- Hey, I'm nut. I've done some of these
dating shows before and everyone said that I was
really, really good at it. So now I'm here to help some of my friends who are bad at it. This is Love versus Nut. We are here now with
my first client, Jess. You guys might know Jess from
the one rizz video we did. - Hi. - Oh, hey. - So in case you forgot my name's Jess, but you can call me Mommy. - I'm not. No, I'm not gonna call you that. So why are you here? - Well, I feel like I'm
not doing a good job. Despite how the videos went, you're very good at rizzing. I feel like you're very direct and I think you going in with fresh eyes, I think you'll be able
to suss out these dudes. - What's your usual type in a man? - I like guys that have bi wife
energy, if that makes sense. I like typically go for guys that look like they eat cigarettes. I like men with golden retriever-y energy, but like a chill golden retriever. - I don't know. Okay, so you're looking for a bisexual dog who eats cigarettes, I guess. Cool. This is gonna go really well. - I have three dogs by the way. - So you're looking for another dog? - It's like if my dog likes you and you're in my dog's home, like she's the boss. - If a guy's got like a weird, like a ponytail or
something, is there like a something that is a turn off? - I actually really like long hair. - I was just doing a hypothetical. - Oh, but I do like that. And I also have a thing for hands. I like nice hands. - So they have to have hair and hands. - Yes, I would say
something I don't like is, I don't like fitness guys. Like if you have like so many abs or like a lot of muscles,
it's just kind of aggressive. Like, relax buddy. - Yeah, it's like calm down. What are you- - Exactly, yeah, - I agree. That's why I don't work out. - I don't run unless I'm being chased, so. - How often are you being chased? - I don't know. It's LA.
- Often? Oh my God. Okay, cool. So someone who is not good at
running and doesn't work out and has hair and hands. This is gonna be super easy. All right, let's bring in the boys. Hell yeah. - There's so many men. - All right men. We'll just go down the line
and introduce yourselves. Maybe throw in something
you like about Jess. - Yes sir. - Let's start it off. - Hi, my name's Axel Jared. - Hi.
- Nice to meet you Jess. I love your smile. - Hi, my name's AJ. I like your all black. I'm a huge all black guy, so. We're matching. - Hell yeah. - I'm Zeus. I really love your eyes. - Thank you. - Goddamn. Thanks man. Zeus, you look like a Zeus. - I'm Jesse. - Hi. I love your name. - Yeah. - Hi Jess, Joseph. I like your stance. This stance right here. That stance right here.
- Was I doing that? - Yeah, you're doing that the entire time. (guys laughing) - Like a NPC. - What's up? How you doing? I'm Rosebud. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. I definitely love your
whole style and everything. My dad's a designer so I
definitely love the whole fashion mixed with the
chains and everything. And I love your sarcasm too, bro. - I was just being normal. - Hi.
- I'm Zach. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. I love that you're also dead inside. I appreciate that. I am too. - Maybe I'm just dead inside. - You got ass blue eyes. - Thank you. It's genetic.
- I would imagine. - I'm Austin. Nice to see you again. - It's Moss guy. - Love your eyeshadow. Super blue, super cute. - What's the moss guy? - It was from when I was
pretending to be a virgin. I like to collect moss
in my free time and- - Moss? - Like a plant?
- Like the plant, yeah. - You look like you have
sex a lot, actually. (group laughing) - So much. - I did tell him in that video, I was like, you need
to find a moss maiden. - I don't know what that means. You can go back. - My name's Horacio. I was gonna say eyeshadow too, 'cause my favorite color's blue. But I do love your hair. And your beautiful smile. - Thank you. - I'm Forrest. I really like everything going on. I love your eyes, very beautiful. And your teeth, yeah.
- Thank you. - You look like me, but like better. (group laughing) - We're like twins. - Interesting. - All right, so you
just met all these men. Initial thoughts? What are you thinking? Is there anyone who you were like, no? - Yeah, I'm a little overwhelmed. I'm like, how did they get all of you? You're all really good looking. There's some familiar faces in the crowd. - How many familiar faces are here? - Two. So that guy, moss man.
- Uh huh. And this one. - You guys know each other? - We went on a date. - Sort of, yeah.
- It was a good date. - Oh yeah?
- Yeah. - Why was there not another date? I mean, not to air you out or- - There's time for more dates. - That was a good answer. That was what's up. - Hey, is everything okay? - This person has been spamming
me with messages for days. They keep saying that
they're in love with me. It's nuts. - Oh wow. Are you going to reply? - I think I need to cut it off. I'm just trying to focus
on loving myself right now. It's been kind of difficult though. Priorities, you know. - Well, have you considered what self-love really means for you? - I would, but I just don't know how. - Well I have just the thing for you. Go check out Lelo. The timing is perfect because they have some great
Black Friday deals right now to help you explore what
self-love means for you. Oh, and let me text you this real quick. Use code Jubilee five for an extra 5% off
your next Lelo purchase, even on discounted items. - I am so into this. Thank you so- Wait a second. Anyways. Thanks so much Lelo for
sponsoring this episode. Let's get back into it. - Well now you've met the men. I guess before I choose
who you should go out with, write down the name of one of these men that you think you would choose. Strong eye contact boys, it's really working right now, this is your chance. All right, the pick is in. Now it's time for the elimination. I gotta pick three guys. And this is hard 'cause I
think they're all great. Zach? It was just really good eye
contact and I got nervous. You have beautiful eyes. - Thank you.
- Bye. - You're a beautiful soul. - All right, well. Moss man. I didn't remember everyone's names, but I remembered Moss man. - That's okay. - Bye.
- See you. - But I think you're great. Congrats on having had sex before. The final elimination. Rosebud, I'm sorry.
- Rose out. Alright man. - But I think you're really
cool and you have a cool name. - No problem, G. I like your personality. - I like your personality. Now I feel that I
shouldn't have done that. Okay Jess, I just took
away three of your men. How are you feeling? - I'm glad that you had
to do it and not me. They were really good looking and great, but there's also a lot of
good looking and great guys still standing here. - For round two, I'm gonna be interrogating
these men, one-on-one. Jess is in the back room. She's got noise canceling headphones on. She can't hear a thing. And I'm gonna judge them. - Hello sir. - How's it going?
- Good sir. - My man.
- How's it going? - The hat looks necessary. - Thank you. That was a good handshake. - Firm, I try to be as firm as possible. - You seem like a firm guy. - How are you?
- Goddamn. That was a good handshake too. Goddamn. Right off the bat, you're
a great looking guy. - Thanks. - You remind me a lot of myself. I'm getting like Australian. Where's the accent?
- Close. - I was close?
- You were close. - New Zealand.
- There you go. - First of all, what are your intentions with Jess over there? - You know, see where it goes. That's why I'm here. You know, see if we connect. - Just to get to know her,
see if the connection is, if we have a genuine connection, if we can have fun together. - Honestly I'd probably
like use her to fill a void I feel inside when I'm alone. - Oh, okay. What do you do for work? - I work in a restaurant. I'm a server bartender. - That's what's up.
- And manager. - I teach kickboxing,
I do private training and I also compete myself. - How quickly do you think
you could like beat me up? - If we're in a situation, okay, say you were harming Jess right? Boom, okay. You came along and you
were like attacking Jess and I had to protect, right. - This is great. - Because I'm the only one that
could do something about it. Probably 3.5 seconds. - I wouldn't do that but okay. - I do OnlyFans. - That's hard. - No pun intended. - Come on man, that's what's up. How does one get into that profession? - Date a porn star. - Oh, so you dated a porn star, you said? - Yeah, for a little bit. She was like 45. She's in the hall of fame of- - I'm getting good vibes from you. I feel like Jess would like you a lot. I think that you guys
would get along very well. First of all, lemme see your hands. Just put 'em out. They're hands. - Do you see my middle fingers? - Oh your fingers are all messed up. What's going on there? - Oh well I'm a juggler and a gymnastics, but I played college soccer. I was a goalie. - Wait, can we put 'em- Goddamn, okay. I wish I hadn't done that. Also, how do you feel about dogs? - Love dogs. Dogs are great. - Would you kiss a dog? - I do kiss dogs appropriately. - I've never taken care of one. Never had one, never
been responsible for one. But I love them. I like to look at 'em and cuddle. - My favorite animal is tigers, but I mean dogs are just as cool. - I like German shepherds
and golden retrievers. - Okay. - That's it. - But not any of the other ones? - No. - I have a brother, Clyde. He's like 80 something. - What? - He's a beagle. A beagle. - You have a brother who's 85? - Yeah, he has like big long ears. - Oh, it's your dog. - Yeah. - I have two. - You have two dogs? - I have two pugs. - Two pugs? They have heart problems. - Breathing problems also. - What's going on with that? - Oh, but it's adorable though. - Would you juggle right now? - If I had things to juggle, I definitely would juggle right now. - Do we have balls? - What is your relationship history? This is crazy. - I'm definitely like
an old school romantic. So I love going on like romantic dates. Surprise. I like surprise dates. So I've like surprised exes to- Disneyland. - Uh oh, uh oh.
- Uh oh. - I haven't had a relationship
in about three years, four years. - You'd say you're back on the market? - Yeah. - I was in a fraternity so I'm
kind of like for the streets. I've been for the streets for a minute. I've only had like one girl that's like kind of serious. And that was probably like two years ago. - But you're like looking to
settle down now, you think? - I'm interested but I
don't know, we'll see. - Are you ready to commit to Jess? - That is the question right there. - I did ask it, yeah,
- Yeah, yeah. - So we just, we don't know? - No. - Yeah, I'm a long-term relationship guy. I don't believe in like the
whole like hookup culture kind of thing and I just
want to find connections and build off of that and maintain that. - That sounds like LinkedIn. - Oh yeah. - What do you like to do for fun? What's your, do you got
other things going on? - I go to church, my friend. Time in the word, time
in the Bible, prayer. Hanging out with friends. These things are, you
know, important to me and that's what I try to cram
as much free time as I have, I try to cram it with as much- - God.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I like to paint. - What type of stuff do you paint? - Like Bob Ross literally, I just copy his- - Like nature and shit? - The whole thing, yeah. - So do you like going outside
into like nature or whatever? - Yeah, yeah. I like to go to the beach and I'll literally paint the sunset. - Where were you on January 6th 2021? - Fuck, I don't know. I'd have to look at my phone. - Oh you can figure it out later. Is she, do you think like
historically, like your type? - Yeah, I would say so. Either like blonde chicks or
chicks that have blue eyes and she has blue eyes, so. - Does she have blue eyes?
- Yeah. - So if you had to like
categorize yourself as like a type of guy, what type of guy do you think you are? - I think I'm the nice guy, - But not a manipulator. - Oh no, I don't believe in playing games. - What about like two K or- - Yeah.
- That's what's up. He's just like me. Okay, cool. No games but some games. - I think I'm like a
gentleman and very thoughtful. - I'll say I'm a lit guy. - You're a lit guy?
- Yeah. - That's what's up.
- Yeah. - So you mentioned you were on OnlyFans. Let's say hypothetically
like Jess was trying to find your like OnlyFans. Like she was trying to find it. She was obsessed with it or whatever. How would she find it? - Twitter, at jack off Harlow. - Jesus Christ, okay. - [Producer] Okay, now say your goodbyes. - Yeah, get out. Gentlemen, thank you for talking with me. I enjoyed all the conversations. Unfortunately I do have
to eliminate four of you. First one. Axel. It was the void thing. - Yeah. - Kind of scared me. - Thank you man. Appreciate it. The next person I'm going to eliminate. I think Jess wants
something more long term. AJ. I'm sorry. And I would hang out. - I'm down. - That's what- See I gained someone. Okay. The next person I'm choosing to eliminate, I think mostly just because
of religious differences, I would say Joseph. But you seem like a chill, fun guy. Please don't hurt me. You said 3.5 seconds. I'm like watching my- Okay. I am eliminating this
last person just based off of what Jess said is more like her type. Zeus. You kind of give me like a
Ronnie from Jersey Shore vibe and I think you're cool. Congratulations, big three. You guys are going to the next round. So Jess, we're down to
the final three men. I tried to pick some cool guys for you. Now, since it's the last round, I'm gonna go over there. I'm gonna set up some meet
cute improv situations. You guys have to act like it's the first time you've ever met. - Okay. - And I guess we'll just see how it goes. First setting. Jess is sitting at a bar and there's like a weird
guy sitting next to her and she kind of needs like an escape. And action. - Hey, it's so good to see you again. How are you doing? - Oh my gosh, my friend
that I've known for so long. - Yeah, oh my gosh, hi. So how have you been? - I've been so good. (indistinct talking) - Also though, the
guy's like really buffed and like kind of maybe a
little like intimidating. - Is he just looming? Like does he go away? He just stays there? - I guess. Yeah, he left, I guess. And you're thankful, you're grateful. - Oh, yeah, I am. Thank you so much for saving me from this super weird buff dude. - No, yeah, I got you. - It was like super aggressive. - I'm Jesse. - Jess. - Nice to meet you.
- That's easy to remember. What do you like to do? - My passion is I love playing music and- - Okay. - So like, whenever I'm doing that, I pour my whole heart and soul into that. - Do you cry a lot? - No. - Why not? - Do I give the cry vibes? - I don't know. Maybe you're really sensitive. - You know, that's the weirdest thing that I always will be
like, I don't have no idea, is the movie Click, with Adam Sandler? - Yeah, that's sad. - Yeah, it's like towards the end. - That's not weird. - He's like getting older and just like, he sees like his life's like going by and like flashing by and like- - I cried to Ice Age. - What was the scene? - The cave scene. - The cave scene? - Oh, that's sad.
- Yeah. - All right, wrap it up. We don't got all day here. - But also, when I'm not doing music, I am hanging out with my two
girls, my two pugs that I have. - I have to tell you, one of my dogs like, hates like snorty dogs. - But what if my pugs don't
like snort snort though? - I've never met a pug that didn't snort. - Wrap it up. - Well I got two you should meet. - Okay.
- Yeah. - Get her number or something. - Here. My phone, you should
put your number in it. - Okay, yeah, get out. Get the- Get out. (Jesse laughing) - I'm stealing your phone now, leave. - Oh. - Oh, he just let me. Oh he let me rob him. - See? This worked out really well. - That was nice. - Jess, you guys are
walking on the sidewalk. You're a stranger and she just fell and you're like, oh no, I
should protect her or whatever. And action. - Ow. (Horacio pssting) Yeah? - I think you fell. - You think? - I think you- Lemme see. Yeah, you fell. - I did.
- Yeah. Oh no. - Help. - Let's get you up here. I got you, I got you. I just-
- Oh no. Why are you hurting me more? - This is good, this feels like a rom-com. - Did I look really stupid falling? - No, you did that. - Are you lying? - You did as good as you could. - Is your knee bleeding? - Yeah.
- Oh no. - I was bleeding a lot. - I can use that. There we go. - Do you-
- Oh oh. - Do you often-
- Or we can- - Have snacks in your pocket? - Oh my god, your hands just touched. - Thanks for saving me. - Of course. - Yeah. I'm still like bleeding a lot, but I'm sure this orange will help. - Oh Jess, you're running late
to a concert that you were- That's why you fell, 'cause you were rushing to make a concert. - Do you hear that? - And you have an extra ticket? It's your favorite artist too? Maybe talk about that or something. - I actually was rushing to catch my favorite artist playing. - That's crazy. 'cause I
was walking away from it 'cause I didn't have a ticket. - Who's the artist? Who's your favorite artist? Maybe you guys have that
in common or something. Don't lie, also. - Ashnikko. - Ashnikko. - You don't know who that is? - I can't wait to hear Ashnikko. - Who's your favorite artist? - I love Odesza. - Okay.
- Yeah, Odesza- - Sick.
- Yeah, they're fun. You get the dance. I saw 'em two weeks ago.
- Do you dance? - Yes. - Since I'm injured and can't move, - Yeah. - Will you show me your best dance move? - No, don't do this to me. - Do you want the date or not, Horacio? - Okay. - Shake it. - Can you sing for me then? (Jess beatboxing) - And a little bit of. - Okay. - That was very vulnerable of you. - Get it, get it.
- Thank you. - Yeah. - Wait Horacio, why are you even in town? What do you do for work? - I am a photographer, so I was going to shoot
Ashnikko, my favorite artist. - Oh. - Don't lie, you don't know her. - I don't know her. And the press pass wasn't,
it was the wrong concert. - Oh yeah, there's a lot
of venues around here. - There is, they all look the same. - All right, wrap it up. Go to the concert or
whatever, figure it out. - Should we hobble to the concert? - We can hobble. - Okay.
- You can walk. Don't-
- I can't. I'm so hurt. - She's been healed. - Oh, it's a miracle! - Jess, you're at Starbucks and you just picked up a drink, but it was, wait, it says Forrest on it. You're not Forrest. Who's Forrest? How did that happen? And then you talk or whatever. I don't. And action. - Ooh, a drink. Why does this say Forrest? - Oh, I think that one's mine. - Your name is Forrest? - Yeah, what's your name? - Jess. Your name's a lot cooler. - Nice to meet you. - Here's your drink. - Thank you. What you'd get? - Oh, you have my drink. - Oh yeah, I have your drink. It's a venti, vanilla something. - Nailed it. - Yeah, I was feeling spicy today. - It's funny you mentioned
that you're feeling spicy. I think Forrest does spicy work for work. Maybe talk about that. - What's so spicy about you? - I do like modeling for adults. - Come on. - That involves nude things. - Okay.
- Yeah. - Like what? - You know. - What do you mean? - You know, the usual, you know. - Wait, what's your handle? - Well, yeah, I mean you
could follow me on Twitter if you want. I could get my phone. Can you hold one of the coffee though? - We just met and you want
me to look at your balls? - No, no, no. You can get my number
and then we can like- - And then go look at your wiener? - He's trying to be open, Jess. Be accepting. - Okay, I'm accepting. - Okay. - I would love to look at that. - Actually, I don't have my phone. Maybe- - I don't have my phone. - Oh, well it's really easy to remember. It's Jack off Harlow. - Do you do the jacking or
does someone else do it? - I do it, yeah. - Okay. Like from the comfort of your own home? - Mm hmm.
- That's nice. - Yeah.
- Make your own hours. - Yep, hard all day. - Yeah.
- Just kidding. - Hard work. Hard work all day.
- Hard work all day. - It's hard work. So have you ever seen the
movie The Dark Crystal? - No. What's that about? - I mean this in the nicest way, but you remind me of one of the Gelflings, and it's really cute. - I need to see a picture. - Wait, is this the picture? - Is this a bad thing? - No, it's great.
- Okay. - No, everybody loves him. - It's a really good movie.
- No way. - Yeah.
- What is it? Is it the ears? - The cute nose and the ears
and the eyes, and the hair. And your name is Forrest and you probably like foresty things. - I do like nature. - Yeah.
- Yeah. I like being outside. - Jim Henson classic.
- This is crazy. Oh wait, look, I found my phone. You could put your number in and then maybe we could go
get more coffee sometime. Oh yeah, I've seen you before. Aren't you an actress? - Yeah. - Oh, that's dope. - He was already following me. - Alright, wrap it up here. - I'll catch you later sometime. It was good meeting you. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. - Well gentlemen, we've
laughed and we've cried, but there can only be one. With me here, I have two envelopes. The first one is my choice. I'm gonna give it to Jess and then she's gonna show me her choice that she picked at the very beginning. And with me here, I have a $100
gift card to Buca di Beppo. They asked me what my favorite food was, I said chicken parm. They wanted me to say this
is my favorite restaurant. I don't know if I would go that far. - Don't lie. - So she's gonna mull these two options and after that, she's
gonna choose which person she wants to give this gift card to. All right, Jess. There is my choice. I chose this person because after the last interview, I thought you guys had good chemistry and I was getting some good vibes. - Not a bad choice. - Alright, I guess I'll look at yours. - It was based off of like
physical first impression. I don't know if it is
the right choice for me because I came to the
expert, so I'm mulling it. - Okay, well Jess, you've
seen your two options. Here's the gift card. It is up to you to decide if
you want to pick your choice or my choice. Go at it. - You're all really, really good looking. You're all very cool. I am going to go with Nuts Choice. So I'm bad at dating. I came to the expert to help. - I'm really good at it. - But I also just think
it's really, really funny that his name is Nut and you nut on the- (group laughing) And I just think it's really funny and I feel like I have
to commit to the bit. Would you like to go to a
nut's favorite restaurant Buca di Beppo with me? - I love Buca di Beppo. - It's not my favorite restaurant. - Yeah.
- Okay. (group applauding) - All right, yeah. My choice was Forrest and Jess's choice was Joseph. And I guess I will say
if this doesn't work out, you know where to find her. The internet, I guess. (group laughing) I mean, I don't- - I'll tell you where she lives. - I don't know that. Now it's time for post nut clarity. What did you guys learn today? - There's so many good looking men around. I don't know where you guys
are all hanging out or hiding, but it's awesome. - My place. Or wait, no, that- What did I learn today? I should maybe be a little more charismatic in conversations. - [Joseph] You're the most charismatic. What are you talking about? - Joseph. Million dollar question. Are you going to take her on a date? You could also just, a hundred bucks- - You could run away right now. - It's up to you. - Let's go eat. - Okay.
- Yeah. - This was Love Versus Nut.
