Classic Narcissism Vs Emotional Immaturity | Signs of emotional immaturity

hey guys welcome back to my channel in today's video we're going to be talking about the differences between narcissism and someone who's emotionally immature stay tuned [Music] but before i get started on today's content a big shout out to my subscribers that requested this video guys i really do love video requests if there's a video you want to see please leave a comment below i want to make content that you guys want to see and want to benefit from if you don't feel comfortable leaving a comment feel free to send me a message also make sure you subscribe to my channel it really does help support me it's a lot of work to make these videos and release two of them a week so i really do appreciate that support so make sure you hit the subscribe button if you haven't yet and give this video a thumbs up if you like it too that really helps as well so talking about the differences between someone as a narcissist and someone who is emotionally immature these things actually do have a unique relationship in a way that all narcissists are emotionally immature but not everyone that is emotionally immature is a narcissist in fact narcissism may be the lowest form of emotional immaturity this is often due to the fact that they struggle with empathy they lack empathy they have very very little of it and they also really struggle to take the perspective of other people people that are emotionally immature tend to have lower emotional intelligence than someone that is not emotionally immature emotionally mature people tend to have higher emotional intelligence but really what separates someone who's a narcissist from someone who's just emotionally immature is really that grandiosity piece narcissists they're very entitled they're very grandiose that idea that i am the end-all be-all best of everything you will never ever be able to live up to my standard and if you weren't on my level you might as well be the dirt on the bottom of my shoe because that's exactly how i'm going to make you feel and i went into all of the traits that make someone a narcissist in another youtube video and i will link that below if you want more details on what that looks like but really understand that a big differentiation between a narcissist and someone who's emotionally immature is that grandiosity piece emotionally immature people and narcissists both do struggle in things like interpersonal relationships and being able to relate to other people when emotionally immature people they don't need to be grandiose and due to the fact that they're not grandiose they don't require something like narcissists required with narcissistic supply so they're usually not as manipulative as narcissists are and if they are manipulative it's usually not intentional and really a lot of people that are emotionally mature at least people that i've known that are more emotionally immature they don't really tend to have the insight that they are these things the psychological manipulation tactics that do to control their victims or control their supply are usually done intentionally and emotionally mature people don't usually have sources of supply because they aren't grandiose however emotionally immature people do tend to engage in their own flavor of toxic and bad behaviors so i'm gonna go through what some of those behaviors are right now the first thing that we see in people that are emotionally immature is a lot of selfishness that ability to consider the wants and the needs and the feelings of other people tend to be quite diminished or absent in people that are emotionally immature these people like to put their needs in the forefront so a lot of the time they talk about themselves they don't really ask how things are going on in your life it's more about them and a lot less about you they live a lot of their life to get their own needs met and they don't really give as much caring to what your needs are as you can imagine that can make for a very toxic relationship because in healthy relationships you really do need that reciprocacy piece and emotionally mature people aren't very reciprocal with your needs your wants and your desires number two they are often avoidant of higher level feelings in fact they often struggle to even identify how they are feeling let alone identify and validate how you're feeling relationships these people they can feel very shallow there's just something that's kind of missing a lot of the time and what's missing usually is that emotional connection the ability to really express how they're feeling and acknowledge how you're feeling number three they really really struggle to commit to relationships emotionally mature people are very commitment phobic they do not like the idea of things tying them down responsibility and accountability are very difficult for people that are emotionally immature and if you do get into a relationship with someone who's emotionally immature any type of serious topics are usually avoided so anything about marriage or having children anything that would indicate some type of responsibility is usually not acknowledged they'll usually kind of divert the conversation bring up something else or insert some type of reason on why this can't happen right now sometimes they even struggle to plan dates because if they have to commit to a certain day of seeing you and something else comes up they have a hard time with that like being able to do things on a whim you know they like their freedom they like being able to come and go as they please and anything that kind of ties them down is very very difficult for them and this is due to the fact that when someone was emotionally mature they really kind of are reasoning on the level of kind of an adolescent so if you think back to when you were a teenager and you had all of these new freedoms and still didn't have to deal with a lot of responsibility because you weren't quite an adult that's kind of how an emotional immature person thinks number four is they get defensive if you call out their bad behavior and try to tell them about how it's affecting you they don't handle that very well they don't really try to understand how you're feeling about it they just kind of do one of two things they either lash out or they shut down i will say that narcissists they also get defensive this is definitely a strong trait in narcissism as well and it's almost always lash out someone who isn't narcissistic they might just more shut down they engage in a behavior we call stonewalling which is really they just don't really acknowledge this kind of fade they kind of fade away into the background which can also be very invalidating to you when you do try to approach them with a serious topic like hey your behavior is really kind of making me feel bad uh do you think it can be different yeah they don't know how to have conversations like that number five they don't own their mistakes in short they aren't accountable they tend to blame other people or outside sources when things go wrong instead of really taking any type of ownership over the things that go wrong for example if they bail on plans with you and sometimes that does happen with these types of people they can be quite flaky um they might say something like something came up and i couldn't get out of it couldn't say no if they're late they might say so and so needed this and that's why i'm late there's just never any accountability number five and i think that this is one of the hardest parts for people that try to have relationships with these types of people you feel very alone in the relationship people who date people that are emotionally immature tend to experience what is called an intimacy gap and this intimacy gap is more in the realm of emotional intimacy than physical intimacy people that are emotionally mature they might not struggle they might but a lot of times it's not so much physical intimacy in fact if you're going to date anyone that would be all about keeping it casual it's usually someone who's emotionally immature because like i said higher level commitments and feelings are usually pretty scary to them or they don't know how to do it um and that's why this emotional intimacy gap is lacking because that part usually isn't there or it's there very seldomly so with this piece missing a lot of people say that they don't feel a lot of support in their relationship don't feel very understood or heard and a lot of people report just feeling very disrespected lastly and i want to say this is probably one of the most important distinctions between someone who's a narcissist and someone who's emotionally immature and i say this to the end of the video for those of you that stuck around for the whole thing is this narcissists very rarely if ever change i'm gonna say that again because it's really important narcissists very rarely if ever change and this isn't just coming from the victims i've known people that have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder they are accepting of this diagnosis they understand they have the traits and they will even say things like i wish i could change i wish i could be different but i just can't this is just who i am because it's very hard to change someone's personality very hard i mean think about it close your eyes for a minute and think about an aspect of your personality and someone comes and they tells you change that how hard would that be quite hard like telling an inch over to become an extrovert it just doesn't happen narcissism is way more of a pathological problem because we are dealing with very extreme personality traits and the ability to learn and grow is completely stunted because of this pathology emotionally immature people they can change and grow emotional immaturity is usually a result of just not learning and understanding feelings usually from a young age like their parents maybe didn't validate their feelings they didn't teach them about feelings they didn't teach them it was okay to have feelings i will say and again i'm not trying to discriminate but usually when we talk about areas of emotional immaturity especially in relationships we are referring more to males so i think males do struggle more with being able to identify emotions and feel emotions just because our culture sometimes devalidates that from men and says that's not okay to do you can't have feelings or emotions this can be learned later in life it might not ever be perfect and it does take work but with some insight and perspective and maybe even a little bit therapy these people can change with that said and this is the caveat they have to want to change you're not going to be able to change them no they have to want to do it they have to be willing to put the work in they have to see the areas of their life where they're being impacted by this emotional immaturity nothing you say or do is going to be able to change another person that's out of our control the only thing that we can do is respond how we react and if you're with someone who's emotionally immature and they're not ready or they're not willing to change for you the best thing you can do unfortunately is to let them go because these can be really toxic relationships in their own right and they can be really hard that's going to conclude my video for today i hope it was helpful and insightful for those people that are wondering the difference between narcissism the emotional intelligence if you like this video again please give it a thumbs up if you haven't yet please subscribe to my channel i release two new mental health videos every single week would love it if you became part of this community and i will see you in the next video thanks and have a great day

Channel: Jenna Schaefer MS-LPC

Views: 60,005

Keywords: Narcissism Vs Emotional Immaturity, emotional immaturity, signs of emotional immaturity, emotional immaturity in relationships, emotional immaturity and narcissism, is my partner emotionally immature?, Traits of emotional immaturity, emotionally immature people, emotionally immature people relationships, emotionally immature or a narcissist, differences between a narcissist and someone who is emotionally immature, Emotional immaturity in men, emotionally immature relationships

Id: VCeSAvkelYM

Length: 11min 35sec (695 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 03 2021