Portal 2: Welcome to Aperture Labs

for over three years the Aperture Science portal project has been the cornerstone of our aggressive recruitment program thanks to portals we can weed out test subjects who when confronted with science may exhibit any or all of the following personality flaws cowardice impaired motor skills poor judgment fear of heights weights peasants bullets and fire now our marketing engineers have discovered a way to offer consumers a home version of the portal project for free use your free portal kit who measure the value of those around you and find a companion for the upcoming cooperatives portal testing initiative good luck Gabe Johnson here fact the key to any successful cooperative test is trust and as our data clearly shows humans cannot be trusted the solution robots then fire the guys who made those robots and build better robots then run those robots through a regimen of trust exercises creating a foundation of mutual respect reinforced by the simulated bonds of artificial friendship inspiring stuff and finally we put that trust to the test BAM robots gave us six extra seconds of cooperation good job robots gave Johnson we're done here these next tests require cooperation consequently they have never been solved by a human that's where you come you don't know cry you don't know fear you don't know anything you'll be perfect has chamber completed continue testing continued resting continue testing the two of you have forged an excellent five now it's time for your real purpose don't disappoint me or I'll make you wish you could die you're here because we want the best and you are it so who is ready to make some science hello investors Cave Johnson here now I know you've sunk a lot of money into the dual portal device but I'm here to tell you we're not banging rocks together over here we know how to make a quantum space hole Carolyn see earlier there look at this thing go now we have run into a reproducible human error problem a lot of expensive equipment getting broken but don't worry Cave took care of it gentlemen I give you the long fall boot think of it as a foot based suit of armor for the portal device I'm not gonna lie to you it's expensive as hell but check this out we told this test subject to just go ahead try to land on her now she can't do it good work boots so anyway we're between banks right now just make those checks out to cash Cave Johnson we're done here Cave Johnson here introducing the consumer version of our most popular military-grade product the turret how do we get so many bullets in them like this plus we fire the whole bullet that's 65% more bullet per bullet this is the same technology we've been using out of robots for decades scares the hell out of them they come in hundreds of designer colors including forests desert table evening at the improv what idiot picky then we box them up and ship them straight to your doorstep so you can protect the things that matter most just try and get close to that baby your fuel hey Johnson we're done here hey Johnson here this is a test chamber four walls ceiling in the floor good enough for science not Aperture Science gentlemen I give you panels the planks of tomorrow fully configurable infinitely variable safe aperture brand panels will assist your test subjects every step of the way that is not a panel that's a crusher when you sell them to Cave Johnson here every time I look at our test chamber production line I am reminded of my father now he wasn't a scientist just a simple farmer a professor of farming at the local farm College never farmed a day in his life but his theories on farming are the backbone of this company do it from scratch spare no expense and never cut corners well that's a corner cutting machine we obviously cut them their point is we've always done things the way my father did and his father before him and his father before him and his father before him and we are almost bankrupt so time for a cheaper approach allow me to introduce the multiverse Infinite Earths with an infinite number of apertures and as of now they are going to take over all test chamber construction and more importantly all paying for test chamber construction why are they agreeing to do that they're not we're tricking them here's how it works one design a test to slip the mole monsters or what have you the blueprint when they're not looking three once they build it steal it back look at that sad little octopus yeah that's where you come in we need blueprints we are about to run the greatest con game in the history of the multiverse and you are the bottleneck yes you get back to work thank you very much indeed it's a it's a huge honor this next test involves the Aperture Science aerial faith plate it was part of an initiative to investigate how well test subjects could solve problems when they were catapulted into space results were highly informative they could not good luck Oh in case you got covered in that repulsion gel here's some advice the lab boy gave me do not get covered in the repulsion gel all right let's get started thank you I can't believe I'm thanking these people for staggering your way through aperture Sciences propulsion gel testing you've made some real contributions to society for a change and for that humanity is grateful oh good that's back online I'll start getting everything else working while you perform this first simple test which involves deadly lasers and how to test subjects react unlocked in a room with deadly lasers well I'm back the aerial faith plate in here is sending a distress signal you broke it didn't you flare try it now you seem to have defeated its load-bearing capacity well done I'll just blow this plate must not be calibrated to someone of your generous yes I'll add a few zeros to the maximum rate we will break right away very healthy right now let's see what the next test is Oh advanced aerial faith plate I think we can put our differences behind us for science

Channel: Jam Jeff

Views: 2,593,059

Keywords: GLaDOS (Fictional Character), Cave Johnson (Video Game Character), aperture, Valve Corporation (Video Game Developer), Portal 2 (Video Game), portal, Computer Games, PC Game (Industry), Problem Solving Game, Game Trailer, Portal 2 Trailer, Funny Robots

Id: PgwbXg0nHvQ

Length: 10min 47sec (647 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 07 2015