- Tooth fairy
- Not really, nope. - Weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, - Not real (all laugh hysterically) - [Narrator] Smosh Pit Theater. - Welcome to Smosh Pit Theater - That's right - Today we're going to be
reenacting some lovely things Christmas stories from our own lives. So one by one, we're
going to give you a little quick synopsis of the
story and then everybody since we're all so connected - Is going to be like,
"We know what happened, we know what this look like," and we're going to help show you exactly what that looked like.
- Yes Yes, because memories are often fickle and you need help from
friends to really rebuild them and to show them how
they actually happened. These are stories from our personal lives, we're going to get up
and tell them ourselves. And I think I'll begin. (upbeat tone) Hi. (all laughing) So my Christmas story is actually just kind of an overall arc. I love Christmas. I do love Christmas, but I
really loved it as a kid. And I truly believed in
Santa for a long time. But it was around like eight or nine that I realized I was like, "Okay, no." But my mom was so determined to make sure that I believed in Santa that I was probably roughly 13 or 14 when she was still like, "No he's... I mean, I think he's real. Like I definitely think he's real." - Oh my God - I had to... I was like every year I would be just like, "Mom no, it's not." It's not. He's not real I she's like,
"I think, no, he's real." - Oh my God. - Like, but my parents were also... they didn't like, to have
that much commitment, and then also to not back it
up sometimes with actions, cause on Christmas morning I'd always wake up around
6:00 AM, like super excited. And my parents would not have
the gifts by the tree yet. So I would be I'd wake up and
then make sure you'd be like, "Keep your door shut and knock on the door 'cause santa might not be done yet." And so I'd start coming
out and they're like, "No no no Santa's not done" - Oh my God - 'Cause you guys woke up and just started setting up gifts now. (mumbles) So they like... And then I would be like,
"Yeah no, it's not real." She's like. "He's here," - I just left yeah
- Oh my God What if your mom actually
just really does believe in Santa clause?
- She might (upbeat tone) - Shayne what would you say
you're were about this tall? - Oh my God
(all laugh) - And action. - It's Christmas, it's Christmas - Honey no, don't look
Santa's not done yet. He in the bathroom, honey. Why don't you go, why don't you go back? Why don't you go back, huh? - Santa's in the bathroom? - Yes, yeah honey you know it's (all laughing) You know its 3:00am honey. Are you sure you're not tired? - I don't know. 3:00 AM is Santa going to the bathroom, kind of might seem like
maybe santa is not real. (all laughing) (breaks glass) - Don't you say that (all laughing) Don't you say that, santa is real and he is in the bathroom. He's in the bathroom and
he's having a hard stool. (all laughing hysterically) Now you go back to bed
and you wish him the best, and he's going come back out here. Okay? you do that. - Okay. - Okay, and you don't come out after that. - Okay. - Okay? - Mommy, you think maybe for
Christmas we could get santa a colonic? (mumbles) (all clapping) - So that's exactly what happened right? - That's exactly what happened. (upbeat tone) - My one friend, she had a
Christmas party in 8th grade, but this friend group,
they were the popular girls but like I was the runt, where like everyone hated me, but I was still invited
to things for some reason. So go to this Christmas party right? And it was crazy because
it was boys and girls. (all mumble) - A bogirl party
- I know, eighth grade... A bogirl party. And this one girl who
we've actually heard about in our diary videos, Brittany who was convinced I was a bra stuffer. She was going to be at this party. And next thing you know,
I'm in the backyard I'm scared of her right? I am with some girl and she comes out and she's like ready to confront me. And she goes, "I saw paper
towels in your shirt," And I was like,
- What the fuck - I was like paper towels are huge, what are you talking about? (all laughing) The girl who hosted the party came out and broke the fight up. And so we were kind of all separated. And I guess her mom Laney's
mom was going to end the party if people were fighting. So she convinced Brittany
come apologize to me. She came up to me and was
like, "I'm sorry or whatever." And I was like, "No,
you shouldn't say things if you don't mean it." And then like the drama was over. And then later that night we
were playing truth or dare. And she dared me to
kiss a very popular boy. She was like, I dare you to
kiss Leroy, and I was like-- - Leroy? (all laughing)
(mumbles) - Can we like crack a Jack box? - And I was like looking at Leroy And Leroy was like, "No," And I was like, "Yeah no, no way. I'm not going to do that.
(mumbles) And yeah, everything was fine. The party was over and jokes on you, I totally did stuff in my bra
and I don't care about it. (all applauding) (upbeat tone) - And action. - Stuff in my bra... crazy... (mumbles) - What you working on there? Some kind of boob stuffing project? (all laughing) - No. - Yeah, why don't I show you
what some real ones look like? That's why they call me, Booby Brittany, (all laughing) - Well I see them Brittany, booby Brittany,
- Yeah. - You know, having big
boobs isn't all that. - Oh really? Because I think if I was
a couple inches taller you wouldn't be able to
make eye contact with me, (all laughing) - Honestly, I'm having a hard time making eye contact right now ooh - Is that right? is that because I ate all the onion dip and we're real close.
(all chuckling) I don't like you and you don't like me and everybody likes these. So let's just put these bygones behind us and continue on with this party because I happen to know
that Leroy's in there, and his lips are real
moist and oily right now. So I'm not ending this night before someone gets a kiss. (suspenseful music) - Hey guys it's me.
(all giggling) - Don't screw this up for me.
- I would never-- - That's oily lips Leroy. - I know I know,
(all laughing) he's the most popular guy in school. - With a name like Leroy
how could he not be? - Oh God, he's so hot. - What's that? You want me to what?
(all laughing hysterically) Hey, Courtney, I double
dog dare you to kiss Leroy right on the lips. Leroy what do you think about that? (all laughing hysterically) - Yeah I didn't want to kiss him, Leroy the most popular kid in school. I would never want to kiss
him with his oily lips or anything like no, what? - I do, I want to kiss
him more than anything. The deep insecurities that I feel, I project on to others. And that's why I can't let
this friendship blossom as much as I have. - Hey Britney, I have
a little secret for you - What's that? - I just stuffed my bra - You son of a bitch. (all applauding) (upbeat tone) - I don't even know what year this is. It was the year that we came out, then Nintendo week came out
and I wanted it for Christmas. It was sold out all in the United States, there was no way to possibly get it I really wanted that
Wii... Just for backstory I learned about the Wii through South Park not even kidding through the South Park
episodes about the Wii. So I begged from parents to get it begged and begged and begged. And I didn't actually expect it to arrive because I knew that they were all sold out well unbeknownst to me, my dad somehow was able
to get it from somehow, he probably ordered it online. (all chuckling) - Don't ruin the mystery (mumbles) - Yeah. He got one shipped from
Japan, which was super cool 'cause I got in one of the first Wiis ever opened it up, plugged it in, played it, and I think everyone knows
where it goes from there but Wii was probably the most
disappointing gaming console. (all laughing) - In my whole life
- Are you serious? - Never, Oh my God. Wii sports is the best game on the Wii, what else is there to do on the Wii? - I mean are we going to go
ahead and stop this video so I have 10 minutes to school you--
- I mean (soft music) I did not find anything
that I enjoyed on the Wii. I enjoyed Wii Sports, that was about it. - How quickly were you disappointed? Were you disappointed on the day? - On the day. - You were like immediately bummed out
- On the day. - On the day, 100%. - What did you think the
Wii was going to be like? - I had played X-Box,
I had played computer, so I think when I opened it
up and it was like a weird... Like everything from
the way that it looked, it looked like a child's kind of like... Like if I was like in
an online learning game. (upbeat music) - All right it's Christmas day. You know how it is? Were you about to smoke
like, my dad used to? That's funny. (all laughing) I saw it coming yeah, but that's accurate. All right Christmas day, action. - So son - Yeah dad - I want you to check
in that box right there. - Yeah. - And see what you got. - Oh my God. - And let me know what you think. - Well, there's definitely
no way it could be a Wii 'cause they're literally gone, there's a drought of Wii's, I heard about... I've been
reading from South Park. - South Park, what's that? - South Park, my only form of
media where I get all my news. - Oh, wow, well look in
there might be a PS three. - I hope it's not a PS
three, that'd be weird. 'cause that's not out yet. (all laughing) It is okay, I get all
my news from South Park. (all laughing) Oh my God, there's no
way its a fucking Wii. - Hurry up son - There's no way it could be a Wii - The suspense is killing me. - I fully determined that it's not a Wii - It's definitely not a Wii son. - It's a... (Noah screams) - Noah Noah - It is a Wii dad I love you - Give me a hug baby - Dad I love you so much I
hope you quit smoking one day (all laughing) - I hope you love it, me and your mum did it for you we got it from Japan. - Here - All right, do you need any help? I think your pretty smart--
- No dad I don't, its a Wii - Okay, I'd appreciate it
if you stop yelling at me I got you a Wii from Japan. - I thought the controller
would be like a controller but it's just this weird stick. - But I thought you knew that already. - Yeah I know everything
about the Wii dad, I know that it does VR. - You told me everything-- - I know that it can talk. I know that it also functions as a gun. (all laughing) It does everything, it does
the Wii, it does everything. If you get poisoned,
- Son just-- there's a little meal
that comes out of the Wii you stick it in your butt
and it gives you the antidote - Oh wow. - That's it, the Wii does everything - I probably shouldn't have got it for you son.
- I'm going to play it dad. - Okay. - Dad, I hope you quit smoking one day. - I can't - It'd make me so happy. - Okay, okay, so there's Wii sport and where's the where's the... I thought there'd be halo. (all laughing) - Son this isn't the play station. - So I can just play... I can just bowl on this? What the (beep) (beep) this, (beep) this Christmas. This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me - Son we got it from Japan - I'm sorry that you made a deal with the Yakuza to get a Wii. But its worthless - Son I'm so sorry - It's going to be just bowling but worse - But bowling is fun - Its bowling but it just
(indistinct) that's all it is (all applauding) (upbeat tone) - I was in elementary school still. I was growing up and all of my friends, you know like we would
get clothes here and stuff and we liked to dress. Like I like to look cool and you know, all that's always been a part of me, but this was the first year that my cool auntie who used
to shop for me for Christmas. And she used to give me all types of toys. She didn't give me one damn toy. And I had a problem with that. (all chuckling) So what I did is I caused
like, I started some (beep) and I started it in the
most passive aggressive way. And usually like, now,
like the way I am now, I'm like, "Yo I'm going to
tell you how it is, this is what the (beep) this is how
we going to deal with it" (laughs) Back then it was like I let
her know what just my eyes barely said anything, I was just like "Why didn't you get me toys?" And she was just like... She honestly... Honestly right now I feel so bad, just like going back because like I remember her going to
the back room and crying (all mumble) I didn't give a (beep) (all laughing) - She got me shirts. She got me shirts, sweater, she got me this cool like orange sweater. It's cool now. But like back then I just did not-- - She got you a bunch of stuff though. - She got me... yeah she got me
- She put a lot of thought-- This is the thing, she
always got me a lot of stuff, this year was just wasn't a
lot of toys, there was no toys. It was like, yo you're
probably like 11, 12 or so. So like, I don't need to
like get you toys anymore. Like you're too big boy. You know? But I was like, no, like
my friend's got toys and I'm over here just
with a nice ass shirt. This auntie, she still gives
me $40 every Christmas. (all mumble) She does, so I love you aunt Bernadine (all clapping) (upbeat tone) And action. - Merry Christmas little kid - Aunt Bernadine, you're my favorite aunt. Aunt, aunt, aunt because
you always get me toys (all laughing) Toys, you remember last year, wait aunt Bernadine last year, you got me the monster
truck, it was this big. Right? And then my sister Kiera,
she was really mean to me. So I threw the monster truck
at her and it broke her arm. (all laughing) - I think you'll really like
this present I got this year - Oh my God. Did you get me a Ken doll? (all laughing) - Not quite, I mean Ken
dolls like to wear clothes. You remember Ken doll
- You're right you got me a Tarzan doll,
he doesn't wear clothes. - Little different from that. let me get your present here. - Okay okay-- - Okay can you--
- I want to guess it first. - Okay - Is it a baseball bat? (all chuckling) - No, not quite a baseball bat, It's something that you
can use to express yourself and look cool. - You got me a coloring book
with 18 different colors of water paint and maybe
some oil options as well. (all laughing) (mumbles) - It's a nice fabric, it's soft. - Oh my gosh. - You're going to love it. - Oh my gosh, I've got
to open it right now, I know it's a BMW I8
with a leather interior, (all laughing) - I got all your measurements perfect. - Oh my gosh, you already measured how
happy I'd be with a toy. (all laughing)
Okay auntie before I open this I just want to say you're my favorite and nothing would ever change
that in the whole world. - Perfect (beep) (dooms day tone) (all laughing) (profuse breathing) (both scream) - He doesn't like it, he doesn't like it, I measured him in his sleep
and I got it perfect (mumbles) - I made that happen (all applauding) (upbeat tone) - All right, so I found out very early on that Santa was not real. I think it was like maybe
I was five years old and I just learned that
Barney wasn't real. And I think that just sort of sparked-- - Wait what? - Yeah, buddy I'm sorry. I still believe in him. I think his real, like I'm your mom there. So I went up to my dad and just during conversation
to me taking my allergy meds I was just like, "Dad
Santa isn't real, is he?" And he goes, and his mindset was like, well if you're old enough to ask, you're old enough to know. So he was like, "Well,
you know, no, he's not." And I was like, okay,
"Tooth fairy, Easter bunny?" And he's like, "Yeah, no,
it's not real, it's just fun." And I was like, "Okay, that makes sense." And I wasn't disappointed at all, I was excited by the information. It's like, I learned something new. I'm a grown up kid now,
I know all this stuff. So the second my mom gets in the door. I run up to her and I'm like, "Mom mom guess what dad just
told me, santa is not real." And she was livid. (all laughing) (upbeat tone) - And action. (sneeze released) - Talk about you son what you thinking of? (all laughing hysterically) - I was thinking maybe I should take my allergy medication right now. - No, go ahead. Oh, it's the ones right
there in front of you. They're red and white, like a certain not real person. (all laughing) Remind you of anything? Kind of round, kind of jolly? (giggles) - Hey dad? (all laughing) - Yes son? - Santa isn't real right? - Hell no. There he is that's my kid.
(all giggling) Any other questions? - So like the tooth fairy-- - Nope. - Okay, Easter bunny? - Nope. - Gosh, what else, tooth fairy? - Not real, nope. - Weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. - Not real. (all laughing hysterically) - What else isn't real? - Oh, straight up a equality in the US (all laughing) look I know you're like
(beep) four or something but am glad you are awake. We're in a fucking simulation kid. (all laughing) - Honey am home - Mom you'll never guess
this santa is not real, we're in a simulation and dad told me that if I
really wanted to, I could drive (all laughing hysterically) (all applaud) - God that's good. - Oh my gosh (all laughing) I think it's very clear
we all love Christmas and have just some really... memories that happened (all mumble) of Christmas that-- - Experiences - Yeah we were around for some Christmases and they happened. Hope you guys enjoyed this and let us know down below what your favorite Christmas stories are. Let us know if there's
something insane that's happened on Christmas or around the holiday season. Let us know and also make
sure to like, subscribe and hit that notification bell. - We have more memories
for you guys to watch. There's two of them right here. There actually called (indistinct) plenty of good memories that
we've made with each other as well. - [All] Happy holidays. - Did we just like do a version of therapy all together right now?
