Podcast #98 - Playing Nuclear Winter

ding-ding-ding-ding-ding - Jen Jillian podcasts we are back we are good Street guests but now we're back now we're about yourselves we can make it this episode's generally marked as is brought to you by headspace get some head space right now with a guided meditation on the headspace app go to head space.com slash generally try to take ten program and do ten days of free guided free guided meditation anywhere you are shut them thank you add space the other sponsor this week is bowling branch guys all your luxury bedding needs for affordable prices go to there you that's a little better bowling branch calm use promo code Jana Julian who was that I don't know sorry I started messing with the audio jacks was a bad idea yeah 20% off when use promo code Jenna DeLeon polar branch makes amazing bedding the softest ever anything you need huh put a ball and branch calm we sleep on them all the time and then except when we wash them and then that's the worst day of all the days yeah cuz I'm gonna be on yeah thank you to our sponsors thank you sponsors so if game we have a game today well first can we talk about that we're having a celebratory beverage right now because we just spent so much time like redoing our backyard and it came out amazing and we're like we're happy and we spent the bulk of the last two days going out and getting stuff and assembling it and putting it and cleaning out there but it's kind of turned into a really wonderful spot and I'm really proud of it yeah seriously we debated podcasting outside because like sucked yeah the a/c is really loud like knowing no easy oh my god we turned off the 80s a/c though while we both can't speak so congrats on being in my club yes people oh there's tons of stuff outside that like there's construction there's birds as the dogs and the squirrel that [ __ ] squirrel our neighbor cut down this giant ass branch today because well kept running across it we're like thanks fam yeah so you know you'll see more vlogs out there now you'll see you know I was hanging out Mars it's a livable space it's so amazing and we really really did it we did we invested some time and some money into it because we really feel like you know we constantly feel like we want to like go on little staycations for the weekend whether it's like Big Bear or whatever because it's just like a fresh place to hang out outside or wherever and we never do that here and so now we have two [ __ ] hot outside in a system where there's an umbrella for the show you have an umbrella so you can go hang out there and like use your phone without going blind yeah and in the the table we got doubles is like a mini fire pits so we can sit out there at night it's called awesome yeah enough of us bragging about all right oh my god we have a really cool I hope it's gonna be really cool and fun I have high hopes this game by the way I'm drinking Firestone IPA they made a gluten free [ __ ] incredible sake so um this was suggested on my facebook and I was laughing pretty hard because it's a fantastic suggestion it was suggested by Joe Bama for Rica on my facebook we're gonna play a game called nuclear winter yeah where you write down 20 people just 20 regular people occupations we did it sorted by occupation and then you write down I think we end up we wound up doing 21 actually as we added one wild card in there but uh then you write down 20 characteristics so and in this hat we have the characteristics and in that fanny pack we have people people every let I didn't realize they're both findings but so what happens is you you pair them up with each other randomly and then you have to pretend that you're in a bomb shelter that only houses us and ten other people so these sometimes good sometimes bad people are going to be paired with sometimes good sometimes bad characteristics we have to decide who we're going to keep in our bomb shelter with us to survive the apocalypse nuclear winter hmm so so you wanna get going five we might pretty funky we're going outside in our new backyard yeah no it should not just peaches toy graveyard anymore she is or anybody else have a dog though that brings their toys outside and leaves them out there and ruins them thing great bring me toys inside you naughty you got kind of creative with these characteristics and uh so when we break we'll pick them and then break and then assess yeah okay so then we have to debate who we're gonna keep and who we're gonna lose okay all right I like that all right do you want to do the characteristics oh yeah I'll do characteristics all right make sure they're random they're in a hat they're random make sure that way how do I make sure it's random don't look you can't look like I'm here at you got one yeah okay I'll read the person first and then the characteristic so the first person up for debate for our nuclear bomb shelter is a nurse oh okay okay a nurse who has four puppies that they will bring with them whoo that's a good kid right there okay so I'll put them together there's these are gonna blow away cuz that fans a nurse with know they want the pet the fans pointed towards me so you're safe Hey look at it it's gonna blow away eternally you're not gonna blow it hmm but thank you also forgot to say actual thank you to the person that suggests this because this is [ __ ] exciting I'm excited all right second person I'll draw the occupation get in here are you ready are you ready are you ready oh okay supposed to get all that hot up in here a ventriloquist who is also a veteran zombie prepper oh that's really good and oh that's valuable though a veteran zombie prepper is valuable yep okay all right let's keep going I'm already huh Julian come on my name's King don't be in dramatic look okay a chef who choose with their mouth open oh that's bad that's that's not good okay all right I mean it's ironic a little yeah but whatever I'm gonna mix them all up want to make sure they're good all right you ready yep a horse just a horse a horse who won't stop lighting their own farts on fire a horse that won't stop lighting their own farts on fire it's pretty [ __ ] amazing heard you damn good but like you could ride them for entertainment all right we will debate them later we'll debate Emily so we do all 20 and then we pick 21 huh yeah little bit you ready yeah are you ready DVD BB EB become okay a pregnant woman who is really sexy oh it's I underlined it like a bunch though it's really sexy you know this could have gone so much worse a pregnant woman because we had some people in here that we shouldn't be calling sexy really sexy all right my sexy prank that sly cat thing right people have like that fetish yeah I mean there's a fetish for everything it's true it's true that table is looking pretty damn high that take yeah a horse that is really sensitive okay all right a marine Oh a marine that has a truck full of guns food water and other supplies I'll bring that's it definitely oh oh you know that guy in your bomb shelter that's like an easy way to survive right yeah that's a good lay up we already know what we're doing with that like how did those two get together I don't know that's Kista completely [ __ ] random sprig all right you can't read yours until I read minds film a homeless person who insists on having a cantar kumbaya sing-along every night before bed that's actually pretty good oh okay insists on having a guitar kumbaya sing-along every night every single night every [ __ ] that every single everyone got in a fight doesn't matter tonight we're doing Kumbaya that's right foreign people could be starving to death and he's got to play the guitar would be dead okay a police officer what just a doctor oh no we [ __ ] it up you got to put this in here we got to shuffle it and sir okay take another one please guys we done [ __ ] up the masturbates at least greater than or equal to eight times a day and no one can ever say [ __ ] cuz he's a cop oh okay Oh guys guys greater to or greater than or equal to eight times a day so at least eight mm-hmm oftentimes more mm okay all right a teacher quiz scissors for him okay that's good how does she teach the children hey kid oh my god all right you don't want to be in timeout oh my god hmm you [ __ ] you don't we need I'm Irina don't cheat boy don't a boy me boy if you don't okay all right can you an architect who has a Mensa brain okay famous actually Julian came up with that one who has a Mensa brain well what do you call it when you're when your Mensa a member of Mensa but you have a Mensa brain I mean I suppose it's a prerequisite to being a member I suppose I'm right too I suppose Oh how many is that so far that's ten ten all right we have ten more to go or it better be good okay thank you Ethan h3h3 a pop star who sighs complains and says well what are we going to do now in every situation believable well what are we gonna do now like I would follow okay we're gonna do came up with that characters I noted it I came up with both of us okay ready you read it beforehand you cheated that's not cheating cheater God you can't do that that's double cheating you already saw what it was I think this is it you are Jillian Janice stop you're making this worse than it is I think this was it 60% a masseuse who makes an offensive amount of the office references every day gee I wonder who that was inspired by I wrote that because I'm you know I love you but it's a lot of office references when we get married my entire vows are going to be the office reference was that an office reference in and of itself are we gonna walk down the aisle today in it forever we're gonna escape and go on a cruise and Niagara Falls and then come back to the cruise okay then half later outs a little boat goes under the foot gene you have seen the wedding and the Agra sauce is that the maiden in the mist or whatever no one from Rochester ready for our wedding at Niagara Falls oh my god no I'm gonna get all wet yeah I can't wait to get all dress up and like put my fake eyelashes on go get soaking wet you'd be been beautiful Buffalo New York you won't get wet married not even a good side of the falls Canadians I'd better do it-- you ignorant [ __ ] okay anyways a botanist okay who is also a severe and violent alcohol that's funny pairing like that that was a wrench in [ __ ] look good they just hate botany so much that he just [ __ ] me got it every day he told me you just got it [ __ ] take the edge off there's like beautiful flowers everywhere and holes in his wall everywhere he argues with the plants all the time ok pedophile wait what do we mess them up we do we put two Patamon this isn't our we did two pedophiles no pedophile is a characteristic not a Morrison sorry guys we keep [ __ ] up it's probably peaches fault it is sister alright alright sorry a convicted felon by the way guys happy fourth of July today's the fourth of July oh yeah cuz holy [ __ ] it took us this long yeah so it's so the fourth yet but for you as for happy for enjoy this treat as a 4th of July celebration that's crazy we forgot to say that in America Bay [ __ ] America Bay independence of America pendants alright I have a person convicted felon first-degree murder who thinks they're also a psychic that's good oh okay I like that okay all right can you imagine though okay we'll talk about it later is no keep it movin keep it movin bum oh bum a lawyer who's also a rapist Oh God a serial rapist serial rapist okay [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] is right these people are [ __ ] all right ready mm-hmm a mechanic's pedophile okay all right okay okay fix cars and also touch kids okay what I'm staying at ice you you actually wrote I think my Roth IRA mechanic it feels so weird no does why is my beer spilling did I oh because I moved it sideways I'm a [ __ ] idiot or did you put it down no I moved it sideways to like get it under this thing and that [ __ ] it up hmm well you better drink it should chug it mm-hmm you still got insurance you do not you you did it I did now it's on the chair and the whole thing about it there's actually a blurb on Wikipedia the beer that spelled on Julian's head I'm such an idiot sideways Ireland the mayor luckily is heavily addicted to meth oh my god he's he's currently mayor and he's also currently a meth addict yeah cool welcome wherever we are hmm Oh a doctor okay soluable person who's triggered in claustrophobic situations Oh God so brutal cuz we're in a bomb shelter ah [ __ ] Oh men we're all gonna die of horrible diseases here lies your penis okay yeah a seven-year-old orphan who pretends that they are a cat that's such a good kind pretend that they're a cat yeah I definitely don't want that orphan around here they might be entertaining all right we'll talk about it we'll get there we get them we get there we'll get there maybe we'll get there all right you'd be a musically star who has two invisible friends party Winkle and Olay that they will be bringing with them oh my god the worst person to have in your box but not the worst like imagine them just like maybe a copay la they don't use their labs like cell phone battery for anything like they're the only one left with okay last one yeah a rocket scientist who doesn't stop asking you to subscribe to their YouTube channel this game is stressful for a lot of reasons but I think the main reason why it's stressful is because we're stuck in this bomb shelter with no good bedding but you could have good bedding because you could get some Boleyn branch sheets for your bed right now guys go to Boleyn branch and check out their selection of awesome sheets Boleyn branch cuts out the middlemen that you don't have to go to a store you know off - I mean mattress stores sheets stuff like really getting online haven't shipped you are from Poland branch they deliver incredibly quality materials you'll sleep on it for the first time and you'll realize like I mean how do you describe like what the Boleyn branch sheets are just the different level you can't go back risk-free for 30 nights you traveled 30 nights you don't like it get your money back that's how that's how it works I'm confident there yeah Boleyn branch just go online a bowl and branch calm that's bol and branch calm use products code Jana Julian and get yourself some sheets and then take a selfie on the sheets and then send them to us because we want to see your new sheets not be clothes though yeah well any clothes send the nudes to Jenna I'll take the clothes buying the bedding from them is really really good send me your nudes I love you they care about you but no free shipping guys and you know be shipping they're so comfortable that they've graced the beds of three former US president presidents and countless others yeah I didn't know that three former US presidents have slept on Bolin brunch guys that's greatness it's actually yes that is cool that is cool yeah 20% off with our code anything you guys are getting sheets towels blankets duvet covers everything on the site 20% off when you use Jenna Julian at bol and branch comm check it out and let us know what you think next sponsor guys headspace I've talked so much about headspace and how it really is something that you can't replace right now like the way that they make meditating very easy and they obviously guide you because it's got a meditation just to take you out like I can't tell you how many times where I just want I like pop in my headphones and I'm like 10 min 10 minutes that goes by like in your normal day 10 minutes goes by so fast but if you just stop for a second it feels like a great long relaxing 10-minute break that a lot of times whether you're you know whether you're at work or you're you're doing work or you're with whatever you can take ten minutes and turn off and have guided meditation with the headspace out to help you really reduce stress and anxiety those are two real things that a lot of people go through including myself headspace is a wonderful tool for your daily life you can try it 10 days for free guided meditation you just pop your headphones into your phone tablet computer wherever you are go to headspace calm slash jenna julie and get started and download the free headspace app guys i'm telling you you will be hard-pressed to find something as good as that and as convenient and easy to use also as effective as the headspace app so thank you to headspace response for the podcast guys coach at thank you sponsors you know what just totally sidebar when you're talking about that I was thinking the other night that I wanted to look it up when I was little I had a cassette tape that I bought at this store down the street from where I lived that was called the angel shop and they would sell all these little like angels and like little figurines and like just weird angel stuff and I bought a cassette tape from there that was just a woman speaking with like some rain sounds it was like it sounded like a cigar and I would put my put it in my Walkman and fall asleep to it and she would talk to you about your guardian angels and where they are and what they're doing and that you imagine yourself like sliding down a rainbow with your guardian angel and stuff it was really adorable that's sweet yeah it was but it was like doing guided meditations sort of but not really virgin and headset I wouldn't call it meditating but every single night I wanted to listen to that it was like the best like even if you did that like app or something like that you're like I want to take ten minutes and just listen to this yeah I mean it's like if you did time it's a great way to turn on it's incredible like go to sleep - um yeah that's that's funny I like that sorry thank you it's cute all right enough about you back to the nuclear winter I love you okay um we have to narrow down ten people that we definitely want to take with us we are both going to be in this so this is like we don't each have our pick this is a dual pick we got a we gotta figure it out so definitely the marine right off the bat lean with all the supplies that's a no-brainer so the person congratulations to person number one the Marines just complete given the Marine that has a truck full of guns food water and other supplies that they will I mean think of a more tailor-made perfect answer but it's our first person it rise you're good yes now we need to debate we're keeping so in a bomb shelter you like some people who are good with like materials that you can find anywhere right like the botanists the mechanic like what what do their deals again okay so well yeah the most important people like the doctor like we really need a doctor doctor but he's triggered in claustrophobic situations the nurse yeah we could take the doctor or the nurse because it's like they've immerse there's four puppies that they'll bring with that but the nurse is not a doctor like they don't have the skills a doctor I mean they still go to medical school that's just saying you know that's true they go to medical but the there's a reason that they're a nurse not a doctor they haven't put in the time the years and years years of apprenticeship for whatever to get to being a doctor so in the bomb shelter no they can't because they're in a bomb shelter not Medical School good try though residents I'm trying to think of like in a situation when you're in a bomb shelter what are some typical injuries that a person who is in a bomb shelter that cannot leave would have maybe a blast injuries blast wounds yeah right things like that radiation radiation cause I'm just scared of a nurse trying to treat all that like that's something a doctor should treat a nurse while they are very ja fire-type doctor is gonna be claustrophobic the whole time what we can drink are you can leave like a corner a big space Ecore nur of a bomb shelter just for the doctor and no one can everyone that corner and what is this what is triggered mean we can just give the doctor some headspace we don't have we don't have headspace because the only app on our phone is musically okay that was not established you're right you're right um I think I'm I'm in favor the doctor I wouldn't want to get like a nice desert or puppies that's for puppy you have to feed so they're so fun and companionship and all that but you have to feed for extra that's that you're feeding you could eat for pumpkin ham with them are young so you say doctor over nurse I mean as much as cute puppies are great and as much as nurses are amazing and hugely necessary to the world on a daily basis I'm gonna go with doctor I'm afraid that there are going to be things that a nurse cannot help with where a doctor could and the puppies are just extra mouths you have to feed yeah but they're so change we're going with the doctor all right nurses out nurses out doctors and because we need the dog doctor is in alright Fox [ __ ] say okay so we got marina doctor we got to think of like well the marine probably is good at building [ __ ] with what he has he also has supplies so maybe we don't need like a like the architect or the mechanic because we have the marine with his so the mechanic is a [ __ ] pedophile I know which wouldn't be a problem if we didn't take the pregnant woman or the orphan or the musically assuming that the musically star is likely a child okay let's buy - lets we definitely want the lawyer either he rapes people what but like what about the chef that chews with their mouth open that's a kind of a chef is someone that we'd really like to have true but let's we should we should get we gotta get all the people that we need first I feel like we're doing that no the lawyer is a raid we don't need a lawyer regardless it's a lawyer why would we need a lawyer in a bomb shelter no it's very true but I mean they're smart they are smart but they're also someone who has sex with people when they say no they're out they're out goodbye oh boy Tyler shouldn't make people what if we got doctor and rapist and nurse and pedophile that'd be fun we'd be funny but I'll die of all meetings okay um the teacher or the police officer about these people is architect let's organize these okay the rocket scientists is someone who won't stop asking you to subscribe to they should take we should take them I mean that's pretty valuable because we're gonna be annoyed but we're gonna be annoyed anyway from everything else like no more spots we gotta be careful here rocket scientists they could also be annoying as [ __ ] they are annoying they ask you to subscribe to the YouTube channel but to be perfectly honest if a rocket scientist had a youtube channel I would probably want to subscribe to it and also once you subscribe to it they they might not stop asking or no they don't they never stop have they never stopped asking well we're kind of accustomed to seeing people non-stop ask people to subscribe anyway it's like survivor like sometimes just cuz you're really smart great doesn't really mean that we want to live with you that's true it's a good point let's let's put that off okay the architect has a Mensa brain oh yeah we should take him she's probably annoying in the Sun but we should take him yeah we should take him or just take you so so far we have the marine with all the supplies the doctor who's triggered in tight situations and the architect who has a Mensa prayer who we're gonna try to calm down all the time I will hold off on that the all right I'm sorry at least your birthday will be going on the mayor who's currently heavily addicted to that okay so who was it would come running going through withdrawals you know I agree and he's he sounds like he's corrupt as is and has no regard for his job title and that he probably shouldn't be using meth regular yeah no no I'm gonna say no because he's probably a real [ __ ] he sounds like an [ __ ] he's in a position of power and he's like a complete drug addict that's not cool not what's not cool like that's not all right he's out the mayor is out good you good yeah he's out good bye what about the sexy pregnant woman can we talk about her I feel like she's a dark horse that we're gonna leave to the side for right now okay matter cuz she's sexy I mean so am i but we have really affection really like I underlined again um what's the deal with the chef he chooses an awesome mouth open okay or the bomb shelters that shit's gonna echo and AH mechanic that's a pedophile I don't think we yeah I mean what are we gonna need a mechanic for that architect and I'm orangutan your honor or we don't have the rocket scientist we don't have the artisan architect the architect in the marine could probably like we have no cars you're gonna work on we're in a bomb shelter like what what like seriously what could a mechanic MacGyver down there that could somehow help us I mean you never know but no I'm asking and asking seriously I don't know I don't have an answer for that what could he could he somehow engineer a way to like dig a different way out of the bomb shelter that's not the way we're not trying to dig our way out we're trying to live in it stay in there or we're trying to find a path to a place that we couldn't get before that's not the point of a bomb shelter well the point of a bomb shelter is to shelter yourself from a nuclear winter so you have no need to ever get that's really ok alright new nuke drops and you're in your bomb shelter eventually you want to leave no you live there for like 20 years and then you leave until the radiation when you leave you got to think about what's gonna happen then just saying no yeah but you don't have to tunnel your way out there's a way in and a way out yes but what if the Wayne and the way out is like completely dumped with bodies or [ __ ] aliens I don't need a mechanic to help you get out I'm just I'm just posing the question ok Wow generally doesn't like mechanics does the felons deal again the convicted felon also thinks he's a psychic or shoes that sounds annoying handing I think that there is psychic that sounds kind of productive on like five different levels now you kill people and he thinks he's a psychic or she hmm this person is an unstable we can't we just can't why I got to be a guy we can't have you what's the orphans deal um the orphan percent okay see that is something that I might actually want in my life like you have zero entertainment and there's a little child know but there's also like you know you can't be a seven year old doctor this is a young person we need younger people to I'll live us in case we have terrible radiation poisoning but I do they forever pretend they're cat so like yeah they're like 40 yes let's take that so chemically no this is on the maybe pile of in any minute we have to get all of our like our hard things out alright well knowledge knowledge teacher okay see got the teacher has scissors reading okay here's my thing at this I don't think this is necessarily bad it's not bad my hands is like my favorite and he's so nice yeah so I mean if she's like that I don't really see I also teach tolerance to deal with like people that are different than you who is that teaching tolerance to the seven-year-old cat yeah I like the teacher with says I think she provides character to the group she uh you know alright but we giving her a spot though I see maybe but I'm Cheikh also give us haircuts okay yes yes and she has scissors like that's a huge variable but she also can't like do it so she has the knowledge she can teach us and we'll do the rest mm-hmm and she'll give everyone haircuts for free haircuts freely right sweet tonight four out of ten marine doctor architect teacher mm-hmm all right sweet um the botanist that is a violent severe and violent oh but here's the thing though if we're gonna be trying to grow anything down there they might be very helpful yeah and like the withdrawals will last for maybe like a couple days a week at most and then and no that is not true alcohol is the one term so explain how long do our all what is a withdrawal it depends how severe right so if they die we throw them out whatever but then we've wasted a spot yeah but they I mean we have a [ __ ] seven-year-old cat so like the spaces aren't super side that yet that's true um let's keep him in the maybe pile and just because I feel like hell I feel like if he in any event he survives his withdrawal right and it doesn't like kill another person we have a botanist well how do you know that he's not going to grow fruit ferment it and get [ __ ] loaded on it all the time if he's if he's a raging alcoholic that process is way too slow for his addiction but like fermenting alcohol you're gonna be in a bomb shelter for twenty years and there's no alcohol down there plus we haven't established that there's no alcohol in the bomb shelter shelter if you're that much of an addict but if he's a functional alcoholic let him ferment the fruit and get drunk then he's a functioning person had everybody Oh is he in violence yeah let's keep them in the Navy pile we may be able to work with this okay the teacher mrs. R so here's the box you're gonna hit the teacher with scissors for you you'll get [ __ ] up here's the thing we can't have them count any time if I'm really in the shelter which I am yeah I'm gonna go to the botanist and be like hey bro we'll be friends alright I'll sneak you some alcohol I'll figure it out hold on how you gonna expose in group to risk nine it'll be fine because we're cool and I'm bigger than him and he doesn't you don't manage it you don't reach it to you don't know any of that he probably should he's probably a black oh he bought kill everyone hey I'm gonna go befriend him and give him alcohol make him happy and then learn as much as I possibly can about basic botany skills and then teacher kill him let the teacher cut him up a little bit oh my god and then we have a new botanist a new botanist okay I feel like you could absorb information for the I feel like botany is like I must have in a bomb shelter your [ __ ] bomb shelter you need bomb but what's really gonna grow in there like we don't have the supplies you grab some soils [ __ ] put it down there and figure it out [ __ ] what's doctor mean absolutely no farmed on the moon on Mars okay I didn't see that movie at all to grab soil you're in a shelter option Marcia Kramer Julian this episode of general Park ass I hate to the point of the shelter is that you're not exposed to anything but the shelter itself one you can't just like go grab some soil alright so well somehow we fit a truck down there cuz the marine just brought his truck it's just supplies ok so there's got to be something he can alter okay our Sarna whether it's like a MRE right or something whatever there's something that you can grow [ __ ] with okay okay well alright here's one other thing if he's that much of a drunk no what makes you so confident that he can actually teach you anything about botany he's a functioning alcoholic we didn't decide that he is a severe and violent alcoholic what if he decides I was ready like plants grow no waters um we wrote severe and violent alcoholic alright can we keep him in the maybe and decide later I like the botanist now a peeper maybe alright let's decide on the police officer police officer who masturbates no no less it does no but he's trained and skilled or she or she much prefer a semen meaning interested and a guy actually that'd be really loud girls are I think they're both there's no upset there's no winning with this card right now mouth yeah how come you can't do that in a pond definitely not okay like where there's clearly like maybe only one big jam room get out eight times a day every day get out get out now goodbye that's a no confine I don't care if it's like the hottest pregnant woman okay we go masters good yeah I'm not guess she might just slide in here okay yes you might just be left over yeah okay with the masseuse what's their deal um the masseuse makes an offensive amount of the offering officer yes I mean imagine imagine even your relaxation of getting massage all the time down like you're at a bomb shelter you're like am i of on Twitter and I don't resort yes person what is your she I can't tell I'm getting massages everyday moving about you and saying you know little time people that is my bet is literally my heaven that's when I die and go to heaven someone massaging me in making options bronzes PIPA oh that's so relaxing when you say office stuff PIPA ah PIPA what's your daughter's name P P I mean this person isn't absolutely no so that's it I will not give you a heart no I'm sorry I will not agree tonight so maybe pile yes you're in a bomb shelter and someone is trained professionally and massaging you that is the most single most stressful situation you can ever be in nuclear winter and someone's there being like hey what can I work on you today your upper back and what about your legs your shoulders what hurts let me fix it while I make jokes about the best show ever created so you can have great like memories of the most amazing pass time when life existed put them in the shelter they're amazing really alright this is your pick I'll give you your pick all right I'll take the masu right you get the masseuse see the masseuse where's last time you had a massage that shit's [ __ ] amazing it hurts oh my god it's that's probably cuz they weren't making office Reverend sister relax you're not that's five we're halfway there we have the Marine the doctor the architect the teacher in the masseuse and this person has scissors for hands yeah but we're going to learn so much dude it's like schools in session all the time how can you imagine if she was your arts and crafts teacher six fan okay let's I think we have one the okay we can make a decision on them the horse that won that won't stop lighting their own fights okay here's why here's why that could happen now here because he's fine no he clearly has a means of lighting fire he has to have a lighter or a match which could be used in other districts like you said with the botanist we've clearly already sort of prepped this shelter to have somewhere to grow food and food to grow so clearly we would have a [ __ ] down starting fire I mean in terms of like entertainment that's like that's top-notch [ __ ] in terms of functionality and well-being that's the worst possible scenario it's like when he stands up feel Highness your head and he just burns all your hair off all the time and your eyebrows all gone he could light the whole bomb shelter on it was like what would happen though if he lit the doctor on fire with this fart and the doctor can't treat himself who's gonna treat him let's keep him in the maybe maybe maybe five guys good okay let's do uh homeless person Kumbaya I'm pretty sure no that's gonna smell and be annoying the home you don't know that homeless person insists on having a guitar kumbaya sing-along every night for a bit I think after three nights this person would be dead to me I can't maybe dead IRL I'd kill them guitar I cannot no no I'm gonna have to say bye-bye to you I'm very sorry you're not coming in no you're not and leave your guitar oh yeah while you're at it um okay here's a good one the ventriloquist who is a veteran zombie premise Sambi prepper like that's pretty damn helpful but they're a [ __ ] ventriloquist it's so annoying okay but you're literally in a bomb shelter with nothing you know have your phone except for the musically so that's our show every night show but is that better or worse than a guitar kumbaya every night so much better you think so could you tell him to sob kind of stuff because the kumbaya guy thinks he's actually like being spiritual and helpful well really he's right we wanted to gather Oh God he's like the bad Ron on Parks and Rec I do not want that guy I say yes to the veteran zombie prepper yes that's such a huge feature and you know the ventriloquist thing like there might be other uses for for that skill other than just performing like like he's clearly really good with his mouth hand-eye coordinate and mouth coordination you never know where that's going to come in handy sounded really dirty when I said that I didn't mean it like that right we got he's a guy he's a great economist we got six all right just a review ventriloquist who is a veteran zombie prepper marine with all the supplies doctor who gets claustrophobic and triggered architect who has a Mensa brain teacher who has scissors for hands and a masseuse who makes an offensive amount of office references every single day all right some if four more how many are not the maybe pile yet are they making issue okay a pregnant woman that is really sexy definitely definitely a pop star this person is like the real okay the pop star size complaints and says well what are we gonna do now oh and every no version of that no room for that but they could sing for us or can they know they're busy asking what they have to do anyone who is gonna say that sentence ever let alone every single time that they talk what are we gonna do now plus we also can't assume that since she's a pop star or he's a pop star that they actually have any vocal abilities for music a pop star does not necessarily have absolutely I say no you know I'm with you goodbye goodbye we have four spots bye yeah we have all right so the musically person that has a two invisible friends we basically get rid of three yes we have to get rid of either the rocket scientist who doesn't stop asking okay the rocket scientists that doesn't stop asking you to subscribe to the YouTube channel is really not the worst here's why I like them because that they actually have a youtube channel useful they're useful but they're also like not completely ancient schooled rocket science like they're clearly in touch with the internet and the new-age so they're not annoying right even though the internet was just destroyed doesn't matter then it's the knowledge and the way they act life that they were used to I say we take earth keep the rocket scientists so now we have seven I'm gonna say no to the horse what why please leave it leave the horse maybe pal um the chef's that choose with their mouth open not the worst that's kind of Awesome but I'm only winning in an age where the entire family is dead and everyone you ever met in your life is dad in the whole world is ended that's like not a problem any kid hey cook cook but like we only have a limited food supply do we even really need a chef I mean if you have like limited food supply a chef is the most important thing cause he's gonna make that limited food taste so much better than a wooden yeah maybe know better how to ration our food yeah and also probably he can like be a second teacher and help us with our nutrition I say we take all right we'll keep the ships I agree okay so YouTube's knots all right for a woman right now we have a really sexy pregnant woman a horse that likes its own farts on fire musically start with to make-believe friends he severe and violent alcoholic botanist and a seven-year-old orphan that pretends they're a cat here's why I think we need the botanist no I just make an argument why don't we just cut to the chase and keep the really sexy magnet when at some point we are going to run out of food we need to be able to cultivate food we have to or else we're all gonna die we have a zero tolerance policy for violence in this shelter you'd be dead you don't have a zero tolerance policy its policy for anything if you're dead you'd starve to death he's the one who's going to keep everyone alive if we can everyone can team up and be like how do we keep this alcoholic from punching everyone and functioning how do we give them enough alcohol to function and how to limit him to what if he decides that he's pissed off and he like snapped it reserves it supplies drunk or she's dropped to take one he creates food when they create food you make it so that you have eyes on them so they can't just [ __ ] wreak havoc you like you have to get drunk and create a fight that didn't even happen and decide that they're not gonna grow any food for anybody anyone that's not a problem because that whole that whole scenario you just described wouldn't have existed because everyone would be dead without him pancha a botanist is unless they're like a [ __ ] child rapist I have to take a botanist all right fine then we only have one more spot here he's your problem Oh or she your problems I gotta be a guy you I just said or she why you gotta be a girl the botanist that is a severe alcoholic yeah enjoy enjoy your potatoes every night that you dick up here doubt of the no that was your argument to keep the chef is that the chef will know how to make that these two together we're gonna be eating [ __ ] gourmet [ __ ] yeah who's gonna get their mouth open and the other one's gonna punch that one in the face it'll be terrible oh my god we're gonna eat so well I'm like excited for dinner and I know mm-hmm the teacher with scissors for hands okay make sure she's all right for us he can we just get rid of the musically person they're gonna annoy the [ __ ] out of right the one that has two invisible friends named like periwinkle delay they're crowding our space all right two invisible friends and their music and they already used our emergency phone to make them musically and then ask everyone in the room why it didn't post yeah and I and also got mad at everyone because there were no legs on it because everyone in the world Deb and what the Wi-Fi password is [ __ ] them okay we have a horse the only one spot left right yeah but the choice is pretty clear all right you know horse that one no sexy-ass pregnant women yeah but what about the seven-year-old or you're always talking about cat you're always okay here's here's my argument do we want a sexy pregnant woman who's sexy will be pregnant have the kid and continue to be sexy likely and have a young child who is probably also a good-looking person when they grow up or do you want a kid that acts like a cat for the rest of their life it's cute for now but not when they're 30 no no in there like anything about 15 that shit's annoying hmm right I mean think of it so we're keeping the sexy pregnant woman and she's having a baby so that's a another kernel cheer we get husband and then we get another mouth to feed which you said was on existing mouth to feed how do you know cuz she's sexy he's falling on his head so the but then we have 13 people in our bomb shelter that's an unlucky number yeah us too yeah Oh unlucky out the whole world is already obliterated what much worse luck can you have but you said we couldn't have four puppies one baby compared to four puppies you're not gonna eat nearly as much as those giant dogs and um how do you know they're not for chihuahuas doesn't [ __ ] matter because the moms gonna die and the kid's gonna survive eventually all right yeah and she's sexy ah yeah are you jealous that I like the sexy pregnant women Jenna no no no I think she's specially to she's really really all right so let's go over I find a list all right all right so we're saying goodbye to a [ __ ] horse thanks I don't want your cyber farts on my [ __ ] bong shelter oh but it could have been so great it's funny but then you have a fire farting horse in your mom's butt we can write em we're just in tiny circles lighting everyone by I saw I saw a video of a horse like kick someone when they came up and startled them and that shit's [ __ ] brutal you know it's terrifying and we also we said goodbye to the 7 year old orphans and pretends we love you but sorry no cats ah alright who do we got left read your 5 and I'll remind the Marine who has a truck full of guns food water and other supplies that they will bring you're in the shelter the doctor who is triggered in claustrophobic situations is in our shelter the architect who has a Mensa brain is so clearly in our shelter and not problematic by comparison the teacher who has scissors for hands is in our shelter and the masseuse who makes an offensive amount of the office references in a day is in our [ __ ] shelter also in our shelter is a chef who chews with his mouth or her mouth open a pregnant woman who is really sexy we are rocket scientists who will not stop asking you to subscribe to their YouTube channel a botanist who is a severe and violent raging alcoholic and a ventriloquist who is a veteran zombie prepper I would say we did ok and we'll probably live a decently long time considering the resources we have in the people we picked I think we did good yeah but that [ __ ] violent drunk is gonna kill us all no we have a Marine he can handle him ok he's got a gun he's just [ __ ] about the gun do you know could I kill them really quickly is the horse that farts fire yeah that would have been a disaster it would have been amazing yeah enjoy having [ __ ] fiery dead people because you're even cook our food with this [ __ ] yeah all this food smells so good and then this [ __ ] horse fire farting and it suddenly isn't so damn appetizing it's funny until you're hungry and your food is fart right right when you go to sleep he's like I love you baby good night oh you're lit on fire by a fart good night you're dead wow that was a great way to die Wow if you could get over the smell the concert you could get over this yeah [ __ ] right I'm not getting over that smell okay all out all [ __ ] off myself I'm going up to the radiation buy any more dark and close like bomb shelter and it smells like horse farts lit on fire any dump so literally drowned in his [ __ ] in like a woman but he's such a good friend oh and you can write and can't argue with that [ __ ] you and she just like [ __ ] all over the room as far as what okay again think about this phone he would have no tail because only been gone so but it got like lit on fire a long time ago okay I'm so glad we don't have a fire fighting horse goodbye horse I think we did get that this was fun this was really fun this is thank you sanely fun our friend of our from for suggesting this game this is brilliant we love games like this for the podcast if you guys have any games this is what suggestions we will absolutely read the comments and and hop on and do the game because this was great well I imagine anytime you play this it's completely different that's true you can I can play this again - we could do round juice is really [ __ ] fun um but thanks for tuning in guys are tuning guys you want to be with you as much as we have fun with there guess it was fun I know we on the podcast we do get carried away like excited to have guests on believe we also really cherish the time just having our Dan Jay podcast this is [ __ ] dope this is done ideally you guys enjoyed it thank you headspace for sponsoring the podcast guys go check out headspace comm slash Jenna Julianne download the free app and ten ten days of free guided meditations links are in the description also with Poland branch that's bol and branch comm promo code Jenna Julianne 22 sponsors thank you to sponsors guys go check them out they make the show completely free for you guys today also we are currently in the process getting the podcast on other platforms soar like Spotify things like that so we are working on it we are in the process we've heard you guys that you want to listen on those things we are working on it so just so you know you are being heard also happy fourth of July there is currently a sale on our merch store right now there is jenna julienne podcast our and click merge thursday and we are July freedom sale for you freedom sales or trade deals all sorts an awesome merch the sweet Kermit shirts everything you guys might want they are on sale right now due to the 4th try so go check them out yeah we love you guys pretty much as fun as that was it was really fun right I'll see you guys next week bye

Channel: Jenna Julien

Views: 619,737

Rating: 4.9475102 out of 5

Keywords: trick people good looking boyfriend girlfriend, julien and jenna, julien solomita, jenna mourey, mourey, jenna, marbles, how to, trick people, good looking, the face, face, vlog, jenna and julien podcast, jennulien, jenna marbles podcast, jenna podcast, youtuber, tutorial, kermit the dog, kermit

Id: y_WriBUj8yc

Length: 53min 56sec (3236 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 04 2016

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