Norm Macdonald on Dennis Miller

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the anchors the Weekend Update on Saturday Night Live and he has recently quit the nasty habit of smoking Norm Macdonald norm [Applause] [Music] now you're a young iconoclast norm you know the kids they get you I was gonna wear a suit I like this old DB Cooper's look for you man this is now it see the guy jumped out in flame no no he's married Alice Cooper now for my first talk yeah you come in the room and you and Drake say they're had no lights on it was like some fucking Anton LaVey Satan cult in there and you guys used to turn out the sickest jokes ever and everybody was always smoking then I see you on Saturday Night Live during the opening credits and one of the things I like about you is you're completely unfiltered on that show you'll say anything and I saw in the picture you had a cigarette in your mouth I let this guy just doesn't give a shit so I asked you to come on I find out you pushed out on me and quit smoking what is that all about no because it's bad for you they have these fucking things on the side you have to read the fine print where it says it's bad when did you first start smoking I said smart as a kid like when I was like 14 and I thought I look really cool like if I start smoking Sanyo on anybody I started smoking wouldn't you know it I did look cool but ladies girls yeah it was hard oh man because I was always guilty about all the time I smoked sauce that you know that's that I always knew it was bad for me you know like even though some you know some guys old say it's good because their uncle lived long or somebody smoked you don't know hey what about you know that old guy you know burt mustin what about that guy you know and then he just kept he lived lying that doesn't mean anything right that's just one guy you can't just cause burt mustin live long you're all of a sudden you do you did your masters theses on this didn't it people bother you a lot when you smoke where people pissed off when yeah people don't like when you smoke you know they thereby they're like I gotta admit though secondhand smoke is bad like I don't like when I smoked I didn't like secondhand smoke alright that firsthand smoke is you get a sucker read a cigarette you know in the second-hand anything any fucking thing that's already been ingested by someone who's not good you know I strike like a pork sandwich is delicious but after a digested porks and [Applause] you can't fight that logic you cannot do you think advertising brings kids to smoking you know there's a lot of fight with the Joe Camel thing do you think they really yeah they got no the app definitely they got it because the thing is this the advertisers they got to go after kids because they're not going to get adults like there's not gonna be a fifty year old guy going hey I should start smoking goddamn camel yeah that's a frightening looking because he looks like a cock I know you don't mind first and Cox [Applause] does a buddy of mine work on Saturday Night Live and he said he was a fag once as a joke then he said everybody consumption saying you a fag game I'm gay man I mean show about smoking they thought you meant the British word for cigarette all right exactly can i bum a fag that's what they say anyway where else all right like Joe Camel looking like a cock dinner oh yeah I lost my train of thought thanks for bringing me back this is what I've noticed he look he doesn't even look like a fucking camel he looks so much like a cock because you know how it's usually subliminal yeah where you have to find the cock right this character you have to find the goddamn camera [Applause] [Music] yeah believe me when you only get two humps out of a cock it's not worth smoking all right line two we've got a phone call for you although I can't believe they'd still be on the line after this departure line - we've got Beverly from Middletown Ohio Beverly yeah hi Dennis hi norm all right you know my name I don't think yes I did i watch Saturday night do you like it yeah I liked it when Dennis was on you know why because you don't give a shit about Dennis you know what I read it's like the best thing you can do whenever I'd go on they go what's it like following Jovi and I like Jeffy it makes me laugh do I think about Chevy I'm trying to make a living here you know I mean when I see you I know you're thinking the same thing like screw Dennis I'm killing okay anyway all right what's your question okay since the nicotine is such an addictive drug do you think someday you'll have to have a prescription to buy a pack of cigarettes well you know they always bring up the Constitution and talk about how we should still have the right to a militia and all that let's face facts this country was built on tobacco growers so you know if you're gonna start changing if you're not gonna change one thing because it's comes from way back then you can't change this I know there are farmers out there who make a living tobacco is one of the crops that got this country going so no I don't think they'll ever make it illegal yeah no they shouldn't make it illegal NORs backing me up on that what made it what motivated you to quit well I guess you know I guess I was just I read this thing about pal it was like a phallic symbol and that my doctor went in I said he said you probably have an oral fixation which do you know what that means let's not get ourselves that's why I always smoke like cigarettes instead of cigars because if I'm going to add a I like a little white bandit [Applause] I got away Ohio Middletown the center of the universe to take a nice clean call and then I spaced out I'm thinking I can't listen to norm for a second I gotta get a time queue here I come back and you're talking about of it a thin white cock in my cock in my mouth no no you misunderstand I'm saying is this make the mistake of thinking I fucking listen to you I just want to make it clear about that cock thing I was just saying if I ever was gay if they like selling at a mandatory time then I would choose the smallest cock and I do like a guy that came [Applause] I thought Jack was Cox Cox is next week I'm sorry does that answer your question yes it does wonder car [Applause]

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Channel: billross22

Views: 777,835

Rating: 4.8948298 out of 5

Keywords: VTS, 11, 1

Id: zBmIoUO7_Gc

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 8min 38sec (518 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 22 2010

Reddit Comments

This is one of the most retarded and probably best things ever recorded

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Sep 08 2017 🗫︎ replies

All of his appearances on Dennis' show are epic.

"Does that answers your question?"

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/Matika7 📅︎︎ Sep 24 2017 🗫︎ replies