𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗕 - Full Game

[Music] welcome to the Aperture Science competence Center for our most gifted employees I'm Cave Johnson and if you're hearing this you are exceptional now don't be bashful it's true no false modesty let's get started look at all those tubes stretching off in the distance every one of them is taking something important to a genius who's going to use it to change the world forever a genius just like you how are you going to change the world well that's up to you history will remember what you do here today do not let us and by us I mean all of us all of humanity down so congratulations you are about to take part in the greatest science Adventure at the greatest applied sciences company on Earth this is important work and you are just the genius to do it God gave you these gifts I'm giving you the opportunity to use them well here's your lab I don't mind telling you we're excited up here moon landing excited Newton Einstein wait a minute that's not right I think I put the wrong tape in hold on Good Luck world's best science okay here we go you in the overalls get to work or you're fired they don't give out overalls anymore anyway my name is Grady you can call me that I mean let's do introductions later you should really already be honestly I'm surprised you got fired already anyway uh you are a product inspector that is your inspection desk there in front of you you will be inspecting uh uh okay uh does it say anyway something is going to come down the conveyor belt whatever it is make sure it works once you've done that keep doing that that's the whole job anyway just remember the important thing is to have fun on your own time before you come in otherwise it's just I don't it's it's real bad here it's fine you'll probably be fine good luck [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] I hope you were paying attention because I'm not saying any of that twice look it's not rocket science it's not even toilet science here's everything you need to know see that light on the wall if that light goes on you're fired okay good you heard the important part wait wait hold on have they all been smoking you know what it's not our job to test if the toilet's on fire right just do your regular thing like normal move it down the line and then it's somebody else's problem you think your job's bad I mean do you hear that hold on I'll let me take a look yeah keep testing it can you get me out of here please thank you nope I'm just wet now nope it's working just test it get it out of here so first off I I think we're in a lot of trouble here now I also think we're going to be rich because I think you just admitted something okay here's what we are going to do I'm going to go work on this in secret just you go back and pretend to go back to work right like it's Gotta look good I mean just pretend the most you've ever you know what just go back to work actually yeah that works I'll be back [Music] foreign first off you did awesome pretending to calibrate all those toilets the best all right are you ready for this presenting presenting the Aperture Science Turf go on thank you for a spin controls are right there on your desk I mean right yeah and I haven't even shown you the best part here's the best part so I mean you're definitely going to kill yourself with it pointing at you like that so let me just turn it around all right shoot again don't worry it's safe I mean this time this time it's safe last time it wasn't you almost died ah you gotta have the Wings open or it just shoots all its insides out you know I should have made that more clear it's fine it's fine foreign [Music] wow holy moly man that is great oh man the turret broke that was the only one too but don't even worry about it because here's what I've actually been working on ta-da introducing the Mark II this is what I spent most of the six months on it was one month for the first turret and then like five for this bad boy oh man you gotta take my picture with this uh the desk should have a camera built into it are you taking the picture I'm posing for right now this is my posing face not my regular face okay good moment recorded for all the history books now for the fun part you are gonna take it for a spin here let me turn it around okay normally I'd walk you through everything but I think you get it let's just open everything at once and see what happens all right oh it's great I just thinks she's so good okay all right something else fell off you can still shoot everything else don't even worry about it okay quite a bit's falling off okay go crazy all those controls do something also some of the craters shooting at might explode don't worry about that seriously go keep shooting you're not doing this this is a structural engineering problem it's on me you're doing great I bet it's the glue I'm 99 convinced of that now it even looked cheap when I bought it I remember looking at like ah spend the extra dollar and yep here we are [Music] foreign wow all right that so some of the stuff I put on there just didn't work most of it like 90 or even higher maybe but some of it worked great so all we have to do is keep the great stuff and then we then we can so okay that's the police so one of us needs to streamline this turret right and one of us needs to take the fall for shooting up the warehouse because there this is a lot of damage and they're going to look into this which job which job do you want how about I fix a turret and then you take yeah I'll do that for it remember if anyone asks you don't know me okay don't say anything [Music] thank you hey well I mean wow you are the best thanks for keeping your mouth shut and doing your time I mean it was way more time than either of us were expecting I don't know what was in those boxes we blew up but they were wow were they mad anyway I promise you're not going to regret this now let's get you out of here inmates possessions are as follows desk one inmate must State their name print their name then sign their name after the Zone state your name into the desk moving on now type your name moving on now sign your name as a condition of supervisor early release parolee and death agreed to report within 15 decades hey don't listen to her you don't need to worry about reporting to your parole officer guess who spent the last 18 months getting his probation agent license through the mail yep me that's right I'm your parole officer I mean not just you I manager like seven guys on parole right now but they're basically reintegrated back into society well not Tony he's struggling a little but anyway that's all I was doing I got something to show you let's get out of here it is never too late to met you are both free to go oh uh bring your desk okay I streamlined the turret while you were gone introducing the Mark 3 ta-da so I got rid of all the parts that fell off and just kept the stuff that worked I mean it was totally over engineered so it just does one thing now it shoots it didn't need a satellite dish that was just dumb here try it on these appliances I found they were just lying around in the housewares research Department in a locked room it's just like the mark one left trigger opens the wings right stick to aim right trigger did you do it yourself it's like a is it a dragon holding a knife it's nice thing man that'd be so cool oh speaking of being cool I've got something even better to show you gyroscopic controls it's real easy just pick up the desk tilt it around to aim and keep that thumb on the right thumbstick and you shoot with the right trigger like normal go on traffic to yourself I mean that sounds pretty awesome in him all right everything checks out this thing is perfect I think we're good to go here so I was saving the best for last but while you were in jail I got us a meeting to show our turret to Cave Johnson that's right the owner of the company no pressure but if he likes this he's going to make us rich forever are you ready let's go foreign [Music] [Music] I know what I'm gonna do is pay off the money I borrowed to make this turret like immediately pay it off I mean I've been some real trouble Bless The Vig I'll have to pay that too does it make sense to you that The Vig is more than what I've borrowed in the first place it doesn't seem like it it's weird somebody overrode the controls hold on [Music] huh that's one of the appliances I stole from housewares oh geez it's got a gun it's an Ambler man he got that turret good huh good thing I brought a couple of spares they stole our idea and now they're going to kill us with it I mean it's not really an ambush anymore we know they're coming but I don't think they're gonna stop coming though we need to think of something else foreign foreign I got the elevator working again we have another 84s before we get to Cave We're not gonna survive 88 bushes in a row your desk should have some buttons on the underside those fire the rockets that got built into the desk they put those on their standard now for safety reasons here we go okay really nice work good shooting I think we're good from here they probably gave up I've given up by now okay let's go show this thing to cave also I do have one quick confession I didn't actually get an appointment with Cave Johnson I lied about that but it turns out I didn't know this it turns out nobody's seen him in years I did know it when I lied to you about our appointment but it was still pretty new information anyway I'm not gonna lie to you anymore I think he might be a millionaire recluse now so be ready for that there might be a lot of jars hello Mr Johnson [Music] let's just go in Mr Johnson are you here [Music] hey there it's me Kate Johnson no no not behind the giant head I am the giant head I'm gonna level with you a few years back I got real sick body riddled with disease I was a goner through every dollar I had at it told those egg heads hey Eggheads make me live forever now I know what you're thinking you gave the smartest Engineers on earth a blank check to make you immortal and this is what they came up with a giant head off by a mile no they figured out how to put my Consciousness in a computer that's what's in the giant hat their first plan was to put me hey hey I can't talk over the sound of you shooting me you want me to tell you why I'm a giant head or not right where was I giant head riddled with disease Eggheads immortality started with the small head ah now I remember their first plan was to put me in a regular brain size computer then they put that in a robot body and hey Presto Well turns out you can't fit an entire human mind in a computer that small all I could do was tell time and know what my name was so they kept making it bigger big enough to cram every last bit of me into this thing what happened to my robot body still under the head somewhere all crushed up couldn't support the weight so the lab boys put me in the big head switched me on and uh I don't know I panicked killed a few of them said I'd kill more if they ever came back honestly I regret that now anyway that was four years ago been trying to get somebody's attention ever since [Music] get their butts up here and end my suffering now don't worry about me it's been a full life but we're done here I mentioned for the next step heck I'm excited about it don't even think of it as killing me you're breaking me out of prison I'm just data now I need you to crack this big clay head open so I can spill out into the universe so what do you do egghead's got uh you uh you are in luck we actually came up here to show you our new invention good stuff let's see it show them partner yeah oh no what you were made of metal sir so shoot the metal it's working great sir it doesn't feel like it's working hey you see that I think that's his power source oh here we go powering down the great beyond well I'll give you two credit that is one hell of an invention you did it you figured out how to end my suffering all right suffering ended in three two ah backup power activated uh you're both fired I'm gonna need your key cards just lay them down in front of the head not too close to the chin or I won't be able to see him foreign [Music] it just occurred to me that the only person who knows Cave Johnson asked us to kill him is now dead yeah do you know what the punishment for murder is they told us and parole officer school you're not going to like this uh it's life your whole life in prison we should yeah we we should leave don't touch anything and bring the desk [Music] morning Charlie it's me Gary Gary your boss keep inspecting those toilets good work good stuff good hey it's just me Grady yeah just like yesterday man this Witness Protection Program is great I don't know why we didn't turn States evidence against those loan sharks in the first place we don't have to pay any of the money back we got cool new names I like yours a lot by the way you know come to think of it you think they'd move us to another state or give us new jobs or something feels like everything is exactly the same except our first names ah you know what they know what they're doing anyway see you tomorrow Charlie [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] foreign [Music]

Channel: Bolloxed

Views: 958,658

Keywords: Aperture Desk Job, Portal 3, Portal 3 Gameplay, Steam Deck Portal, Portal 2022, Cave Johnson, Steam Deck Trailer, Steam Deck Gameplay, Aperture Desk Job Full Game, Aperture Desk Job Walkthrough, GLaDoS, Portal single player, Portal DLC, Portal Mods, Valve News, Bolloxed, No Commentary, Aperture Desk Job Gameplay, Gameplay

Id: fo9mJZC5EEs

Length: 28min 29sec (1709 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 01 2022