Asalamu alaikum Qur'an Weekly, Today in the 8th juz I want to share with
you one small reflection from ayah 151 that has to do with our parents. And I know Sūrat
Al-'Isrā', surah number 17 has just beautiful advice about parents, probably one of the
most comprehensive passages in the Quran dealing with the rights of parents. But there is something
about this ayah that really gets me. The ayah begins 'قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ
مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ' (Qul Ta`ālaw 'Atlu Mā Ĥarrama Rabbukum`Alaykum)
-- tell them, the Messenger is told, come on, let me read on to you, recite on to you
what your Master has made impermissible for you. Let me tell you what is made impermissible
by your Master, by your Rabb. So the ayah is supposed to be including things that are
impermissible, that is what you are expecting because the ayah begins, "let me read to you
what is impermissible. Make a list of these things." 'أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ
شَيْئًا' ('Allā Tushrikū Bihi Shay'āan) - and that you won't do shirk with Allah -- number
one. I'm going to skip one and say 'وَلَا
تَقْتُلُوا أَوْلَادَكُم مِّنْ إِمْلَاقٍ' (Wa Lā Taqtulū
'Awlādakum Min 'Imlāqin) - That you're not going to kill your children because of bankruptcy
'نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُكُمْ وَإِيَّاهُمْ' (Naĥnu Narzuqukum Wa 'Īyāhum) -- we provide
you and we provide them, don't kill children because of bankruptcy. That's number two. 'وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الْفَوَاحِشَ
مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ' (Wa Lā Taqrabū Al-Fawāĥisha
Mā Žahara Minhā Wa Mā Baţana) -- stay away from all forms of shamelessness, whatever
is obvious of it and whatever is hidden of it, any form of shamelessness and lewdness
and indecency, stay away from it. That's number three. Just to review: don't do shirk with Allah,
don't kill children out of bankruptcy and don't engage in any form of shamelessness. 'وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا النَّفْسَ
الَّتِي حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ' (Wa Lā
Taqtulū An-Nafsa Allatī ĤarramaAllāhu 'Illā Bil-Ĥaqqi) -- don't kill a person
without justification, don't engage in murder. You have no right to engage in murder without
'الْحَقِّ' (Ĥaqqi)- without the right and the right is executor by the court of
law. So there are major, major things that we are stopped from in this ayah and at the
end of it 'ذَٰلِكُمْ وَصَّاكُم بِهِ' (Dhālikum Waşşākum Bihi) -- that
is what He counsels you with, 'لَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ' (La`allakum Ta`qilūna)
-- so you can apply your intellect. Allah is applying this, giving us this counsel
but in the middle of it all He said, 'وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا' (Wa Bil-Wālidayni 'Iĥsānāan)
-- and I am literally scratching my head because it says 'وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ
إِحْسَانًا' (Wa Bil-Wālidayni 'Iĥsānāan) -- be the best you can possibly be to both
parents. I thought the ayah is not able commands its about prohibitions. Everything in the
ayah was a prohibition. Everything was don't do shirk, don't kill a person, don't kill
your children, don't go near shamelessness, don't kill a person without having justification,
everything is a 'don't'. The only do in the ayah is goodness to parents. You know why
that is rhetorically so powerful? Because Allah is now saying, anything short of the
best to your parents you better not do. There is no other commandment in Islam where we
have to do our best for it to be acceptable and that if we don't do our very best then
we are actually in sin. There is no commandment in Islam except parents. Except parents. Allah
doesn't say you have to have 'إِحْسَان' ('Iĥsān) with Allah. That if you don't have
it then you're in the haram. The ayah is what is haram. The ayah is what is impermissible.
And Allah says 'وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا' (Wa Bil-Wālidayni 'Iĥsānāan)
-- both parents, you better absolutely be the best you can be. You better be good to
them under any circumstance and the other awesome thing in this ayah, and by the way
anything short of your best you're in the haram -- you're in what Allah forbade. If
I don't have the perfection in my prayer I am still not sinful technically, I should
work towards perfection but I am not sinful, I'm not in the haram at least. If I don't
have perfection in how I speak to people I could be better but I'm not sinful at least.
But with my parents, what about my parents should be perfect? What verb is it? Speak
to them in the best way. Deal with them in the best way. Give them the best kinds of
gifts. Be the most patient with them. You show patience with them in the best way. Which
action is it? Allah did not specific a verb, He just said when it comes to your parents
the best. 'إِحْسَان' ('Iĥsān). The best what? You know what that means? Don't
think of a single thing that shouldn't be the best. There is not a thing you can think
of that has to do with the relationship between you and your parents that shouldn't be the
best. Your speech, your thoughts, your patience, your attitude, your body language, your gifts,
your time, they should get the very best. And this is the form that is used in every
language virtually when someone is really giving you instructions and they are like,
'I don't want any discussions OK?'. So if I tell my children "silence". One word. Done. Then I don't want any discussion. End of discussion
there is no exception. I don't want to hear, "I'm a special case" or this doesn't apply
to me because I hate my dad or I can't stand my mom" it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter
'وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا' (Wa Bil-Wālidayni 'Iĥsānāan) -- when it
comes to both parents 'إِحْسَان' ('Iĥsān). That's it. There is nothing else and it is
made 'نصب على التوكيد' (Nasb 'ala al-tawkeed) -- I am telling you it better
be the best. It is like Allah is saying, "I'm telling you it better be the best. Nothing
short of it." And that is in this remarkable ayah. In which everything else was forbidden.
And by implication what is forbidden with our parents is anything short of the very
best. May Allah help us live up to this incredible
standard and really give us the strength and the patience, really the patience, to deal
with our parents when they become hard to deal with, when they become angry, unnecessarily,
when they make inappropriate demands from us and be sometimes even un-Islamic demands
from us, how are we going to navigate that? We're going to navigate that with 'إِحْسَان'
('Iĥsān) -- in the very best way we possibly can. May Allah give us the courage and wisdom
and patience to be able to deal with those difficult situations with our parents and
may Allah forgive our parents for the mistakes they make. بارك الله لي ولكم
Wasalamu alaikum Quran Weekly.
