How to Raise your Children? - Nouman Ali Khan - Animated

one of the most beautiful places you learn something about parenting in the Quran will be Surat Yusuf and with in Surat Yusuf specifically Yahoo Valley his salon all over the Quran he is mentioned as a role model parent yaqoob alehissallaam is mentioned as a role model parent you know Yusuf are they Salaam young boy sees a dream you all know the story right young boy he sees a dream it disturbs him who does he go talk to in the Quran and goes talk to his dad you ever see a teenage boy 12 year old 13 year old 11 year old even maybe nine ten sees a dream something bothered him first person he goes to talk to his his dad anything small goes wrong in your life especially a boy and you say maybe I should talk to dad about this is that what you normally do if it's a really big problem maybe you'll go talk to your mom and when you do the first thing you'll tell her is don't tell Dad but and then you'll talk about whatever it is you have to talk about the fact that Yusuf alehissalaam went and spoke to his father is already teaching father's a huge deal he has some kind of relationship with his child by virtue of which no matter how disturbed the child may be and the problem may be big or small in this case the problem isn't even a matter of reality it's the matter of a dream but whatever problem comes up I should be able to talk to my dad no matter what I should be able to talk to him my daughter my eldest when she was in preschool she goes to preschool she comes home one day and she comes and she's like three and a half four years old she comes home she goes to me Abba Yusuf is so funny some kid named Yusuf in the class he sounds like who's Yusuf tell me everything you know who's yourself and my wife's ID from a corner of her eye and she goes no mom can't talk to you for a second and I came over said what is it would you stay quiet and she took her and she and then she talked my wife talked to me later she said listen you don't think your child can see that you're getting upset I was like yeah I'm sure she could if she sees that you're getting upset next time when it comes to telling you anything about what happens in class will she open her mouth or keep it shut she keep it shut she won't say anything she's gonna hide things from you and it'll be your fault because you look like you got upset it's entirely your fault you can't close that door honor you have to just listen it's harmless she's three years old four years old what's the big deal relax calm down especially fathers guys especially fathers you come home from a long day of work you sit at home and all you want to do is nothing just wanna watch TV flip the channels watch news watch where the Dow Jones Industrial Average you want to check what's going on in the world even though you won't remember any of it nor do you care but this is your form of entertainment and your kid comes over your five-year-old comes over dad look what I made look what I did dad play with me come on let's do something let's play tag and they're talking to you talking to you talking to you what are you doing could you leave me alone trying to watch the mountains and you'll Kozma can you a potty bar can you get rid of him please I just came home from work I need some peace I don't need to hear this don't you have toys I want you go play with those same child ten years later he's 15 years old and you're picking him up from school and you say so son how was your day Oh what'd you do uh did you talk to any friends maybe what are you gonna go later somewhere what are you gonna do oh they won't talk to you and then you've got my come tell the Imam they you know did my kid doesn't talk to me yeah you didn't talk to him you didn't talk to him all this time you didn't have time you didn't create a relationship first how is it going to just come out of nowhere it doesn't and those are the ages by the way 10 11 12 13 those are the critical ages at those ages you know before then parent children are most obsessed with making their parents proud doesn't even matter what religion you're from this is just pure sight child psychology young children just want to make their parents proud they want to show their parents what they've done the biggest source of influence to them is their parents there's some serious trouble headed your way I bring up so that use of because at a young age is already showing respect and open communication that's critical for both parent and child how many of us are having dinner every night with our children and when you do sit and have dinner how many of us actually talking to our kids actually talking to our kids you know in the age of cell phones and texting and all this other stuff and cognitive dissonance you can't even carry a real conversation with another human being let alone your children but we have to become good listeners especially the fathers especially the fathers the moms naturally Allah has given them certain gifts like parenting comes more naturally to a mother Allah has given her that gift he just makes her nurturing soft caring concerned just naturally fathers have to work on it you're sitting at home your child falls down who gets up immediately who does that the father no father should never pick yourself up child dust it off nothing nothing that's nothing don't worry about it that's a little bit of blood mom will go crazy it's natural to her I'm telling the fathers here if we want our children to be raised in Islam the first thing we need to be is their best friend and that takes work it takes serious work parents here fathers here you but you guys have to get in shape I'm serious you have to get in shape not for yourself for your kids you come only your kids want to play with you and you just about pick me up throw me around do this you do a little bit of Daniel a of us got a lie down hold on yeah that's not how you raise kids you know taking our kids hiking playing sports with them taking in the backyard even if they're playing video games play video games with them play with them you know play the Wii with them Bowl wit I don't care it just does do stuff with your kids it's a critical part of opening barriers so they can talk to you about anything because I'm telling you when they reach a certain age the need to talk to someone will always be there you would rather that person be you not some non-muslim friend who will give non-muslim kinds of advice last comment I'll make with you Jakub are they his Salaam sons messed up pretty bad they didn't just mess up his car right they didn't just break the kitchen sink they didn't do some minor damage they left their brother in the woods that's pretty big these guys come into the house before Jakub are they said I'm showing him a fake blooded shirt what does he do oh you know what I was expecting if you don't know the story and you get to that point you're like oh ho this is gonna be bad these guys are gonna get it what comes next falafel and Jimmy I'm just gonna find beauty in patience when I read that as a father I could not understand it he knows they're lying he says I'm going to have southern why the question is why did Quran tell that it's a really important question because he's a really really really intelligent father we learned that from the beginning of the surah he knows his kids very very well they haven't even planned against Yusuf yet but he said watch out they might plan against you did he call it he called it like a play he called it because he knows his kids so he also knows there are times when yelling at your children will make things worse and the only thing you can do is patience this is one of those times yelling at them will not do any good the only thing left is patience Sabo and Jamil there's an age your children reach where all you can do is have someone and make lots and lots and lots of dua and then somebody will come up to me at the end of the speech and say brother I've been doing some but it's been like three days I've been doing suffer nothing has changed you can't put a timer on your supper guys yacouba's a salon has suffered does it pay off eventually do those kids eventually come around by Allah's grace they do right does it happen the next week six months from then a year from then two years and then ten years from it happens a while later right just trust a lion half southern at a certain point these are some basic teachings of a las book these aren't just stories these are the best of all stories why because every little bit of this story has things that makes my life better

Channel: Battle Ignorance

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Length: 9min 28sec (568 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 07 2017