up as a quasi threat to the marriage not a serious one but he did have his eye on holly yeah and this is symbolically you know this is a threat to the marriages this watch so we let go of that we eliminate hans poor allen rickman dropped too early drops too early so his fear is real they were gonna give him to a count of three and they dropped him on one [Music] but they've eliminated that threat and and they get to have the bloodiest grossest kiss ever but you feel it you get the warm fuzzies that you should from a christmas movie absolutely and so this brings us full circle here to the end where the bad guys have been eliminated or so we think and you have to watch the movie but but i want to pay attention to what happens here when it seems that the threat's been eliminated and they're exiting the building and what we can pull from this this last scene here so they're meeting for the first time they've been talking on the walkie-talkie this whole movie these new bosom buddies i love that they see each other and they just know what the other just looks like because you can [Music] look exactly like you sounded on the radios [Music] i love bruce willis's noises how is my wife ollie how did you know holly mcplay so what we see here when john says this is my wife holly holly gennaro molly gennaro yeah is that he's walking the walk right that apology he made earlier wasn't just talk he is supporting her choices even the most painful choice for him that she took her maiden name instead of his name he is supporting that and he is honoring her and she in turn when she says holly maclean she's showing that because you honor me i'm honoring you i'm honoring us she's not taking the name of mclean because he's insisting that she take it right she is making a choice after he made the choice to support her yeah decision and when and and you get you give respect to get respect and that's how healthy relationships work and when he honors her choices she honors their relationship she honors him she honors his choices like die hard in all honesty is a blueprint for how to reconcile when your relationship is a strange it's one of the reasons why this film is so strong is because it's we remember all the action beats and all the great one-liners and stuff but what carries it through and what sets it apart even from you know at least half of its own sequels is that all of its own sequels i like the third one yeah the third one's pretty doesn't have the strong relationship stuff though no is that they take the time to set this up and there's actually a through line that means something this is such it's a masterpiece of screenwriting of acting of story structure and it is a christmas film because it's about family reconciliation now we talked about protecting your relationship from outside threats right john eliminated hans but we still got one threat left to deal with there is still one mr replay mr mclean now that it's all over after this incredible ordeal what are your feelings william atherton world's most punchable faces [Music] and then like so many great christmas films before swelling christmas music and a true love's kiss i mean come on and driving away into the snow of falling debris papers and debris and like most christmas films yep that is the choice he made and i'm going to honor that choice because we are movie spouses so if you haven't seen die hard there's a link down below to rent or buy it if you'd like to work on your relationship and reconcile i have a free 15-minute consultation link down below you can catch us on our socials at therapy underscore cinema on twitter and instagram you can also find us on facebook please watch die hard please watch die hard it's the die hardiest die hard that ever die hearted so until next time lady do i sound like i'm ordering the pizza yippee kaye mother of my children and watch movies [Music] of partial to roy rogers actually i really like those sequin shirts

Channel: Cinema Therapy

Views: 311,607

Keywords: cinematherapy, cinema therapy, mental health, counseling, therapy, mental health therapy, Jonathan Decker, Alan Seawright

Id: dBHejcVG4ww

Length: 29min 58sec (1798 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 04 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/invah]

'And in really unhealthy relationships, people have things in the "appreciate" category that should be in the "dealbreakers" category', and then they cut to Edward in Twilight trying to warn Bella off. 🤣