One Eyed Man In Front Row | Andrew Schulz | Stand Up Comedy

but I gotta ask you a question at the end you have one eye I thought that [ __ ] for the last 45 minutes for the last 45 straight minutes I've been looking over everyone smile back dude this guy blinks with one eye a lot bro what sick is there no way what happened you got a shot out with a roman candle were you holding it - this is crazy so another kid is holding a roman candle he lights it and you're like well the top of that looks cool yeah yeah he's really setting the mood for this [ __ ] huh you telling this story like a girlfriends you don't do patch bro you don't go patch ever he said he used to do a patch but he's - so who was laughing a Somalian look [Applause] haha they think that a pirate we will show you Pyrex the pass gets too sweaty you got women you got you got kicked out of the Navy they don't like that [ __ ] dude yeah but you could be the guy in the submarine right cuz you only need one well you come in with one either like boy do we at the job for you Johnson you guys are black you're not you're Indian you're what are you you're a little mixing now the Indian next to you is Indian obviously do you think I would think you're the Indian one between him and you I got the full Indian outfit on blue button-down grey pants but you're black and some other [ __ ] what other [ __ ] dad is black her mom is black dad's dad is Indian wait are you like Trini or some [ __ ] Kenyan and then just married a regular Indian for no reason so you're saying in the year 1900 an Indian woman was allowed to marry a black Kenyan man shenanigans there's no way this is no way let me tell you how that would have to happen that Indian woman would have to get lost and walk to Kenya [Applause] who arranged that wedding him everything looks to do die soon it was fun he's black oh my girl I must have been looking with your own amazing wow that's amazing dude unreal how's that are they what's their relationship how did they even meet it was in the army two Indians have an army well that's adorable every time someone invades like Thank You Cole Pakistan so tricky so Nikki Pakistan but thank you going in so hold on so your mom was in the Indian Army your grandma was in the Indian Army so there's a woman in the Army in the 1900s early 1900s in India all this [ __ ] is not real I mean are there any other can you you're Indian Indian what's that huh are you the mom with the [ __ ] Thank You Wikipedia who the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] over here how would you know if it's real it could be a complete lie that they made up a female Indian commander of the Army in the Year 1906 Indian women just started working like five years ago what do you plug

Channel: The Andrew Schulz

Views: 2,004,154

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, brilliant idiots, flagrant 2, podcast, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, charlamagne, charlemange, breakfast club, interviews

Id: QGWb6y9VyaM

Length: 5min 8sec (308 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 13 2020