LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH, MY GOSH. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
HELLO, EVERYONE. MY NAME IS PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE.
THANK YOU. I'M HONORED TO BE HERE HOSTING
"SNL." [ APPLAUSE ]
I'M FROM THE U.K., WHICH MEANS I FIND EVERYTHING
EMBARRASSING. AND THIS MONOLOGUE IS PROBABLY
THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING I'VE EVER DONE.
AND STANDING IN FRONT OF A JAZZ BAND IN HIGH HEELS, LIVE
TELEVISION, JOKING ABOUT MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS -- ACTUALLY THAT
SOUNDS PRETTY FUN. ANYWAY, WHEN I ASKED, DO WE HAVE
TO DO THIS BIT? THEY SAID, YES, IT'S PART OF
YOUR VISA. I WROTE AND ACTED IN A TV SHOW
CALLED "FLEABAG." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IT'S ABOUT A WOMAN WHO IS TRYING TO NAVIGATE HER LIFE IN LONDON.
PEOPLE OFTEN ASSUME THAT I'M LIKE THE CHARACTER, FLEABAG.
SIMPLY BECAUSE I WROTE IT. SEXUALLY DEPRAVED, FOUL MOUTHED,
AND DANGEROUS. AND I ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY, YES,
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. IN FACT, EVERYTHING I WRITE HAS
A KEG OF TRUTH. AND EVERY PROJECT IS DIFFERENT.
I'M NOT A SEX ADDICT BECAUSE I WROTE "FLEABAG" BUT I DID WRITE
"KILLING EVE" BECAUSE I'M A PSYCHOPATH.
MY MOST EXCITING EX-BOYFRIEND WROTE NOTHING BUT WAS BOTH.
[ APPLAUSE ] IT'S A GREAT TIME TO BE A
PSYCHOPATH RIGHT NOW. THEY'RE REALLY HAVING A MOMENT,
DON'T YOU THINK? WHEN I WAS WRITING "KILLING
EVE," I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH ON PSYCHOPATHS.
SO MUCH SO THAT I DID ACTUALLY START TO BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE
IN MY LIFE WAS ONE. I TOLD MY HOUSEMATE, I THINK YOU
MIGHT BE A PSYCHOPATH AND HE RESPONDED IMMEDIATELY WITH, I
HAVE EMPATHY. WHICH I FOUND A LITTLE
UNNERVING. SO, YOU KNOW, SEXY.
"FLEABAG" CAME FROM A VERY, VERY PERSONAL PLACE FOR ME.
IT BEGAN AS A WAY TO GET ANDREW SCOTT TO DRESS UP AS A
PRIEST AND TELL ME THAT HE LOVES ME.
IT TOOK ME SIX YEARS. AND TWO
SEASONS TO ACHIEVE IT BUT I DID IT.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT AWARDS, I JUST
WANT GAY MEN TO LOVE ME. I CALLED THE CHARACTER "PRIEST"
IN THE SCRIPT BUT EVERYONE STARTED CALLING HIM "HOT
PRIEST." OBVIOUSLY, ANDREW IS HOT.
BUT THIS PRIEST CHARACTER CAUSED SUCH A HORN STORM.
ANDREW AND I WERE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT WAS ABOUT HIM
THAT WAS DRIVING WOMEN SO MENTAL.
AND WE BOILED IT DOWN AND REALIZED, IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS
DOING THIS ONE THING -- LISTENING.
[ APPLAUSE ] JUST REALLY, REALLY LISTENING.
TRY IT, GUYS. BUT
WE ALL FIND WEIRD THINGS SEXY. AND WOMEN CAN NOW SPEAK MUCH
MORE OPENLY ABOUT THEIR DESIRES, ABOUT BEING BURNED AT THE STAKE,
WHICH IS NICE. I LOVE THAT.
BACK IN THE DAY, HORNY WOMEN WERE TO BE FEARED AND NOW
THEY'RE GIVEN EMMYS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SEXUAL CONVERSATION FOR WOMEN IS EXPANDING.
THE WEIRDER YOUR FANTASY, THE MORE OPEN YOU ARE ABOUT IT, THE
COOLER YOU ARE. OH,
YOU LOCKED YOUR HUSBAND IN THE ATTIC?
ROCK ON, SISTER. WHEREAS STRAIGHT MEN, THESE
DAYS, YOU ARE ALLOWED ONE FANTASY.
IF YOU ARE LOOKING UP ANYTHING OTHER THAN A WOMAN IN HER 30s
IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION, YOU'RE A PERVERT.
BURN HIM! FOR A WORLD OBSESSED WITH SEX,
IT'S KIND OF INCREDIBLE HOW LITTLE ATTENTION WE ACTUALLY PAY
OUR GENITALS. WHEN WE FOCUS ON THEM OR IF THEY
GET SICK OR SOMETHING, THEN IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM.
THE REST OF THE TIME, THEY'RE JUST SITTING THERE.
THEY'RE JUST SITTING THERE. PATIENTLY.
LIKE -- I MEAN, JUST THINK ABOUT HOW
MANY OF THEM ARE IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW.
THINK ABOUT ALL THE GENITALS ALL ACROSS AMERICA, ON COUCHES,
RIGHT NOW. JUST, LIKE --
Can someone explain to me why on earth SNL won't make their YouTube channel available in other countries? At least in Germany it's impossible to watch it. I don't get it because it's not like it will be shown anywhere else here.
She’s fantastic and classically beautiful. What a great mind.
This version works in Canada and hopefully everywhere worldwide:
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7m8ln6
If someone could upload a streamable link it would be deeply appreciated.