People Who Declined A Proposal, Why? (r/AskReddit)

people who declined a proposal why did you do it I met him at an art opening he flew back to his home state a couple days later we spent a month talking on the phone every day and he asked me to come with him to Italy while he produced some paintings for a patrons new villa I started getting everything together to renew my passport and prepare for the trip he told me he was going to propose to me in Italy I told him this was too much for me and I wasn't feeling like we were on the same level in the relationship he lost his crap called me 50 times through the night but after the first time I didn't answer anymore a few years later I found out he had gone to prison statutory debauchery of one of his art students because we had been dating for a week but he loved you I was only 16 he just turned 20 also he gave me his ex-girlfriend's ring Yano recycled ring recycled goals recycled feelings I was 16 and not pregnant he said I could go to college later if I still wanted to after we had kids I was in my first few years of teaching and one of my 9 year old students brought his sister's play ring to school got down on one knee when the class was on the field and he proposed to me it was very sweet I declined saying that he was a little young for me when I was student teaching I had a student from Ghana who insisted that I twenty one at a time was far past my prime for marriage he stole a ring from his mom's jewelry box and said he was willing to make the sacrifice and marry me so that I wasn't old and alone in the world kid was 15 needless to say I declined that was a weird phone call home I thought my ex had anger management issues and I didn't get along with his mother he was too attached to her he later became a violent alcoholic years after we broke up he also stole quite a bit of money from me to give to his mother for bills I was not aware of this until months after the fact I feel like I dodged a huge bullet there forget a huge bullet it sounds like you dodged a freaking nuke we were on the verge of a breakup when he asked we'd been having problems for a few years his idiot friend told him it was a good idea to propose and that it would make everything magically better I told him no we broke up and I moved away for a while as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder it was true in our case we were able to work things out I moved back in two years later we got married we've been together for 24 years I have two daughters and one grandchild Your Story gives me hope been dating 10 years having problems now broke up hopefully we can work it out I was fresh out of high school and dating a guide the military that I went to school with we had been dating about three months when he proposed he was nice and I could have seen a future with him but three months was just too soon for me even though we had been friends for quite some time I told him I wasn't ready and he never spoke to me again a friend's girlfriend got hammered at a bowling alley got down on one knee completely seriously and then wet herself while proposing to me why I iiiiii Arum cringing so hard I was 15 he was 17 I wasn't ready I liked him a lot but wasn't ready to plan a life with any one person at that age there was a guy at my high school prom that proposed to his girlfriend in the middle of the dance floor lo by Flo Rida was playing she said No he asked me randomly when on a night out when we weren't even dating just friends I thought he was joking but then he came over the next day to ask what my feelings were I had to say I didn't think of him that way and it was awkward for a while boys in Christian college be like well he proposed as I was breaking up with him which was awkward and for some reason he thought it would make me change my mind also he had threatened to kill my family the day before hence the breakup so there's that when he asked my future flashed in front of me and I hated it he was a good guy and I did love him but we wanted different things we had been together for many years but the proposal was still a surprise I think he proposed to try and save a sinking relationship that's sad I'm very afraid of that all the best to you though he literally only proposed because I caught him cheating he thought I would say yes OMG of course I forgive you please continue to cheat on you after we both sign a legally binding contract dude was dumb your story reminded me of one of my friends who was cheated on by her boyfriend then he also proposed and said if you meet her you'd really like her she is a lot like you like he had the gall to expect her to agree to an immediate threesome and polygamous marriage got asked in college by a close female friend we weren't dating I hadn't ever felt an attraction to her and I knew she just wanted a husband more than she wanted me the actual person 100% likes my now wife asked me to marry her I told her I needed to think about it and eventually told her no I thought I would had held her back my store was closing down in two months before that happened I turned down a different offer to stay so I knew I was gonna be without work for some time she didn't take it well and we didn't speak for a couple years eventually though our paths crossed again and we both missed each other tons one night she tells me so molecule you make up your mind yet I instantly broke down laughing in two weeks later we were married hum molecule is kinda a cute pet name for a significant other I don't hate there it was our first date he showed up drunk and called me somebody else's name I was 29 and had been with my boyfriend for years when he proposed I put scare quotes around it because he didn't actually say anything he just got down on a knee and showed me a ring every time we had talked about marriage I told him I wasn't ready our relationship was solid but I felt sort of listless in it and like we never really fully connected or had real talks of any depth I always felt like it was me talking and him listening but not giving much back we never ever fought the proposal felt like a microcosm of that dynamic instead of having a real talk about what he wanted which would have been hard he just bought a ring a diamond bTW which I told him I didn't want but he didn't believe me to try to sidestep dealing with any difficult feelings or conflicts we stayed together after that though I felt so confused he seemed so devoted I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me a year and a half later I found out he had been pursuing other women through much of our relationship including my best friend who he was infatuated with she did not realize and was having an emotional affair with a woman at his work he acted like a complete crazy person after this all came to light and all the resentments he had secretly buried came up culminating in a letter to my parents where he essentially blamed me for his cheating based on offenses like my doing my laundry separate from his and not accepting his money liking to keep our finances separate I felt validated about the vague uneasy I had had for so many years and was glad I listened to that intuition that there was something not right though I wish I had sooner about a month later I met my now husband and we married a year and a half later I never hesitated with his proposal even though it was only a few months in it's been three years now and I am so happy with him we are expecting our first child in November my mother was engaged to a man while she was in college the wedding plans were well underway and as the wedding got closer her fiance started acting super clingy and possessive she called it off a few months before getting married he has lived locally their whole life so she's run into him a few times apparently he's the super jealous type who doesn't let his wives of male friends and he has been married three times my mom definitely dodged a bullet and you my friend dodged non-existence he was that weird stoner patron that came in just to talk to me even though I wasn't entrusted he told me he was the heir to the Commonwealth and should be king after Elizabeth dies because he had the three out of the emblems of the United Kingdom and once he got the fourth it would secure his position he would also make airplane noises when I had my attention turned to other tasks that's a no Jason I'm on the opposite side of this story but it's still a good one this was years ago my girlfriend and I were at a friend's wedding and I got caught up in the romanticism of it and wound up blurting out a proposal at the reception she said no and explained that this wasn't the memory or the proposal that she wanted it felt tacky to tie this important moment to someone else's special day and she told me to ask her again later in a different setting literally five minutes later they announced that the bride was going to throw the bouquet all the girls lined up it went into the air and sailed straight into my girlfriend's arms she laughed turned to me and said that moment is pretty good okay I guess we're engaged he was Piazza Newt and we had only been dating a year ten years later he did it properly with being married six years I'm British yes we really did date 11 years before he proposed propylene he was worth waiting for one of my co-workers who's in her 30s once said more or less if he's not ready to get married after six months I'm out I expect to be pregnant after a year she did recently get married to a guy she was on again off again with four I didn't keep track he was in the military and he could make more money if he was married we had just started dating like barely dating and I wasn't even slightly into that he was like you can come with me to El Pozo looking back I think the idea of living in El Paso at that time in my life was so much worse than marrying someone I just started dating anyway things cooled off pretty quickly between us after that he left for El Paso then eventually Afghanistan we fell out of touch I heard from a mutual friend that he found someone to marry and they were married for about a year before they divorced I'm sure there were other reasons but I heard she freaking hated El Paso so there's that I like how El Paso is the real villain in this story XD I was 16 and about to move to California with my grandma and away from my abusive household dude I was dating asked me to marry him and I told him no because I knew moving would give me better opportunities than the crappy small town I was living in I felt suffocated in that town and needed to work on myself after being abused by my parents you definitely made the right decision I was in high school she had schizophrenia and I wasn't a lesbian also we weren't dating or come on it sounds like you were perfect for each other gorgeous 19 year old girl I worked with we had been a little ferocious with each other that were just close work friends I was under 25 em she got knocked up by a guy she wasn't dating seriously she was opposed to abortion so was planning to keep the baby but wanted to end it with that guy she took me aside and slowly and seriously proposed marriage with me a rational being that we loved each other even though we were just friends and that I would be a wonderful father so we should give it a shot she was sincere but seeing as her proposal was insane they Wadley tempting I said no she married the father of her child shortly after they're still married going on 20 years now only one child so I suppose I said no because I was a young man and that wasn't my child I do wonder what would have happened if I'd said yes but that would have been insane right he asked me on condition that I changed myself into something that he wants so he can fulfill his dreams all this while ignoring all my dreams so I chose to go forward alone good for you it never works when one person needs the other to change my husband proposed one month into dating I declined because you know one month a year later we moved in together and he proposed and I declined because I wasn't ready almost three years later and two more declined proposals I said yes on the fourth time I finally felt ready we have been married 11 years in retrospect his instincts were probably better than mine not me blew it a co-worker of mine happily married for a good long while told me that the only man she dated before her husband was obsessed with her and pursued her even after she broke up with him and had proposed multiple times before and after they broke up he just had this unhealthy obsession with her for some reason the last time he proposed to her was the day before her wedding to her husband she of course turned him down and he finally moved on and married a different girl I told her jokingly that he sounded unhinged and she really dodged a bullet there she went quiet for a moment and then said well he killed the woman he did end up marrying holy jesus that went from 50 to infinity not me but my dad back when he was 18 he'd go to this drive-in after worked with his work friends for dinner there was a waitress there he flirted with but never dated after about four years when he was 22 he asked her to marry him she said no couldn't see them having a future together he said alright I'll never ask you again a few years later the place closed down then another 10 years or so passed when he was 36 he ran into her at a McDonald's while she was babysitting someone else's kids he thought they were hers at first they got to know each other again then started dating two years later she felt he was the one but he never asked her to marry him so instead she asked him and he and my mom have been married for 43 years now I don't know how I didn't see that coming I was scared and selfish as a veteran they were suffering from severe PTSD had already attempted suicide and were using drugs to self-medicate as much as I loved and adored him and still do I knew there were things I wanted for myself and it wouldn't be possible if I had to be the caretaker all the time if I had said yes I would be a widow now I know I did the right thing for me but I don't feel like I did right by them I wish I could have been stronger it was strong of you to say no you can't fix someone's pain and problems for them they have their journey and you have yours what they did is not your responsibility you did the right thing he was a stranger on the bus to the city he said he'd give me an entire closet of clothing if I married him ID sign clause he said he wanted a green card I asked why not money he said he didn't have any I told him no thanks he said okay looked forward at the seat ahead inside then immediately swiveled his head back at me have asked if I had any sisters nope another sigh this one made me laugh I proposed to my boyfriend of three years he told me he loved me but just wasn't ready because his parents had a really bad marriage and frankly he didn't know if he could ever get married I cried my eyes out and he held me but he was gently adamant I accepted after a while that we wouldn't get married and to be happy that we were together and loved each other two years later he proposed to me married 12 years so far I can't imagine the amount of unconditional love and patience that you both had and I'm sure still have towards one another to work through those sorts of reservations I know several people who refuse to get married because of how their parents marriage affected them it's lovely to see an example of two people caring for each other deeply enough to face that best to you both I was asked by a man I wasn't dating he offered to buy me a beach house and said I'd be a great Stedman to his eight-year-old daughter I declined for several reasons one I was dating someone else - I was 18 and he was 32 3 he had just been dumped for he was drunk it was a serious offer I found out later I didn't take him up on it and haven't talked to him since he stopped contacting me not me but my hairdresser and I were talking about her recent breakup the other day she had been dating her bf for 7 years he never proposed so she broke up with him didn't want to waste her time as she was breaking up with him he proposed she said no you have been visited by the safety dog ow subscribe and you will be safe from all danger for the next 24 hours like and subscribe you magnificent person

Channel: UE Stories

Views: 84,465

Keywords: declined proposals, decline proposal, reasons to decline a proposal, why did you decline, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: naGSNlIu2UM

Length: 17min 22sec (1042 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 12 2020