Pour Minds in The Trap! with Karlous Miller and Clayton English

[Music] [Applause] [Music] first of all the new merch we're so cute yes because taylor the brown one like that [ __ ] is fire yeah taylor did that that's fire taylor the goat speaking of goat how's your throat you went great i'm a lady that doesn't have anything to do with that man did y'all check on your people in texas yes my sister is going through it yeah they slide my mom didn't have no power and then her power just turned back on this morning oh yeah she didn't have power for like a day and a half and then her sister her pipeline so her home frozen now it's flooded it's flooded yeah so she had to send the babies to orange where i'm really from but it's snowing and orange too yeah she's crazy avalanche season you just up in atlanta chilling getting drunk [ __ ] down there in a crisis i said be safe though and we just love him that's crazy my mama just actually live too she was here for three months in atlanta visiting me yeah three months i like how this is visited yeah this slick moved up it was your hair she just visited why she got your bed that's really how i felt too because it was like she was only supposed to be here for a month and then she just kept making excuses for why she was gonna stay and i'm like sis let's see like if you don't want to go home just say it's all fun and games just tell everybody to go to bed but she finally just went back to houston and then what happened a week later it's a [ __ ] snowstorm and her paw was gonna turn off guilty i don't feel guilty [Laughter] when i used to go places when she was out here she would be like where are you going what time are you coming home first of all this is my house wow oh my legs on your mama you got to because remember i used to say that to us now you got to flip this you got to figure that ain't what you should have just said i said first of all this is my house [Music] hey what is the big deal do you not trust how you raised me look i'm about to go out i'm about to have a good time and i'm gonna be responsible because you raised me right now there you go you got it though we tried as [ __ ] like you know that's what it's food like i talked to her about the crazy [ __ ] like me and alex just did that photo shoot the other day and i sent her a picture of it and she was like you look great very exceptional pose i like it and the [ __ ] was busting [ __ ] real good it wasn't photoshop i'm dead i'm asking why don't we find out we live in an era where some people ain't comfortable with using a real [ __ ] he's cliffing on me no photoshop you dream clear it was just an opportunity for you to talk and shake lasagna no no that remember that thing that big brown guy you remember al he used to you know what she do i like elf [Applause] lock it up oh my goodness what's the update like what's what's the temperature on that after valentine's day like in the women community what's the what's the feedback from this is post valentine's song good evening i wasn't expecting anything you know i mean i don't either but it's a pandemic i think we're gonna take this y'all some candies was like 60 off the next night some candy you know go get all that [ __ ] i knew that they see i knew by the time some kids they was going to try to make people forget that the rest of the year they've been showing their ass got to make up for it on valentine's day cheaters do the best on valentine's day yeah yeah you got a lot of [ __ ] no like cheaters like man men that cheat it's got the highest rating let me give you let me give a shout out to all the cheetahs then all the cheaters that's in the good space right now that's already [ __ ] up your new opportunity salute to y'all man i know y'all watch this show imagine being on a valentine's day date in a cheater's what the [ __ ] would you do you imagine you eating your food and all you hear from over your turtle this is what we're doing [Laughter] oh uh-oh i'm gonna be like uh who need to refill i'm gonna start acting like the waitress i'll be right back what's your stupid ass doing here you probably wasn't eating that food but you was in there with that [ __ ] now i did one of them it was an accident we gonna have to air it out it was frozen outside and i needed somewhere to sit so y'all ain't getting nothing no i mean we're we've been really busy though did y'all get yourself something like individually yes i did i let me just say cause last time we was on the show um you said i lived by the utility club i moved up on your head [Applause] that's what we call a parallel move oh yeah no the closet is on the first floor and this is on the third yeah [Applause] now you gotta get it we're glad you moved i didn't know carlos said well you still like living with a white kid [Applause] baby steps no that's how i know no no no let me tell you what are you serious about moving you pack all your own [ __ ] let me tell you what happened though i hired some movers and they charged by the hour them [ __ ] was moving slow as [ __ ] i said this [ __ ] up [ __ ] i got to go you got it too i paid for three hours hey hey grab yourself he said i'm gonna get the band i said i got it [ __ ] go get the couch i already got the bed so you move half and pay for him she'll walk up behind she walk up behind me and pick me all the way above the ground is don't do it we got to draw the line somewhere i feel like i could pick carlos i'm dead i mean you're all the same size no i didn't mean it like that i didn't mean it like that though i love you you weren't saying that last night nasty i'd be amazing that wasn't even that wasn't even last night oh welcome back to the fact that shows see don't you ever don't you ever turn your [ __ ] back on me as soon as you boy i'm dead you like this hat i think so fan made this thing i think so i don't know if it means bringing the ass back to atlanta it's the old atlanta brain it's the old atlanta and then the beach it feels like freak [ __ ] georgia got the peaches and then you know didn't they bring freak [ __ ] back but it was y'all wasn't there i like were you i wasn't okay see y'all got to be like leaders and what did you yes people focus too much on the free card not the neat part it was a freaking picnic [Laughter] everyone a lot of those videos in the background there are people eating various things i get it though i love to twerk with a good sandwich now see how you know the [ __ ] was lit when the fellow cake people come out that's some real [ __ ] away people [ __ ] them people don't just come out if you don't got no real [ __ ] [ __ ] going on funnel i'll twerk when the funnel cake people come out that's when keisha bottom starts showing up this is some real [ __ ] people who else man you better not have [ __ ] outside and don't have no fun the [ __ ] daiquiri person that be making the uh guys when that [ __ ] okay what's your nacho stand we dude about [ __ ] that supposed to be outside right [ __ ] if it's a turkey leg man come on man turkey leg man you get the old goddamn turkey with the free dogs in the bag with the chicken rings they will have the chili and cheese it'll be one clump of meat in there yeah biggest [ __ ] what the snow cone what the snow cone stand dude you better chop it up you gotta have them snow cone shaved ice yeah all that [ __ ] and another one with like some shaved ice with some liquor in it for the grown food come on man you know my dad took me to preakness he wanted you to be somebody he talked about we going to get haircuts and y'all was y'all pulled up at the knee [ __ ] went straight to freak [ __ ] i was like damn wait a minute do you understand that at that moment if your father did nothing else ever for you in life he didn't have to [Applause] saw [ __ ] take pictures not yes and no but also [ __ ] take pictures but they were taking pictures they lift the skirt up had the ass out [ __ ] getting on top of the ass now i don't know yeah that's what i'm saying everything that you normally see in a stroll through atlanta you just seen this no i don't know where it's at now but it was the feedlot symbol but it said freak nick oh and i asked my dad god i get it my favorite freak neck t-shirts are the ones that look like the old too short album cover with all the black fish it's like lexus and then it's like a big booty on the ledges and then there's like some [ __ ] with some hats on like this yes yes brother you're the best t-shirt yeah who is that artist i wish i knew the original yeah who drew them shirts hey man we get that that's the next move when they had the black bart simpson on there like this black box and then a whole black suit like a chain remember they had mickey and it'd be minnie but minnie got a fat ass and she got some titties on them mickey and [ __ ] and make it be iced out and [ __ ] guys did y'all used to watch bees here and cut i feel like that's the closest i'm gonna get i'm gonna ever get to freaknig yeah cause i i knew i was gonna be a hoe because i was like wait a minute you don't wanna come to that realization you said you knew you was gonna be a hoe at six yeah oh my goodness this is not more you know i wanted to be there everybody was coloring in the lines i'm trying to go to freak nick partner what a busy the greyhound can we all get on that [ __ ] the first problem is that she was you were there somewhere i couldn't drive i was six take me to freak nick i bought a ticket to atlanta six bro you know what you know when you know you knew the whole i mean no wait that's not fair michael jackson knew what he was gonna be when he was six why could not know what i was gonna be cause he was six you're right what's the difference because i know a six-year-old [Laughter] championship in my neighborhood that didn't exist i'm gonna build grease lately all i need is a couple planks and some two by fours when i was six i couldn't stop cussing um i'm literally you was cussing already why how did you know those words that's the first time i ever how did you know about how when i wasn't asking i'm saying at six i could read when i was six and you want to know how you knew cuz i could see how you would know cuz words you heard it from adults yeah we talked about this on our show holding this hereditary you're not gonna just act like you ain't gonna have rubbing on your teeth are you cold i'm not gonna ignore that what happened to your teddy they not cold but like okay so i got this tape on here okay i want my hands it's the tape yeah be careful cause you can't pull some of your nipple off that tape sticky sticker it's something about areolas and tape that don't got a big nipple though nipples and gunshots that [ __ ] got you you took your nipple off didn't you come on in here they gonna tell you hey brown come on it's your turn they gonna call you by your outfit too hey bro i just feel like when you get to heaven that's how god gonna open you up like you know how you're waiting your iphone break he just gonna grab you by both nipples and twist twisting like you know you're so god you know yeah god gonna grab us by our nipples i'm just saying when he gets the looking and seeing what he cannot air nothing and he's gonna twist a little bit and your soul will come out and he'll be like oh [Applause] i know [Applause] [Applause] what about melodies from heaven [Music] rain down on me right now that's that's a hip-hop song that's someone a bt one dude you know i used to get now when i was younger so when it came on you said like mellow dude stop stop sit down not all right nc17 [Applause] oh [Applause] in here holding they titties because they love hip-hop we do if you love him he got a new documentary coming out i feel like that would be the perfect time to bring that was great that was an awesome segway like how that worked i see why right here that's why we got to start making the big bucks netflix wouldn't have been bold enough to have somebody rubbing on their titties not this not in there netflix just showed you oh in the promo okay i'll give that to you that's that was a bold move next we go there we know how to push down it don't be we just use the resources that we have to get the results exactly we're trying to get on here i know chris she's ready to come on the show she ready to come on the show paul you're ready to come on the show she's ready she's ready i'm on the show you can't leave nothing she's gonna come over the show you can't leave nothing hanging these days she gonna come on the show yeah she's going to appear she's going to appear she's going to make an appearance yeah got you right so an appearance [ __ ] make everything sexual so you mean she's going to drive i could not yes you could if you actually put your mind to it if you put your mind in that bag you could do it hey man i'm trying not to say i'm dead or a one man what i'm just saying you say amen i said i'm dead and then you said amen so he said or a woman i said amen yeah earlier i don't even know so with capri sun we drinking something with the freezer the fiction hurricane today what we gonna call it today because it's vodka it's vodka in the capri sun oh no no [ __ ] way damn we gotta about use that on [Laughter] i get nervous talking to you i need a little more drinking why are you nervous talking to me that's nervous what are you hiding from me a lot what frank this is the same place [Applause] my name is carlos miller and i am an advocate of pouring your own drinks for that exact reason right there you gotta pour your own drinks because [ __ ] don't know how much you want i mean after you didn't have it because ryan's definitely trying to kill us no he's not why why why ebony why see that's exactly right that's exactly my first love was like literally the greatest movie it's going to be true on you what's the what's the movie that had the most influence on you played members come stay with you and uh i swear to god i'd be my cousin ass if she [ __ ] my [ __ ] i'm gonna be child do you think man [ __ ] him actually don't do that now okay she couldn't she couldn't she could why not why not but she couldn't she not equipped what you mean she got a book clinton man what you mean she got a [ __ ] right is wait wait every [ __ ] got their own fat ass blood that's what we smoking around here it's thicker than it's thicker than me hey man if this was the 1950s i would love to have a like a tv show it's thicker than me and then the movie on the next episode it's bigger than me [Music] i like y'all thank you i like it y'all it was good because we are very we are real ratchet i know we are very rapid you drink a [ __ ] out we asked carlos to pull up on us we used to record andrea house carlos pulled up on and sat on the floor no he's selling the couch you had a couch you got the couch no i didn't have a couch but i thought we sat on no he didn't know he sat on the couch but we sat on the floor because the cords couldn't reach she was ghetto back in the day but carlos still pulled up on us and recorded with us i knew that there's a lot of porno movies that start off just like this [Music] that's how the music used to be in the 70s wow wow hey carol i'm here to fix your sink [Music] you said you need me to take a look at those pipes [Music] just let me grab my tool [Laughter] seems you have a little problem with some leakage maybe i can use my screwdriver maybe i should tighten that maybe i should tune it seems you got a leak oh man i'll get right on that that sounds good leaking and then i come in yeah i'm about to fix all this [ __ ] seems that the upstairs is leaking off [Laughter] i better get right on that let me grab my tool not the tool the tool [ __ ] you show up with no tools you're toolless your tools you can't be tools in these streets your tools you're useless i feel that that's how you go if you talking about don't do don't i was just sure my god is an awesome god don't do it one of the best one of the best and he is god all about himself he don't need no help okay come on preacher i know when i knew when i seen him the first time who he was going to be because i knew who he was how long away where you gonna be cause i ain't seen him i already told you okay you want to know him he know my name period you reaching out to him no i know where you stay oh he know my never mind come on he know my kids gonna send them straight to the upper room amen praise them oh you think you you think that over there [Applause] cut the game you all think just cause y'all down here y'all ain't your no responsibility cut together i definitely think that lex kid's gonna run up on her when she gets that oh no that's y'all [ __ ] up y'all like there you go [Music] and one thing about soulja boy one thing about soldier boy he gonna tell him like going to tell you when another [ __ ] line he don't lie i can't get in the way of a [ __ ] all the way be what it is though like way that [ __ ] said he had a video game system i don't know what that he did he ain't live ain't no [ __ ] gonna tell you exactly how the [ __ ] happened i don't know what the [ __ ] happened [ __ ] if soulja boy told you a story and it was regular you'd be like come on bro but if he told the soldier boy boy you keep asking soulja boy about [ __ ] that's irrelevant why nobody ask him the questions that matter like what soldier boy you had numerous hits why is your life soldier boy first of all that's the number one question that's the number one question because you remind you had a lot of songs that was big songs and you kept reminding you kept telling us that a-wrap was up next [Applause] no all i'm asking for is where it was arabs chance i don't give a [ __ ] if they fell out even if you was mad at abraham he was supposed to be on deck because you said it was his right hand man not adam oh [Laughter] [Applause] ram really ain't rap he was it was a rape no i mean nobody is what their name no his name was like abraham or something okay oh okay for real for real nasty now you getting into my personal space man he said don't do that that [ __ ] had when he had his run it lasted way longer than people thought it did it's lasting right now that [ __ ] do it all the [ __ ] he's saying oh soldier boy yeah he's a legend soldier boy is a legend and you cannot deny that you talk about why soldier boy tell him that ain't even his whole his name is soulja boy tell him yeah in history him and gucci man they are the stables they're not saying that not the stables no they are the stables they got because i'm saying think of how many people that came up under them they disabled them do you know how real that [ __ ] is but you ain't got no [ __ ] jumper that's some real ass [ __ ] i think so all right i don't think he was lying he wouldn't like it you want a bad [ __ ] gotta have breathe okay sense yeah i make hits period a word he been telling [ __ ] if you want this is me and clayton had this conversation one time you remember this [ __ ] when you gucci mane say balling like a [ __ ] with all these breeds yes that means have you ever seen her [ __ ] ball huh a [ __ ] ball hard last time i came over here my wig was a little stiff you see i'm [Music] stop playing with them [Music] i thought you was proud or something i knew it was something though because i couldn't see your ears you know what this is what we're not going to do she's got your muscles he'll tell you i'm i'm paranoid about that [ __ ] about weight about ears why women ears specifically why okay so i was messing with it for a little bit and um i had noticed that she's always had her ears i always said her ears no he said hi okay i was hot hurry and then it was like one time i finally seen that [ __ ] like like potato chip no potato chill you know like the potato chip could be burning in the bag it was like folding the legs flaming height like like the plain chips it was kind of it was like why you just tell me i wasn't like though i'm like why are you gonna try to hide some [ __ ] like that from somebody for that long that's a deal breaker no but i'm saying what it's the hiding [ __ ] that you know how in the movie uh hercules the [ __ ] keep coming up singing as the story go along that's them but they just say whatever oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right [Applause] and yell at each other oh y'all they didn't see the earlier episodes we used to have to delete episodes what you mean what happened because we used to be fighting that like yeah we used to we used to we were throwing we went through a rough spot in our friendship real quick yeah and we wasn't really welcome back this is 85 so therapy moment with lex and dre i'm gonna hit him with the montel wings this is eighty-five south shore lex p makes my life andrea uh and their friendship has taken a turn um and they're in a rough spot i love the background tell us tell us what happened between your legs will worry i said monte you know all right oh i'm sorry well montel and let me tell you what happened what'd she do so this beach she used to be on the [ __ ] wow and like no i'm kidding i'm kidding but no for real we did go through like a rough patch with our free ships it was actually like i think it was during the time that you did the show yeah it was so i brought y'all back together y'all was beefing kind of so you was about to tell the long version of how it brought y'all back together i would indeed bring us back together because honestly things did start getting better after that because it was like yo carlos came through we got some we was like carlos came on our show we ain't nobody wow and then we was like let's make this [ __ ] work so y'all was about to break up oh i know we hated each other and i think we both went through mommy's where we were like i don't want to do this show anymore like i don't want to do this [ __ ] with you y'all said it or just give him the boots you get in the the voice i got the painless version wow though that's crocodile that's armadillo she was like why i gotta be here we ain't even making all money [ __ ] this [ __ ] so it's all about the money exactly but i had to got her if it ain't about because i was woke don't you see what happened like this means i'm woke and you was talking like that so i was talking like this to her so when i do my hands like this that's when dread take me seriously if i say like she'll show up 15 minutes like dream we got to be on time she'd be on time i was here earlier than her today today's because i was like dream make sure you want tom today and she felt she felt it she knew you could have got a nice little discreet starbucks cup okay they know we'd be getting drunk but now y'all for real like our testimony so we definitely was going through a real fashion and then like you know we just carlos made a scenario you know it's up and it's stuck we signed the 85 man wait wait [Music] i didn't know it was supposed to be about comedy it's not nothing because we're not some we just talk i thought it was something i think we just think yeah that's all it is he's just talking a little [ __ ] through the scrunch thank you i appreciate it i really just wanna sometimes i flex and i'll be like i only wanna wear fabrics that i own oh give me that give me that i know i know i know we own the fabric um yeah what yeah this is my you know i'll try to put it man be wild i try to put some 85 south on my body you should every day you should i just what is that because they just came in here on my body [Music] don't do that what happened who was that you was just singing the hook from the swag yeah oh shout out to all the people who've been loving the ads man you know everything the ass the ads the ads [Applause] carlos you know i'll be taking my notes come on i will do something we'll be learning then i write jingles hey if you need them quicker talking about the [ __ ] i know a lot about now the heaviness of a titty let's talk about some titty tape a lot of women don't know where their titty weight is let me tell you what are you waiting for some tv up top oh you guys you got a message some titty i got some big titties so y'all be trying to go get the double-sided tape to make this stick and this thing you got to go to the industrial person that you hang up your pictures with wait a minute i literally got some industrial strength products yes stay away from industrial strength people don't put it on your body it's tight and it was just glue oh it's hey but that [ __ ] was a shamble a scam that lady's hair was nice i'm trying to support black people if they say black people in danger i'm gonna help if a black person is in a [ __ ] up position i gotta i'm gonna try to at least listen and be like huh well even if it was a scam that's a good one black person we got one so what i love black people we don't we're literally the most lit people on the planet period yeah like for real everybody want to be like uh it's hard for these dogs i know if they want to be like us i think they want to be able to do some of the [ __ ] we do yeah they just want to do this [ __ ] we do like you don't necessarily want to be that strong man like you could use the strength you talk about the year i can beat it though yeah you got third place yeah yeah that was my best your best one yeah yeah i was in that hole you pooted when you picked the thing up not pooty tang she pooted you know i love a good poop now i got to let it loose come on you legs to let it out pee and the pee is for pooty what the p stands for [Laughter] i never knew i never wanted to know that i think the story is i think it's a great story though okay i'll tell it tell the story dragon spell everything okay so lex p stands for um when i was in high school me and i went to all white high school everybody knows that who knew that every everybody i did i talked about it at home the last episode how many black people was in there um uh it was probably 10 of us but i was the only one who graduated okay i don't know they weren't my friends oh so you had all white friends but yeah that was cool though that was cool and that's the thing about it i had some cool ass white friends in school yeah that was cool i mean i'm gonna check a few saying in every others don't nobody [ __ ] hate white people it's specific yeah it really is it really it truly is we hate specifically the old ones the ones who in the background are the pictures holding the signs of them the ones we don't like yeah but my friends was cool so anyways we used to freestyle [ __ ] and um you know my last name is lexi so everybody used to call me lex and we was freestyling one time and you and the white guys me and the white people and so i said something about because i i've always had big titties i never had no ads this came later on in life when i had the money to purchase it so they're selling answers so at the time we was just like freestyling i was like yeah my name is legs p the way i'm shaped and that's it just went legs pee and the pee way of shame i'm gonna grow up and [ __ ] i'm gonna be great that's what you said yeah so you spoke this greatness i spoke about greatness but i also spoke to p because at the time i didn't know i was like well what i'm gonna do i'm 24 and i got no ass so i had to you're supposed to have no ass at 24. exactly everybody had ass i was parking in the strip club but you got to see you got to understand though you going what are you doing just clinton some women don't get there just the clinchers just i was trying i was like you want some sorak sometimes that [ __ ] comes later on in life you could have killed him with the titty huh you said what i said you want to know what's personally about like she you could really dance i didn't know like even when you didn't have no boobies i know you were still there what kind of [Applause] she can't wiggle like that with a dick in her and i did indeed you could do it with a [ __ ] i shot i showed you and will wait a minute just just wait hold up there's a lot of information too much i understand i'm gonna man i'm putting this out because what you gonna put out what is this smoke that [ __ ] information smoked that gelato man [Music] once in your life to all my [ __ ] who watching this and you bad bitchless get you one get you one especially if you live in a small town they know you can get another they're not but check this out you don't all if you're a good [ __ ] you don't have to be the [ __ ] that's paying for [ __ ] oh that's right if you don't have the money you got to convince her that your program is all she's missing what program i got my program i'm not gonna get into specific details just know that i have a seminar and a kid coming out to show any [ __ ] how to get a bad [ __ ] with with what you have yes and guess what it's called it's called you too can get a bad [ __ ] i promise you too our system cannot get a fail proof it's fail proof it depends on what your definition of a bad [ __ ] is though what's your definition it's not about money you can get a bad [ __ ] after my seminar that one thing that i could do was exactly what carlos said right and they led to me with all types of bad [ __ ] and me and that's gonna be standing there no i'm telling you i can well check this out it don't necessarily even got to be a bad [ __ ] i can teach you how to get the one because i'm a lady the one you want the baddest lady that you want whoever you pursuing that's right i hope you're watching this at three o'clock in the morning i have a seminar coming out to help all [ __ ] win some of these battles it doesn't always have to be uphill my brother get your friend or prank with you i'm telling you come on the prayer prank at you prank your chances i'm so confident in myself if you can't get your bad chick i will give you your money back that's right that's right i will give you a full money back guarantee i stand by this product 100 100 120 my six week program you'll be bagging dimes in no time my man i'm dead no working out you don't have to change your diet this is real this is not a scam trust me when i was the fetus a fetus i knew then that i would be great i knew once my feet fully developed i knew the type of person that i was gonna be and once i was born and i knew that my parents had made the decision to choose my life i knew that i owed them greatness then amen i made a decision and i refused to lose in this world so with my six-week course i can take you from being a sure loser to showing you how to win in this systematically oppressionist racist society how to win how to win how many will you realize like you could teach people how to pull a bad [ __ ] nine but you were six thank you so take my course i knew i i knew i was on some other [ __ ] when i was like when we used to be standing outside waiting on the bus and they used to be standing up looking out the window then once they started speaking and they know their name and i was like yeah i might have something and then once i they started giving me all the milk i was like i gotta buy milk and then i was getting ice cream every day i was like if you add this up i was in like fourth grade i was i was averaging like fifty dollars of lunch i had a whole empire i knew i was so thirty eight dollars in milk fourteen dollars in puddings what we do with starbursts hey yo we got school supplies yeah we need paper pencils all that it's time to re-up we're running low on supplies i was running the whole enterprise operation going wait on people to get off the bus he got some kool-aid [ __ ] now ladies you brought some drinks okay cool we good world in peace for jim all right all right you bring your phone man i was zack morris what's your favorite flashlight zach we was making moves man he was making more black moors black boys we was making moves at school man we were ordering pizzas for the teachers and [ __ ] we was doing our kind of [ __ ] that's how the movie begins yo what's up me and my crew me and my crews had the best lunches yeah what was this doing we had the best lunches that's how it began you spilled the drink on it i had a plug on chicken tender yo we was getting we was averaging 25 chicken tenders a chicken tin today i did we were taking that chicken tender day uh income so serious we planted somebody in the second lunch just to make sure we wasn't getting cut out of chicken i'm not gonna lie to chicken tenders at my school in high school them house was fire yo we the reason that the principal starts standing in the hallway no i'm just talking remember remember the bell remember the bell you have to be in class before the battle run where you go to those kids that used to run the lunch you know when the bell used to go off and people running i was running the lunch now you were probably wrong i was running [ __ ] i used to sprint to lunch you was running fast a little pizza made with gravy i had too much blue cheese blue cheese i put blue cheese you can't tell me she ain't never amazing she used to eat spaghetti sandwiches at school hell yeah with the garlic toast as the bread i knew it that [ __ ] i use mayonnaise for my grilled cheese that would just that sound very you know yeah i know you grew up around i used to definitely be eating chick-fil-a at lunch i had a [ __ ] that's because that [ __ ] was grown and he's not supposed to be [ __ ] with you he was every day it was a sponsor are you hurting uncle are you hurting me why are you here every day with chick-fil-a sir it was a jack-in-the-box yeah we need him to leave [Applause] put that food down it's a setup that man's a vulture i used to go outside to the car thanks man get see it's flashbacks no put out what kind of car you have i honestly i think he had like a a honda civic not a hard deceiver i got my legs he had a joke oh like a honda cv see at least in high school he my dude had a afford what was it the um mustang so you think you're better than me hell yeah yeah yeah he had a white boy too and he was white and he was white he bought him a new bush thing or it was just like no it was a new muscle it was a mustache on it no no because he was going to be on his friend i'm not spreading the point you couldn't even fit the mustang boom and he was white like that major [Applause] don't play now you see the root of the wow i went the wrong way and now i know who did the reset button when the last time you were a hat i had to fit your girls you like never until the day let me introduce this trust baby to you how many two right i'm gonna put this hat on it's gonna sit all my curls underneath autumn curls how is she cute what oh she's cute and you like what come on show me your hair afterwards i'm gonna show you abra cadabra what what what i i turned but i turned the tables around because you know how they used to have a whites only section and then a blackstone this is a black only person no blacks only she doing it only afterwards you know i said i don't know we get to lift up tonight now you get the leftovers and now you want to tell us there's a private beach no no this was a public park buddy now you want to tell me some private beaches to get out of nowhere all right whatever white ladies y'all old me and clayton 300 years worth of back [ __ ] oh they be trying to distribute it too have y'all ever [ __ ] a white lady before this ain't got nothing to do exactly exactly let's talk about it because i'm not going to know carlos have you ever [ __ ] the white lady before yeah look at him he lying where he's lying exactly so what's the difference the difference between me you just said the so look i've never [ __ ] the white person before i wa like is it different like do it feel different yeah you ever have somebody owe you money reparations no like when they literally owe you some cash i'm talking about reparations reparations that's what it is for me if i [ __ ] a white man there's some [ __ ] on this i'm supposed to master when the alien [ __ ] come guess who gonna [ __ ] [ __ ] oh wait why are we talking about what [ __ ] do they use this cause all the [ __ ] go all [ __ ] got to be we gotta you owe us a cut [ __ ] so good to be alien [ __ ] if the aliens come on this [ __ ] tomorrow and they land and they stay how long do you think they're gonna be here before one of them [ __ ] beat them if i got a land i'm gonna leave one of them purple [ __ ] talking about [ __ ] like regular [ __ ] it don't matter what color [ __ ] is getting hit black so you don't [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] what's the difference between the tell me the difference cause look no when it's [ __ ] you got this one hair on your beard that's so long i'm talking about [ __ ] [ __ ] like antenna no i'm just [ __ ] with you it ain't no different exactly you know it don't matter we're just people but you have [ __ ] the white woman before but you won't do it no more but is it different is it different from [ __ ] a black woman i really want to know like i'm curious you ever had a granola bar i have oh is it after you [ __ ] up thank you ladies what women [ __ ] different white women is it better different it's different they like to say [ __ ] too let me suck that is that better black women [ __ ] better black women thank you wow cause black and women got [ __ ] moves that you didn't even know like the lockers oh wow every one of them different yeah they're like wrestling they all got to finish the movie [Applause] yeah black women they all got their own separate finishing move sometimes it'd be the head sometimes it'd be like she could swallow the whole meat and tickle the ball sometimes they'd be a squirter sometimes they be the ones who grab the meat and then throw it and they boot it home like it's all types of things where i have to meet them put it in a booty haul yeah they like that you like that they like that do you like this they like it i'm actually you do you only like it if they like it i only like what she we know how you feel about the booty hole but look when i'm a guest in the puzzle i just follow the house just to be clear you did say put a thumb in your ass okay right so when you grab the meter you did that was you right okay we just following the protocols i never freestyled in the [ __ ] man i don't show up on my own booty play we're not talking about people y'all again we know where you stand on the beat we we believe it we believe it if you believe you can achieve it i'm just saying be holy i knew at some point you was gonna break out the booty put it in the hole you know what we're not gonna do this [ __ ] with you tonight not the booty these [ __ ] all they want to talk about is [ __ ] yeah i know you don't love me because that's all we like look [ __ ] legs legs don't live downstairs no more i don't live downstairs i don't want to talk about the booty hall no more i was trying to get up you see how i need to know i'm up now i ain't got to talk about the booty what you talking about the gooch you're gonna move down the gucci's in front of the booty hole the gooch she can go from the booty hall to the gooch you special man do you specialize in making [ __ ] uncomfortable yes i love making people feel uncomfortable why i love it what it do to you because y'all not y'all men have made women feel uncomfortable for so long i'm here it's amazing this ain't comfortable i'm comfortable okay i'm comfortable with y'all it ain't my fault it's probably nothing comfortable it's uncomfortable it's probably some boots it ain't me what's wrong with the boots i don't know it's armadillos they ready to come off now i like them armadillos thought and people don't know this but lex actually had to jump to get in the booth i sure did nobody laying down if you don't put jeans on you don't feel my let me tell y'all something because no i know that maybe one day you might see these what's t what i'm going to tell you what c i'll tell oh i'm a lady i'm a good girl it's fun on the whole side it's fun to be on the whole side it's fun it's funny some more vodka you got to get naked the whole side is fun i think people are scared of it though a lot of [ __ ] for whatever reason be scared of what people can think about that's one thing that i love about me and licks the key over there we don't give a [ __ ] when people think like we just don't do it i'm gonna do what we gonna do maybe she's gonna like me or you know i'm gonna do it for me if i want to be a whole i'm gonna be a hoe i feel you just might be a hoe i saw her at the airport who summer walkers pretty [ __ ] with the pajamas on she had the pretty girl boo it was sitting on a hat oh the well first of all clearly she got to be beautiful because people said we look alike i'm glad y'all know each other yeah how did you know what she was about to do what was the sign i wasn't about to say nothing bad i was about to say the other person that people say i look like oh my gosh cause lake said don't say it i just said because she said don't tell them this person must obviously no beyonce watch this show i figured it out figured it out what's that be cause like by the time that's okay by the time she go get her they'd be watching this in the makeup area i know that so she didn't she didn't at least heard him turn it off oh she heard him turn it never said off it off though she ain't never been like turn that off they just turned it off because they weren't supposed to was playing us in a barber shop and you still no it wasn't a barbecue [ __ ] it was a restaurant it was not a barber shop it was called cupcake kitchen showed us a cupcake kitchen for playing the 85 soft show on work cupcake kitchen and you were singing booty oh you were singing booty haul they did daddy probably saw i know [Music] but i hope y'all there's nothing wrong with it it's a part of the body [ __ ] should have there's a guy in your anus what's the deal stop see you always go too deep we like anything wait a minute anus it didn't sound too medical you're right coming it's a spot on your body [Music] that's the planet though we think about [ __ ] we was talking about it may or may not be a planet we don't know uranus is not a planet anymore we may have made that it may have been it anymore it is it's still mine it's mine it's been a planet serious this [ __ ] on assault period they haven't put us in history they said oh that that amy that ain't this on the map they're gonna talk about donald trump hillary clinton and dre alex anus they find life on mars and they zoom in real close and it's just like some martian business it's gonna be me like it's gone is that what i think it is what's going on with your hair man it's a natural king don't do him y'all like this that's wine for more liquor and he's talking he's natural you don't need no mom you already talking about your asses ryan said [ __ ] you're cut off yeah cause he gave you too much cut off he didn't want to cut you out hey don't do that you're gonna have to go back to because y'all know i like for a few days okay nah nah give me my rock get my fresh out baby i'm fresh out i hate to see you do it to yourself i don't give a damn especially if it's cold outside give me my rock y'all is that man these tickets are from last night is that all pimp man that used to be in the video like all the movies back in the day is he dead which one the one that used to be in all the pimp movies y'all know who i'm talking about what's his name dude he's going to say he's right not dude [Music] bishop no no no i'm not talking oh no don't do it movies i didn't say music videos you talking about dolomite is that the change let's google it hold on wait how the [ __ ] we gonna google if we don't know what we're looking for dolomite he was the man that used to be in all the pimp movies and he's been talking there's a lot of men that was in all the movies dynamite oh god i never want to [ __ ] hate the carlos we got this other movie we're going to start shooting right after this you want to just stay on set what's it called kung fu pimp yeah i'll do it okay we're going to run the same wardrobe we're just gonna change your name can you keep those shoes you would be good in the pimp movie i think we'll be a great piano did not tell you don't bring no [ __ ] fives back and i'm like i'm sorry no let me go try i wouldn't be that kind of pimp i'd be the pimp that's that's karen see oh see look at you yeah you're like later get us down he's way strong what's wrong with you you don't want to listen to nobody oh you just want to do your own thing i do i'm a good hoe she's a bad hoe see listen that's exactly what i mean there's no such thing as no good here no bad hoe that was a hoe a hoe is a hoe she want to be a renegade man listen man listen if she want to be a renegade no man because that case cause i can't center capable of doing good things but that doesn't make her a good hoe she gonna be believing and she's a heathen now listen you go out there with that with that weak ass good hoe [ __ ] yeah and you know who's going to knock you off your square a bad [ __ ] oh man because you could take one bad [ __ ] and that'll that'll eliminate five [ __ ] hoes five [ __ ] hoes evaporate you know first of all you know you know first of all baby i don't like explaining myself like an antacid tablet oh i'm sitting here explaining myself to a [ __ ] i must be on too much of the yeah the yak got you talking strong let's see and then tomorrow morning the [ __ ] gonna ask me why i don't let her say nothing wow trying to put us in a situation where you're gonna try to out think yourself and once you think you've done now you're gonna try to out-think me and that's where you're gonna end up lost i told you the first day i missed you don't you ever worry yourself thinking because what the [ __ ] am i here for you leave that to me i got the thinking part done well you know i tell a [ __ ] quick man just just do it don't you tell me what you're telling just do do what's the partnership you chose me not the other way around i wake a [ __ ] up every morning and i say hear your thoughts for the day come on and you wanna sit there you're right you're right you have a funeral to go to put on your frowny face listen i think his name was uncle fred baby nobody would ever know what the [ __ ] you were talking about uncle fred is somebody from your life baby and the fact that he stood out to you like a movie star only leads me to believe you was dealing with some two-bit chili pimp hey baby hi baby do you watch movies then oh that was the beauty in the beast just be the beauty i'll be the beast don't worry about what uncle fred got going on you right uncle fred probably did i know that's right daddy you know he ain't your real uncle anyway but you're my daddy the only family you'll ever need period that's him okay so that's him that's uncle his name is uncle fred that's max jr that's the mac oh that's the man i was talking about that's the mad girl that's the real thing that's the man what the [ __ ] she said uncle fred what would you do wait wait wait wait how much i got from you i got seven when i googled it he said uncle fred [ __ ] up what's his name his name max what's that [ __ ] and he was a real pimp right everybody was i'm a pimp by blood not relation y'all be chasing replay songs can't keep a little model hands off me that brother was easier than 90s and i wish i never met her at all daddy really how you singing that there wasn't no tick tock do you got anybody do you have do you have any [ __ ] that should be like i wish i never met you at all and i wish i never ever met her the [ __ ] was just crazy for no reason even though she's never been [ __ ] good wow what did she do what was crazy don't put me out there like that i don't i don't never get involved with nothing that looked like no [ __ ] she had a nice mug smooth i'm emotional she used to just like do [ __ ] like she's probably about to call you just over and over and over and over and over why are you just just answering even if you answer it was just like a cycle of just terrible behavior oh okay like just showing up not having no way out no way home i feel like was the [ __ ] good it wasn't worth all that see that's why you have you gotta have some good [ __ ] to be active that's why you got a [ __ ] leg this is the fatal mistake this is the fatal mistake women have been trying to get you put this [ __ ] up then some other [ __ ] come that it'd be terms and conditions that come with it they start acting different and being too attached like look you didn't give me that much [ __ ] to be acting like this oh how much [ __ ] do i got no i want to know how much [ __ ] do i gotta give you to act like one one punch i'm actually done one punch it takes [Applause] exactly and i'm like what the [ __ ] can't even talk to her ain't gonna lie this [ __ ] goody make me feel like stalking me why did he do that he already knew what i was supposed to say i'll [ __ ] with all that [ __ ] music man but look one plus i'm cutting up nah there's some fireplace i'm not because exactly one puss i'm cutting up one no one puts all i know one singular that's not one puss i'm cutting the problems don't be worth the [ __ ] they'll manipulate them have y'all ever had some good [ __ ] that didn't come with no problems please [Music] i'm good a lot of [ __ ] be good but they're gonna be fun exactly what cardi said she said um you got to argue with them that's false no you don't that's why men live that's why the black man life expectancy is it's cause we have to deal with so much [ __ ] that don't even matter so what are we supposed to do put us on the show i can't do that so what's next yes you can i can't i've seen you do more greater [ __ ] you can it's in you i'd be like this this is the thing you gotta keep in mind though it's like think of how many times the [ __ ] you was [ __ ] with didn't say [ __ ] just listen huh you gonna point out all the [ __ ] flaws no that's what a lot of women do and make [ __ ] get cold that's like you never know the moment where [ __ ] be like okay [ __ ] it that's what my [ __ ] i'm turning because i make them feel like we are one man your flaws that ain't wider [ __ ] won't feel like two that's not what [ __ ] knowing one field like one for some [ __ ] one is you by yourself you want to be one the average [ __ ] stand with that [ __ ] hey that's why i don't understand when y'all be having all these [ __ ] all you have to do is you don't understand who we have in all these all of these women the average [ __ ] is getting pretty much the same treatment as in whoever they i'm just saying you're not the average [ __ ] i'm not i'm not come on baby come on bdb energy the average [ __ ] but i hear my [ __ ] making the same complaints over and over again a lot of [ __ ] is getting just enough love and nourishment just enough to stay alive i can't relate there's a lot of [ __ ] out there doing everything they can to make their little red glass relationship give me the [ __ ] [ __ ] and i give him life you have to give you'll have to speak life into a [ __ ] sometimes [ __ ] bring life and wellness you so the [ __ ] once he get the puzzles here it's like the moment yeah but it's like the movie speed if he don't get no more [ __ ] he died so like he got a race home basically what's she doing quite a few [ __ ] what's she doing is turning [ __ ] into addicts that's what you should be saying they wouldn't get in the [ __ ] no more they died that's [ __ ] up they perished like that rp i'm not trying to be funny but he's dead because because i didn't act like you'll [ __ ] around and fall in love with the wizard man [ __ ] as soon as you nut dark clouds just form around the whole house and [ __ ] thunder and lightning starts to switch just to say lord what you say if you ever leave me why are you talking like that give me the regular [ __ ] take i take the sleeping the sleepy hand he took that sleeping pill it was just poverty no no not the sleeping pill the can didn't make you sleepy i was still to my business i don't know what we're talking about i thought she was okay [ __ ] it welcome back to another episode we are in here she came from the jackie ellis because put your titty tape up to the table this this show's broken because i got my girl she my best friend she keep it real i love my [ __ ] [ __ ] pay my bills that's all you got that's it a word what's your pay bill yeah what what's pay what do you think the best line of that song is she said your mama don't like me she say i'm not good but what she don't know is i got you [ __ ] whoops i don't give a [ __ ] if your mama like me [ __ ] her [ __ ] her real [ __ ] talk english spanish and friends [ __ ] your mama hurry up [ __ ] that i can tell a [ __ ] [ __ ] your mama he's still gonna [ __ ] and he's still gonna come [ __ ] me because he's talking english what they do spanish and friends we all got into dollas and yen um have your [ __ ] ever not worked on a [ __ ] like you thought it would tell the truth no i mean sometimes you'll be like damn this [ __ ] so you ain't no so you ain't telling me you weren't telling me that you ain't never gave her [ __ ] a [ __ ] just like yeah this [ __ ] means all right i'm not gonna lie and i would like for a [ __ ] to write because i know a lot of people are gonna see this episode if a man have got some [ __ ] for me and you felt like it was me write in and tell us your story hold on you let me be back because i know you lying let me ask you this honestly honestly ladies and gentlemen have you ever have you ever gave up my birthday have you ever gave a [ __ ] some pizza and you knew it wasn't your best [ __ ] nah my [ __ ] always the best oh i know i could feel it i'd be like damn i ain't put that on that [ __ ] sex is not always great all the time let's be real okay let me ask you but i feel like if my [ __ ] wasn't like great to a [ __ ] it was because you didn't do what you needed to do of the [ __ ] that came to the store quality control have you ever been doing some [ __ ] that you thought was sexy and a [ __ ] was like what did you do right that's what i'm saying so i feel like if a [ __ ] ever if another which [Laughter] [Music] he'd like it at first and then he'd be like hey chill bro chill bro bro you gotta be careful you have to be careful for penises man because that [ __ ] just won this [ __ ] really crying sometimes we'll be doing some good fish what did you do why are you what do you mean [Music] the only time that i cried in the [ __ ] is when i [ __ ] it at maxwell song that one right there oh man [Music] [Music] fortunate too by the time they get to that part making me a daddy the club is shot up oh don't shoot my club oh what i look like at this stage of my life she gets some kids and [ __ ] oh i know that's why you better take care of your queens penis fracture that's what you over there looking at wait to put that in penis pressure it almost happened to me man you know you didn't [ __ ] up right yeah i feel that [ __ ] because now that [ __ ] in your search history i said stop going left so much get on screen this is a real thing there's bags up even though it's written in the note card no game pain loss of erection swelling discoloration some of y'all [ __ ] need swelling though so you breaking dicks now what is wrong with y'all i mean somebody doesn't need to be swole we're just saying they can be broken treat it [ __ ] y'all [ __ ] getting nut off of anything i see the [ __ ] [ __ ] i just seen a [ __ ] [ __ ] a snowman i saw a lady [ __ ] a doorknob shut up this is not a competition she pulled up herself i seen a man what was it called snowman frosty he was putting it on frosty he white he was black i promise i'm not lying yeah you watched it nothing to stop him cause i'm afraid i'm a [ __ ] snowman for you are you a freak would you even would you get frosty something that's your [ __ ] snowman would you [ __ ] frosty i would [ __ ] a snowman but not frosty period i feel you on that we feel my different type of snow though whatever i don't know what's going on [ __ ] who makes you happy look who makes you happy you gotta [ __ ] who make you happy [ __ ] who make you happy sometimes that [ __ ] don't be fun who maybe you haven't yeah but sometimes if you think about in the long run the person you [ __ ] as long as you have to [ __ ] who you need the [ __ ] to maintain that happening call him peppy whatever some people want to be called by the real first name so let's call them that mm-hmm i don't know their relationship with their parents don't be giving people you know titles and [ __ ] without their approval what if you was with a [ __ ] what if he was with a [ __ ] and you was like yes daddy he was like look wait stop i don't know that guy can you stop calling me that just call me my name okay damn no my man no my name okay wow i had a [ __ ] up childhood i'm sorry i mean just call me my name all right cool thanks carlos see it's weird i don't know [ __ ] who make you happy you know who makes me happy [ __ ] who make you happy to all the women [ __ ] who make you happy that don't steal [ __ ] you like you have me i love a woman who'll give you your [ __ ] back yeah [ __ ] who make you happy do you understand that all of our exes are somewhere laid up with a [ __ ] with some [ __ ] that we left over there a blanket a pillow mm-hmm some shorts my wife beat her how y'all think y'all on netflix come on man that's my hulu who you who you think mattered the flat screen my name is you think she did that um [ __ ] who make you happy it's [ __ ] up babe but who makes you ain't [ __ ] up to know some [ __ ] that benefited from the [ __ ] that you did that you ain't know nothing about that time you gave her 60 dollars she bought a [ __ ] a pizza with that money um [ __ ] eight pizza out the six that mean the [ __ ] factored in the pizza into the price the whole point of asking you for the money was to get the pizza you didn't you didn't fed [ __ ] the piece of [ __ ] she she used your money and her [ __ ] to feed another [ __ ] you know your girl ain't got no car and she's still cheating on you um that means she called a rat look who made you happy she went to the bus and she got on public transportation to go get some dick that [ __ ] was on a mission oh [ __ ] who make you happy she got ambition [ __ ] who make you happy new edition she's still missing that [ __ ] trippy that's [ __ ] up man [Music] it's peter griffin one thing about [ __ ] women always got all this help when they out here cheating they got all this [ __ ] help they got a whole team of help [ __ ] out here [ __ ] up man they got themselves who yeah come on ladies [ __ ] make you happy they may be a little nappy i'm a [ __ ] who made me happy yeah that's the key to life [ __ ] who make you happy hey think of them like if you put everybody you [ __ ] with in the room right everybody [ __ ] got everybody you ever [ __ ] up the room big enough to fit everybody you [ __ ] right now you put them all in room all in there and you got you two you got to pick the best one i don't know all these things you got to pick the best one okay the best out of all the out of everybody i ever [ __ ] the best one i'm not saying that you thought i'm saying that you [ __ ] with if you do a party you put everybody invited everyone you knew nigga's gonna be fighting you would see the best gift would be for me it's gonna be a family rant look marvel says what they still gonna be a little bit [ __ ] up so will you be getting rid of the best [ __ ] you got for being [ __ ] up a little bit i mean the message that you had just being [ __ ] up a little bit a little bit farther we through a party whatever it makes sense when you see some of these relationships and you'll be like why are you with this crazy [ __ ] like man [ __ ] make the good ass breath [Music] the breakfast the best [ __ ] you bring to the table [ __ ] and the best thing about them was some obscure ass [ __ ] like man i'm out of here if that's the only thing you got [ __ ] i don't give a [ __ ] you know how to make lamb chops [ __ ] that if you only got one good thing i [ __ ] with that one thing and that's what i remember you for but i'm not freaking out hang out i'm not sticking around what makes you stick around then everything no what makes you leave what's everything else no [ __ ] that [ __ ] will make you stick around what makes you leave man what the [ __ ] all type of [ __ ] to make you leave i leave so much [ __ ] quick i like the [ __ ] i left the [ __ ] once i leave some [ __ ] quick though i'm talking about i leave with or without the [ __ ] it really don't matter to me it really don't matter to me i i'm coming in and hey however you know if some [ __ ] look out [Music] you're being covered in stuffed animals i said i'm leaving you for real hell yeah you left a [ __ ] because you ain't like his hairline number oh man what was the headline saying to you it was smiled at me if you don't have a hammer he had that smiley face the [ __ ] was what make you leave dre that [ __ ] was smiling at me in his head i said i got to go you too excited my [ __ ] you make me leave yeah i'm going to make you leave he'll leave for anything i'll leave for anything for anything so i'll be ready to leave a [ __ ] bye you know where i left one time why because she had one of them dollar tree bags on the back of the door for her trash bag she didn't have a trash can hey even if i got a trash can hey you [ __ ] gotta have a trash lady another reason you ever laid down on the [ __ ] bed and that [ __ ] was loud like squeaky like yeah yeah i would leave a [ __ ] for that like it's all squeaky yeah like if your bed if i don't if your bedding or every corner it could be squeaky is this [ __ ] or if your bed ain't grown folks ass yeah y'all don't get in a twin bag you're trying to beat this up in a twin girl you can't even fit in a twin bed why are you going to sleep wait a minute where you going to sleep i got to go we got to go to sleep what are you laying at you about to put me in a twin bed because i don't i don't you know i'm i'm spoiled at this point and i'm petting too like what if i'm mad at you if i can't roll over two times and be all the way away from i'm trying we got to get you big uh alaskan king bear this is the california king [Applause] do you hear me this is the top-of-the-line mattress all right custom built brother hey you put me in he's like yeah this is the last i ain't never been to alaska yeah i ain't never been to a last that [ __ ] too far you see how them dogs pulled a sleigh hey what do you think it is far where you think though it's up north i ain't even going to answer this [ __ ] y'all ain't about to shake me what you about to say dog listen i was not going to play nothing no because i used to think that [ __ ] was like because how they put it over there you can see it from russia that [ __ ] you can drive that's what she said she said you see ref rush from up there that [ __ ] i don't know i never been there you would be looking for russia trying to look for russian dude i think that's some [ __ ] with a mustang okay chill on me you need to drive out videos what does russian sound like ryan and skivonski [Music] that's the people that invented the music yeah i speak a little russian okay you know how you say [ __ ] in russia what's my favorite word why you gotta say oh i like it uh and they had like the russian dudes and they were saying like the prostitute and everyone big fire the pisco the pisca i'm gonna be like suka daddy yeah oh but he would call you that that's what i say but no but they probably do that [ __ ] wait daddy mean [ __ ] daddy [ __ ] daddy i like that i might say that daddy that's in english [ __ ] daddy come get this poor [ __ ] danny that sounds like one of them characters are [ __ ] valleys oh y'all [ __ ] daddy why you jose nick again look man man things have changed since [ __ ] daddy's taking over the club man [ __ ] daddy duran little boy blew out of business russia's that's russia's first black elected official russia's first black elected official she was boy it was they have black women yeah they got black russians so are you going well they don't talk about it because you know the russians they kill they try to kill all the black people [Laughter] the [ __ ] come out crack my idea my god my goodness [Laughter] my god [Laughter] [Music] [ __ ] about michael jackson i've been watching all the old michael jackson footage oh i'm a huge like i don't play about mike dirty that's late favorite song i love it that's what his best song is michael's top five if i ask you what's michael jackson's top five songs and you don't put dirty diana in there then i know you're not a real michael fan did you did you relate to diana because she jumped on the phone yeah cause i'll never make you stay so you said michael jackson used to prank call his dad what would he say that's what that's the [ __ ] up part that's what you don't understand he was deaf michael jackson a little bit a lot of voices [Music] because it's running michael jackson had a thousand voices oh he used to probably call him like hello let me speak to luke it's gary put lou on the phone who is this [ __ ] ole miss money let me talk to him i don't give a [ __ ] that he's the hulk man who the [ __ ] is this this is maggie it's michael love michael's voice put lou on the phone you know i said mike didn't cut so he probably listen doo doo face oh you think you one tough son of a girl huh [Music] now listen if i come over there i'm gonna put my hands on you bro you want to see me or no i'm just playing hello it's me is it me you're looking for yeah you hmm so tough without your little green makeup stop being mad little you know who you can't mess with michael jackson that's a real tough guy man who keep calling playing on my phone oh you know what he said he said [Laughter] [Music] i bet he was calling with some crazy ass voices clay hello lou [Laughter] can i speak the old luther i bet he called so many times and they didn't think it was him look man we just got the number changed stop playing on the goddamn phone oh so you're used customers who you got on the game sunday denver indianapolis [Laughter] ah bro brian back there man who knew michael jackson was playing on the phone he probably was calling late sneaker was prank he was up four in the morning go to bed [ __ ] you doing up man we be up at four in the morning call me oh [ __ ] messy we gotta go michael we gotta get the [ __ ] out of here man thank you it is time you got to put my mama i got a piss i'm tired look man i'm happy i forget all about it y'all know i'm old go ahead and [Music] nevermind [Applause] we got [ __ ] to do here we had to talk some [ __ ] with y'all and make sure y'all was straight real quick we'd love to kick it just make sure y'all was straight after valentine's day since y'all didn't get [ __ ] i guess y'all straight well you know you could send me something i got my 85 merch coming look you want some clouds you have this one tree of life there you go look at that one right there that's yours i'm like i get it in a minute i think lex can get it herself i'll pick it up thank you appreciate this she did move all her [ __ ] yeah this is nice you know better than the nothing you got i'm just saying huh i mean okay no what else she wants to give me no a water capri sun which one you want i like the capri sun i don't think the water here you go thank you king the service is immaculate here yeah man i'm just trying to make your your valentine's day you guys should come back tell your friends maybe you want to do your birthday party what you eating though you order some wings you should have said something i would have told you order me something i like this music i guess it is time to go kiki that sat back there at 8 30 lemon pepper wouldn't buy a goddamn himself clayton english tell him where to find you at man oh man clayton [ __ ] on everything man then find me on some more tv [ __ ] coming soon asking me to do [ __ ] don't keep period we only ask once again english instagram all that [ __ ] [ __ ] with me come on focus my life i don't fight i don't argue i just hit that [ __ ] with a bottle wow you can find me on instagram underscore pete underscore you can find me on twitter at lex p underscore underscore or you can find me with your baby daddy wow wow you're supposed to take it back i thought i thought she knew where she was going i thought she was good i was like where can they find you at [Music] you can find me on instagram at dream mccall with three e's you can find me on twitter at dragon cole underscore you can also find me hey yo [ __ ] rosemaries wow and make sure y'all you can watch poor minds every friday we drop new episodes every friday we are officially 85 south fails where you listen to any um podcast uh youtube every friday that's p-o-u-r p-o-u-r-m-i-n-d-s you can follow us on instagram at p-o-u-r underscore m-i-n-d-o it's des moines it's all about them all about des moines and dry beanies comments being mean cuz y'all some mean [ __ ] we love y'all keep doing your [ __ ] thing we out big [ __ ] [Applause] give a [ __ ] some chips i need this footage now put it

Channel: The 85 South Comedy Show

Views: 1,316,351

Keywords: nigerian, comedy, dcyoungfly, karlousmiller, mtv2, wildnout, podcast, chicobean, kevinhart, dc young fly podcast, 85 south show new, 85 south show time, karlous miller podcast, chico bean podcast, 85 south podcast, funny comedy show, black

Id: R0Pmin_Fz9o

Length: 116min 57sec (7017 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 23 2021