Poundland Special: Mongo Football Guard | Ashens

[Music] Cheapo ah poundland special time once more and it's been a hell of a time for pound shops around here in Norwich recently we finally had a pound World open we had another poundland open and then another poundland open like a really massive one directly opposite an existing poundland and inexplicably they both still seem to be open which makes no sense cuz it's like a one minute walk from one to the other across the road I presume the old one will close at some stage maybe either that or soon the whole world will be pound lands and what a future that will be Futures containing things like this yep it's another original figure series from poundland presumably taking in a bit of Game of Thrones with King's Guard there he is Jamie Lannister in all his glory except it's obviously not so what have we got here then Knights yep kind of guessed that bit anything on the back nope it'll be fantastic won't it can't see oh yes there we are I was nearly worried for a second not 3 sad onions the usual works and basically yeah he's got an axe bigger than he is he's got quite a nicely detailed hat with a sort of Golden Bird thing going on he's got a slightly worrying face looks a bit like a Scottish standup comedian who just told a very Ry joke and he's in a very odd pose let's get him out and see what he's actually like this could take some time it didn't right here he is yeah that pose actually is something slightly more worrying um can he hold this in two hands no definitely not well let's put that in yeah okay that is confusing me just a quick look on the face slightly worried about the eyes but the paint job's actually better than most poundland stuff and on goes his hat and here he is ready to defend the realm from people who've been painted properly um yeah the legs are kind if he had different weapons I could sort of see this working but uh frankly no looks like a badly designed soul caliber character oh well you go over there with your weird candy striped um jumper and we shall look at another one in the series somebody you seems to just been stabbed with an arrow and is trying to get it out very Stern face on this one is a noise he's probably making got a fantastic horse on his helmet though would actually make it so heavy that he probably wouldn't be able to wear it and his weapon looks like some sort of thing for I don't know testing a wind tunnel nice English flag on the front of your armor there we're all very impressed and even more impressed by the way that you can seemingly do the splits in plate mail yeah not entirely convinced with the poses on this one oh well better look at another one then oh God this one is quite clearly a rotting corpse far too many teeth bed skin gone back hair sort of randomly painted beautiful hat though reminds me of one of the heroes of magic games um interesting very Soulcalibur esque sword there actually and the POS I don't know what the bloody hell is going come on I want to see this one out come with me put your hat on because frankly your face is bloody terrifying there we are oh my God there's like some massive SCAR or something on it is that deliberate NOP that's just bad painting by the looks of it Blobby he seems to have noticed it though blood me faces but oh now everything's better well nearly hat doesn't fit on oh God he doesn't fit over his hair you give him this cool hat and then he can't wear it there's his crazy sword there is is yeah yes you heathens will be stopped from entering the lands of the king there we are I could write the next Game of Thrones book no Song of Ice and Fire isn't it I don't know I'm confused by this man whose hat won't fit on I can't help feeling all that's really going to do is attract arrows but I do like the uh sort of dragon hairy dragon skull thing it's got on the top gets extra points nice molding anyway if you'd like to know where these figures came from here's a foreign version that I've been sent $220 Crusade night night stym and this is Sir Lancelot apparently slightly different to our version we seem to have a lower quality molded head than this detail ours look sort of quite pleased with himself whereas this one looks bloody horrified o o he's just seen the rest of his pose in the mirror and realized how he's going to feel in the morning I reckon Knights unequaled is the name of the game and the description on the back is longer than I remembered and what is it Medieval Europe Templar knights Knight came from aristocracy is that of professional soldiers from childhood to accept close combat training Knight whole body was wrapped brigandine in the thorax and abdomen thorax bloody hell if that's not a worry to do with um machine translation I don't know what is thorax an abdomen shoulders back and thighs and other parts a monolithic steel armor to build wore a closed helmet metal mask to protect the face and body mounts is also a suit of armor a scales good you would want B scale armor Knights of the whole suit of armor weighed £80 Vice okay they also apparently sto prostitutes thus Knights horses are specially selected varieties that can withstand an ARB Knight 300 I I of course being copyright of Apple Knights of weapons including a shield a spear and yibing wide ePay blade H Knight assault shield when the left hand pull right hand spear spear themselves caught in the armpit a powerful impact on breaking enemy positions and then unplug the EP stabbed nearby enemies made in China yep no [ __ ] Sherlock well um I like these bizarre 3D renders of the characters but yeah I don't really think they're going to be top of any children's Christmas lists but I tell you what is top of their Christmas lists expensive mobile phones and look here's a suitable case for an iPhone 5 that I P found in poundland and here's a sort of strangely gormless woman with a phone strapped to her head is the noise she appears to be making protects from scratches and dirt easy access to all buttons and features tough durable design yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah signal X it's poundland for technology basically this just a sort of generic case for your phone they're all very much like this in poundland quite a soft rubber fit around it quite well and do actually provide good protection which is something but I can't quite get over this massive and ridiculous yellow bow on the back surely it's just going to mean you can't put it in your pocket properly it's going to catch on things and eventually I was going to say eventually just rip off it's actually very hard to get off oh and is already ripped M your guarantee of quality actually the reason I hate this mostly is because it reminds me of the Keith Lemon film where the plot basically revolves around the fact that he sticks of lemon sweet on the back of his phone and some other stuff happened and the audience walked out literally that's not a joke um but yes there we are if you want to protect your phone and look ridiculous and be incredibly impractical at the same time poundland have got you covered and I'll tell you what else they've got covered the upcoming world cup with a new yep another range of original figures they can't get enough of them Pro footballer football Green Space for drawing your own artwork and a man with a broken spine and a football and a Bas fantastic nothing on the back whatsoever fantastic face is actually remarkably well done looks kind of a sort of don't know looks older than most footballers would got a little bit of an Elvis look to him quite like that actually compared to the faces of those bloody Knights it's fantastic anyway let's see if we can Unbreak his spine and get him to play us some soccery football stuff right uh I don't understand what that's for so we'll therefore ignore it he can stand on there like that chiropracty and um there we are thumbs up yes I can't really understand this one but I this base is clearly made for something else cuz it's got like a plin on it for something and there's a little hole for putting a flag or something and it looks nothing like grass in fact he appears to be playing football on green cobbles good for him but that pose he just it looks like he's about to trip over the ball he doesn't really know where he's going it's a very oddl looking thing yeah definite center of gravity problems there all sudden can we help that with your arms the answer to that is most certainly no oh well if your kid is really into football to the extent that he will accept anything that looks vaguely like a footballer that's exactly what he needs tell you what he doesn't need though this other design which I think is based on 1980s midar it's hard to say um po looking I don't know is the pose looking slightly better seems like he's about to fiddle with himself not toly impressed with that come on come on mij come out you may be the lead singer of ultrax that doesn't mean you can play with yourself on the football pitch uh definite problem with his hair there there oh look he's got like a beckam moan but they've kind of filled in at the sides but one side more than the other if we can actually show it to in Focus leaving him looking like he should be probably suing his Barber um so that goes on there that goes on there yeah and again he I suppose he might be kicking the ball again he looks kind of not particularly interested in it don't know about that move your hands up it'll be much better for everybody there we are his head's too small I just realized like frighteningly too small oh well this means nothing to me Vienna right what's next the answer of course is an Egyptian excavation kit sent to me from abroad with a rare n to five sad onions ooh a slightly more know how to describe that face sort of more Blank Stare than usual perhaps he's just horrified by the fact it doesn't say n to three who can say so I've been s many of these things over the years and I very R look at them to be honest because they're all pretty similar they're a lump of chalky stuff that you pull to bits and there's something inside we can apparently dig it out not um in the' 70s Funk sense but in this literal sense of getting a small pharoh casket type thing going on so I'm going to put a plate down I think yes told you I wasn't lying and therefore keep the so at least a bit clean oh good God it's got that green Bri International address on it ah as long as green Bri are involved we're all happy so that's that and here's the brush so you can go okay you probably shouldn't be using the brush yet I would imagine this is exactly how Indiana Jones does it I'm board already come on oh bloody hell I can't quite crack this one oh there we are that's got it uh so much for my keeping everything clean idea and here we are we've Unearthed it I imagine if you were a bit more patient you could probably spend a bit longer and have a bit more fun on that it's nicely painted and quite nicely detailed actually I'm quite surprised by the quality of the lump of plastic inside but here we are Tuan Carmon the ruler of the Free World or whatever the hell he was actually don't think it was a particularly free world in Egypt in that time was it frankly I can't remember the last time I saw anything Egyptian was that extra scene at the end of X-Men Days of Future Past well that's that then you can get all sorts of different things little dinosaur skeletons you have to put together afterwards but they all have the same thing in well the same thing in common which is they get horrible chalky mess everywhere and it's just not worth the effort to get whatever's Inside Out marvelous probably very effective way to smuggle drugs though there's a thought for you so next they're mongos they grinding their [ __ ] Grinders I've been sent so many of these over the years I presume this is supposed to be like a full price thing but somehow wound its way into every pound shop in the universe secret passcode inside log on to mongor Grinders docomond and games or as you've probably already guessed log on to mongor Grinders docomo figures from Wild Republic spark your imagination hands and feet hangs to board something well this doesn't have any hands or feet it's a freaking octopus yes I think the idea behind [ __ ] Grinders is their cool animals on skateboards and that's pretty much it and they're also called things like blowout which is a slight worry um meets the [ __ ] Grinders an outrageous group of skateboard buddies who share the love of Nature and a thirst for adventure these skate dudes first started out as fast friends looking nobody cares planet Earth is our only skate park treat it with respect or move to Mars the choice is yours so what these things actually like they actually look very high quality um so that could be extremely extremely wrong right we've got crappy plastic skateboard with [ __ ] Grinders written on it still sounds like some sort of insult maybe it's like an insult from Ming the merciless I don't know wasn't this planet Mongol actually and yeah here we are bendy figure with like suction cups on well I would say the hands and feet but it's kind of neither he's just managed to glue some shoes to himself and is looking very Ry look at that it's cuz he's so cool and radical man do these actually stick on oh yeah Works quite well he said one of them immediately coming off yeah that one well it vaguely sticks I'm going to resend that comment yes well I mean they're higher quality than most poundland stuff but I can imagine why they did end up in poundland I don't think weird animals on skateboards is really something that's very D to the kids at the minute but hey there's plenty of them we've also got this wolf wearing a backwards cap doing his thing with his snaggle tooth yeah nice waste coat mate and an elephant with a bandana which is again not a phrase I ever thought I'd be using weirdly the one I was sent the most is actually that giraffe if we look back here rocket the giraffe um and I can't find any now I can only imagine I've got like a cupboard full of them that I will discover one day also we had half shell the turtle Indie the Iguana Primo the elephant kick flip the Frog thing fakey the gorilla nose grind the Rhino backslide the alligator or crocodile I can't tell Bale the wolf OE the octopus boneless the shark shark really and blow out the lion well I can only imagine that was one of the least successful toy ranges in history which is why the whole bloody lot ended up in poundland but not like this quality [Music] toy oh yes fantastic I'm back with another fake robot specifically a robot converter three to collect they all look like whatever the hell this is um what were the three to collect right there's this one which apparently turns into a tank there's a green mess that turns into some sort of excavator and a crap truck that turns into an equally crap robot product and color may vary from photo great wouldn't you just include a photo of a bloody feret or something instead so these never ever end well oddly they don't begin well either so this is the robot apparently the cheapest plastic imaginable I feel like it's going to shatter under my fingers and that that's the head is it that look like a head to you yep that's got to be the head well it's where a head should be that'll do um it's got like a claw for one hand a claw for the other hand a bit of a stick which presumably will be the top of the Tank's gun or I'm very confused by this and now I'm going to have to try and transform it where I expect it to basically shatter into pieces almost instantly right that's a good start it's not broken yet um presumbly this goes into there like that there's like a hole for that little Peg yep there we are uh that goes up yeah this is all making sense is that oh yeah actually this is quite easy uh that was would then go across to here go on trying not to get my finger caught in it and there we are it's a future tank thing the tank doesn't look too bad actually as compared to the robot the turret doesn't actually turn because it's h caught on the side on that pig there so it just sort of looks like a tank as opposed to doing the whole rotating gun thing that tanks are actually for but never mind off you go to defend the world from Megatron or be Megatron I don't know I'm not going to limit your options and that's the lotr from poundland except no it isn't because wait for it oh God I can't find the box here we go found these in there absorbing water beads these things are fantastic I'm not going to bother showing you because uh my main mistake has actually already done a video on it it be much easier just to link to his which I'm going to do now I'm going to stop now but yeah if you can find those for a quid they're really good fun to play around with unlike everything I have shown you here today which frankly were a big bag of shite unless your children are really into skateboards and half human animals with weird shoes in which case Bonanza

Channel: ashens

Views: 728,120

Keywords: kings guard, football, soccer, heroes, knights, mongo grinders, ashens, review, funny, poundland, poundland special, mummy, fake transformer

Id: 0uLibaJS_7A

Length: 18min 16sec (1096 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 09 2014