ANNOUNCER: COMING UP ON "MARRIAGE TODAY WITH JIMMY AND KAREN..." JIMMY EVANS: THE ISSUE IS NEVER ALCOHOL. THE ISSUE IS NEVER DRUGS. THE ISSUE IS NEVER FOOD. THE ISSUE IS NOT PORNOGRAPHY. THE ISSUE IS NOT GAMBLING. AND THE CHURCH MAKES A HORRIBLE MISTAKE WHEN WE TRY TO MAKE THAT THE ISSUE. THE ISSUE'S PAIN. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DEAL WITH THE EMPTINESS AND PAIN AND DEVASTATION IN YOUR LIFE? LET ME TELL YOU THIS STORY, AND IT'S A TERRIBLE STORY. DAVID HAD A SON NAMED AMNON AND A DAUGHTER NAMED TAMAR, AND THEY WERE FROM DIFFERENT MOTHERS, OK. AND AMNON LOVED HIS HALF-SISTER. HE FELL IN LOVE WITH HER. IT WAS A SICK KIND OF A LOVE. AND AMNON WAS A BAD GUY. AND HE FORCED HIMSELF, ULTIMATELY, ON TAMAR. AGAINST HER WILL, HE FORCED HIMSELF UPON HER, DEVASTATED HER. SHE LEFT HIS HOUSE AFTER BEING VIOLATED, AND SHE TORE HER SLEEVES, WHICH WAS A SIGN OF DEEP GRIEF AND BROKENNESS. BUT HER FULL BROTHER WAS ABSALOM. AND ABSALOM TOOK TAMAR, COMFORTED HER, TOOK HER INTO HIS HOME. DAVID FOUND OUT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AND DID NOTHING. FOR TWO YEARS AFTER FINDING OUT ABOUT WHAT HIS SON AMNON HAD DONE TO HIS HALF-SISTER, HIS DAUGHTER TAMAR, DAVID DID NOTHING. AND ABSALOM WAITED FOR TWO YEARS. BUT FINALLY, HIS HATRED FOR AMNON CAUSED HIM TO MURDER AMNON. HE SET UP THIS FEAST WHERE HE DREW AMNON AWAY FROM DAVID, AND THEN KILLED HIM. AND THEN, ABSALOM FLED TO GESHUR AFTER KILLING AMNON. HE LIVED THERE FOR 3 YEARS. AND AFTER ABSALOM KILLED AMNON--FOR 3 YEARS, WHILE ABSALOM WAS IN GESHUR, DAVID DID NOTHING. THERE WAS NEVER A TRIAL. THERE WAS NEVER A SEARCH PARTY OR A POSSE. THERE WAS NEVER A FAMILY MEETING. THERE WAS NEVER A CONVERSATION THAT'S EVER RECORDED IN THE BIBLE. DAVID JUST DID NOTHING. AND FINALLY, IT'S 5 YEARS AFTER AMNON VIOLATED TAMAR, 3 YEARS AFTER AMNON HAD BEEN KILLED AND ABSALOM HAD FLED. DAVID HAS STILL DONE NOTHING. AND JOAB, THE COMMANDER OF HIS ARMIES, TRICKS DAVID INTO BRINGING ABSALOM HOME. HE SENDS A WOMAN WHO IS PRETENDING TO REPRESENT HER TWO SONS--ONE SON KILLED THE OTHER SON. IT'S JUST A STORY TO GET DAVID TO HAVE MERCY ON ABSALOM, AND IT WORKS. AND DAVID BRINGS ABSALOM HOME TO JERUSALEM BUT WON'T TALK TO HIM. FOR TWO YEARS AFTER ABSALOM COMES BACK TO JERUSALEM FROM GESHUR, DAVID WILL NOT TALK TO HIM OR SEE HIM. SO ABSALOM'S FRUSTRATED, YOU KNOW. ABSALOM'S FRUSTRATED BECAUSE HIS SISTER WAS VIOLATED. DAVID DID NOTHING. HE WAS EXILED. DAVID BRINGS HIM BACK, BUT DAVID WON'T TALK TO HIM. DAVID WON'T VISIT HIM. NO ONE WILL RETURN HIS CELL PHONE CALLS OR HIS EMAILS. [LAUGHTER] AND SO, ONE DAY, HE GETS THE BRIGHT IDEA--HE SAYS, "NO ONE WILL TALK TO ME," SO HE BURNS DOWN JOAB'S FIELD, THE COMMANDER OF THE ARMIES OF ISRAEL--POWERFUL MAN, DAVID'S TRUSTED ADVISOR. AND HE FINDS JOAB'S FIELD AND BURNS IT DOWN. AND JOAB COMES AND SAYS, "WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, MAN?" AND HE SAID, "HEY, WHY'D YOU BRING ME HOME? SO EVERYBODY CAN IGNORE ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE? TALK TO ME. I WANT TO SEE MY FATHER." AND SO, JOAB SETS UP A MEETING BETWEEN ABSALOM AND DAVID. BUT IT'S TOO LATE. ABSALOM'S OFFENSE TOWARD DAVID IS BEYOND REPAIR. ABSALOM HATES HIM, AND ABSALOM'S A VERY ATTRACTIVE MAN. HE'S A VERY CHARISMATIC MAN. AND HE TURNS ISRAEL AGAINST DAVID. AND DAVID HAS TO FLEE FOR HIS LIFE AND COMES WITHIN A FRACTION OF AN INCH OF BEING KILLED AND BEING DEPOSED BY HIS SON ABSALOM. AND ALL OF THAT STORY JUST GOES TO ILLUSTRATE THE DEFICIENCIES IN DAVID'S PARENTING SKILLS. DAVID WASN'T A GOOD FATHER. AND AGAIN, I WANT TO SAY YOU KNOW THAT DAVID, BEING A MAN AFTER GOD'S HEART-- YOU KNOW HE LOVED HIS CHILDREN. I'M NOT QUESTIONING THAT AT ALL. I'M SURE HE ADORED HIS CHILDREN AND WANTED THE BEST FOR HIS CHILDREN. BUT WHEN IT CAME TO DEALING WITH THESE ISSUES, YOU SEE, DAVID DID NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. IN FACT, HE PRETTY MUCH DID EVERYTHING WRONG TO BRING THAT CIRCUMSTANCE ABOUT. AND SO, I HAVE A QUESTION THAT I WANT TO ASK AND TRY TO ANSWER, AND THAT QUESTION WAS, WHY WAS DAVID SUCH A BAD FATHER? DAVID WAS A BAD FATHER BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T DEAL WITH HIS PAIN. AND I'M TALKING ABOUT GREATNESS. AND HERE'S THE TRUTH ABOUT EVERY GREAT PERSON. EVERY GREAT MAN AND WOMAN HAS TO RISE ABOVE THE PAIN OF THEIR PAST TO REACH THEIR GOD-GIVEN DESTINY. IT WASN'T THE LACK OF NURTURING IN HIS PAST. CERTAINLY, THAT CONTRIBUTED TO IT. BUT ALL OF US HAVE PAIN. WHAT CAUSED DAVID'S PAIN WAS THE FACT THAT HE WOULDN'T FACE IT. HE WOULDN'T DEAL WITH IT. HE SAT SILENTLY IN THE PALACE WHILE HIS FAMILY MELTED DOWN AROUND HIM. HE HAD ADVISORS. HE HAD PRIESTS. HE HAD PROPHETS. HE HAD FRIENDS. HE HAD PEOPLE WHO HAD FATHERING SKILLS. BUT DAVID JUST WOULDN'T TALK. YOU KNOW, YOU'VE HEARD OF THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE? THERE IS NO STRONG, SILENT TYPE. THEY'RE THE WEAK, SILENT TYPE, BECAUSE STRONG PEOPLE TALK. THEY GET IT OUT. THEY DEAL WITH IT. THEY ADMIT IT. EVERYONE HAS PAIN. ALL OF US HAVE PAIN. EVERYONE HAS HAD DEVASTATING THINGS HAPPEN TO THEM, OR AT LEAST VERY PAINFUL THINGS HAPPEN TO THEM. EVERYBODY HAS. REJECTION OF FATHER AND MOTHER, ABANDONMENT, REJECTION BY THE OPPOSITE SEX, THE DIVORCE OF PARENTS, ABANDONMENT, ADULTERY, DEATH OF PARENTS OR LOVED ONES PREMATURELY, ABUSE, REJECTION BY SIBLINGS OR FRIENDS, SOCIAL REJECTION, FAILURE IN ACADEMICS, ATHLETICS, OR BUSINESS, PHYSICAL PROBLEMS OR HANDICAPS, HAVING NO ONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU, JUST LONELINESS--EVERYONE HAS PAIN. AND HERE ARE SOME OF THE COMMON BUT NON-CURING THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO WITH PAIN. WE ALL HAVE PAIN. BUT IN OUR PAIN, WE HAVE TO DECIDE HOW ARE WE GOING TO DEAL WITH OUR PAIN? HERE'S SOME OF THE WRONG WAYS TO DEAL WITH PAIN. NUMBER ONE IS THEY MEDICATE IT. THESE ARE SOME OF THE WAYS THAT PEOPLE DEAL WITH PAIN THAT DON'T WORK. AND THEY MEDICATE IT--ALCOHOL, DRUGS, FOOD, SEX, ENTERTAINMENT, GAMBLING. DAVID AND HIS FAMILY WERE FULL OF MEDICATORS. BUT WHEN YOU HAVE PAIN, AND YOU HAVE NOT DEALT WITH THAT PAIN PROPERLY, SUBSTANCES BECOME A WAY TO MEDICATE THAT PAIN. AND OUR SOCIETY IS FULL OF DEVASTATED PEOPLE WHO ARE MEDICATING THEIR ISSUE. THE ISSUE IS NEVER ALCOHOL. THE ISSUE IS NEVER DRUGS. THE ISSUE IS NEVER FOOD. THE ISSUE IS NOT PORNOGRAPHY. THE ISSUE IS NOT GAMBLING. AND THE CHURCH MAKES A HORRIBLE MISTAKE WHEN WE TRY TO MAKE THAT THE ISSUE. THE ISSUE'S PAIN. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DEAL WITH THE EMPTINESS AND PAIN AND DEVASTATION IN YOUR LIFE? AND YOU CAN TURN TO JESUS, OR YOU CAN TURN SOMEWHERE ELSE. BUT THE WRONG WAY TO DEAL WITH IT IS TO MEDICATE IT, WHICH DAVID'S FAMILY DID. ANOTHER THING IS TO MOTIVATE IT. AND THIS IS JUST TO GET BUSY AND NOT STOP AND WORK YOURSELF TO DEATH. A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THIS, TOO. SOLOMON WAS AN EXAMPLE OF THIS. YOU SAY, "WELL, WHAT PAIN DID SOLOMON HAVE?" WELL, HE WAS THE CHILD OF DAVID AND BATHSHEBA. SOLOMON WAS A SCANDAL. HE WAS A WALKING SCANDAL. HE WAS PROBABLY ON THE FRONT PAGE OF "NATIONAL ENQUIRER" EVERY WEEK FOR YEARS. HE WAS JUST A SCANDAL WAITING FOR A PLACE TO HAPPEN. SOLOMON HAD TO KILL HIS BROTHER TO BECOME KING. SOLOMON HAD SO MUCH PAIN--AND HIS SISTER WAS TAMAR. HIS BROTHER WAS AMNON AND ABSALOM. DAVID DID A POOR JOB OF SETTING SOLOMON UP TO BECOME KING, AND SO, HE HAD TO KILL HIS BROTHER. HE HAD SO MUCH PAIN IN HIS LIFE. AND SO, WHEN SOLOMON BECAME KING, HE BUILT AND BUILT, AND DID AND DID, AND BUILT AND BUILT, AND DID AND DID, AND BUILT AND BUILT, AND DID AND DID, AND PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD CAME TO SEE HIM. HE WAS THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD. HE BUILT UP ISRAEL. HE BUILT JERUSALEM. THE BOOK OF "ECCLESIASTES" TALKS ABOUT INCREDIBLE THINGS THAT SOLOMON DID. AND AT THE END OF THE BOOK OF "ECCLESIASTES," IN SUMMARIZING ALL THE THINGS THAT HE DID, HE SAID IT'S VANITY AND STRIVING AFTER WIND. HE DOESN'T TALK ABOUT HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN THE CONTEXT OF--"I'LL JUST TELL YOU, THAT WAS THE GREATEST PART OF MY LIFE WAS DOING EVERYTHING THAT I DID." HE TALKS ABOUT IT IN THE CONTEXT OF, "FEAR GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS." THAT'S THE SUMMARY OF HIS LIFE AT THE END OF THE BOOK OF "ECCLESIASTES." WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE, FEAR GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS. EVERYTHING ELSE IS VANITY AND STRIVING AFTER THE WIND. YOU KNOW, WHEN YOUR--DILIGENCE MEANS, "I DO MY BEST AND THEN STOP." DRIVENNESS MEANS, "I CAN'T STOP." THERE'S STEAM IN THE ENGINE THAT WON'T LET ME STOP. THERE'S SOMETHING DOWN HERE THAT KEEPS ME FROM STOPPING, BECAUSE WHEN I STOP, THE GHOSTS SHOW UP. I CAN'T SIT IN A HOUSE WITHOUT THE TV ON. I CAN'T SIT IN A CAR WITHOUT THE RADIO ON. I CAN'T SIT IN A ROOM QUIETLY AND MEDITATE. I CAN'T BE SOMEWHERE WITHOUT BEING ACTIVE, BECAUSE THE GHOSTS SHOW UP, AND THEY WANT TO REMIND ME ABOUT THESE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE REMINDED OF. SO WHETHER I MEDICATE OR NOT, I HAVE TO HAVE ACTIVITY AND NOISE IN MY LIFE, BECAUSE WHEN I DON'T, THEY SHOW UP. MARY AND MARTHA WERE SISTERS, AND THEY WERE THE SISTERS OF LAZARUS. AND JESUS WENT TO THEIR HOME. AND MARY SAT AT THE FEET OF JESUS, ATTENTIVELY LISTENING TO HIM. MARTHA WAS A BUSYBODY. SHE COULDN'T STOP. AND SHE CAME TO JESUS AND RATTED ON MARY AND SAID, "HEY, MAKE HER GET UP AND HELP." AND JESUS SAID, "NO, YOU NEED TO STOP. MARY HAS CHOSEN THE ETERNAL PART. AND MARTHA, MARTHA, YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT SO MANY THINGS." HE CORRECTED HER. AND THE LORD TOLD ME ON A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS THAT I HAD A MARTHA SPIRIT. YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID, LIKE ALL OF US, I HAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ME THAT WERE DEVASTATING TO ME. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM, SO I JUST DIDN'T. AND--BUT I WAS A WORKAHOLIC. AS A PASTOR, I WAS A WORKAHOLIC. AND IT AFFECTED MY CHILDREN AND MY MARRIAGE. AND I KNEW THE LORD. I WOKE UP EVERY MORNING AND PRAYED. AND--I KNEW THE LORD, BUT I KNEW THE LORD TO A CERTAIN LEVEL. AND WHEN I GOT TO A CERTAIN LEVEL, THE LORD KEPT SAYING TO ME, "JIMMY, I WANT YOU TO SIT DOWN--" 'CAUSE SEE, I WOULD SIT DOWN TO PRAY ALL THE TIME. AND I WOULD JOURNAL, AND I'D READ MY BIBLE, AND I WOULD PRAY. BUT WHAT I WOULDN'T DO IS STOP AND JUST SAY, "OK, LORD, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH IN MY HEART?" I WOULDN'T DO THAT. NOW, I WOULD CONFESS MY SINS, BUT I WOULD KIND OF DO THE PREEMPTIVE THING. BUT I WOULDN'T DO THE REFLECTIVE THING, BECAUSE HERE'S--I KNOW THIS ABOUT GOD. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY BOUNDARIES. THAT BOOK ON BOUNDARIES, HE'S NEVER READ IT. HE'LL COME PAST EVERY FENCE, EVERY OBSTACLE. BECAUSE HE'S OUR GOD, AND HE OWNS US, HE CONSIDERS EVERY THOUGHT AND EVERY FEELING THAT WE HAVE TO BE HIS PROPERTY. AND THAT--AND HE'S VERY GENTLE, AND HE'S VERY GRACIOUS. BUT I KNEW GOOD AND WELL IF I GOT ALONE WITH GOD EXACTLY THE SUBJECTS THAT HE WAS GOING TO BRING UP. SO I JUST DIDN'T GET ALONE WITH GOD. AND THE LORD BEGAN TO CONVICT ME OF THAT ONE DAY. AND I KNEW THAT I NEEDED TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH GOD, LETTING HIM DEAL WITH THESE ISSUES I DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH, 'CAUSE IT WAS PAINFUL. IT WAS SHAMEFUL. AND SEE, THE DEVIL PUTS SHAME AROUND ANYTHING HE WANTS TO KEEP IN DARKNESS, BECAUSE IF THERE'S SHAME ON IT, HE KNOWS WE WON'T TAKE IT TO GOD. SHAME, FEAR, CONDEMNATION, WHATEVER IT IS. AND SO, I HAD SOME OF THOSE THINGS IN MY LIFE FROM MY PAST. IT WASN'T THINGS I HAD DONE. IT WAS THINGS THAT HAD BEEN DONE TO ME. I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO THE LORD ABOUT THEM. AND--BUT I KNEW I HAD TO. THE LORD SAID, "JIMMY, I WANT YOU TO GET ALONE WITH ME." AND I'D BUSY MYSELF, AND I WOULD ALWAYS BE DOING AND GOING AND DOING AND GOING. AND IT'S ONE OF THE THINGS THE LORD CORRECTED ME FOR. MOTIVATING IT. AND THE THIRD THING IS MEDITATING. AND MEDITATING MEANS YOU JUST SIT AND STEW ON IT. THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN STEWING ON SOMETHING FOR 50 YEARS. I KNOW THEM. I KNOW PEOPLE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW THAT ARE--NOW, NOT CHRISTIAN PEOPLE, BUT PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST FULL OF HATE. THEY'RE STILL STEWING ON THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO THEM 50 YEARS AGO, 30 YEARS AGO. AND THIS WAS ABSALOM. THE BIBLE SAYS, "IN YOUR ANGER, DO NOT SIN. DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN WHILE YOU ARE STILL ANGRY. DO NOT GIVE THE DEVIL A FOOTHOLD." THE WORD THERE IS DIABLOS FOR DEVIL, AND IT MEANS SLANDER. HE'LL COME IN AND SLANDER PEOPLE TO YOU. AND THIS IS WHAT ABSALOM DID. HE HAD A SINCERE VIOLATION OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO HIS SISTER, BUT HE STEWED ON IT. HE LET--HE WENT TO BED ON HIS ANGER FOR MANY NIGHTS--TWO YEARS. OVER 700 NIGHTS, HE WENT TO BED ON THE ANGER THAT HE HAD TOWARD AMNON TO THE DEGREE THAT THE DEVIL GOT A FOOTHOLD, AND HE MURDERED HIS BROTHER. THEN, HE WENT TO BED ON ANGER TOWARD HIS FATHER DAVID AND--TO THE DEGREE THAT HE WAS READY TO KILL HIS FATHER AND DEPOSE HIM AND TAKE OVER HIS KINGDOM. MEDITATING. JUST SIT THERE AND HATING THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO YOU, THE PEOPLE OF YOUR PAST. MEDITATORS. IT OPENS THE DOOR TO DEMONIC OPPRESSION. NOT POSSESSION, BUT JUST OPPRESSION. HERE'S WHAT GREAT MEN AND WOMEN DO WITH THE PAIN OF THEIR PAST. WE ALL HAVE PAIN. ALL OF US HAVE PAIN, PERIOD. AND WE'VE ALL DONE THINGS THAT WE REGRET. HERE'S WHAT GREAT MEN AND WOMEN DO WITH IT. NUMBER ONE IS THEY FACE IT. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE APOSTLE PAUL, ONE OF THE GREATEST MEN IN CHURCH HISTORY. BUT HE DIDN'T START OUT THAT WAY. HE WAS MEAN-SPIRITED. HE WAS LEGALISTIC. HE WAS HOLIER THAN THOU. AND HE PERSECUTED AND KILLED CHRISTIANS. HE HAD PAIN. HE HAD A LOT OF PAIN. YOU TALK ABOUT HAVING A PERFORMANCE PAST, HIS PAST WAS TOTAL PERFORMANCE OF HOW HE DID. AND HE JUST CAME OUT AND SAID IT. "I WAS A PHARISEE. I PERSECUTED CHRISTIANS." THAT'S NOT AN EASY CONFESSION FOR A MAN WHOSE MINISTRY WAS A MINISTRY OF GRACE. YOU HAVE TO FACE IT. LET ME SAY THIS--GREATNESS IN GOD'S KINGDOM IS NOT HOW MANY GREAT THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR GOD. GREATNESS IN GOD'S KINGDOM BEGINS WITH HOW MANY SCARS YOU ALLOW HIM TO REDEEM, 'CAUSE WE ALL HAVE PAIN. WE'VE BEEN REDEEMED FROM SEXUAL SIN. WE'VE BEEN REDEEMED FROM ALCOHOLISM. WE'VE BEEN REDEEMED FROM DIVORCE AND FROM FAMILY BREAKDOWN. WE'VE BEEN REDEEMED FROM PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND FAILURES. WE'VE BEEN REDEEM--AM I TELLING THE TRUTH THIS MORNING? AM I? [MURMURING AND APPLAUSE] THIS IS WHO WE--I'M NOT ASHAMED OF IT. I WAS ASHAMED OF IT, BUT I'M NOT ASHAMED OF IT. LET ME JUST TELL YOU SOMETHING. NO ONE CAN REACH THOSE PEOPLE LIKE A PERSON WHO'S BEEN REDEEMED. AND I HEARD THIS SAYING ONE TIME--NEVER FOLLOW A GENERAL WITHOUT SCARS. AND THANK GOD OUR GENERAL HAS SCARS. DON'T EVER FOLLOW SOME POSEUR THAT PRETENDS AS THOUGH THEY DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, AND THEY'RE ABOVE EVERYTHING. DON'T EVER DO THAT. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SCARS THAT HAVE BEEN REDEEMED BY JESUS, YOU CAN'T HELP ANYBODY BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HELPED YET. AND DAVID SAT--WITH ALL THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT DAVID, DAVID SAT AND PRETENDED. AND BECAUSE OF THAT, HE TRANSFERRED THE PAIN OF HIS PAST ON TO HIS CHILDREN AND TO THEIR CHILDREN. LET ME SAY SOMETHING. YOU CAN BE THE END OF PAIN IN YOUR FAMILY IF YOU'LL STAND UP AND FACE IT AND LET GOD DEAL WITH IT. WHEN KAREN AND I GOT MARRIED, WE DECIDED WE'RE THE END OF PAIN. WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE THE TRANSMITTERS OF PAIN TO ANOTHER GENERATION. WE'RE GOING TO FACE OUR PAIN AND LET JESUS DEAL WITH IT SO OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN HAVE A BETTER FUTURE. AND SO, THE PEOPLE AROUND US CAN GET HELP FROM US WHERE WE'VE BEEN COMFORTED RATHER THAN US SITTING AND ACTING LIKE WE'RE SOMETHING WE'RE NOT AND TRANSMITTING PAIN AND WATCHING PEOPLE SUFFER WHEN WE WON'T ADMIT THAT WE'VE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT. THE SECOND THING THAT GREAT PEOPLE DO WITH THEIR PAIN IS THEY FORGIVE IT AND FORGET IT. THIS IS PAUL AGAIN. "BRETHREN, I DO NOT COUNT MYSELF TO HAVE APPREHENDED. BUT ONE THING I DO, FORGETTING THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE BEHIND AND REACHING FORWARD TO THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE AHEAD. I PRESS TOWARD THE GOAL FOR THE PRIZE OF THE UPWARD CALL IN CHRIST JESUS. THEREFORE, LET US, AS MANY YEARS MATURE, HAVE THIS MIND, AND IF ANYTHING YOU THINK OTHERWISE, GOD WILL REVEAL THAT TO YOU." THE WORD FORGET THERE DOES NOT MEAN ERASE YOUR MEMORY, 'CAUSE WE CAN'T DO THAT, AND PAUL DIDN'T DO THAT. HE KNEW HIS PAST. HE'D ALREADY RECOUNTED IT. IT MEANS TO IGNORE, NOT TO LET IT HAVE POWER OVER US. THE MOTHER OF ALL ISSUES RELATED TO OUR PAST IS THE ISSUE OF FORGIVENESS. MOTHER, FATHER, BROTHER, SISTER, BUSINESS PARTNER, SPOUSE, FATHER, YOU KNOW, STEPFATHER, STEPMOTHER, WHATEVER IT MIGHT BE. AND IF WE DON'T FORGIVE, GOD WON'T FORGIVE US. BUT ALSO, IT--IN MATTHEW 18, JESUS TELLS THE STORY OF THE MAN WHO WOULDN'T FORGIVE, AND HE WAS TURNED OVER TO TORMENT. UNFORGIVENESS IS TORMENT. IT DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE NOT GOING TO HEAVEN, OR GOD DOESN'T LOVE US. BUT WHEN WE WON'T FORGIVE, IT OPENS US UP TO TORMENT IN OUR LIVES. THERE'S A COUPLE OF SAYINGS THAT I LIKE. ONE IS, UNTIL YOU LET THE PAST DIE, IT WILL NOT LET YOUR FUTURE LIVE. YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE EVEN YOURSELF. SOME OF YOU HAVE HAD ABORTIONS. SOME OF YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES--SERIOUS CRIMES. YOU'VE HAD SEXUAL SIN OR ADULTERY IN YOUR PAST, SOMETHING THAT YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT. BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS WASHES THAT AWAY. BUT YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT THE BLOOD OF JESUS IS GREATER THAN YOUR SIN, AND IT IS. WHERE SIN DOES ABOUND, GRACE DOES MUCH MORE ABOUND. WE HAVE TO FORGIVE PEOPLE AND FORGIVE OURSELVES AND STOP LETTING THE PAST HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR LIVES. ANOTHER SAYING THAT I LIKE IS, FORGIVENESS DOESN'T MAKE THEM RIGHT, IT JUST MAKES US FREE. I'M NOT SAYING THEY'RE RIGHT. AND SOME PEOPLE, EVEN THOUGH I FORGIVE THEM, I'M NOT GOING TO LET THEM IN MY LIFE TO GET ANOTHER SHOT AT ME. THAT WOULD NOT BE WISE. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO KEEP REHEARSING AND NURSING THE HURTS AND OFFENSES OF MY PAST AND LETTING THE DEVIL KEEP COMING AND CONDEMNING ME FOR THE THINGS I'VE DONE WRONG. THOSE THINGS DON'T HAVE ANY POWER OVER ME ANYMORE. I'M GOING TO LET THEM GO. AND THE THIRD THING--AND BY THE WAY, I BELIEVE THAT FATHER PAIN IS PROBABLY THE WORST PAIN IN LIFE. DAVID HAD IT, AND MANY PEOPLE HAVE IT. I'M JUST TELLING YOU, IN MINISTERING TO A LOT OF PEOPLE, FATHER PAIN IS A PARTICULAR TYPE OF PAIN. YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE YOUR FATHER FOR WHAT HE DID AND DID NOT DO. AND HERE'S THE THIRD THING THAT GREAT PEOPLE DO WITH THE PAIN OF THEIR PAST. THEY FOLLOW JESUS AWAY FROM IT. DAVID JUST DIDN'T HAVE ANY VIDEOTAPES OF BEING A FATHER. BUT JESUS SAID, "WHEN THE HOLY SPIRIT COMES, HE'LL LEAD YOU INTO ALL TRUTH." SOME OF YOU HAVE SOME REALLY GOOD VIDEOTAPES OF YOUR PARENTS. AND IN THOSE AREAS WHERE YOUR PARENTS WERE STRONG AND GOOD, YOU REALLY HAVE A NATURAL INCLINATION TOWARD THAT. SOME OF YOU JUST DON'T HAVE ANY TAPES. THERE ARE--I HAD WONDERFUL PARENTS, BUT THERE WERE SOME AREAS I JUST DIDN'T HAVE ANY TAPES. I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE IT HAD NEVER BEEN DONE AROUND ME. AND IN SOME AREAS, I HAD SOME BAD TAPES. WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU ASK THE HOLY SPIRIT TO TEACH YOU. JESUS SAID HE'LL LEAD YOU INTO ALL TRUTH. HE CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BE A HUSBAND, WIFE, MOTHER, FATHER, FRIEND, TEACH YOU HOW TO RESOLVE CONFLICT, TEACH YOU HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS, TEACH YOU HOW TO PRIORITIZE, TEACH YOU HOW TO DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. ALL TRUTH. HE'LL LEAD YOU INTO ALL TRUTH. WE ALL HAVE PAIN FROM OUR PAST, WHETHER IT'S FATHER PAIN, PARENT PAIN, PAIN FROM A RELATIONSHIP THAT WENT BAD, OR MAYBE FAILURE IN OUR OWN LIVES. WE HAVE PAIN, BUT WHEN WE DON'T DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY, IT SABOTAGES OUR PRESENT AND OUR FUTURE. THE ENTIRE MESSAGE "DAVID THE WOUNDED SON," WE WANT TO GIVE THIS TO YOU. YOU SAW PART OF IT ON THE PROGRAM TODAY. WE WANT TO GIVE YOU THE ENTIRE MESSAGE FOR YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT TO SUPPORT US HERE AT "MARRIAGE TODAY." THIS IS A MINISTRY, AND WE WANT TO KEEP COMING BACK TO YOU. AND THAT'S ONLY POSSIBLE THROUGH THE FINANCIAL SUPPORT OF OUR WONDERFUL VIEWERS AND DONORS. BUT AS YOU SUPPORT US HERE WITH A GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT, WE'LL SEND YOU "DAVID THE WOUNDED SON" THE ENTIRE MESSAGE. FOR YOUR GIFT OF $45 OR MORE, WE'LL SEND YOU THE ENTIRE 7-PART "I AM DAVID" AUDIO SERIES. FOR YOUR GIFT OF $65 OR MORE, WE'LL SEND YOU THE FULL DVD SERIES THAT YOU CAN WATCH. IT HAS ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF MESSAGES IN IT TO INSPIRE YOU AND HELP YOU TO BECOME GREAT FROM THE LIFE OF DAVID AND LOOKING AT WHAT HE DID, BOTH GOOD AND BAD. WE WANT TO PUT THESE IMPORTANT RESOURCES INTO YOUR HANDS, AND HERE'S HOW YOU CAN GET 'EM. ANNOUNCER: SUPPORT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WITH YOUR BEST GIFT AND RECEIVE THE SERIES "I AM DAVID." BASED ON THE EXPERIENCES OF KING DAVID, THIS SERIES WILL REVEAL HOW TO ACHIEVE GREATNESS AND FULFILLMENT, THE SECRETS TO OVERCOMING THE PAIN OF YOUR PAST, AND HOW TO HAVE POSITIVE THINKING IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. THIS CD SERIES IS YOURS FOR A GIFT OF $45 OR MORE, THE DVD SERIES FOR $65 OR MORE. JIMMY: GOD MADE YOU FOR GREATNESS. YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAVE THAT IN YOU TO BE GREAT, THAT CAME FROM GOD. ANNOUNCER: SUPPORT "MARRIAGE TODAY" WITH YOUR GIFT OF ANY AMOUNT AND RECEIVE THE POWERFUL CD MESSAGE "DAVID THE WOUNDED SON" FROM THE "I AM DAVID" SERIES. JIMMY: WHEN WE SIT SILENTLY AND PRETEND AS THOUGH WE DON'T HAVE PAIN AND DON'T LET GOD REDEEM OUR PAIN, NOT ONLY CAN HE NOT COMFORT US, HE CAN'T COMFORT OTHER PEOPLE THROUGH US. ANNOUNCER: DISCOVER WHAT IT MEANS TO BE GREAT WITH THE SERIES "I AM DAVID." JIMMY: KING DAVID MADE SOME REALLY SERIOUS MISTAKES. BUT GOD FORGAVE HIM, AND GOD REDEEMED HIM, BECAUSE DAVID TOOK RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS MISTAKES. DAVID REPENTED. YOU KNOW, I SAY SOMETIMES DAVID WAS A BAD SINNER, BUT HE WAS A GOOD REPENTER. AND DAVID TRULY TOOK RESPONSIBILITY. HE DIDN'T BLAME ANYBODY, HE TOOK RESPONSIBILITY. AND GOD DIDN'T JUST FORGIVE DAVID. GOD USED DAVID IN A POWERFUL WAY. AND LET ME TELL YOU, HE MADE SOME REALLY BIG MISTAKES. AND YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU MADE SOME BIG MISTAKES. MAYBE THE DEVIL'S BEEN CONDEMNING YOU ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES TO GET YOU TO BELIEVE THAT NOW, GOD CAN'T USE YOU, THAT IT SABOTAGED YOUR DESTINY, AND YOU COULD HAVE HAD GOD'S BEST, BUT NOW, YOU CAN'T HAVE GOD'S BEST. AND I'LL TELL YOU, THAT'S BALONEY. JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS SO WE COULD BE REDEEMED. JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS SO THAT THE POWER OF OUR PAST AND THE POWER THAT THE DEVIL HAS OVER OUR PAST CAN BE COMPLETELY BROKEN. YOU KNOW, WHEN GOD FORGIVES OUR SINS, THE BIBLE SAYS THAT HE FORGETS OUR SINS. AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST, HE REMOVES OUR SINS FROM US, AND THERE IS NO CONDEMNATION IN CHRIST. SO DON'T LET THE DEVIL CONDEMN YOU. BECAUSE YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE? SOME OF THOSE AREAS WHERE WE HAVE THE DEEPEST SCARS IS ACTUALLY WHERE GOD USES US THE GREATEST. WHEN YOU HAVE PAIN IN YOUR PAST THAT GOD HAS REDEEMED, WHEN YOU HAD A MISTAKE IN YOUR PAST THAT YOU LEARNED FROM, NO ONE CAN HELP A PERSON LIKE A PERSON WHO'S BEEN THERE. NO ONE CAN HAVE COMPASSION FOR A PERSON LIKE A PERSON WHO'S BEEN THERE. SO I WANT YOU TO KNOW TODAY THAT GOD LOVES YOU. I WANT YOU TO KNOW TODAY THAT WHATEVER YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH, LIKE KING DAVID, THAT HAS BEEN A MISTAKE, THAT HAS BEEN A PROBLEM, A PAIN, A FAILURE, GOD DOES NOT CONDEMN YOU. GOD IS A REDEMPTIVE, FORGIVING GOD, AND NOT ONLY WILL HE FORGIVE YOU, BUT HE WILL REDEEM THAT CIRCUMSTANCE IN YOUR LIFE SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE HIS BEST FOR YOUR FUTURE. AND YOU NEED TO BELIEVE THAT, BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO DAVID. IT HAPPENED TO MANY PEOPLE IN THE BIBLE BECAUSE OF THE MERCY AND THE GRACE OF OUR GOD. AND LET ME TELL YOU, THAT'S THE GOSPEL MESSAGE, IS OUR GOD IS A MERCIFUL, FORGIVING GOD. AND I HOPE THAT ENCOURAGES YOU TODAY. THIS SERIES "I AM DAVID" IS A REALLY, REALLY POWERFUL SERIES, AND I REALLY PRAY THAT IT TOUCHED YOU TODAY. WE'RE ABLE TO COME TO YOU TO MINISTER TO YOU BECAUSE OF A VERY SPECIAL GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT WE HAVE CALLED OUR ROCK SOLID PARTNERS. AND THESE ARE PEOPLE THAT STAND WITH US EVERY MONTH. THERE ARE SEVERAL DIFFERENT LEVELS OF DONATIONS THAT THEY MAKE TO THE MINISTRY EVERY MONTH. AND IN RESPONSE TO THEIR GIVING TO THE MINISTRY, WE HAVE A SPECIAL RESOURCE THAT WE SEND THEM CALLED THE DREAM MARRIAGE LIBRARY. I'M ASKING YOU--KAREN AND I ARE ASKING YOU TO STAND WITH US. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MINISTRY FOR THE DAY THAT WE LIVE IN WHEN MARRIAGE IS UNDER ATTACK. "MARRIAGE TODAY" IS GOING ACROSS AMERICA AND AROUND THE WORLD HELPING PEOPLE SUCCEED IN MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS, AND IN THEIR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD. AND WE HOPE THAT WE'VE BEEN AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOU. WOULD YOU STAND WITH US FINANCIALLY AND HELP US TO KEEP THIS MINISTRY COMING BACK TO YOU AND OTHERS AROUND THE WORLD? WE WANT YOU TO BECOME ONE OF OUR ROCK SOLID PARTNERS, AND HERE'S HOW YOU CAN DO THAT. ANNOUNCER: GOING THROUGH DIVORCE IS A LOT TO ASK OF CHILDREN AND OFTEN RESULTS IN YEARS OF EMOTIONAL PAIN. IT'S A VIOLENT RIPPING APART OF THEIR PARENTS AND A SENSE OF ABANDONMENT. WHAT SOMETIMES WE SEE AS A QUICK WAY OUT CAN MEAN COMPLETE LOSS FOR A CHILD. JIMMY: YOU HAVE A 100% CHANCE OF SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE. YOU WERE MADE FOR MARRIAGE. ANNOUNCER: "MARRIAGE TODAY" EXISTS TO PROTECT CHILDREN FROM THE PAIN OF DIVORCE AND TO STEER COUPLES AWAY FROM MARITAL FAILURE BY TELLING THEM THE TRUTH. WHEN YOU STAND WITH "MARRIAGE TODAY," YOUR INDIVIDUAL EFFORT MULTIPLIES WITH OTHER LIKE-MINDED PARTNERS AND TOGETHER, WE CAN REBUILD A LEGACY OF STRONG FAMILIES AROUND THE WORLD. CHOOSE YOUR LEVEL OF PARTNERSHIP TODAY AND RECEIVE IMMEDIATE ACCESS TO THE VIDEO STREAMING LIBRARY. BECOME A ROCK SOLID PARTNER TODAY. Thank you for watching MarriageToday. Subscribe to MarriageToday's YouTube channel for more marriage-building videos and updates.
