Polygon plays JACKBOX | "The Ideal Male Body"

I have too many into hello everybody and welcome once again to the jack box games I'm Jack box and I'm joined by my dear friend on my left me Simone I'm Brian I'm Jenna hi I'm Ryan yeah Brian's our very special guest today from SB Nation you may know him from his work on the program weird rules and we've got one more person coming to us live over the Internet hey company live via satellite from Universal Studios Hollywood California it's Griffin live from Paul Hollywood it's Griffin riding on his back and it's so comfortable so much space back here smell like he doesn't smell like bread okay I mean make sense let's hop right into this jack box T t-shirt game so this is a game about making cool t-shirts you put slogans on them and you draw the art and then you mix and match and whoever is the best t-shirt wins just like real life it's also a great game because I'm bad at it and I get salty too I'm very fun to play with because this is an official polygon video and you can buy the t-shirts afterwards oh yeah huge money-making press so you're saying we should be focusing on on logos and branding for polygons in this game something that we can sell yeah okay okay yeah now Jack box does get a hundred percent of that money so yeah no necessarily if it's a great plan you can't brush artistry but I definitely did now we just get to write as many slogans as possible Oh as many as you can possibly write just as quick as quick as I possibly can okay so we're gonna we're gonna have to vote for which shirt comes up and I think if you're having a difficulty deciding which one you would you'd like more it has to be one you would actually wear in public that's yeah that's a good metric all right all right okay oh very hmm very artistic shirts here actually that is a beautiful lot of German yeah I really do like the aisles there this is legally where stuff here I legally can't vote for the banana one or else I'd have to bury my Twitter in the ground yeah true you chose the right you can't desert the banana though well it's either banana or like a weird hairy ocarina hmm see that's how we we get out of it without having to pay Nintendo yeah yeah I mean to pay nobody because that's clearly not a licensed care that's the ham man that's the ham man yeah man his property of Vox mediator did you use a ham stone on ham man he evolved as I guess the missed opportunities for a poor cat you keep coming let me tell you I don't understand what the broccoli and the one on the right is do it's a fart hmm I think at least that's what I was interpreting it as not that it's mine I'm hoping everybody has noticed the the fact that this this bear has just gone to the bathroom and has forgot to zip up the front of his overalls their gum ball sticking out there I wonder who made that our I love the idea of a shirt that makes a political statement about balloon boy in 2018 I just feel like we forgot to quickly yeah and it's just I didn't even vote for my team Oh vote for my own shirt there I also like that the political shirt conflicted itself right away it was like America we're sick of partisan nowhere we love partisanship that's why we have to get a t-shirt mm-hmm all right so I think we just we just draw one this time and then we do more slogans after that okay okay so perfect shirt so and again no words right no words okay yeah I did my best with the tools provided me that's all you can do really if we don't if you can't actually sell the one on the left on polygon calm so that's a very good job I would actually buy and wear that shirt see I did love that mediocre wife shirt rather the lack thereof I loved it too but I love polygons dr. Moore yes oh this is the hardest choice ever remember the what you would actually wear roll mm-hmm no [ __ ] I was given some good material you should sell that to Hot Topic sexy with five wives I like that yeah I like the sexy young Santa scx why why why why why because I got all my shirts keep getting burned up and torn and cut and destroyed that's the life of a shirt though it's true they just have a shorter one than others might thanks Pat that's a good shirt but I voted against my own shirt I love that [ __ ] skeleton it's really good skeleton the slogan the slogans good and it's a good match up but that skeleton [Laughter] [Music] it's maybe like a snake eating it that's also what Dilbert is that's splits so I can't eat the way this game all right now it's just a matchup of the two top ones oh man what was the first one this is the ideal male body that one's not going anywhere this is the Tuffy maybe that's enough action it is not search your soul I just like the ideal male bodies pointy little tiny little legs like minions Shrek kind of like if the two of them kind of got together yeah winnie-the-pooh Wow Wow that's a rough one King uh I feel good about either of these winnings he is yes that's a good so that's that game is that game is weird cuz it can either be very very funny or just produce a great shirt like or it can make it really great shirt some ql um I actually I've got a run cuz I got this call ok ok so Griffin had to run to do Griffin things so we're gonna continue with so embarrassed by all of his shirts getting burnt up and and cut up that he had to leave you would think they would give the unused t-shirts to the needy and actually all of the idea know all the shirts are being printed at Jack Fox central and all of the ones that they don't don't win they do put in a dumpster I mean honestly though what what needy person would want to wear one of those shirts they didn't win the prize well you do you still have principles and standards yeah you've still got a style and that style might not involve an off-brand Pikachu are we doing any rules today well yeah ok let's do let's do one word answers so you can only respond to your questions with one word ok great ok what if mine specifically tells me these three words gotta find a way to make it work oh you know that quit flash feeling where you think of a better answer after you submit there's got to be a word for I know that feel I think that's the lash part okay so the odd thing to discover upon arriving in heaven Tuesday nights are Oh Temple night pimple popping night or hell night I mean pimple popping night sounds really good which wouldn't be surprising but heaven is full of good things yeah pimple popping kind of depends on how you do it and I don't want to get into details I love that stuff yeah you know what we're not here to discuss the intricacies of the best part about being an 1800s fur trapper did funk exist in the 1800s what he's a different kind of funk you're thinking of funk the music I think this is actually where it was invented we all agree coding we all are because two people were five right now she explained how babies are made in three words [Music] [Laughter] [Music] very good I'm a cookie impression I'm just I've got a slightly raspy throat today hold I'm ready I sound exactly like Cookie Monster start doing cookie I'm gonna start doing cookie on this next one the worst part about having a boyfriend cookie now what's the worst part of having a boyfriend who's secretly highly advanced robot it's weird how they insisted on putting toes on this highly advanced robot object to rust an advanced robot wouldn't have rest Ryan possibly I know that yes you are in the highly advanced robot you'd never know unless you looked at my toes damn got you there you are always wearing slips some sorry life advice is never trust paradox do never trust like the PowerPoint slides are like slides on a playground that's up to you London open to enter all all sorts all sorts the electric slide yeah never trust the electric slide only trust the hustle or funk sorry have you heard that great piece of trivia that when you watch old sitcoms hear the laugh track that's all actually just me just replicated hundreds of times okay I hadn't heard that I really believe it though we're all here on the same we're doing the same which several one one-word answer we are not forming coalition bonds a brand name of a patriotic line of diapers hey you said exactly a cookie Masterson americlaps wow that sounds like the like an alternate universe follow up to American Idiot like if they just kind of double down on that like social commentary Green Day [ __ ] oh yeah [Laughter] stay lost in the skies to just quit lash baby yeah conspiracy aliens are real and they are thick pretty hot and tempting yep I'm with you Brian conspiracy is there among us and they are thick after killing Hitler the second thing you would do with the time machine [Laughter] thanks guys I really liked cuz that's maybe more true to me but was it louder the verb or flan with a little mermaid character well I don't want to get too much into my fanfiction but you know your house is too big when you have a room specifically for you made this very hard yeah sure did out of out of principle thanks for your support Jenna I mean it makes sense to me more than smaller houses do you feel me smaller houses very quick answer was that a criticism yes so thanks Hemingway oh I should not have voted for be taking off the the one word rule right here depending on what this is yeah I'd say so if it is a calm equip answer without looking at it there's one specifically that really appeals to my worldview and I really appreciate it you get three answers the thing I like about that Jena is that you made the exact same spelling here that scott Fitzgerald me relatable feel when you do the same misspelling far and away that hit anyway based humor kills with that every time I appreciate I'm glad that you did a Hemingway in the last one cuz I feel like that drew the fire off me like people did something for me okay so yeah this is what we're doing finish about you one more time so we're gonna tell we're gonna learn things about each other so we are all entering we've all been given a prompt we're entering an answer to that prompt and then everybody else is going to make up a theoretical answer for another person in the group mmm Naomi boyos lied about eight times since entering this room so pick one of them hmm what's it gonna be choose one this one has a lot of layers because it's a question about lies no lies on top of lies yeah right so the last thing that Jenna lied about was Oh actually some of more of these are true than the one I am actually there are more truth than lying so Jesus board I'd say I think I intentionally chose a wrong one okay I didn't do great this time no damn that's such a queen yeah I do talk about my flossing habits a lot so good too good to be the truth yeah dare you my talents are wasted on you all right at least I got five points I do make a lot of excuses so probably what about a lot of them are probably true whether or not you think that is the case I'll let you all know that I used to the word I in this so you should use the word I if you're don't don't put it in third person put something in Austin also now you have to use I thank you for blowing up our spot yeah sorry about that [Laughter] everybody knows that's not the answer now though Brian oh no no I can't I I have to money in death hey goddamn and Ryan all of the relatable feels yeah yeah Wow what did you feign mono with uh just just the the entirety of my chorus at one point I thought I was getting sick and then they were like oh but we're doing something and I was like I have mono and then I had to stick with it for a few days so I was not it was it was a bad if anyone's watching this I'm sorry I never told you that I'd never had you're also not supposed to make out with someone with mono so you kind of like I'm never looking to make out with people Ryan we're antique is the stream that we did the other it was it Bernal yep go out to the burn out stream to learn more about polygons anti kiss agenda now I feel like as Pat's roommate I have an advantage here here's the thing as people know specifically what I did five of these are almost exactly correct yep if my answers are not right I'm gonna very impressive whoever wrote it goddamn it now good job cuz that did happen yeah there's a box sitting in our fridge right now I did tweet about Pacific Rim for approximately three hours before the bridge oh my god I probably spent five hours of mental energy thinking and talking about Pacific Rim this week into it I like every single one of these goddamn right also actually notice that that's the someone's not old enough to have one of those and you should well dear Kavya should have been that the gameboy color was not a consoles handle an Australian Shepherd Doberman Pinscher mix oh nice I can see you getting really excited over corncob pipe that might have been the answer I wanted to be true Jenna yeah it's a tough I really look good I'm really looking forward to see these Simmons okay okay so Ryan's the towering inferno like oh man this immense elation is some insulation Wow formula X Brian I do want to know what yours would have been if you hadn't gotten it in in time and can't remember good job Simone Thanks just got to keep that house warm the two people actually know about wrestling in this room it's just a tall tall it's a tall person thing yeah yeah I guess he can't really tell him the stream but yeah he's Ryan Bry up at the top yep it's just separated by five points a rye bride matchup positively-charged just stop Simone just stop I want both of these to be true yeah [Music] yeah there's these are both very good responses we're we're winners no matter which one is true you split right down [Music] my years later I visited his future burial burial site in New Orleans which is just a giant white pyramid Symone again did you not read that they one of them has to be false yeah this is this is really kind of I think I think I have an idea I've got a choice you're obviously a weap master of whip tricks oh my god again I'm I'm willing this one into existence whether or not it's true I want one to be true but my heart knows that the other is probably true the one time I try to do a whip trick I whipped my own ear nice you whipped your own here yeah did it hurt yeah really bad where do you guys get to do with tricks by a whip and then anywhere oh you can just do the tricks anywhere oh my god again I want one to be true yeah I feel like I'm okay don't worry well the ones have been tricky but that one was pretty one of them seems more noteworthy than the other as a child I was just imagining what if it were the thing where the glasses popped out and then a bird landed that bullseye oh they're always waiting came out came out of left field yeah I guess it finally paid off so that's another jack box in the can thanks for watching if you haven't already sub smashed that [ __ ] like button I'm Patrick Gill I'm cookie Masterson hi I'm cookie Masterson SB Nation's cookie Masterson and make sure you check out Ryan's stuff on SB Nation's YouTube channel it's really fun and funny and I was actually on an episode of um we're rules weird rules it's not about us a soccer ref who knocked scored a goal intentionally because you can do that in soccer it's pretty [ __ ] cool anyways have a good Papa John's bye so subscribe to YouTube what a clean signup

Channel: Polygon

Views: 429,809

Rating: 4.9547219 out of 5

Keywords: quiplash 2, jackbox, jackbox lets play, quiplash, t shirt tko, tshirt tko, tko, ryan simmons, patrick gill, griffin mcelroy, Simone de Rochefort, brian david gilbert, Jenna Stoeber, polygon plays jackbox, videogames, video games, polygon, quiplash 2 lets play, polygon jackbox, you don't know jackbox, tshirt jackbox, jackbox shirt, best, secret base, ryan simmons secret base, ryan secret base, tee ko, jackbox tee ko, jackbox funny

Id: 8pRX7MMGIPQ

Length: 27min 29sec (1649 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 31 2018