r/AITA WHY I DIDN’T TELL MY MOTHER IN LAW I’M PREGNANT! - Reddit Stories

could you possibly be the jerk for refusing to share your inheritance with your stepsiblings we'll get into that in a bit but first am I the jerk my brother-in-law demanded I disown my sister-in-law when I said no our entire family was cut off my brother-in-law let's call him Jack just for story purposes was married to now ex-sister-in-law let's call her Tanya over 15 years ago they had a very toxic marriage and he was extremely abusive to her and her children she had before they got married one of her sons is a extremely traumatized by Jack I met Tanya and her daughter with Jack let's call her Zoe when I was two months postpartum with my first and only child I was extremely depressed very anxious and just overall miserable Tanya was the only person in my family to take time out of her day to check on me care for me help me and more importantly be there for me she's the one person aside from my husband to keep me on this Earth I look at her as a second mother and I know I can call her anytime for any reason Jack REM married my now sister-in-law let's call her Katie but I really even hesitate to call her that she's cold cruel and mean my husband told me she didn't used to be like that but Jack manipulates her lies to her about his marriage to Tanya and she believes him and stands by him no matter what you go against him you go against her my husband and I took a trip for Christmas to visit his family for Thanksgiving and I told my husband specifically I wanted to see Tanya and Zoe while we were there and I called Tanya to make plans after we see Tanya and she also asked my mother-in-law to see my husband's grandparents who live next door she says yes but wait until none of us are there while she's visiting with my husband's grandparents me my mother-in-law and Katie went thrifting and my husband father-in-law and Jack went golfing I guess at some point he noticed Zoe was at Grandpa's house and called her and heard Tanya in the background he's mad but calm and gets off the phone and is venting to my husband somehow it gets brought up that I'd invited her to see Grandpa but I didn't my mother-in-law did Jack calls Katie and tells her to get back to the house and that they're leaving Katie then tells me if I don't cut out Tanya I'll never see their kids my niece and nephew ever again when we got back Jack was cussing my husband and father-in-law in the garage calling me a bench and saying I'm psycho my father-in-law defends me and my husband tells him to stop and Jack acts like he's going to hit my husband mother-in-law breaks it up they gather their crap and leave I haven't seen or heard from them in 2 years now last Christmas was really hard on my mother-in-law she cried so much and I felt so guilty I begged her to let me say whatever I needed so we could see my niece and nephew again but she told me no everyone has convinced me that I've done nothing wrong and I'm not the jerk here but I miss my niece and nephew so bad I'm not typically one to admit doing something I haven't done but I just want access to my niece and nephew again and I don't want my family getting hurt by Jack and Katie anymore so please tell me am I the jerk I really don't think op's the jerk here I think they try to do their best and these are just the kinds of people that you just can't really click with you can't work with wlf wrtr wrote not the jerk what makes you think that after 2 years of listening to Jack put you down that the nieces and nephews want to see you it's best to wait until they're adults and can think for themselves sounds like Jack has hurt the whole family in one way or the other and you apologizing would make it appear that what he says against any of them may be true also hi I'm Steven and if you guys enjoy getting to decide whether or not all of these people are jerks why not hit those like And subscribe buttons down below that said our next story is am I the jerk for refusing to take any responsibility for my dog until my wife was forced to rehome him I'm going to lay this out in the most basic way I can I work from home as does my wife she wanted a dog I said we did not have enough time to take care of a dog she pestered me and until I agreed we took our time and found a rescue that had several pups that met our criteria small adult requiring just a couple short walks a day they did home visits and stuff it was taking a while during that time my wife found a farm that had working blue healer X Border Collie pups she got me one for my birthday I had one just like her when I lived at home with my parents she is a beautiful puppy but not in any way what we agreed on we live in an apartment with no yard my parents have an acreage I am very busy I do not have time for all the training and exercise that she needs I told my wife thanks but no thanks she refused to listen to me so I just refused to bond with the pup I didn't even name her I told my wife I would make sure that the pup was fed and got two half hour walks a day since that's what we agreed on but everything else was on her it took two weeks of barking chewing and pooping until she rehomed the pup now she's mad that I manipulated her in doing what I said we should do to begin with she said she thought I would love a puppy that was like my old one if we had the space and time for her I would have I am ticked that I even had to do it I feel bad for the dog I'm thinking of not even doing the rescue now that I know more about how my wife thinks a million per Opie's not the jerk here Opie's a million per not the jerk in my eyes looking beyond the fact that the dog's also a 10 to 15 or even longer year commitment and as for people who have had dogs in the past I think a big motivational Factor keeping you from getting another one is the Heartbreak you're going to experience because dogs don't live that very long beyond that Opie was extremely practical about not having the time or ability to take care of a dog let alone A Healer which is a racing dog and a border collie which is a sheep herder that should be running in some giant Scottish field not an apartment gatina one wrote info did the pup go back to the breeder it's part of the contract for reputable breeders if anything happens to the adopter the pup goes back where is the pup Opie replied she's at home with my parents they're training her and since my dad is retired he likes having a buddy around she is happy out there my wife is just ticked that she paid for my parents to get a dog our next story is am I the jerk for leaving for the weekend after my wife agreed to host Easter at our house without consulting me my wife 38-year-old female and I 39-year-old male have been married for 12 years and have three kids 11 8 and six we live reasonably close to family on both of our sides our house isn't huge by any means but it's big enough for our family however no one on my wife's side of the family lives in a house her siblings all either rent homes with roommates or live in apartments her parents downsized into a smaller town home about 5 years ago as a result anytime her family wants to get together for a holiday or special occasion we are the ones who end up hosting it's not even a discussion with her family anymore everyone just assumes that we're going to be the ones who host we at least rotate major holidays between my family and hers but my siblings and parents can also host Gatherings so hosting Duties are spread out amongst all of us but every Thanksgiving Christmas 4th of July Easter Etc that we spend with her family we host and her family are not the best guests they will bring food if we ask but anytime there's cleanup or other help they are nowhere to be found I have expressed my dislike of this arrangement to my wife numerous times she has insisted that I not say anything to her family about it and to let her handle it however nothing has ever changed we hosted Christmas for her family this year and it sucked people showed up late forgot the food they were supposed to bring no one helped with cleaning people let their kids make messes Etc same old story as every other time after that I told my wife I was done I told her I don't want to host her family until someone else in her family steps up and hosts something or we book some other venue and all chip in to pay for it she promised to talk to her family about it and figure something out for the next holiday for Easter this year we were supposed to just have it be our family no extended family but a couple weeks ago my wife met up with her mom and sister for lunch when she got home she informed me that she talked to them about how hard hosting Christmas was she said her mom and sister agreed that they would do better and offered to prove it to us on Easter and my wife agreed we got into a huge F over it I told my wife that she's on her own for this one I told her I would be spending the entirety of Easter weekend with my family and I'll take any kids with me that want to come but I'm not going to be helping with any of the hosting duties whatsoever she thinks I'm overreacting and that I need to give her family this final chance because her mom and sister seemed really sincere during their talk I told her I don't care what they say I'm not going to be involved at all because I won't be able to hold my tongue this time and I don't want wanted to come to that she is not happy with me at all but I don't really care to top it off all three of our kids want to come spend the weekend with me instead of staying home I don't think op is the jerk here and I think it's important for op to continue enforcing this boundary op wants no part of this they've expressed it for a long time they're very clear and very insistent on this to give in this one more time that's inevitably going to be like all the other times is to basically confirm that she can just have her own way no matter what owls and Cardinals wrote not the jerk I don't think your wife is being firm enough with her family and even if she's trying to negotiate some improvement out of them it was out of line for her to agree to it without talking to you it sounds like she's taking you for granted this might be her handling it but it feels a bit too little too late to expect you to host yet again just to give the family another chance especially when she committed without talking to you and without knowing the family I can't say I have a lot of faith any improvements they demonstrate this weekend will stick the answer is that you guys should not have to solely face hosting duties in fact you should not be hosting at all unless you're both bought in and of story I think the issue at hand though is that even if this weekend is far more pleasant for you because you're just not there it's still unresolved won't this just come up again at the next holiday are you going to take your wife at her word if she tells you after Easter it was way better I think you have more talking to do with your wife and sadly I think the lineup might be that you discontinue hosting for the foreseeable future or that you're leaving every time she signs up to host this next story is am I the jerk told my sister-in-law I didn't want a holiday with them and their toddler my brother and his wife have a three-year-old they are literally the definition of helicopter parents and their entire life revolves around her and has done since she was conceived they don't talk about anything else or have any other outlets they do absolutely nothing if it's not toddler Centric and every event has to be meticulously planned around her snack times Etc although I love my niece she is a very spoiled whiny little brat nearly all of the time none of my family enjoys spending extended periods of time with them as meals bed times and most interactions are unpleasant tedious Andor annoying I spend around a weekend a month visiting them not because I want to usually but because I feel guilty when I don't as I'm the only relatively close family member to where they live since they've had a child they seem to think that everyone else's lives should 100% revolve around them and their child and their plans most people predictably have drifted away because of this why do so many parents seem to think that other people want to be or should want to be around their small annoying children I mean surely most parents realize that other people find small children very tedious except in small doses I get that their life has changed and that's cool but why try to force their rules and restrictions onto everyone else they recently asked me to go on a holiday with them and I declined they kept on pushing about why I didn't want to go even though I'd said it was too expensive didn't have time off work etc eventually I got annoyed and said there was no way I would want to spend my money and time off hanging around with them for a whole week that most adults without kids find small children tedious if I'm having a holiday I want to actually relax and do what I want to do not be forced to run around after a spoiled whiny 3-year-old have mandated snack and meal times go to playgrounds and do toddler centered activities the entire time sister-in-law was almost appalled that I would say this and is now soaking and insulted so am I the jerk I mean I feel like op was a little abrasive about it a little harsh I mean I think they could have mostly just stuck to no that doesn't really sound like much fun or anything I want to do without necessarily going so hard on it but even still I would be hardpressed to call op the jerk I can't blame them for not wanting to spend their time off essentially doing some babysitting activities hey K Renee wrote my in-laws are like this with their daughter and it is truly annoying it doesn't bother other folks but I find them incredibly boring to be around they don't talk about anything else I would never take a vacation with them not the jerk our next story is am I the jerk for telling my sister I'm Not The Golden Child I just wasn't a pain in the butt my sister is a God dang mess she was a lot growing up and each week some issue would appear this could be a simple as a tantrum or Mom and Dad getting a call from the school in short she was a lot not to mention therapy for her basically drained the family dry I was given more freedom since my parents trusted me I could go to the mall myself and they knew they wouldn't get a call from security about stealing that happened before so they trusted me and gave me more freedom to do stuff I have literally watched her get a chance to prove our parents can trust her and then freak it up our relationship isn't good my dad gave me his old car for my last year of college I needed for an internship my sister made a comment that of course the golden child gets a car I snapped and told her I'm not The Golden Child I just wasn't a pain in the butt that the family has drained themselves dry for her multiple times and to keep her mouth shut she called me a jerk and ran to her room I don't think gop's the jerk it might be worthwhile to try to consider where her mindset is or where she's coming from I mean even though she's successively been the person making these bad decisions it may just be something she's kind of lashing out about but regardless op's not the jerk reboots are such a pain wrote I'm almost 50 and my older brother calls me The Golden Child he spent his childhood playing truant getting picked up by the police stealing from family and ending up in boarding school our mother wasn't the best she was a very self-absorbed person and my brother has the same personality our dad was always at work but he did his best when he was home I've told him that I Am The Golden Child not because they actively favored me but because I wasn't in trouble every single day and as an adult I'm the responsible adult helping them not just turning up when he needs something not the jerk hard truths need to be said our next story is am I the jerk for refusing to share my huge inheritance with my stepsiblings so I 17-year-old male found out only a few weeks ago that my dad left me a lot of money in a trust like it's such a crazy amount that I didn't really believe it at first but it's true the reason is my dad had inherited from both his parents already he also inherited from the only two uncles he had as well and one of them was very successful and had a business this was all explained in a letter my dad wrote to me he had the trust set up before he came into most of the money but when he found out his cancer was incurable he decided to put it all aside for me once all medical bills were paid off for him my parents were separated but not legally divorced when my dad was sick SL died but they weren't living together for a couple of years this was 10 years ago my mom found out about the money because she read the letter he sent to me about the issue then she insisted she was joining me to meet with the lawyer to discuss this when my mom learned about the money she told her husband and suddenly the money became a very touchy subject I can't touch it until I'm 19 with the way my dad set it up so I have some time to deal with this but my mom and her husband want me to share the money with my step siblings 14 8 and seven the money is enough where even if I pay for college and buy a house I would have money left the way the trust works I was told is it's also getting interest which my dad had intentionally set up my mom and her husband have struggled financially for years they started dating when his youngest kid was one his wife had died he was going through a legal battle with the mother of his oldest and his oldest is in therapy for trauma caused by their mom also his youngest was born with some medical issues and has a lot of doctor appointments between everything money was tight we live paycheck to paycheck and I work to make my own life a little more comfortable but we had no College savings or anything before this my mom and her husband drained their own bank account to keep a roof over our heads this has all been brought up to me as a good reason why I should do this my mom told me it was selfish for Dad to put it all away solely for my future and he should have been thinking about raising me as well she told me I might not call her husband dad or his kids my siblings but we are a family and that this family has been through so much together and we have struggled for so long that it would be so good and generous for me to do this I told her it's not like I can access the money now she said said no but when I do I should set up accounts for my three step siblings so they have a better chance at college and if not College the chance to have a help start in life despite all their trying to talk me into it I said no I told them I wasn't going to share the money my mom was so mad but it was nothing compared to how mad her husband was they told me to quit being selfish and start acting with compassion am I the jerk I've always strongly been of the opinion that when it's your and heritance it's completely up to you to use that money however you want I also think this is a much more personal thing to consider but I don't think you're doing your dad any Justice by splitting this up and giving it to kids that a aren't his and B he never intended to have any of this money but again that's kind of a personal thing whether you think that's right or wrong or even should be considered at this point it's your money to do what you want Kon Lort wrote not the jerk but get the heck out of that house is there a sibling of your dads you can move in with invest every cent of that money though talk to a financial adviser also make sure to keep your birth certificate driers license and any other IDs and documents where they can't hold them over your head our next story is am I the jerk for building a fence round my garden me 26-year-old female and husband 27-year-old male live in a block of four flats that are conjoined onto another block of four the back Gardens all run together in one now everyone in my block except me has fenced off Gardens I wasn't overly fussed as we didn't really use the back Garden until we had our little girl 9 months ago she loved being outside and now she's become mobile we've bought her outside toys to play with like a Sandbox and slide my neighbor in the conjoining block has two twin boys that are just feral she lets them Riot and doesn't watch them whatsoever but none of my business really however this is where everything goes south they started playing with little girls toys and absolutely wrecking my garden I said to her countless times that I have no issue with the boys using the little girl's toys but please don't break her things and stop making a wreck of my garden she's told me to freak off and keep my nose out of her kids business to top it off this week she got a dog or dog sitting and to avoid picking up the leaving she's letting the dog do its business in my garden so I had enough and my husband father-in-law and Dad built a fence around the back Garden completely enclosing it they also power washed the whole thing God little girl new play sand and a new mini trampoline we added a little seating area for when she gets bigger we can watch her play it's really made it a paradise for us so me and little girl were sitting out in the sun the other day and my neighbor came out shouting and screaming that her kids now have nothing to play with outside and that's my fault I just told her I put up the fence for the safety of my own daughter and she kept shouting and swearing until my husband came out and told her to go away and she did I was telling my friend the story and she said I'm the jerk because it's those those kids losing out because I'm being spiteful to the mother so people on the internet am I the jerk as long as it's in the bylaws regulations whatever in your area as long as you have every right to put up that fencing you have every right to put up that fencing especially when you have a 9-month-old kid roaming around that you want to protect I call that just being a good parent Bulbasaur Ranch wrote not the jerk your job is to take care of your child not provide entertainment for your neighbor children your friend feels so strongly about it give her the address and tell her to order some toys for the kids then our next story is am I the jerk for refusing to announce my pregnancy to my in-laws and telling my husband to be patient hey y'all I've been having this ridiculous argument with my husband over the past weekend and would appreciate a third party perspective on the issue I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant with my IVF baby my husband and I struggle with infertility due to PCOS and Mild male Factor infertility over the past 3 years my husband is 25 and I'm 26 we got married at 23 and started trying for a baby right away and unfortunately we were never successful at conceiving until we did our first round of IVF I'm super cautious about this pregnancy because it's still super early and unfortunately my mother spilled the beans to my immediate family that I was pregnant fortunately I was able to do damage control and have my six family members swear to secrecy that they would not tell anyone until 20 weeks my husband and I initially made a deal to not tell any anyone till we graduated from our IVF clinic at 12 or 13 weeks I told my mom initially and she was the one who spilled the beans about my pregnancy my husband was very upset and he's been asking if he could share with his family about the pregnancy since my family already knows I told him that I'm not comfortable sharing with his parents because they've made rude comments about referring to any of our future children as test to babies they say it in a really demeaning way I do not like I never gotten along with my in-laws since particularly my mother-in-law kept asking when we would have a baby even though I told her about our struggles my husband feels it's unfair my family knows about our pregnancy and that he wants to share with his family I've been telling my husband to be patient and wait till we graduate the clinic because the last thing I need is my mother-in-law giving her opinion on a miscarriage we've been having heated arguments on the issue and I feel like my husband is being unfair since this is my pregnancy I'm the one that has to administer medications to myself get put under to have my eggs retrieved and deal with the emotional impact and stress of pregnancy I don't think I'm being unreasonable asking him to wait literally five more weeks edit forgot to include that my husband was okay with sharing my pregnancy with my mom at first until she was the one to Spill the Beans update thanks for the feedback everyone I have my first ultrasound today and I told my husband so long as everything looks good he can tell his FS it's only fair but he is to do damage control in the event I lose this pregnancy my in-laws were not very supportive of us doing IVF because they viewed it as playing God my condition puts me at risk of miscarriage and I just didn't want to hear my mother-in-law say it was God's will or that I deserve it also I was wrong for calling it my pregnancy since technically we both went through the struggles of infertility treatment together I mean for the most part I completely understand where op is coming from and also just the knowledge that these people who aren't supportive about the F procedure just having that judgment can put some unintended stress and when you're a high-risk pregnancy that's the last thing you really need I'm assuming op lives in the US especially with a mother-in-law saying oh it's God's Will and whatnot op's lucky they live in a state where they can even still do IVF in Good Old Alabama they banned access to IVF God's way or the highway Jeepers Creepers wrote not the jerk but both your moms are your mom should have understood the importance of keeping this secret not to mention the fact that this was news I'm sure you would have happily shared with your family once the time was right and she stole that opportunity from you mother-in-law is just terrible and I haven't heard someone refer to test tube babies since the '90s I can see why your husband thinks it's unfair that most of your family knows and nobody in his family does but he has to understand that it's your mother-in-law's Behavior that's requiring you to wait and not a situation where you are playing favorites if however anyone in your family is is as loose lipped as your mom and B is in touch with your in-laws then I think you should go ahead and tell them it would be terrible if they found out first from someone other than the parents to be our next story is am I the jerk for refusing to be maid of honor over a bridesmaid causing her to get fired the people in the story are my best friend Jane her brother Elliot and his girlfriend of two years Kathy Jan is marrying her fiance Tom in July and she asked me to be their maid of honor this was sort of expected as Jane is essentially a sister to me I was surprised however that she asked her brother's girlfriend Cathy to be a bridesmaid Jane later confided that Kathy had kind of pressured her into it and she had done it to make Elliot happy the issue is Cathy hates me like seriously hates me she blames me for all the issues she has with Elliot and Jane's parents and for her not having a better friendship with Jane she also thinks that I'm trying to steal Elliot from her I'm not but also cannot handle whenever he and I disagree on anything and will go way overboard defending him and arguing with me I was determined to put this all aside for Jane though this was actually not going too badly but last weekend we went to a bridal shop to choose bridesmaid dresses Jane mentioned that she wanted me and Elliot to walk down the aisle together and Kathy lost it she called me desperate crazy a pick me a fake fat and a bunch of other things looking back I probably should have said more than I did but at that moment I could see how everyone was looking at her and I didn't want them looking at me the same way so I literally just said yeah I'm not dealing with this either she's out or I am and picked my stuff up and left I apologized to Jane for the drama and offered her a long weekend of babysitting and some flowers to make up for it and she accepted so we're okay now because of this Jane has said that Kathy can't be a bridesmaid anymore because she wants me as maid of honor this is caused issues with Cathy and Elliot by extension both Elliot and Cathy have apologized and said Cathy will behave better for all the wedding events but I'm not willing to budge Jane's mother and my mother both think I should drop the ultimatum and I don't want to make things hard on Jane so I'm rethinking but I know there's other things she'll try to cause issues with me over and I just don't know how long I can keep being the bigger person with her so am I the jerk for causing this drama well I don't think op's the jerk I mean they didn't cause this drama I mean it was clearly all Cathy I mean it sucks for the fiance that everything's so closely tied together and so contentious but let's be real Opie is not the jerk here for feeling this way I mean they're the one getting attacked here as he wrote she blames me for all the issues she has with Elliots and Jane's parents and for her not having a better friendship with Jane she also thinks I'm trying to steal Elliot from her why this all seems kind of suspicious she obviously behaved horribly but but I don't understand why she hates you so much in the first place or why she feels like you're to blame for issues she has with this family ETA not the jerk but with that being said that's all the time we have for today now if you want to hear another absolutely crazy am I the jerk here story check out that video on the left or if you missed my latest video check out that video on the right that said I'll see you all next time with some more stories

Channel: Storytime

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Keywords: storytime, r/, r/aita, r/am i the a**hole, am i the a**hole, aita, reddit am i the a**hole, Storytime am i the a**hole, reddit stories, funny reddit, best of reddit, rslash aita, am i the a**hole reddit, top posts reddit, am i the a**hole stories, am i the a**hole video, r/ aita, r/ am i the a**hole Storytime, Storytime r/aita, funny reddit stories, aita posts

Id: rlVOEpfRZu8

Length: 28min 55sec (1735 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 02 2024