Hi everyone, This is a doozie and I think
I might be the AH, but I wanted some opinions. I'm a (48m) who inherited a beach house from
my grandfather. The house has been in my family for generations,
and it has a lot of sentimental value to me. I am now with my long-term girlfriend for
seven years after a divorce from my first wife which ended on good terms. She has a daughter from a previous marriage,
and I have a daughter from my marriage as well. Our daughters are each 17 with mine being
basically three months younger. Kara, the oldest will be 18 in May. Kara has been in my life for seven years and
we have a good relationship however she has an active father in her life so I did not
fill that role. I was in her life 50% of the time so I have
no doubt I played a large role in her life, but I wouldn’t say father, but others do
say a nonlegal step-father. I have my daughter, Emmy, half time as well
aside from Summers where I had her more due to my and my ex’s lifestyle. With that said, my ex and I have a good relationship
as does our daughter with all of us. Kara and Emmy have gotten along, and they
are friendly. They have made plans independent of myself
and my GF but they don’t consider themselves sisters or best friends. Now to the issue. Kara will be going to school near the beach
house and has asked if she can live in it to save the money which would be significant. Emmy approached me and has said she wanted
to live there after the Summer but wanted to live alone while also in school. The home is more than big enough for two,
but she pointed out that they have very different lifestyles and would be far more comfortable
alone or with a friend if I insisted she live with someone. It was a frank conversation and she brought
up the fact that the home will be hers one day, so it made sense, and she’s right,
the home will be hers by law in a few years as I will pass it to her. My GF and Kara are very upset and calling
it favoritism and pointing out that she will already be set for life between having a free
ride to school via scholarships and housing while Kara will be using loans. And may have to take a gap year or attend
another school altogether. They are asking me to reconsider, and I think
I’ve damaged my relationship. AITA for this decision? I agree that it’s favoritism, but Emmy is
my daughter… Of course I’m going to favour her, right? Not
a serious or life altering situation. For context, I (33f) live in the UK. We have quiet sections on trains and I booked
my ticket specifically so I could do work on a table in the quiet section on my laptop. My friend Lea (34f) sat opposite me. A man (40s/50s) was sat next to me and about
15 minutes into the journey, starts watching Friends out loud on his iPad. I put my headphones in but it was loud enough
that I could still hear it. My friend and the person sat next to her were
just giving him dirty looks, but he was oblivious and munching away on his sandwich. So I said: “excuse me, would you mind turning
that down just a little bit please?” He said no. Literally one word, no. Then I mentioned that it was the quiet section
of the train and he laughed at me and said “are you go gonna tell on me?” It was so bizarre and annoying, but my friend
just gestured for me to stay calm and leave it. So I closed my laptop and started watching
with him. And commenting. “Omg I love this bit!” “Watch the next part, it’s soooooo funny.” “Oh, is this the one where X happens?” I’m not a massive friends fan but I know
enough to get by. He didn’t respond, just kept giving me irritated
looks but I kept going. He moved the iPad from the table to his lap,
without turning the volume lower at any point. So I just carried on peering over his shoulder
and commenting. He finally slammed the iPad case shut, grabbed
his backpack and walked off, presumably to find another seat on the train. I opened my laptop and carried on working. After we got off, Lea said I should’ve just
left it and not reacted to him, but it was a 4hr journey and I had a lot to do. I paid extra to get a table seat, that too
in the quiet section. She said I could have offered him my headphones. Maybe if they were over-ear, but they’re
in-ear and he’s a stranger so, no. She said I kind of invaded his personal space
– I didn’t touch him or move from the confines of my seat at any point and she was
like no but watching someone’s iPad is an jerk move. We’re not in a fight, just a lighthearted
debate on whether or not I’m TA here for how I went about it. Hi all, first time posting, long time lurker. So my (38m) wife (37f) insists our children
(5m, 3f) bath at least every other evening before bed. I think it’s ridiculous to bath them so
often, growing up we’d never bath that often and if we did it was normally because of football
etc. I’ve tried to stop bath times being so frequent
but my wife refuses to compromise and keeps doing them and I don’t want to start a argument
over it. Talking to my wife isn’t getting me anywhere. So I’ve told her she now has to pay for
the additional energy bills over a set figure, something like 70% of last months bill I’ll
keep paying and she pays the rest (I pay the mortgage, childcare and a majority of the
household bills, I earn considerably more than my wife who works part time) obviously
I don’t want her to pay for the entire energy bill as I work from home etc and that wouldn’t
be fair. Anyway she’s now calling me an jerk and
I think it’s the perfect compromise. So people of Reddit, what do you think? Note: me and my fiance get along really well
with everything else, but we've just had a disagreement with this. He wears his late brother's wedding ring on
his right hand, and his brother's necklace. I can get behind the ring because you don't
really notice it as much, but the necklace is more noticeable. It has his brother's, brother's wife and their
daughter's initials engraved on it. I asked him if he'd take off the necklace
just for our wedding day. I also have a necklace I got as gift from
my mom that I'm not wearing on the day because it doesn't go with my dress. It's just one day and he can wear the ring
if he wants. My fiance refused and said it's his brother's
and he's going to wear it. My husband and I (34) both have decently large
families. On occasion I'll host family get-togethers
for everyone to catch up on things, drink or just hangout. I'm in charge of cooking dinner for everyone,
and sometimes my close family will help with the cooking. There were two different times at a get-together
where I don't recognize someone there and my husband wouldn't either, even my mom or
aunt didn't know who they were. I found out it was just a distant cousin of
mine. So seeing people I don't recognize or know
who they are is a reoccurring thing I just had to get used too with two of our families
this big. I hosted a get-together last night, and it
wasn't as big as some of the other ones I've been too or hosted in the past but I did see
a woman who I didnt recognize. I didn't mind it, but I asked my husband who
the woman was and he told me she was a friend of his uncle. I finish up cooking with my aunt and everyone
comes in to set up their plates. The family friend came up to me and asked
me if I made anything without gluten. I apologized and told her no, I didn't. She asked me if I could make her something
and I told her it took me nearly the whole day to cook and that I just want to sit down
and relax now. She got defensive and said that if I'm making
dinner for all of these people that there should at least be someone else that's gluten
free. I told her that there is no one that I know
of in my family that has a gluten intolerance and if I knew if she was going to be here
I would've made something for her. She yelled at me, saying that I ruined this
for her (which I was confused about, ruined what?) and that she's never going to come
back here. My husbands uncle came in and told me that
I should just make her something to eat and to just get it over with and I told him no,
she can eat whenever she has a opportunity too, I don't want to get her sick and that
I'm tired and done with cooking for the night. They both ended up leaving and I was talking
to my husband about it and he got mad at me saying that I pretty much ruined the dinner
for them and that I should've just made her something to eat and that his uncle will probably
not come by here again. AITA? My (32f) friend (31f) is always late. Most of the time I just deal with this fact
and bring a book with me when we're meeting up because I know I'll be waiting at least
20/30 minutes for her to show up. It irritates me, but I'm used to it. We booked a holiday together and were due
to leave yesterday. It's a train that goes to another country,
so you have to get there around 60 minutes before departure time so you can go through
security and customs etc. I told her I'd arrive 90 minutes before to
give myself a bit of leeway in case there was an issue with the train. She said it was fine, she'd just get there
60 minutes before, as we've taken that train a lot and there's never been an issue. I asked her three/ four times to show up a
bit earlier just in case but she just told me to relax. I'm sure you can guess what happens next. I get to the station in time, and I'm waiting
there for her. She then texts me that the train she was meant
to get to arrive at the station had been cancelled. The next one was not for another thirty minutes. She says she's going to run to another station
20 minutes walk away and get the tube, but she's not sure when she'll arrive. I say, okay that's fine, I'll go through security
and meet you on the other side - just concentrate on getting here. I go through security and it's manic, like
packed. So I messaged her to suggest she get an Uber
to get here as soon as possible. She said she'd just get the tube and would
probably make it. She got to the station in time, but the queue
for security was too long and she missed the train. I'd already got on the train at this point,
so I suggested maybe seeing if she could get another one later, but the price for them
was ridiculously high, so she just stayed behind. She's super upset with me now because I'm
enjoying the holiday we were meant to be on and she thinks I should've just waited for
her, and that I abandoned her. I think it was her own fault, and I warned
her several times to be early or risk missing it, and I didn't want to waste the money I
spent on
the trip. AITA? I have five kids. My fourth child, Jack (fake name), recently
turned sixteen. For my oldest three, after they got their
driver's licenses I went and picked out a car with them. The cars had to be used but in good condition,
and they cost around 10k each, with my oldest son's a bit less and my daughter's a bit more
(inflation). My parent's have always preferred Jack over
the other kids. We have had several fights about this over
the years, and it has really strained my relationship with my parents. For my older children's sixteenth birthdays,
they gave the kids cards with a few hundred dollars in them, which is a pretty standard
grandparent gift, and I never said a word about. For Jack's birthday, they gave him a check
for 5k. While I didn't say anything at the party,
I was pretty surprised and annoyed. When I talked to them afterwards about the
disparity they said they had just sold some land and had liquid cash at hand. We fought, and they called me an entitled
brat, nothing new under the son. When we were getting ready to go look at cars,
I told Jack to bring his check from his grandparents. He asked why, and I said because I would pay
for half the car, and his grandparents were paying for the other half. Jack was upset because he thought the 5k was
"just for him" and that I paid for the cars for all his older siblings in their entirety
so I'm treating him unfairly. I pointed out they didn't get 5k from their
grandparents, so it would even out. He said "two wrongs don't make a right." I won't transcribe the entire argument, but
he was extremely upset and said I ruined his birthday and now he isn't sure if he even
wants a car, to which I said that's fine and if he changes his mind he can let me know. He also called my parents, who rang me and
called me an jerk for trying to "steal" their gift. We had a pretty intense fight, where I said
some things one probably shouldn't say to one's parents. They said depriving one son to try and keep
everything even between all kids is cruel and neurotic. They asked if I would take money out of their
college funds if they got scholarships. I said that wasn't remotely the same and they
called me a hypocrite. I F17 was tasked with the decision of whether
or not to chop down a significant tree to my family. For some backstory: My great grandfather and his wife built the
house we live in currently next to this large oak tree. When they finished the house, they carved
their initials into the tree in a heart with the year. Ever since, I every time a member of the family
finds their “forever partner” (who they’re getting married to), they carve their initials
like my grand parents did. Well, my older brother got this girlfriend
and got her pregnant. They were great together and because she was
pregnant, we new she’d be in our family forever. My brother happily carved the tree and we
were thrilled. It came out a year later that he cheated on
her and she dropped him. She’s been kind enough to still let our
family have contact with my niece and to us she is still family. Now, this brother of mine who CHEATED on her,
wants to get rid of the tree. He says it’s because she’s not his partner
and we can always recarve the names. However my great grandparents are long passed
now and we love their original carvings. My parents and grandparents are angry with
him and don’t want to get rid of the tree, but they said they were leaving the decision
up to me and my younger sister because we are the next ones to sign. Neither of us want to get rid of the tree,
but my brother said we would be terrible people if we didn’t because we’d be forcing him
to hold onto his past. AITA? I (32F) was on the bus with my 5-year-old
daughter when we got on at a busy stop. There were no empty seats available, except
for one near a person using a wheelchair (40M). I asked the person if they could move their
wheelchair to another spot so that my daughter and I could sit together, but the person declined,
saying that they needed the space for their mobility device. I was taken aback and frustrated by this response. I explained to them that my daughter was very
young and needed to sit next to me for safety reasons, but they still refused to move. I ended up having to stand for the entire
ride with my daughter in tow, which was uncomfortable and tiring for both of us. When I told a friend about what happened,
they said I was being insensitive and ableist. They pointed out that the person in the wheelchair
had a right to the space they needed and that it was unfair of me to ask them to move. Now, I'm questioning whether or not I was
in the wrong for asking the person to move. AITA for asking a disabled person to move
seats on the bus for my child? (Technically my wife and I gave our son these
choices. A more accurate title would be “Are me and
my wife the jerks.” Also, obligatory throwaway account.) My son David told me that he wants to drop
out of high school. He’s not being bullied and enjoys hanging
out with his buddies at school. He just doesn’t like waking up at 7:30 everyday
and he thinks that school is a waste of time because he finds the teachers boring/annoying
and would rather try to become a professional YouTuber. I tried to persuade David, because he has
less than a year and a half left of high school. He can still make YouTube videos on the side,
but unless he becomes famous, he won't be able to make a living off of it. And it’s impossible to get a decent job
or promotion nowadays without a diploma. Plus, if he ever changed his mind about going
to college then a high school diploma would give him that option. But David was not listening and said he would
just wait until his 18th birthday (in October) when he would be able to drop out without
me or his mother’s consent. I spoke to my wife and we then sat down with
David. We told David that we would allow him to drop
out of school, but if he drops out, he has two choices: Either get a job and start paying
rent at 18 or be out of the house. David told us we were being ridiculous because
he would never be able to pay the rent we’re asking unless he works two fast food jobs. We told David that that is going to be his
reality if he’s a high school dropout. If he wants to be treated as an adult and
make a huge adult choice like dropping out of high school, then we will treat him as
an adult and let him face adult consequences. David was not happy, but the talk has luckily
worked because he says he is no longer going to drop out of high school. Most of the other parents we have talked to
said my wife and I did the right thing, because part of being a part is stepping in when your
child is about to make a huge mistake. But several other parents have told us that
we are being too controlling because David will be a legal adult in a few months and
we should let him make his own life choices. My wife and I think letting David drop out
of school would be ridiculous and as parents we’re supposed to step in before he makes
such a huge mistake. But several people agreed that we were being
too controlling, so I want some unbiased perspectives. Are my wife and I the jerks? I (F32) got a private text this morning from
the mother of my son’s (M7) classmate. She told me that apparently my son has been
calling her daughter’s traditional lunch weird and things as such and apparently that
is making her daughter feel uncomfortable and insecure. She asked me to please talk to my son about
being more sensitive and respectful so her daughter doesn’t feel excluded. Now, I feel for this woman as a fellow mother. No one wants to see their child feeling sad,
but overcoming insecurities is a big part of growing up. Additionally, I thought it was ridiculous
of her to criticize my son, a 7 year old, for making relatively innocuous and curious
comments about food that is not familiar to him. He’s at a curious age and is discovering
the world, and I refuse to try and limit him and shut him down for not having the emotional
sensitivity of an adult. Politely, I told that mother that I was sorry
her daughter was struggling with insecurities, and I found some online parenting articles
about building your child’s confidence to send to her so she could use some tips to
help her daughter out. She replied and said I was acting completely
shamelessly and disgracefully, and I am not able to text her anymore. AITA? My sister and her partner are having a baby
in October and are planning on living in my parents house for the first few months of
the babies life. I have a daughter who will be one in September
and we usually stay at my parents house anytime I visit home (we live far away). Here’s the issue. I am refusing to stay in my parents house
while my sister and her newborn baby are there and it’s upsetting my mother. I am not doing this to hurt my parents and
have explained it just wouldn’t make sense to have us all under one roof. Firstly my parents have a tiny bungalow and
if we stayed they would have to give us their bedroom (my mother suggested this) as the
only other free bedroom is a tiny box room which isn’t big enough for a bed and a cot. This would mean my parents would have to sleep
on couches. Secondly a newborn baby crying would be too
loud for my daughter and my daughter playing would be too loud for a newborn baby (again
the house is really small). Third my daughter is in crèche and picks
up any sicknesses going there and I don’t think it’s a good idea to have a sick toddler
around a newborn baby. My mother is upset that I’m “doing this
to her”but I have no malicious intent and am trying to look out for everyone’s best
interests but her reaction makes me feel like maybe I’m TA I (24F) and
husband (25M) have a one year old child together. I have quite a big extended family that I
hardly ever see, so I post many photos of my child on FB (I have allll the privacy settings
on, and have gone through my friends list deleting people I don’t know anymore). I have about 250 friends on fb and they are
all family or I know them personally. My MIL on the other hand, has over 8000 people
on fb. She has zero privacy settings and approves
anyone who asks to follow her. Right after babe was born, she started stealing
my photos off of my Facebook and posting them to her own (like she had taken them herself). She would post half naked photos of my child,
she stole probably 200 photos off of my Facebook page, and she prints these photos out and
posts them around her house. All of that doesn’t really seem like a problem. Just a grandma loving her grand baby right? Wrong. I have younger family members with photos
of my child on my Facebook. My family members, not hers. She has photos of my younger cousins holding
babe around her house. She has photos of my mom holding babe around
her house. She has tried to tag herself in my photos
on Facebook so they show up on hers as well. I tried to talk to her, ask her not to take
my photos off Facebook and I would send her photos to post as her own if she would just
ask. She said sorry, that she wouldn’t do it
again. So I let it go. Two months ago, just before babes first birthday,
she posted an online album of my daughter. 125 photos in this album. 120 of them from my Facebook. My mother, my grandma, my aunts, and cousins
(minors who’s parents have let me know they do not want their photos on her page) are
all in this book for over 8000 people to see. Also in this book, is my photos from having
my child. Me, no pants, no clothes, looking very rough
(I almost didn’t make it, I had a hemorrhage) so those photos are very personal yet she
posts them for so many people to see. I don’t post photos of my daughter without
being clothed. I’m to nervous about the creeps of the internet. Buy my MIL doesn’t care. She had 5 naked photos of babe in that book. So, two months ago, the day the album was
posted, I blocked her. My husband was on board and so was my SIL. But now a I have few family members telling
me that I’m the jerk because it’s the only way she sees photos of babe. I (26M) smoke weed almost every day. But I've only spent ~$150 on weed in the last
year. I smoke one or two tiny bowls in the evenings
but only after I'm done with work, gym, and chores/errands for the day. I sometimes take edibles on weekends. I do it because I like being high, but also
because I lift weights + run 5 days a week and need to eat at least 4000 calories/day
to maintain my weight. Weed gives me the appetite to eat "clean"
instead of eating less filling junk. My gf (25F) doesn't like that I use weed and
has asked that I quit a few times. She's worried because it's unhealthy and that
it might impact my career. But I have a great job that pays really well
and I'm good at it despite my weed habits. I also take my health very seriously. Weed and occasional binge drinking are my
only vices but I work out often, eat super healthy, drink tons of water, sleep at least
7 hrs a night, and never get sick. My gf has a key to my place and stays with
me the majority of the week because she has housemates. Yesterday I got home from the gym to find
her and two of her friends Alice and Tina sitting at my dining table with my weed and
bong. Alice and Tina start into a spiel about my
"problem" while my gf sits quiety looking sad. It was the same stuff about how it's bad for
me, bad for my career, one of our mutual friends who also smokes a lot was laid off earlier
this week, etc. I'm chuckling through the whole thing. Once they were done I tried to explain that
my career and health are both doing well. At that point, Alice says "sorry but this
has to happen [name]" and gets up to throw my bong in the trash. At this point I get mad and I snatch my bong
from Alice. I tell them I'm not going to let myself get
lectured about my "problem" by three women who binge drink at least once a week. Especially not by someone like Alice who does
ket or coke whenever she drinks and has an actual substance problem. And my gf who gets sick every other week is
not an authority on health. At this point Tina tells me "keep ruining
your life you freaking addict" and they get up to leave as my gf is crying. I asked my gf weed was really the problem
but she just kept crying. Before they left, I told my gf that when she's
ready to talk she can reach out and she nodded. My gf just texted me asking if she could come
over and talk. I haven't responded yet. AITA for how I handled this situation? I dated Olivia for 2 year. The break up was mutual and we stayed close
friends. My girlfriend now, Josie, isn't a huge fan
of me being friends with Olivia but is working towards accepting it with her therapist The big thing is both of them come from different
backgrounds. Olivia's mom is a NP and her dad's a lawyer,
so financially her life has been good. She's the only children so a lot of attention
was placed on her. Josie grew up in poverty and both her parents
ODed when she super younger. her brother was her main guardian but a lot
of her teen years was working so she could survive for herself. Josie admits she gets jealous when Olivia
talks about her life, or when I start worrying about Olivia's mental health. Josie and her friend was discussing colleges. Olivia goes to one of the top 20 schools,
while Josie goes to a CC. I proud of Olivia for getting in. Well Josie and her friend started talking
about the kids who get in because their parents usually have a lot of money. I got the sense Josie was talking about Olivia. She said she wasn't, but realistically students
like Olivia have more opputurnities and resources that will help get admitted, compared to kids
like herself, who are either working or at school. I told her Olivia worked really hard to get
into that school. Josie said she knows that, she's just saying
it's easier to do extracurricular and volunteer hours when you don't have to worry about how
you're going to afford groceries. I told her she was just jealous of Olivia
again and it's getting really sad at this point. The admission team clearly saw something in
her, that got her accepted beyond her social class, and maybe if Josie had balanced her
time better she could have made it in a school like that. Josie left in tears with her friends. AITA?
