Podcast #83 - Honest Company Slogans

flights camera dink dink donk dink donk dink donk donk welcome back to the Jenna Jillian podcaster anchors taped I sprained my pinky you sprained it it's brain did it almost broke it really hurts oh my god welcome to the Jenna julia podcast julian has sprained fingers yeah buddy taped them together buddy to buddy since night ah thank you guys for joining us for another episode of the genuine podcast this episode is brought to you by i bowl and branch get some of the softest bedding duvet covers towels scarves yes from Bolin branch guys Bowlin branch cuts out the middleman they ship it directly to your house and they are a great company that fights human trafficking they literally take proceeds of their sales and put it towards fighting human trafficking great cause great company great people and obviously a great product for the fraction of the cost of other bedding and luxury softness out there so go to Bowlin branch calm right now and type in Jenna Julianne as your products code for 20% off your purchase also brought to you by me undies me on these some of the dopest underwear out there in the game right now this is some of it right here sweet ass designs micro modal fabric which is twice as soft as cotton guys that is no joke you wear that on your fly it is legit that was on my butt except it's clean I cleaned it for this go to meet undies comm / Jenna Julian for 20% off your purchase guys me Andes is sick ball and ranch is sick thank you to our sponsor thank you sponsors on Belle ba on the blog I'm wearing a scarf how I look warm in the neck I am one in the neck well I'm so happy for you I'm happy for me too yeah to be look as if it yeah it matches yeah it does you look great today I'll say that you look wonderful Thanks you're welcome well we are back up in this podcast room to do some podcasts in about what are you asked yeah you're supposed to like come in like this is Wow okay well it was a suggestion on Twitter it was at like the verb Mallory washing asked us for one of your podcast you all should create real slogans for brand / products and then tweeted us this picture that said Pepsi is Pepsi okay which we thought was really funny because roll we control again there's a lot of room for funny jokes and discussions in there so what we're going to do is we're going to take we actually prepare this you know beforehand but Jen and I are gonna take our lists of brands and we're going to give you what we think is a trolli or an honest slogan yeah that we would make for the brand based on what we feel like the brand gives you fun done as a customer yes for fun times because this podcast is about fun it's about talking and but it's mainly about the fun Wow good Center thank you I don't know where I was in the middle but I finished I got there so lady in the beautiful white hat yeah may go first yeah yeah that's right good my first one is Sephora makeups Narnia makeups Narnia I also wrote come with your wallet leave without any money left say goodbye to your boyfriend and your afternoon and that's all it's all accurate makeups narnia it's pretty right now yeah they just have a closet door as the front door right to Sephora any walk in and they're gone for the lion and snow and you think you've been gone for like an hour but you've been gone for like six days my god that's horrible United being in a Sephora for six days Julian that's your hell that's you're definitely not done that yet what have we not been there for six days in the room I feel like we have Wow no that was like 10 minutes Wow Wow Julian see that's why it's Narnia your time is reversed exactly you're you're 10 minutes feels like six days and my six days would feel like I mean boyfriend's am i right out there girlfriends are right out there sitting in Sephora holding that [ __ ] little mesh thing you will ever have to hold the bag I always have to hold the bag I think that he secretly likes doing that I don't I don't I don't even at the shittiest of malls I'd rather be in any other store especially because and this is great because there's gonna help but like they asked 50 people asking for if they you need help like no I'm just holding a bag so you don't even need to talk to me ask her but she doesn't need help but they really do there's so many employees in there there are a lot of employees it's crazy man that's probably my dream job you'd be so good at it it would mock what Tommy did you want to buy this because if I don't because I'm you get on here by the way guys oh he's he's wanting to his beard he shaved his beard because just sort of like trimmed it I didn't shave it to the skin I did like a deep mantle I got what squat I go like a nice little shape I feel so much better you do it was bugging me less hot in the face let's hide the face that's it she in the face yeah mm-hmm you like had grown it out nice with your beard oil and brush I did I can condition it I watch them broken he's been brushing his beard I wasn't fooling anyone I literally logged it I feel fooled deceived I feel the same on two Apple Apple one no oh yeah Apple we probably don't need a slogan you'll buy it anyway oh it's too real it's too [ __ ] real that's good right yeah it is good yes Wow all right Starbucks first world coffee I have a Starbucks one day that's nice your Starbucks what Starbucks [ __ ] your name wow that's really good okay so for those of you that know who Rome is her name is Rome Australian Rome like the city in Italy Rome and so she goes Rome sort of like says like that as a horrible impression yeah so she has a weird name and a weird accent it's not weird it's a drum realm yeah but when she says it it sounds rim to be fair it's a pretty short name so they should be on it so let's tell them what some of the names that they give her arm arm was my arm they literally wrote arm a RM arm or Warren Warren Warren Warren I run run run I call her like all three of those names top arm salon hmm thanks a lot arm thanks arm thanks arm bomb thanks Rome bomb Rome Rome bomb Rome Bhama or o bomb rome wasn't good enough it had to be Rome bomb Rome oh my goodness all right lays like the chip company lays lays we like to look at the bag half-full Wow cuz they leave like half the bag full oh boy waiver it's so true though it's so frustrating when you're like getting all excited because I really like salt and vinegar chips yeah they're really [ __ ] good no tank they're dank s bomb ass day guys bomb ass jeans and the bag is like half full of chips so they like to look at the bag half full not the Glock okay but like even okay if you buy a big size one it's not as bad no it's only it's another small ones so little one little one like $0.99 bag of look you just want something bigger there's never you never know because they're all my chips yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] man why is that uh you know I don't know they like to look at the bag half full so I know you're looking at half empty but they like to look at it as half full it's not your face is twitching stop doing there could be face mm-hmm all right I got one ready yeah Victoria's Secret let us measure you even though you've had breasts for over a decade every time I go in there if you start looking at a bra they're like oh do you need to get measured I'm like [ __ ] does it look like I need to get do I look like I woke up with these titties is all you say they just are on say like some of them and they're just assumed that you're like an idiot and then that you don't know what your bra size sizes how can I not know what my bra size is to be fair they are experts no not you're right they're not they're not at all oh my god they make me frustrated though too I like their sterling I'm not gonna lie those drawers it feels like you're in a big closet you just open the drawer and you take the underwear that you I mean that sounds creepy I'm not in there alone but no it's a cool layout like you're like oh what sighs all right let's go to the third drawer down yeah it saves a lot of space - is it nice but yeah that's [ __ ] so I'm just like I've given into the oh do you need to get measured thing a couple of times and they should go you're nice I am I feel bad yeah but they're probably bored at work I just want to measure some teddies anyways but like thank you alone of all people like if I go to the mall chances are I'm probably wearing like a sports bra and they'll measure you and be like oh you're like 34a and I'm like [ __ ] don't you know I'm wearing like a compression bra right now like that's not the size of my boobs this is why I don't want to get measured because you're wrong you should know that's what happens when you wear a sports bra and they don't care then they're like here let me pull some bras for you I'm like please don't cuz that shit's not gonna fit on my titties mmm-hmm Teddy's Teddy's this is a passionate issue for you art that's not it does epistles meow hmm I'm sorry like shouldn't I be the one to measure my own boobs you know you should do with a measuring tape you need a way I don't have a sports but this is what we need to next time we go to Victoria Secret just bring a measuring table when they say can we measure you be like only if I can measure you I'm not a start measuring that's actually a good idea we should do it mmm I like since when are you certified as an employee of Victoria's Secret to touch my boobies with your hands this feels like the girls ooh I didn't open the grub seal for you this feels like the grubs ooh mmm I don't like that Oh Tori a secret the grubs it is open all right that's a good slogan I was good swing high go ahead sorry I digress yeah now that's that's good all right Slim Jim have a good road trip oh it's too though yeah everybody's eating like that's when you eat a slim jim just like when you're traveling every road trip that's what it should say on the slim jim oh that's cute though if it did say that they just want you to have a good road trip I've good one oh you know while you drive it's one-handed I love functions I like when if you're eating can you eat slim jims you can't I cannot eat slim jims I don't know why I said loves limbs but I love those pepperoni sticks made by [ __ ] don't even like the same but the slim jims I cannot hate because it has no um my favorite is when Julian's eating a beef stick of some kind or a turkey and like our I've done this in the past when I used it eat beef sticks you'd like take a bite and then the color like that and feed it to the dogs like oh yeah like a bird yeah cuz you can't just like let him bite it you got a bite off we're cousins but you don't put it straight in their mouth no I got it I like spitting in their throat Biggie's go oh my god cause I'm not marbles though he refuses to see but no he buries it he's too scared in the car what you got next client um Bob's Red Mill get frustrated by our bags oh that's true hey they're a great company but yeah their bags like how am I supposed to open them and not spill it all over the place it's so frustrating like the only reason that they have those bags has to be like to keep their costs down or something well it could have something to do with the preservation of gluten-free products being in a smaller bag that might be something to do with maybe not it doesn't have to be a frustrating bag no that doesn't excuse that you could make a little zip locks at the top it's look for those of you that know ABAB dreadmill is there like you know in your baking aisle or whatever they give you these like the size of a brick of cocaine it's like in the movies outside of us it looks like that yeah but like yeah they're just little bags so then once you cut it open like unless you get a rubber band and then you [ __ ] but as you go through the bag yeah you can no longer tell what product is what product yeah because it's all cause it's all rolled up yeah and it's like say you open a brand-new bag and you take a little bit off when you're rolling it up it just spits out flour as you tie it up yes it's such a there's so little room to actually fold but we have like a lot of Bob's Red Mill because they make a lot of gluten free stuff yeah I know it I finally talked drooling into getting those like plastic storage containers because you we have so many of those little [ __ ] bags we can't tell what's whatever you do yeah nobody happen let's get some glass mason jars yeah you want to do tonight yeah great can we run to the store real quick all right hold on I gotta go get some mason BRE okay all right boo boo the guy from Shark Tank still likes to talk about us for some reason oh my god I [ __ ] fired Wow but it's FUBU wow I am still like yeah like it's FUBU like that's a big deal but why are you so like touted its FUBU wow wow wow wow ok ok for anyone that watches Shark Tank the creator of boo boo Damon Damon Johnson right John is it Johnson Damon Damon whatever Damon he's on there and leaving the rock jam when they do like their intros they tell like who's who and I'm sorry I just I'm feeling good yeah I'm sure you know I'm going but they say like who's who and how they made their millions of dollars and why they're here like investing and stuff and so I was like Damon who the creator of FUBU and and Julian just starts like dying laughing every time he's like dude nobody buys FUBU anymore like why are you sold again I get that but I was also laughing because uh whenever we're watching Shark Tank we always left because Robert always getting through Robert gets [ __ ] every episode he like he tries so hard to like develop a rapport with the person who's pitching and he's so nice and he always ends up trying to give a deal but then he gets like outbid or like teamed up on and it's just like poor Robert like none of the participants ever pick yeah never pick him even when he's got a great deal they like choose other people with the same deal like one of the Sharks will take his deal and then make it their deal yeah the person would be like done deal and then it's like but it's and then it cuts to his face and he's always just like it was God the Michael Jordan face on he like perpetuates it though because he he's like he gets he's a little bit petulant he like it's offended by things eggwin when people ask him questions or when one of the other sharks like throws a little jab at him he'll like really get sad and it's like wait dude you got it like have thicker skin you're you're a shark like he's so sweet John some some skank Julian will just start cracking up well because it happens every episode like every single time so funny ah well you know at least Daymond created FUBU that's I'm saying like is dope 15 years ago what like what happened it's it sounds like Sean John yeah it's exactly like Sean John it's like I feel so bad for people that Judy ever burnt Von Dutch like that fashion changes it's what you asked for a couple these like really popular brands they like it really popular and then all of a sudden everyone's like yeah we not win away that anymore remember those [ __ ] trucker hats you work so cool if you had a Von Dutch I had a pair of Von Dutch jeans that had like thin like a giant embroidered like patch on the back when said Von Dutch and but they were beautiful jeans and I had them for [ __ ] years and they were awesome I loved them I'm not positive I have to verify this in my mom or something or my journal and you keep a journal but I'm pretty sure I had a fake Von Dutch hat they say cute you sleep yeah like at some point you have to stop wearing it because people are let do you sugata trends just go away and it looks like it's crazy that that that happens that way but that's how it is like it was so cool and now it's so not ruthless ruthless savage savage and savage a half girl where you got a next girl okay KFC chicken we think question odds brutal brutal Mars man brutal Mars Wow if you don't like my puns get out of the pun kitchen Wow podcaster just B's called Wow oh by the way I have in one of my tag lines there's one office quote and you have to guess which one it is but I do know I can't even believe that anybody watched or listened to our podcast last week so I'm talking about Pham that's ridiculous it was just me like being frustrated you living I was living I was living as dope Oleg is amazing Oh target almost as fun as Disneyland at like a third of the price oh that's actually true I think I had a target one too do you want to hear my target one target oh we can't go to Walmart it's okay but target is like a fun place to be it's like I just like don't like when we want the shame just to just go kill time go [ __ ] look around yeah sing some music walk around when I was hanging out with him before we made a video and we went to like Toys R Us and targeter I think we went to a bunch of places that he went to Toys R Us huh yeah and he was like let's just go get a PP and I was like what the [ __ ] is a PP he's like a pointless purchase then you go oh my god something stupid and then you'll get like that's me inspired by just being in an environment with lots of things you've never seen before yeah target is great for pts distresses pointless iYou know what chain is me I am Shan Shan is the letter le let me okay so my next one I don't want anyone to get offended by I'm offended alright if you attend this specific institution don't be offended by this because I joke and I have plenty of friends who go there but it's well known that this is the thing so here it is Planet Fitness no dead lives allowed but pizza parties every Friday because because they don't allow deadlifts and that's my favorite lift of all time they don't allow they literally don't allow deadlifts if they see you doing deadlifts I've seen plenty of stories all over mostly the fitness subreddit but a lot of places on the inner you cannot do deadlifts at Planet Fitness even if you're not hitting the weight hard on the ground why it's a judgment-free zone it's too boisterous I don't know they have their reasons but yeah I mean once you don't allow deadlift you're not a gym oh oh [ __ ] oh yeah so that's why I'm that's why I'm making that joke cuz I mean maybe they do now but I know that they are I'm saying with the bar if you did it with like free weights you deadlift like dumbbells yeah after not touching the floor but they don't want weight touching the floor I don't know I don't know the reasoning I don't know the the exact rules and I also know that they do have pizza parties at Planet Fitness that makes no sense yeah I mean like I said I'm not judging if you go there that's cool I heard a lot of people you know a lot of friends out and go there and still plays for everybody yeah I need to be doing my deadlifts and also like it's a weird principle to like ban a certain lift because and I feel like it's directly tied to their like judgment-free zone thing like they just assume everyone doing a deadlift is just a [ __ ] troglodyte throwing weights all over the place when really it's like it's a great exercise yeah with the bar and the weights touch the ground and you can do them quietly without offending anyone yeah oh you know what I bet if I went in there and did some quiet deadlifts maybe someone that wouldn't say anything to me but if you went in there and put five [ __ ] plates on both sides and started doing deadlifts you would get kicked out so fast I mean are you intimidated don't mean just because you do it heavier deadlift that you would get in trouble and I wouldn't that's strengthe strength this that's totally strength astone lee because you're doing your lifting too much weight for to be a plant fitness yeah that's a judgement yeah it's judgment time you're supposed to be the judgment free zone are we supposed to be able to walk around in my underwear all over Planet Fitness and not be judged especially if it's Mandy's I'm supposed to be able to come in that's me any dick out and [ __ ] deathless what I want dick out no shoes Ditka I will dick out but and eat mousse on Friday mostly I should be all the dead oh my me undies and no like you missed it you missed it you missed it I totally do that transition and you were busy saying dick knees I know you guys caught that I don't have a dick but if I did it would be in my me Andes oh you don't know Wow never make that comment and that noise back to back ever again guys got me Andy's hottest underwear in the game right now everyone's got is seriously they come up with new designs every month they have different designers that come in and design these really really cool pieces for all their underwear and you can go online and go to me on these calm and see the selection it's really really dope and once you wear your first pair you understand what it means when it's when they say it's micro model fabric literally twice as soft as cotton you don't understand what that means until you put them on and you just feel outstanding you're missing the whole you're missing there it is keep it go I can hear you okay yep so guys check out me and he's go to me and he's that's M e undies calm / Jana Julian get 20% off your first order and then take a picture of your underwear you don't take a picture of your cellphone or maybe just a picture on the table and tweet us because we love when you guys do that that is awesome also bull and branch guys I can't stress enough how like amazing this company is as a whole they really really put time effort and their proceeds into fighting human trafficking which is something that it's a it's a problem that a lot of people just don't like to think about because it's so horrible right but me I'm sorry Borland branch really focuses on it they're a mom-and-pop company they treat their workers amazing and they have you know products that they bring you high quality at affordable prices and uh in my opinion when you buy things from a company half the time I'm buying something from them and I'm thinking about what the company stands for so if company is if a company is great customer service I'm proud to buy stuff from them if they have a good image or if they donate to a good charity I'm proud to buy stuff on them it's not only about the products by the experience and Boleyn branch has that completely covered I have a conscience they have a conscience and they cut out the middleman guys I don't know if you're going still want to the store to buy sheets but that's old news get it shipped directly to your house cut out the middleman with Bowl and branch check it out right now see their selection go to Bowl and branch comm enter product code Jenna Julian and you get 20% off and by the way those sheets are so soft next-level butter net they're butter you sleep in butter and you maybe you wake up all greasy just kidding okay but uh thank you to our sponsors sorry for done missing the transition cuz I wasn't waiting I wasn't finished letting Jenna you're done telling her this bit anyway mmm whose term it's mine I'm speaking of which but not our bowl and branch sheets which are forever saying on the bed but the sheets that we got it the next place that Bath and Beyond doesn't beyond I paid a pretty penny for those and they're not agent you know your shoots are supposed to get like softer when you wash them and you know what a golem branch yeah but are the ones that like I paid a lot of money for cuz they're like the high thread count or whatever like I feel like not getting any [ __ ] softer they're just getting Tanner so Bed Bath & Beyond I should have just gone to balloon brand is that they're slow yeah yeah okay Bed Bath & Beyond for all your needs and totally non needs but once you're here what's this oh my god what's that also Christopher Walken one one time worked here remember that and click yeah you got the click record I'm doing a good office references don't high-five me with that little [ __ ] finger see little buddy fing go touch it I'm gonna take them and I'm just gonna squeeze them till you feel it you're gonna hurt my hurt thing give it to me I'm gonna bring my finger oh she loves taking like the dogs arms and he does this thing where you pretend so he's like say this is not I gotta go mmm and I pretend I'm very gonna make that noise because I'm sick I'm too aesthetic I like what you do it took my because you just the lays there like that's gonna cut up put a little wrist lock on mm-hm propel water still for some reason to thing oh my god what's like the company that makes that I think it's Gatorade there's a gay day oh no I've saw it on the Shelf recently and I'm like how the [ __ ] is this still a thing yeah a disgusting and if I'm gonna like if I'm gonna really like take the plunge and like sacrifice sugar and carbs for a drink which I will sometime so there are a lot of occasions where I love Gatorade like intense types of workouts hangovers I love Gator on but why would I why would I go that far and then have something tastes like propeller it's just so that yeah if you have a hangover and then you drink like a hickey oh my god it brings the life back yeah it makes you feel alive again and live again and then love engage and why that's why you engaged to me engaged to me that's great English are you ready for this next one don't point at me okay Home Depot we're open really late because we know you underestimated your project that's good that's like super real I feel like so real I mean you always run back for like two nuts and bolts yeah [ __ ] hammer home depot we're open late because we know you didn't get any of the things that you were supposed to get the first time also we have toilets chill that should be part I was in I thought we have minutes please don't [ __ ] in our Florida's my god that's [ __ ] speaking of [ __ ] hot pockets Wow r.i.p the roof of your mouth yeah true diarrhea pocket is dead package is Jim Gaffigan yeah did you notice that he became the colonel and KFC he just they just switched it yeah they just switched again it was the other community yeah yeah normal okay so I don't know yeah so um I think it's Norma Donald and it would they like he was brand new but then they weren't feeling it they got Jim Gaffigan so the spot that they did was Jim Gaffigan you know it's it's Norma Donald right and then it cuts the Jim Gaffigan has the colonel waking up and I say I had a bad dream there was another Colonel pretending to be me so meta so meta but yeah I loved him Gavin lounge in his Hot Pockets bit is very funny you should check it out on YouTube sometime guys dad packy David Packard yeah he's the best okay I got a Whole Foods grocery chop like there's no tomorrow because you definitely won't have any money left when you leave mmm they put they call a whole paycheck people have your limp a jacket no Turk yeah it's so real surreal you okay we've talked about this in a podcast before though about how on the west coast because people don't have to deal with whether or whatever because on the East Coast you shop for like a week or two weeks here do a huge shop so it's not like unlikely you'll go into a grocery store and wait in line to check out with people with like one car or if they have big family of groceries and you just wait in line that's what you do whereas here everybody's just got like a thing of flowers and like a loaf of bread and like a bottle of wine and you're like okay so in free bread yeah I never a time when I was going to the grocery store when like every single time I pull up with a cart full of groceries something like ah it's a lot of groceries I'm like excuse you like does known [ __ ] grocery shop here like shut the [ __ ] up whole paycheck man and everyone behind you with like their thing of flowers and like an apple is waiting they're like what do you grocery shop alright this is clothes money no no they go to the grocery store get with Apple every day that's what it's like here every day that's why you can't find a parking spot and the Whole Foods parking lot to be fair have you ever had one of their fresh made sandwiches at their deli its dank I have and I know you have yeah they have Bloomfield red Julian was going through this phase where he really liked those sandwiches so he would go buy a loaf of bread I was right and then give it to the devas they didn't have glia made no sense they have no gluten-free bread at the sandwich counter so he would buy a loaf of bread still read it over to the counter and ask them to make it but whole paycheck yeah now that place is it's off off the chain a little bit and not the best way it's okay there's a sub place in high school that I like to go and I used to love BLT sandwiches but they didn't have any bacon so I would bring in as a Bock bag a bag full of little bacon and can you make me a BLT it's so that every time they would bring it out they'd be like alright so I mean I guess it's just a veggie sub because you brought your own meet you IOM or BYOB Bambino bring your own meet discuss can you imagine getting away with that with any other meat just like a raw steak in your backpack your fanny bag can you put the steak on like you did you ride your bike here with the [ __ ] wait what like a raw steak kebab and your wallet I know in this kissing uh kebab good um makes a couple of mine chipotle nobody here actually knows what a proper scoop is and at this point they're very bad oh yeah I made that one up I feel so bad needed it when you're like starving at Chipotle waiting in that line and then that girl is like whoever serving you is just like looking around talking to her friends yeah that really always so just dress yeah and then she just gives you that tiny little scoop of chicken and then that tiny little scoop of rice and I'm looking at Julian's Bowl like we either need to order three more bowls I mean to be fair Chipotle it takes a [ __ ] delicious so that's why I want more of it but it's like yeah and sometimes it's arbitrary to that's why I made that slogan like know each you know no - so Paco - yeah there's no quality control there's no exactly there's no no - employees who have the same exact scoop size and some of the big guys will look at maybe like you want chicken all right here's [ __ ] loaded chicken and girls but you know oh actually put one too many pieces so I'm gonna actually dig into your bowl and put it back have you seen them [ __ ] do that [ __ ] yes they pull that one where they they go back and like refund themselves the chicken every time someone Rhys coops chicken back into the chicken a part of Julian dies like a muscle fiber snaps inside of it and dies died I will never get it back I know I'm sorry it's okay it's all good I'm really sorry it's always so sad I'm sorry okay Supercuts sorry that'll be ten dollars I'm sorry you shoulda said super cuts just [ __ ] me up fam sorry our bad I love how it leads with sorry that's good sorry fam sorry Pam right hi Instagram what are links it's true I can't get over I like um Perez Hilton does it like every single day he people do still post links in description so Lincoln I'm like I why did why are you doing that whoever is doing that still why Instagram is not on board with me maybe I was like confused maybe I didn't have an update or something I know that's what I thought too because people still put links in their [ __ ] description in their comment section Donny cuz it makes every what though so you think to the literal point zero five percent of people who are going to look at that and remember that you are out on go typing in their browser you can't even hold down and copy no you have to go into the comments and then do that so it's like frustrating hey scram will [ __ ] the links that bro Instagram with a little bit okay lush boom we're the bomb Wow alright I appreciate that dad joke yeah what if we're just lush boom boom goes the dynamite no I like the one where the bomb with a bomb cuz in case the boom didn't do it for Unabomber gonna tell you we're the Baja bout lush bang out where the bomb you know like bang ow I dunno what manga you know like Bango Bango Bango Bango Bango hey good um Facebook what is copyright Wow sorry that was those too easy I'm just a [ __ ] reai skipped it I skipped it too [ __ ] I never said Jamba Juice it's healthy I think oh it's so true though so true yeah it's just sugar the calf that stuff is just like sugary fake stuff yeah I mean yeah that's me I think it's how it's like fruity he looks fresh smells good there's grass on the wall yeah I mean just ask your like your face in your mouth the question when I go home and use fruit and make a smoothie does it taste like this not really not just sugar man okay um I got a funny one coming Davy's are us ah you thought you didn't want a baby right now every time we walk anywhere near a Babies R Us jenna is inappropriate then oh let's go to babies r us when we're in there though cuz we shop for my niece sometime when she was a baby um you go in there and everything is just so [ __ ] she's you're right you're right Tommy it's pretty [ __ ] cute right Marga a lot it's really cute I mean you being inappropriate in the sense of like we went in here's one time we went into a Babies R Us and every eye we worked on Julian jesse was like Julian look at this Julian put a baby that was a half joke plan I'm like saying it to be outrageously inappropriate I know it's funny but yeah if things are very cute there it is funny being outrageously inappropriate is funny it is funny it is it is mmm outrageously outrageously in Jenna and Jen appropriate injection Java Barrett Brooklyn carpet good in a podcast pre it uber we can't wait to have a conversation it's like therapy for night drivers yeah you'd be the therapist will drive you give you a therapist yeah boy are we gonna exploit uber we hate silence oxhorn talk chat coffee hang up gum gum gum anyone water doesn't gonna um yeah which later on uh Yankee Candle come get a headache with us like is your smelly smelly mouth never leave you candle or like go in there and you're in there for too long and there you start to get a headache from all the smell no because when I guess that point I just like walk away and you stay there it like makes you a little nauseous yeah I can see that yeah no Bath & Body Works says that - there's like way too many scents happening yeah makes you look good it why did go there then yeah well sometimes I like candles thing is they sometimes like being nauseous I don't go there to throw up on the ground yeah Pinkberry I can't believe this doesn't have any calories they do kind of like make it seem like you're eating something really help yeah it's not it's not I can't believe it's not color you can eat a lot worse thing that's true now if you get if you get like the non-dairy the sherbert ones you get those are just fruit but usually really frozen yogurt places no I'm talking about Pinkberry they have that one you can have the non mellow the girls cannot melt yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't think that's that bad for you no it was more just a joke creepy okay anyways um LensCrafters stop please stop gluing your glasses together very not exactly right okay I went to the eye doctor I got a full year's worth of contacts cuz I got an eye exam my eyes have not changed my prescription is exactly the same exactly the same and I was like why did we even do this [ __ ] told you honestly while I was sitting there getting my eyes like looked at and stuff I was like what is the point of this like what did they care what glasses or contacts I wear like if I want to order they craft the lenses they care no but like you can go to the grill just hear me out or was it you can go to the grocery store and buy one of those you know five dollar pair of reading glasses that make you feel like you're in a [ __ ] Twilight Zone because they're so intense you can buy those off the rack but you cannot buy contacts or glasses without your prescription being updated and I'm like what the [ __ ] do things like a flawed system what the [ __ ] did I care our heroes if I'm wearing the wrong prescription it's the doctor it's like the doctor doesn't come on after you for like not taking care of yourself yeah you know the doctor doesn't look make it so that you can ever I don't know do something no it makes sense it's a little confusing why that would be that way yeah I hear it's [ __ ] annoying that's someone with flawless vision well cuz I don't like to do it I know I know my prescription why can't I just order them online and of course everyone always tweets at me like oh just order them online don't mock them they're trying to help you know they're like they're oversimplifying sometimes well how do you know there isn't a system somewhere that isn't LensCrafters that you can do it online it's not LensCrafters it's that you need to get your prescription every what year or two in order to purchase you need a glass content maybe you're a vision is changing that's why okay but I just said like why the [ __ ] do they care what my prescription is or what prescriptions are probably like a law somewhere in there whether if they give you the wrong prescriptions they prescribe you the wrong number prescription they could be liable for some are totally different I'm saying if I want to go online and order some contacts in whatever prescription I want why can't I do that what the [ __ ] today I guess you have a point yeah point like if every day I wake up and put on some of those groceries to our reading glasses no one can stop me no that's true the [ __ ] did it boy how come you can sell me those for a story the prescription that I know that I have yeah I feel you I feel you're saying anyway I mean I can't relate I'd type I'm no perfect vision sure we get it yeah I is the perfect guys go ahead adobe reader here have an update it always ask you already know what it does its updates that's all does update what adobe nothing who are you he doesn't even go here he doesn't even go here okay I got like five left Papa John's better ingredients better pizza hail Satan that's funny Papa glass top of mountains get Dom's good cuz it's accurate worst ingredients worst Pisa when Satan um better ingredients better tip me Papa John's Papa bless all the most tips but not forgotten tipped oh my god Taco Bell where you either get two packets of hot sauce for 57 I never liked the hot sauce until I checked [ __ ] tried it and then it's magical close your mind well in which it's been [ __ ] months since we had that [ __ ] who want it okay we should could talk about ooh don't double charge me for that we haven't had like a cheap meal and on all we've been so good well I started liking the hot sauce because like Taco Bell has a surprising number of vegan things that you can get surprising but it tastes good with the hot sauce because there's not as much like happening so like it needs like a bean burrito or something yeah it needs a little moisture in there you know mmm moist oh that's so gross but like perfect for literally whatever [ __ ] happens like go [ __ ] kill someone and drink it we don't care we make a joke on super bowl for a triple their song is like perfect for whatever happens like if we take that literally we will go commit [ __ ] crazy crimes and [ __ ] vandalize everything and maybe murder someone and then drink Bud Lights whole does the reporter thing like it's not it's not just suitable for whatever happened it's perfect it's perfect you want a [ __ ] grand theft auto this [ __ ] right now grab a Bud Light it's it's perfect perfect why do you think the cupholders there for the Bud Light I'm sorry okay Wow Bud Light perfect for whatever happens after your long day of the pimping kids but like better have it now because they don't serve it in jail well okay Petco where the pets go to pee on the floor instead of outside I asked you if you needed to go before we got it here oh my god I'm so sorry that's good or by one fish get 10 dead fish free oh oh you said to buy crickets yeah did you a lizard there's no I had a lizard my sister had a snake so he says buy crickets we actually used by mice which is [ __ ] up yeah this is a snake lives mice um but yes like half the crickets when we're at home would be [ __ ] dead in the box like the hell I got ripped off dude they really five cents each I want my five cents back for per dead cricket why am i old breaking a piece had a ball python was getting like big she was having to feed it like small like rabbits and [ __ ] big she was already like the big rats yeah and you have to like play with it so that it well it's eating so that it wants to eat it yeah oh my god that just reminded me of you loved her snake though oh I know it sneaks on the best my sister a boa constrictor I loved it was so sweet they're so sweet um I reminded me of this subreddit I've discovered recently and it's [ __ ] hardcore but if you're in a hardcore [ __ ] go to it it's called nature is metal there was a there was a video of this piranha eating this mouse oh my god like it's basically animal [ __ ] each other that's probably not for me it is for me but sometimes I literally have to turn it off because it's like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] nature is metal it's called nature's metal why sure imagine yeah alright Sherman we use cute bears to advertise paper for your butthole oh it's true their ads are cute though I kind of like what they want you to think in the end of the day you're buying paper for your bubble yeah but since when do bears even use toilet paper I don't age they just like rub their ass on a tree they're not very sorry they should love that when they're standing against something that's a missus it's honestly a great way to hit your back if you stand against something and just rub your back on it feels so good oh I get you bears I get you dude that's why every time I see a bear doing that I just dab some real quick I'm like dude [ __ ] you get that edge mmm Kleenex oh you nasty Kleenex you you nasty that's funny huh yes you lose the Kleenex mock my room oh my god oh you nasty hmm-hmm achoo oh you nasty it's so cool everywhere right except at a Funeral no I'm just gonna say that like you're crying janessa oh you nasty we are here to remember oh you nasty my god oh where where and now you're being insensitive you nasty insensitive I'm sorry how's that I was at I was at a kleenex sponsored funeral and I didn't like I'm sorry Kleenex sponsored Figueroa hey somebody's got to cover those costs murals are not cheap that's true it's true let's not talk about pianos I mean yeah that was really dark nice sorry Nike just do it and unless you like really don't want to do it in that case just post a picture of yourself doing it and then like go hug and watch Netflix or some [ __ ] but get your mom's password don't pay for that those shoes cost you way too much now costed it's costed cause accosted accosted your Wow I got a Wow what not funny no it's so true though not gonna sleep tonight I have one looks sort of like that yeah no no I said I have one yeah nothing all ready said your next one okay go lit New Balance hey you know we make good stuff too like just cuz we don't have like celebrities and set like we need clothes you make great shoes hey we exist that's good it should be knew about really that should be knew about science it should be New Balance worn by dads everywhere New Balance hey we exist to new bounds if you need like a review of our shoes just ask your dad daddy if you have wide feet alright I got it New Balance daddy do you Nessie Utah I have one more okay Joey you do a couple does one do you have more than me Duff major key alert why is Duff not like printing boxes with just keys on it some key soap would be great it's genius and it is Crate and Barrel congratulations when's the wedding good like who really goes to Crate & Barrel and just shops no it's the registry spot yeah all right I'll do my lesson then Bank of America sorry but like not sorry oh don't get me started on them they [ __ ] they infuriate me they'll be like we're like hey we actually saw this purchase on a gas station like like maybe 20 feet from your house but you haven't gone there in 30 minutes cancel the monocle you get a new one in five to seven business days if you're lucky if you're lucky until then good [ __ ] luck that's what worse I like member the time we went to the grocery store and it was just cancelled on the spot and then I called them they're like yet did you try to go to a Ralph's and I'm like I'm just buying groceries that I shop here like all the time they're like oh food when you [ __ ] human you shop thought it was fraud anyways and the worst part is like I hear my who have other banks they're like oh yeah when I get a suspicious purchase they literally call me or text me like okay cool you did not faith America boom cancelled [ __ ] you so first and then they charge you if you want to get your card ships faster yeah I remember I don't think they do it anymore but the overdraft fees do you member no no they do they do that oh yeah I thought that the someone had won a class action law so I I got older I got refunded some money because what they were doing was - it was wrong i mighta got different feet in you but they still do over traffic's like if you if you spent a dollar over because when I was younger I used to overdraw like on occasion and then be [ __ ] because you'd spend one dollar over what's in here and you could charge like 15 you're in your current checking account and you would then get charged started on which is crazy it was insane and it wouldn't stop you from overspending or saying like hey we're overcharging right now it just lets you go ya know so if you went to like no I know I know you ain't got a coffee and then you went and got a sandwich that would then be like Oh almost fine $6,100 well I don't know about a hundred dollars for two purchases but depends all except the two coffees in which we know yeah but yeah it's [ __ ] up there's criminal it's [ __ ] oh did you have any more yes Snickers we basically copyrighted hangry oh are you sad cuz you're hanging no I was making a joke but you don't even laugh at my jokes now which joke was an office job Jonna you know you guys know I win - me I'm not gonna read them all what is it in the slogan yeah okay is that the Snickers one no is it Nike okay I'm not gonna let you go to the list it was Pinkberry I can't believe there are no calories in this Wow they're walking through the mall you frozen yogurt and Michael goes I can't believe there are no calories in this in it and as it goes nobody said there had no calories in it right right oh wait no it was Pam sorry was Pam she's live she loves it well thanks for putting up with this podcast like Jenna has I think she's given up putting up with it but um oh I'm sorry what I should go check out his box you fellas I fell asleep from laughing so hard at that reference nice yeah go check out me ideas go to meet a nice calm / Jenna Julian for 20% off your order of the softest and dopest underwear in the game and go to bull and branch comm enter product code Jenna Julian for 20% off the best sheets and bedding and all other stuff in that you can get and shipped right to your house for affordable prices thank you to our sponsors yeah thank you guys thanks for hanging out for another week yeah they think we appreciate you and always make sure to know that well if you have an idea tweet let us yeah Jenna Julian Potter on Twitter because are we like this week we will find your idea and make a pocket I will find it I will read it and we will laugh about it that is exactly right oh you guys made me ink Oh can't wait to find ink see finding Dory ink ink ink inside of it I know I hope that we still look alike never new door picture of me next to Dory we lose that yeah you're wearing like a blue t-shirt yeah I wanna be Dory when I grow up be dory 42 Wallaby wait t-shirt yeah okay anyway thank you guys for watching and we just don't know anymore isn't oh I know well you guys have a great week thanks for watching yeah bye guys you

Channel: Jenna Julien

Views: 954,691

Rating: 4.9269295 out of 5

Keywords: trick people good looking boyfriend girlfriend, julien and jenna, julien solomita, jenna mourey, mourey, jenna, marbles, how to, trick people, good looking, the face, face, vlog, jenna and julien podcast, jennulien, jenna marbles podcast, jenna podcast, youtuber, tutorial, kermit the dog, kermit

Id: GE4eJW6narA

Length: 51min 58sec (3118 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 14 2016