Relationship Red Flags That People Often Miss

predators what red flags in your last relationship did you miss until it was too late the first fight i got into with my last girlfriend first thing she did was grab a bottle of jack daniels and start drinking out of it to enhance the fight i should have seen that one coming this if a person's response to stress fighting in your relationship is to start guzzling alcohol and get more pee you have someone with a serious drinking problem and or depression good luck her brother told me she was a psycho and there's no way it's going to work she ended up being a psycho it didn't work we got into a fight over condoms apparently she liked the kinds with other dudes dongs in them if you just came up with that you're a genius i had a girlfriend for close to a year we eventually stopped using protection relying on the pullout method and her being on the pill i got suspicious when she continually asked me to come inside her and then i found her pill sheet that was missing most of the days needless to say i got the frick out of dodge and broke up with her she got pregnant three months later to her next boyfriend what's crazy to me though is that every woman in her family has gotten pregnant at age 17 18 almost as though it's tradition holy crap where do i start one not a single healthy relationship with a man in her family and every other woman in her family had major issues i later understood how men had pretty much been driven away sister was a ch addict prostitute who let boyfriend take the fall when her baby was rushed to hospital with head injuries aunt was disgraced former attorney who embezzled and committed identity theft mother was just straight up nuts too always the victim i later learned more about the nature of her multiple physical fights and even an assault on an officer charged during her dui arrest 3 projection projection projection had serious trust issues insisted that i call her as soon as i got home from a night out when we lived apart and would lose her crap if i forgot also looked through my phone and email anytime she got the chance i later found out that she was the one doing things behind my back i could go on for days but for too long i believed that she was the victim that she was different from everybody else in her family and that her jealously in distrust stemmed form how much she loved me and how afraid she was to lose what she had after all she was a victim as a child i figured that all she needed was a little stability and distance from her family well after getting engaged and moving across the country to where she had moved two years earlier she confessed she was in love with someone else put a co-worker in the hospital sent nudes to another co-worker and attacked me with a knife during an argument leaving blood all over our apartment i left and drove for two days to get to my hometown in that time she told her crazy mother and aunt that i abused her which is why she cut me aunt then makes public posts on my mother's facebook page about how i beat beat women and there will be a warrant for my arrest it took a lot of medicine and therapy to get through all of that but i've moved on i really just feel bad for her but i still want nothing to do with her i'm now with a wonderful person so everything ended well complete unwillingness to communicate about serious issues if something was bothering her she'd brush it off bottle it up and save up an arsenal then one day she'd explode and lay into me about things that happened months prior that she'd been carrying around ever since i was in a 10-year relationship like that eventually every fight carried with it everything i had done wrong for 10 years we have been separated for 13 months now but she still brings up stuff from our first year of dating when i first started dating my ex-boyfriend we used to play game show video games against each other whenever i beat him at family feud or we love fortune he would do at least one of the following throw the remote at the tv my tv that i paid for furiously punch the couch furiously punch the wall attempt to break the remote in half scream at me and accuse me of hacking write a long email two thousand plus words to the game development company about how the game was defective and it was impossible for him to win in retrospect his actions spoke volumes no one should take family feud that seriously survey says you should get a restraining order none of my friends liked her or invited her anywhere i always had to ask if i could bring her around there is a reason you keep friends in your life a big one being they know what is good bad for you choosing to spend her divorced mother of two kids evenings either with me or in pubs with friends colleagues over going home to her two boys three and six years the boys were asleep before she reached home and got her only on the weekends i freaking hate parents like that let's take a break this usually means i don't want to completely cut ties with you i want to start seeing other people or at least flirt with the idea of seeing other people without feeling uncomfortably guilty about it really what this is is a trial breakup to see if i can find something better in the interim without completely letting go of you and thus being stranded without anybody my interest is very weak in you right now otherwise i wouldn't risk this trial break up if you start seeing someone else well then you're butthole and you don't deserve me anyway if i start seeing someone else it's because i deserve better and you just didn't bring out the best in me and when you come back to me trying to patch things up i will know subconsciously somehow that your frame is forever lost and i can toy with you until you act so desperately i never want to see you again or until i find someone else whichever comes first i'll preface this by saying most of this is my fault i didn't notice how much it was changing me i played less guitar and did other things i liked less enjoyed life less and would only look forward to seeing her my life goals were becoming less important in the scheme of things and i was stagnating i would constantly be swinging from elated being with her and then not trusting her deep inside i didn't upset her with this i tried to be the best boyfriend and look after her without being in a good headspace myself and making sure i was okay and not just putting on a brave face to cover my anxiety and depression it was mild but definitely there eventually it was that we were just forcing the relationship on but not right for each other she was a lovely girl but looking back we were only compatible to a limited degree now i'm single i'm in a much better place in my head meeting lots of new and interesting people actively bettering myself and pursuing my dreams sometimes the red flags aren't with other person but are with yourself i was the red flag i used manipulation and gaslighting to force a relationship i was super into it went on for 2.5 years from when i was 16 19. i'm glad she finally let go of me because even in the past year and a half since we've been apart i've grown so much and we were able to be good friends in the end and she has a great new guy around i only post this to tell people that sometimes people do it because they have the greatest of intentions but don't realize it is hurting you and the person you love anyone reading this and denying that they are the problem step back and really think you can change relationships are free-flowing do not try to control a situation what's meant to be will happen i know exactly how that feels realizing that you're the poisonous element in a relationship is disquieting but also the only way to stop being a crappy person one talking about getting married way too early too trying to tell me how to cuss my hair telling me to grow it out even though i felt i looked good the way i was three generally telling me i'm unattractive and that i shouldn't be photographed four being a selfish bee who only talked about herself tried to tell me i had to give up my dreams to follow hers with her five right when she started dating she told me that she was selfish and heartless but i should stay with her i did and it turned out that she was selfish and heartless somehow i didn't think any of these things there were more were a problem at the time if a girl tells you she's heartless she's not being pathetic she's actually heartless when someone tells you straight up they have big flaws like that dangerous selfish heartless whatever believe them always tell me how she never wanted to get married literally later that night after she had some wine she cried about how she would be married to her ex if she hadn't fricked it up somehow i was the one who got dumped she told me that i had an unhealthy relationship with my mom and didn't want me around her i'm a dumb crap for staying around it was extremely abusive and controlling now that i'm free i can see how much of an idiot i was oh well live and learn i suppose one thing that's important for me i could never be with someone who disrespects my family i don't need them to spend time with my family or anything they don't want just to not be in my way of doing it and to never say anything remotely rude about any of my family members even if i do had a girl who loved c i should have known she was always so hyper and always wanted to do stuff and was always in a great mood i thought she might be crazy until one night she busted out her mirror and baggy and then at aal made sense relationship lasted six weeks no hard feelings between us though we both knew it wasn't gonna work easy now man maybe she just liked the smell of it he didn't have any close friends or family or hobbies inability to cope with stressful situations or adapt to new situations he threatened suicide complete codependency he helped himself to my pain medication post-surgery refused to go to the doctor for mental health and physical issues he was mean to her pet he'd get angry if i was sick or needed to use a bathroom in the car i have about a thousand more all classic red flags and i was young and didn't heed the warnings he'd get angry if i was sick or needed to use a bathroom in the car i think most people get at least peeved when someone shoots in their car she always talked about her best friend a girl and i thought it was odd but never really thought about it she would later dump me to go lesbian for her best friend i have shared this one before but my ex fianche eventually tried to kill me twice after saying that her dog was speaking to her i should have noticed the telltale signs about her mental condition but she was actually pretty good at hiding it some of the signs were her hurting herself purposefully saying some oddball things control issues and lying about medical conditions she told me she had cancer and only had two years to live caught her texting her ex i love you brushed it off caught her doing it again brushed it off noticed she wouldn't post anything related to me on any social network which normally i wouldn't give a crap about but she lived on instagram and twitter leaving me out was a sign something was wrong ignored it made three-course meal for valentine's day candlelight and all that crap tried to put one picture up on facebook and she immediately told me to take it down that bothered me then the last straw really when we graduated high school i just finished my first semester of college she invited her freaking ex had him at the graduation ceremony and he stayed at a freaking condo with her and her mom i couldn't believe when she tried to explain her way out of that one so anyway now we go to the same college and she wants me back frick that lucy frick that sorry for the rant nothing to be sorry about freaking lucy she memorized my class schedule and the time it took to walk to my dorm from each class so she would know exactly when to knock on my door every day sounds like project management material right there the clinginess pretty much all he wanted to do all the time was cuddle in bed watching a tv show etc if i said i wanted a break just to chill out to surf the internet an hour he got upset because he didn't know how i could just ignore someone who loved me and wanted to be with me like that which i found weird since but my definition chilling out and doing different things in the same room together implies in my mind you're together yeah that one lasted a full six months until i called it quits because he wasn't growing out of it dude proceeded to send me crazy emails for longer than the actual dating lasted when she told me she looked forward to being paid each month because it reset her bank balance back to roughly zero every month she would spend up until and often over her overdraft limit and made no attempt to actually dig herself out of perpetual debt that was just one thing that comes to mind she was going through a divorce at 22 i figured everyone makes mistakes no big deal nope despite being charming as all heck she was freaking crazy my dad went through two divorces with the same woman before the age of 25 then he met my mom and they are still married 20 years later i need someone to care about me right now right now not in a month when she goes back to her boyfriend across the country i didn't care still do here's what i tell myself when i think about an ex she's not thinking about you so stop thinking about her women are a bunch of liars and cheaters who only like bad boys except for you of course i chalked it up to his past girlfriend who cheated on him and left him turns out he was the liar and cheater the whole time we were together only found this out after he dumped me and the kicker decided i was a w for moving on with my life dating others over a year later when he was the one who ended it between us in the first place that's when it finally dawned on me when a guy complains that nice guys finished last run away i had a boyfriend who cheated on me multiple times throughout a relationship in the past and always asked me and accused me of cheating on him it's the ones that are doing it that'll yell at you even if you've done nothing wrong i saw a video of her crying because she couldn't see me i was at my best friend's house for his birthday just the growing distance i kept telling myself that it would get better i thought she was just up to her neck in college homework which was pretty much true but there was still distance that wouldn't have been there had she still had feelings for me so when she got around to breaking up with me it was about 90 a surprise to me it was really a shame we had lots in common my last girlfriend and i were taking a trip to wooden court in france from england i was driving and she kept trying to tell me something but we were almost there so i asked her not to distract me as i was crazy tired anyway she started to really freak out and then i realized the biggest red flag i've ever seen and it was all downhill from there switzerland i'd only gone and missed my turn comma red flag comma downhill this is so clever i want to hate you but heck i might gold you later little comments about my looks or how i acted i caught on to a lot of things but i had no idea how far it went until i realized just how manipulative he was on our first date after ordering a hamburger the waiter asks her how she would like it cooked he replied all of it all of it all of it jerry invited his ex-girlfriend over to his house to talk because he said she wouldn't leave him alone which included wine and a sleepover now he asks me every day what time i get off work even though i get off work every day at the same time he's jobless frick this is probably a red flag hey yes long distance relationship red flag mid relationship so um i was wondering if i could get a buddy we were both really committed so i said no she said okay few months later she went to an orgy should have probably seen that one coming reading this made me feel nauseous i wonder what it was like hearing that in person ugg wife was having problems eating every time she ate food would get stuck in her throat and she would end up puking it up happened over and over for a few months getting worse we go on vacation for a week it's bad on vacation she has trouble swallowing more than a few mouthfuls of anything not liquid when we get back she gets her throat scoped and we find out she has cancer stage 3c she fought it for two years but died october 2012. if only we got her scoped right away those few months could have made a huge difference major red flag missed this went dark quick made me feel like my appetite for her was unnatural and that i was probably a freak as a result i began feeling i really was the odd one there and even worse when she compared me to everyone else boy was i freaking wrong even though i easily managed to find someone like me immediately after that b i'm still trying to fix what she kept bending and breaking all those five years we were together word of advice procrastinate on whatever you want but not this you see a red flag you freaking do something about it not long after we started dating she started to get upset about me spending time with other people it turns out she was isolating me so i wouldn't have anyone to turn to when she started beating on me on a regular basis i guess that it's a common thing that abusers do one time she mad because i couldn't come over to hang out i was still in high school and she lived about minutes worth of back roads away and so she called me in the phone and told me how she was talking to this guy while at school and that he was coming over she then went into detail about what all they were gonna do together i don't really like thinking about it and have never told anyone since i wasn't there after telling me all about how she was going to cheat on me she hung up the phone and ignored me until the next day talking about how big his dong was and how much better than me he was it ended up all being a lie so in my ignorance this was my very first relationship and i was an innocent kid she was also having a rough family life i forgave her for it completely this ended up transforming into other types of physical one time she straight up kicked me in the stomach for no reason and mental abuse at the time i was basically the high school football star so i just sort of thought i could take it and ignored it because i didn't really know how relationships worked and i thought i was in love because of this the relationship ended up going on for about a year until i just broke and with that break a different me emerged the person that came out of that innocent shell was finally tired of her crap i told her to frick off and that i hated everything about her and left her outside of my freshman dorm room building i ended up graduating and going on to play football at an academically strong college and cut off all contact with her i still cringe when i think about it but things got 100 times better after that my gf was a b to strangers never thought it was a terribly huge deal it annoyed me but she was sweet to me and i thought that's what matted turns out if you're b to strangers you're just a bee she told me her horses were more important to her than me red flag i missed she was a crazy horse girl friend of mine asked out a girl she replied with i couldn't date you you would treat me too nice i need a guy that will hurt me dude run do not walk away from that pile of crazy it took a long time to admit and even realize it was happening but the emotional abuse picking fights constantly always fabricating crap in his head that i had done said when i tried to stand up for myself i was told that i should be more respectful even if he was wrong i'm constantly walking on eggshells he's always playing games i'm always feeling emotionally drained he's slowly isolating me from all of my friends he's controlling turns out he wanted what he thought he couldn't have he was all about the chase when i finally opened up to him he didn't want it anymore freaking nightmare my previous partner was emotionally abusive and i'm so afraid of him exactly a year later i had to dump two dollars and fifty cents k on a lawyer to clear my reputation after she slapped me with a protection order because suddenly and magically i was the emotionally abusive person that she was afraid of needless to say i came out squeaky clean always pay attention to how they treat their exes because someday you'll be in their position she painted her face for her college football game she became a freaking crazy person each season she lived for football it didn't work but we stayed friends i went to her wedding recently guess what the freaking theme was pirate dude was an introvert i'm fine with that not the most social and didn't like partying but when he wouldn't greet my friends and family i should have seen that as something more that weird he eventually turned out to be a rude idiot that treated 95 of everyone he meet like inferior that included me after some time got feed up after eight months of the bs not an introvert just a regular butthole when both of my parents said they didn't like her and they told me that the future was going to be bad for us too of course i didn't listen but they were right the b was crazy i moved on as much as it hurt nothing is better than a healthy relationship like i have now so much more happy and fun she told me she had been depressed since her brother had passed four years earlier thought i could you know help her through it or whatever turns out seventeen-year-old quiz was not mature enough or sensitive enough to provide proper support to somebody who was suffering some pretty bad depression ended up leaving her worse off than when i met her the guilt of it all still keeps me awake sometimes to be perfectly honest if you are new to the channel you 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Channel: UE Stories

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Keywords: relationship red flags, relationship red flags you shouldnt ignore, relationship red flags reddit, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2021, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: V1_5ZrWM2b8

Length: 23min 33sec (1413 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 19 2021