NEVER Do This In The Bedroom! Turn-Offs Everyone Should Know

what has a partner done during sex that totally ruined it for you some years ago my wife in the middle of it all out of nowhere asked if I had moved the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer she told me it was her recently deceased father's bed back in college we used to have a playlist that we listened to during sex one time he added songs in accidentally and we ended up listening to a techno version of the world one music two soup the Mario Brothers and laughing too much to continue electronica versions of the songs from Mega Man came on after killing the mood even more all in all it was still a fun day and were married now so it didn't kill sex forever tried anal with no Lube or anything he called me mom we don't have kids started talking about random subjects that had nothing to do with sex yes I know we should fix that lawnmower soon I don't care love me god damn it during a [ __ ] one time I had my right arm underneath this girl's ass feeling her up and she blasted me with this humongous fart that was so damn thunderous I instantly lost any ounce of hard I had not my partner but one time we were going at it and the neighbor's kid came out on the porch to play hot cross buns badly on his recorder never has it been so hard to come we had to call it I bled on his face while he was eating me out to be fair it was after I miscarried in my period was super erratic but god I never wanted to let him down there again he's been back though boy he's a trouper xgf would talk dirty during sex which is fine but her dirty talk would get really detailed in outlandish and she'd ramble on and on one time during one of her speaking in tongues episode she imagined we were in a fancy restaurant and I was eating her out under the table and she was describing how the food was tasting the appetizers the main course the dessert the wine in great agonizing detail another after watching a World Cup game she told a story of me ravishing her centreline after scoring the game-winning goal she described in painstaking detail the goal I'm talking a couple of minutes while we were having sex before she'd talk about any sexy stuff at all in all honesty I'd be internally laughing far more than I'd ever be turned on I was railing this metal chick about 25 years ago and hallowed be thy name came on and she started head banging and singing along great song that the interactive karaoke session wasn't needed bent my dick in half and man did it hurt she was curious as to what it felt like for me when I told him that he wasn't inside me when he was fingering me he decided to cross examine my vagina like a gynecologist talk about awkward talked about an ex and the sexiest thing the ex did said that was the most turned on he had ever been in his life passed out one moment she is moaning and squirming and the next moment she passed out I obviously stopped and tried to wake her after she woke up she told me I should have finished she can faint when she gets too excited I just couldn't despite her insistence that it is normal for her and okay my brain tells me it is not right to keep going on an unconscious person not my partner but a one-night stand I was in the middle of giving my tongue a clipped workout when she let out a ripping fart this didn't ruin it for me at all in fact I thought it was quite funny and peculiar I was eating her out while she was in all fours she had an orgasm and accidentally farted right in front of my face she was extremely embarrassed but I laughed for about 10 minutes non-stop taken the condom off when I explicitly told him I wanted to use protection he was a piece of was hooking up with my ex which wasn't an out of the ordinary thing at the time when I'm balls deep in her and she mentions getting in the parking lot where she works by her new guy mere hours prior I kept going I have no self-respect neither does she broke up with me getting your face farted at while eating ass is one thing having some chunky bits come along that kinda killed it for me called me daddy not the out of there wanted to use knives while we had sex wanted to give me a [ __ ] while I took a so she could smell it I'm out teeth on my dick don't use your teeth on my dick Tammy one time my ex starting throwing up while I was blowing him he had bad chick-fil-a before coming over made me laugh needed five minutes to reestablish yeah you like that you [ __ ] getting annoyed and rude when I couldn't instantly get it up guys need foreplay to my gf has done some stuff that makes me feel she doesn't enjoy it as much as I do like wanting me to skip foreplay just to get to sleep earlier riding my cucumber furiously after she orgasm just to make me faster and getting mad at me for not coming her attitude actually killed it I felt like a sex toy that needed to be turned off once she bit my lips so hard my mouth started to taste like blood after I tried to kiss her during sex I can't remember any other right now but I'm sure there is more will edit if I remember anything else find a new girl man wasn't my partner but friends with benefits she liked anal and when she was riding me dick in cheeks on me this was actually just before sex but first time meeting this girl was at her place for over an hour she was talking how she wanted her wedding to be literally showing me images of wedding gowns shoes etc etc basically the whole spiel I was trying to figure out a way to get out of there anyways later was sitting on her couch she went to use the restroom she said when she returned she was butt-naked and straddled me on the couch kissing me my mind was racing with WTF but quickly overcome with what was going on and went with it we moved to her room and we continued foreplay I was going down on her when I came to my senses thinking that this chick is bonkers and WTF was I doing I I had to go I put my clothes on so quickly and got the out of there never again did we speak never regretted this decision we were pretty drunk and she was blowing me and told me that she wanted it all she started beep throating soon someone was covered with something thick and sticky me with her puke to her credit she gave me a nice [ __ ] after we cleaned up I asked her for a [ __ ] since the [ __ ] was not doing it for me so she proceeds to lightly blow on the tip I thought it was an inspired beginning but she just literally blew on my member for the next couple of minutes I stopped her and asked what she was doing she said that it was a [ __ ] so she was blowing on my little guy it wasn't that crazy since there are boob jobs and hand jobs admittedly she was equally skilled at all of the above so there was no real best option available I decided I would instruct her on how to give me a proper [ __ ] after some direction she finally put her mouth around it and I thought everything was going well she bobbed her head down and up and proceeded to lacerate my Johnson with her teeth in multiple locations I assumed that she would know to keep teeth away from sensitive areas but I was sorely mistaken I actually had to go to the ER that night because of the damage but I will save that for a different post we were having sex literally in the middle of and he whispers in my ear we got to wash the car went back her place for a drink we had a drink and she excused herself she came back dressed to the nines black bra panties thigh highs and heels she climbed on top of me and worked her way down to giving me a [ __ ] about two minutes into a pretty amazing act she looked up at me and projectile-vomited hitting my face all the way down to my crouch she basically told me to leave after that nothing like you bring home wearing and smelling like vomit one time this girl wouldn't shut the up about her air conditioner it was loud and would make clunking noises at times whenever it would make a noise she'd mention it's okay it's just my air conditioner and for some reason it just turned me off all one time this girl was giving me head and kept humming it was the worst blow job I've ever had I actually asked her to stop and she said she had to or she would gag it was just awkward I was never going to come and she wouldn't quit one time this girl wouldn't shut the up about her air conditioner it was loud and would make clunking noises at times whenever it would make a noise she'd mention it's okay it's just my air conditioner and for some reason it just turned me off yeah her husband was definitely recording you guys from inside the closet sneezed while eating me out my ex just laid there and looked at me like she was a dead fish and tried to hold in her moans it was awkward and weird like we are having sex this is the last place you should be prim and proper for take on the factor of fun I don't know she has orgasmed every time we did it she liked having sex but like I said she just laid there like a dead fish was titty her she looked down and said whoo it's just like a gif it was hard to keep from laughing or take anything seriously after that I found out on more than one occasion that being called daddy in bed is an almost instant turnoff sir is fine I like sir sir should be more of a thing than daddy used to have pretty rough sex with my ex I didn't mind his kinky antics at all like ever besides this one time he choked me so hard that I literally lost consciousness he panicked and called 9-1-1 so i woke up to a medic in my face while I was naked in bed I was going at it with my wife in her late pregnancy and her water broke during sex it was a panic moment but today we laugh about it reached over my head to grab a box on his headboard and showed me the contents a hypodermic needle in a tiny glass vial on a leather cord then he said he wanted to take my blood and wear it around his neck dropped his face sweat on me during missionary it was just a tinder hook-up and the sex was all right not bad but not loving it I noticed he was getting really sweaty which was understandable but then his forehead sweat dripped onto my face instant mood killer I can't talk that much during sex I'll moan and get words out but sentences are tough it distracts me and makes it hard to concentrate on the sensations I get to in my head if I have to actually form a whole thoughts I've had a couple guys who seemed completely unable to stop asking me questions trying to get me to talk dirty how do you want me to put you baby what are you thinking about what do you think of my does it feel good what feels good tell me baby shut the up this isn't 20 questions shut up and put me already I this guy and he just kept moaning oh my god you're so tight over and over and over and over he gave a good [ __ ] but I wanted to shove a sock in his mouth [ __ ] are tight brew common misconception during oral stretched open apart my lips so hard wide it felt like I was going to tear I was the sex ruiner here I was a freshman in high school so like 15 there was this older guy from my school where I was new and new nobody who took interest in me we had only talked online and then one night he come over we were making out which turned into him fingering me after a few minutes he pulls his fingers out long enough to notice the covered in blood he asks if I'm on my period I tell him I swear I'm not he asks if he hurt me I tell him though I am fine but that just was a boner-killer apparently because he left after washing his fingers off more like tried to the blood stained his fingers and he seemed pretty annoyed by it turns out neither of us knew what a hymen was I think he just thought I was lying about being on my period had a playlist of sexy music that abruptly cut to the damn Andy Griffith whistling theme what the hell I talk too much I know I get annoying it's just I get paranoid and constantly asked for consent and such like to the point she just tells me to shut up went to a party and met this really hot chick we go back to her place and I asked her what she did for living she told me that she worked for a film distribution company this was back during videotape days we get naked and were fooling around in bed when she grabs her remotes and turns on the TV in VCR dog porn asked me if I wanted to meet her German Shepherd who was in the backyard she hops up and let the dog in she immediately went down on all fours dog jumps on her and she tells me I'm next I suddenly remember that I had to get up early and left I dated a girl for a few months who used to scream wildly over the top like a bad porn star loud as hell me-me-me oh god oh god yes yes yes etc I did not enjoy it I was just kinda like you're not fooling anyone I know I'm not that good I dunno if she had learned about sex from porn but it was a huge turnoff my ex loved licking my eyeball the first time she did it I jerked back so hard I almost broke my dick when she did it again I told her to stop and she literally couldn't understand why someone wouldn't want their eyeball licked broke up with her soon after she was also super mentally unstable with a heavy drinking problem hit my cervix and kept going even after I screamed in agony kicked his ass off the bed grind the knob of my dick on her recently grown in pubic stubble yeah you like that you [ __ ] was in the middle of some safe sex she said after this you're going to eat me out I just stopped the idea was good done it many times before and after I just cannot do the taste of spermicide and latex makes me leave one time she called me Dad not daddy dad I kept saying no to anal but he kept trying to ease me into it I let him go a little further in one of the 30 attempts and that was justification that I would enjoy it because he got far it's a real dick dropper to constantly have to stop and say no we were getting hot in heavy in my dorm room she was looking out one of the dorm windows it was the third floor anyways it was really hot that day and I came up behind her and teased her we are about to start getting undressed when I picked her up it surprised her and made things even better until I went to lay her on my damn bed and ended up throwing her too close to the wall and she hit her head off the wall it killed the mood and we laughed about the whole thing we still had sex but it wasn't nearly as great as it probably would have been her and I are friends and we still laugh about it sometimes

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Keywords: turn off, don't do this in the bedroom, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, /r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, funniest posts, top post, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny reddit posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, best askreddit, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, reddit cringe, karma, comment awards, meme awards, dankify, updoot, updoot reddit, toadfilms, chill, memes, reddit master

Id: ds8cH4kvk08

Length: 16min 4sec (964 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 10 2019