- Today our stomachs walk the plank. - Let's parlay about that. (groovy electronic music) - Good Mythical Morning. - Before we get to the matter at hand, do you want to make an appearance on the official Mythical Instagram? - Yes.
- Well tag @Mythical while wearing Mythical
apparel and accessories and you just might get picked
to be featured on the account. I like it, heart. - It is International
Talk Like A Pirate Day which is the world's third
most celebrated holiday right behind International
Listen Like A Pirate Day and International Emotionally
Understand Like A Pirate Day. - Oh okay so to celebrate, we're turning our stomachs
into the seven seas and somehow catching scurvy in 2019 by bringing food from iconic
pirate movies to life. It's time for Real Fake Food--
(Link coughs) (Rhett laughs) Pirate Edition.
- You okay? Hold your arms up.
- I don't if I can-- - Hold your arms up--
- I don't know if I can keep up with this. - Okay, pirates were
known to feast on things like suckling pigs and salted
meats and that sounds great but when things got desperate
and their Postmates drivers were taking too long, crews were forced to eat truly disgusting things. - So today we're gonna be
chowing down on some meals we've recreated from our
favorite pirate movies and by the end of this, we'll
have a better understanding of why pirates were always
talking about their booty. - (chuckles) Arr. (adventurous music) - Okay let's begin with one of
the most iconic pirate movies of all time. - "Pirates of the Caribbean." - "Hook." It had swashbucklin', walking the plank, and enough pirate food to
feed an entire generation of lost boys, watch a clip. - I cannot--
- Wait for what? Whether it be three days or three decades, he will always be a fat, old Pan. Oh I hate being disappointed, Smee, and I hate living in this flawed body and I hate living in Neverland and I hate, I hate, I hate Peter Pan! - Can you imagine how
frustrating it was to film that? Nope, nope, nope, move it. - Lining it up.
- Move the hook. Move the hook, nope, move the hook. Hoffman, move the hook. That was Hoffman's peak by
the way, not "Rain Man." Okay, according to famous
ex-pirate William Dampier, pirates sometimes ate
fried locust so it's safe to assume that Smee, that
other guy's name was Smee-- - Yes.
- Spit out a fried locust. - Bring in the locust to the bow! - Avast, ye mateys.
- Oh yeah. - I be a modern pirate. Would you guys like to buy a copy of "Where'd You Go Bernadette"? (Rhett laughs) I downloaded it from BitTorrent. - No thank you.
- All right. - I can tell you're a modern
pirate 'cause of your glasses. - Oh yes, I go to that Lens Crafters. - [Link] Oh. (Rhett laughs) Sponsor?
- Oh wow. He's got at least 10 DVDs back there. - Oh my gosh so--
- And more on my hard drive. - Woo!
(Rhett laughs) Smells like fertilizer. - It actually smells like Red Man. - You talking about chewing tobacco? - Yeah.
- Not a sponsor. - It's has like--
- Lens Crafters and Red Man.
- It has a chewing tobacco, not that I would know. Not that I grew up in North
Carolina and tried it once. - [Link] Okay. - [Rhett] Okay I'm just gonna pick one. - And what do we have here? - This is grog.
- That is grog. - (chuckles) This is, okay, apparently the fresh sea water on pirate
ships was so disgusting that they had to add
alcohol to make it palatable so this is algae-filled water with rum. I really don't understand this at all. - It gets ya drunk. And that's all you need.
- Smell that, that's worse. - Oh! - It's like I need to wash
this down with a locust. - Smells like an alcoholic aquarium. Come on, man.
- You have a handful? - Yeah.
- Okay, why not? - Gotta get your protein on the ship. Dink it, knock it. Knock it back. - Wow.
- Not bad. - There's no flavor on that. - It's kinda sour. - Lots of protein though. - Looking at it kinda freaks me out. But tastin' it, it's just like
eating dried up corn husks. - That makes a nice pirate sound. - Glug glug glug glug glug. - Now from the look of
this and the smell of it, it does seem like something that people in Silverlake would be like,
"Have you had the grog?" - That's where you live, isn't it? - Yes, I used to live in Echo Park. (Rhett laughs) - And they would drink
it and make bitter faces but try to act like they were enjoying it. - Yeah they would.
- They would also pay $14 for a small cup of it. - It's vegan. - [Rhett] It's not bad. - Oh, it's--
- It's not bad. It's totally worth the
money I just threw on it. - It's horrible, put your face
in an un-cared for aquarium-- - It's not bad.
- And just suck it down. I mean that's really
what this tastes like. - It's not bad, can you tell? - Not a pirate's life for me. - If you make this face,
it actually tastes okay. - I'm already makin'. (adventurous music) Now moving onto the second
most iconic pirate movie of all time. - "Pirates of the Caribbean." - The 2002 Disney film "Treasure Planet." - Okay I haven't heard of that. But we really wanted to make
a pirate meal from space. - Yeah.
- Or as I like to call it, the eighth sea. - Oh (chuckles), all right, let's see what these space pirates ate. (adventurous music) - Here, now. Have a taste of me famous bonzabeast stew. (Delbert sniffs) - Mm! Delightfully tangy, yet robust. - [Silver] Old family recipe. (Delbert gasps) - Well the fact that it
has a eyeball coming out of it makes me unhappy that
we're tasting bonzabeast stew. - Yeah that's what we're gonna have. We're gonna have bonzabeast
stew served to us by our very own other pirate. (chuckles) - Yarr. I be a Pittsburgh Pirate. - I see that.
- I kinda misunderstood the assignment.
(Rhett laughs) Here's your--
- I like the way you did a half-assed pirate accent though. - Trying to yeah, re-claim it. Arr.
- There you go, Chase. - [Chase] Arr. - (chuckles) Wow. - [Link] What, but Chase,
tell me what's in this. - Arr, okay.
(Rhett laughs) So this is our bonzabeast stew. It's got pickled herring,
anchovies, pigeon meat, grease grits and a buncha eyeballs. (Link gags)
Arr. - Eyeballs.
- That's a half a pigeon. (crew laughing) - [Link] And that right
there is an eyeball. - Is it a pigeon eyeball? If so their eyes are a lot bigger than I remember. (chuckles) - What is this an eyeball from? - Probably lamb. - Yarr, they be grouper eyeballs, yarr. - It's a fish eyeball.
- Grouper, okay. That's better. - I don't, I don't know about,
I don't know about this. - Oh I know about it. - What you know about this? - I know it's gonna be
very difficult to eat. - Eyeballs.
- But I think you gotta put yourself in that frame of mind that you've been out on the sea. - Yeah and I'm just bobbin' around. - You know you're gonna just
throw it up later anyway. - I'll eat the pigeon part,
you eat the eyeball part. - No, we both have to, the
eyeballs are the best part, man. Aye. - Aye, ball. (Rhett chuckles) Arr, ball. - There's some kinda weird
elementary school joke about the vowels. Aye, arr. (Rhett grunts) I'll come up with it later.
(both laughing) Oh, eye. (chuckles) That's the joke, I didn't
even realize I made one. - That's what we've been
saying the whole time. - (chuckles) Yeah. Hey, get it yourself an
eye and let's eat it, man. - Get it yourself an eye. At least I'm gonna pick a small one. There's not a small one. - You know how it's gonna go. It's gonna be really hard to eat this, there's glass in it, you know. It's got that lens part
that's really hard. It's not glass, I realize that,
but it's very hard to eat. Just bite down on it, come on, let's just, do your job. (both laughing) - That's what we've come to. Okay, all right, I respect that. - Do your job, man.
(Link laughs) Come on! (Link whimpering) (Link gags) (both retching) - Aye, it's so greasy. - Aw man! I tried! - Aye, tried. - I tried to get it down.
(Link grunts) - Aye. - I embarrass meself. (laughs) (Rhett grunts) (Link coughs) I don't like the boys to see me do that. - I go back into my corridors to retch. - I do that on my own. Oh.
- Woo! Okay we tried.
- I mean I'll bite a little bit of this. - Bite yourself a pigeon. I don't really think you can get pigeon. It's probably pheasant? - It's like a baby turkey.
- It's pigeon. (crew laughing) - It's pigeon, we got pigeon. - That's not bad. Pigeon not bad after eating
grouper eyeball. (chuckles) - Okay. Dark. (adventurous music) Okay, now we're finally getting
to the third most iconic pirate movie of all time. - "Captain Phillips." - "Pirates of the Caribbean." We're there now. Okay despite popular belief,
most pirates were not raw vegan and in fact, in times of desperation, they were known to actually eat the flesh of fellow pirates as teased in "Pirates of the Caribbean:
Dead Man's Chest." (rhythmic drumming music) - He just bit the nail off. He didn't actually eat--
- You know Johnny Depp, he's very method too. He really did that, Link. - That was a real toe?
- Yeah. - Oh goodness. We are not gonna eat human flesh. - It was his assistant's toe. Okay, no we're not going
to eat human flesh. Instead we're going to try another food that pirates would eat in desperate times: fried leather satchels, everybody. - Walk the fried leather satchel plank. - Arr, eat up mateys. And eat it while it's hot, otherwise it's just regular leather. - Okay.
- That's less good. - Okay, I've been told that we've got some actual fried leather somewhere in here. There's a piece.
- Okay. So untanned leather with a little bit of fabric on it. - So this hasn't been
through the toxic process. - Dink it, oh and, Rhett,
you should tell the people why you're wearing your specific shirt that you're wearing today. - Oh I think they can figure that out. - Oh, dink it and sink it. Oh.
- It's good, right? - It's impenetrable. - Arr, avast ye, mateys. This be my part of the YouTube seas. - Are you from the NPAA? - No I'm from Pittsburgh.
- Oh. (both grunting) It's a very plastic sword. (both grunt) Oh, my hand. - Yes, I am the captain now. - Look at that. We've had a workplace accident. Change the sign! - And he lost a--
- Zero days. - He lost a hand but then the hand lost-- - A finger. - A finger here. - Okay, now, the reason
that we have this hand here is because real life cannibal accounts say that human flesh tastes
similar to veal and pork but much more bitter so it's convenient that that's what Chase's
hand is actually made out of. - Oh how convenient.
- Veal, pork, and a bitter agent. - Oh my goodness. - You wanna just take
the finger that came off? - [Link] What is the, is that-- - Those are, that's nails. - That's nails? - [Crew Member] Fingernails. - Yeah, they put human fingernails into, and they didn't try to make
them look like real fingernails. They just sorta stuck two
in the end of each finger. - I'm not gonna eat that part. - Oh I wouldn't, I wouldn't. - Stop smiling so large. - I wouldn't recommend that. - Okay and look at this, I'm gonna-- - Yep, bones. - Shouldn't have pulled those out. - Anatomically correct wrist bones. A-dink your finger. - Bitter--
- And eat your finger. - Pork and veal is human. I actually thought of it as
human and it made me sick but I know it's not really human. - No but think of it as human
because it might happen. We might need to do this. I been trying to mentally prepare myself to eat other people for a long time. - How's that coming along? - Good. - Eat the nail. - Mine doesn't have any nails. - Oh, too bad. Mine does, here, take
that piece right there. - No I don't need to eat the nail. - Not nearly as bad as fish eyeball stew. Oh that was a nightmare. - Yeah, it's not that bad. I think I could do people. - Okay, well we've
learned something today. - Yarr, thank you for liking,
commenting and subscribing. - You know what time it is. - We are Ye Banished Privateers. World-famous buccaneer band
from the north of Sweden. And we--
(glass shatters) - It's time to spin the
Wheel of Mythicality. - Whoa-ho.
- Whoa! - Hey, what?
- Dang! - Production value. - All that just for that? - Yep, they all dressed
up just for that, Link. They weren't already doing
something as pirates. Click the top link to watch
us guess the pirate slang. - And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land. - [Rhett] Mythical wristbands
in assorted colors. Now available at Mythical.com. Collect 'em all.
This was some pure, old school GMM fun. And Matt crushed it.
Real character development is seeing R&L scream and gag and puke in season 5 from eating bugs and then watching them act like fried locusts isn't a big deal in season 15 :P
Knock it, dock it, sink it