Nothing Sacred (1937) CAROLE LOMBARD

[Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign so so [Music] foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you [Music] ladies and gentlemen when the morning star summoned you to this banquet i realized that there were only two people qualified to introduce the great man we are honoring tonight either my humble self or that pearl among journalists mr wallace cook my great friend and star reporter i want mr cook himself to tell you the great feat he performed not only for the morning star but for mankind itself in interesting our guest of honor in this great project [Applause] 27 halls of learning and culture 27 arenas of art to be known as the morning star temple and for every dollar we contribute our guest has pledged himself to give ten ladies and gentlemen it is my great honor to introduce to you a prince with a heart as big as his pocketbook that fabulous and magnificent potentate of the orient the sultan of mazupan [Applause] peace be unto you my friends peace and the blessings of culture that's him that's my husband so well my fine oriental potentate i'm not going to have you arrested i'm going to put you on the payroll as a janitor thank you sir and i always want you present in the local room where my reporters and mr wallace cook can drink you in constantly as a warning against fakes yes sir may i ask hey mr cook a reporter anymore i wouldn't like for him to lose his job he was very nice to me mr cook is not going to be discharged your majesty for his own good and the good of the morning star i am going to remove him from the land of the living [Applause] [Applause] [Music] yes listen i tell you i'm innocent i was just as fooled by old black joe as you were i believed everything he said just as you did now oliver either you cut out these fat-headed monkey shines of yours and let bygones be bygones or i'm walking out of this fish strap right here and now you're under contract to the star for five more years you're not in a position to resign unless you wish to retire from journalistic efforts over that period oliver you're not gonna keep me pounding out obituaries for five years those are my plans mr cook that's gratitude and the best reporter you ever had i've handed you a hundred scoops it isn't fair oliver it isn't human shut up oliver right here i don't like to say this paper is going to rock and ruin with me hidden away in that water cooler look at this what's that poor little working girl doomed to death from radium poisoning we've covered it covered it you're getting old oliver look there's one two three four five six lines on hazel flag a poor little kid with a few months to live at the outside doomed death staring her in the face what does she feel what does she think radium eating away her bones don't shout at me listen oliver there's a story in this kid that ought to tear your heart out why is it why hasn't the star got it i'll tell you because i'm stuck away in a water cooler on account of some whim of yours listen oliver give me a chance will you so help me may i drop dead i'll redeem myself i ought to be shocked for what i'm thinking what are you thinking i'm thinking that maybe you ain't the most tittering imbecile on earth i'm thinking that maybe you've learned your lesson oliver so help me i'll be up a month by morning i'll dig up a story that'll make this town swoon here's my hand on it i've been through an infernal i haven't been able to enter a cafe for the past three weeks without the band playing dixie well that was a coincidence i've given you my hand go on redeem yourself thanks you won't regret it if i don't come back with the biggest story you ever handled you can put me back in short pants and make me marble out of this [Applause] [Applause] you throw yep you know this girl hazel play yep pretty girl right yep or is she not in the hospital nope just walking around laughing carrying on i suppose yep what's your name coolidge no well if you aren't worn out talking what is it bulls mr all my name's cook i'm from new york star i uh going to be filing a lot of stuff at your telegraph office here i don't think you are but who says peregrine west factory owns this town they don't care to have any scandal printed or if they say goes better take the next train back kind of a fellas is dr donna he won't talk to you nobody talked in this town except me better go home well if you don't mind i'll uh take a little stroll and have a look at the sights first well i wouldn't talk to tall if i knew was gonna do it for nothing oh pardon me i forgot i was in vermont morning sister you in charge here yep i've been wandering through your fascinating metropolis for an hour mind if i sit down here yep i guess you misunderstood me nope you know hazel flag yep any idea where i could find her this morning you're a newspaper man from new york how'd you guess that sister you was described to me will bull can shoot his mouth after all he wants but not mean or anybody else in this town this drugstore is run by the peregrine watch company and they don't want any scandal among the new yorkers snooping around okay sister how much do i owe you well you've taken up my time thank you very much i'm sorry that i've tooken up so much of your time sorry oh hey oh good morning dr downer yep is that his office yep would you tell him mr cook would like to see him tell him yourself [Applause] dr donna yep my name's cook i'm up here from new york sit down i'll be with you in a minute nice day yep yep what do you got young man hi no no hive a lot of hives going around miss george and asher was took yesterday you know her nope where did you say you were from new york i was wondering if you could tell me where i could find hazel flag from new york eh yup you know what i think young fella i think you're a newspaperman i can smell him i've always been able to smell him excuse me while i open the window i'll tell you briefly what i think of newspapermen the hand of god reaching down into the mire couldn't elevate one of them to the depths of degradation not by a million miles i think you're being a little severe toward my profession not much but just a little nothing of the sort i am a fair-minded man young fella but when you've been robbed swindle cheated for 22 years out of a fortune it's pardonable to formulate an opinion from new yorker yep you don't happen to know of a newspaper called the morning star you have the honor dr donner of addressing that newspaper's most gifted representative moses in the mountains you're from the morning star stay right where you are don't move i'll show you something that'll freeze you listen doctor i'm getting sick of this taffy pull where can i get hold of hazel flag don't talk to me about hazel flag no siree here's the evidence i appeal to you as a man of learning dr donna what is miss flag's address don't waste my time young fella here read that that's a copy of an essie i wrote read it go on tit for tat give me her address and i'll pour over these interesting documents all night i entered this contest with the clean pair of hands who are the six greatest americans i named them and proved why writing on one side of the paper and what happened did i win the ten thousand dollars no siree did i win the five thousand did they even try to save their face by giving me one of the smaller one thousand dollar prizes not that gang of chicken thieves here's what they gave me read it a check for one dollar young fella for 22 years i must ask you dr donna to be reasonable you can't harbor a grudge for 22 years i'll harbor it till i die wait and see the morning star had a chance to win my respect 22 years ago they saw fit to swindle and belittle me very well i'll prove to them before i die who the sixth great americans are and who was entitled to the first prize i could do better in darkest africa you know who got that ten thousand dollars the editor's wife good morning you don't have to sit there looking so dramatic hazel like eliza crossing the ice well i can't help feeling a little bad you couldn't either if you were gonna die any minute well you can stop giving yourself the heirs of a dying swan according to this last analysis i made you ain't going to die unless you get run over or something what you heard me i don't like to chew my cabbage twice you [ __ ] i i'm not going to die you're fitter than the fiddle and stop gawking at me or i'll cut myself oh oh i've got the cryonic i can't help come come come this is no way to behave in a doctor's office besides that soap will give you the darndest bellyache he ever had oh you think you saved my life oh it was nothing that first diagnosis i made was a mistake i got so that i was seeing radium poisoning everywhere i've been awfully brave haven't i not to cry before please uh well now that it's over i don't mind telling you hazel i felt kind of sorry for you sorry i've been under a great strain [Music] you know i don't know what i'm so happy about any kid you sort of spoil my trip what trip's that hazel you know i was gonna take that 200 you get for dining warsaw and go to new york and blow it all in and die happy and now i've got to stay in warsaw so that's your gratitude to me for snatching you from the jaws of death you know i don't know which i am happy or miserable i'm i'm all mixed up listen do you have to hand in that report to the factory i know it sounds a little dishonest i'd do it like a shot hazel only i'd lose my job the minute they found out you weren't going to die and besides there's the ethics well well thanks for all your trouble i'm terribly gratefully literally it's kind of startling to be brought alive twice and each time in warsaw this flag pardon me i'm wallace cook i'm a new york star i came up to see you i know it's hard for you to talk but if you just listen to me for a little while nothing to say no it's sort of too late i know how you feel miss flag but i won't ask you any questions about your ailment i was just going to see doctor and he told me no please don't die i was thinking while i was waiting for you to come out and i got an idea i want you to come new york with me what as my guest was the guest of the morning stone i don't say anything till i tell you oh i'm not saying anything if you were my sister or somebody close to me i'd take you out of warsaw deader aliveness flank oh i've always wanted to see the world outside tragedy you've lived here all your life twice that long you're a poor kid you've never been in new york no my grandmother took me there when i was three but i didn't appreciate it listen we'll show you the time we'll take you everywhere you'll have more fun than if you lived a hundred years in this moth eaten yep and very true is it a bargain i don't know it would be imposing on everybody because i'm posing in what way i just thought it'd be wrong to make people sad kind of a killjoy wouldn't i listen i'll be frankly even if i sound like a ghoul you'll be a sensation the whole town will take you to its heart you'll have everything you've ever dreamed of and you'll have it on a silver platter you'll be like aladdin with the magic lamp to rub you mean they like me just because i'm dying oh that's a cruel way to put it no they'll like you because you'll be a symbol of courage and heroism we'll talk about it on the plane an airplane you mean we're gonna fly there sure sure we have much time i'm sorry i mean the sooner you get there the more time you'll have to enjoy yourself you know i was gonna go there before i saved up a hundred dollars and a hundred million dollars couldn't buy all the fun the morning star can give you come on oh no wait i've got to take him with me with the kid on the bicycle oh no no enoch dr donner you wait here uh oh you walk away with me nope well i'll go ask him will you wait here yep [Music] look i don't care for scenery from this point of view but that's the statue of liberty i've seen it i got in touch with oliver for oliver stone my editing he's toe dancing in the street waiting for us oh i hope he's nice like you well he's got a different quality of charm he's sort of a cross between a ferris wheel and a werewolf but with a lovable streak if you cared a blast for it you getting nervous oh no no i just hope you won't have a lot of long whiskered doctors lined up to harass me you know i'm not coming to new york to play guinea pig for a lot of scientists everybody knows that radium poisoning is incurable so so why waste any time in that drink don't you worry about that you won't be bothered at all you know i'm not going to bed until i have convulsions and my teeth start falling out that's when i begin worrying is it it's as good a time as any how you feeling now sailor hunky dory skipper well there she is in all her beads and ribbons mr cook yeah oh thank you oh it's from oliver he's almost tongue-tied with excitement he's worked up a nutty demonstration new york is going to lay its heart at your feet while the whistle's blown the bands play and the cameras grind how about you sailor anything you care to say as we go into action oh i'm going to have a marvelous time whatever happens afterwards i mean about the convulsions and all that i'm gonna have fun first i am i am well if that doesn't make him cry nothing will cry why should they cry because you're the bravest kid that ever lived there's no fake about it this time oh look [Music] so [Applause] don't excite yourself too much it's just a fake what did you say i said don't excite yourself too much it's just a fake paw who's the thing those grapplers the only square thing about them is the ring for them they're a symbol of the whole town pretending to fight love weep and laugh all the time and their phonies all of them and i had the list oh no you don't don't say that using you to get a bonus in the byline on the front page making good over your poor little pain wrecked body you know i'm worse than those play questions perhaps you'll find tonight while you're in the morning i've been so wonderful to me you know these wonderful gowns and the banquets and the theater tickets stop looking so happy and gallant will you breaks my heart [Music] [Applause] you all right oh yes i feel fine ladies and gentlemen i have just learned that miss hazel flag is in the audience i would like to ask this distinguished audience to observe 10 seconds of silence in respect for miss fletch [Music] okay boys [Applause] would it interfere with you running the fleet if i asked you something personal that's what we're here for to get personal proceed there's a loose halyard forward go make it fast yes my little mariner yes try not to go overboard i asked several people that they didn't know i didn't know what if if you were married the answer in capital letters is no n-o oh i see i don't suppose newspaper men marry is a rule not after they're 14-15 that's the dangerous age for the journalist his ideals are not yet formed when he falls easy prey to elderly waitresses once his finer side is born he waits the sound of the fire alarm ms flag waits to go rushing off to the fire how far is that i used to hear about that in warsaw yeah it's gotten around so you're having fun yes but you know i get kind of depressed you know last night when i entered the theater everybody moaned you know i might as well be a case of walking cholera don't do that [Music] i used to love new york when i went gaga over some celebrity danced in the streets with a neon light round its heart getting fed up with its trick tears and phony lamentations over you i'm glad that pony it makes everything all right in a way what i mean is i wouldn't want to feel i was really making all those people suffer [Music] wally wally look at that man with a [Applause] toupee [Music] greetings greetings my little folks tonight there is one among us who adds a bit of unaccustomed drama to our little rebel she sits here eyes sparkling her face wreathed in a lovely smile drinking in the charm the glitter the gay sounds of life so drink your wine laugh and applaud while this little doom child sits saying goodbye to you her last goodbye with a grateful smile on her lips so on with the show my little actors all on with the show for tonight you are not the famous folk of broadway tonight you are just a little chorus laughing and dancing and pirouetting to afford the last brief hour of mirth and joliday to america's simplest and sweetest of heroines miss hazel flag for good clean fun is nothing like awake oh please please let's not talk sharp our next number tonight ladies and gentlemen is entitled the heroines of history [Music] [Applause] catherine the great who saved russia she could do it too [Music] lady good diver who saved her virtue that's the way those things go [Music] who saved holland by putting her finger in the dike show them the finger babe [Applause] pocahontas who saved captain john smith and later on set him up in the cough top [Music] business [Music] now listen gentlemen i want you to meet that little girl from warsaw vermont that little soldier whose heroic smile in the face of death has rung tears and cheers from the great stone heart of the city i humbly invite her now to take her place beside all the great heroines of history our own miss hazel flag [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] foreign [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] look something has happened to jesus speak to me look out young let me is it has it come doctor i want to know the worst i don't want you to spare our feelings we go to press in 15 minutes a chance doctor i've been expecting something like this let's get her out of here quick please everybody take your seats a quiet please take your seats there must be no commotion the show must go on hazel would want it that way i'm disgusted with you hazel getting drunk in the middle of a memorial now lie down like i tell you i'm not drunk i just had a little sip or so and then then all those buffaloes ran over me they weren't buffalos they were horses i might have been trampled in death don't yell i tell you if somebody respectable could see you now that would be pretty wouldn't it shame on you take your stockings off yeah the doctor take them off yourself [Music] hi what are you doing [Music] if anything happens we'll have to replate that's all that counts to you isn't it your bird brain with a headline for our heart that poor gallant little kid standing in front of that goofy bunch of horses and smiling just smiling don't waste copy on me wallace oliver has the sweetest loveliest kid in there that ever lived yes you said that before wally i'm through i can't play paul bearer any longer i'm resigning she's all right gentlemen sleeping like a little baby no are you sure just as if nothing had happened she'll be fitter than a fiddle in the morning three o'clock in the morning [Music] my opened hello i don't want to talk to anybody just a minute there are 20 little school children downstairs to sing for you mr stone arranged for it yesterday oh it's horrible i go man send them up you may bring them upset oh my gosh there's a sawmill inside my head can we leave the room mr rafferty i brought you something raw eggs just what you need the albumen counteracts the alcohol suck them right down settle your stomach go on i got a whole dozen is this the way drunks feel hazel you've got what is known in medicine as a hangover got something worse than that i've got a conscience oh keep on sucking that egg and your conscience will go away ruining him let me have your pulse hazel ah don't jiggle me my puzzle's all right i'm as healthy as a knife oh well stop groaning then you old fraud you know what i'm grooling about oh i wish i wish i had radium poisoning or something awful and then but i wouldn't ruin him who's this you're ruining hazel wallace mr cook oh him have another egg enoch listen he thinks i've helped him become a great journalist and they're gonna give him a bonus mister mr stone is a bonus it's coming out of the ten thousand dollars they owe me if i'm not complaining why should he worry he thinks that helped helped him and it makes him feel better i can't stand it you know what'll happen when they find out i'm a horrible good for nothing page they'll blame him everybody they'll just burn down the newspaper and the mayor he'll have wally lynch you just wait and see oh enoch why did you let me come to new york you were only as honest as you looked mr cook is here to see mrs flagg do you feel able to speak to him boys tell him to come in come in hello hello hello doctor it uh it won't hurt her if i visit a while she's doing very well for her last few weeks see i'm glad to hear that hazel i was uh we were worried excuse me i wouldn't have disturbed you but uh i'm going away and i thought i might not see you again you're going away where oh this to albany what fool just to see the governor wallace what are you doing in albany with the governor well he isn't he mustn't get over a rock what if it's about me i must know about it it's uh about the arrangements hazel what arrangements for the funeral what funeral yours all right have i shocked you oh no oh no everybody has to have a funeral sometime no but not like yours darling gee i meant to keep it as a surprise oh it's better this way you're telling me in advance so i can get used to it oh i hope it's going to be a little funeral oh i'm afraid that's way way impossible hazel according to the present registration there'll be about 30 000 automobiles and a considerable group on foot about half a million i think oh why well that's not half enough to mourn for you oliver thought we could get the president but uh he's still fishing i arranged to have the symphony orchestra there instead well if it's all arranged why are you going to open it well uh i had an idea this morning i'm getting the uh governor to declare a public holiday for the uh occasion oh like saint valentine's day i'm glad i told you hazel i want you to know now and always i think you're magnificent oh please please don't say that do you have to go away well i'll be back by night i've got another surprise for you but i'll not tell you now oh i've got to hear it well i i promised you i wouldn't do this you wouldn't do what call in any other doctor hazel i know you have great faith in enoch but i've broken my promise dr amel egelhofer is arriving on the wrecks this afternoon he's from vienna and i'm bringing him up to see you what for hazel he is the greatest expert on radium poisoning in the world i know it's incurable but when i heard he was on the wrecks i radioed him there's there's always an outside chance you know just one in a million do i'm sorry i i've got to run to get the 10 o'clock plane i i know it's a long shot but we can hope goodbye goodbye the little children are here hazel what little children they've come to scene for you nick this is the end don't ask any questions just listen to me we're caught dr eagle hoof is coming here tonight to to expose me and wally you've got nothing to fear from any doctor who comes snooping around here better have another egg there's only one way out there's only one way to save you and me and wolly i've got to commit suicide in advance before that scientist gets to me i've got to be drowned oh suck this egg oh shut up i'll leave a note to the city thanking everybody you you get rid of the nurse of the evening and then i'll jump into the river somebody's bound to see me jump in and you'll be waiting in a row boat to fish me out and i'll swim underwater and i'll change my name and hide away for the rest of my life and never never see him again oh they'll hold the funeral without me [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] she's riding waves of glory towards that the flag [Applause] hello honey this is ernest honey what kind of flowers do you like huh don't worry honey they all the same price i'm getting them wholesale be right up honey like [Music] hello get me the morning stop quick who committed suicide read it to me dear new york city goodbye remember me as someone you made very happy i have enjoyed everything there's only one thing left to enjoy your river that smiles outside of my window it is easy to die when the heart is full of gratitude hazel flag hello oliver oh we got our holiday the governor has agreed to allow that jumping age sebastian she's double crossed her squad this flag she's gone over to some other paper she's gone into the river listen you weasel brain what are you trying to tell me hazel flag has committed suicide i don't believe it ernest your sultan found her suicide note he saw her leave the hotel five minutes ago give me the mayor at once get the governor tell him we want that holiday tomorrow you're a fine pair of gravediggers you and the governor both hello hello mayor says wallace cook of the star calling [Music] um [Music] one [Music] what [Music] what are you trying to do [Applause] but i can't swim whoa look at this it's a fine sweet trick you tried to play well why didn't you stay in albany jumping off up here like some hop happen i didn't jump i was pushed carrying everybody out of their witch listen to you give me your word of honor you won't try that again or i'll spank you a little wallace don't you think you ought to notify him that you've located me you know it seems unfair to have them dragging the river oh the fresh air will do them good come on i want to talk to you [Music] this is good of places honey get in oh it's softly cozy isn't it are you still mad at me i'm mad at myself drooling away to you about the funeral that's what drove you to it well to be really frank with you wallace it wasn't that at all oh darling i'd love to sit in here with you for the rest of my life will you marry me what if you heard me will you marry me come on answer me but darling there's no future in it i don't talk like a halfway i don't care about the future oh well if things were normal i'd i mustn't don't ask me please just kiss me once more and let it go with that without without ruining your life so what the devil is the better the life than we've got a handful of perfect dollars that that's all the luckiest ever get out of it just a handful of hours to save and remember and then i'll be there at the end sailor i'll be there waving you goodbye and it'll be the same as if you and i lived forever and you'll grow all in my heart you seen anything of a young lady but jumped in the river she's right here all right him get the bull motor never mind the poor mortar oh her breathing's fine drive us to her hotel sure jumping oh thank you you're american thank you you're american uh you're welcome now looks as if i finally get my right on a fire engine yeah okay um gotta go go down and bat out the story oliver's having a catfish you know i've been misjudging him when i told him you were safe and soundy he choked up and he couldn't talk for a minute oh yes he's very sweet yeah hello i'll see you in the morning have a good sleep good night yes oh it's a big fire oh if you ever hate me remember this and this and this this the biggest fire since rome well well well hello easel come in i was wondering whatever become of you [Music] enoch who is that man oh he's just a stranger from europe drop in for a little chat we've been discussing medicine pro and con excuse me i wanted to shoot a hazel flag mr uh what did you say your name was dr emil egelhofer dr offline seems to me i've heard of you somewhere doctor now i received the radio on the ship from the morningstar miss flag which excited my professional as well as humane interests and i called on you at once ah that must be my colleagues ladies and gentlemen this is the young lady miss hazel flair dr oswalt funch of prague dr felix chowski of moscow dr friedrich kirschenweisser of berlin all of the [ __ ] and weeping [Music] there is no vestige no trace no single symptom enough radium poisoning in this young woman mr stone we had some trouble with that horse doctor from vermont but we took the x-rays regardless are you sure you examined the right woman and not some some imposter oh the only imposter in this case mr stone is this young woman we examined the young woman who is known as hazel flag here's a full report of this examination here's the x-ray pictures showing the entire skeleton of this young woman known as hazel flag and here mr stone is my bill uh our bill and i will assure you not me or my colleagues will say one single vote of this to the newspaper goodbye you have nothing more to worry about mr stone your troubles are over send me a force from the circulation department got a bullet in the new league for you on hazel flag that's going to read that sour puss of yours into a noah's gay of smiles so sit tight and tuck in your ears miss flag is getting married tonight and wish me luck old weasel brain i listen i know it sounds hysterical marrying somebody with a few weeks to live like honeymooning with a hearse at the front door but oliver it's on the square what's the matter with you listen i want you to be best man up you stewed or something i came in for congratulations what's up what's eating you i am sitting here mr cook trying to figure some way out of the blackest disaster that has ever struck down an innocent man since the days of judas is carried what are you mumbling about what disaster i am sitting here mr cook toying with the idea of removing your heart and stuffing it like an olive hang on oliver you're going screwy i'll get watson you ruined me you ruined the morning star you blackened forever the fair name of journalism you and that foul botch of nature hazel flag you got some excuse for those words alright let's have a quick excuse excuse look at that look at that skeleton not a bowl missing down to the last healthy vertebrae intact read that rub your nose in it that's hazel flag the biggest fake of the century a lying faking witch with the soul of an eel and the brain of a tarantula she hasn't got anything wrong with her at all sweet heaven i can't believe it it's like some miracle get to the waldorf hotel as quick as you can grab hazel flag and bring her to this office if you have to drag her through the street for the hair so help me oliver if you hurt that kid i'll knock you cold i'll bring you you stay here and watch that maniac watch every move he makes i want hazel flag in this office within half an hour you're staying here you're not gonna hurt her shut up i'm marrying her get that under that monkey skull of yours i don't care how we've been taken on what she's done i'm in love with oh that's a beautiful thought and i thank god on my knees that she's a fraud and a fake and isn't going to die you're on your knees thanking god are you when the whole town's getting ready to laugh at us a house that'll be heard around the world let him laugh i'll do my own laughing back it'll be worse than the french revolution i hope i'm here when it breaks i want to make one speech to our dear readers before they carry our heads off on a pike i want to tell them we've been their benefactors we gave them a chance to pretend that their phony hearts were dripping with the milk of human kindness what's your name me max i want quiet in this office match quiet so i can think the hazel flags are fraud eh so when you start yelling fall remember she was just a circulation stunt for you you used it like you've used every broken heart that's fallen into your knapsack to inflame the daffy public and help sell your papers that's enough about selling papers before i finish with that female dracula she'll know one thing that oliver stone is worse than radium poisoning four ways from the jack [Music] hello hello who mo mo who who's mo levinsky that's my brother you solve it to get that girl remember oh moe listen what what's that well what are you stalling for get her back here to the office as i ordered get the mush out of your mouth man and speak up he's a dumb collect mr stone you better let me talk to him you'll just get him excited then he's gone hello mo this is max what's on your mind uh-huh uh-huh that's a shame what is it i'm getting it go on mo and take it easy uh-huh uh-huh yeah don't say look moe hold away willow i'll take it up with mr stone well he wants to know where he can get a doctor this girl is sick who sick this girl has a flag it's a lie listen max ask him what she's sick with he told me he said it's something like the dts only the dope can't pronounce it was the nurse there just a minute hello hello moe this is max your brother max he's getting rattled now don't fly off the hammer moe all i want to know is the noise there no not a noise the noise like a tootsie that's right uh-huh uh-huh give me that phone i'm getting give me that phone i tell you here's the noise miss rafferty oliver stone pneumonia it's a lie i tell you temperature of 106 dying go back and take her temperature again i don't trust that girl until i get a doctor no not dr downer tell him oh to throw that vermont quack out of the room the minute he shows his face get me mo pneumonia it's the finger of god if it's true listen moe don't let anybody leave that room until i get there dead or alive nobody leaves that room get me it's like a pardon from the gallows but i'm trusting nobody this time i'm taking no chances hello hello get me dr amel egelhofer of vienna wherever he is well try all the hotels listen oliver i'm going over there and if you try to stop me so help me i'll get you if it takes all my life nobody is going to stop you now if that little girl is sick your place is by her side yes dr amal egelhofer of vienna well try the medical center try schulzer's beer garden no i don't want to see the man take the man away from me i want wallace wallace where are you cut out the shenanigans william we haven't got any time to lose well well i'm on fire shut up for a minute and listen to me egglehopper's going to be here in 10 or 15 minutes eaglehopper dr amal egelhofer of vienna i knew you were faking the minute they were going to arrest me i couldn't get away you know i put the thermometer under the hot water and it would fit oh what do you hate me i knew you'd hate me i told you i told you let's not go into that now oh i look for you you'll expose me again to this keep your head and listen to me oh you hate me now shut up where's the hot water as if i didn't know have we got two thermometers three i've got three you're enough you'll never forgive me for what i've done to you oh wally i wanna die honest i don't wanna live another minute it's been a lot of fun playing me for the world's prize chump where's the other thermometer wallace cook king of the boobs the only genuine horse's neck on the market i didn't mean it really i didn't all right shut up and listen to the greatest sucker in christendom and listen hard eaglehopper is coming for this gang what gang well he's got a wagon load of scientists with him with you know microscopes and searchlight oh i'm sunk i give up get out of bed no no let them arrest me and put me in prison you won't hate me so much if i'm behind bars listen my dying swan this is no time to stop veggies you're gonna have pneumonia and you're gonna have it good well you want me to stand in front of a window and catch cold oh that would take too long you've got to raise your pulse to 160 quick we've got to have your gasping padding and covered with a cold sweat inside of five minutes oh i don't fight fight come on come on delilah up with your jukes no i can't i'm sick of faking in line take that ice pack off your head and fight no no what's the use why fool them any longer because i love you because i'm going to marry you when i don't want to spend my honeymoon hanging around sing sing blowing kisses to you in the exercise yard come on stop dogging it you got to be bathed in perspiration come on get going you little crook who's a croc you and your [ __ ] newspaper hey what's up baby come on keep moving snake brains come on i'll kill you bragging at me like i ride like i was the price pig with a blue river oh blue ribbons on you baby just a big yellow sign marked fake i'm i'm a faker i'm a fake what are you in that phony santa claus oliver stone slobbering and drooling over me that's where the herons of history and that's for your aunt married come on keep moving my little you as long as i live i won't i just hate you i just hate you oh i hate you you're gonna have plenty of reason to hate me i'm gonna show you cards and spades and lying for the next 50 years i'm gonna pay you back for every lie you're told i'm gonna flirt and lie and cheat and swindle right through to our golden wedding yeah yeah let me hit you just once all right come on that's it come on keep coming faster faster come on keep going faster faster i said keep swinging that's the girl that's it what's the matter come on oh i'm getting dizzy well that's fine that's fine now listen to me and listen carefully when you come to i want you to remember what i'm saying what do you mean come true i mean when you regain consciousness i want you to switch thermometers put the hot one in your mouth you get me yeah yeah let me suck you just once just once on the jaw and i don't care what happens come on whoa i just heard the elevator door they call me don't forget about the thermometer yeah yeah all right say goodnight to papa now well what are you gonna do uh you put up a nice fight wally you mean to say you saw the whole thing from the beginning mr cook you mean to say you stood there and let me beat up a defenseless woman i did mr cook where's your sense of chivalry my chivalry aren't you just a trifle confused mr cook you hit her that's entirely different i love her water water i'm afraid hot you can cool off now hazel the jig is up what the jig is up you mean to say that whole thing was for nothing i'm sorry you thought you could put one over on oliver stoney well i guess i still know a fake one let's keep out of this wally yes dear oh wally why i didn't mean to do it i didn't mean to do it i love you i love you this flag i wonder if you are aware of the traditions of a great newspaper do you realize what it means to those who carry aloft the torch of journalism from the highest editor to the lowest office boy the lifeblood of a newspaper miss flag is its integrity am i right wally word for word i wrote that speech for you 10 years ago at the cleveland convention you remember both talk all you want i've made up my mind you're what i'm through what do you mean you're through i'm gonna confess i'm going back to warsaw they love me there they don't hit me on the jaw and push me in rivers but you can't confess do you realize that out there are some of the most important citizens of this town all of those people are out there by special invitation from the morning star and why to pass on to the people of new york to the people of the world your last words for instance ah this is no time for sarcasm wally you got me into this you get me out use your brain mine's stunned where's dr downer where's that weasel-hearted medical he's been on a toot we could use him we could throw him to the wolves just when we need him he isn't here i got an idea we can bury it like they do in india you know like the yogis we can stick a tube down for it to breathe through and dig her up in the morning with no harm done i never had anything i wanted a trip to new york and i got it and what's more you in new york can go fly mr stone is this true yes this is terrible terrible i endorse this thing i sponsored this girl i gave her the key to the city and just as an election was coming up here's your key i won't be needing it anymore miss fly i represent 100 000 young matrons we've switched the whole study course from the menace of communism to the inspiration of hazel flag miss flag the girlfriends of the forest have just organized a hazel flag unit with me as chief ranger already we have 4 000 members if you persist in flaunting your recovery in this flagrant manner the trees of america will be without girlfriends ladies and gentlemen the morning star keeps faith with its readers this thing must not get out oh let me alone i wish i really could die go someplace by myself and die alone like an elephant [Music] um [Music] happy mr cook ecstatic mrs cook [Music] i know what you're going to say you think i'm hazel flight well i'm getting sick and tired of people mistaking me for that fake fake young woman how dare you speak of hazel flag as a fake how dare you slur the memory of one of the most gallant girls that ever lived despite you and your kind the world will never forget hazel flag that's what i'm afraid of don't worry baby two months from now they won't know who hazel flag was they'll find another elephant darling you're forgetting that everybody in new york knew me and loved me loved me for my courage my brave smile in the face of well after all i was a pretty important person just a flash in the pan of manhattan and they were beginning to get pretty impatient at the way you were dragging this thing out that's a lie and you know it why right now millions of people are crying just thinking about me why don't you get wise to yourself hazel you were just another freak like the bearded lady uh jojo the dog face take that back off uh uh ready for your life run for your life the hotel is flooded flooded you

Channel: PizzaFlix

Views: 340,108

Rating: 4.7089067 out of 5

Keywords: CLASSIC, FILM, drama, MOVIES, filmstruck, Movie, Charles Winninger, classic movies, Fredric March, #classicmovies, classic movie, FREE, Carole Lombard, Ben Hecht, Hedda Hopper

Id: tCAo24Zo310

Length: 73min 35sec (4415 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 26 2012