My older brother "Hugh" terrorized me all
throughout my childhood and definitely left some scars. Hugh was brutal towards me. There has always been a very sensitive side
to him. For example he is very good with animals and
kids. He was mean to me because I had "dethroned"
him after being born. We'd been estranged for years and only reconnected
after I borrowed money from our folks to prevent our house from being foreclosed and learned
that the money came from Hugh. I figured the least me and my wife could do
was introduce them to Hugh. My sons (now 6 and 8) have grown very attached
to Hugh (he has no kids of his own). He's become the uncle who taught them how
to swim, use a chainsaw, rough house and always makes them laugh. I know my brother loves them dearly because
he got their initials tatted on him. My wife thanked Hugh for buying groceries
last week and he jokingly said that hopefully I can forgive him for having so mean growing
up. I said "not a chance. Like never." Hugh left and didn't say anything. My wife told me that I should apologize. I said I will not. I was being honest. My brother was a freaking monster to me growing
up and my not forgiving him has nothing to with how nice
he is
our kids. My ex-girlfriend, Claire (35F), got pregnant
while we were dating. Although she told me she just wanted to be
friends, I was ready to be a father. However, she met someone else, Becca, who
didn't want me around, so they asked me to cancel my paternal rights. At the time, I was torn because I wanted to
be there for my child, but I also felt that if they didn't want me around, it was best
to waive my rights. After fighting for a while, I eventually gave
up because it was clear that they didn't want me there. Fast forward 13 years later, Claire and Becca
are going through some stuff, and they want me to pay child support. However, the court had already ruled that
since I waived my paternal rights, I am not legally obliged to pay child support. Despite this, Claire is calling me a idiot
and a deadbeat, and she's even calling my family and getting them involved. While I understand her frustration, I don't
think it's appropriate for her to be involving my family in this matter. My (28m) wife (27f) is pregnant with our first
baby, and I’m so thrilled to be a father! We recently had some scans, and found out
that it’s a girl. We had an agreement that we wouldn’t talk
about names until we knew the gender, so of course on our way home from the gynecologist,
we immediately started discussing. We’ve talked about this a little before,
and we agreed that we both have veto power. I suggested my all time favorite name, Anna. My wife suggested Caeleigh (pronounced Kailey,
and yes she spelled it out). I vetoed it. She suggested another name, Ryleigh (Riley,
and again she did spell it out). I vetoed it and suggested Riley spelled the
normal way. She refused. She then suggested Novalynn. I vetoed, suggesting Nora as an alternative. She again refused. This continued a few more times, until she
snapped at me, calling me unreasonable for vetoing all her picks. She said, “What’s the point in talking
about it if you veto all my choices, you controlling jerk!” I responded “Maybe if you picked something
normal, we might get somewhere, but you won’t even try to compromise!” She looked really hurt, and we drove the rest
of the way home in silence. Now I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong
for vetoing her picks and for what I said to her. AITA? For the context, I (25F) have a niece (Bella - 7F)
and a nephew (Michael - 10M). They're my brother Alex's kids. I love them both but I have a much closer
relationship with Bella. Michael is a good kid, but he is a ticking
time bomb. He is absolutely uncontrollable. I'm his aunt and I love him but I really can't
have him around for long. The last time he was in our house he poured
my nailpolish collection onto my wife's favourite silk Persian carpet. And that isn't even 1% of the damage he has
done. My wife (27F) and I recently bought a villa
out of town. It has a game room, pool, and many things
Bella adores. So we offered to give her a tour of the place
and let her check out the rose garden there, if Alex and his wife agreed. Alex said either both Michael and Bella were
to be included or none of them were going. My wife and I both insisted to only take Bella
but he was not having it so we said we would just go by ourselves. Alex got really mad at us and said it was
disgusting that we favored Bella because she was a girl and that we were both hypocritical
and unfair to Michael, and never included him in our plans. I told my brother that Michael was an uncontrollable
kid. He had the audacity to ask what Michael had
done. I told him I'd let him know (I've told him
the items over the years as it happened but he always said it was an accident and that
Michael's a boy and boys play rough). I made a table including every item my nephew
damages in our house and the estimated cost. It included a few of my wife's antique vases,
her glass statue of the Eiffel tower, carpet, several of my wife's crystal decorative items
and two phones (he flushed them down the toilet). Even the mirror of my car. I sent the list to Alex. He is now extremely angry with me, and thinks
I am being an arrogant person, and taking after my wife's trait of being an uptight
rich kid. I am not talking to him at the moment. Was what I did AH territory? A bit of context: I (29M) like to draw and
try other mediums as well. As such I've accumulated a lot of art supplies
over the past few years. My wife (Sally 27F) also dabbles a bit and
we have converted one of the rooms in our home to an art studio of sorts. There's easily a few thousand dollars worth
of art supplies in that room and we tend to keep it locked for that reason. Most important to me are my pencils and markers
which were not cheap (Chartpak for those who care). Onto the story: Sally and I had her family
over for her aunt's birthday a few weeks back and my BIL and SIL brought their kids with
them (7F and 6M). We had forgotten to lock the door to the room
that day. About an hour into the party I noticed that
both kids were nowhere to be seen, so I asked my SIL if she knew where they were. She said that they were drawing in the other
room. I asked if my wife was with them and she said
she just told them which room it was in. I immediately rushed over to the art room
and found it was a total mess. Most devastatingly was the fact that all my
markers were ruined because that kids were using way to much force casing the tips to
fray. I yelled at them to get out and they started
crying. My BIL ran over and started yelling at me
saying they're just kids and it's just markers. I told him that the markers alone were 17$
a piece and he said I was stupid for paying that much. Sally tried to diffuse the situation but my
BIL starting yelling at her too saying we can't have this much art supplies and not
expect kids wanting to use it. I told him he's paying to replace the markers
and other supplies they ruined and he told me to go freak myself and left. Everyone left shortly after that. I totaled up the damages and I needed to replace
about 375$ and found that the kids drew on a piece I had spent the past week working
on as well as ruining a finished piece Sally did. I sent him a bill and he blocked me. So I talked with my friend who was lawyer
and had him draft a claim for small claims court and a letter to send my BIL (I paid
him for this ofc). My wife is in agreement about this but her
family has been mobbing us telling us we're being ridiculous over some markers. Only my FIL (who also has taken up painting
recently) and my other SIL say that BIL has to pay. AITA? Update: First off, holy crap I did not expect
this to blow up. I posted, figured I get a handful of responses,
and turned off reddit. I am extremely grateful that so many took
the time to read and respond to this post, I'm going to read as many comments as I can,
but I can't read them all. Either way, thank you all. Anyways, last night my FIL called my wife
and told us to come over. When we arrived my BIL and SIL were already
there. FIL sat us down and told us we're figuring
this out now and anyone who leaves gets written out of his will. BIL asked if he seriously would disinherit
him over markers, and FIL asked him "would you seriously get disinherited than talk this
out like adults?" He called all of us childish but figured the
threat of court would make BIL admit he was at fault. He also was mad at me for reacting so nuclear
and ruining aunt's bday. After an hour and half of talking BIL said
he was sorry and would replace the supplies his kids ruined, I apologized for making a
scene and Sally and I are taking aunt out for dinner tonight with FIL as an apology. I don't really care about the judgement here
since I realize whether or not I was right for taking BIL to court because my asshood
from ruining the party far outweighs that. Hopefully things mend well with my wife's
family. I rent a room in a house with my boyfriend
and his best friend, Eric. We are all in our 30s and have lived in this
home since college. Eric has a girlfriend, around six months,
who stays over named Amanda. (Amanda doesn’t live with us) Last night
we were all Star Wars fans, so we decided to binge-watch some episodes and get pizza. Amanda wanted to use her Disney+ account,
but mine is already logged into the tv in the living room. We get our pizza, snacks, wine and beer. I left my phone in my bedroom because I like
to unplug after work. After movie night, I go see my phone before
bed, and there are pages of text about how Amanda wants me to stop doing things for her
“man,” including start using her Disney+ account on our tv. I’m not allowed to cook or grab him things. The list goes on to where she accuses me of
flirting with “her man.” The thing is a ridiculous wall of text, and
I’m showing this to my boyfriend before we go to sleep. He said Eric needed to see this, so I screenshot
page after page Amanda sent while we watched the New Trilogy. I hear them argue, and Amanda slams the door
to leave around 3 am. I told my coworker today, and few thought
I was being petty because Amanda has insecurities she needs to work through, and I bullied her
about them by sharing her texts with her boyfriend. So I (25F) have a step son, Riley (8M). My husband Harry (29M) has full custody, and
his job has just sent him away for a whole month so I'm taking care of Riley. Now, I will admit I don't know much about
children. I'm the youngest person on both sides of my
family and growing up I spent most of my time in hospital/getting bullied by cousins so
I genuinely have no clue about what kids get up to. Obviously, I know the basics like homework,
playdates etc but I never really paid much attention to what Riley did every single day
when he had nothing scheduled because my husband took care of them. I asked my husband about how I was supposed
to entertain Riley, and he said that I should just let him do his own thing until he says
he's bored but that didn't feel right to me. Like I should bring him home from school and
just let him sit in his room with his iPad? That does not sound healthy. I decided that I should teach things like
baking, card games board games etc. So far, he's learned how to make cupcakes
with minimal support, and he's learned how to play chess, checkers and 5 card games. I've also taught him things like how to lay
a table and table etiquette, a few silly little magic tricks and how to do a really crap British
accent to annoy my British father. I made sure he stayed on top of his homework
and social obligations too. He spent last weekend with my in laws, and
when I went to pick him up MIL was very annoyed at me. Apparently, he kept asking her to let him
bake all weekend, and he refused to do anything besides card games with FIL all weekend too. She said that I wasn't letting him just be
a child and entertain himself because I felt inadequate as a stepparent which I guess is
true. She complained to my husband and she's been
pestering him to let Riley stay with them until he's back. He's also annoyed at me because he told me
to get let Riley get up to his own thing and instead I over thought it and they said I
was treating him like an adult and was stealing his childhood. My parents also said that it was weird of
me to be so worried about Riley keeping himself busy and this all could've been avoided if
I chilled out. AITA? AITA? My daughter has been going to the same summer
camp since she was seven. Her mother and I separated when she twelve
and we split everything evenly and always paid half and half for her camp. We never intended on it being a longterm thing
but she made friends and they always looked forward to seeing each other every summer. Back in October of 2021 I came home to my
daughter with a friend I never seen before. She introduces her as her friend from camp. She was in the area because her family was
going to Disney World. Her and my daughter were very excited to see
each other but I was a bit apprehensive about having a stranger in the home but she stayed
overnight sometimes. One day I was cleaning through my room and
I realized I couldnt find an envelope I got from the bank a few days prior. After tearing apart the house and not finding
it I concluded it must have been my daughters camp “friend”. I never lose stuff and I lose money the few
days a stranger from across the country has been in my house? I was livid and when my daughter finally came
back I asked her about it and she told me to lower my voice her friend was coming in
as well and they didnt see it. I confronted her friend who got overly upset
saying her family is wealthy and she doesnt need money and my daughter was defending her
saying that they never were apart so there was no way she could have. Regardless I told her she wasnt invited inside
and had to leave. This caused a huge argument with my daughter
who didn't speak to me for weeks after saying Im disgusting. She wouldnt even agree to our custody agreement
and stayed at her mothers house for months. We eventually started talking but it was awkward
and short. In the summer of 2022 her mother asked me
to pay for her half for summer camp and I refused. Why would I pay to board my daughter with
a thief? This caused another huge fight and my ex paid
for it all that summer. My daughter hasnt spoken to me since and refuses
to come over. I decided to sell my car recently and before
I sold it I did a deep clean and ended up finding the envelope in my trunk. I was so confused about how it got there but
was relieved to find it. I felt terrible about the situation with my
daughter so I texted her letting her know I found the money and that Im sorry. We spoke and she said that she wants me to
say sorry to her friend on a three way call (which I did) and my daughter said to make
up for it I need to pay for ALL of her camp like her mother did last year when I refused. I was taken aback and said no, Id pay for
just half. She got upset again saying its the least I
could do after I refused to pay last summer over money I misplaced after blaming her friend
and embarrasing her and Im a huge jerk? AITA?! I truly thought her friend robbed me and that
it was the right thing to not send her there! My husband and I traveled to Hawaii for my
SIL’s destination wedding last month. They did NOT help pay for travel or hotel
costs, so everyone who was invited had to pay out of pocket. The wedding itself was explicitly stated as
being childfree, which I can respect! However, a lot of the married folks in our
families have little kids and they’ve never seen Hawaii yet. Plus given the fact that we’re already having
to pay for the trip ourselves and grandma can’t babysit the kids at home because she’s
traveling to Hawaii too, it just more sense for us to bring the kids along. We planned fun events and trips for the kids
between wedding events and some parents took turns babysitting. It all worked out well for us and the kids
were ecstatic to come along. My SIL however has been stirring up a bunch
of drama afterwards saying we made the entire trip about our kids and no one cared about
her wedding day which is not true at all … are we really the jerks here? I (26f) have been in a long distance relationship
with "Jay" (27m) have been friends for 5 years and dating for about a year and a half. Because of a previously failed LDR, I said
from the very beginning that I didn't want to be in one again. But then COVID rolled around, and we were
living in the same city for a bit and I fell for him and got myself into another long distance
relationship. When our office reopened and I moved back
home 1100+ miles away, we agreed to see each other once a month, alternating locations. We have been good about keeping this schedule,
but there is the occasional month where I'll go and visit him instead of him coming to
me. Whoever is visiting pays for their own flights,
and the person hosting covers dinners and activities. I feel that it has been a fair arrangement,
as we both have full-time jobs and make decent money. However, I am much better at money management
and saving than he is, so he often finds himself stressing about funds, but still buying unnecessary*
stuff and making poor financial choices. It's stresses me out to no end, and he knows
this and is trying to be better. I recently received a raise at work and was
super excited about it, given that life in general has been getting much more expensive. When I told Jay about my raise, his first
reaction was to ask me to start paying for his flights to see me, as well as continuing
to pay for mine to see him. I reminded him that's not the arrangement
we had, and that my life style does not change with this raise. I just plan on putting more into my savings. He seemed really upset by this answer. I said that I don't think it's fair that I
have to pay for everything just because he chooses to spend his money on unnecessary
things. He says that I am well off and since I won't
pay for his ticket, it makes him feel like I don't want to see him. I do want to see him, I just feel it's not
my responsibility to support him financially, and if I do it will enable his current spending
habits. He said it is incredibly selfish of me to
think this way and I understand where he's coming from, but I just don't agree. So am I the jerk or selfish for refusing to
pay for his flights to visit me? *Unnecessary stuff: he enjoys collecting a
certain type of liquor that can be hundreds of dollars per bottle, making modifications
to his car, and other pretty expensive hobbies This year my parents decided to throw a surprise
party for my brother's birthday. They got him a cake in the shape of a computer(he
is a computer engineer, my parents had a bakery make this cake for him) and got him a small
gift. The party was only for the immediate family
but I thought it was pretty nice I(23F) was at college for my birthday. When I returned home I thought they are going
to celebrate my birthday now but turns out they are not planning to do anything. I ask why and they say you birthday was a
month ago what is the point of celebrating now? Well the point is it would make me happy. We argue for a while and my mom finally decided
to bake a cake for me. It was a simple vanilla cake shaped like a
circle. I don't even like homemade cake and they give
me a small gift. No surprise party, no personalized cake, nothing. We got into an argument and they called me
an jerk for not being grateful about what I got My (35F) husband passed away a few years
ago in an accident so now it just me and my son (7). My husband was the main breadwinner so it
has been rough. I work until 8 and he gets out of school at
3. My SIL doesn't work, her husband owns a very
successful business and she "helps out." SIL picks my son up from school and brings
him to her house to hang out/do homework until I can pick him up. On Wednesday she called me while I was already
at work to tell me her and her husband got last minute concert tickets so she wouldn't
be able to pick him up from school. I was ticked it would be one thing is I knew
in advanced and could make other arrangements but she just sprung it on me. I asked her to reconsider reminded her that
she made this commitment and it would be really crapy to break it. She still went to the concert. I have to leave work 6 hours early and lost
out on all those hours. I figured since she put me in this spot she
should have to recoup me my income is the only thing me and my son survive on. I sent her a Venmo request for the amount
I lost out on. I got a nasty text from her a few minutes
later about how she is not paying it. I had to send my son home with one of his
friend yesterday and today because she wont pick him up. I told some of my friends and they are 50/50
on if I should have done it, but I need that income and he made a commitment to me and
my son, I think that is more important then going to a concert to get drunk. My dad passed away when I was only a baby. My paternal grandparents were my main caregivers
while my mom worked until I was about 4 which is when she met Jason. There was some weirdness between them and
I'm not sure about all that went on. But I do know when they were engaged (which
was 6 months after they met) mom was in an accident and my grandparents took care of
me until mom got out. I know this angered Jason and my mom. They felt like my grandparents should have
left me with Jason, and given me a chance to bond with him, because to hear my mom tell
it, all I wanted was my grandparents when I was little and when the accident first happened,
I cried for them when I realized I couldn't see her. It sounds like there might have been a social
worker involved though I don't really remember it. Jason adopted me when I was 5. He and my mom had just gotten married. They told me it was going to happen and I
asked them not to. But they told me Jason was going to be my
dad. I never called him dad. I always used his first name and called him
my stepdad, which bothered them. They blamed my grandparents because my grandparents
shared a lot about my dad with me. Mom tried to cut me off from my grandparents
but the courts declared that since I had such a strong attachment to my grandparents and
they were a connection to my biological dad, that I deserved to maintain that relationship. I ended up getting to see them every other
weekend and I got one overnight a month with them. I loved it. I never fully felt comfortable with Jason. He tried super hard to be my dad. He would spoil me, would take time out of
his day to spend it with me. But he was also so jealous when he saw that
I kept a photo of my dad close by my bed and when he walked in on me talking to the photo
while I was little. He'd get upset when I wrote notes for my dad's
grave for Father's Day. As a kid I used to believe more in people
existing after death and knowing what we said to them and wrote for them. So I did that sometimes. I can recognize that Jason was pained by the
fact I was talking to and writing to a dad I never knew and would never remember and
still used his first name. But it doesn't change how I felt, or how I
feel today. His hatred for my grandparents didn't win
me over either. I do think I love Jason. But I would never say he was my dad. I'm now in my 20s and engaged to a wonderful
human. My grandma is going to walk me down the aisle. I told my mom and Jason before asking, so
they could be prepared. Jason asked about money, which I had never
asked for or discussed with him. When I told him my fiance and I were paying
he offered to pay so he could "give me away". I got mad, told him again that I never asked
for that and said it was insulting to think he could pay me to walk me down the aisle. He and my mom think I am insensitive to his
feelings given I know he considers me his daughter and I have never accepted him as my dad. AITA?I (37M) live with my wife (37F) and son and daughter ( 9 and
11 respectively). Recently, there has been this kid who comes
by our house after playing soccer and either rides his bike or walks over the lawn with
his cleats on his way home. It started out as me giving him stern looks
whenever I saw him, then it slowly progressed to me asking him to just go around. The last time I asked him to stop he made
a point to stomp extra hard and twist his feet in to the grass to pee me off. Since then Ive just been hosing him. The first time I sprayed him with the hose
he ran off, but then for some reason he just started standing there while I hose him like
he enjoys it. Its now progressed to me sitting on my lawn
chair pointing my hose at him, and him just staring at me while he does so. Sometimes we even make small talk. Im ngl, it started off as a really bitter
relationship, but Ive actually gotten to know the kid quite well, we talk for maybe 15-20
mins everyday, and he doesnt seem to mind being hosed down after sweating hard playing
soccer. He comes by daily and we just shoot the crap
while I hose him and he stands there for a bit. Wife told me I need to stop, even after I
explained it to her she said Im making us look like childish idiots. I guess I could stop, but honestly its really
funny waiting for him to come by and I see no harm in it. WIBTA?
