😂😂😂KEVON STAGE TONY BAKER TAHIR MOORE IN THE TRAP! with Karlous Miller #pocketsausage

one no point in my soda bro it's delicious too 23 flavors they work well they ain't really know 23 man 23 flavors of sugar when's the last time you had a soda's home is i'm plugged in i can get you one it just can't be one of mine people be trying to get your cars all the time yes they don't understand i have an obsession bro you know by the time it's done you'd already put the work into it let's get it just like that's part of the fun of it though that's what i'm saying yesterday you bought a car yesterday what'd you buy a convertible 1968 camaro ss let me queue this up camaro 19 what 60 what 68 oh you don't have to google it you don't have to make up i'll show you show me show me the new way and that's another good thing you buy them from like [Music] he always got the nice cars oh that's already cleaned yeah right up to here that's right up in the alley [Music] this is when they had like that mustang body in the mustang at the same time kind of you got the back of it yeah i got some more that's just my favorite one favorite picture what color is the interior white yeah it won't be for long though no holes in the top no holes any gas hole no no no nothing all right yeah well taking care of type [ __ ] we're not [Music] this is the south you know where smog is it's a small hog type of [ __ ] we own seeing you found the fat booty tvs man oh this big booty tv's an alley out everybody famous in atlanta brother bartender got a million followers that's true and if you don't really see that many people like that though and they're like i feel like you got to go out oh yeah if you go to where you'll see it or you go to like clubs like that but you don't see like you see a chick with a big booty in l.a mother likely she's like oh she bought it yeah depending on what part of the time you see you're a meteorite yeah i've seen a few fat booties in there like there's a couple of them the couple more asses in their legs yeah i like it though you know not like out here man i don't know i don't know i couldn't be out here yeah on these women down here it's just ridiculous listen somebody's trying to come to atlanta like if you're a little black man you the first time you're gonna get whiplash you know the whole time you're like got the goddamn when i first moved down in atlanta man i was i couldn't believe it i thought i was from saint louis there's women with big booties right here yeah yeah man [ __ ] i was like i can't move that hey it's before when i moved down here the first time in 2009 now it was like 2007 it was nothing but the club the shake joint and the mall to go to they didn't have a whole lot of [ __ ] this is when you had your room and the goddamn uh at the bottom of that italian restaurant oh yeah yeah yeah i was like this [ __ ] looks sketchy but the food smell like it's slapping in this [ __ ] damn what was the name of that spray i don't know but it was like in a in a residential neighborhood god damn what what's the name of this button i just had so many spots around that bit 30 minutes after it started somebody else started hosting you can't even took over for this hosting yeah sometimes you got to do that you gotta have an opener open up i feel like you hear if i do that that's what she said oh this is gonna be a great episode have a good time i can feel it we're in the trash auto music playing and you had some of my my favorite rappers on the show too who who's showing me your favorite rapper yeah fiend on the show get currency on the show yes sir currency did uh my game show working this hard show i was like yeah [ __ ] and then i saw him on your show he was in person because he had to do mines like via zoom because he was like think of a coleman that he was really young oh y'all he drove his [ __ ] rose rush truck all the way up here as soon as he got out was like let me see the impala i was like [ __ ] let me see this yes this is the start of the show now i gotta get i got i told him when i interviewed him at uh rolling loud i was like i don't know how to get it to you but i'm gonna buy you a car i'll say all the music you can gave away for free buy him a car you're gonna buy him a car i'm obama old school to here love giving gifts i need your big gifts serious but his family with old schools you can buy like like i've seen his fleet i don't think he has a malibu and he has a money call already but he doesn't have a nova if i find like a 70 something malibu or 70 something nova all i gotta do is just ship it to him because when you're a real car enthusiast the the joy is actually the journey of the bill so you send him to work he do the work yeah i just sit here in the basement i just sent him a body i don't know man that's like sending a bill like here go electricity you just pay for it it's different when it's a car man it's different because i don't know what he wants in that car like every car is different everybody has to fill it out to get like what the interior should be on this what the wheels should be on he might be fine so when you see yours do you you see the vision of what it's going to be it'll be like i'm going to turn it to vin diesel go get the dominic toretto put the white white beater on it's not about how you paint your coat the family is how you're driving with the windows i lived my life a quarter mile at a time he really said that yeah he was dead serious he was there i lived my life a quarter they may football player yeah yeah i feel like he's in my life you see i say he comes with a toolbox his hands are already dirty quarter mile at a time they should have kept it the way they had it what it was like there's always so much money and bills they had to here was my favorite one oh yeah what was that one that was when the rock first came oh yeah that was that was the best one and the rock got beat like they kept interrupting the movie trying to arrest everybody he was muslim whatever he's like man parties on him she was just getting good i'll take your candy ass did you he had a lot of sayings in that one oh he did man he was they should have kept the same formula like faster than the furious one was dope because they were like they built the car and [ __ ] and they had a little story yeah and then faster than the furious two should have been that asian dude they should have found out more about that asian dude the asian dude that's what that's what two should have been yeah which one was the one where they did tokyo drift that's the third one that's yeah he wasn't even there for two that's real dude it was paul walker and tyreese for the second one yeah was that what he said forget about a cub that was pretty dope because they yeah that was good i said forget about the crowd in line and one is ja rule [Applause] hated monica that was the one part that [ __ ] me up cause he lost yeah and he tried to come back and get at the spanish chicken she was like [ __ ] you didn't win and nobody said nothing nobody's talking bro they say [ __ ] so hard at la like mexican community i didn't know i'm from the midwest so it's saying lose the only people saying [ __ ] black people so anybody else saying you checking them immediately when i was out there in l.a and this was like what's up my [ __ ] he was mexican but he had like four homies with him i had like two with me i was like what are we going to do we let this ride in washington it was samoans and it was like they had you know the rock and stuff i was like hey man you know what cultural property you know hey man why i saw a video of samoan dude he grabbed the [ __ ] by the top of his head and like threw i was like i never true story my house in washington there was it was two o'clock in the morning there was some somebody we heard like fighting sounds my wife and i go check that out and i'm like that's the worst part about him but that would make you feel like such a [ __ ] if your lady was that type of lady hey lay down i got this oh that's a nice thought i'd be like damn right absolutely i don't know you been posted [Applause] [Laughter] yeah but he yeah i got to the window and it was some mowing bloods jumping somebody in and the sound they were throwing them on my car she was like what is i was like man someone's jumping this blood in she was like go stop them i was like girl i said simone jumping somebody bro hold your car oh my it was a 96 but you said two very terrifying things and they scared and neither one of them scared me like it was just samoan blood these ain't doctors these are the fighting some moments yeah he's been looking forward to this moment you're waiting to get jumped in imagine somebody get prepared for jumping like i'm gonna take that first motorcycle yeah interrupt this community community he's been the community man come out i'm a [Applause] i still got to go to work because it was like tuesday still had to go to work busting up what happened last night but they were doing this wrong they had no business jumping that man that loud at 2 a.m 2 a.m they could have did that [ __ ] earlier they could have did it on the lawn anywhere bro he was dense was awesome well these neighbors are just they're just well they just walk through that neighborhood it's like here yeah that's what i don't want to say what y'all watch y'all pick right here they like manicure yards when they do it like the yard was nice yeah like this is the spot yeah that was a tough thing that would have been that would have been part of it for sure yeah oh man they know how to beat the homeowner up oh my god that [ __ ] would have [ __ ] the whole gangster moment up [Laughter] putting and it's dark you can find like an upstairs window or one of them little sneak spots they wouldn't find you know how your house is set up yeah you got this spot where you could talk [ __ ] to people outside yeah [Laughter] shut [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] watch them go in the wrong house beat their mother never like that lady that'd save a lot of lives though that would if [ __ ] actually could be in games on paper where are you from cuz hold up right here all right okay [Music] hello they ain't even [Laughter] uh that's when they run out of lines i got it from the you know they're grabbing hope from you know what i'm saying they gave it to me they came they flew in for the night why is that always the first movement the shirt what if you break the run and you fall right dude this right here the ladies get caught up you're already faced they gotta grab you up get you hey come on come [Music] [Applause] y'all just sitting back chilling and out of nowhere neighbor like bro you've been tested bro yeah that's a hard-hitting question hepatitis b you got hepatitis c i ain't talking about this one man y'all going to start remember yeah we got to pull the bat on you yo what's going on y'all man your boy dc young fly you d this is me i'm mean pizza right now yeah man you've seen us talking about going back on the road on social media but it's finally here but it's time it's finally here yeah told y'all we better go back on the road tell them what we're going to do charleston maybe more but that's all we're telling y'all for right now what's the date what's the day man i think the last of july 24th you hear me seattle on october the sacramento on october the second okay [ __ ] you know what it's a thing we got from the dick i'm just gonna have to be back so we're going to be luxurious seattle wells charleston okay we may do that on friday we may do that on a friday the microphone came off we just gonna do it like this that's why we got to get back on the road bro the microphone won't stick we can't even we can't eat my teeth while we steal the trap and we get my tape but you always tearing up the microphone you think domino's to sponsor this they should let's call but we fought with a piece did what i'm saying what i grew up [Laughter] shout out to dominoed that you know what i'm saying giving black boys you know what i'm saying the job somewhere you can prosper real talk you know where to find all them dates while we eating domino at the on the website plus new shows go to 85 stop shoot at that girl yeah i feel like if you go to the instagram or click the link or something it'll probably take you where the tickets are i think so too people always like how we find a ticket we just told you all right just google 85 self show tickets jalisa ain't nobody out there selling no fake aft somebody was at one point i seen them they had they had my eye [ __ ] up on the fly i'm like you really bought that [ __ ] like [ __ ] bought flow seats too i'm like [ __ ] whoever this here he probably gonna show up but it ain't me i did it you saw the dude selling the fake shirts the real life tour shirt [ __ ] really out there selling shirt [ __ ] you know you're having a shirt while they flagging you down we selling them i rolled down the window and when that money going too because i'm on it you like me man it's not [ __ ] they tried to convince me that it wasn't me on the ship no thank you man he he he he he look like you still about it i didn't buy the [ __ ] i hit the [ __ ] i paid a deal for it i talked down he wanted faulty hey man i said [ __ ] i'm finna get you a duck for this fake ass shirt get the [ __ ] out my face man at least want to have a shirt to put up in my house you know that i ain't get no money for it i might let it go back home you got a shirt we got a shirt talking about control man man you know what's going on man the two are going crazy man should i say it again yeah we're going to be in biloxi sacramento charleston seattle and a little bit more if you want to know go to the 8th south show.com negro okay back hey man we back we're coming all them cities he just named ud and some most cities come on and and we came to see the 85 percenters we don't have cities in the building listen i'm talking about good time put them pull them back we're gonna mention the prank pull the tennis out what they gonna say they're gonna be like we've been missing them titties now one thing we can ensure we can create a safe environment whether you pull them to this yes we can yes and we have proven that right you hear me we have uh grandma's smoking weed that's on oxygen tanks and they highlight baby [ __ ] can't say i i talked to that lady family she's doing work uh well right now she's doing good salute man so look [Applause] yeah man so come check us out peace i ain't gonna lie and be honest to be honest y'all [ __ ] are you crying oh that was a great one that was a great walk out i gotta do it again and to be honest man to be honest [ __ ] we miss y'all one more one more bro okay nick adams [Applause] [Music] [Applause] foreign i wonder if gang membership declined with colby probably so i'm kidding they've been wearing masks the whole time right yeah that is true that is true it was like we've been on [ __ ] yeah they just pulled out the sanitizer before the soccer ball yeah you understand i really want to see like what the inside of a game looks like like it's no you're doing that it's very low budget there is nothing like you think they don't have a sergeant or arms to keep orders [Music] [Music] who was too injured to go back to the streets like the [ __ ] who keeps the piece at the meeting roll up hey hey hey hey y'all chill y'all man let's keep the cool man always go to the gun his arm is cut up from all the ropes he's like man y'all got the jab oh gee don't tell me baby don't tell me y'all don't know nothing about [Music] [Laughter] you think you got it all figured out huh i think you know the game let me tell you something [Laughter] that's been out here he slammed the folder hard and put the the meeting notes up since y'all knew every [ __ ] day he can't get the dog don't open the door [Applause] it's a very black show this was voted the number one black show for black people between the ages of 13 and 77. oh wow yeah everybody that's everybody old people tuning in man and i didn't make that up that's based off internet research that's dope that's yours it's like the tonight show for black people our youngest fan four days old fresh out i relate to when they talked about that placenta clapping with their baby's head up he's watching the show like this the whole time still heavy hold my hand hold my head up y'all got jokes but i got video proof yeah the baby was like anytime you make a baby laugh i was like i was pretty sure that's a [ __ ] i think that's what i'm developing okay got it got it right here yeah i made that time before was that a cry for help he was like that's a developing laugh [Music] your mom used to put the stomach up to the laptop yeah and the baby was like this [ __ ] lies as good as i do [Applause] you don't know [ __ ] about it [ __ ] where's the ramp look man if you can't look around and see who we got in the trap with us today man we got none other than to hear more [Applause] but there was a whole [ __ ] argument [ __ ] was arguing about kev and they was like the [ __ ] named k vaughn i was like no [ __ ] keep on i'm like [ __ ] it's kev arnold do you know there's people out there who thinks your name is kevonstein my last name is stage how many other stages you met in your life hey my name is uncle father this [ __ ] on twitter and he already like boy you you follow tony the baker hey put them goddamn man my mom when i first moved to hollywood she told me she was like won't you just call them and tell them that you want to be [Laughter] and tell them you want to be i wish it was that easy man i seen this movie y'all working on let me get in on that i remember when i first moved out there i did call uh the wayne brothers i called there like they had office you call the other brother yeah that i googled and uh i was like hey uh here i was wondering if you guys had any internships or anything like that it was like [ __ ] for what i was like well no we flew in for the night what's your last [Music] [Music] he's a close handshaker too mm-hmm it was weird like what's up y'all w30. hey what y'all doing in atlanta man we uh we shoot a food show for for the kevin stage studios app it's like diners drivers and dives but instead of chefs comedians you know you're on the road you're looking for something to eat you like man we in atlanta what's good to eat around here oh man you got to go to you know barney's or the life kitchen or whatever bro you know what you should have did on that episode you should've just kept going to waffle house we went you should just keep going every [Music] man come on i ain't hungry right now come on man give me the money i gotta get what i want you know let me take you to get that order no man just give it here let's make it some food like no you just had this sandwich i want no goddamn sandwich every time you actually give them the food man never mind i don't want that [ __ ] better than that man look at that uncle girl i swear this is a true story we went to the braves game this [ __ ] had made two egg sandwiches and took and snuck him in the game but he didn't eat him and the homeless dude was outside the stadium like man give me something to eat and he gave him the [ __ ] egg i challenge good i was like the homeless dude hurt me like man that man they want some goddamn salmon and the [ __ ] turned around actually i do [ __ ] that sounds like we we was talking about homeless people in the bravest [Laughter] we so my mom cooked and we're going to church i'm dressed in church stuff the church van come early and i got a piece of sausage at each hand like come on now the church van here i'm like why i ain't finished me get in the van so i got slacks on i come to get in the van i'm like six seven eight and i can't get in without grabbing the thing looking at the man church dude deacon in the front seat get up it's [Laughter] to rush this experience i could have just so much more happened before you got to the bus like you went upstairs and got your coat he opened the door like it was no problem up until getting in the van because i needed to help up man everything else you can get the elbow in you know i'm saying you can close the powder with your leg but i need to get up on the left man was it the back pocket no the press church it was like this it was just like a long fat grease thing on both sides i really i wasn't really thinking forward no whole sermon smelling like something yeah yeah how have i never heard that story oh man you could have went longer without it to hear it just break it up yeah carlos man what's your favorite color like sausage he saved it [Laughter] anyway the sausage is the point that was just his way of letting us know he's a notorious gangster by the name of sausage pockets it's not necessary who you work for you've heard the sausage party [ __ ] it oh you don't know how you got that where did y'all go y'all should have went to old lady game right this candice restaurant oh lady candy from escape oh yeah yeah man the macaroni yeah it's called old lady gang [ __ ] fight candy got a lot of different business candy is amazing we got that bedroom candy at the i did that i know you doing he got candy in the bed too not hurt you know what's in it peanut butter in the middle of the night [ __ ] dropping people you got to buy some of that that bedroom here you get the little cold [ __ ] that you put on the nipple then you blow it and you get warm the warmer sensation oil yeah they also have the you know the flavored lube comes in the bottom a couple different sizes man okay he said he got it [Music] [Music] yeah like i was saying that [ __ ] old lady game macaroni and cheese yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] y'all ain't married they got these uh sweet potatoes man the sweet tea is good but the lemonade is everything homemade [Music] collapse or something wrong man she won't oh she was already as a black child having two sausages will get you in trouble especially if you got sydney that's all i'm hearing in my mind you just agreed to trying to eat up every goddamn that's what it was that's why she didn't happen with the door because he ran out with the goddamn saucer because he didn't want to give one so his bag was no it was because he was being greedy wasn't it but i just can't see a black family standing in the kitchen with the door open and waiting on the church bus and these sausages are right here that's what his mama was like because mom was like i know i could more sauce okay wait where was she if the church bus wouldn't have pulled up what were you planning to do with these two songs chewing and drinking chewing and drinking i didn't think this episode was gonna go this way i thought and that's not the sausage links these are the big that's the kill you know what you're saying cut in half and stuff on it on both sides it really was kind of like four sausages there because yeah you can always hang out down the middle down the middle that was hard to get in your pocket that's cause i saw but it was like case sauce that one went right in a bad church painting like this that means you should go in and hit the pocket and then open back up so now it's like split right there it was that that ain't for it you don't separate the thing it's still still two no that's four pieces nah man it's just opened up and the black household that's four camera trying to jazz it up he was like nice butterfly sauce and where was your mom at when you came out to the van i feel like she wasn't here so i was trying to get in the van before she came out okay and that's why she wasn't going to sleep no i'm that's why to get one out quick when did you eat the sausage right there i want to see the digger's face but you opened up the door he saw your stuff he watched the whole interaction he could have reached open that's what i'm saying he wanted to see what you thought [Music] [Music] i didn't even know church fans was a thing for families really yeah yeah i didn't know that you were about the average they should be in church like look if you don't if you ain't got a car then i'll come pick you up so we ain't no car at the time you know we're just waiting for this jesus picture i ain't gonna let you miss this man jesus would open the door for you it would have it was a black dick and he was like man get in i'm gonna be late did you have to explain the stains to it [Laughter] yeah yeah yeah you really should think about joining the choir man there's a lot of men in the choir like boom spelling point oh that's crazy right no no no package in there just raw crackers just raw rice crackers are good though right they are not i'm not gonna eat it with lit we can't we can't even talk about this because youtube will flag the video because you said ritz crackers they're gonna think you said rich crackers you two would hit that yellow on your video on facebook one day and i said i like my crackers with cheese suspended for a week real really you obviously talking about the food you would think so i mean as a black man yeah but he really man he's like his white man with cheese with paper yeah i never looked yeah tony is a villain of old anger and just frustration he has every right to be angry bro but by what his his [ __ ] car just died his car the the old school [Music] i [ __ ] he totally catches me every time tommy lee jones in the fugitive man i'm gonna catch you before [Music] on this trip and you want us to feel sorry for you they keep picking on me yeah man your [ __ ] you deserve all that everything that he got coming to him he deserves it yeah till you do right barbie yeah you can get all the tags [Music] [Music] he was putting we had like shoots in in may of last year he put a he put a luggage tag in my windshield i mean the visor of the car my wife driving in the car she pulled the vice down hit her in the head he attacked her yeah nobody even did nothing to him we was just on tour nobody was doing no pranks he just started doing that you know nobody gotta walk this thing it just happens he wants this he chose this life i'm a villain i like chaos a little bit it gets too stagnant so you got to switch it up and like i would put it kev always takes his shoes off wherever if we stay long enough one of those shoes coming off right this man keeps sausage in his right man ain't no limit to the type of [ __ ] he'll do did he take that shoe off i slide one in that shoe too but if you think about it then you you just really becoming that that black father you're doing [ __ ] like that you [ __ ] leave me in here i'm going to sleep you just at that age that's true man you guys went to sleep in the car we was waiting for for tony and josh to grab some smoothies smooth out man listen nobody ever speaks on that like we're black men but we're getting old you get you get certain privileges we're getting older like if after you i feel like once you get to be like 39 you just fought whatever [ __ ] you you shouldn't have to explain it hey man that's nasty well i i just had a [ __ ] biopsy i'm on some new medication to keep me from going [ __ ] crazy we didn't know your eyes water we never do oh yeah i'm sorry i'm drinking noni trying this new vegan [ __ ] man oh geez oh that was my great grandma man oh everything was i'll just die oh y'all you want me okay i'll just be dead i'm gonna have it loud so i can't sleep i'll just be dead be asleep the whole time to about three four in the morning and then the infra motion infomercial is the loudest [ __ ] strong do you want to cook a turkey [Laughter] in the morning they come in your dream and bust that up with the vacuum 3000. come on man you was getting topped off in the dream it picks up all the dirt residue how would you like to cook a whole turkey on your counter top i always wake up on the medical ones and it scares me it's making me think i have you you get shortness of breath and wake up in the middle of life you canceling no come on man then they show your finger look just like your finger saying watch is that my favorite food in the background like that's all there is she's like whoa that's my finger they got a reflection on you looking into the computer screen like this is me now stage fool they gotta give dating [ __ ] stage hey how weapond the moisture that keeps the nails together so that's coming off the kidney might be weak yeah the skin is flaking though that's cancer they show you every hospital picture everybody's hands just like my face y'all got me scared man because i don't even know a [ __ ] that drink eight glasses of water a day tony you had that dream where you thought she was in the bathroom oh nobody got saucer but people repeat man you be talking in your dream [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] let wow [Music] what if she was just bringing it up casually around the factory you know and then you know you peed on me right hold on francis my panties weren't even wet it was my leg you can't pee i could have had it on my level though and the bottom of my shirt it was just my bottom leg watching the game show me [Applause] [Applause] blue light come oh no i ain't got you come to the bathroom [Music] [Applause] 45-33 delete that part oh so that's what we're doing we're telling secrets we're telling secrets oh man oh smile y'all like never be no nobody though that's what you're telling me no burgers ain't nobody in the room you know nobody like nobody cleaning in the sleep sabrina but that was inadvertent but that would be a strange way to find that your girl like to be peed on mm-hmm i'm just having a [Laughter] [Music] you got any left i found somebody who would do it she fall right back in love all over here i didn't know how to ask don't even be embarrassed now she's coming home saying weird [ __ ] babe i plan that's a water date [Music] watching movies [Laughter] all the freaks oh man now my dna [Music] i was in the ninth grade oh man there's always somebody on the internet i'm a 43 year old man i had sausages in both hands just the other day i had to get on the bus just like seeing to do that quick trip with two big ass hot dogs trying to figure out two big ass hot dogs huh high blood pressure don't keep you humble why you gotta take you can watch this the oven is on top of the lottery tickets and they still be using the [ __ ] sounds like y'all don't appreciate it found a way to officially cook food with the light bulbs and you [ __ ] don't appreciate it [ __ ] we know this [ __ ] is not healthy you got to get the whole pizza you got to get the pizza i get the hot dogs early in the morning when they're fresh all right [Applause] i roll in that beach about 8 15 and it's plump on all sides it's easily it evenly heated up now the pizza you gotta say i want a whole pizza all right and they're gonna take it out the plastic and they'll slide that [ __ ] in the oven two minutes and forty-five seconds later that fresh you don't have to do this you know what you're a blessing right you yeah you have options what's your point 7-eleven there's one in the box just like if i go through my house you're like that's what i'm doing they just said i got [Laughter] what's some of the best [ __ ] y'all ate since y'all been here though we had breakfast at barney's today barney everything they had was crazy you should have went to the uh atlanta breakfast club they got some ass bro [ __ ] why you ain't telling you guys i'll take you like three slimming huskies we had that that [ __ ] we go right after that you should have got edgewood pizza too they just we just got turned on in them you would have liked shipped this donuts not [ __ ] what's the dude sublime donuts oh yeah what is that check that to me oh you should have linked in the next one he hit me after we was already done like i got another [ __ ] snake [Music] [Music] his grandfather's village and they was like you want to do this gangster [ __ ] he was like i'm vietnamese for real i just know a little english and they was like they said some [ __ ] in their native language that was kind of like [ __ ] and then he was like let me show you and then they went they had a ceremony they killed the snake and they took a little and they smeared something under his ass and he didn't even flinch and then they did like some of his cheap and then they kind of like made like a design he just set them that's right this was as he was getting a native haircut with a sharp ass piece obsidian and they was layering his [ __ ] in the back put some designs in it kind of like mohawk but it was like it was in the jungles of vietnam so now he's sitting there right it's this big ass slab marble slab they take this big ass snake the snake crawling up the slab by the time they get to him they stretch it out bust that [ __ ] down like a feeling cigarillo flip the snake open take the heart out then snip the snake penis off too right then they take a shot glass fill it up with blood put the penis at the bottom right then they put the heart in that [ __ ] and kind of like whisk it a little bit my boy took that [ __ ] drunk two of them and they was like you must be the descendant of the king of this village so now his picture's up everywhere this is really this really happened yeah i don't make up [ __ ] bro everybody this is a regular orange juice glass it was in the jungle though but they kind of they got amazon prime [Music] you gotta have heart to be a snake bro come on man was it indiana jones what are you trying to prove [Music] yeah but what they don't tell you is once you drink a snake heart your dick could be hard enough to hang a hat on did that happen did you uh did you do something snake blood as well you didn't want to black okay black [ __ ] around and drink some snake blood end up with the goddamn sickle cell look out you don't want to go around you know how they do us i'm from the project though i'm i'm immune to a lot of [ __ ] you from mississippi yeah and i'm from the project so i was like that's a double pool like i never had a chance i lived in the projects in the poorest state so we were on the ground that's why you got the cars you like little lows aqua mississippi yeah that's where uh university is there ole miss ole miss i mean hell yeah that's that's the same place you can do that all the time so you know when they have the games oxford mississippi eli manning versus that was around when eli manning played at ole miss on my ride [Music] yeah that [ __ ] like the drink oh you look like it hey he's a real drinker that [ __ ] used to take like a plastic bag and like wrap that [ __ ] around his wrist and then just be walking around with just beers and [ __ ] around his wrists oh that's white you get to see a lot of strange [ __ ] living in the place like that like people don't like the first time i saw peyton manning like i thought that [ __ ] was unreal not because it was like he was a superstar but this [ __ ] has the biggest head oh man [ __ ] head like this [ __ ] pony him you know what else got a big ass [ __ ] head rick flat that [ __ ] head big this way and this way i see him replacing the airplane i saw ric flair the uh the jay paul fight he was holding a slap a slapping competition just just stand there and take a left in atlanta yeah yeah was slapping conferences i hosted one of the first slap contests around here i just love how they be holding the table after the snap paperwork i like the [ __ ] that be professional because [ __ ] be getting hit with whole houses and they be like i've been hit harder don't worry about it oh [Music] oh this cocaine i've done all these steroids it's always funny though when they size up the slack because they'd be lucky they come to this listen when the crowd start counting one [Laughter] if somebody like did all that went through all the motions and then they like purposely missed became oh my god i think he just took home the trophy you missed me [Applause] [Music] what's the prize for the snap contest i think he got five grand something like that it went a lot they shouldn't make it like five grand but you got to take home like a random ass prize too like oh six maximum [Music] is [Laughter] they got some brand new ones oh man i wonder if nissan knows that people think about their cars i wanted me some be like man you know people be laughing at the ultimate stuff man but they be selling right now who came up with the toyota corolla oh [Laughter] but don't nobody want to ask because he's such a [ __ ] about everything well you know i came up with the corolla [Applause] again have you ever done it he'd be all at the boy i mean the corolla is the most successful thing we've done yeah but we want to focus more on the camera this year why would you want to do that don't fix what they broke it's a corolla baby how many corollas we got there on the street right now people hate the world what oh man at least you got the sliding door actually you know deborah they'd be doing cupcakes on wednesdays and [ __ ] man the [ __ ] be down there moving in corollas non-stop non-stop airbags airbag safety safety safety like bro man i'd rather work wide but have a long america yeah they got rid of it it really was though they had some lights when like you could literally let the back seat down a little bro i had a co-worker who had avalon you might as well be what about [ __ ] that drive two door ultimates oh the [ __ ] thought they was the [ __ ] he's like why you don't get that knock off g37 spend the extra 10 grand to get the g my [ __ ] good dude i feel like if you got a two-door ultimate your whole church is proud of your academic achievement he got a 3 8 in front of the chair you got a little bow on it fully loaded 20 21 corolla like if you can you can have this maybe you won't take dogs ain't even no payments man is [ __ ] subaru outback no lie kid you not they i had a brand deal and subaru was like all you to do is drive the outback i was like it was a legacy outback but you know what i have to like we'll have to be playing every time you pull up that same song nino brown was listening to my back against the wall i remember that exact scene that's what you wanted he stood up [Music] [Laughter] [Music] that i know for real [ __ ] cause i've been getting calls [ __ ] was insecure online bro what you meant by that i was like [ __ ] do i need to put the emojis so you would know no i'm just saying you know [ __ ] be trying to sleep and say [ __ ] i was black [ __ ] saying congratulations nah but it's the way you said it it's like why you ain't kept flies everything was small of cash but yeah the capital is man you got to be careful with that [ __ ] fruit they take it personal but when i saw it i was so proud because it was for real it was a black man moment right now it reminded me so much of cooley hat when i seen you in that [ __ ] all i kept hearing was pre saying i should drive this maserati for this white [ __ ] you remember that scene man you ain't drooling no monster riding for no white lady man i'm telling y'all man i'm just driving myself mode what you do in sport mode come on man how fast can you pick the kids up in space soccer practices come on man tell them about the sensor that beat when [ __ ] get too close stick away from her i always take my son in a soccer practice right really every time he got to i got if i'm in my wife's car she's got a crv hold on before i take him let me go back real safe that's a safe ass video it is and it will last five hundred thousand a month hondas will go bro bro i just will go i had to beat up some more jumping still took it no if the clutch went out yo i saw it with the clutch gone [Music] taking the engine out anyway so [ __ ] the clutch it was quick i was like bro they don't go more than 15 miles an hour they're like so easy work i have uh on the accord no i was like the station wagon accord and i haven't seen it yeah they you know like they have the all this [ __ ] you name it i'm gonna just bow obscure his car now i'm gonna find something obscure all-wheel drive it was getting 16 miles to a gallon in l.a and i was like this ain't gonna work my mother's a honda accord wagon and a dude didn't tell me because i bought it off craigslist this is before i do the difference between craigslist and ebay man that [ __ ] transmission went out two days later i put that [ __ ] back on craigslist and sold it two days later well i told him i said hey the transmission is going up cause i tried to go get the transmission transmission gone it was gone [ __ ] it was been missed every day of school for a year and but they bought it for the same price this episode is sponsored by bluetooth hey what's up it's carlos miller and if you don't know by now blue chew is where it's at blue chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as viagra and cialis but in chewable form and at a fraction of the cost the process is simple sign up at 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sure you go and hit the website and grab you some of this apparel so we can know that you're an official 85 percenter so you can wear this on vacation this summer you if you don't get the hoodie you got a shot you should get the hoodie i know it's hot but i let them know where to get it though man like if you're gonna be on the plane or something you don't know it's gonna be cold in a lot of places so you're gonna need some sleeves just in case then you take that off and you've got this one yeah like if you don't you know if you get cold fast keep the 85 south hooded come on man we're gonna be rocking this t-shirt most of the summer [ __ ] who work out gonna cut the sleeves lady's gonna cut the sleeves off get some sad titty going on here.com hell yeah ud to all the ladies who got the abs you could just cut this part off and just leave the south we win this on vacation also i ain't playing i'm wearing this [ __ ] on the plane i'm taking this one yeah sleeveless hoodie no i ain't wearing no sleeves i ain't look i ain't even do that stupid ass [ __ ] you gotta dance if you do that you be dancing well i i do but that dance why would i buy this to cut the sleeves out when i could have bought the shirt but they got it getting on the shirt i don't have the hood on it huh you got to throw the hood on while you this [ __ ] going they ain't going to stretch this good material but you know when you rip this part off and you just got no sleeves that [ __ ] be stupid i got to do who be like i like that shirt he sell me a lot of these blanks cause if you hot you're gonna be hot why would you be hot with a hood on with no sleeves i mean if you looking cool you don't look homeless if you look cool while you hot you won't be as hot it's going to be a homeless man like let me get that up they got all the old ones they do the ones that got messed up you know what i seen the dude walking down the street with a hood on another day it was so dirty i thought it was camouflage hit the website we out of here i got an oscar car the chevy luminous that's obscure you can pull up at any church in america it'll be aluminum out there yeah this sunday you don't like it you like that he liked it with the issue with the burgundy the burgundy and the white ones he said ooh because he does like three she had the beretta gt that was a coop though wasn't it that's somebody watching this got one for sale it's funny that you literally [Music] and put some foes on that [ __ ] they probably don't make no rims to fit a subaru because there's some stupid [ __ ] like a three lug you ain't heard about the trap wide looks what the [ __ ] is that you only need three yeah this is a it's a vehicle i won't but i can't like justify buying it i love the volkswagen bus oh old-school one yeah i like like the sweet like yeah the hippie thing yeah i like those yeah stay in there gotta give them something for the comment section crosstalk oh they got plenty they're gonna go on about sausages and that was like early in the episode i was like gonna be active they're gonna be sending me pictures i hope this [ __ ] goes stupid viral all kinds of sausage companies reach out hey kev have you tried organic turkey sausages great for putting in your pocket go see kev on instagram a hormel commercial this [Music] it's going to be some independent company out of sacramento kevin we're an independent company we want to do a product called kev on sausages now get this get this this their pocket size but they pack a big punch four grams of protein think about it just something to think about just you're just going to drop this in front of you they're lit resistant do that what you want do that what you want here's the kicker those grease things right see that's what maserati shows back up with a gift box kev i heard you love summer sausage maserati put me in their uh their year in video when they was introduced i wouldn't make one they owe you a free payment that they didn't bro they we talked about a brand new they were like all right man watch out what it's black that's what it is [Music] when i got it man it was i could go anywhere now [Music] but it's just like downtown though it's like that the only reason atlanta has traffic is because nobody knows where the [ __ ] they're going man i mean they know where they wanna it might take you 30 minutes to get there but it'll take you 15 minutes to get back to where the [ __ ] you came from but you could never figure out how to get there in 15 minutes everybody down here drive like they're looking for an address on the building they are everybody oh they'd be stopping they stopped at the green light on me and josh at the green light just stopped hold it's sad they were like yeah green light [Applause] you don't know what was going on in that car they were just like the [ __ ] driving that car might have been going through it [ __ ] i don't know who the [ __ ] no goddamn touch i didn't pee on you you peed [Applause] then no man what you want to spend on that papa you think i would put my name on some [ __ ] that's right now if i told you what i wanted for mine you would look at me like but but we're friends then i got to go through and explain to you why i need this amount i would already know what y'all should just look normal you first was like okay this i'm finding a position that i could do what i've been wanting to [ __ ] the first car i bought when i got in position i bought it challenger you know atlanta got some check they counted yeah yeah they man they just banned that [ __ ] they just passed a new like street like street law type [ __ ] because [ __ ] be racing just but they ain't abiding by [ __ ] they'd be downtown oh well they've taken charlotte like challengers and hellcats and [ __ ] now i was about to call them charlie horses and they taking charlie horse don't walk around and get caught having a chocolate boy cross country huh yeah man that's what they catch a racing yeah yeah but nah they even if they got like a description of your [ __ ] they could just take it word yeah hey so a lot of people just [ __ ] just been getting too man it's the thing though the [ __ ] who put the boots on they sitting in the parking lot in a regular ass whoa that's what everybody had to say they said they watch you walk out the parking lot yeah as soon as you cross the street the boot is on there yeah and then they ain't a regular car i had caught the [ __ ] one time he hadn't even closed the boot i could send the batter to reverse it i was like [ __ ] let me get you 40 dollars and put that because they said people have been taking the one the tire off yeah and they've just been pleased yeah my homeboy he got the entire shop he's been picking up a lot of just people changing their ties and leaving them bro it seemed like it caused more to get higher they had a boot meeting it was like we got to put two boots on these things man we losing boots we lose the recipe that's how stupid it is and another [ __ ] on the parking lot yeah that's stupid it's smart for the [ __ ] who owned the park for the [ __ ] they got the boot company i would hate to be at a party you meet a rich [ __ ] like a real douchebag like i own 100 parking lots i'ma punch that [ __ ] in the face especially if you get you've been drinking a little bit and he's still over there he'll be watching the whole party too he needed to do it man that voice [ __ ] yo parking lot looks like he had 40 i lost that because of you it was you in the back of the club you hit him and knocked his ass out as they walked you out the club somebody had to hit that brother he took the boot off because we were shooting over there he took the boot off he was like what time y'all leaving we're like you know eight or nine cuz i'm coming back at 12. you out here again i'm gonna get you again regularly do it [ __ ] don't never get off the phone with this girl yeah [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] [ __ ] you wanted to get these boots back so you can get three more cards [Music] got it [Laughter] what's the name of this food show uh what's good so it's like what's good atlanta what's good st louis what's good seattle y'all going to emos got that right bill who's that st louis yeah some good pizza yeah good food yeah man yeah gotta go that we hell yeah the [ __ ] got some wings so good [ __ ] the staff will come out and watch you eat them and [ __ ] i told you everybody like mandy okay watch the [ __ ] go extra put this on the ground what's your name what's your instagram buddy keep on on stage you follow tony [Laughter] baker hit the button he was right quarters a little bit [Music] yeah thank you guys [ __ ] in school used to try to laugh hey man ain't steady i'm still cheating off you you know more about this [ __ ] i believe you even give life a chance for glue i don't know it was a stanley cup i didn't i know what you got i had it on my destiny it was one we had the individual desks and everybody was sitting there i wrote it down and according to punk ass was saw me writing it earlier in the day i put the [ __ ] down in between my legs i'm writing [ __ ] down this teacher was like next word is oh right so i'm i'm writing it down i'm looking you say cat i don't know man i don't really feel confident about it because you know they see in the game [Music] [Applause] [Applause] cheating on the first question yes if i got all the words right there [Laughter] [Music] oh [Applause] baker in here tearing up [ __ ] man tony the baker tony the baby [Music] oh man kevin tell me about this studio game man oh man you got your own studio and maserati bro hey congratulations thank you bro we uh wait for tony to come back it's up to you man low key man hold up wait give us some different music we can't do techno while we talk about black entrepreneurship we baited it out all right i just feel like i should be lining up some coke so tell me about the studio am i hot are you guys hot [Music] podcast studio and then uh tony to work with these dudes they had their other uh uh bunker which was like a small studio and we started doing keep your distance because the pandemic that should have been hot too oh man appreciate you creating a platform so comedians can get out there and stuff atlanta king man everybody from atlanta came yeah smack they was out there atlanta ain't no hope people's people from other cities be like man they don't know uh yeah so we was we had the opportunity to do the app and we was like you know written space you know bigger and stuff like that so the one we had is like you can only shoot one thing in there so they shooting and you got to break everything down set it up break everything down set it up so he's like look we if we had more space we could be more efficient and because of the pen they made like this whole warehouse this whole like the whole section like seven out of the eight businesses was gone because the cove so they was like and we got a dollar eighteen a square foot and i was like dollar eighteen daddy this mine was like three dollars something like that but they were just trying to get rid of it so we we got that and man i ain't gonna hold you though the the turning that warehouse into a sound stage you talking about brad it was like life seven million dollars sound proof 18 billion dollars [Laughter] all my [ __ ] would have just had echo [Music] our soundproofing is expensive but now man we was just like yo we get this podcast studio the sound stage we can shoot it other people can come shoot there we can rent it out and stuff like that and we can make our own stuff then we won't have to rent it because then location fees man it'd be location fees for a sound stage would be outrageous because that's that whole business model would be ten thousand dollars a day yeah and soon it'll be like that especially they're like being in the trap y'all see now y'all the one with the location feet we didn't shoot the bet awards here we just made it look like we did oh yeah you see how good this [ __ ] is he stepped on campus we made it look like if we did it look legit yeah but anyway why you keep looking at me like if you already said it it's no secret looking at you he's saying it like we like will you stop stopping here [Laughter] converted to he was like he was looking at me he was looking i was trying to i was trying to do it like this i was trying to do it like this it was so obvious to the [ __ ] bt awards the only [ __ ] that we couldn't do is use this picture of modern game because they don't know who painted that [ __ ] we couldn't clear it yeah we have no idea we don't even know if it's real that that viral video from that man that might be a one-on-one oh look how marvin gaye looking at oh man i gotta get a tony bacon voice over for this is clearly disappointing oh man with everything that's like y'all [Music] tony the baker i went to his house in l.a make a baguette bacon up right now they always have to be getting the grocery bag always man the bad guy but not man we was just man i i i feel like it wasn't in my mind it wasn't as like big as it became but black people don't be on this [ __ ] out here that's out here out here in the world but say it later on everything here yeah here for sure but it was like i was reading ray charles biography and he was like i didn't buy a private plane to flex i bought a private plane because i could i could play 30 more shows a year if i didn't fly commercial i don't know who he saw with a private player oh my god didn't get it right away i'm sure he's all plenty of wait a minute he made me happy he's all like you know like would be more efficient even though you have to call some bread up front yeah once you get it going yeah in the long run it'll be more efficient because now we like build a set in there we actually got three sound stages [Music] next to each other we bought the one next door uh and made it like a storage unit so we we we did this toby video we built this stuff yeah you went in and now we just paint that a different color now it's a living room give them all the sauce there's something strange about that hollywood [ __ ] that makes you think you one place switch it up on you what do you mean right there in the studio [ __ ] [Music] atlanta is good for the black soul the energy oh the like i feel i can't it was like recharging my blackness like it was like just hobbling along you know because i had no shows in this house so it was like no black people like that as far as like being everywhere and you come here man it's just like i missed the blast oh you're black ironic that you bring that up they got a new meet the blacks coming out and there's black people in there so y'all can watch that shout out to them got a lot of family in that movie yeah man i get i get why everybody be like i'm moving atlanta that's going to fix my problem because it's just like atlanta wants you to move to what i'm saying and then you see the price of the houses like [ __ ] we could buy two houses coming from hey like you paid what yeah 17 houses for that bro you moved to atlanta and then you just get you a little la spot a little little one battle exactly work out but man this city is just like i got family here and stuff but just like we've been here for five years also i haven't been here that long in a while usually you just do your show hotel in your hotel but since we ain't been performing we've been riding around the city meeting people talking to people when a lot of black people just be like like the village thing at the beginning that's what i've been telling you you know how you hit [ __ ] like man y'all need to come here y'all need to come in like bro y'all have such a huge following and movement and atlanta [ __ ] with all types of creative people and entertainers and no matter what you do man it's just one of those places where people want to attach to you and see you move on to the next level it's a community everybody know i feel like even our group of comedians we're on the like i'm better than him as much as previous generation but the same thing happening like like artists and chefs and stuff everybody's like go here hook you up my goddamn you can use my snap man pull up on them that's right across networking yeah guys this you know i'm saying it's like all all collected everybody want to see everybody win let me go back to la and it don't be like you know that's because they got some evil white people out there like how can we make it tough for these new girls are they still paying twelve dollars at the improv good let's take it to the team the improv you know what what if we what if we pay them in food instead of money more drinks we'll get the money back we'll make him pay the park until these negroes are smart enough to figure out that there are other places where they can thrive they're gonna strain the market we're gonna drink them dry minnesota like well we got this [ __ ] for 66 cents a square foot you want to build a black hollywood minnesota is ready for black people saint paul is prime real estate hey i got two words paul they walk off on that two more mini okay wait wait wait what if i could take you with this pocket we'll do 46 cents a square foot and we'll legalize marijuana hey you can keep your food stamps really you're sweeting a deal with a corolla no wyoming do you have anything we'll clap [Music] wyoming is out all the black people wow decided that we was moving somewhere we just picked the state nobody gave a [ __ ] about it and just went there and thrashed wyoming is the one man kanye was like man i'll go oh yeah he is out there we gotta go we can go there we go anybody ever been to south dakota i just feel like south dakota harder than north dakota for some reason i feel like the north dakota [ __ ] is a lot there's a lot of best in both of those people smoking oh yeah cause you living next door to an old meth den get a whole block next to those [ __ ] get it exactly you gotta buy everything unseen like we would come show it but uh you know we don't want it nothing to see closing doors oh god oh my want to move doing god oh it's atlanta for me yeah that's the only other place i want to live yeah i know i feel like it'd be just let's move here man everybody we're just trying to just go out man we can do it remotely [Music] my carpet dirty i can't stress that enough bro that's what we got in atlanta it's this [ __ ] called hard wood [Applause] that's all i want in my life don't look like this this black one but we could have a crazy house here oh stupid this is all i wanted a deck we got a lot of animals too yeah animals creeps right up my alley then you could uh living in georgia is good for your cat's allergies i got two cats man i got cash to think that's gonna get here monetizing your own efforts your own animal videos yeah we got a zoo we got a suit hell yeah you said that you think they wouldn't let you do it you could have a whole day when you just go from exhibit to exhibit and doing the voices of the animals yeah they let you down ain't going to you know gorillas got solid that they come when you just be talking about thinking about moving to atlanta people are on twitter to be like don't move here we fully people people are they're not even important those people who say that they don't live in atlanta they live in douglasville la and [ __ ] you rode through the city look at all them condos and [ __ ] they brought them up everywhere yeah you'd be like this is a madness hold up listen bran this kind of just finished they just put the address on here 42. i don't live in atlanta personally if i walk down the street i'll be in fulton county that's all that matters yeah so who really live in atlanta though not nobody really that's why i feel like a few players from the falcons uh well yeah atlanta is really just a big ass circle like everybody who lives in the middle is pretty much atlanta and then there's like 250 cities around this [ __ ] it's everywhere that's a lot but they like say that you can go over two streets and be in another city yeah you get what i'm saying it's like that and you can live you get land man my father-in-law live out here but he's living i mean it's covington yeah i bought me some land walk outside naked anytime i want to that's that can go you ain't never heard nobody else mailbox mailbox that's the comment i want an outside bathroom like i can smoke a cigar and just kick back in the bathroom and hold on to it maybe a possum in there with you in the corner watching you could do that in l.a it's just your neighbor's gonna enjoy it too much taking another bath i was gonna come down the bath too but just everybody leaving there i don't need to be there 190 000 you said 190 000 people left it's the lowest population they had since oh i mean california l.a i got to come out there soon how long did it take you to get here from the crib for my career about 25 minutes easy work that's a nice ride in the maserati in the maserati it would have been 20. yeah maserati is a hovercraft 18. yeah don't you hover over the traffic in there yeah we're going to be missing it's like doc brown you know he dipped off and it came back right the best thing about it people always look your wife ever make you put it up like ah take the other car like you have monster drivers leather gloves all right do me a favor this is why my man just need you to do take a ride in the maserati fingerless leather gloves that's it just send me a video didn't want to see a black man doing this making a any woman that won't drive the maserati keeper i actually never thought about that man she's selfless bro all she cared about is her kids and the family's happiness she's good right here right she don't be willing to flex or nothing you got to get you some [ __ ] that you like that your wife don't like yeah you know he be in that little truck this little truck he got a truck too he got a pickup truck can't be pulling up in the pickup truck nothing in the back no retired from i wish we had the space to move it around man i'm sorry my truck is so useless i got a bed covered i make sure people don't answer me you got anything electric what you mean like a scooter or a car i wouldn't buy no [ __ ] electric car what if i change my mind and want to go somewhere else i got the queen put a charger up at the crib what if i'm not at the crib they got charging stations around the city did you know that i'm from mississippi and the closest charging station is two hours away you think i haven't researched this i can't drive that [ __ ] home and be the only [ __ ] in mississippi y'all got a tesla charger baby you might well lay down you're gonna have to charge your little car in the morning i would plug it up again but you're not gonna run my light bill [Applause] you pull up to the gas station mississippi they chew with tobacco you got a tesla charger what the [ __ ] did you just say to me me boy we got tesla get the tesla right here what does that even mean we got crosses burning in the back we're americans boy the hardball want to know how you started your voiceovers uh i saw this video this gold in brazil this is like 2013. he was just harassing these people man they was out living life they was on the motorcycle yeah he was he was ramming him up they was like hey and then he had scooted on down and there was this lady with the groceries and then he was trying to he was trying to just come up what she got in the bag she was like going somewhere he ran back crammed her down then this dude tried to come in and help and he was like were you helping man captain save the whole ass [ __ ] he was chasing chasing him down he was just on it so the dude was running around the tree so that was the first video i did and then uh i did the raccoons oh the raccoon raccoon eating the cash food oh man he was just in there like yeah it looked like he was talking to the cat man i don't be getting in on that snack come on man so [ __ ] up because i don't even want to see no animals without the tony baby i seen this making like two videos a day i don't give a [ __ ] [Applause] give me something on the back on the top they just be saying [ __ ] in the studio we loot that back and then make it hot on the eye the highest you've seen this documentary about this [ __ ] humanoid chimpanzee no oliver nah i'm not just seeing you then it's the craziest [ __ ] ever man this [ __ ] used to just walk around smoking cigarettes and cigars and [ __ ] he had a ball like he had no hair on his face like they thought he was mixed with a human what pull it up ryan they think i'm [ __ ] oliver the chimpanzee it's the craziest [ __ ] ever but he's a chill he balls that's someone that used to smoke cigarettes yeah remember they had to just like get rid of them because they kept trying to [ __ ] that lady and wow out of the game man take care of her wait till you see this [ __ ] oliver looking at her when she come in that's what you wanted today how you doing dory you all right you popular at work with the researchers out here oh he got no bottoms on sitting [Laughter] you ever think about you ever been with a minister yeah we primal in that sack god damn tony and david attenborough them the funniest animal [ __ ] that [ __ ] from the netflix yeah the people if they don't find cover soon i'll be like we got that voice man yeah make you invested right from the gym research department you found that [ __ ] sucked bro he was looking up he was looking up anaconda hearts just hannah and the kind of heart [Laughter] vacation or idea off time situation i'll be trying to find the ideal vacation spot i don't know yet i need to go somewhere that they have nice views and some good weed like that's the only [ __ ] that i really be wanting to do we want to get high enough to forget the lows now i do a lot of [ __ ] in my hotel i got a son you know i travel i go home and go in the woods and you know country [ __ ] [ __ ] you don't got to be hunting to be in the woods i don't know what else you can do out there a lot of [ __ ] to do a lot of [ __ ] okay i'm just leaving alone around here [Applause] he's gonna reheat some quick trip hot dogs y'all want some pizza oh my god man i can't take it in the box you my head hurt man it's too much laughing for one brother i've been talking so much [ __ ] in here it's good for your soul it is dog i'm recharged bruh i'm moving to atlanta man man we gotta shoot tuesday i'll come back i'll come up every week atlanta is not a place you're just gonna be flying yeah man five i don't never sleep on planes you don't have no sleeping pills no i don't they sell them at the airport i don't want to start getting hooked on sleeping pills though that's what i'm scared of non-stop yeah so you can commute to los angeles see it could be done but he also eats snake hearts and he drinks it like v8 man tony ain't gonna fly he ain't gonna commute like that you know i don't know nothing about this he's old and angry you'll go to the airport this is why i said it was loud because to him was trying to talk to us and karen was they were talking and so every time he would say a sentence he would turn the music back up and he would have to turn it back down just just leave it down some [ __ ] is just louder kev don't nobody don't you can't all the time well listen listen he's situational because today we were coming here music loud and then tony trying to have a whole conversation with us it was like turn the music down oh [ __ ] that's the one thing you're about to get it was outcast your hearing gets better as you get older bro that's why i stopped going to the club because i was the only [ __ ] in there like why the music is so good how are we going to talk to them man you got some you got a nice setup young man that's all i was saying man i'm just two just two you know you gotta tell me that ain't being ridiculous about it that's it just two little slides yeah two little that's all i had to do shut up tonight we found something else to complain about i mean you know y'all be complaining well don't be complaining tony that'd be you tony tony getting the card no close the door and then the thing going off like tom closure though hey don't tell me what to do and there's always your i'll be closing it man you always got to do something else see that's what i'm saying i guess that just relates i'm at that phase of my life he's all he loves me i might just sit down and just be thinking for a second hey man can you close the door we have that [ __ ] loud i ain't heard a [ __ ] thing the [ __ ] was in the house with the [ __ ] what did you talk about you see your young ass don't know [ __ ] just think life is out here damn [ __ ] game we are here she [ __ ] in the house hey man leave that [ __ ] alone you don't know what he got going on i just love them slam on the brakes at the green line there's another right here right now the green lights i ain't afraid to die in the corolla in the 1998 saturn it's what they don't never they'll never leave this part in well she'd be like well just pull up and let me drive my car home is that her name oh that's when it's hard hitting right there that's the trigger pull right there oh my god man that's the [ __ ] up part about it though man when you grow up when you become a grown man and you look back at all this [ __ ] like i know it's some women that didn't get the best version of me oh yeah but i wonder if they really liked me think all the women who [ __ ] me when i have no car now they see you on instagram like oh now you got it yeah he got a fleet now he can't keep track [ __ ] can't stop buying it oh we was in awesome but one time i moved into a new apartment and somebody came and gave me some [ __ ] on the floor not even on the air mattress this is on the raw floor hardwood go back and forth not on the carpet oh the carpet georgia don't give you no life uh pictures when you move in the apartment though that's how california is yeah you got to bring them in she saw the guy in you she saw what [Music] nice apartment so the carpet had a little play in it so i never could really find no grip so i burnt two little small yeah these you know there's no guillotine [Music] these was wrong bro what yeah on the floor no whip can't win them all no wit no pillow no furniture where you just moved in i think i was just at a point in my life where everything just had failed that's why i don't respect a lot of [ __ ] if you ain't never lost everything and got it back you ain't gonna get you don't understand all this [ __ ] i've been through that's what when i've been when i first got to l.a they was beating me out of deals left and right [ __ ] that was like y'all are good at this i looked back at my head to come up and i was like [ __ ] i damn this i feel like a uh explosion survivor because one day i just was walking away and everything i had was behind me i have nothing but these lips a deal i'll never forget man they gave me i was an idiot i signed the first version of the contract damn they was like here i was like kevin that's me full man yes what you can't make no youtube videos on your channel fine we're getting 50 grand down there everybody else was like you can't do nothing you can't do what they gave us double the money they were i sold them old videos i was like oh so y'all you can go back and forth with the lawyers i didn't i thought they was kind of like taking a leave nobody expect you to start the first one i was like oh okay all right all right yeah you didn't negotiate [ __ ] looks like they sent the email printed it out at my job that was at boeing when they printed out the word computer you guys later [Laughter] [Music] expeditiously [Applause] this the white man he brought the paperwork to was like aaron uran aaron you remind me of my old self ship off the old block oh god see who goes oh [Laughter] if you don't come out with some pocket sausages 110 [Laughter] it's called parkinson's for [ __ ] on the go with [ __ ] on the go what about the wrangler ah let me see the laptop i gotta show this [ __ ] that chimpanzee holy cheers you think this is the game you really don't his name is oliver yeah that's it oh my god dawg i can't keep laughing like this man hurts so good let's move here man i watch that nose all right the truth comes out i asked her oh oh god this is you see that third link right there oliver the humanzie look at his face bro don't that [ __ ] look like you look like ross perot yeah you got to check that [ __ ] out man this is i wasn't expecting anymore black and white footage one of the craziest [ __ ] nights on the plane yeah was on the plane he only walked on two legs bro he never got down never i wish i would from about he tried to make him walk like a monkey just [ __ ] man you put that [ __ ] around my neck man let me walk how much weed you had smoked but you stumbled across this [ __ ] when i saw it it scared the [ __ ] out of me cause they were looking down and he reacted the way we would react if you put us in a cage full of monkeys he's like yo yeah i got pants on man man this nigga's not like he was like i got pants on get me out of here bro i got wranglers on right here that would be up to three o'clock part one of six please watch this [ __ ] documentary to all the people who are wondering what we watch called oliver the humanity skip this you go to this [ __ ] right here look they gotta pick up this [ __ ] in high he's school his grill and everything man he had on some glasses yo he looked crazy it looked like he'll kill you at the day's game what monkey don't all all chimpanzees look like but he looked extra crazy it looks y'all he got a british accent can fight bare knuckles watch out this [ __ ] walk down these [ __ ] sleeves look at this telling you this this is the pablo escobar footage right yeah he was making 15 million dollars a month [ __ ] sitting on the airplane just chilling he kicked up bro look at him yo he on a regular seat he eating a hamburger with a soda here comfort blood he's telling her what he like no pickles on that burger he's in the exit row you got to be able to say yes to get the eggs and roll he was like yes i'll open the hatch he's smoking a cigar yo he watching tv yo he really out here doing he's taking off the hospital gown bro this is this is and this is old footage that's right this ain't even though cgi whole study trying to figure out why he walked standing up like that he might do whatever y'all do y'all do this i do this you watch the crazy part is you can sit there and talk to him and he would do this [ __ ] bruh that's why the lady used to say something nice not gonna they got footage of that too we just can't watch it on the regular internet problem oh damn yo we got hoop shorts on yo he's scary looking though in the face yeah check this [ __ ] out though check that [ __ ] out man y'all everybody already follow y'all man but drop the social media links man don't let this be the last time y'all stop through here oh we pull it up no problem with me i'm moving out we gonna be here we got our own spot too this is we even been telling nobody all right man yeah we're gonna switch traps voice traps switch straps why you keep looking up though what's up cause i'm trying to make sure we're making the right decision you know we could have just invested a few dollars [Laughter] you know like when you're trying to leave your grandma's house you only got to go nowhere get out she'll be tired so i'm going she's still down there over there accounts receivable yeah i'm over there but you know i'm listening i'm gonna get a body here though all right wait did i tell you that pocket sausage [Applause] your son is funny as hell oh appreciate it oh yeah yeah yeah man that's how we got still doing comedy now you're tired damn it was there yeah i didn't really want to work out like that you know these jokes with this puberty [ __ ] man got me cranky oh you got my younger son jojo yeah oh no we still got the podcast i know you got the pocket what does they say doing comments bro zay out man you come back around me since tuesday really bro you been hitting them i mean hey man man stop i feel like i see him put the phone down you know what's funny about your text he owns his phone yeah your text come here be like just swipe it back he swiped that up quick he was screen recording something he was going to send to his girl and dad care i love you son look out i got to start the screen record over because he's texting me he loved me man that's why you don't respond because you got to start that screen [ __ ] the tick tock do h i r m o r e on everything uh what's your name your name your show huh your show uh check out word is hard um my youtube page as well as zooming with the homies and more to the story and damn in the next are scary hey you got a lot going on to you yeah man he was like you know the wording zara zuma with the homies damn in the niche is scary vodka sausage you know saying he's the manager for pocket sausage he runs the social media yeah yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] oscar meyer for the guy [ __ ] on the go cam on stage um on everything uh get the camera on stage studios app we've got all kinds of shows on there tony got a new show coming out yeah man uh on the app this what show it's gonna be it's going to be a voiceover show can we say it we only talking damn i'm doing voiceover shows with kevin studios yeah i won't end it's going to be lit i want to be on the commentary i got some i got some voices ain't busted out yet yo he got the voice no man that [ __ ] right i don't want to be out here just using my regular voices like hey man that sounds like color it's the same [ __ ] from that big critter you need some more voices man you know [ __ ] we don't have no ability to fix it personally but we uh we got a special commercial shoot in the next two weeks 26 is going to do this one uh to here is a is the lead of this one so i think about two years ago now i got the first one and then it was mean belief and then soon after that it was like come back again he's like man get tony in there we got to hear him there and then let me tell you tony's standing up tony's doing like this yeah guys this is crazy you can't have a melissa come back right they come back on vacation like tony what are you doing in that house right now i'm posting that tony up before they walk in right so we do a couple takes all right yeah he scored right he was like right here let's let's lose the dap all right cool [ __ ] i'm feeling let's just keep your hands let's keep your hands down just look like come on again they was like eventually they just said this they just said tim that's uh let's just get you out let's just get you out of the commercials let him fix the mic he ain't telling me right it was way slower than that it was like losing but be excited with your hands he's like all right it was all right close your fingers because you had them up just keep waiting to fix you're like all right all right so like okay then you know what just kind of smile and do this but don't don't raise your hands he's like all right feels like actually man for this next one just sit down just sit down real quick no you don't take but feel excited you know what i'm saying feel excited they was like and they was like could you just scoot school we just want to get the shot dirty with you we're gonna get you dirty there's a little shoulder right there was like you know what we just want to get one clean [Music] like you know what's in here let's just see how it feels with you standing over here and then when you step off set they like that's a rapper no no no no no it's worse listen so let's loosen here so i'm standing over to the side i'm over here i'm like [ __ ] i'm gonna go outside i'm gonna go grab me something to eat it's like let's go let's go grab to here dear um we don't want you in the commercial but we want you around just let me have the essence you want to feel your presence but not see i'm not even gonna set my [ __ ] i'm back there just like we seem to hear since [Music] this is the first time this is the first time we've seen it commercials they ran you all around go sit in your car but don't turn the music on no because we want to be able to feel like you're superhero yeah radiate so here drive to the end of the block leave your lights on but turn the engine off yeah yeah now we could get to here go home but don't turn the lights on when you get to the house to here book a flight to east st louis go to that abandoned house you grew up in and just see it here i knew he was mad let's turn around [Applause] i was like listen if you're going to cut me off this [ __ ] cut me down they got it back home we actually used all of that he's just not in america isn't it that you don't need to physically be there just know man you're killing me oh my god this next one is going to be more mostly voice-over because we got plenty of stock footage kanye west was just producing the beast that was you producing the ambiance in the background then you had a feature your village was like to hear he's he's not ready yet he's over he's i don't know how to say this he's uh he's blocking tony it doesn't matter where we put this guy the wide back the wife he's wide though this guy's a bonafide star and i'm still trying to figure out how i can use him it's just [Music] the worst part is the director was saying from video village to the assistant director but you can hear the directors if you have to hear just step outside to here we can have you just step i heard it i heard it it could make you feel any better they got me like that one time i had a [ __ ] audition for this movie so you know you go in and you read the [ __ ] and be like yeah just do the last and then you do the lines and then they're like all right let's see you do one yeah yeah you would do it i'd do this [ __ ] like i would do it and they like i [ __ ] love that [ __ ] you stay cause we're gonna do some more at like two o'clock that's in about an hour so you just stay and then it'll be like the call back so you don't get i was like okay then i go in for the second part of the audition they didn't change the script to the [ __ ] i said yeah in the first place yeah so i see this i'm like nick same [ __ ] oh what you said my audition was in the movie but she wasn't in the movie that's a cold a white man oh audition i knew i killed it they called me for a call back a week later they're like man everything you did was amazing we wanted we want to see you do that again and then we want to give you some other characters just a cold reach to see how you would do them so i'm like oh [ __ ] i'm [ __ ] it huh i got a little bag [ __ ] right call me wallet right so i do everything they asked me to do oh we love it i see them taking notes to the directors they're the producers there and the casting directors i'm like oh [ __ ] yes when we start it was like thanks for coming in man they used all my ideas for four characters didn't book me for one wow [ __ ] i had a call back audition with this white superstar i knew the [ __ ] was going to get picked up because he was on it it was just me and him and we was in the [ __ ] studio recording scenes all day and he was like give her a [ __ ] perfect for this [ __ ] they gotta pick you i'ma tell them to pick you never heard back from them i was with this [ __ ] all day we just running [ __ ] i'm like they're going to use all this they're going to use it oh listen why they want to see me get this dynamic with the star yeah um first of all [ __ ] amazing actor but in that movie that nigga's different they kept tell them too oh man i was in there i had lions i was like yeah such a such and such-and-such hmm yeah director hit me up right before the premiere like hey tom man sorry but uh you had to cut your scene because it just didn't really flow with the oh my you know what i'm saying cool cool you know and i didn't know what it was going to become well that movie ain't going to do nothing no way academy academy awards best picture nominee jk simmons i'm like i was standing behind jk simmons so now all you see is my silhouette in the movie in the back i do this i had lines with the league they'd been giving us some raw engines cause i was letting them know it was show time and then jk simmons looked back at me like all right man shut up black man the thing is you can tell in the silhouette that is tony like it's clearly tony i did that though i was like [Applause] all right god that's oh man it was like whoa that guy right there in the back the silhouette the oscar nominee right there man they be [ __ ] us man beckoning oh my god that was the bro man bethany that's it all right tony if you could just if you could face us and just give us like you come in and do your part and then people like so you're here tomorrow like [ __ ] are tomorrow [Applause] oh i don't mean no disrespect bro but you i got to get that script from over there no idea about this girl you're a guest like i give you your page for the day you get no real signs you get one page that's it that little that little tiny page little smaller and a half by eleven four and a half by six yeah put you in that honeycomb you'll be out in here we'll come get you when they walk you back to the trailer and look pa lady be outside yeah so are we going are we going with him tomorrow too okay exiting the paperwork okay gotcha will she just look all right no you can get dressed put everything back in that plastic bag and just hang it up it's unnatural what's the car time for tomorrow there's no call time ain't no sense come up here location bro they act like they don't know if you're trying to go back they'll even drive you back to the car you're out in the dusty day you're uber out there you see the little scooter right there hop on that it'll work out here in the desert just swipe hey can i get that pads back too [Music] patriots are great we need this trailer bruh i don't know you just keep the clothes uh can you hang the shirt back up yeah because we gonna need the shirt yeah put the shoes in the plastic bag now oh snap appreciate it lord jesus you up man is that your is that your sausage you brought to your pocket oh there we go come on you forfeit you want to grab something to go you're gonna walk by you wanna you can find your way that story was funny man i was you ain't never made a mistake several times that was that was one of those defining moments bro [Music] oh yeah yeah uh tony baker tony the baker tony baker to the uncles out there tony baker on everything uh i'm saying check out my youtube tony baker comedy got some content on there i got daddy issues podcasts got verbal cardio uh when this drop i don't know when this is driving on one of them fridays it's gonna be a while so no it ain't it ain't gonna be that long this is coming out well check out my verbal cardio episode i got a guest on there for the first time i got d smoke on so check that interview out shout out to d smoke get my first guess y'all some of the most requested guests that we hadn't had oh word yeah i'm glad you all got to come together i love what y'all doing man oh you dc and chico man i'm going to the show next time y'all pull up i meant to say that at the beginning but we was yeah we went right into being happy let me tell you something bro when i see you know we're having five six seven thousand people just we just gonna freestyle oh my god y'all put that up yeah that's what we gonna do and then put that up man we can do anything this is an event bro that's like watching the trailblazer do something then you'd be like bro now now i gotta do it say but it's just like what they do but it's us for five six seven thousand people owning it and it's crazy because it's like kind of tell you where we go on these [ __ ] shows and we'll do like we'll book a venue and we'll do two shows [ __ ] half the crowd will come to the next show oh meet and greet and everything do the same meet and greet that first show but this second one you all should have said that [ __ ] the [ __ ] you said the first time why y'all they do the song [ __ ] cause we made it up watching them [Music] what y'all are doing is incredible hey man it's such a free fall and it's so much fun because the people just allow us the space yeah to try it yeah and that's the one thing that's that's been missing out of our element of entertainment as comedians like we got to be prepared when we get there they don't want to have a lot of spaces where we could try [ __ ] yeah right especially in front of that many people mm-hmm yeah y'all have thousands they be in there they look like the place to be man oh man energy they gonna talk about 85 south like the cotton club i saw them down back in that day you had to get two tickets you missed the second show we all sat together we had everything man we had our vests on we gonna talk about the pocket saucer [ __ ] [ __ ] season some [ __ ] [Applause] oh my god oh absolutely somebody work at home a pocket sausage holder right you just slide it in the holder yeah [Applause] that's all he needed that's all these little six-year-old hands man you go we live you ain't the meeting you're getting [Music] in tired group they 5 000 members oh my god don't be already getting already [ __ ] is it's going to stop supposed to get away from commercial tonight you ever been starving in a meeting and hungry check your it was fresh that just came out i feel like for some reason this [ __ ] gonna be big india i don't know why i just feel like dave that's street meat sauce hilarious this is how i like to do all the ways well if everything i did in the world didn't matter but i got something yeah that's i didn't recognize you until i had that sausage in my hand then i was like you man oh snap come on it really is pocket sausage out here i wouldn't be so that's what cam needed oh [ __ ] we got another all right we got to get the [ __ ] out of here all right man thank you for having us bro oh yeah for sure hey man y'all welcome any time to stop through the trap anytime more than welcome i'm gonna pull up again you should i'm moving out here soon you got to do the stuff i could do a removal man he was doing it twice a week atlanta there yeah it's doable you ain't gonna do it though i'm back shut up they don't know what i'm gonna do he could do it twice he ain't gonna do it though then they're gonna be like you know what [ __ ] that goddammit no i'm helping if the plane crashed 1-800 no ain't helping oh man all right man get off me man all right y'all thanks for tuning in to another episode 85 remember if everything's working you should be too i'm carlos miller this is a fast sound show my [ __ ] we in the track i'll see you later make sure you get the little bumps off the back of your neck for the summer change your pillow okay appreciate it let's get it bro guys sit back down we all vary in heights so it's gonna look stupid [Music] everybody look off

Channel: The 85 South Comedy Show

Views: 1,929,149

Rating: 4.9184036 out of 5

Keywords: nigerian, comedy, dcyoungfly, karlousmiller, mtv2, wildnout, podcast, chicobean, kevinhart, dc young fly podcast, 85 south show new, 85 south show time, karlous miller podcast, chico bean podcast, 85 south podcast, funny comedy show, black, kevonstage, tahir moore, stagekrew, tony baker, comedy podcast, pocketsausage, kevonstage studios, all def digital, fast and furious

Id: Ua1uQsALGM8

Length: 164min 16sec (9856 seconds)

Published: Sat May 29 2021