People Share "You Can Keep Your Pants On" Stories - AskReddit

it was like running my hand through Bob Ross's hair has anyone ever removed a partner's pants only to be disgusted by what they had going on down there there was no way that monster was going to comfortably fit anywhere was about 9 inches long and about the diameter of the bottom of a pint glass it was cartoonishly big really I know some women and men are into that but I was literally scared he saw my expression and his whole face fell I could tell I wasn't the first woman who was freaked out he was super nice and assured me we could take it slow we tried a bunch of stuff but it ended up not working out that night I really hope he found a wonderful woman who could be more accommodating he tried his very best to work with what he had a micro member so small I had to part the pubic hair to see the head of his Johnny he wanted a [ __ ] I tried valiantly but there was nothing to put in my mouth it was like a clitoris in a bush with testes underneath he was really proud and said things like yeah you want this don't you which was confusing a friend of mine told me that a guy from his work had a one-night stand with a girl that wanted to take it out the butt so he did it and woke up the next morning rolled his foreskin back and found a piece of sweet corn about four years ago I went home with a chick once who had an insane amount of pubic hair I was not about to stick my face in it but was too kind and drunk to say so so I say something like damn dude I thought Bush was out of office she was pissed she put her pants back on and told me to leave I'm a butthole oh god I started to massage a guy's penis over his pants I pulled them down to see he was uncircumcised I pulled the foreskin back and it was loaded with smegma it was yellow and had the most foul stench it's a stench you never forget I was blunt and told him he smelled cheesy it ruined the mood smegma is skin and sweat and presumably bacteria built up around the head or underside of the penis it's easy to clean if you have access to water and is nowhere near as prevalent as some naysayers would believe in college I tried so hard to convince myself this girl who liked me was cute she comes home with me but I shared a bedroom and lived with three other guys so we didn't have anywhere private to go I decided we'd go down to the dank unfinished stonewalled basement where there happened to be a futon we start making out I can kind of smell her body odor over the mildew smell of the basement but whatever I trucked on put my hand down her pants and it was like I was running my hand through Bob Ross's hair fullest bush ever I just kind of slowed down and pretended to fall asleep it was a pathetic exit strategy I'm not proud my boyfriend and I both come from more conservative homes therefore we are forced to have our sexy time in his car one day his parents were gone and we were going to have his house to ourselves everything was perfect we had a bed plenty of time in our sexy bodies to keep us entertained we only wasted a mere few seconds getting settled before the hanky-panky began we were really going at it and that's when I decided to get adventurous I asked him to flip over so I could lick his butt we had already done it a few times and both of us genuinely enjoyed it he got on his stomach I spanked his booty and then proceeded to dive in letting my tongue wonder for a few seconds before silently gagging it tasted really weird like extremely so I spread the twins apart ever so slightly to discover that some nuggets of joy were left over from a poop earlier the day I just told him to flip back over with a whisper of wanting his dick again and left it at that when I told him about it a few weeks later he was mortified I joke about it from time to time I didn't really mind and I will continue to venture down there however it was pretty startling at the time at it many of you are asking why I don't have him shave or shower beforehand to be perfectly honest it doesn't matter to me because sex can be messy and gross if you have sex and not one strange smell Rises or something else happens at least once in your lifetime you are watching porn our bodies do other things like poop menstruate pee etc I just moved on Plus why make him feel embarrassed I love my boyfriend and I don't want him to be self-conscious my freshman year of college there was a girl I was trying to get with for a long time I finally got a date and it went very well fast forward a couple hours and we are in the bedroom and I take her pants off I cramp you not it was the worst human bodily smell I've ever experienced like she never washed it type of smell safe to say I lost my boner and just went home with my week ruined she gave great head so I wanted to return the favor I got to about her bellybutton and she spread wide in anticipation that's when the scent of a thousand rotting fish hit me I held my breath and slowly reversed my direction and gave her a small kiss before I made up some excuse to stop everything I figured maybe she was having a really bad day and gave her another chance about a week later my hand is down in her panties I pull my hand out to change positions when I was smacked in the face by the smell of fish death again I thought I was going to throw up because it was so strong and on my fingers I quickly made another excuse and rapidly made my way to the bathroom to wash and scrub my hand I found my way out of her place and stopped seeing her soon after to this day 20 plus years later I still operate with extreme caution anytime oral fun is involved it's sort of ruined my desire to go down on a woman unless I know a shower has recently happened not discussed it but a bit surprised when I first hooked up with my ex the night we met though we ended up dating for four years his pants came off and there was a bush of shockingly bright dayglo orange hair he was a ginger but I guess time and Sun and whatever had darkened the hair on his head this was neon orange I still remember that longest 69 and staring up at the dingleberry right in front of my eyes finally I held my breath closed my eyes and was able to finish that was the worst part about banging my ex she never cleaned her butt it made me very self aware about my own cleanliness though I always have wet wipes in my bathroom just to be double sure that I'm double clean down there and after I itch my butt I smell my fingers to remind myself why I shouldn't call my ex works every time wish I had done a junk check before choosing the man I lost my virginity to he was stubby but white really really really wide like regular condoms were uncomfortable wide I took it like a champ though and walked like a cowboy after a long summer of rustling cattle had a nasty surprise in high school had hooked up with a freshman at a party who seemed cool she was funny smart and seemed into me made our way to the basement as all the bedrooms were occupied started making out pulled off her pants and went to town and immediately froze I could feel something small moving on my face no lights down there and I didn't want to freak her out if I was just imagining things so I casually ran my fingers through her muff came away with lice lice all over my hand screamed like the girl shook my hand like mad and bolted with pants still undone back upstairs to the nearest bathroom to make sure none of the lice were still on me needless to say did not get lucky though I decided to go down on my now ex-girlfriend after we'd been together for three or so months at first she said that she didn't like it when guys go down there but she told me later when she was drunk that the truth was that she's never even received cunnilingus before and was just scared of new things so anyways I convinced her that it's all fine nothing to worry about and I start moving down towards the Beltline undoing her fly etc and she's all like you know that's sweet but you really don't have to do that if you don't want to and I'm like oh no my pleasure etc I begin par for course with my intro routine everything is planned starting now to focus on the clitoris and after I've been working the [ __ ] for 2 or so minutes I moved my hand just a bit to nudge the clitoral hood a tad bit higher and what pops out from said hood but a big ol chunk of smegma yes smegma practically the size of my fingernail of the rare and elusive vaginal variety smegmatis vagina I pause but she hasn't seemed to notice anything truly awry and says again you know you really don't have to I am starting to see her logic so I duck out and up and play it smooth well you know I just don't wanted to make you uncomfortable is all the first time I went down on a girl never before had I broken through the stage of French kissing but that night my girlfriend intimated that she was ready to progress to third base that most handle and teasing Newman's land between pubescent exploration and adult pleasure I was hesitant of this jump in her comfort level but eager to take the plunge and received my first [ __ ] in return she stripped out of her clothes and I worked my way down her body about the time I reached her bellybutton I noticed a foreign smell lacking experience I passed it off as what of all the smells like as I kissed my way to the top of her full bush a creeping tingling dread formed in the back of my mind it wasn't a waft of an unpleasant odor it was a thick-set stench arising from her genitalia a mix of genital bow a stronger worse smell than that of the armpits sweaty post-workout scum the unrelenting reek of an unwashed vag and lastly the taste of menstrual blood this charnel-house of male arousal had seeped into and permeated all of her prodigious bush knowing that a bj was in store if I were to man up and fight my way through I held my breath and ate that vagina like a champ or as close as a virgin could have she enjoyed it and I told myself that this must be what they all taste like it must be an acquired taste or at least one that could become tolerable fellow guys I brought the rancid fruit to completion indeed it is the accomplishment for which I'm most proud if only my reward had been worth it this woman my girlfriend was equally an experienced she was also crazy when she took me into her cold wet mouth I could think of only one thing she could bite my entire member off right now and with that thought she began to go to work it was the worst thing I have ever felt toothy cold and timid she worked at it unflinchingly ignoring all signs words and suggestions for me until at last I pulled her head from my loins and explained to her that I simply could not come from her ministrations and it was time to stop I went out with this guy who was 30 years old and still a virgin and uncircumcised after a while when we started exploring sexually I was playing with his noodle and started to pull back his foreskin he stopped me saying it doesn't work like that his foreskin doesn't go back me being the experienced girl I was told him yeah it does how do you think you wash it you do wash it don't you he never did I too scared to even look apparently he was never taught to pull his foreskin back to clean it once my pants came off and a guy said why are you so hairy I was trimmed but there wasn't too much honestly I was mortified a while later the next time I knew I was hooking up with a guy I shaved pants came off and he said where's all your hair I'm pretty sensitive to smell I have an ex-girlfriend who once made my Jeep smell like beef jerky when she spread her legs years later I was dating someone and the first time we took it to the bedroom she was on her period and it didn't smell great either I figured it was just because of the period and waited a couple of weeks the next time we had sex I was about to give her oral and started laughing she asked why I was laughing and I said I have no idea how to tell you without hurting your feelings or making you upset she asked do I smell bad yeah you don't smell great right now Oh mind if I take a quick shower it's been a long day and I didn't get to shower this morning ever since then she recognized my olfactory sensitivity she showered before every time we had sex still does I married her worst smell ever but it was the first time for both of us and she had crippling self-esteem issues and was extremely nervous and had some issues revolving around sex and all that it really didn't feel like a big deal to me that it was my first time doing anything and I really wanted to make this a good first experience for her so I fingered her to orgasm anyway my hand smelled like rotting for days no matter how hard I scrubbed glad I could give her a good first experience though I think it was worth it in the end met a girl and had fooled around before this time things are getting hot and heavy and we get down to our birthday suits this awful stench reaches my nostrils the kind of smell that instantly brings to mind the smell of waking up covered in puke after a long night of drinking literally this girl's nether region smelled like fermented puke almost making me gag at the stench and wondering how in the hell that smell could occur from down there did I try and get out of the situation hell no I still ate that veg out and did her till she couldn't walk real men don't back down from a challenge when I was in my 20s I had the outrageous good fortune and luck to meet a bunch of professional and amatuer web models at a bit of an impromptu gathering from a forum we all frequented I was the only guy who showed up without a girlfriend holy hell I was so scared and nervous but I managed to be cool enough that a day later one of the models who has her own solo site private messaged me we start talking hit it off and we make plans to get together we went on a nerd date to a museum and got some dinner then when we went back to my van yeah I highly recommend this form of transportation things got a bit more intense we start fooling around things move to the backseat area I get a nice bj and decide to return the favor and I finger her the smell was pretty strong and I had been exposed to only two vaginas at this point so I was not sure if it was normal or not drop her off go home and the smell really starts to get to me on my long ride home I couldn't wash the smell out with water and soap and I ended up dumping about half a bottle of fantastic into the upholstery in an attempt to conquer the smell in the morning then wreaked of fish guts and for the next two weeks people who got in my van would complain finally it faded unless you put your nose into the part of the seat where her crotch was but who does that did I learn my lesson obviously not where this wouldn't be a good story she was super hot and I see dozens hell maybe hundreds of guys fawning over her daily on tumblr Facebook you name it guys who would give their first and second born to be with a girl like this and they have no idea about the disgusting fermented rotten core inside this sexy peach of a girl we decide to hook up again in my mind I'm telling myself oh she was probably just sweaty maybe that was period smell like I don't know and I don't want to believe it we get a hotel room I play a mature soft porn photographer for the day we go into the chlorinated pool then back to the room at this point I'm thinking no way can there be any stank at this point and boy was I wrong I was working my way down with some foreplay with the intention of performing my very first cunnilingus she spread her legs and I got a blast of such a horrifying I'm almost becoming sick reminiscing about it I bail on that idea slap on a condom and decide to keep at it I'm no quitter and this isn't just a once in a lifetime opportunity most people don't even get this lucky just to put this in perspective I'm a nerd who is banging some hot web model that I had been crushing on for years before she even knew I existed and she basically approached me I guess maybe I know why so during the course of thrusting that smell works its way up to my nostrils until the only thing I can smell or even think about is this chicks rotten Crypt Gooch I lost my boner didn't know what to do turned on The Big Lebowski and fell asleep semi awkward in the morning but I got to play porno photographer again then dropped her off and said my last goodbyes yikes also she gave me a curable STD on the plus side I've since found out that smell is not normal and found a lovely woman with a normal smelling vagina thanks for listening to another episode of how to keep a basic level of body hygiene hit the subscribe button and activate the notification bell and remember a certain level of smell can be natural and those people who try everything should not be judged but the ones who don't clean themselves properly well

Channel: Radio TTS

Views: 1,398,298

Rating: 4.9121623 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, best of reddit, reddit cringe, reddit stories, reddit top posts, updoot reddit, reddit story, reddit and chill, reddit compilation, reddit stories 2019, askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit funny, funny reddit stories, reddit video, down there care, my down there smells bad, down there odour, down there bad surprises, fish smell in pants, boyfriend smells bad down there, junk smells, disgusting oral experience, disgusting oral stories

Id: KCk4sny4T5A

Length: 16min 43sec (1003 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 03 2019