Paul Chappell: With All Due Respect

take your Bibles tonight and turn to Ephesians chapter 6 for our scripture reading time Ephesians chapter 6 and if you would please stand as we approach the reading of the Word of God and I'm excited also to welcome some of our new members tonight boy the Lord's brought some wonderful new members to our church and I thank the Lord for them and we have the opportunity to have the Lord's table together tonight and I'm very excited about that and I believe that in this day as lukewarmness often abounds spiritually that we want to we want to be red-hot we want to remember to encourage one another in the Lord and the Bible says that we're to exhort one another and so much the more as we see the Day approaching and that's why here at Lancaster Baptist Church we have a three to thrive model say that with me three to thrive and we have our Sunday morning our Sunday night and this year our Thursday night these are just meals just to come and and and be encouraged and to be fed at the Word of God you know what we're fed most of the time junk gossip and junk and media and negative and all this and that and now every nerd ski in the world can get on the Facebook and this and that and say what he wants to say and a lot of times it's just stupid stuff and there's just stupid stuff junk and and you know what we have the privilege tonight to feast on the riches of the Word of God and and I don't know about you I can't get enough of it I need it I need it so much the more as I see the day approaching and so I'm glad we have our new members here tonight and just excited to be getting growing with you and I'm thankful for you and one of our new members this morning he's back here on my right-hand side and he came up to me after church this morning he said man he said you were preaching it this morning pastor and you know what I like a new member of the likes preaching that's a good sign and we want to just be a church that loves the Word of God now in this Sunday night series we have about three weeks left on this series called family life and we're trying to teach and preach about families and about children and the next generation and it occurred to me about a year ago when preparing for these messages that there were certain things that I taught to our church in the early years that even though I'm now have raised my family or even though I have discipled a generation here at Lancaster Baptist Church there there's need and cause to go back and hit some of these things again for example I preached an entire series against the charismatic movement and why we are Baptists that believe the Bible's our final authority now I've not preached that for some years I'll delve into some of these things in the new year I preached for many months from first Thessalonians the marks of a mighty church and I preached about the labor of love and I preached about our patience of hope and we talked back then about being faithful in soul-winning and service and and in our attendance and and some of those things are newer generation younger Christians newer families maybe those are not as much of a pillar in their heart and so we're trying to hit some things that the Lord blessed in the early years of Lancaster Baptist Church and that's partly what this is about and how many of you have pretty much raised your family let me see those hands right now your kids come on raise them up I know some of us say well I can't is good before but it's harder now all right now how many of you have kind of raised your families here at the church let me see that all right so when I first came we would have been the really old old people in the church now we've been here long enough to know we're still very young but when we first came that we used to have the over 40's fellowship for the elderly in our church okay and that has changed a bit so a lot of us how many of you are still raising your family let me see where you are all right so here we are trying to help the next generation and so Ephesians 6 is our text tonight beginning in verse number one and we'll read tonight verses one through three children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right honor thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth let's pray together Father we thank you and praise you for the privilege tonight of opening your word and we recognize that you have ordained the local church and you have ordained the family as an institution that you have designed to bring out the next generation in your ways and so help us in this series to continue learning how to do your work in the family life and give us wisdom for children for grandchildren for generations and we ask and pray this in Jesus name Amen you may be seated whatever happened to good old-fashioned respect for authority in America whatever happened to the day when you would say hello to a teenager and he would drop what he's doing look you in the eye and say yes sir in fact whatever happened to the day when young people would say yes ma'am and no ma'am yes sir and no sir whatever happened to the day when it was deemed disrespectful when your parents were speaking to you and and you were just doing something on your phone whatever happened to the day when a mother said to her child son I want to have a word with you and the child dropped the technology and looked the mother right in the eye and said yes ma'am whatever happened to that day whatever happened to the day when a police officer was respected in the way he or she should be respected whatever happened to the day when you could go into a store and if you weren't just the quick sale still somebody was respectful and patient toward you whatever happened to the day when America wasn't filled with frivolous lawsuits and threats to sue here and sue there and whatever happened to the day when people just treated each other in a kindly fashion whatever happened to that day what I believe tonight what has happened is that America has moved away from basic teachings in the Word of God you see the fact of the matter that if we would just come back to the book we would find respect would lift up in America once again in 1947 a sociologist and historian by the name of Carl Zimmermann studied the deterioration and the ultimate disintegration of various cultures he found that in each society the disintegration of the culture was preceded by the disintegration of the family amongst the indicators in his study was the indicator of fewer children and less respect for parents and Parenthood and so it is today that with the advent of abortion and with the advent of feminism there has come an idea into American thought that having children is a waste and one must not have children because it is a something that would get in the way of your pursuit to be what you want to be and rather than having an others mentality rather than having a family mentality we have come to this place where Parenthood has been viewed upon with less respect and having children has been viewed upon with less respect hence children oftentimes have less respect for their parents as well and the indicators are well known in our society recent videos have gone viral on the internet showing preteens finding an elderly woman or an elderly man and beating them and socking them and kicking them for fun in the United States of America it's happening almost every day in our major metropolitan area the various degrees of disrespect are unbelievable even to seasoned police officers when they see the way that teenagers are reacting in the malls where they're running into malls and taking over the malls and stealing whatever they want to steal I dare say we may see some of that even this week in the United States of America whatever happened to the day when we would respect this is not my business this is his business and I don't care if the business owner is white Asian or black it's not my business to steal or to destroy I will show respect to that place whatever happened to the day when people recognize the house of God is a place to show respect whatever happened to the day when people would recognize that your home is a place to respect parenting is not a popularity contest if we are going to raise children who have respect then we must as parents have control in the home and we must set limits in the home and we must recognize that our children are not our partners they are not our peers they are children that God has placed into our home to train them up in the ways of the Lord now have have you ever thought about the fact that the Bible has much to say about honor and respect the Bible for example in Matthew 15 for commands us as children who honor our parents in Romans 13 7 it commands citizens to honor their government in first Timothy 5:17 it commands churches to honor their pastors and teachers in first Timothy 6:1 we are taught that employees should be honorable to their employers and by the way even the employers that are not always friendly in first Timothy 5 3 churches are taught to honor the widow and whatever happened to the day when a widow could be honored the Bible teaches that our bodies are to be honored in purity 1st Thessalonians 4 4 the Bible teaches in Hebrews 13 and verse 4 that the marriage vows are to be honorable and the marriage bed undefiled the Bible teaches in Romans 12:10 that we are to be honorable and respectable one to another I tell you again that respect in society is a reflection of society that is bound by biblical values and the liberal media can make fun of biblical values all they want but I'm going to tell you something that as we see increasing numbers of disrespect increasing amounts of rate increasing amounts of sarcasm increasing amounts of cursing increasing amounts of teenagers who are wanting and rebellious it is the result of moving away from this King James Bible that I'm preaching from tonight and so tonight how can we revive respect in our homes once again how can we together raise up a generation of distinctive character Laden young men and young women who know how to show respect how does that happen how can we see respect develop well I want to share with you tonight away from the Word of God to see it at least in your home my home in this church and that we might begin anew and afresh to raise up a respectful generation the first thing I believe we must understand in the family is that God intends for parents to expect respect we are to expect respect children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right all right and so the Bible gives us this premise that we should expect respect now the term father is used over two hundred and ten times in the book of Genesis alone God has ordained Authority in the home and as I said early on in this series we recognize there are many single mothers here tonight and God has given to you the privilege of raising children for the Lord and you have wisely sought out a church where the Word of God is preached and where there are strong men who provide leadership and modeling and mentoring for your children and to the single mother tonight I commend you for your spiritual insight to be in a church of this nature that has church more than just once a week where your children can have the advantage of such an environment but may I say tonight that God has called upon fathers to expect respect in the institution of the home it was Joshua and Joshua 24:15 who said but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord now daddies we ought to have this in our home that it's understood that we are going to be respectful towards mother it's understood that we're going to be respectful towards siblings it's understood that as for me and my house we will serve the Lord and they're not not to be a debatable thing and or not not to be a questionable thing whether you're gonna get to the house of God whether you're gonna be a commissions conference whether you're gonna be a thorough revival meeting in January whether you're gonna love God whether you gonna love your pastor what are you gonna come to the Lord's table service but it ought to be known by your teenager and by your children as for me and this house as the father I declare to you a declaratively state to you we will serve God now daddy if in your mind you're just not really sure about whether you want to be a Sunday morning Sunday night Christian you're not really sure if you want to be a disciple of Christ you're not really sure if you want to keep serving God to the same dinner and you're kind of thinking about that that window down the way when you can kind of slack off a little bit I'm going to tell you something that attitude will come into the hearts of your children because they will be passionate about what you are passionate about and if they see you respecting the Bible and they see you respecting God and they say you sing in the hymns of the faith they are far more likely to respect what you respect and so dads we must set the way in expecting respect secondly parents should teach respect proverbs 4 1 hear ye children the instruction of a father and attend to no understanding for I give you good doctrine forsaking out my law for I was my father's son tinder and only beloved in the side of my mother he taught me also and he said unto me let thine heart retain my words keep my Commandments and live thank God tonight that there are men in this room who teach your children to love God and to respect God and I am aware that there are some who's raised children have decided not to be faithful to the Lord and let me just say for a moment let me just say for a moment if you have an adult child that's not living according to the way that you raised them may I just encourage you tonight don't let the devil beat you over the head with a guilt stick you did your best and you were faithful and you have every right to demand that your children why they eat your food and live under your roof honor the Lord and all honor the ways of the family but there will come times when grown children will deviate from the faith and at that time I challenge you with two things number one don't let the devil beat you over the head with guilt and number two prays that they get thoroughly right with God pray that one day they wake up as the prodigal did and the pigs pin and say to themselves what am i doing even my father servants have more than this I will go and repent to my father to my mother and so don't be discouraged but may I say if you have children at home you must take this spirit that says as for me in my house we will serve the Lord you must have the spirit of Solomon who here in proverbs 4 and verse 4 Solomon was able Rio Boehm was able to say of his father Solomon he taught me also thank God tonight for fathers who teach their children how to respect and how to be faithful we have tonight as well single fathers here men in this room who've been abandoned men in this room who've had a wife that's that's gone off the deep end if you will spiritually and said I'm not gonna be a Christian I'm not gonna live around a Christian home and there are some daddies here tonight in the house of God with their children raising their children up in the Word of God teaching their children by their very example that when it is easy and when it is not easy I will serve the God that has saved my soul thank God for daddies that have a little dedication tonight thank God for men who take their stand now children do not naturally exhibit respect it's just not natural children oftentimes will just kind of do their thing and play with their toys and play with their technology and be on the phone incredible amounts of hours and they're just not going to naturally be respectful it takes a father to say son when I speak to you put the phone down son when we're in the house of God we don't write notes to our neighbor and if you ever check a score on your telephone I'll throw it down the toilet it takes a father to lay down the law so to speak it takes a father to establish some guidelines in the family of respect you see respect is the single most important legacy that comes out of the child's relationship with a parent I am convinced that we have a problem with young people respecting shopkeepers and police officers and authority figures in this society because they never learned how to show respect in a place called the home and you can often tell sometimes you can sense that this young man had a father that taught him how to be respectful and how to look you in the eye and this young lady had a mother that taught her some basic things along the way and so parents should teach respect how do we do that first we do it through biblical teaching if the Bible says children obey your parents this implies then this implicitly shows to us that the parents were giving direction in the family and that children were to follow that direction and they were specifically teaching the children to honor their father and their mother and I believe today and we preach this in our Christian school in it West Coast Baptist College that students should be thankful to their parents to their home pastors and and they should be thankful to those authority figures that invested in their life and I'm going to tell you something you ought to make a big deal out of Mother's Day and a big deal out of Father's Day and do all that you can at the special times to show honor and respect in your family and then we also can train not only through biblical teaching but also through biblical correction now love is shown through biblical correction and I've seen the extremes and so of you and I've seen the if Paul on one side that can watch a child do everything but burn down the house and as long as he can still watch television he doesn't get up off the couch the passive parents and I've also seen the angry al the parent that wants to yell and scream and hit his children over just about everything all the time and I want you to understand that both of those extremes are unbiblical extremes God forbid that you would be a passive uncaring parent and God forbid that you would be an angry abusive parent nevertheless God has called upon you to be the teacher that gives the direction and to correct your child when they disobey that direction and that is not the responsibility of the state and I don't care how many books Hillary Clinton writes about it takes a village it does not take a village it takes a mother and a father who give correction and God has not told you to advocate your responsibility to your of your your children to a public school that's going to tell them that they can go in the girls bathroom if they feel like it or the boys bathroom if they feel like it God wants you as a parent to tell them what is right and what is wrong and when they disobey he wants you to set the direction straight say well this sounds kind of old school yeah about as old as this book right here love is shown through biblical correction you do not love your child if you tell them what time to come in if you tell them to do their homework if you tell them to take the trash out if you tell them to have a right attitude and they disobey you and you do nothing you do not love your child with the biblical up for even God chasing as those whom he loveth and according the book of Hebrews he loveth us enough to chasten us when we're disobeying and going off in our own direction the Bible says in proverbs 13:24 he that spareth his rod hateth his son but he that loveth him chaste of him betimes pastors in this era in America are hesitant to speak about this type of Correction and we recognize that this is a sensitive subject in today's society and so I'm not going to involve at this time in a series of recommendations with respect to how often or how you correct or with what instrument you correct and so forth let me just simply say we are absolutely 100% against angry parents that would just throw off out of a rage and grab anything and hit a child anywhere in an abusive type of a way we are against that type of a behavior but I also want you to recognize there are times with your children when they directly disobey you when it does help to apply to apply to the seat of wisdom just a little bit of heat so that they understand in no uncertain terms that they disobeyed and that they violated against the word that the parents had let down Hebrews 12 and verse 9 furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence would you say this with me Bruce 12:9 read it again furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us we gave them reference now I can't tell you if it's three little swats on the on the backside and I personally believe that God created an area that just specially designed for what I'm talking about right now and I'm not advocating again anger and by the way we we have always manifested in our own home of that if there's going to be a corporal type punishment they're going to go to the room and they're gonna think about what they did and we're gonna pray and think about what we're about to do and it's going to be done lovingly cautiously but also directly enough that they understand now just him simply saying that God has not only called you to establish the boundaries in the home but he's called you to make correction when they get out of the boundary look at you go play basketball and you throw the ball out of the court or he decide to push another player there's a man on the court with a striped outfit called a referee he's gonna blow the whistle and I might just add he's the authority there and by the way young men in the sports arena he ought to be respected as well and when he calls that when he calls that foul on you you don't need to start shooting off at the mouth at the referee what you need to do is raise up your hand in a sign of submission and agree with him even if you don't understand it you can talk to him after the game but show respect to the man with a striped shirt but when there is a foul made there's someone to correct the situation and what I'm saying is that in the home when there's a foul may the father is to correct the situation many times it's going to be simply with a word of admonishment sometimes it may be with taking away some privilege and sometimes it may be with some type of a corporal punishment that's done caringly and lovingly and thoughtfully but however you do it my friend you must establish respect in the home and I again tell you from the Word of God furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence now you do not want to break the spirit of a child but you do want to break the will of a child that will that says I'm going to do what I want to do no one going to tell me what I couldn't do me that right there's got to get taken care of and then teach the boy how to walk and most of the boys doing this stuff grew up without a daddy that did what I'm preaching to you right now and America is desperately in need of some daddies that will teach and that when the teaching is violated they will correct and by the way we are living in a day that proves that these little take a timeout families are failing sometimes your children don't just need a timeout sometimes they need a warm bottom to understand what you're trying to say okay Johnny I saw you say the bad word and I saw you spray paint the neighbor's house we're gonna take a timeout now you can only watch MTV for three hours today Oh aren't you a toughy boy don't we respect that I don't think so you see the very people that would say why they're letting criminals that commit murder out of jail in three years and that ought not to be and I understand your sentiment but also would say that when our children are directly disobedient we've got to correct them and remind them that they have been wrong now improper correction that is done in anger and losing your temper will only breed more anger and more rebellion and so we do not advocate that but we're advocating that the buck has to stop somewhere and God has placed parents in the home Ephesians six and four and ye father's provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord one of the early church fathers said it this way no matter how just your words may be you ruin everything when you speak with anger some of you that believe what I'm preaching just right on board with everything I'm saying you've got to make sure that when you're disciplining it's not always with an angry spirit towards your child by the way just about every parent here myself included it has had times when you just kind of got frustrated with something and if you're like me I even had times when I had to go apologize to my children as well but just generally speaking when these things are being dealt with make sure that you get a hold of your own first make sure that you pray for wisdom first because like a piece of clay you are molding someone's life at those very moments and you want to mold in the way that God wants you to mold so here's a teaching thought take time in your family devotions to ask your children to name a few ways to show respect to their mother or their siblings talk about how can we show respect you might say how could we show respect this week to someone that's helped us maybe someone that's been a blessing maybe some teacher maybe the school teacher how can we show respect to someone that deserves that respect and so I believe tonight that Christian families should expect respect would you say that with me please expect respect let your let your son know I don't care if he's a 15 year old who thinks he's got the world by the tail let your 15 year old son know son I will expect you to respect your mother and if you disrespect your mother we're gonna have one miserable night when I get home because you're not gonna sass your mother and you're not gonna abused your mother and you're not gonna give your mother a hard time I will expect you to honor your mother and just let that be clearly known it's expected in this family that we will give honor to whom honor is due notice secondly we must reward respect we must reward respect now very simply stated and will not spend much time here but I want you to think about this with me if you would we must learn to praise our children for their respect when they are respectful toward someone when you hear your child maybe at church and maybe one of the ushers comes by and maybe the esters not as diplomatic as he should be and most of our oysters are very diplomatic but maybe maybe the ester comes by brother Christian maybe you can help me here and you can be the teenager how's that sound come here for just saying and maybe come on down the aisle here and it come right here he's late to church he's been honest texting hey how you doing hey listen sit over here young man and don't give me any guff now I just want you to sit down right there and don't talk to me about Wilson just sit right there I don't think the yesterd say that way I think the ushers might say hey buddy good to see you have sit down right here real quick but let's just say the usher is just a little bit gruff and let's say the usher is not as friendly as you think you should be but your child says yes sir sorry I'm late all right come on let's try that but christen all right and so I'm not gonna be completely right and I'm the authority hey you're late what do you mean sit down right here don't you get up you're late all the time sit down right here no I said say you're sorry okay let's try it again trying to hit me you're late all the time you forget right here you sit right in the front row where you can get spit on by the pastor don't you move one single minute oh he said yes sir sorry I'm late let me tell you what if you have a teenager who knows how to say yes sir and sorry I mean take the kid to Disneyland buy him a Camaro I mean let him know he did something right see a lot of times if he didn't say yes sir we want to blame it on the usher but listen it's not just the circumstances around a person it's the heart within the person that comes out in these stressful times John said this and this is one of my favorite verses third John for I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in the truth isn't that a great verse on every parent to read it with me let's read it together third John for ready I have no greater joy than to hear that my children now when your children walk in truth when your children show respect when your children honored God hey when your children right there first tithe check and they're honoring God they get their first job at chick-fil-a or in and out or fill in the blank wherever it is and they write that first tied check you ought to strike up the band boy I'll tell you son I'm so proud of that man I can't tell you how thankful I am I murder my son Larry's first job was out here at the golf course I think he was 7 16 17 just shagging golf balls that's what he did little old me men tried to hit him when he drove by it was kinda like their fun thing they tried to do and Larry just shagged those golf balls and he'd make his 40 or 50 bucks a week and I remember seeing him get those those first checks that he had and writing out the check and a tithe hey I made a big deal over that man that's a way to go son you see the fact of the matter is that children need to be praised for doing what is honorable Solomon understood this proverbs 25:11 a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver proverbs 12:25 heaviness in the heart of a man maketh it stoop but a good word maketh it glad and I'm simply saying our children need that good word why when they come home and and they tell you something they've learned or when they want to witness to a friend or when they do their chores that's right and when they're obedient when they're when they're honorable to their mother give them encouragement for that Mark Twain said I can live for two months on a good compliment and you know the fact is that our children need that praise and then let me say this secondly provide for your children when they respect provide for them someone said help your children reach their full potential by catching them doing something right and listen when you see your child open the door for one of the widows at church listen when you see that happen you make sure you tell them Johnny I'm proud of you for holding the door for that dear lady that's a blessing to my heart as your dad even teenagers say I don't care if my dad says I don't care if my mom says they care deeply what you say just keep investing into their heart Psalm 84 11 for the Lord God is a Sun and a shield the Lord will give Grace and glory no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly how many of you thank God that we have a heavenly father that rewards obedience and does not withhold from us the good when we walk uprightly and god wants us to be like that he wants us to reward our children when they walk uprightly here's a little teaching thought for you when your child says yes sir or yes ma'am commend them when when your children honor the referee or the teacher or those in authority commend them when our boys were in athletics I always talked to them and I still talk to our teams about it when the referee blows the whistle sometimes from the side I'll say all right now hold your hand out hold your hand out you say but he can score 40 points and he can do us around a slam dunk listen I could care less about that if he doesn't respect authority we got an MBA full of men who can slam dunk who respect no one they don't respect God they don't respect women they don't respect the referees they don't respect the house of God they don't respect the men of God they don't respect the Word of God listen my friend any idiot can slam dunk a basketball but it takes a real man to show respect when respect is due and we need to teach our to him by the way you need to teach them to respect the coach when the coach doesn't coach like you think they should brother Beeson always says why do you bring that up he just looks like he needs the preaching that's why there were times our boys played a lot there were times that our boys played a little less but the fact of the matter is and God knows my heart on this all my boys ever heard about their coach was aren't we lucky to have these coaches boy thank God we've gotten in like brother Hannah we've got men like brother Beeson we've got men like brother hey oh thank god we've got these godly men that are helping us out and wow what a blessing that they could be our coaches and and and they might and they might have said no I don't recall them they might have said but they made me run too much or they didn't play me as much or somebody that didn't have deterrant that I think I have and you want to know something never one time did I run down the coaches in front of my boys why I wanted them to respect the authority in their life and so we must reward respect expect respect reward respect notice finally show respect parents people do what people see let's say it together people they do what they see and so we ourselves must show respect first parents should respect the authority of the word of God can I get an amen to that dad's you said I'm the head of this house congratulations well I have the authority in my house wonderful but always remember something that every one of us who are in authority are under Authority we are under the authority of Almighty God and we will give an account to God Hebrews 13:17 I will give an account for this church that's why I preached the way I do and that's why I want to have a strong start January the 4th and that's why by the grace of God I want to keep my hand to the plow and not throttle back and keep this church an old-fashioned fiery fundamental church until Jesus comes I'm gonna give an account one day for it I don't care if it harelips the Pope I'm gonna be faithful to the Word of God for this Lancaster Baptist Church may I say that ought to be your spirit towards your home you ought to have a heart for your home and parents should respect the authority of scriptures Romans 13:1 let every soul be subject under the higher powers for there is no power but of God the powers that be are ordained of God whosoever therefore resisteth the power resisteth the ordinance of God and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation we must respect the Word of God parents the Bible teaches us how to behave baba teaches how to love our spouses the Bible teaches us our right attitude towards church and and towards the lost and in every area of life the Bible speaks and we are to listen and the Apostle Paul said in first Corinthians 11 and verse 1 he said to his spiritual children follow me as I follow Christ now again sometimes I'm not following no man well Lottie doc no one's gonna control me though you're proving that right now not even the Holy Spirit's gonna control you did you know that there's nothing unbiblical about following a man who is following Christ I told our church 29 years ago when I candidate it I said I'm not gonna be a perfect pastor I've my promise but I said I'm gonna do my best and I believe I've kept that promise as well and I said I'm gonna ask you to follow me and help me as long as I'm faithful to the Word of God as long as I'm faithful to my wife I ask you to help me and follow me in this ministry and that's what Paul said he said follow me as I follow Christ now moms and dads you must say the same thing to your children you must say follow me and you can tell them I'm not gonna be a perfect parent I'm not a perfect Christian but the best I know how I'm gonna read the Word of God and pray the best I know how I'm gonna love God and be faithful in church and the best I know how mom and I are gonna try to keep our marriage strong and the best we know how we're gonna pray for our pastor the best we know how we're gonna get you in that Christian school and the best we know how we're gonna do what God has called us to do and a parent on or to say no now Johnny now Susie as I'm following Christ I expect you to follow me you see but parents must first follow the Word of God it's so vital that we follow the admonition secondly parent should show their respect to one another now children who see their parents respecting the Bible will also respect the Bible but children must also see their parents respecting one another the greatest gift that a father can give to his children is to love their mother and to respect the mother now may I say first of all wives respect your husband and I'm gonna go out on a biblical limb here respect your husband when he's not as respectable as you think he should be the Bible teaches that a wife is to be submissive to her husband as unto the Lord that does not mean the husband replaces the Lord that's not what it means at all and it does not mean that a husband always deserves his wife's support it doesn't mean that either it means that a wife is supporting her husband as unto the Lord she's saying Lord I'm doing this for you I'm not doing it for him I'm doing this for you I'm gonna show respect to my husband because you have taught me to do that and there are men in this room tonight who are saved because when you were unsaved you had a wife that came to Lancaster Baptist Church and she kept loving you and helping you and encouraging you until one day God showed you that you needed what she had and because she followed you and loved you even when you didn't know the Lord now you have the Lord and that's the way it should work Ephesians 5:33 nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband I know what some of you sayin oh great what do I mean what do I have to say when it comes time from work welcome master your hot bubbly bath awaits you your roast beef is on the stove for you well that would be better than that would be better than no words at all hey it's a good thing when children see a man come in from work and the man goes to his wife and the wife comes to the man and they embrace and they say I missed you today that's a good thing children need to see and they need to feel the security of that at home now bubble bath and rose peace not bad either just saying but I mean you know you take what you can get right children need to see respect they my children your children need to see me respect my wife and they need to see a wife respect it's a scary thought but your children will be about as good of a spouse as you have been show respect in your home husbands respect your wife one psychologist in marriage relationship expert John Gottman says contempt is the single most important sign that a marriage is in trouble and it is the greatest predictor of divorce contempt and I've seen it when I see a woman that has contempt for her husband aah I'll just tell you right now he is terrible he did this and he did that and and there's a contemptible spirit I know oftentimes it's about over thank God I've seen women over the years whose husbands were not even faithful who were hurt to the deepest inner resources of their heart but somehow by the grace of God in that moment instead of finding contempt listen to me they found Grace and listen to me their children are living for the Lord today and God was honored sometimes I hear men speak about their wives that all had the old woman contempt don't let the devil bring that into your relationship keep respect in your marriage if contempt is the greatest predictor of divorce then respect could be the greatest predictor of a strengthening marriage every time you show respect every time you say thank you every time you say sweetheart I'm really appreciate that what you did honey thanks for your hard work and thank you for the way you thought about helping us and thank you for this and respect for that you see the fact of the matter is that's edifying that's building the home listen if a dad is constantly but littling his wife what will the child say someday to his wife if the father is always saying laughs go ahead whining whiny go ahead I know I'm not as good as the other guy I'm not as good a husband as you think I should be go ahead say all that all you want listen if you're showing that attitude to your wife don't be surprised when your teenage boy lips off it or either because you taught him how to do it and that's why there ought to be some men who haven't been at the altar one time during this series you ought to come to the altar and you ought to go to your family tonight and you ought to apologize that you've not shown the respect that you want them to give to you because it starts right there gentlemen first Peter 3:7 likewise ye husband's dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor under the wife as under the weaker vessel and as being heirs together the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered there's a lot of preaching in that verse but notice just that phrase that says giving honor unto the wife say it with me man giving one more time giving honor I'm married so far over my head it's incredible I married a godly praying soul-winning loving great cook beautiful wonderful woman and like a dumb-dumb I probably don't honor her as much as I should but let me just tell you something every one of you men owe your wife God given honor and everybody's families different some of you guys are you know you're great you somebody you're gonna cook the turkey at Thanksgiving and that's wonderful nobody wants me to cook the turkey at Thanksgiving I really I'm glad my wife's gonna cook the turkey at Thanksgiving let me tell you something however it works at your house make sure wives you're grateful and honoring and husbands that you're grateful and honoring for whatever whoever does what make sure that it's seen say well if I start doing that now pastor my kids are gonna know I did it just because you preached about it what wouldn't that be terrible your kids would actually think preaching counts that actually think the Bible can change people's lives well that would be terrible don't start doing anything that I say wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if your kids could say you know I remember when pastor preached for a few weeks on the family and I've seen things were just different in our home homes a lot better now mom and dad are doing so much better now wouldn't that be a wonderful thing heard about the wife who scrambled eggs but her husband was not happy then she fried the eggs but he wasn't happy then she scrambled one and fried the other and he said you scrambled the wrong one Billy Sunday said try praising your wife even if it does scare her at first parents should respect the Scriptures parents should respect one another thirdly parents should respect the authority in their own lives now this is not an exhaustive list and I don't claim to be the complete expert on anything the Bible is the final authority but I can tell you some reasons that I believe I've seen teenagers rebel I've seen a ton of teenagers live for God I hear from them every day I counsel with one of our young men yesterday 32 33 year old young man about what city in California to start a church in I remember him as a young boy in this church junior high boy I remember him following me around all the time hey preacher preacher preacher can I go soul winning with you can I pray can I see it can I see your Bible he just want to be around the pastor and that's a good thing and then there's other young people that don't call me for council you don't normally ask your pastor if it if a skeleton or a rose would be the coolest tattoo pastors usually don't know about that kind of stuff well you know what I love those kids too I just kind of wait for them and when they show up just kind of love on them I want to be a blessing to them but I can tell you why I've seen I believe some young people rebelled and sometimes I do not have the answer but I believe when children here their parents criticize Authority it's just a short period of time before they begin criticizing that same Authority when they see their parents violating Scripture it's a short period of time before they begin to violate Scripture never forget years ago the boy that came to me just a little little tyke maybe nine crying because he had found pornography under his daddy's mattress very difficult for those children when children feel their parents do not love one another oftentimes there's seeds of insecurity that are being sown when children are not disciplined for disobedience when they are rewarded materially in spite of their behavior when when parents are so lazy that they think if I just keep giving stuff to my kid they'll really love me you're a fool they'll not love you and they'll not respect you they'll only be nice to you when they want the next thousand bucks when they are compensated materially by parents who just pity them for whatever reason and when they are allowed to participate in activities which they were told they would not enjoy unless they obeyed parents should respect the authority parents should respect the authority in their own lives let me give you a few thoughts here parents respect the authority in society moms and dads we're commanded to honor our elders likewise ye younger submit yourselves under the elder the hoary head is a crown of glory if it be found in the way of righteousness our children need to see us honoring those that are elders every year we have committee for leadership conference every June we have the spiritual Leadership Conference in every year for 25 years we've tried to honor pastors most of the ones we've honored are in heaven now and every year always one or the same one I always want to honor the same one while we sit in a circle and every year I say let's honor brother sis for something and they'll say for what I'll say just for being brother says figure it out is it as 50th anniversary instead of 60th anniversary for preaching his is 29th anniversary for getting a hole-in-one I don't care just find a way you know it's a delight to honor people who've been faithful by the way there's a law of sowing and reaping there are people in this church all over this auditorium tonight that you ought to just say how could I be an honor to them an encouragement to them who's someone had just been faithful for a long time I think of so many in this church and I always hesitate to name names but I'll name a couple right here I think of brother bill libel he was holding the ropes when I came here he was out of his own pocket trying to keep the bill collectors away he was being faithful to just keep the thing together when I came in here with a bunch of new ideas I don't care if it's harvest time I don't care if it's missions conference I don't care if it's heaven church on Wednesday Thursday Tuesday whatever just brother Weibull every Sunday night just hugs my neck and says thanks for being my pastor listen faithfully for all the years I've been here and for many years before that tithing being a soul winner being faithful listen we as parents need to honor people like that our children need to know that we honor those who have been faithful you ought to seek for ways maybe to have them to your home yeah some of you young families you don't always just need I'm glad you have friends I'm glad you stand together in the choir I'm glad you go to the same sending school I'm glad you think it's cool that your girls are friends or your boys play sports that's all good and that's all fine but how about getting out of the self zone just a little bit and find some elderly man whose wife's in heaven find some elderly woman whose husband's in heaven and just have them come in your home and tell you what it was like when they rationed out for World War two and when they served our country and when they first got saved and got baptized in the river hey your children need to hear some of that and you need to honor people like that honor your elders my wife would tell you we've had people into our home I remember once in particular a few years ago we had had some renowned preachers in our home and preachers of age and they were talking about their ministry and experiences and I believe dr. Rasmussen was there at the table as well and there was a young preacher and he would not stop talking maybe his 20s man he was telling everything he knew about how he had 12 in church once and how they had this gnat just going on on dr. Rasmussen I remember said something to me at the end of it like boy that young man had a perfect opportunity to listen and he missed it I've sat at that table sometimes till 1:00 and 2:00 in the morning you said well you're a busy man and you probably get tired why don't you just stand up say alright time to go you know why because if there's a 70 some year old man that wants to talk into my spirit I'm gonna be respectful enough to sit there and let him talk until he's done talking many times I have people that have never passed through the church of five and they want to admonish me and they want to tell me how better to do it and this and that and I always listen I'm always respectful and I always send back maybe a nice email and all of that but I'm just telling you when somebody like Aly Robertson wants to sit there and tell me how he did it for 40 years in one Church and how he baptised 60,000 people and how he never got a bitter spirit and how he paid every bill and how he loved his wife and how he was faithful to God hey I want to show honor to somebody like that honor your elders honor your government officials fear God and honor the king I'll admit to you it's been a difficult 27 years how many years hasn't been with President Obama Nell it's been a challenge I will admit that to you it's been a challenge for me as it was with Bill Clinton but let me say this despite my heartfelt grievance when any politician speaks against the biblical home and endorses gay marriage and abortion despite my grievance I still love America and I still pray for my president every day you see I want my children my grandchildren to learn how to respect authority you say well this president has shown a lot of respect he has he has people come in to celebrate Ramadan he does this and that for this and that group he's shown very little respect - evangelical Christians nevertheless he has a position and the Bible says that were to give on her parent's honor your elders honor those in authority let me say this give honor in the church honor in the church when I was a young pastor I would sometimes have men like Wally Davis come in to tell you what was right but maybe I was a little insecure to say it let me just go ahead and tell you that if it's in the Bible it's right whether Wally Davis or I say it Hebrews 13:7 remember them which have the rule over you who have spoken unto you the Word of God whose faith follow considering the end of their conversation I want every new member to get a hold of this but I want every one of you they've been members for a while to get a hold of it and let's read it together Hebrews 13:7 ready begin remember them which have the rule over you who have spoken unto you the word remember means to acknowledge now watch this you want to help your children you better have the right relationship with your pastor you want your children to listen in church you better teach your children to pray for pastor you better teach your children to say howdy once in awhile you better teach your children he's not just the old guy that yells on Sunday night you better teach them that he is a man who's watching out for their soul who will give an account to their soul and when he's excited or loud or when he say hey watch out on when he's saved why are you looking that way or when he say let's go this direction he's trying to help to leave the church and a parent that honors that office of the pastor is a parent that's helping their own family show honor in the church let me say this show honor two members of the congregation Philippians 2:3 let nothing be done through strife or vainglory but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves Romans 12:10 be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love in what in what honour preferring one of them say well I just don't think that guy's very honorable hit doesn't say make an opinion then give honor it just says be honorable one to another be respectful one to another I had a meeting yesterday with seven men in our church I called the meeting I heard that a few of them were disappointed with another one of them and I asked him to come up - to meet with me yesterday in the conference room at 2 o'clock they came in we had prayer I said I don't know if there's really big problem or not I just heard there might be a little something and the Holy Spirit is very sensitive I don't want to preach tonight and have the Holy Spirit moving down an aisle and then stop and be quenched because there's one man and another man not getting along and I called the men up there and I was very kind it wasn't I just said let's have a word of Prayer together I said now I understand that a few years back there might have been something said or something that was arranged but did it come through and I don't know the whole situation I've talked to this one brother and he's willing to apologize if there's been an offence may and so on and so forth Oh was such a sweet meeting I went around the room one man said no offense with me pastor I love this brother the other man said it was a little disappointing something to happen but it's water under the bridge no need we went around to the next man no the final man over here a man number 6 he looked at the man next to him he said no problem with me he's my brother that's what he said to the man that potentially was offensive he said he's my brother the final man gave a word of apology all the men began to weep and pray I began to weep and just thank God for the unity in the room because every man was preferring the other man I said if there's anybody here that feels that you have ought Matthew 18 speak it now feel like you'll have some money coming to you feel like you have something wasn't just right speak it now just go ahead and speak it and in a day when most people say well now that you mention it they've been bugging me for a while been talking to some people in my class about it the whole soprano section knows about it you might as well know about it in a day when people can be like that six men said he's my brother it matters more to me that souls get saved at our church there's no problem you know what they did in honor they preferred the other one hey I got a feeling those men with that spirit there's gonna be some blessing come into their home I've seen the other kind I've pastored those other kind oh well I just don't know why they do this and I'll just tell you right now that's cool I'll just tell you right now that church I'll just tell you right now that character by the way you're not helping your children you're teaching them how to be dishonorable not honorable Wow let's just go to another church and they do and they go to seven or eight other ones and then they go to none it's far better to have enough character to work it out like those seven men did yesterday that's the Christian thing to do well I'll just call my attorney you don't even have one you big pipsqueak I'll just get another husband really why don't we learn to prefer parents the Bible teaches us to respect the authority of Scripture respect one another parents should respect the authority in their lives some of you going I thought this was about telling the kids to be respectful you're just telling us to be respectful oh I think there might be a cause in effect there finally parents should show their respect to their children that they may teach the young women to be sober to love their husbands to love their children Paul said to the church at thessalonica but we were gentle among you even as a nurse cherish with her children would you say that verse with me but we were even as a nurse some of you might remember this story doctor gets told he told about being a little rebellious in his teen years he told about his dad his dad as you've probably heard dr. Getz say was a dairy man who milked cows for a living he told about a time when his dad brought him into the barn and he looked at his son and he said John and he began to cry and he said your sin makes me sick and he told how God smote his heart with that parents would you make sure with your children that you're respectful to them that when there is something that's wrong it's not always emotions and yelling and cursing but that you would be gentle with them as a nurse cherishes her children all they need to see the firm side of correction but they need to know the loving side of admonition loving parents will respect not to mean they're children here's a few teaching thoughts talk to your children about people who do respectable things talk to your children but people who do respectable things someday it might be in the news you might read about someone in the holidays that finds $10,000 and takes it back to the person that owned it you might see someone in the church that's been a bus captain for many many years you might see someone that offered forgiveness listen when you see a good example use it as a teaching moment help your children create a note of appreciation or gratitude for someone who Labor's on their behalf by the way parents have enough character to honor the teacher even the teacher that didn't give straight A's to Johnny because in doing that you are teaching your children something far more important than making straight A's amen say well I'll be plenty nice to people that are plenty nice to me what about that preferring one another thing you see don't major on your slight differences with authority look for the good and praise it our children are not perfect and our grandchildren are far from perfect I'll tell you that right now little Chandler needs to get saved I'm just telling you he's - he walks into my house and he starts demanding what he wants papa Nana and they cannot eat candy at their house my daughter Danielle she has fruit vegetables and that type of thing she's trying to help with the dental bill all but Chandler came over last night and I mean Nana has cookies in candy and the boy just man he had a mouthful of it instantly he was loving that and then he had to spit some of it out and he was hating life when he had to spit some of those cookies out and I I do pray for the salvation of our grandchildren but I have four children who respect their parents and I tell you there's no price to be paid for that and I'm not worthy of it but there's three things we've tried to do first we have expected their respect secondly we have rewarded their respect and thirdly we have shown them how to respect and may God help us to teach respect to this generation

Channel: Lancaster Baptist Church

Views: 3,652

Rating: 4.9411764 out of 5

Keywords: Paul Chappell, Family Life, Preaching, Family, Parenting, Respect

Id: g2ArYkxMMHI

Length: 67min 47sec (4067 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 07 2016