PKA on Using Wet Platinum & Edible Lingerie

and we're live yeah you ever try edible underwear that's just waiting to help yeah it tastes like [ __ ] they taste like a really gross it's like a really gross fruit by the foot like um like it and because you know that like if you're buying like a fruit by the foot or something at the store it hasn't been there for super super long you know it's there's probably a good number of people by the foot of the store there's some turnover there if you're buying edible underwear maybe just the area you live in people aren't that into it and so you're buying edible underwear from 1997 trying to eat that and all of it it's basically alcoholic at this point from fermenting but i like the grape flavor that was strawberry well it's grape now yeah the um the flavored lubricants are often a yeast infection oh the worst yeah how could they even legally sell that right never given those ago it seems like a terrible idea it wasn't us actually we remember when wet platinum like sent lube to us and you know me yeah your wife gave it to her and she got the the yeast yeah we gave it to our our neighbor two doors down and jackie's like you didn't know yeah you can't can't stick flavored lubricant up your hoo-ha you so what are you supposed to be doing with is it only for anal sex am i ha and am i so clean with my butt [ __ ] that a little bit of this strawberry loop isn't going to get your [ __ ] anyway let's be real here it's ridiculous for them to even selling it sell it it's like selling strawberry strychnine strawberry flavored strychnine it just doesn't make sense you don't want people to eat it so why [ __ ] make it taste like anything i have a sportsman in your mouth it it doesn't taste that good and it doesn't mean i i yeah it's a real limited function okay well either it gets sticky it gets sticky and gummy after you take that stuff put it there's sugar in there yeah yeah put it between your hands rub your hands together for six seven solid seconds then like pull them apart from one another it's going to be like taffy you're going to see the strings of it stretch wet platinum premium on the other hand that is straight up black bottle that says wet platinum you know that she was good for like 12 [ __ ] sessions or 3 000 miles like it just stays as lube you can you can [ __ ] tomorrow like it's [ __ ] up all week dude it's too it's too much it is like it's like if you use a lot of it and then you go get in the shower afterward it's an actual scrubbing session like you have to like get like some some special shampoo or something through the grease or oil or whatever it is you can see like the meniscus of the the lube settling on the floor of your bath as it's rinsing out you know it's uh it's my whole section has less friction than normal today it just you can't get rid of it all right that didn't use it for everything i have put it on door hinges um i put like i swear to god and it's better than wd-40 it's got to be it's so slippery it's like it's it's like uh from from christmas vacation national lampoon's christmas vacation when he sprays the non-stick stuff to his his sled and he takes off down the hill and just goes boom and there's just a flame behind him it's like that kind of you spill that [ __ ] on hardwood you better go get the mop the the something to cut it you're gonna have to clean that you gotta call a guy to put some carpet [Laughter] but yeah honestly and we're making fun of it but everything we're saying is 100 true that is the best lubricant you'll ever use if you if you use lube for sex then get wet platinum there is no reason to get anything else you all you don't you don't want water-based lubricant you want silicone-based lubricant and you want to use the right kind of condoms with it or to melt them it'll melt regular condoms keep that in mind does it dissolves them yeah i thought that was like petroleum petroleum-based lubricants yeah it's oil-based isn't it because then it er interacts with experience that wet platinum turns condoms into this thing that'll just kind of tear apart after a while okay well if you're going off experience i don't want to combat that and i use a cut i usually use the skin sky-n condoms that are like uh don't have um what's that they're the ones that don't have latex in them yeah yeah because you never know you never know who's allergic to latex true yeah well i mean sometimes you actually know the person you're [ __ ] like a questionnaire and like him [Laughter] you hate that's my situation that's all i'm just saying like we've met before yeah the whole flavored lube thing really doesn't make sense because like try and think of a use for it like what what is a use for can you use it as a massage oil no you would stick it it would be like rubbing someone with like strawberry jam like it'll be like smooth for a couple seconds and then it's oh i think it would be good if you were like stroking a penis and sucking it and you wanted it to taste like strawberry yeah even then even then why is why would she have to like eat a bunch of lube for that can't you like they have like body powders like sugary powder they can just put there then you don't sugary powdery just look up like a body powder it's just like sugar stuff that you can sprinkle wherever you want and then lick it off yeah it's not literally about frosting another human being before sex you want it to be lubey that's the point of lose redemption no but it's not the point of loop in this situation because it's just what would the lube serve if anything it's just going to drop down between your ass cheeks it's going to get all over the place it's going to get sticky very quickly you know lubes enhance hand jobs and i'm saying that she shouldn't be doing a hand job down there anyway if she has flavored stuff all over your dick get the hands out of there well that's the thing you can add in the mouth and and you know we're having a party maybe i guess that's a peanut butter in there that makes a little christmas you get the you get the strawberry lube on her vagina you get some peanut butter in her ass and you get yourself a slice of bread and just from always with the phone now this is important for girls now this is important most people won't tell you this when you're doing this you want to go from the front to the back always the front to the back with that slice of bread okay don't use honey wheat that's don't don't use honey wheat you want white bread you don't want any uh nothing with oats or no wait a minute since honey doesn't ferment like it never goes bad maybe you can put honey in the hoo-ha and there's no honey does go bad it will not rot but it will go rancid and if you eat rancid honey you i think you can die really you can make alcohol i thought honey was good from like egyptian days which i guess are also today oh they seal it up it's vessels those like uh um um like pottery vessels and they're like sealed on top and they've they've broken that honey out before and i guess it's still good and i know those survivalists and i know a guy who's like this have multiple five gallon buckets of honey all sealed up permanently and everything so those five gallon buckets would probably last thousands of years right of editable honey but just imagine those hard times when you're just like hmm what are we having a honey again i would hope that there's some stuff to put the honey on but but i don't know how hard these times are getting yeah so you've got to turn to the honey bucket for suspects keep that in mind you're like i'm so hungry crack out another five gallon bucket of honey bill but yeah don't use that [ __ ] lube any flavored lubes use wet platinum that's the best lube i've ever used i like to order from amazon and the big big bottle with the pump on top um that's that's much nicer to have yeah you squeeze these out and it gets so slippery on those bottles it's hard to pick up date like if you pick it up days later it's still like [ __ ] like a piece of soap yeah and the worst part is like it's so slippery it's so slippery and the word i'm looking for is um um they talk about viscosity the viscosity is so low in this stuff it's so thin that it will seep out of its own bottle if the wet platinum bottle is incapable our bottle in a ziploc bag yes mine is too it has to be because if you turn it sideways even you turn that thing sideways on any surface and wait 10 minutes to come back and it has dribbled out a little quarter-sized splotch of wet platinum that will soak through bed sheets into mattresses like it'll make the top of your dresser all of a sudden this nightmare zone where you you put your hand on it for it to like push yourself out of bed and your hand slips your elbow hits it then you fall on the cliff nightstand if it's ever had wet platinum on it you'll be like zoom oh yeah i remember that nine months ago it touched it and it still [ __ ] lubed because it never goes away so i like the pump bottle and um i've even gone so far as i went to target and got myself like a porcelain like bottle dispenser that would be like for bath soap and it's it's all nice and i just fill that thing up with my big like i think it's either 30 i think it's 32 ounces the bottle that i buy it's 40 a bottle that's a lot of wet platinum it's a lot of wet platinum but i i you know i like i'm pretty liberal with my lubricant so i can go through those little 10 bottles pretty quickly we're running out now but they sent us so much wet platinum i've never had to buy it like if you could picture a 55-gallon steel drum they sent us like the bottom 20 of it you know just like a box full of it like all these things jackie's giving him some of these lubricants i don't feel like i got enough i i remember getting like one i got like one i don't know they have other kinds do you get multiple kinds they have i guess flavored then they have the original they have an anal blend i guess i don't know that i don't think they call it the anal blend but they should on there or whatever um yeah that's the only ones i've seen i guess if you hit the mark on your first try no need to keep innovating you know yeah i must have been in the labs where they're like we made a loop and they're like oh okay first try i bet [ __ ] like he slipped on the floor and he's like all right well job done you know is this industrial or for sex well i don't know just put it out in the market and see what people do with it little columbia stop stores from squeaky goods stop swimming from fussing yeah we signed two huge contracts with adam and eve and the ford motor company nascar loves this stuff hitch what are you using for lube join the conversation oh man i'm taking a i'm just imagining hector looking at my screen just saying don't say anything please don't say anything just laugh and oh yeah because hector told me he was an astro guy which you know to me like implied what a rookie hex was so just saying what's his name hex has been on pka before he hasn't been on when i was a guest but i'm sure that you know he knows the the flow of the show and that we tend to get a little a little silly you know something i thought anybody would judge your lubric your lubricant of choice at this day and age when there's so much so much other stuff going on especially i'm actually learning a lot right now i'm not gonna lie to you guys you guys have uh get on amazon right now just just one click buy that stuff you're gonna you're gonna love it it comes with a black bottle if it's not a black bottle you bought the wrong stuff yes it's very good we need to get them as a sponsor where's chizz they didn't have the money that's how he got that big barrel of supplies wasn't that all they sent was probably i have shirts i have a shirt that has the logo as big as my chest and it says like get wet or something i can't wait it's one of those shirts you can't wear outdoors i just like i like put it on like a uh on a weekend or something and every now and then i forget i'm about to step out the door to like go get kitty a pack of cigarettes or something i'm like oh let's not keep it wet let's uh put a little polo on or something yeah like a complete invalid degenerate who walks up like with with lube shirts on yeah disgusting so i really don't oh no yours is probably better i was gonna say we were talking about shirts right there i i don't know why it bothers me so much but i really don't like shirts that are needlessly obscene and like in your face like i'm not offended by it i'm just offended that someone would look at it and think this is a good idea this is what i should wear i should wear something that has like a big middle finger on it and says [ __ ] the world i'm great or just some stupid like keep calm and [ __ ] women or like i don't know i just i don't like sexual ones because i want to be like you don't have sex i can tell because you're wearing that his wife his wife was a 10 like a like whatever somebody's version of perfect and they used to go off-roading together he had this real nice buggy and he always wore the same t-shirt like on his off-roading weekends it said i love head and the head is that they make skis for snow and and if you know that then you sort of recognize the head font and know that it's sort of saying i love this brand of skis but something about his wife being in the passenger seat as he wore the i love head shirt it was like oh and that's her yeah like like it seemed a little it was extra crude when he wore it with his girl and because it's almost like implicating them and it's like if i wore a shirt that said like um anal sex is the only sex and then like i took melissa out to dinner like even though it's me being a dick wearing that shirt just sitting there and be like well now i'm implicated in this weird sex thing that you're doing so i don't like that i don't like the over-the-top sex dirty shirt the shirt that says um was stupid like in my head the i love head and there's like an arrow that says she sucks my dick and it was just like ah you know like you're look i'm as down as the next guy right maybe more so but i just feel like you know she doesn't deserve that it's a bit crass yeah you know it's it's a bit on the no it's a bit on the nose you know i like shirts they're a little bit more witty like i'm gonna wear a shirt that i think is funny like like one of them that i have that i don't know if it's funny or not but it's a picture of the hound but he's been cartoonized so he looks like the colonel from kfc and it says hfc you know hounds fried chicken and i think that one's funny and if you watch game of thrones you know you get the reference from like i'm gonna have to every [ __ ] chicken in this nice you know that was a great scene great episode so like little shirts like that that i think are funny but yeah you know i don't want to hairy balls or something on my shirt something disgusting that makes me look like a jackass i try to avoid graphic tees in general jackie went through a phase of buying me every shirt she thought was funny at the store and i just had a whole wardrobe full of like x-wing tie fighters and just superman and like um oh she no she goes to target that's what it is she got you the whole lineup at target they had this section i know what section she went i don't know yeah all right so you go to target and they've got this whole thing of t-shirts folded up they're not even they're usually often not even hung but then they've got like a display of that t-shirt and they take like they fold into a square and they put that square behind like laminate of some kind and you can see this big board of every kind of superhero led zeppelin ac dc spider-man everything marvel old-timey bands anything trendy or they think would be cool for a graphic tee and they're like 14 apiece and she just went yep yep yep yep yep yep so you're like iron man spiderman ecdc like the beatles like you got the whole collection i know and i'm just like like not that i dress up or anything but at least like a step beyond graphic tee can i get a polo shirt here and there i i go through we have all my um we have like this long hanger i don't what is it called the pole it's a standard clothes rod rack i think yeah and uh it's just like shirt like this one no no no no you wash them a couple times and graphic tees look like the the trashiest i have the same problem as you in well a lesser extent but i like will be looking through t-shirts sometimes because we going to a friend's house hang out or whatever but there's still like silly graphic tees i have from years ago i don't want to wear where it'll be like oh i could wear this one this looks like it'll fit oh no it's a picture of the monopoly man with uh that says i make it rain on the front can't wear that i'll look like an idiot oh i'll take this one out it's got a weird-looking dinosaur on the front do i want to look like i'm really into dinosaurs that's weird and just like looking through all that and then eventually i guess you settle on something plain or like a polo which i hate wearing polos so that's so like yeah i like polos a lot that's my that's my favorite thing i like to get a nice t-shirt to match the polo like if it's a black polo but like a purple emblem i like to find myself a polo or like a purple like v-neck to wear underneath the ironing problem with the polos like that's the thing a t-shirt i feel like doesn't even iron polo does um i usually have someone iron my clothes for me me too but she fusses back that's one of her jobs um she should buy her a nice iron like maybe that would do the trick i just feel like the trouble is it's like there's an implied like hey honey can you drop everything you're doing and iron this right now and uh like it's monday i should have at least seven or eight iron shirts for my week don't you want me to look nice and professional while i go out and put my best foot forward for this family you know when i when i look nice i feel nice about myself and i feel like not only do other people treat me better but i work harder too could you do that for me 30 45 minutes of your time from each week to just ensure that every day i'm feeling like the best version of your husband could you do that for me would you do that not you know maybe i could hire this rosarita chick she i tried her on craigslist she's she's 22 she's she's an exchange student and she can stay in the guest house she loves ironing she loves ironing and strawberry flavored wet platinum just saying yes yeah she never gets infected i like the way i look in polo shirts more than in graphic tees i just hate the feeling on my neck for like the first 40 minutes of wearing them where it just feels itchy and kind of shitty [Music] [Music]

Channel: PKA Clips

Views: 5,579

Rating: 4.98 out of 5

Keywords: pka, pka clips, pka highlights, painkiller already, painkiller already clips, painkiller already podcast, painkiller already highlights, FPSRussia, WoodysGamertag, pka podcast, pka clip, kyle pka, FPSRussia PKA, pka podcast highlights, pka plays, pka highlight, pka moments, PKA 299 w/ OpTic Hitch - Fat Shaming Playmate, Fast Food Tales, Pimple Stories, optic hitch, hitchariide, Wet platinum

Id: RMw_fWgGU0Q

Length: 18min 52sec (1132 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 13 2020