Norm Macdonald on John Cleese

it's still funny is Cleese oh my god it's terribly funny no okay not so much but boy - when I was on Cleese and Palin it was probably between dressing there they went to the museum also smarty anyway they did the parrot sketch in another sketch so I'm running down to see him you know you can see him live and dress you know I mean not dressing in rehearsal so I went down and they were there and I was running by a Sheri Oteri and I said my Python you know Cleese and Palin are gonna do the parrot sketch she goes is it good sketch actress that's your job you love me do [Music] yeah I think his people either didn't know it or they knew it so well it was like cool oh they're doing it I married Lauren introduced me to Michael Palin once and I felt I it was like the Bill Murray that's wrong I'm like everything I do is just like you're like I saw you seventh you know like what do you say and I was just like hi Michael Palin please don't applaud we're short on time thank you and I'm John Cleese what a giant et my ex-wives died you know that it was very sad because it was the wrong one [Applause] my god all right I feel you I hope that one's watch yeah yeah do you have real anger hatred towards your any of your ex-wives no no no I mean I'm quite happy if one or two of them were dead but I have nothing [Laughter] dead in the nicest boxes boxes and not slow agonizing deaths that are drawn out of American ears or anything like that no something quick like a tree falling on a rental car yeah I got a wife I just got a wife I just got married because I thought go through that charade keep appearances that oh yeah that's the thing you tell ya this were a Miss for a mem right if this were a memoir I would tell about my wife what a battle-axe battle-ax I mean no one's called their wife a battle-axe since nineteen for s five present come how do you feel about a woman she's supposed to be my life partner I look in the mirror the other day and I says to her I says honey I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat ugly old man and I need you to give me a compliment she says all right then your eyesight is damn near perfect I said you dirty dog we've fights constantly oh you do do you know and sometimes it bleeds over like we were driving a car we went past a bunch of animals there was a pig a cow I know I admit this is a little crew you're kind of mad at her at the times matter so I say he said pig cow you know horse remind you of any relatives she says yeah my in-laws I said you dirty Wow dirty dog again Wow night until I met my wife I always felt incomplete now I'm finished [Laughter] 19:35 radio show wanna take a break for justice you'll figure that my mother will be in a car and will be driving she'll go Ralph's just shows a reader words I'm building I'm 79 yeah you're 79 I don't look good do it no cuz my mother sent me night and she look so good maybe that's the way it is with ladies in them so then she now when she came back I I you know definitely didn't want to take her to this another you know that's my mom and everything and she's got oh you gotta go see a brother Broadway play then I go yeah yeah then you know the playoffs they're starting and everything you know but so I go okay well why don't we go to like a you know cats I hear that's a good thing you know so cake oh you know an interesting thing we were going to cats we're walking down the street and my mom stops in a donut shop she likes eating Donuts and she goes in to buy herself a cruller there and I stay outside so I said yeah go get yourself a cruller I waited that she comes out she goes out oh no oh my god you wouldn't believe it she says your friend David Letterman is in the donut shops at right and she thinks we're friends you know I guess I told her or your friends yeah we're sort of friends I told her her best friends well I like so so she says Lori's in there and I go mom man David Letterman's not the donut shop you know that makes sense and you know he's my best friend I would know if he was in a donut shop so she says no no no just go say hi to if you like to see you so I go into the donut shop and there's a dude sitting there he's not you yeah he's just some dude with like a late show t-shirt and I didn't he was even like a Mexican guy and so I said ah man that can't be David Letterman you know so I walk out and I say mom you know that that was him but he's busy you know he don't wanna be bothered I had a moment of inspiration and I'm telling you again and it was the high point of my creativity because she was you know she's probably out 92 and it's not very much fun being 92 I think because you know all the people at the home were dying around you like flies you know you're sort of chatting to someone and then you go up and get your custard and come back and he's dead sounds like you put her in a real nice way yeah it wasn't I wanna make this clear wasn't an old folks home it was an elderly person's residence good save there John so so she was I rang her up one day and she was quite seriously good really giving me all the reasons that she didn't want to go on living and you know I felt the helpless I thought okay and I had this moment of inspiration I said mum I have an idea what is that and I said look if you're still feeling this way next week I'll have a friend in Fulham and I could give him a call if you like but only if you like and he could come down and kill you I would see the smile of that rise a bit surprised for a few seconds and then she howled with laughter yeah you

Channel: I'm not Norm

Views: 520,054

Rating: 4.865602 out of 5

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Id: 9GrqyuBLso8

Length: 7min 56sec (476 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 25 2020