My daughter (18) and I are visiting my mom for
2 weeks on Tuesday. She has a 3 bedroom house, her room and 2 guest rooms.
When she booked our tickets, she told us that I’ll get one room
and my daughter will get the other. Yesterday she called me and said my niece (18)
is staying with her so my daughter and I are going to share a room. I asked why my niece can’t
stay at her own house half a mile away and my mom said that my niece has to share her room with
her other grandma for 2 months and that grandma snores. I told her that she or grandma could sleep
on the couch and I was promised 2 rooms when she invited us but all she said is plans change
so we could either deal with it or not visit. I said if niece has to stay at my moms
house she should take the couch since we were promised the rooms first but my mom
said no, we get a room and she gets a room and she just wanted to be nice by giving me a
warning that the sleeping arrangements changed. My mom already has problems with favoring this
niece. She constantly goes out to eat with this niece but is always too tired or wants to eat her
food when anyone else suggests it, I’ve caught her slipping money to my niece, and I’ve seen my
niece wearing what looks like heirloom jewelry that should be split between the kids equally.
She always insists that it’s fake and she got it off eBay but I coincidentally haven’t seen
my mom wear those pieces/haven’t seen them at all since my niece got her fakes. I also have a
feeling my mom is paying for my niece’s college (40,000 per year after her scholarship) because
she said her scholarship covers half, she works 10 hours per week, she said she isn’t taking loans,
and I know her parents can’t afford to pay that much. She gave each of my kids $1000 when they
graduated and doesn’t help with anything else. I told my mom if she wants to keep blatantly
favoring my niece by giving her what was supposed to be my daughters room, we aren’t
going to visit. She said that’s my choice and she knows where we stand. My older brother
says I’m being a spoiled jerk but my younger brother agrees that my mom shouldn’t favor my
niece and I’m right by refusing to visit. AITA for not visiting when she gave away my daughters
room? My brother Stephen is a truly bad person. He’s been cruel and a manipulator for our entire
lives. Stephen was kicked out of school as a 4th grader because the school couldn’t handle
him. He was let back in after a year but kicked out of the district for good during
his 6th grade. By the time Stephen was 12, it was an almost weekly occurrence for the
police to be at our door because Stephen was caught shoplifting or committing
vandalism. He only got worse as he aged. I’m sure you’re questioning where our parents were
and what they were doing during all of this. The answer is nothing: They refused to get psychiatric
help for Stephen or seek out any other resources. They essentially stuck their heads in the sand
until he was 14. He ruined one of their cars, at which point they farmed him out to an
uncle. He spent a year getting punted from family member to family member until he had
lived with every family member once and none were willing to take him anymore.Eventually, our
parents signed over guardianship to the state and Stephen went into a form of foster care where
he only had very limited visitation with us. Stephen had been diagnosed with conduct disorder
at 15. But as an adult, he was diagnosed with a personality disorder (antisocial.) He
refused therapy or medication. Currently, Stephen is in prison and he will likely
never be released after the crap he’s done. Me and my other brother Dennis have very limited
contact with our parents. Dennis does not bring his children around our parents at all. I keep
my son’s contact with my parents to an extreme minimum. I have never left my son alone with
them. My parents have begged to let my son have a grandparents sleepover at their house that
“every other kid” has had. I told my parents they should consider themselves lucky that I
even let them have contact with my son at all. Recently, my parents tried to argue with
me after I let it slip that I have listed family friends as the legal guardians for
my son rather than them. (My husband and I are both in good health. We’re only being
cautious just in case something happens, to make sure our son is taken care of.) I
snapped at my parents that I would entrust these family friends with my son any day over
them because they have shown they are incapable of actually taking care of a child. Dennis and
I were forced to grow up in constant chaos and anxiety. They were barely around, constantly out
of the house or pretending as if Stephen’s issues didn’t exist. I left but other family members
have been trying to message me things like “It was as hard for your parents as it was for you.”
And that nothing could be done for Stephen after a certain point and nobody signs up for a
child with antisocial personality disorder. But it doesn’t change that they hadn’t
supported us. They emotionally had checked out and left me and Dennis with the mess.
But now people who usually support me have said that I am being unfair to my parents and
that they are victims too. AITA? Some context, My parents are divorced and I lived with my mom
for 19 years but visited my father a few times a year. After a trip to see my father I was offered
an apprenticeship from one of my fathers friend. I was offered to move in with my father and my
step mother so I could take the apprenticeship. My step mom and I have never gotten along. I
don’t know what her issues has been with me but she seems to take all her frustration
out on me. It’s either calling me out in a group chat for letting some dishes soak
and going around calling me fat and lazy. To making me and me alone announce when
I’m home. I’ve tried talking to her about treating me better but she blows up and
cries to my father saying I’m arguing. Then theirs my father who enables her and
always tells me to try and keep the peace Now onto the reason I made the post, have
been sick the past two days from what seems like the flu and have been using the downstairs
bathroom instead of the shared bathroom that my step brother and I have access to. Well yesterday
I went downstairs to clean the bathroom since I don’t want anyone to get sick. The problem with
this bathroom is that their three dogs use it as a water bowl since my father and step mother
don’t put one out for them making the toilet full of dog slobber and dirt. I already have to
clean it most of the time to use the bathroom. Yesterday I was talking to my father and started
wiping the bathroom down the bathroom with Clorox wipes and paper towels while we talked. During
the conversation we agreed I was to wipe it down now and then use bleach to clean the bathroom
before bed. So I did like I was told and took bleach to every surface of that bathroom,
toilet, sink, floor, door, everything. Next afternoon while at work I get a message
that I need to bleach and wipe down the entire bathroom again because it hasn’t been properly
cleaned. So I messaged back that it was cleaned and the dogs probably drank out of it.
This just set her off and started saying it wasn’t cleaned yesterday or today and that
she couldn’t believe I was arguing over this. Once I got home I could hear my step mom
screaming to my father over the phone about me disrespecting her. I later got a call from
my father asking why I had to argue and start issues followed by “if you need me to teach
you how to clean a toilet correctly I will but theirs no need to be an jerk.” He saw me clean
and wipe it down but won’t back me up on it. I left the house after that but am
worried that this wasn’t the worth it to fight her on this so Reddit am I the jerk for standing my ground over a toilet Alt
account because my Cousin knows my main. I (15f) have a box in the pantry where I keep
snacks, it's not explicitly labeled as mine but when my cousin started staying with us I told
him it was mine. Every time I achieve something (a good grade, a new job, etc) I'll put a snack
in it like some cookies or something like that. My parents don't buy unhealthy food for us but
they don't mind if we use our allowance for it as long as it's not excessive. Now I and my
brother have an agreement that he can take a small snack from it once in a while and i get to
use his IPad when he's not using it. Because my cousin saw my brother taking from the box
he apparently assumed i was joking when i told him not to and took some too. I told him
again not to and explained why my brother gets to. he did it again and when i confronted him
he said that since my parents don't buy any he feels self-conscious about buying any for himself
I told him to just please not do it again. When i caught him stealing from my box again i flipped
out and told him to buy his own freaking food. I was driving home from work and a portable cat
carrier (tent material) blew into the road in front of me off the sidewalk. I stopped, got
the cat, parked, and stood on the sidewalk. No one was out. It’s not a good area so I didn’t
want to knock on random doors. I waited almost 7 minutes and then decided the cat was abandoned
and started to put it in my car. Then a lady comes out wi the another cat and starts yelling.
I explained that the cat had almost got run over being blown into the road and that I had waited
quite awhile before thinking it was abandoned. I gave her back her cat but she just kept screaming
how inappropriate it was I tried to take a cat in a carrier. I got mad and told her it was
inappropriate that she left the cat in a position to be killed on a windy day im a carrier
like that and left. So I set an alarm every day from 8.30 to 9 am in order to get up, reason is I
have difficulties waking up. I've been doing this for years now but recently got a new neighbor
and he is the first to complain about my alarm. at first he complained about it I apologized and
said I would reduce the volume which I did and now it's half the volume it used to be and I barely
hear it and makes it even harder for me to wake up. a few days after he complained about it again
and honestly I have no idea what to do about it, the volume is already super low and if I don't
set up an alarm I would end up waking up 10~11am. I believe the time I wake up is already
late anyways but since I study at home or sometimes at a library so its just
fine, and offices start at 7 to 8 am. anyways, he also complained to us when
we had guests and our relatives had kids which they were running around but
would be rude to tell the kid to sit down in front of his parents and he came to
complain exactly when the guests were here. on a note we have guests once or twice
a year since we are far from relatives I'm honestly sick of him complaining all the time
about things. another neighbor of us has kids and uses a bike in the house. even tho it makes noises
we literally told them it was fine and shouldn't worry about it and compared to them we literally
make 0 noises through the day I'm either studying or gaming with a headphone and my brother
is on night shifts and sleeping through days so am i the jerk for setting an alarm from
8.30 to 9 and should do things differently, or just ignore the guy Ever since my children
were small, our family (me&wife 45f&47f, kids 17m&15f) has had a tradition where we
let each kid pick a restaurant to go to as an "end of school year" celebration. They each pick
whatever restaurant they want for us all to go to, and order what they want. Over the years this
has meant everything from "banana split for dinner" to a steakhouse to omakase to
hand-pulled noodles. We've never put restrictions on it except it has to
be within an hour's drive each way. Yesterday, my daughter came to us with her choice,
and I was caught completely off guard by her selection. It's an *extremely* high end restaurant
that costs $315/person. That's a set tasting menu, so there's no way to, e.g., let the kids order
something expensive and my wife and I order the cheapest thing. (I checked whether they
had age restrictions and they permit guests over 13.) With tax, tip, and parking, it'd be
north of $1500. This restaurant is an extreme outlier for our city, which is why it caught
me so off-guard. Even the fancy steakhouses here only run $100/person even if you order
a nice steak, an appetizer for the table, and desserts. We've certainly let the kids pick
expensive restaurants before, but prior to this the most expensive things they've ordered were a
$55 ribeye or a $60 omakase; we generally budget around $1000 total for both meals, and anything
left over goes into the family vacation fund. My wife and I told her that it was out
of our budget, and she got very upset and said that we had promised her "any
restaurant she wanted." Which is true, we did say that. And she said I was going
back on my word. I said, quite honestly, that it never occurred to me that she could *find*
a $300/head restaurant, let alone ask to go there, so it didn't occur to me to tell her that
was off-limits. She got mad and said I was implying that she was being greedy. I said, "I
don't think you're greedy. I do think you're being unrealistic." She burst into tears
and said she couldn't trust us anymore. My wife and I are in agreement, but my sister
(who is very close with my daughter) called to tell me that it's important to never break a
promise to a child. I asked her if she would have anticipated being asked for dinner at the only
$300/person restaurant in a five hour radius, and she said no, but that that's why
she'd just never make promises to her children. She says I need to apologize
and either take her (we can, technically, afford it if we make cuts to other "fun" budgets),
or apologize and find a way to make it up to her. I want to note that my daughter is not generally
a person who asks for expensive things. She has never demanded lavish gifts, she's pretty
sensible about money generally speaking, and she's always shown gratitude for the
advantages that we all have. I don't know where this came from--I did ask, and she just
said that she wanted to try it and we promised. So, AITA for saying "no" here? Me (32F) and my
partner (37M) are in a disagreement. He thinks I'm selfish for considering this. I don't think I am.
He suggested I post here to see what you all say. We have been together 12 years. My partner has two responsibilities in terms
of the house. He walks the dogs in the morning and he goes to work full time (8-6). More often
than not, he falls asleep at 8pm. He works in IT. We have three children (7, 4, 2) and I am fully
responsible for their care, as well as every household duty, laundry, cooking, cleaning.
I am a SAHM, but I am also self employed, so after I look after the children all day, I
then work for a couple of hours on my laptop. My birthday is coming up. I asked
my partner what he would think if I booked myself a vacation, for a week,
on my birthday and went on my own. If he could use his PTO to take time off
to look after and spend the week with our three children - taking them to
school and taking care of the house. He told me I was selfish. "It's selfish to want to go on holiday for a week for
my birthday?" He said yes. My partner hasn't done a load of laundry in the
ten years. He cooks dinner 'occasionally' (2 x a month). He doesn't hoover, mop, or mow lawns.
I get it, he's tired and he works full time, but I work too, and I don't feel
appreciated. I just want a week where I don't have to placate a crying child,
or stop the toddler from running into traffic, or worry about everyone else's
good time while sacrificing my own. The last time I spent time away from the
children/house was when we went out for dinner for his birthday in March (After they
were asleep. I organised the babysitter). Oh, and my pap smear, which he tried to make me
take the children too even though he was home. The holiday would be paid for entirely by me. He gets 28 days of PTO, not
including bank holidays. Last year, he lost 12 PTO days because he
didn't take them. (We're in the UK) AITA We live in an apartment with two bedrooms.
The big one we sleep in, the small one we use as an office/gaming room. I have a huge desktop
computer which I use both for home office once a week, while she hooks up her work laptop to the
screens and uses it for home office 2-3x a week. The home office has one big desktop computer.
This is my own personal computer I've bought with my own money. I use it for work and for
gaming. She has her own work laptops. She does not use my desktop computer. She connects her
work laptops to one of the monitors in there. Monday she worked there for home office. Tuesday I used it for home office, as
well as some gaming in the evening. Wednesday, again she used it for home office while
I went to the office. She said she also wanted to use it in the evning to do more work, to which
I said I want to use it to game tonight for a couple hours. Mind you, the past 3 weeks I've
spent all my time moving us into this house, while she's been down due to medical
issues. Finally I have a little bit of free time again and I haven't been able
to do any gaming for atleast 1,5 months. Heres how I see it:We both
had something we wanted to do. She wanted to do some extra work in the evening I wanted to do some gaming for 1-2 hours How could we best reach that goal for both
of us where both of us get what we want? She has a laptop, very easy to just
take that to the livingroom/bedroom and I could get her monitor for her
so she could work anywhere she wants. For me to unplug the desktop, and
other accessories (keyboard, mouse, headset) would be a lot of hassle, compared to the little amount of work needed to set up her
laptop literally anywhere in the apartment. Keep in mind, moving in to this place has
drastically increased the standard of our living situation, as we used to live in a tiny one room
aparment 310sqft for a year, and we both quite enjoy having an office room. Usually she's the one
that uses the room the most during the week due to home office, while I tend to use it for gaming.
It's been a little more gaming than usual for me lately as I haven't been able to do it at
all for the past months due to life stresses. I ended up using it, and she got very
angry with me saying I'm a selfish jerk, even though she was home in the room all
day, and I ended up playing for 1,5 hours. Am I the jerk? Hello, I (22f) am trying to
understand if I'm in the wrong for something i do with my sons' toys. according
to my aunt (57) I am a major a**. So my son who i will call V, is just
under a year old. he is very curious and always wants new and fun things to do, as
do many kids. when he was around 5 months i came up with the idea of rotating his toys,
giving him a few, then about a week later, changing them out for other ones. i have a 3
week rotation that i do so every 3 weeks he gets the same toys but he thinks they are
new or at the very least is interested in them. i like this because i don't have
to buy new toys as often and any of the really annoying toys i only have to deal with
for a little while plus its easier to clean. V is obsessed with star wars, he loves to
watch it, loves the lightsabers and vaders voice. recently i got him a vader doll that
when you pressed a button he said something and his red lightsaber lit up and made the
noise, he loves it. Normally i wait to add new toys to the rotation but sometimes
my excitement gets the better of me . My aunt recently visited and brought with her
one of the noise and light up firetrucks that are about a foot tall. i told her how much
i love it and how much he would like it. i immediately went to put it in my closet and she
stopped me and asked why i wasn't giving it to V. I explained to her what I said above, that
I rotate toys and i would give him this next rotation because he already got a fun new
light up noises toy. she went OFF! she claimed that i was a horrible mother for depriving my
son of toys and that children should choose what to play with. when she said that I became
kind of snarky and said, when he can wipe his own butt he can choose his own toys and
that might have made me kind of an a**. she ripped the firetruck from my hands and dropped
it Infront of my son saying that he will ALWAYS have access to any toys she buys for him and
they were except from the rotation. I said no, I'm not going to remember all the toys you bought
and I don't want him having a bunch of sound toys at the same time because it overwhelms me and
him. she said if I don't exempt him she will take back all the toys she got him and bring them
to her house so he can play. I told her to take the truck and leave, she did but not without
calling me an abuser and a horrible b word and mothers. AITA for "rotating" my sons toys? I
(25M) love my girlfriend (24F). She is chill, funny, and kind. Recently we got into a bit
of a heated discussion because of something I pointed out. When I first met her, I realized
she wasn’t very social. She likes alone time, to spend nights alone (I understand
because she does work a lot) , and isint very outgoing. She’s not anti
social though, just a bit reserved. But she doesn’t really have a big friend group. Myself on the other hand, I have about
25 friends. 10 very close friends. She only has two girl friends and the three of
them only hang out like every other week. Maybe it’s because I came from a small
town where everybody knows each other, and comes from a more populated area.
I did think it was a red flag though at first. Since I’ve had the same
friends since early childhood. Anyways, for her birthday last week, I tried to
put together a party and I asked who she wanted to invite, and she only said those two friends.
For my party, I’m planning on having 25+ people. I said, “that’s it?” And mentioned casually when
we talked about growing up in my town that a girl who went to high school with us got made fun of
for only having 1-2 friends. She said to me “So it’s a problem I only have 2 friends? People
haven’t counted friends since high school “ I wasn’t counting friends. I was
just saying. Before I met her, I was hanging out with my friends
very frequently. They go out for dinner or have sleepovers every
other week. MAYBE once a week. Anyways, AITA? I didn’t mean to
make her feel bad. I just made an observation. So I (22F) have a friend
(25M) who asked me to look after his son (4M) for a couple hours. He said
he’ll pay me €10/hour so I accepted. While babysitting his son, his girlfriend(25F)
came over and was surprised to see me. She asked what I was doing here and I
told her I was here to watch his son. She then asked if it was like a last
minute thing because his mother cancelled. I said no, he asked me about a week ago but
I don’t know if he previously asked his mom She said that’s impossible
because not even two days ago he told her his mother was watching his son So I was like well the only thing I
know is that he asked me to babysit, said he’d pay me so I accepted. She got mad and asked if there was
something between him and me. I denied, repeated that I’m only here
to babysit and that’s it. She said that since I knew he was in
a relationship, I should’ve declined. So I said like "listen, I’m sorry he lied
to you but I’m only here to get paid." She said that nobody accept to look over
somebody else’s kid only to get paid. I said um yes, people who want to get paid do. She said that I was playing with her,that if
I was respectful of their relation I’d leave. I refused. I told her if she’s so mad
then she could call her bf and demand an explanation but I was staying
here to do what I was paid to do. She left and I didn’t hear
from her again, until recently. She texted me saying that I would never
babysit for her boyfriend again and that he agreed with her on it. I didn’t replied
because I really don’t care, I’m not even that close to the guy and like I said, only
wanted to get paid. I was paid and that’s it. But when I talked about it to my mom and sister,
they said that I should’ve left when she asked me, to avoid any drama between them. I said that’s
not my problem. I got asked to watch over a kid, I accepted. If her boyfriend decided to
lie to her about it, it was not my fault. But now I’m not really sure and I just wanna know AITA for babysitting my friend’s kid and
refusing to leave when his gf asked me to?
