r/AmiTheA**Hole For NOT Giving My Friend's DOG Back Unless She PAYS ME?

g'day there guys the only thing i'm growing this spring is older and more irritable and on that notes it's marky welcome back to another episode of r slash am i the a-hole if you enjoyed today's content tell me what you think about it down below sit back relax and enjoy the show posted by user dictionary candy titled am i the a-hole for not giving my friend's dog back unless she pays me for it characters are me my friends camus owner cindy and the dog kamu backgrounds a year ago my 30 female friend 30 female was going to europe for a couple of weeks on a vacation she asked me to dog-sit her dog camu who i adored so i said i would do it for free however at the end of the two weeks she called me telling me that she was staying in europe she had met someone there and she wouldn't answer any questions about when she would be back i texted her with questions about what to do with kamu because the food she gave me was almost out i didn't get a reply the story last week cindy came back and said she wanted camus back apparently her boyfriend broke up with her because she cheated so i didn't have much sympathy i told her no the deal was for a couple of weeks and it's been a year and i feel like camo is my dog now we've bonded a lot and she left for a year with no explanation and i had gotten attached to her she threatened to sue me which she can because camo is still legally hers i told her she could have camry back if she paid me for her i calculated the cost of keeping her for a year minus the two weeks at the beginning when i said it would be free the cost of food grooming and vet bills came to about two thousand five hundred dollars but i've also been taking care of her i charged her the pet sitter rates that i've seen but on the lower ends and it came to ten thousand dollars i told her that she could have camu if she gave me the ten thousand dollars i'm not even adding the other 2500 and now she's calling me an a-hole her lawyer said that they'd see me in court and i've hired a lawyer who said i'm in the clear but now i'm wondering if i'm being an a-hole camu is cindy's dog after all and in the beginning i did say i would pet it for free reddits am i the a-hole i have no clue about this situation but she is an a-hole for disappearing and not saying anything about the dog she just straight up abandons the dog she's basically in my mind she's signed over any claim that she has to this dog when she abandoned it now she wants it back after a year of abandoning the dog would we say the same about abandoning a kid you know like oh i want my kid back now that i've come back from overseas for a year i see them being similar but not exactly the same but i wouldn't give a dog back if i'd owned it for a year no way you abandoned the poor thing he's got a better family here that won't run away from him so i'm gonna say not the a-hole edits thanks for all the advice i didn't know that there were laws about this i assumed cindy would still be the legal owner as she never signed over the papers not the a-hole that's not pet-sitting she abandoned her dog and you became its caretaker best of luck in court jumping on the top comment is to say not the a-hole but please don't give the dog back to someone who can abandon her so easily i can't imagine just leaving my dogs in a different country if you've bonded with the dog and you've been taking good care of it like it seems then please keep the dog she loved her new guy more than the dog and loved cheating on her new guy more than she loved her new guy so by the transitive property she loved being a dog more than she loved her dog buy enough of a margin to abandon the ladder and not care about what happened to him cindy's not the owner of the dog any longer she's just a dog now not the a-hole i'm no lawyer but regular people logic says she abandon it and you having paid for all of its needs have become the rightful owner not the a-hole i agree and also not a lawyer there must be some time frame for abandonment as op said the dog is legally hers i'm not sure that's the case and she may have given up legal ownership after such a long period of time i believe in the u.s an animal is considered legally abandoned after two to eight weeks depending on the state of no financial support from the owner so after a month or two the dog was no longer considered the friends in the eyes of the law info she threatened to sue me which she can because kamu is legally still hers technically if the original agreement was for two weeks and she ignored your entreaties for a year then no kamu is abandoned property dogs aren't children even though it often feels that way they are legally considered chateau and the same law applies to them as a horse or a pig she surrendered ownership and then she failed to respond to your outreach especially for a year i would try to work this one out equitably and if the issue is money return camu then exercise your right to sue and expect to win for recompensation for the cost of caring for kamu if you are truly bonded with kamu and the money isn't the issue then let the court decide but don't blackmail her it'll distract the ultimate verdict good to know thank you i will look into the laws regarding this for my state updates am i the a-hole for not giving my friend's dog back unless she pays me for it cindy's cousin is her lawyer and he told her that it would take several months until the case would get seen and she responded that that was way too long and i could just keep the damn dog i believe her change of heart was somewhat motivated by the fact she's met a new boyfriend and doesn't really have time to take care of camo anymore but camo was staying with me which is all i wanted thank you guys so much for helping me realize that cindy abandoned camu and to not feel bad about keeping her that's certainly easier than a court case however one make sure you get documentation of the conversation screenshots whatever send an email confirming if it was verbal just confirming that you are relinquishing camu to me two make sure vet records are in your name document all your costs and three change any registrations to your name or get new ones and congratulations camu is a cutie and also get his microchip updated sheesh she sounds like someone who shouldn't get a pet at all since she ditches them every time she finds a man camus sounds like he or she would be much happier and well cared for with you i'm glad this had a happy ending enjoy your official new pet right i can't even imagine our dog has been staying with my in-laws this week their vet is about one-third the costa to get her spayed because they live in a rural area and i'm literally counting down the hours until we go get her on saturday posted by user am i the a-hole will titled would i be the a-hole for sucking up to my racist pos grandpa to get his inheritance my grandpa is a jerk he has a swastika tattoo on his right shoulder he hates my dad because he's not good enough for my mum he's black and because he's a stay-at-home dad he disowned my mum for marrying a monkey the only member of the family he likes is me because i'm his only legitimate heir since i am white i hate my grandpa when i was younger and he used to visit he would always spout some anti-black or anti-jew or anti-mexican propaganda he would also loudly say how much he hated my monkey dad however he is a rich jerk i don't know exactly how much money he has but he lives like a king since he disowned my parents not a cent of the money found its way to us we are poor he just got diagnosed with cancer and he will die in nine months i want to say good riddance and the world is a better place however he announced that he is writing his will and i want to be on it my plan is to visit him in the hospital every day until he dies i will listen to his stupid world views and racist comments i will agree with him and express my own hate this will be a lie of course i will talk bs about white supremacy etc then i'll be in his will and inherit a ton of money which will pay for my college i'll also give some to my parents my mom is all for it but my dad is against it saying that he doesn't want me to be around that pos tell me reddit would i be the a-hole if i sucked up to my asshat grand sperm donor to get into his will edits if i get the money i will give 25 percent to charities 25 to my dad 25 percent for my mom and 25 to me to help pay for college edits i have white skin so i passes white i believe that is what my grand sperm donor means personally i don't think you're an a-hole for doing it and putting that money to charity is a very good idea as well as sharing it with your parents who it was never going to go to and i feel like that's ridiculously unfair not the a-hole edits i have taken in your advice and talked to my dad about it more i explained that i only wanted the money to improve our quality of life he's not quite convinced but he's warming up to it especially when he found out that i'd want to find some way to donate some money to charity i've decided that i won't suck up to my grand sperm donor without my dad's blessing and if i get the money we will decide how to use it as a family i'll post an update once we decide what to do not the a-hole go for it and earn some money yeah he's a piece of crap but it's totally worth being around him every now and then for a slice of the pie pulling a con job on a dying racist a-hole for money is totally fair game if he's family go for it especially since op will be giving 25 to charities imagine old gramps spinning in his grave if his money makes it into the naacp or some other charity geared towards helping minorities and you're fighting discrimination i mean yes you're the a-hole but please be machiavellian about this get the inheritance and don't pee it away as a final act of revenge donate some money to a couple of charities that help minorities in his name doesn't even have to be a large amount i don't have a judgment on this but i would be careful about your father's feelings he's already had to put up with so much from that man that i imagine watching his son buddy up to the guy and pretend to be racist could be pretty heart-wrenching the money isn't worth it if it hurts someone that you care about but it's just my thoughts this should be higher up what a thoughtful comment i'm all for screwing the older guy over but in the end the people you love are what matters most i wish this was higher up opie your father is probably imagining the things you'll have to say about him or smile and not along to about him he's probably remembering things he's heard your grandfather say and imagining them coming out of your mouth i want you to get that money but i don't think you can do this without your dad's genuine blessing updates would i be the a-hole for sucking up to my racist piece of crap grandpa to get his inheritance thank you so i got a ton of responses from my op most people said not the a-hole or you're the a-hole but justified although i did get a few actual you're the a-holes however you guys also gave me some great information and advice about how to move forwards with this and keep my relationship with my father intact most of which i used and thanks for all of that what i did as suggested the day after i made the post i had a long talk with my dad about how much i loved him and my black heritage i told him that i would share the money i got with both him and my mom as they deserved it as well as use it for uni but i made it clear that i would not move forwards with my plan unless i had his blessing which he gave me as you guys suggested i did not visit my grandpa every day but only one to two times a week as to not arouse suspicion i also tried to steer any conversations i had with him away from racism as that kind of talk could hurt those around me such as the nurses and other patients we instead talked about his life and that was interesting because i can no longer hate him instead i pity him he had a sucky life and it isn't his fault he's a racist that's just how he grew up i learned other stuff about him as well but the main thing i learned was that he wasn't just a racist or a boomer or an a-hole or a rich lonely old man he was insert his name here he was a person and a nice one at that aftermath anyways he died three weeks ago some kind of complication with something i was planning on skipping the funeral but i went anyways it felt wrong to have bonded with him so much and then missed my chance to pay my respects my parents thought i was crazy but they don't understand the will reading was shorter than i expected just some legal mumbo jumbo he didn't have as much money as i thought he did most of it wasn't liquefied assets or something but i got a house a couple thousand in cash that i can't touch slum 25 and some valuable stocks and bonds it won't affect my life right now but it will give me a huge boost in the future that's really it i feel like these past three months have been a kind of journey for me seeing inside the head of a racist will have forever changed me and my outlook on life i'm glad that the user sasquatched 8649 suggested that i really talk with him and try to understand him because it did help me a lot that's really it thanks for the help reddit i get it my father-in-law is racist but through genuinely being nice to him and telling him great stories about my friends and co-workers he's becoming more inclusive you see he was the only white kid on his block during the detroit race riots no it doesn't justify racism but it helps to understand why a person thinks the way that they do i've worked with the elderly for a long time and many of them have deep rooted attitudes towards life however more often than not they are willing to make small changes i have seen people come in outright racist and grow to love their caregivers that are people of color it's very hard to return hate with kindness but it can make a world of difference learning why someone is racist can really change your perspective of them it never excuses or justifies racism but it changes how you view that person same with homophobic people i recently saw a comedian who said it perfectly homophobia and i like to think racism as well is a disease not everyone can be quote unquote cured but many can it just takes time and efforts and you need to understand that it's not going to be overnight his example was with his dad his dad was homophobic the horrible verbally hateful kind who used to harm and bully the gay kids when he was young and who still spewed pure hate anytime you mentioned gay people but then one day his brother confided in the comedian that he was gay and terrified to tell their dad he pulled away and put distance between them and the dad could tell something was wrong eventually he did come out to the dead but he didn't take it too well just kind of silently showed him out the door then it took a month of no contact before the dad reached out to him and told him how he did understand it didn't know how or why his son came to be like that but that he loved him more than he hated the gays i think it's been around five to ten years since the brother came out and they've slowly been getting him to use to the lgbt community they know that if they dump everything on him at once or try to force him to accept it that it'll just scare him off he recently met the brother's long-term partner and actually liked him they're currently having discussions about transgender people and the dad is struggling to understand it but the point is that he's trying and getting better not everyone needs to do this for their parents i completely understand that sometimes the damage they've done is 100 irreparable or that you don't have the time and ability to be their teacher but you should understand that for some it's not a choice to hate who they do it's a trauma and disease that they can't get over themselves posted by user importance superb titled would i be the a-hole for not paying for my son's art college i 52 male have one son who's 17 male and one daughter 30 female my daughter graduated from a local university with a master's degree in business and has a small startup that has grown quite tremendously she's engaged and is the major breadwinner in her relationship which makes me quite proud my son on the other hand he's less academically interested throughout high school he wanted to take only art and music courses i didn't allow him to and unfortunately had to resort to the my house my rules however he says now that he's going to uni he doesn't have to listen to me and that he'll move out with one of his friends if i try the my house my rules crap as he calls it he says that he's going to an art uni and that he's already sent out applications to several and gotten offers so i did the only thing i could revoking my offer of paying for his university it breaks my heart but i feel like i have no choice i told my son that either he gets a degree that will enable him to have a good chance at getting a job that he can live off of or he can find some other way to pay my son was understandably ticked when i told him this he called me a crappy father and stormed off to his room before you flood the comments with your the a-hole hear out my reasoning i did the same thing my son wants to do i got an arts degree against the wishes of my parents i was young and excited but it was not to be art and music weren't paying my bills and i got into astronomical debt then i was evicted from my apartment and i was homeless for a year i had to drag myself back to my parents and beg them to pay for me to go to uni again this time to get a business degree i got one graduated again and got an office job and worked hard until i got promotions then i met my late wife and we had the kids so you see i just don't want my son to make the same mistakes i did i want him to be able to hold his head high knowing that he can pay his own way and start a family if he so pleases i don't want to be controlling but he needs to put his head on straight and do what's best for him so reddits am i the a-hole for this edits i never explicitly said i wouldn't pay for an art major but i've told him that his entire life that becoming an artist is a very unstable industry that relies heavily on luck and connections i also never promised that i would pay for his school it was always just assumed edits i have tried compromising he can have an art minor or take private classes so long as he majors in something else he declines you say it was never promised it was always just assumed i guess you haven't really communicated with this guy properly because that would be a huge letdown also knowing that you're going to start off at a massive disadvantage when there never really seemed to be a problem with it before i've decided to just make this decision now your house your rules with what he does in school but why do you get to decide that now that he wants to go to university people learn from their mistakes and perhaps him going to university to do an arts major isn't a mistake and you're holding him back from doing that just because it failed for you doesn't mean it's going to fail for him per se you holding him back and holding this over his head is an a-whole move so yes you're an a-hole for doing this you're the a-hole you're controlling and it sounds like you've been this way for a long time it doesn't matter that you failed at your art career maybe he'll succeed and maybe he'll fail but being forced to study something that he has no interest in won't help him and having to take on a bunch of debt to follow his dream also won't help him you're in the process of destroying your relationship with your son just because you think your limited life experience makes you the expert on everything i can actually pay his way nearly entirely he'll have very little debt if any yes and a job he hates and resents you for or he'll defy you and go to art school anyway making a huge debt making his dream of succeeding as an artist even harder and making him resent you because you could have easily paid for it i love the end i don't want to be controlling but you are being very controlling you're the a-hole let him pursue his passion if he fails and didn't listen to you then he has to pay his own way if this is how he wants to spend his one free try let him and based on your wording it sounds like you love your daughter more and you show it be careful because you may lose him either way you're the a-hole your experience as a failed artist is worth sharing with him so that he can make an informed decision and of course it's natural that you'd worry he might experience a similar path but there are people who lose a fortune in the business world and that didn't affect your willingness to pay for your daughter's business degree as long as your son understands he gets one chance to spend the money you saved up for his university if he chooses to spend it at art school that's a valid and awesome choice artists rock updates would i be the a-hole for not paying for my son's art college the resolution two months ago i came home to my son packing his bags he told me he was going to go live with a friend until uni and he was going to take out loans to pay since i wasn't going to despite my protesting he left last week i got a call from him begging me to take him back his friend's family was moving in with his friend and they no longer had space for my son to make matters worse he hasn't been able to get loans he'd been denied he wouldn't be able to get into the uni of his choice he told me he accepted my terms since he had no other choice seeing him that heartbroken crushed me so i did something i never thought i'd ever do i relented and offered to pay for his art school in full no strings attached he was jubilant all i can say is you were right reddit just because i failed doesn't mean he will he could be better than i was for all i know maybe at his school he'll meet people he can use his contacts and i can try and use my clout to seek out people who can help him i can minimize his costs by letting him stay at home for the first few years after he graduates and if he does fail i can just send him through school again for a different degree thank you reddit i owe you guys opie a bit of advice have him take a few classes in something else as well my mum has her bachelor's in arts and masters in interior design simultaneously it's a good idea for your son to pick some design degree in addition to white as a fallback he also may find that he enjoys whatever it is i always recommend a business minor to go along with arts education it can help with his eventual self-employment as an artist or it can give him something to fall back on if he needs it my daughter is in performing arts and i'm hoping she continues to want a second degree in teaching regardless i think the value of the networking in college meeting those people who can mentor you and your career is truly priceless and makes the arts degree worthwhile this is a great idea as basically being an artist means also running your own business i studied graphic design in college and i really wish even a small part of the course had been about how to work out how much to charge for a freelance job or how to set yourself up as a company i have no interest in going out on my own i actually far prefer being a wage slave but i've done some freelance as well and i've never felt confident when pricing my work this seems like a serious oversight why do college degrees not give you the skills to succeed in the career field they're preparing you for my art school had required classes for every major on the business side of things how to price your work advertise taxes etc i left that class with an entire professional package ready so not all art schools forget this lol okay and i think that's where we're going to end today's episode guys as always i do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learn something from these stories just want to say a quick shout out to my patreon subscribers and my channel members you guys should be on the screen right now if you do see yourself i want you to give yourself a little pat on the back for being amazing and supporting me on this channel this uh little journey we're going on on the youtubes i really appreciate it and you guys enabled me to do all this amazing work so if you do see yourself i love your face and i'm happy to see you also guys if you want to pitch in your own support you don't have to but channel links are down in the description below to support the patreon the channel membership whatever you want to do it's kind of like tipping me if you feel like i'm doing a good job on this channel i will be opening up avenues for content on those in the future just right now i'm kind of bogged down and stuck in ireland but you know it is what it is anyway guys with that said i do hope you have a wonderful day today whatever you're up to i'd love to know down in the comments below i do hope you have a good day night sleep whatever you're up to today tell me and i'll see you in the next episode guys bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 20,109

Rating: 4.9528561 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: epvsO2oOrIU

Length: 27min 19sec (1639 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 16 2020