so today, my (55M) am returning with my daughter
(17F) from a final college visit. We flew. Yesterday, after the visit, we were having
lunch and she said she’d made up her mind. I asked which school. She said she’s going
to have fun with this and not tell us. I texted my wife and said she had a decision but she
wasn’t telling us. My wife’s comment was we’ve spent a great deal of money with trips,
airline fare, hotels, meals, etc. for all of this. We visited multiple schools last
spring and after she was accepted at five, she narrowed them down to three, which we’ve
now visited. Today at the airport during the layover she said she thinks it’s fun she
got on our nerves about this and doesn’t plan on telling us until maybe the end of
the week. I explain that I don’t think that’s going to fly as I’m trying to plan on where
I’m moving money around for the down payment, etc. we are paying for her undergrad and maybe
some grad school if not all of it. She says now I’m just guilting her and she doesn’t
appreciate it. I’ve explained I need to plan and that the longer she waits, the housing
queue becomes an issue. Technically she has until May 1st, but the majority of students
get in the queue as soon as possible to be considered for the best housing. I get no
response and now I’m getting the silent treatment. AITA for asking for this decision? I didn’t
threaten anything but I don’t think she understands the ramifications of this decision.
I just don’t understand why I’m the bad guy all of a sudden. My husband and I have had this ongoing debate
for the entirety of our relationship. When he makes pasta, he will mix the noodles and
sauce together straightaway. When I make it, I leave the noodles and sauce separated until
just before serving. If there are leftovers, I will store the noodles and sauce separately.
Although each of us have our preferences, we typically leave it up to whoever is doing
the cooking to decide how the sauce/noodles will be served and stored. I recently came back from a 2 month work assignment,
and my return also happened to coincide with a bunch of my in-laws coming into town. My
husband wanted to host a dinner at our home for his family and asked if I could take on
all of the cooking. I'm normally the one to do most of the cooking
in our relationship. I enjoy it and I would say that I'm pretty good at it - objectively
better than he is. I've been complimented many times from many different people over
different meals I've made. However, I am by no means a professional and I've never been
asked to cook for such a large group before. I wasn't totally comfortable with taking on
that role for this occasion, and plus I kind of wanted to chill and be lazy for a while
after being away for work for an extended period of time. But my husband really wanted
to impress his family so I begrudgingly agreed. I ended up making several different dishes,
one of those being a bolognese sauce with pappardelle noodles. I made sure to plate
it up really nice and topped it with freshly grated Parmesan cheese and basil. Everyone
seemed to enjoy it. Later that evening, my husband pulled me aside
and was clearly unhappy that I hadn't mixed the noodles and sauce altogether. His reasoning
is that he and his entire family prefer everything mixed, and that I should've made it according
to their preferences since I knew that. He said it made no sense to make it according
to my preferences when I was the only person out of 15 that liked it that way. I told him if it were really that big of a
deal, that he should've taken on all of the cooking. We went back and forth for a bit
and I finally said, "If I'm the one cooking, then I'm going to make it the way that I think
is best. I don't care what everyone else's preferences are." That irritated him even
further and he basically expressed that he thinks I was being rude and inconsiderate. It's not like I ignored anyone's dietary restrictions
- there were none. Cooking a multiple course meal by yourself for a large group is a lot
of work and the fact that he had the audacity to complain about noodles and sauce is beyond
irritating. It's been a couple of weeks since this has
happened and I haven't been cooking our dinners as I normally do. I told my husband that since
he seems to be such a picky eater, he can figure it out himself. AITA? I'm 16f and I have two brothers 18m
and 14m. We lost our mom when we were 3, 5 and 7 and our dad remarried when we were 4,
6 and 8. It felt like they had known each other about a month when they got married
but it possible they were together longer. About a month after mom died dad was in a
widows and widowers group and that's how he met his wife, Beth. Beth lost her husband
and had no kids. When they got married they sat us down and told us Beth was going to
adopt us. My older brother and I objected. But we were ignored. Around that time we heard
some extended family try to talk them out of it as well, saying we would be taken care
of if anything happened to our father, no need to go through with the adoption. Beth
told them she was our mother now and the adoption needed to happen. We spoke to a social worker
and the judge before the adoption happened. Initially their request was rejected based
on our conversations. But then they came up with a story that we'd have nobody else to
take care of us and our family had already said they wouldn't raise us if anything happened
to dad and it was done. Older brother and I never liked it, younger
brother didn't really no any better but by age 7 was saying he wished he wasn't adopted
as well. He could have been copying us. But he says he really feels that way so... We have new birth certificates ever since
the adoption and her name is in the place of mother. Found that out when I gave my mom's
name in school one day and had to bring in my birth certificate and saw Beth's name.
My brothers had no idea that had happened either. It ticked off my older brother so
much that he told Beth he hoped she would die and we could be adopted again since she
was far more replaceable than mom. That incident made Beth and our father put him into therapy
with them. That lasted for two years until he moved out last year. He then asked our
maternal grandparents to adopt him since he couldn't find a way to reverse the adoption. Recently Beth and my father have figured out
that I want to do the same and so does my younger brother. Beth broke down and said
she just wanted the chance to be a mother and wanted us to love her back. My father
suggested they do therapy with me and my brother (separate sessions with each of us) and that
we try to work out a compromise. I told him it was too late for that. They already erased
mom and nothing they could say would make me feel different about what they did. I told
Beth we were never her children and she would need to accept the fact she was never going
to be loved back. My father told me that wasn't true. We could still work something out, like
have our grandparents adopt us but call him and Beth mom and dad and let them still be
parents and grandparents in the future. When I said there was no room for compromise
and it was too late they said I was being so unfair. AITA? I (20M) had a girlfriend (20F) of eight
months who I recently went on a what was supposed to be a week-long beach trip in Queensland
with her friends and family. She had been planning this trip for a long time and was
looking forward to it, especially since I’d get to know them all. On the third day we planned to go river floating.
When we got there I was looking through my bag before I went to change and couldn’t
find my trunks. I instead found a new navy blue pair. When I told her this she replied
with “oh yeah, that’s the extra one I packed in case you lost yours.” I thought
this was thoughtful, I changed into them and we all headed down towards the river. We all got into our tubes and started floating
off. About three minutes in I feel my suit getting baggier, and I I even notice a piece
is falling off. I was disappointed that they were a cheap pair but I kept going. Once we
hit rapids it got real though. I felt a sudden rush of cold water and I notice my trunks
have been torn clear off by the water. I stood up covering myself with just the last piece.
Everyone else, about 15 of her friends and family, started to laugh. I was absolutely
horrified, one of my biggest fears is being naked in public, and now I was completely
nude with no way to get back. I can’t tell you how trapped and humiliated
I felt. I had to spend the rest of the day with the water up to my shoulders, feeling
awkward and embarrassed the whole time. Whenever we were in shallow water I was forced to stand
up and walk exposed in front of them. They weren’t prudish either, her friends and
parents made jokes and comments on my body as we went. Her young cousins made sure to
comment on the shape and size of my junk when I couldn’t cover myself also. When we got back to the beach I had to run
covering myself back to my towel. My day was completely ruined. I felt humiliated and angry.
When we got back to our room, I was back into clothes trying to forget the day when my girlfriend
comes in giggling to herself. She asked me if I liked the new swim trunks, and when I
asked what she meant she told me she had ordered a prank dissolving pair in lounge and replaced
my other one with it. I was absolutely livid. She had purposefully exposed and violated
me because she thought it’d be a good laugh. She even made sure not to pack another pair
or a towel. I started yelling and she told me to calm down, saying that it was only a
joke. I left that night, and I didn’t call her
the next day. She called screaming at me, acting like I was the one who had wronged
her, saying that she had worked hard for this trip and that I was being immature. But I
didn’t want to be around someone who would humiliate me, especially considering that
her own family and friends would be present. I can understand that I ruined the trip for
her, but it feels like her own fault. To make a long story short, my sister (32) and I (26F)
ended up moving back home at the sametime due to COVID. I'm WFH, and he lots her job.
Because she has three kids, she made a big stink to keep the entire second floor to her
and her kids. I got "stuck" with the creepy, musky basement because of her. Only it turned out to be a dream. I'm very
introverted, and nobody wanted to go down to the creepy, unfinished, spider-infested
basement. So it worked. I spent every month since trying to finish the basement. I finished
the floor with epoxy. Fixed the water heater on my own dime. Got a split-unit for heating/cooling.
Exterminated. Then I installed some nice track lighting. Got a mini-fridge and foos ball
table. Now it's my own personal clubhouse. Until recently, when I noticed someone was
stealing my energy drinks and messing with my game consoles. Nobody confessed. So I bought
a lock and key for both doors, gave my dad the only spare (it's his house), and locked
up on Thursday, so I could go to an office meeting. That's when we found out it was my
nephew, because he left his stuffed toy in there and apparently whined all day until
my dad got home and let him in. Now my sister is raising heck about how I shouldn't get
so much space to myself since I don't have kids; that I don't pay enough rent to justify
it; that nothing in this arrangement is fair and she is demanding that I leave the space
open as a family room. That was not the arrangement though. The basement is my room, and I'm the
one who spent all that time and money fixing it. Nobody wanted to be there until I was
finished with it. Things got heated and I called her kid a filthy
brat, because he is. He gets mud everywhere. Never washes his hands. And he's broken just
about every console she's ever gotten the kids. And now she wants me kicked out of the
house. AITAH? Quick Update: So after we all cooled down,
I did talk to my father. He said he has zero interest in letting the kids down there. When
my sister tried to protest, he pointed out to her that the place is still not safe for
kids. There are still rat traps. Exposed wood. He pointed out that she, herself, kept screaming
about there being "mold" (there isn't). So he doesn't want ANY kids down there. And unless
she's willing to pay for an inspector to check (she's not), she has no say. So that shut
her up really quick. Then she got into it with me for the "filthy
brat" comment, and I was about to apologize because I was heated. It was messed up. Only
dad hopped in at that moment, and chose to have a serious conversation with her about
the youngest not washing his hands. He apparently ruined several leftovers in the fridge last
week, and "slimed the butter" (I don't know. I don't WANT TO KNOW), which my dad did want
to bring up anyway. Because the kid has a problem, and won't bathe. But I stepped out
at that point because it sounded like he was mad. Very few things make my dad mad, than
having to throw away perfectly good food. It's one of his triggers. So. Everything is
shaping my way. For now. I've just had breast reduction surgery a week ago. I went from
a J down to a C cup, I had to have my nipples cut off - iced and then grafted back on so
you can imagine how painful it is for me currently. I have a 17 month old (her dad isn't in the
picture) and i moved in with my parents because they said they would help me. Well my mum
did. I obviously can't bend down and shouldn't
be picking my toddler up. My mum has been annoying me SO much lately. When my daughter poops my mum says she will
go and grab her changing stuff and lift her onto her mat and we can both sort her out.
I say ok, and wait with the wipes out, a nappy bag and a new nappy ready. After a few minutes I go and see whats taking
so long only to find my mum completely doing something else. She was even unloading the
dishwasher once. I reminded her that my daughter needed changing and she said she 'was going
to sort it right out'. I went back upstairs and after 15 more minutes and my daughter
still not changed. I went and lifted her up and did it myself. My mum got annoyed and said she was just about
to do it, even though she was now re-loading the dishwasher. My daughter had been left
in a poppy nappy for around 20 minutes and apart from it stinking, it wasn't fair at
all and hygienic for her. Poor little soul! This isn't the first time this has happened.
She says she will do something and then goes off and does something completely pointless
and I end up doing the thing. Surprise surprise I have popped a few stitches
and had to go back. The nurse asked what I've been doing and I was honest and told her,
she said I'm not meant to be picking up my 17 month old and my mum was supposed to be
helping. My mum had come and picked me up from there when I had it done and said she
would help to the nurses, etc. I was honest again and said she isn't helping
but I still have to take care of my daughter and feed, change her when she goes off. The
nurse wasn't pleased at all and had a conversation with my mum after I left. Now my mum is in a mood with me and said I'm
making her look bad, I'm over reacting and such. I asked her if she would have liked to have
been left in her own sh*t for 20 minutes with it all going up her back and not being able
to do anything and she said no. I then asked then why does she expect my daughter to be
left like that?! She still says I'm being dramatic and she
was just about to do it etc. I (16m) was playing some Elden Ring, and my mom said to pause
it and change the cat litter, despite it being her agreed upon job, she wasn't feeling good,
and needed to rest. I said I couldn't pause it and I'd do it in a few minutes, and she
said if I changed the litter that instant, she'd bring Domino's back when she went to
yoga later that evening. So I did it. She came back with no pizza, and I asked why,
and she said she changed her mind, and she shouldn't have promised anything. Her reasoning
was that she shouldn't bargain with me, and I should know to just do what she says, with
nothing in return. I argued, and she threatened to get rid of the PS4 for a month if I argued
anymore. A few days later, she was running errands
for a gathering we were having at the house, and she was worried she wouldn't have time
to do the dishes. And I said I'd do the dishes if she got me some McDonald's. She got McDonald's,
and I didn't do the dishes She asked why, and I said I changed my mind, and that made
it okay. She called me a petty brat, and now I'm grounded. AITA? My boyfriend Eric (29M,
fake name) and I (27F) have been dating for three years. For context, I have met his family
and they are friendly. We don't meet them very often because they live in my bf's home
country. I don't want to reveal country names either for privacy reasons but my bf and I
are of different nationalities and we both work in my country. The conflict happened during our last visit
last weekend. We have been looking up houses to move in together and engagement rings.
While we were having dinner, we mentioned this to his family as it's a big step in our
relationship for us(we are not engaged yet.) His parents and brothers expressed their happiness
for us then out of nowhere his youngest SIL asked "So is she going to take the test?" I asked "what test?". In summary, bf's family has this tradition
where the future MIL tests future daughters-in-law to see if they are good enough for her sons.
Apparently, his mother and aunts went through the same test. The tests include how clean
they can keep a home, how well they can cook, their manners, etc. Basically life skills
most people learn from childhood. I found it ridiculous because 1. If I'm good enough
for my boyfriend, he should be the one deciding it. and 2. I don't fit in their targeted category.
In his mom's words, you can't be a good SAHW and SAHM if you can't be a good homemaker
and she wants to make sure of that. To be clear, his mom and all three of his
brothers' wives are SAHMs and although I respect their choice, I am not quitting my career
and did not under any circumstances make my bf think I could compromise on that. I hate
house chores and I would rather buy homemaking gadgets and hire staff no matter the cost
than have to do chores myself. I told my bf's mom all this and it caused an argument that
eventually ruined dinner and in extension our visit. Bf doesn't care whether I'm a working wife
or a SAHW but he thinks I should have just done the test because "it's just a test" and
it's not like they would reject me if I failed it. He thinks it's a fun tradition that everyone
was looking forward to and I should have gone along with it anyways. My boyfriend thinks I'm the AH and suggested
I make this post. If I really am the jerk, I'm sure you guys will let me know so am I?
BG on the locket. When I was 5 my dad bought me a locket with pictures of him, my mom,
my sister and brother (both older). When I was 7 my dad and sister died in a car accident.
My locket became something so treasured I wore it all the time and didn't care if it
was a formal event or not. When I was 8 my mom remarried. Mom's husband
is Jeff. Jeff had a 1 year old called Nathan whose mom was not in the picture. Mom and
Jeff than had two daughters together pretty quickly. My locket was something they all
knew about because they'd see me wear it. Mom asked me a couple of times to add Jeff,
Nathan and the girls and I told her I didn't want to. So when I was 16 mom and Jeff bought
me a new locket with their photos in it. I never wore it put I put it in a jewelry box
I own. There were some comments and tensions that I never wore the new one. My half sisters
were upset about me not changing which one I wore all the time. I explained why the original
was special and they told me the new one was more special because it included them. My
mom was annoyed at me for how I handled it and Jeff benched at me for not appreciating
what they did for me. I'm 19 now and I live in a small apartment.
My brother lives with his girlfriend. A couple of weeks ago we stayed at my brother's house
and when I woke up that morning, my locket had been moved (I don't wear it to bed in
case it breaks). Went about my day and that weekend. When I got home a couple of days
later I wanted to look at the photos inside and noticed they'd taken out my dad's photo
and tried to squeeze in Jeff, Nathan and the girls. I was angry. I called mom and asked
her if she'd seen my locket and she told me I drove them to do what they did because I
was selfish and inconsiderate and broke their hearts for the last three years by showing
which locket I favored and which family I favored as well. She hung up on me. I tried to calm down went over to their house
(mom and Jeff's) and I told them they had no right to touch my locket. Jeff told me
they had every right to show a more accurate representation of my family and that I was
hurting Nathan and the girls by wearing something that didn't include them when I had something
that did. I lost it. I told them they did not have that right and they do not get to
tell me who I carry around in my locket or not. I told him he would never be deserving
of a spot, told mom she had lost her spot and then I left saying they needed to stay
the heck away from me. My brother couldn't believe they did it. Sided
with me. Told mom to accept we didn't feel the way she wanted us to feel. Mom and Jeff
said I was an jerk. Mom said since dad bought it while they were married she also bought
it and had every right to interfere with it. AITA here? My BF (25M) and I (24F) bought
a house together 8 months ago. Its no secret that gathering a deposit for a house is not
easy. While we saved up 80% of it, my parents also gifted us $20k. My Bf and I discussed
when my parents gifted us the funds towards our deposit that his parents would also gift
this (agreed my his parents), but they would give it to us after we moved in since we already
had enough for the deposit for the house we wanted. I understand that I am very privileged
to have this issue so this is why I am struggling within myself about whether I should even
be concerned about this. To give some background, when I was growing
up, my parents were low wage earners and we lived paycheck to paycheck every single week.
My parents worked extremely hard and lived frugally to pay off their mortgage. They never
go on holidays, rarely buy expensive things and live very simply, working towards retirement
as they are in their 60s. On the other hand, my BFs parents who are a lot younger than
my parents have their own business, that is highly profitable and they live a very comfortable,
lavish life. Think buying a new BMW and Merc and then not liking the Merc so buying a Porsche
instead, spending $50k on a holiday, and spending $30k on an anniversary party, all in the span
of 6 months. Overall, no money troubles at all. So cut to us moving to our house, BFs parents
gave us $500, their old washing machine and a vacuum cleaner. I was grateful, but I couldn't
help but question, if their offer was still on the table as we wanted to fix a few things
in our house, eg a huge leak in our bathroom wall. I asked my BF what was happening and
he got extremely defensive saying how dare I ask this question and telling me how materialistic
I was. He was also with his mum at this time that I was unaware of and he proceeded to
tell him mum while I was on the phone that "OP is upset that you haven't given us $20k
like her parents did, are you still going to?" and they had a laugh about it. I have
since asked twice and again I have been dismissed and been told that I should not have ridiculous
expectations and that his parents shouldn't have to match what my parents did. I also
mentioned to my bf that I felt it was rude when his mother showed me the 3 designer bags
that she had purchased as well as all the gold and diamond jewellery while on holiday,
right after I mentioned that the increases on our mortgage payments were really starting
to pinch. Again, I was told that I have no right to question this. I would not have cared if they didn't gift
us anything if they didn't say on many occasions that they would give what my parents did,
if they didn't invite all of their friends over to my house warming that I was not aware
of, and if they were struggling financially (I help with the family business so am very
across their financial). I am not being understood when I bring up my frustration as I think
it's just unfair. My friend Cee (25F) and I (25F) went to Manhattan for St. Patty’s
Day weekend to visit her friend Tu (27F). We had fun Friday night and Saturday but Saturday
night was just difficult with weather and Ubers and heels. As we’re leaving the 3rd spot, Cee finds
a man standing by a store and starts making out with him in the corner. She’s my friend
and this is nothing new so I go talk to his friend to keep him busy for maybe ten minutes
before he abruptly walks away. Okay, cool, New York dudes. He comes back later while
I’m with Tu and I tell him politely to leave me alone I’m not interested. He tried joking
it off but quickly sees i’m serious and moved, I appreciated it. When he turned to leave he made his friend
(who was with Cee) come with him so Cee met back up with us. I told her I wasn’t feeling
his friend. She told us she was going to freak him that night but in the bathroom since all
three of us were sharing a king. Again, no problem. We get back to the room around 5 am and she
calls him. Ten minutes later she says okay I’m gonna go and meets her friend in the
lobby. When she comes back up, she turns the corner of the room and looks at me with a
‘don’t be mad’ face and I’m confused. She lets two dudes walk into the space and
it’s her friend and his from earlier that I didn’t like. I made it clear to all parties earlier that
I don’t like that guy. He spends the next hour invading my personal space and not taking
no for an answer, almost chasing me around my 8x8 hotel room where Tu was asleep and
Cee was getting railed in the bathroom. I decided I had enough and went to sit in the
lobby. It’s a little after 6 and I’m dozing off
on the lobby couches now. I figured Cee would tell them to leave when she’s done and I
would go back up then. I left my phone in the room so I couldn’t talk to her. I woke up around 7:15 and went back up to
the room where the dude I ran from is sitting outside our door, saying he’s sorry. I go
in the room and see Cee and her friend sprawled out on the bed and Tu on the edge, snoring.
I decided then that I’m packing my bag and looking for another room to sleep before taking
the bus home. The guy was trying to convince me not to go so I told him don’t let them
worry, when everyone wakes up tell them I went home early because I don’t have a place
to sleep. So I left. They started calling around 8 am
and I ignored their calls. I had already been up all night and was on my way to the bus
terminal in an Uber, it was an inappropriate time and I was upset, I wanted to calm down.
They called 30 times but I ignored them until the NYPD calls me. I explained the situation and told them I
told someone in the room where I was, they’re being dramatic and everything was closed.
I came home and tried to text her and see that I’m blocked on every platform. I thought
she would have calmed down by now but she still hasn’t. Part of me thinks she’s
embarrassed but another part wonders if I was TA?
