Parents Catching Their Kids: All Hope is Lost..

parents of reddit what is the weirdest thing you caught your children doing my daughter had her door locked which is odd i gave her some privacy for a while but then i got worried so i made her open the door and she was watching a political debate she was 13. edit this was dial-up days so probably not pll in high school my sister brought home a book by ann coulter my mom was pee and made her take it out of the house my sister then snuck it back in and read it anyways my sister would have gotten a better reaction from my mom if she had brought pee into the house okay so this is a story from my mother i was around three or four years old and i absolutely hated wearing clothes we lived out in the country so she just let me run around naked one day she comes outside to catch me sitting on the windowsill pooping she said i told her i was a rabbit we had a cordless landline picked it up from the receiver to use it and there was nothing wasn't working so i asked my wife if she had tried to use it and she said no we were talking about it and my eight-year-old son chimed in maybe someone dropped it in water my wife and i looked at each other and kind of smiled we asked him if he knew anything about it and he said he had dropped in the toilet he swore it was an accident we laughed and said it's okay accidents happen don't think we really found out what he was really doing with it in the bathroom i have a friend whose child 4f is perfectly normal and a fun kid but for no reason and with no warning will banshee whale at a pitch i could not fathom before hearing it it is the most terrifying heart attack inducing experiencing when you are relaxed and not ready for it i'm sure she is just voice testing etc but frick me it's not good thank you for this laugh holy freak don't have a kid but apparently me and my sister were younger we found some ashes and decided to pour them down the air vent on the floor the ashes were my grandparents pet dog now snuffles will be with all of us forever years ago i lived in a raised ranch house in the living room was this giant window that overlooked the driveway it was prob five feet tall by ten feet long it was only about a foot off the ground in the back of the house was a set of sliding french doors i had two dogs they would run to the front window and bark if they saw anyone or anything if they lost sight of them they'd run to the rear doors i have no clue why i assume they think they might see them from that one my oldest was 2-3 at the time he started running to the window with them and going roof roof with them and would run to the back doors it got so bad that he was eventually at the window barking first and the dogs would follow we later found him playing with dog toys that i had to take away he also started crawling more than walking had been walking 100 fine the last straw for me was i eventually caught him drinking water from the dog bowl instead of asking for something to drink we cracked down and turned him back into a human after lol my daughter did this as well she'd even bark or meow at people in public the best was when i caught her in my bedroom completely naked wriggling around in catnip or when she was three and i caught her on her hands and knees sniffing our realtor's pant leg those were fun years lol she still loves animals but she at least no longer thinks she is one kids are great when i was nine and my little brother was five he really rustled my jimmies my mom allowed men to watch him for an hour or so while she went to the store our next door neighbor knew and if i needed help to go to her as brothers do we get into an argument and i ask him if he wants to play a game to calm down he said shaw and i told him to sit in the rocking chair i ended up tying him up in the chair with duct tape and said good luck getting out my plan was to do that for a few minutes and then let him out you know teach him a lesson i turned around and my mom is standing behind me and goes what the heck are you doing untie your brother my brother and i laugh about it to this day when my son was about five he was playing in the living room while i was making lunch suddenly i hear him making some weird wretching noises so i ran over to see what was happening he was on his hands and knees rocking back and forth and suddenly one of the cat's toys a little yarn ball popped out of his mouth i thought he'd been choking on it no he'd been imitating puss in boots coughing up a hairball from his favorite shrek movie so this was me but i used to sniff moth balls as a kid i dky i just thought they smelled nice nice enough to shove one so far up my nose that i had to be taken to the hospital to get it removed i no longer like the smell of moth balls right now would be my two one stroke two-year-old daughter watching herself eat frozen peas and corn in the mirror as well as opening her mouth wide enough to look at the chewed up peas and corn in her mouth when my sister and i were 10 and 12 we filled latex gloves with with mayonnaise and one with flour we kept them in a shoe box in the closet and would go in the end play with them like they were little squishy dolls didn't see it happen but managed to benefit from the consequences so i am the mother of four boys i raised them in a one toilet home add in my husband and i'm outnumbered five to one let me tell you when you live with that many males you get used to making sure that the seat is down your focus is solely on whether or not that seat is in a position for a safe sit so you may not be paying attention to the floor indeed the massive puddle of urine spreading from wall to wall may completely escape your notice if your eyes are looking to make sure your nether bits don't end up in the bowl so flipping upside down in the middle of the night came as a great surprise also surprising the two broken toes and dislocated finger i got from smashing into the toilet bowl it told me 10 minutes to wake my husband from sleep to help get me out because i was jammed in so tightly between the toilet and the wall plus my husband didn't want to touch me because i was indeed covered in the cold stenchy urine of a thousand bladders i may have accidentally kicked him in the face when he grabbed me by the broken toes to pull me out i regret nothing he was laughing not a parent but i had to tell this story i was in kindergarten and the educator told the class that we were all going to the bathroom so everybody followed him and we went when we all came back we saw that one kid didn't follow the group and stayed in the class when i looked through the door frame the one kid that didn't come to the bathroom was standing in the middle of the classroom next to a big turd his big turd i still ask myself why he didn't come to the bathroom if he really needed to poop and why he chose to do it in the middle of the room kid one teaching herself to note i awoke at seven o'clock on a saturday morning and she had half a 3d bear knitted we owned no knitting needles she was eight kid too eating inedible things examples lotion age 7 silica packet bead age 16 no reason except curiosity caught the same kid rubbing her nose on her pancakes because it felt good kid 3 head stands unassisted beginning at 11 months i made the mistake of freaking out when i walked in and saw her in the crib with her feet in the air and she thought it was hilarious so she's continued to hone the skill when i was young enough to be in a high chair my dad came home during dinner he'd been out fishing and set this bass on my tray i see it gasping for air and somehow connect that it wants a kiss so i pick it up and kiss it right on the mouth once i took a cheap skateboard keychain and rip the truck wheels off it was one piece and proceeded to shove them so far up my nose that my mom had to take me to the ear and hold my hand while the doctor pulled them out i was probably two at the time also at around two i was riding my tricycle around and somehow fell off the seat onto a bar smashing my labia well my mom always kissed my boo-boos and i got so mad at her not kissing this one i forgot all about the pain my younger brother once took a tampon applicator out of my bathroom trash didn't wash it and proceeded to use it as a scope on a toy gun of his my dad told me of this when i got home from school and i laughed and asked why he's letting the boy dig through the bathroom garbage he was in preschool my sister used to eat country crock right out of the bin by the fistful it got to the point that we had to hide the butter from her she was probably five or six before we could get her to stop my baby brother used to have this thing where he'd have to poop like right now suddenly with no time to find a bathroom well we were outdoors a lot so not a big deal we made sure to always have toilet paper with us except for some reason he'd always i mean always somehow get poop on his clothes and he was at the age that we weren't packing spare clothes for day trips seven plus so one day we're out fishing and of course he's got to poop dad suggests to him to take off his pants entirely so he doesn't get poop on them he takes them off sets them on the ground and poops on them like squats over them and shoots right onto his shorts i still can't figure out the logic on that one worst part is he did it so fast we couldn't tell him to move or grab the shorts away dude had to hang out fishing in a towel while his pants got washed in the lake parents always told me that i used to wake up in the middle of the night and point to the tv saying that someone was there not a parent but a much older sibling i 28 now 23 at the time used to catch my brother nine now four at the time taking bites out of blocks of cheese my parents were pee when he started eating seven dollars blocks of cheese like apples but i thought it was hilarious i'm not ready to be a mom yet obviously when my daughter was around two she come out of the bathroom and went to the living room she sat on the floor opened her legs and said mommy mommy my wee wee has a hole in it i think i remember the exact occasion when i discovered the same thing about my own body and told my mom kind of a jarring thing to notice at the time [Music] when i was a kid i learned that hairs had roots and figured it worked like the roots in plants so for a while i would pluck hairs from my head and try to plant them on my fingertips i don't know why i wanted to grow hair on my fingertips just thought it was weird and funny anyway i had to explain what i was trying to do one day when my mom walked in on me staring at my fingertips with hair stuck on them my cousin when he was a small child would come up and pluck a hair out of people's heads and walk off and quietly say dna nobody knows what he would do with the hairs not a parent but i caught my sister washing our parents new phones under the sink turns out she was giving them a bath that's nice of her to make sure their phones are clean for her parents not caught doing but my son sat up from a dead sleep and said mom don't look behind you then laid back down and continued snoring my back was to the window i didn't get much sleep that night while i'm sure it's not the weirdest one of my fondest memories is my mom coming into the living room with a small container of water with a glob of blue sparkly toothpaste and asking who was trying to turn the water blue with toothpaste it was me to this day i'm still impressed she immediately figured out what i was trying to do i know this is going to be hard to believe but i caught my 14 year old doing multi-variable factoring in his bedroom i thought he was sleeping completely caught me by surprise i heard this weird screeching sound so i went to investigate my son had his hands inside his shirt with his finger sticking out the sleeves he was pretending to be a t-rex making t-rex sounds while eating a sandwich he was 17 at the time this sounds like something i'll be doing tomorrow i'm not a parent but when my brother and i were little my mom walked into the bathroom to discover me urging my brother to poo wash as he was crapping on the toilet we were pretending he was giving birth my then three yo son was practicing his cursing he was using his dad's go to son of a b as he dropped puzzle pieces from the bed to the floor he'd drop one curse then drop another one change the emphasis and tone a little drop another wooden piece and so on i walked away it felt sadistic to discipline while laughing uncontrollably later i told my husband we had to really watch our mouths when my daughter was two she was obsessed with the land before time she wanted a baby dinosaur so badly one day she came to us so upset that she had killed the baby dinosaur she had hidden eggs from the fridge around the house and sat on one to hatch it nsw warning last september after a particularly dry spell after a three-week family trip my wife and i were getting freaky in the bedroom when i went to grab our favorite adult toy a rather expensive toy i might add 120 or so it was missing i freaked out a little bit because we'd only had it a few months and we were both really into the moment we opted to drop it and use another toy and search for the other in the morning it probably fell behind the headboard or something right the next day i dug through our room and just could not find it i looked everywhere i thought i may have been thinking i put it elsewhere prior to our trip eventually my wife said maybe we threw it away on accident when clean out out our toy box before our trip i wasn't convinced because we paid a lot for it and i don't think i would have done that but eventually dropped it and accepted it was gone after putting a bit of money aside i finally bought a new one in february last weekend my wife and i were getting hot and heavy late one night in the living room and decided to head into our bedroom and pull out some toys lo and behold our new toy was gone again it nearly killed the mood but we went on without it anyway the next day i decided to peek around in my kids rooms because i had a suspicion one of them took it after checking my nine-year-old daughter's room and coming up with nothing i checked my ten-year-old son's room first under his bed nothing but a bunch of clothes hangers trash and kids toys i decided to check his bottom dresser drawer because i know he keeps some toys in there lo and behold both of our expensive adult toys were in there plus some of our older toys i'd completely forgotten about i scooped them all up and hid them elsewhere in my room i've since ordered a new bedside table withdrawal as i can install locks on should be here monday but i'm not really sure how to confront my son about it yet find out what he wanted them for first could have thought they were horns or lord knows what this is going to get buried but it's so good last year one of my preschoolers four years old said harriers were hurting and itchy she was a little dramatic so we figured allergy's ear infection and called mom to let her know she didn't have a fever so mom said she would handle it when she picked up during nap the little girl is laying on her cot and has little gritty white pieces around her head i get a flashlight and shine it in her ear full of this stuff that looks like plaster i asked her honey what's in your ear her answer disney magic the week before her family had stayed in disneyland and at the hotel i guess she had taken plaster off the disneyland walls and stuck it in her ears when she got to the doctors mom came and got her as soon as i called he said her ears were packed with stuff on both sides orbeez plaster seeds from a tree all kinds of things they had to knock her out to get everything out but she's 100 okay now story from my mother in her words once i used to babysit my nieces and nephews because both of their parents had to work some of them worked nights too so i'd have them sleeping over at my house with my two sons one morning i woke up to find my fridge door open i didn't know who did it but someone had opened the fridge door and peed into it left the door open which also caused the food to spoil i got everyone together to ask who did it but none of them first up so the next couple of nights i stayed up to see if any of them would do it again sure enough one of my nephews walked into the kitchen obviously sleep walking opened the fridge door and went to pee i quickly grabbed him and then ran him to the bathroom before he could pee he was a deep sleeper so he didn't really wake up but he refused to pee in the bathroom he kept trying to go back to the fridge i had to wake him up i know that's bad but i couldn't have him peeing in my fridge after that i told my brother his dad about it and we stopped giving him anything to drink before bed once when my daughter was about four i took her with me when i got my hair cut she was sitting on a chair about 10 feet away i heard a lady say to her my you are a pretty little girl what's your name to which my daughter responded stop talking to me i asked her as soon as we were alone why she said that to that nice lady my daughter said dad you told me not to talk to strangers not really weird but certainly not expected daughter is 20 months old recently learned two things one what butt is means and two that she can crawl swim in the bathtub basically holds her head above water and pulls herself around with her arms while her legs kind of float normally i put her in the tub as soon as the water gets warm and i start feeling it easier to reach her legs to wash before they're totally submerged so she's often playing while the faucet is running a few weeks ago she was swimming got on her hands and knees backed up under the running faucet pushed her butt up out of the water and under the faucet stream and started bouncing up and down while saying butt butt butt and giggling essentially twerking under the running water we don't watch like rap music videos or reality tv or anything where she'd see that just came up with it on her own i worry about her future swapping dong pics with his best friend over facebook messenger they're six we put them on video chat because they missed each other during the quarantine didn't realize we needed to supervise it my two-year-old likes to balance things on other things i don't usually see him doing it but i find funny collections of things that he's managed to balance on top of each other i'm impressed with how good he is at it not a parent but what they told me i did i used to eat just butter just open the fridge and eat butter when i was around one i used to go to everyone and smell their socks i have no idea why and no that didn't lead to anything now at night i used to try to clean the bathroom and i always flood it and i always tried to eat cicadas what a weird kid i was i was six my little sister was three and our little brother about 1.5 they would always take off their diapers and run around naked because they thought it was funny well no one was watching us briefly and they found our mom's camera they started taking pictures of each other innocently not realizing of course taking naked pictures is inappropriate i was kinda weirded out so i went and got mom and she had this horrified wtf look on her face it was much later that i realized how much trouble she could've gotten into if i hadn't told her about it and later someone saw naked pics of them on her camera my sister and i also once mixed toothpaste into our chocolate milk and poured it into the tv speakers [Music] not a parent but when i was a kid i went to a gynecology appointment with my mom i was way too young to understand what that was so i just sat in the corner and minded my own business then the doctor brought out the speculum i thought it was a cute duck toy and asked the doctor if i could play with it my mother was horrified but the doctor laughed it off and said if your mom is okay with it you can have your own the doctor went into the drawers at the office and pulled out a sterile package speculum she opened it and handed it to me with a sharpie while my mom was getting things checked out i sat and drew a dumb duck face on the speculum i named him dr quackers and kept him for years strangely that was the one toy my mom would not let me take out on errands i walked past my five-year-old son's room to see him sitting bus naked on the floor bent over trying to suck his own dong i swear i thought i had a few more years not a parent but my sibling used to paint the inside of their ears with eye shadow on one of those applicators because they saw my mother use one of those cotton thingies my daughter was in her room about four years old strumming a guitar singing devil please come take my mother and don't put them beans in your ears my sister and i laughed until we cried not a parent but a big sister i caught my little sister with a glove filled with water in her hand sucking on it when it popped she ran to the bathroom and slides on the water that's on the floor one of the most funny and satisfying moments ever there was something strangely satisfying about drinking water from alternate sources and weird containers as a kid i'm almost positive i did the same thing once from balloons too not my child but my former roommate's daughter was about seven when she explained that she just ate a whole stick of butter one time the way she told the story was so funny cause she knew like what was i doing that's weird she was great she's still alive i just don't live with them anymore half an hour before a realtor was coming to do a showing of my house i was trying to sell while frantically cleaning house my four years old proudly came around the corner dragging a black marker along the wall i went around and found a long line all down the hall around a corner into his bedroom and found the beginning creative squiggle art behind the door i just had time to run and get the can of matching paint in the garage and run a paintbrush over it all then popped us into the car to get out in time before they came if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] so bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2020, parents of reddit, caught stories reddit, reddit caught, parents reddit

Id: JmkvTCJl5tk

Length: 23min 23sec (1403 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 22 2020