Posted by
u/Mintvoyager 19 hours ago WIBTA for being upset my fiance didn't get
me more Christmas presents Not the A-hole
We were tigher on money this year, so after I got him a couple of presents I asked him
if it he wanted to stop at two or three presents for each other and he said he planned on getting
me six of seven gifts as soon as he got paid, so I took that as a sign that I should get
him a few more gifts. This will be the third year in a row where
I've watched the pile of presents I bought over the month add up under the tree, but
not a single one for me is there. The first year we were together he forgot
to get me anything at all until I started crying about it Christmas Eve and he went
out and got me some gifts. Last year he said the gifts wouldnt arrive
until after Christmas and they just never showed up. A few days ago he told me he just ordered
my gifts, and the two things he ordered me wouldn't be getting here until January. He already told me what he was getting me. One of the things is rather expensive so I
don't feel like he isn't spending a lot on my financially, but I don't feel cared for. I wanted small things that showed he cared. I purposely sent him photos of inexpensive
things I liked all month explicitly saying I'd love something like this for Christmas. I told him I wanted to do stockings for the
first time this year and put his in an obvious spot so he could see that it'd already been
filled. I asked him just now if he wanted to do mutual
stockings and he said he didn't. I told him I already made him a stocking which
is why I asked and he was just like "oh, I didn't get you anything." I don't want to cry in front of him again
and risk guilting him into getting me more things. I feel like I am an jerk for letting it bother
me so much because I know one of the gifts I'm getting is pretty expensive and we're
tight on money this month. Am I being ungrateful? I wanted to edit to add that he actually hasn't
ordered the expensive gift yet. He said he'd have to wait until we had more
money and I was totally okay with that and said he didn't even have to get it for me. I'm not worried about monetary value I just
like feeling like he actually took time and effort to make me feel appreciated. Second edit to answer some common comments. I probably didn't make it that obvious but
I've been explicit about my intentions the whole way through. When we talked about the gift quantity I asked
him if I should get him more than the three I ordered and he said yes because he was going
to get me a lot. When I said I wanted to do stockings I asked
him if he wanted to do them with me and he said yes. When I didn't see any presents for me weeks
ago I asked him when he planned on ordering gifts because they might not get here in time
and he said he planned on ordering them when he had money (and then bought baulders gate
for himself a few days later.) I was communicating, but because in our communication
he said the reason he wasn't getting me gifts yet was because he didn't have the money yet,
I have just been trying to be patient with him. Posted by
u/Think-Dance973 19 hours ago AITA for getting together with my friend’s close
cousin at her wedding without permission and now dating him? Not the A-hole
My boyfriend and I are both 31 years old. I met my boyfriend earlier this year at my
(now ex) best friend’s wedding while a bridesmaid. My friend no longer speaks to me. For years, my friend had joked about setting
us up because his mom met me and liked me (they are an Indian family; I am white) and
we would joke about marrying me into the family and being sisters. It was mostly a joke because we didn’t think
we’d ever be compatible. Fast forward six years and I finally met him
at the wedding. The groom actually ended up setting us up
during a day of day-drinking. The bride was there but she and I didn’t
talk about it. I called her after the wedding to tell her
all about it and I let her know we were continuing to talk (I told her I wasn’t sure the purpose
behind it as we didn’t live in the same city but that I was enjoying the conversation). She asked me not to talk about him to her
while we were talking so that it would’ve affect the friendship. I agreed this was a good plan. Two months later, I could sense something
was off with her and I asked her how she was feeling about me seeing her cousin (though
they think of each other as brother and sister). She blew up at me and said she was upset that
I didn’t ask for her consult before dating him. I apologized to her. She asked for space and wasn’t ready to
talk about it, but said we would eventually need to if he and I got serious. I gave her space for a few months. When I reached back out, she suggested we
talk only in-person if we were ever in the same place (I was living in a different country
at the time). Several months later I finally moved in with
my boyfriend who lives in the same city as my friend and reached out to her ready to
talk. She then told me she’d already withdrawn
from our friendship, was unwilling to ever talk to me again, and told me I was “invading”
her family. AITA for not realizing I needed to ask her
for per permission to date him and is her behavior justifiable? Posted by
u/LinePlenty4054 19 hours ago AITA for not wanting my sister to visit when
I have my baby? Not the A-hole
I am 25 and expecting my 1st baby, a little girl at the end of March and will be a single
mother. My situation isn't ideal so I have been fortunate
to move home to be with my parents who have been very supportive. ( Edit to clarify: I own this house, but my
parents moved in during covid as I was living abroad and this house was more secluded and
ultimately safer for them) My sister (29) is married and has a 1 year old little boy,
I was very involved in the 1st 10 months of his life as I lived nearby, I love him beyond
measure. However, since I have moved I have barely
heard from my sister, communication has been minimal despite my attempts. On asking, she has said that she is jealous
I am in our home country with our parents and feels like she is intruding. I have reassured her multiple times that she
isn't, I would love to hear from her more and that I miss her and my nephew. This past week, my sister came to visit for
a week with her son and husband, during this time I bought cakes, presents, cooked and
cleaned for them all as it was her husband and sons birthdays, I was so excited, but
like every other visit home, they brought a 'bug' and I ended up so sick that I was
throwing up and in bed for a few days, I've since been put on antibiotics. While she was home my sister mentioned coming
home at the end of March, I said nothing at the time but since then I have been thinking
that this is not something that I want, for many reasons. I tried to ask my sister if she would wait
2 weeks before coming to visit, in order to give me time to get into a routine and to
heal. That didn't go well, she rang my mother screaming
crying about how unfair I was being. I purposely didn't tell her my real reasons
for not wanting her here and tried to spare her feelings. It stresses me out that my sister would be
coming with her son and husband around this time as they need to constantly be catered
to, they don't help at all when they visit, I wouldn't have access to the upstairs toilet
after giving birth which comes with its own problems, my sister has not been involved
with my pregnancy at all (even ruining my gender reveal by making it about her), every
time she has visited they have brought illness with them and I do not want that for my newborn
baby, the idea terrifies me. Honestly, I really don't want them here at
all, or maybe just my sister and nephew, but I thought a 2 week wait was a compromise,
because I know she wants to be here to meet her niece. I am being made feel like a horrible person
for this by my family, am I really the jerk? Posted by
u/Little_Hat4111 22 hours ago AITA for telling my mom not to visit my house
again? Not the A-hole
I (33F) live a long distance away from my hometown and parents. I don't have the greatest relationship with
them. They were emotionally absent when I was growing
up and were extemely judgemental when I told them I was in love with a woman (9 years ago). They eventually got over it but my relationship
with them never really recovered. Also, I have two kids (6M and 5F) with my
wife (Laura - 35F). So it has been a while since I last saw my
family of origin in person. My mother (56F) called and asked to visit
us for a few days before the holiday season. She said she really missed me and would love
to see us all. So I happily accepted. However, we ran into quite a few problems
while she was with us. For one, she didn't knock on our kids' doors
when she wanted to see them. (My wife and I always knock and wait for them
to say come in. They also do that when they want to go into
someone else's room. Which is why they were annoyed by my mom). I told her about this and she didn't pay much
of an attention. Second, I overheard mom asking our kids if
they were treated differently at school, if they considered Laura or me as the fun mom,
etc. I mostly brushed these off because they sounded
quite innocent at the time. Third, Laura has an office at home that she
uses whenever she has an urgent matter to take care of. She is very attached to that space of hers
and doesn't let anyone go in there except for me. Even our kids know better. I caught my mom coming out of that room a
few times and warned her. The last straw was when I came home early
to take mom out for lunch and found her going through drawers in our bedroom. It is a very private space as you know and
I could not comprehend the reason behind this. Also, there are a whole bunch of handwritten
notes, personal belongings, etc that my mom has no business with. So I got really mad and asked her what she
was looking for. She didn't give me a coherent answer and said
she was looking for a toy my daughter lost and she thought maybe she hid it here somewhere. For the rest of her visit (2 days) I didn't
talk to her much. I asked Laura to make plans with the kids
so my mom couldn't hang out with them much. When she was leaving. I told my mom not to visit us again. I have gotten countless messages from my brother
and father that mom came to my house with many hopes and I was a heartless monster for
turning her down so easily. Am I an ah? Posted by
u/TheRedHamock 19 hours ago WIBTA if I didn't let my son meet his biological
dad? Jerk
I (45M) have been married to my wife (42F) for 13 years. I have a stepson Alex (not real name) (17M)
who I have raised ever since he was a toddler, we may not be blood related but he calls me
dad, I raised him as my son, I am his dad no questions asked. Now I have never personally met his biological
dad but as far as I know he basically completely abounded his wife and kid (he gave all custody
to my wife) for god knows why leaving my now wife homeless. Like I said I haven't met him but even though
I didn't know him personally ofcourse I had resentment towards him like how can someone
leave his own wife and kid behind? But I know I have bias. Now Alex's 18th birthday is coming up in a
few weeks, And my wife posted something's about it on social media, I left a comment
on it and I guess that's how the deadbeat was able to find my account. He messaged me asking to meet "his" son for
his 18th birthday. Though the message was addressed to both me
and my wife I don't really understand why he messaged specifically me. But he did say we didn't have to introduce
him to Alex as Alex's father (thought I mean Alex knows I'm not his biological father). My wife is completely natural in this decision
and has left it up to me to decide. And honestly I don't want him to meet Alex. I'm Alex's dad, that deadbeat represents absolutely
nothing. But yes a small part of me is also scared
Alex will start to consider that deadbeat his dad. That's why I'm asking WIBTA if I took that
experience away from my son? If I didn't let my son meet his biological
dad? Posted by
u/donedonedone66 11 hours ago AITA for staying at a hotel instead of my
parents’ house for the holidays? I (31f) have a progressive disability that
causes flare ups and fatigue. This means that I do have good days, but my
bad days are becoming more and more frequent. On those days, the most I can do is sit up
and maybe work on my computer. Almost year ago, I moved to a different state
for medical care and to get a job that would be flexible with when I go into the office. I am very lucky that I can work at home (thanks
to my doctors note) whenever. All my work is on the computer and not physically
taxing at all. A few days ago, I flew home to my hometown
for the holidays. Travel can be extremely difficult for me,
and I was exhausted and when I got to my parents’ house around 9pm. We had a nice conversation for about an hour,
and then I said I needed to go to bed considering I would be working in the morning. My mother listed all of the things that I
would need to do first including wash the sheets from the last person who stayed there,
clean the guest bathtub and toilet that hadn’t been used most of the year, and unload my
suitcase because she doesn’t allow suitcases on the carpet. I was wiped out, so I took my clothes out
of my suitcase, found a blanket that seemed clean, and fell asleep on top of the dirty
sheets with it. In the morning, I did wash the sheets and
bathroom. When my mom got back from her voluntary shift
(she is retired, but sometimes her old job asks her to fill in as a favor,) she started
getting frustrated because the “house is in shambles and people are coming for Christmas!” By this, she means my 2 brothers who always
show up the day of Christmas and leave shortly after and her brother. She proceeded to give me a list of chores
to complete. I explained to her that I was having a flare
up and was exhausted by cleaning the bathroom but I could likely help tomorrow. She freaked out saying how she works so hard
while the rest of us relax at home. She proceeded to say that it’s not fair
I just come for Christmas and “expect to be waited on” when I have a job and work
all day “just fine.” I’m pretty used to this attitude from her,
and it is why I don’t visit too often. I tried explaining again about my chronic
illness, but she continued make passive aggressive comments about how she will have to work on
Christmas because nothing gets done. She told me in a rare sentimental moment in
the past that she is in denial about my diagnosis. Ultimately, I just couldn’t take it anymore
and said that I would go to a hotel so she doesn’t have to “wait on me.” Staying in a hotel isn’t easy on me financially,
but I did it anyways. My father called me explaining how upset I
made my mother and that I need to apologize. Stress makes my illness worse, and right now
all I can really do is lay here. However, I’m wondering if I really should
go back and apologize and try harder to do the chores, even if they physically hurt. I do love her and want to help, it can just
be really hard for me. Posted by
u/LetBrittyBee 16 hours ago AITA for not wanting to split my nephews birthday money
with my sisters step son? My sister, J is with a man named C. J has
1 child who is 12 and C has a child almost 9. Together this past year they had baby. I have been in my oldest nephews life since
the beginning when he lived near us. In the last 2 years, they moved to another
state. As he is now close to being a teenager his
wants and needs are more expensive. In October was his birthday. I sent my sister 200.00 for my nephew to spend
as he wants. My sister than writes me informing me that
I didn’t get anything for C’s child in August so she is splitting the 200 between
them. This peees me off. As I last year bought Christmas presents for
all 3 kids, but I had never been told it was his birthday. I don’t feel like she has a right to take
from my oldest nephew when that is what I said the money is for. I felt like she should have told me before
that it was his birthday. I also feel like she shouldn’t tell me what
my money is going too. It bothers me. C’s kid has his own family. Do they do the same to C’s family for my
nephew? Idk. So it’s Christmas. The birthday left a bad taste in my mouth
and she hasn’t sent me a Christmas list like every year because of it. Am I the jerk for being annoyed at her splitting
the money between the two? I should add - my two nephews and the only
kids between the three sisters. Us other two sisters are married but no kids. So we have income we can use on the children
to help them out. Posted by
u/atwoodscustomer 12 hours ago AITA For buying an extra ornament for the
tree when my sister did not? Title is vague but let me explain, My (19F) sister (21F) bought little mug ornaments
for the christmas tree that had the initials of our family members on them. I noticed that she got her boyfriend one which
i honestly thought was cute, but also noticed that she hadn’t got one for mine (context:
i’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year, sister has been dating hers for a week). I asked her, “Why didn’t you get one for
my bf too?” and she only said, “Because i only wanted
to get one for my boyfriend.” I didn’t argue, because i kinda understood
(but still found it a little rude). I just asked her where she bought them. It was store that’s about 45 minutes away
from our house. The next day, I went to the store (even though
it was a while away, I had other christmas shopping to do anyway) and bought the exact
same little mug ornament with my boyfriend’s initial, and put it on the tree. When she saw it, she said, “You really drove
all the way to get your boyfriend an ornament? you’re such a dramatic bench.” I didn’t say anything cause i was shocked
that she was upset because i bought an ornament so my boyfriend could feel included. I asked my mom about it and she said “Well
it seems kind of petty that you drove all the way to the store just to buy that ornament.” When i didn’t even mean it that way. I just honestly don’t see how trying to
include my boyfriend in his first christmas at my family’s house is an jerk move? I wasn’t ever even mad at my sister for
not buying one, or said anything rude about it. Posted by
u/Mrs_Ddraper 19 hours ago AITA for univiting my uncle and his family
to christmas? Not the A-hole
For backstory: my husband (26m) & I (28f) have a wonderful 15 month old. We bought a house 2 years ago, and decided
to host Christmas this year since we have the biggest space to do it. Everyone in my family agreed it was a great
idea. Okay, so flash forward to now, i have invited
my uncle to every event my husband and I have hosted. My baby shower, didn’t come. Our Fourth of July cookout, didn’t come
last year, or this year. Our son’s first birthday, didn’t come,
didn’t even wish him a happy birthday (I’m not bitter about a gift, we specifically requested
no gifts on the invititation, as my son has a ton he doesn’t even play with). We just hosted thanksgiving and I told the
rest of the family if my uncle and his family didn’t show up he wasn’t invited anymore
since he never came anyways. I’m mostly upset because I’m the first
one to have a baby in the neice/nephew, grandkid part of the family. I’m upset he chose to miss really important
milestones in my life. Anyway, my grandma decided to invite him regardless
to my decision, and regardless to me being extremely clear I didn’t want him here. My uncle is a shady guy, he gave up custody
of his son because he just didn’t wanna deal with anymore, and now he is fighting
for custody back because his child support got raised. His son is 16 and he has sticky fingers that
like to steal, and I’m just not comfortable having him in my home, neither is my husband. My whole family (my aunt, mom & grandma) are
so angry at me. My dad is on our side because he’s never
liked my mom’s family anyways. They keep saying I’m an entitled brat, and
need to get over myself. I just don’t understand why I’m being
made to feel bad for something I’ve vocally expressed for a month now, and being uncomfortable
with it. They have also cancelled Christmas at my house,
and they’re all going to my uncles apartment. My husband and I and our son were not invited. I feel bad for my son, I feel like I’m causing
him to miss things, and potentially ruining things with his family. So AITA? Posted by
u/ganondork770 21 hours ago AITA for not being impressed by my wife listening
to audiobooks at 3x speed? Not the A-hole
Earlier this year my wife started listening to audiobooks at 3x speed. Last night we went to a holiday party and
she was talking about how this gave her the ability to read almost 100 books this year. Someone we don't know well responded they
didn't understand how she could possibly retain information that way and that it seems like
it would ruin the pleasure of reading. She got upset because that's exactly what
I tell her. On the ride home she was going on about how
people don't take audiobook listeners seriously and I (immaturely) rolled my eyes at that
point and told her that it's not about that, it's that when she talks about listening to
things at 3x speed, it's because she thinks she has a superior ability to process information
quickly and wants people to be impressed. It's not actually about reading at all. I know this sounds harsh but I also know my
wife well enough to know that impressing people is extremely important to her and she has
acknowledged she's prone to having a superiority complex. AITA? Posted by
u/cool-sniper429 19 hours ago AITA for telling my cousin’s friend that
her underwear was showing? Not the A-hole
I (16 M) was over at my cousins for Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, and we were hanging out in
her basement while the adults watched college football upstairs. My cousin (19 F) is in college and is a few
years older than me. She had some friends over that she knew from
high school and I was happy to be included while they played games and watched movies. One of my cousin’s friends, Sarah (19 F),
was really cute but was my cousin’s age so she was out of my league. However, every time she sat down or bent over,
I could see her underwear peeking out over her jeans. It was super obvious because she had on a
white sweater, jeans, black underwear. There were about 10 teens hanging in the basement,
including a good mix of guys she knew and some of my other male cousins, so I assumed
she didn’t want boys her age or younger seeing her underwear. When there was a break in the game, I very
discreetly told her that she should pull her pants up because her underwear was showing
in the back. She got angry at me and asked me why I was
staring at her underwear. She even called me a sicko pervert. I was just trying to help her. I felt super awkward and distanced myself
from the group while they started a new game. A few minutes later, my cousin came up to
me and said “I don’t know what you said to Sarah, but you need to go upstairs with
the parents.” Up until that moment I thought we were having
fun and hanging out with my cousins and some of her friends. We had other cousins down there— some of
them were my age or younger— so it’s not like I was intruding on my cousin and her
college friends. Am I the Jerk for telling my cousin’s friend
that her underwear was showing? Posted by
u/Motivational-Sandals 9 hours ago AITA for refusing to pay for the damages caused
by my SIL proving a point My boyfriend and I (23f) are currently taking
care of Nina (15f), my boyfriend’s half sister, because her parents will be out of
town for a couple of months. I’m average built but most my paternal side
are very tall and heavily built. Nina is not short but she’s willowy. She looks very delicate and fine-boned. Nina has been doing a couple forms of martial
arts since she was 7 or 8. A couple days ago I took Nina with me to pick
up a few things at my uncle’s. My cousin Ted arrived early from another city
so we stayed so I could catch up with them a bit. Everyone welcomed Nina and asked her how was
her life in another city and her hobbies and whatnot. My cousins Ted (22m) and Cole (17m) were openly
staring when Nina told them she does martial arts. Ted used to wrestle in high school and Cole
is on his school’s varsity football team. They said it was great she took martial arts
to defend herself but suggested a couple objects she could use against “really big, strong
guys” she may be unable to handle. Nina said sizes don’t matter and she can
protect herself against attackers of all kinds. Again, Ted and Cole stared at her and asked
if she seriously thought she could protect herself against someone their sizes. Ted was 6’4 and Cole was 6’3, both over
200 lbs. Nina said yes. Cole then asked Nina to go to the living room
and told her to try to fend him off. We watched as Nina dodged Cole’s grab until
he managed to hold her ankle and brought her down. She tripped him in return and tried to shake
him off while he tried to pull her to him. In the process they pulled the rug which upset
a table, knocking it into another table and the vase on it fell to the floor, broken. My aunt came downstairs and gave everyone
involved a scolding, telling them the house was no place for a fight. She then said Cole and I owed her a new vase. I told her this was all on Cole who suggested
they fight in the first place. Cole also said it was on him, but my aunt
wouldn’t have it. She said this was a teaching moment for Nina
to own up to her mistakes. Nina offered to pay but I refused to let her. Ted stepped in and said he got his mom a new
vase for Christmas so this was perfect timing and there was no need to make this a big deal. Nina and I left and my boyfriend agreed we
shouldn’t have to pay. My aunt later called me and said I was being
selfish and that the vase wasn’t even that expensive but it was the principles of things
that when you broke stuff, you need to take responsibilities. AITA?
