Our Only Hope: Chassidus Is The Future of Psychology

there's a famous psychologist who started he started what was called Boys Town in America and this was back in the 50s I think maybe even earlier and he was speaking he was giving a lecture about psychology to a group of priests young golovkin and they were very impressed and they came to him afterwards and they said where can we learn more we want to learn more about this and he got very upset he said the reason we have so many patients and so many clients is because you're not doing your job so don't learn more psychology do your job better and then we won't have so much work then he wrote a book because of that encounter he wrote a book called whatever became of sin sin he says we used to know that certain things are sinful this is a sin but then they changed it to anti-social behavior and then they change that to inappropriate acting out now they change the to alternative lifestyle so we gotta go back to knowing what's a sin that's that's important through mental health I really so as we're getting the camera ready let me take a quick story I'm sitting in the Habad house I get a phone call there's a woman a little bit hysterical she says rabbi yeah he's a dolt reassume I said yeah big sin she says thank you she hangs up the phone yes she calls back a while later says that you're probably wondering what what that was all about I'm in I'm in recovery I'm an alcoholic and recovery and I'm doing the fifth step the fifth step in a a is where you talk to somebody about your issues after making a list of everything you discuss it so she's talking to this counselor and she said to him I know why I'm drinking um I'm guilty I feel terrible guilt I committed adultery I sinned and the counselor said you know we don't call it sin anymore that's not helpful she said but I sinned he says well you know it was not my second if I remember to correct it was not a life supporting decision under the circumstances she says no was the sin and he says don't call it that we don't think like that anymore so she said wait a minute hold on she ran to the phone calls me asked me is it a sin yeah it is and you went back yeah it's a sin give me a little credit as if as indict you know take that away from me also so it doesn't work to ignore the moral issues and it is very healthy to know the moral issues to know what is allowed and what is not allowed is the basic definition of sanity now if if you're hoping to discuss mental health and emotional health and what to do about it I'm not sure that we need to get involved in this if you're thinking about your own sanity that we can talk about but we shouldn't become therapists or amateur psychologists if somebody has a serious problem there are many many ways that people are being treated these days it's not all chemicals and drugs there are many many many good programs some of them are new and little controversial but if you if you hear if something that works it's worth trying and recommending and what I want to talk to you is about something a little bit futuristic what's going to be with mental health because it seems to be it seems to be really elusive and difficult to remain sane what is going on Tanya said this is supposed to be the cure for the Mottola before mushiya comes which Makela so let's take a quick look at what's going on the biggest problem mental emotional problem is the eight sadhus the aides had asked is where human beings received the hush or the sense of self self-aware the eight Hadassah's Talavera because being self-aware is the best thing in the world and it's the worst thing in the world it is to live and live without self-awareness you're not a person you don't have Bushido you can't have an opinion you can't even be good because who's being good on the other hand there's the snake part of self-awareness and that is selfish and narcissistic and self-absorbed I saw a sniffer from the devil the prophetic a taboo and I'm I thought that was a moment not a sitter he says like this a person who is self-aware and as a mortgage he feels himself very deeply even his kindness is selfish he will do you a favor and he will let you know that he did you a favor and his kindness can become so difficult that it as can fab it alone damn lemon for the one that he's being kind to you can make your life miserable with kindness till the point where it becomes rejas diamond that is the negative side of eight sadhus and what is the ticking that we still need which are Veda are we still suffering from and need to fix a toss so if you look around and you see what's going on in the world today the most popular the most common disease is self the awareness of self people have become so sensitive so delicate that if it doesn't go exactly the way you want or the way you hoped you can't handle it so issues that were never issues before are suddenly intolerable people crack up from the strangest things so the old form of psychology has to adjust the old form of psychology is if something very seriously threatening traumatic overwhelming happened that will cause emotional disturbance today you go to a psychiatrist that he's looking for that terrible event and there isn't there was no terrible event my mother didn't love me yeah she did hmm not what I needed it not the way I wanted and that's it and that your life falls apart what is that so let's listen to them for some reason in the past all of history we accepted we tolerated we understood yeah got a do what you gotta do right that was I was like Nora the norm was that life has certain requirements you gotta do what you gotta do so in the olden days you gotta plough the field in the season if you miss the season it's going to be terrible you have to plow now and they did you have to get up early in the morning to milk the cow you have to milk the cow so they did today you don't have to get up to milk the cow today you have to get up to catch the bus the school bus you're in kindergarten and you have to get up otherwise you'll miss the bus and you can't miss the bus because you have to go to school you have to go to school because you have to graduate and you have to graduate to get a job and you have to get a job to make money and you have to make money to be able to buy food and stuff and you have to be able to buy food and stuff otherwise you're going to die see here what life is all about everything in life is about don't die you want to die don't die for some reason this worked for almost all of history today it stopped working it's not working you say to a child you have to do this and then any any and he has a nervous breakdown or a tantrum at least you but you have to do this the burdens that have to you have to you need to you must it's become unbearable so just to make it a little funny yeah you're you're suffering from all these burdens and you need relief so you go for therapy what happens when you come to the therapist you tell them you know all these obligations responsibilities I I don't like it it's too heavy what can I do the psychiatrist says you think that's your problem no your problem started at birth your mother wanted a girl and you're a boy and then she was disappointed and you you know your your siblings they like they love them more than you and you gotta wait wait wait wait there's more that I gotta do you're not helping so what do you do you go to religion right God is gonna help you come to a religion you find out yeah well those are the problems you have in this world when you come to the next world always there's gonna be problems there they cannot you better so there's no escape to put it very simply the Frommer's ADA says to his a nickel that's Davenant that's Mahabharata times gaining you Shiva the kid says Dolf starfish starfish what does the grandfather say yeah but the most the best eventually sooner or later the Zetas gonna have to say as Brennan in Jahannam the kid says don't threaten me enough with the threats if I don't get a job I'll die from hunger if I don't make a brother I'll go to hell little bit up I don't care I don't care anymore this is what is happening to our mental condition in our time today I don't care lumber it up don't threaten me and so mrs. Regan a while ago advised teenagers not to take drugs just say no the teenagers are still waiting for the punchline just say no why because it can kill me well that's the fun of it people do dangerous things say yeah you could get killed doing this yeah what's your point all of a sudden this threat isn't working now is this good news or bad news good news or bad news what's gonna be one mushiya comes we're gonna make brushes we're gonna dive on everything wine what are you gonna say after mushiya comes to convince your kid to do a mitzvah well what's gonna be you're gonna die no I'm not gonna die maybe am I gonna get him nah Gotham is finished now what we have to have a better argument then you're going to die it's not working in fact if you want a person to be healthy they the healing the cure that we need today is to cure the eight sadhus I have to what's gonna be with me how what am I going to be when I grow up why does nobody love me why doesn't anybody care about me all of that it's stopping I don't care attention assured so let me die leave me alone this is good news if we go about it in a healthy way the good news is you're right you're right too many obligations too many you must and you have to and you need no there's nothing I must and there's nothing I need nothing the leper made it a policy based on an eel in the vrae cielo a char Mosconi this is the Mental Health cure of our generation you want to raise healthy children you want to be healthy yourself you want to help somebody they sit down and they tell you they have this need and that need and this worry and that worry and what's going to be if you can help them if you can explain to them and make them comfortable with the idea that our new lane of AC as far as I'm concerned I don't need any of this love me it up I don't need to be born that's why the debe preferred this version this must this this gives not I mean the vasila Sharma Sh I kneel a lazy Ella this is the whole story we just have to be able to explain it you don't need you don't need Maharaja you don't need to be born you don't need to live you don't so when a kid says I'm not gonna clean up my room I didn't ask to be born or like this guy who's suing his parents who tried to sue his parents that they should pay all his bills for the rest of his life because they gave birth to him without his consent they threw it out of court the judge threw it out of court I think the reason is because the parents when they were asked what did you do they said hey we didn't ask to be born you talked to Grandpa so they thought the grandpa he said I didn't ask to be born so what you have to go back to other mccollum so at first it sounds like a joke he's upset that he wasn't asked but it's not a joke it's what's changing now ed of Mercia this is what's happening I didn't ask to be born yet Darla snitched Annie Lane lazy if you're asking me I don't want to be born lemming up why because I don't need it so if I don't need to be born how do I need to get a job this is this guy's tightening you when a head gave birth to me and now you want me to pay the bill let's lose this so I have to get a job I have to go to work I have to pay the bills I have to pay the taxes I have to pay the mortgage but not me I knew Lane the Bracy Ella so why am I here wish ambitious Connie I don't have needs I am needed this is siddhis this is Yiddish guide this is the rubbers formula and and prescription for sanity in our world today as a preparation for mushiya as we fix the AIDS hadass and I get rid of that selfish me what about me what's gonna happen if I stop being motivated by the need to succeed and the need to eat and the need to live and the need to avoid Ganon if I get rid of all of that what are we going to be left with you're gonna be left with the fact that you are necessary and needed for the covenant of Della bitta Thielen see if you're secular or from without sidess you have a serious problem if I don't need if I don't suffer from my own ego needs then what then what then I'll kill myself then there's no point to anything if it's not about me then then there's nothing so in secular psychology they're afraid to suggest this you don't need you didn't ask to be born you're a guest sit and enjoy you don't need anything you don't have to anything oh well then what's left if your whole Yiddish kite is because you want to get the GaN Eden and you're told no you don't need to then that's it it's all over I heard this terrible vote - from a people are sitting and talking and one of them said why is it that if you're not Jewish you can convert and become a Jew but if you're Jewish you can't convert and stop being Jewish why is it like that and the other one said what portion if a Jew could convert and stop being druish everybody would this is if the recession bazooka what would we do if we don't have to that's why you have to have the second half of the Pisgah of the L law so why am I here which Amish is claiming I am more needed than I am needy this is a half anatomage yeah so when when we're supposed to start preparing and thinking mushiya dig when live mushiya radik what is that mean just stop paying your bills mushiya who pay them what's gonna be when Messiah comes and waha to Mojave mean harlots and only the good part of the aids had ass will remain what's gonna wake you up in the morning this may after sinha's Hashem this is what is gonna keep us normal or sane in our time if you can't enjoy the fact that you are necessary and needed and that you have to accomplish something for the a bush there then you have nothing left because the old way is just not working anymore so when people say I didn't ask to be born this is the cure this is the good news because once you get that half right then it's easy to get the second half right I kneel aim the RACI okay so tell me what I'm doing here and then everything becomes healthy and normal and happy so when Messiah comes and that ever says very strongly mitzvahs are not Batali's losted lovely FASFA : primarily the differences Mitzvahs can be but tailors losses lovely because the Rambam Pascal's that the mitzvahs are llama Wilma alum him and you don't mess with the damn bomb then I'm BAM past that then it can't be any other way so the mitzvahs are not the tailors losses lovely the mitzvahs are not given for our benefit because we don't need anything so why why miss it as nefesh because there is a much greater more important reason to live than your needs and that is derivative tenant and just for the record did Abba Tottenham doesn't mean the a barista needs an apartment he hired us to build him the apartment and when the apartment is finished he'll pay us for our work and he'll have his apartment and where are we gonna go make yourself your own apartment this is not did of the tough day in him the a bridge that doesn't need a dealer to be by himself because to be by himself he didn't have to create the world in the first place a dealer is necessary when you have a relationship when you're married you need a dealer when you're single you don't need a did you live in a dormitory you sleep on a pension 770 you don't need a dealer so when the a bridge that says we also li mikdash you imagine the a Fisher says we also li mikdash and everybody runs out to the hardware store to get some hammers and nails saws and a bridge that says we're here to paint well you said Russell emic - so there's just no vishanti beside home they can't you take a hint if a man says to a woman let's let's build a home and she runs out and buys two-by-fours before she created it the way you said you want to build a home it's a sneeze that your way of saying marry me if you also leave make those but Vishal haunted boo say hum baby she doesn't wanna did a bit of thing and where he can walk you out leave me alone I'm going to my dinner now we are the data be tottenham so is that not exciting that's not a reason to get up there's no question this is going to be the future of all psychology when a person comes to the psychologist a year from now and says I have so many problems I have so many worries I'm nervous I'm anxious and the psychologist will say so what a barista needs something from you why aren't you doing it and that'll cure him so right what am I worried about if you think about it this is sidess but the way that ever sees it for a person to sit for six hours under a Tullis in order to develop a little more obviously slow so you're worried do I have a verses wrong I don't have a verses in all verse verse scratch this on us take off the talus buy a one-way ticket to a community somewhere where you're not invited and you're not wanted and nobody knows you and we'll see your oppositional so instead of looking inside look at the world ask yourself what does they bestow expect of this world and how can I help and the result will be a vs. know if you sit under the talus today hoping to have a versus well chances are you're going to get pretty sick the cases we have today is not for avoiding me there are Veda today is a Veda in a zoo las and that's not only burrows news that's push it in mental health in mental health if you want to be healthy think about somebody else as soon as you start thinking about yourself you're going downhill this is the reality now practically speaking when we are told that we are the last generation of golus and the first generation of gula it's kind of a warning it's not all good news because to be in goals is goalless to be in gula is wonderful to be a half year and a half there is very difficult so when the leper says we are the last generation of Golda's in the first generation of gula put on your seatbelts this is gonna be one crazy ride so how should we function like we're in gold oh so like we're in gülen a little bit goalless a little bit golden what do we do I mean the practical question is I have the opportunity to start a building project should I or machine is coming so what so we have to act as if we're only in goals but we have to know that we're in gold very difficult it's it's a it's a big mess Orion so on the one hand I didn't ask to be born I don't want this I can't stand this lung it up stop making demands of me but I don't yet have the with shamash as Craney so I'm halfway out of goals not completely in Google it's craziness the good news is that which we considered a ruthless decay of either part of Yiddish Kai part of from kite now it has push it become part of nature the says the shin is coming down the matter what used to be Himmel dick is now becoming natural so who is saying I don't want these burdens I don't need this I didn't ask to be born who was saying I'm Neil Lane the RACI not the Froman the average guy in the street it's becoming nature but we have the answer we have the cure we have the direction we have the wisdom so before people get into serious problems we have to start teaching you don't have to so when the zeda says that that's davon and adopts Lehtonen and the a knuckle says if they're finished who's right the a nickel is right that's why the Zetas are losing this battle in the end because I eat year - yeah that's true because tell me what the conclusion is do moose Davin name answer answer that the most infamous name - - yet why what's the answer eventually you have to resort to a threat that is relevant you're not gonna you're not gonna find that good shooter some kind of a threat which is no longer a good answer we can't live life just to avoid death it's kleppner I don't know why it worked in the past maybe because you had a Tsar you had an emperor you had a king and you got used to the fact that you you you better obey laws I was driving this girl from base Hana I was driving her to the bus station years ago it was late at night she had to catch a bus there was no traffic this is Minnesota after nine o'clock so there's no traffic there's no cars on the road and I'm taking her to the to the bus what are we talking in the car she's completely new to you describe why are there so many Commandments why are there 613 whatever who made them who gave them where'd they come from anyway I was speeding a cop comes out of nowhere pulls me over he says don't you believe in obeying laws we both cracked up you know like I'm not even gonna tell you you won't even believe how many I bet it was such a perfect question are they don't you believe in obeying laws no I'm an American there's no Tsar nobody's gonna kill me no I don't I don't even know if there's a president so what whose laws what laws it it doesn't work anymore now Herman Wouk said to the ribbon in the 50s how are you gonna get people to be Froome this is you know you can't tell Americans what to do you can't tell Americans to do anything there's in the 50s and that ever said you can't tell them to do anything but you can teach them to do everything because this is not Russia here you can do everything so what's this asylum but that's the key the key is you can't tell people that they have to they need and they must they're not listening it bounces off them and they resent it what you have to tell them is you are so necessary you are so necessary and the vast eternal plan for which the a brush that created the world no it's not about you and you don't need but you can serve Him that's the only answer that's it we're down to that truth and that fact not from religious reasons and not from heavenly reasons and not from Adel the reasons just because that's the truth of life that's sanity that's healthy that's true and the rabbit tells children to memorize that the zucchini what kind of socking does he choose d rabbit Arcanum and sim has Hashem the dealers a bit octane which means not about you not about you so if the assertion by simcha is not a requirement if the assertion by Sinclair is a promise if you stop thinking about yourself and you do what the a Bristol asks you will be Basim ha you will be healthy if you think about what you need the simpler is gone even if you have what you need which could explain why people who are successful and rich and famous are committing suicide again it used to be a person with terrible terrible problems in a real Clem and he doesn't know what to do and how to get out of the problem that such a person commits suicide what's what's the suicide today what is this it's because you can't fool your own nature one more look at them I wished I could just talking to somebody about this what does Hasid this consider insanity they you know you know the joke but a guy who comes running to his love and he says lebra I need I need help mine is only Meshuggah given my son isn't singing he dances with women he eats Hazzard and I'm shooting it so the rabbi said to him sit down let me explain something to you if your son danced with a hosel and eight women that would be insane dancing with women and eating has a Torah managed don't mix sanity with sanctity what what is considered insane so if you look Justin Tanya ain't no damn hate Allen conditioners barrage to us in the bottom AV Rivera what is the what is the roughness a name a keyless McCamey if you don't know yourself you're crazy if you have illusions if you're not real in your own assessment in who you are you're crazy therefore if you are not aware that you're a Jew and you don't act like a Jew you are crazy well how many times it did ever say that how can a Jew who is not being a healthy Jew be a healthy human you got it you gotta know who you are where you are what do we have to know in order to be sane what does it mean to be mocking makayley and this is the punchline every person is gonna say to you what do you mean I don't need I need to eat I need to sleep octopus Hashem Hashem Ahad means there are no two needs there's only his I need to eat is not a correct statement I explained this once to a girl who was anorexic and it helped I need to eat I don't need to eat it's not true it's not correct I need to eat I need to stop eating and if Kennish it it's not my need I didn't create myself layha mana share asani I this I want to eat snitch Nemus I want to sleep half my life away now I don't but a hunter's camp later so who needs me to sleep the umaña shadow sunny the a brush that decided that I have to eat and the a brush to decided that I have to sleep by saying I need it that's that's Portia that we have my freedom what are you creating another god it's the a bridge that's plan that you should eat and you claim that it's yours listen mama shall we dissolve so what's the truth I don't need to eat if I had my choice if I could go without ever eating again I Messiah so it's not a need and it's not mine it's a handicap that I sometimes resent cluelessness Aldus Hashem I'm saying this to a non-jewish audience what does it mean monotheism you know we're so proud the Jews gave the world monotheism that was 3000 years ago have you done anything lately monotheism of course doesn't mean there's only one God it means there's only one architect you don't make needs you don't create needs you don't have needs the average that makes it the a bridge that chooses it and it's all for divine purposes listen to how godliness comes down to earth what does it mean behold refer her to a lemn besides call myself I will your fame shamayim there's beholder of her father a you what does that mean if you eat with shame shamayim how do you do that you have a qivana to charge the eating you have a governor that the Curia you get from this food you used to do a mitzvah those haste eating with shame shamayim like all the people who sit down by a Shabbos meal and help themselves to the third kugel because Kovich Shabbos Cledus shame Shama every time you eat you are eating because that's what the a Buster wants fashion is rank Ivana it's a fact the only reason human beings eat is because I was a builder a fact so how do you eat with shame Shania how do you eat not wishing shamayim you have to invent your own need you can't invent things so you don't need to eat everything you do you go to sleep or you what are you doing you're doing what the eBrush that created you to do the Hudspeth calling it your own that's a vedas own that's a precursors so if you say eat that Essen you're an applicator who made you for AB for a Bala boss so this bottle years ago from America went to brunoise this is before brunoise heads it says you know what's it say indoor toilets before before they had running water indoors this American bata went to learn in beurre noir he didn't last a month using newspaper for toilet paper not for an American boy so he came back but he was a different person he was a different person for the rest of his life why this is really sums it all up perfectly the day he arrived he went into the office to listen and he said if that roof and the Mammon got a call my mother tell her I arrived he said I have to call my mother and listen said vas mayn't he who was main Dolph what do you mean I and what do you mean need it changed it changed him it clicked I need to call my mother no you don't what would be the correct way to say it my mother needs to know that I arrived I need this temas but we thought that that was like a Nevada that was like a beetle that was like Scalia that was like for the hey Ricky no no it's just not true dude arsonist anyway never a see that's normal that is mental health emotional stability that's it this is the machiya half of our existence until that becomes popular and widespread and established we still have to look for treatment secure you still have to give people a compliment you have to listen to their problems you have to hear them you have to sympathize you have to feel their pain then tell them you don't have problems Mahabharata davin physically ie do what the a bridge that asks and you'll be fine and it's true Pacha B'gosh me is true so the fact that you're honest with us is the strongest proof the strongest validation of this idea the reason you're healthy the reason you're normal the reason you're stable the reason you're emotionally more or less okay because you're unsure lewis think about it if you were not honest with us you know what you would be scary to think but because your problem is not you you are the healthiest people in the world and others are noticing and they're jealous so don't keep it a secret tell people what keeps you sane and it'll help them be sane also we have time for some conversation questions who isn't who's in charge here yeah so any questions yes no yeah if a person does something he's not allowed to do that's what they burst I wanted him to do or he decided to do it exactly the point exactly the point the AIT's a harder comes and says you know what Davis just said but you need right that's where it all begins the whole problem begins with the word I there was a school of medicine that says that every illness every illness emotional physical mental every illness is behavior that is appropriate someplace else but not appropriate here and that this is really a useful a useful tool when a person is behaving a certain way that is crazy the thing you want to do is identify where this behavior is not crazy if you can identify where the behavior is not crazy the person will stop behaving that way for example woman is sitting crying big tears nobody cares nobody pays attention to me I'm all alone I said oh you're an orphan she said no oh because you just sounded like an orphan if nobody cares and nobody helps me I'm gonna die like an orphan but you're not an orphan says no I'm not I'm working it stopped that that feeling nobody cares and nobody it went away cuz I'm not an orphan once you identify the behavior for where it belongs you can't fake it anymore even subconsciously so every illness is a behavior that is necessary and correct someplace else but not here even physically you get a cramp a muscle cramp what is that when you're picking up a heavy weight your muscles have to tighten so when you're lifting the weight and your muscle tightens perfect you're not lifting away than your muscle tightens that's crazy that's in a pria so every inappropriate behavior is an illness a Jew who is acting like he's not Jewish is not good is not healthy by definition that is an unhealthy person a person comes to you and says howdy how do you help a person who has needs he feels needs and he and he's suffering from them you say that's terrible and soap every day you have to go to work and you have to fight all those people and you have to compete with everybody else really that is so miserable why why do we have to do that so now you're his best friend because you understand him the next step is actually we don't need this I would resent having all those burdens and all those what do I need it for and the best example of course is sadaqa you're asking him to give it to Daka does he need it he needs to give sadaqa he doesn't and that's the best part of the whole sadaqa thing the best part of sadaqa is you don't need to do this somebody needs your help so to boil it down so that you can remember the whole the whole thing the bath either uber hatha behind what exactly are we choosing that that means something the choice the bolita is a very simple thing you can either focus on your needs which makes you needy or you can focus on what you are needed for which makes you happy and that's the Heian game with the Alta Everett all the faucet first do - your needs you spoke about you have a whole list what are you needed for you didn't even mention and the person became our new human being the the future is a super human being when we're not gonna die you're not gonna be able to use that as a threat when Jahannam is closed you're not gonna use that as a threat so what are we gonna be bigger than human not needy necessary do omit sir do what you don't need but somebody needs that'll make your life livable but first you have to empathize and sympathize and show that you understand that attackee is a burden and we shouldn't be burdened we're not animals we're not donkeys we shouldn't be carrying around burdens you talk about others talk about his kids how do you convince a person who's completely happy that there's more to life you talk about those who are unhappy and then he has to be able to apply it to himself in his quiet moment this is this is really not only life-changing it could be life-saving I've I've seen it happen Harshit saved lives people who are on the verge of quitting and and it turned around [Music] you don't want everybody in a Kappa don't don't go there that only proves the problem why why have we been not we people have been telling others to be religious because of the benefits this will give you peace of mind and this will give you stable family and this will protect you from cancer whatever right why do we do that because we're working with the assumption that people have needs and if you provide their needs they'll be your best friend that's what used to be it's not working anymore now we have to introduce a whole new idea what you don't need is the best thing in the world no it's not about you what a relief you take the the depressing suicidal motivation out of the picture it's not about you you're absolutely right you don't need burdens and you don't need challenges and you need tests nothing nothing but but you are absolutely necessary in a divine plan so when you do a mitzvah you are doing something you don't need and again this is part of the Deborah's revolution even mitzvahs that are that are that are logical and and sensible and seemingly necessary the Mishpatim they really hook him it's such a relief you don't have to be a ha command you don't have to be outside they can you don't we're not asking you for any of these challenges or do what you're needed for that's that's light that that's that's buoyant it gives you high as it doesn't take from you highest so anyway actually I was speaking to a to a minister and a pastor in Minnesota and they're all very polite very nice you know it's Minnesota I'm introduced to this guy he's in his 60s and with without any bad feelings he said his first words were so do you believe in the Savior so I said I don't know too much about Christianity but I'm not looking for a God that's going to save me I'm looking for a God whom I can serve this man started to cry he says I never even thought of it this this is working you tell somebody you're so needy why you need do what they wish the wants wow what a relief people react to it so strongly and so positively except from a union really for me oh my avoid my tikkun take on I have to make a tick one way my ball get hmmm you're gonna go to Gangnam stop it already settle down and you won't be the only one there sorry exactly you have who to talk to actually this is one final thing I was explaining to a group of people that Gehenna is not it's not a place you go to get in them what do you do there oh you burn yeah and that that's your punishment you don't go to get in them because Gehenna ms not a place there's no such place Gehenna means they painful adjustment to being on the genre without a goof when you're so used to being a goof I explained that in a way and this one woman summed it up so well I never put it in these words at it so she says oh so what you're saying is getting to heaven is hell that's exactly right what is getting them Gehenna means the painful past together you don't go together it's not a destination on your way to Gandhi then you you so it's a difficult path so getting to heaven is hell so what you you want to get there without you don't want to go to get to get the gun Aden getting together so for some people it's 12 months and for some people it's a week and for some people it's ashmac take a whiff you got it okay you're gonna vater Jahannam is the path to gun aid then it's not a place so yeah so you're gonna go through Gehenna what do you expect not to go through Gavin you go straight to GaN Eden so all that self-serving and today really it's an insult when people say if you want somebody to become more observant you got to tell them what's in it for them no you don't not today today it ruins it any sensible human being if you say you know if you keep Mitzvahs you'll be healthier you'll be richer God will bless you God turns them off doesn't work if you tell them do something you don't need stop talking about yourself my son is Santa Cruz started a course for prisoners basically on this subject and the prisoners developed that the ones who took the course they developed like a code among themselves and when when the conversation gets a little too intense one of them will say wait are we still talking about you and everybody lightens up no not about me this is what is working for today's generation and you got to start very young very young and the experts say you should ask your child would you like this or dad give them choices the color of their cereal what they want to wear today whether they want to go to this park or that park whether they want to go to the park or they don't want to go to the park don't do that make them crazy put out some cereal if they're hungry they'll eat it don't make a menu first of all don't make an issue out of food that's that's before and important children should not be too picky with food but also the idea give them choices yeah not about this not about food not about colors not about so what do you want to do today you want to go to the park you're talking to a three-year-old tell them you're going to the park don't burden people even at a young age and when you tell them to make a blocker you tell them the a bush that is waiting to hear about not you have to make a brother talk straight anyway that's La Habra enjoy the canoes [Applause]

Channel: Chassidus with Rabbi Manis Friedman

Views: 6,060

Rating: 4.9157896 out of 5

Keywords: Rabbi Manis Friedman, Manis Friedman, 11213.org, 11213org, Chabad Chassidus, Chabad, Chassidus, Tanya, Kabbalah, Torah, Daily Study, Judaism, Jewish Thought, Jewish

Id: mqoAt9vYULM

Length: 68min 46sec (4126 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 12 2019