10 Subtle Signs That Someone Is Emotionally Immature

so there's someone in your life that you have the feeling that they are emotionally immature but you're not entirely certain which is why you're here because you want confirmation well you are going to get it in this talk today we are going to talk about some subtle signs that someone is emotionally immature now you might have called that that person selfish or rigid or attention seeking or unaware or oblivious and yes all of those are signs that someone is emotionally immature but we're going to go through some other ones that again are more subtle so that you can get that Clarity and you can stop wondering or being confused about why they do certain things or act in certain ways a little C to this this talk today is not about labeling someone and pigeon ho holding them or blaming them or criticizing them or judging them because if someone is emotionally immature it is because they have not yet or maybe even never had the opportunity to learn anything different chances are they were raised by emotionally immature parents or they had some some things that have happened to them throughout their life that have caused some attachment injuries that they were never taught what to do with emotions or how to be aware of other people's emotions and so they just don't know and sometimes we don't know what we don't know but you regardless of how you were brought up or what you learned you are here for better you are here to learn how to become more emotionally mature emotionally regulated how to manage your mind and your emotion how to show up in life as the best Mo most authentic grounded you but not everybody else knows that they can do this or even believes in themsel enough to know that there is something that could be different so here we are doing the work for ourselves to understand other people differently so that we can change how we are reac acting or responding or thinking about them and not getting pulled in to whatever they have going on or when it comes to someone's emotional maturity not going on yeah so that's what we're going to talk about today it's going to become more clear and then I'm going to teach you what to do with it if you have someone or several someone's in your life who are emotionally mature and you're finding it hard but first if you're new new here Welcome to our incredible little corner on the internet take a second introduce yourself in the comment section below if you're back again always good to have you special shout out to my shifters really glad that you are here if you haven't already subscribed to the channel the buttons about right down there like the video if you get something out of it that would be amazing and either way my name is Julia Christina I'm a registered clinical therapist a researcher researcher a coach and a speaker and the creator of my membership Community the shift society that you can get more information about in the description below I help heart-c centered humans break through the crap that is holding them back so that they can like themselves and their lives more every day so you're wondering if they actually are emotionally immature or if there is something else going on and yes both things can be true usually if someone is emotionally immature they have something else going on so how do you know for sure these are 10 subtle signs that are backed by research that are clear indications that if someone has several of these then they are lacking the emotional maturity likely because I said they never learned how to build it the first sign is if you have someone in your life who overreacts to relatively minor things that is really clear that someone lacks the emotional intelligence or the emotional Reg regulation skills which are both clear signs of emotional immaturity as well so when someone just can't regulate themselves when they get really worked up about small things maybe they're being triggered maybe it's hitting something deeper within them but they don't have that awareness or that our emotional maturity to really recognize what's going on and then be able to handle themselves accordingly the next sign when they really don't like talking about feelings or or they make a lot of jokes about feelings or they get really uncomfortable whenever you're trying to have an honest or an authentic conversation maybe they shut down or maybe even and this has happened to me when I had a friend who I tried to have an open and honest conversation with I brought up the something that had hurt my feelings and I wanted to talk about it and work it out with her this happened about 10 years ago and after I told her how I was feeling and said that I wanted to talk about about it she said that something had just come up and she needed to go and that we would talk about it later ended the call I never heard from her again because it brought up something in her and she couldn't cope with it having an O open and honest real conversation with a friend was something that she could not handle and so instead of me being all upset and offended by this this person that just ghosted me I had to recognize that she couldn't cope with that and that was because of her lack of emotional maturity for whatever reason but that wasn't something that she had and so she couldn't do it so if you have someone in your life that they get very uncomfortable that they get very avoidant or that they make jokes or sarcastic or silly whenever you're trying to have an open or honest authentic conversation know that that's just because because there's anxiety coming up in them it's triggering something in them and they don't have the emotional regulation skills or the emotional maturity in order to know what to do with themselves when that happens the next sign is when you have someone in your life who is very irritated by individual differences or different points of view that they are very rigid in the way that they see things and they get really activated or irritated and maybe you know someone in your life who has really strong opinions isn't open to what any body else thinks isn't willing to consider that the way they think is just the way they think because of their own influences and exposure and socialization and family whatever that is that their brain has been molded in a certain way and can't really see that other people's brains have been molded by different experiences and exposures and learnings and societies that is different than them that is a really clear sign that there's a lot of emotional immaturity when someone is unwilling to consider that different humans come with different thoughts different experiences different perspectives and they they buckle down they hammer down they lock in on their thoughts and perspectives and are unwilling to consider anyone else's another sign is when that person does things or says says things with blatant disregard for how it might impact someone else now I'm not talking about those times where someone might say something that was accidentally offensive or insensitive and you know you're like uh they probably just don't know or I wonder if they really meant it like that or you know maybe they I misunderstood or they didn't know that that's going was going to be something that hurt my feelings when there is a little bit more of that like room for movement but when you know that that person just completely oblivious to how their words or actions are affecting anyone else and this is a recurrent pattern and everyone maybe around you or you yourself or just like what what how do they not know what is going on here that is really not cool or okay or just weird what is going on if you have someone in your life where you often find yourself scratching your head in confusion of how they could be so oblivious then yes that is a lack of emotional maturity on their part because they just haven't developed their empathy or awareness muscle to be able to see that they can have an impact on others or that what they are doing is having an impact on someone else because they're so focused on themselves which ties in perfectly to the next one emotionally immature people tend to be very focused on themselves this can be obvious in the way that they are always dominating a conversation or always puffing themselves up to make themselves look good or always bragging about themselves and putting themselves above other people that's usually obvious but it can show up also in more subtle ways so if someone is always complaining always talking about how hard things are for themselves talking about how unfair things are how everyone is treating them so badly all the time and just always focused on themselves and their own emotional state and their own problems and what they have going on that shows a lack of emotional maturity first of all because they are focusing everything on themselves in these really like negative self-defeating self-destructive ways but also they are pulling all of the attention onto themselves which shows again that lack of awareness of other people that first of all other people might have things that they want to talk about or share or might need the other person to be there for them sometimes as well but also that disregard that other people have problems and issues and struggles as well no one in this life rides for free I saw this really great fitting meme post quote thing on Instagram recently that said do you know who's struggling right now literally everyone so just be kind and I thought how true is that yes some people are struggling more than others going through different things at different periods in life but we all have our stuff and so this doesn't mean that we can't share our problems we can't be honest and authentic and ask for support when we need it but also being willing to give that support allowing our relationships to be a give and take and again not making everything about us and for higher or lower when someone is making everything about them that is a sign that there is a lack of emotional maturity there the next sign is when you respectfully bring up an issue that person gets either really angry or sarcastic so similar to not being really able to deal with anything again they can't really cope with you bringing up anything or even you know addressing a behavior that they did that may have been hurtful or that may have been upsetting for you or that you might have may have found disrespectful or insensitive that they will either get angry and put it back on you or blame you or lash out at you or get sarcastic like oh I'm sorry that I'm such a terrible person or oh I didn't know that you were so sensitive right again there's that lack of awareness of self and a lack of awareness of how self can impact others and a lack of awareness of others and what they might be going through and being able to take responsibility which is another sign of that emotional immaturity is when someone can't take responsibility for their part now both sides of the coin are true if someone cannot take any responsibility and they always blame everyone else for everything all the time well I wouldn't have done this if they wouldn't have done that and let me tell you I'm working on that one with my 9-year-old son who is very good at avoiding responsibility and always saying well I wouldn't have done that if she hadn't have done this well the reason why I hit my sister was because she wouldn't give me this thing so it's not my fault she started it so really working on with him how to have dominion over his own body how to regulate his own emotions no matter what someone else has going on on and not be that blame deflector but you know people like that who everything is always somebody else's fault or the only reason why they did what they did is because that person did this first and not able to take any responsibility for their choices their thoughts their feelings their actions their part in an issue now the opposite of that is also true if someone always overly blames thems if they say things like I can't do anything right I'm such a faure I'm such a terrible person you would do better with me not being in your life I don't even know why you put up with me because I'm such a horrible person something like that again that is demonstrating clearly a lack of emotional maturity because it is not taking responsible responsibility it is making oneself the victim or the Martyr and not being able ble to maturely address their role in an issue without going into this self-deprecating self-shaming self annihilating monologue about their lack of Worth or importance or whatever that is so again it's not taking responsibility both sides of the spectrum demonstrate a lack of emotional maturity our next one is even in polite disagreements the person can get very defensive very defensive very quickly goes with those rigid opinions and those strict ideas where they are not really open to dialogue they are not really open to conversation they don't have generally speaking the emotional regulation skills or the selfawareness to take a step back and to be able to address an issue with again not going into that over blaming or the over self- shaming and just listen and hear someone out and then engage in working it out solving the problem coming to some kind of common understanding because for them probably feels very threatening when someone is defensive it is because they are feeling threatened something is being hit in them shame sore spot a trauma a pain a pattern something is being hit in them so no when someone is really defensive it's not because of you it's because of something that is going on inside of them and so being able to recognize that and not getting pulled into it another sign is that if they are a very black and white thinker my way or the highway this is right right this is wrong no capacity for new ideas no openness or willingness to consider different perspectives I am right you are wrong I am not at fault you were at fault if you hadn't done this I wouldn't have done this if you were more like this there wouldn't be any problem I am the good one you are the wrong one thinking about that if there's someone in your life who is very black and white unreceptive to new ideas inconsiderate of different perspectives or people or ideas that is a huge lack of emotional maturity not being able or willing to consider other people's perspectives to see the Nuance to understand that yes there are things that might be more black and white like murder is wrong child AB abuse is wrong human trafficking is wrong but in a lot of different areas things aren't always so clear but people who lack emotional maturity are very rigid in their ideas in their perspectives in their ways in their methods in their Madness and then our next subtle sign that someone is emotionally mature and this one is a really subtle one that you are probably not even going to be able to identify until I say it out loud and then you're going to be like oh my gosh yes this makes so much sense and that sign is when someone undermines or downplays your successes when you share something that you are happy about or proud of or are feeling good about that you accomplished or succeeded at or a goal that you met and they blow it over they downplay it they undermine it or they automatically jump into something that they did that was successful which then again undermines your success they kind of poo poo it or make excuses well the only reason why you did that was because of this or they just kind of blatantly ignore it knowing that your success to someone who is emotionally immature is going to feel threatening for them now fair enough we have all felt jealous we have all felt a little bit like insecure when someone has something that we want when they've gotten something reached a goal had a success uh overcome an obstacle gotten to a milestone gotten a promotion whatever that was we're like I really wanted that and they got it it can yeah Being Human means that we're going to have feelings that can come up around that but where our emotional maturity steps in is our ability to recognize that this is hitting something vulnerable in us that it's not because they are doing something wrong or that they are actually threatening their success is threatening Us in some way because there's enough for everyone but being able to recognize our own stuff that's coming up and being able to put that in its own container for us to process and then being able to step outside of that and being happy or successful uccessful or celebratory of that person so the emotional immaturity doesn't come from having some kind of emotional reaction to someone having something that we want or us being envious or jealous of someone getting something that we've been working for or towards or that's important to us but it's what we do with that and an emotionally immature person would not recognize their own process or vulnerability or fear or insecurity that's coming up around that they would simply react to it by downplaying undermining ignoring or maybe even criticizing that person for their success so how are we doing which one of these are you like oh I didn't realize that that was a sign of emotional immaturity is there someone in your life that ticks off a lot of these boxes and now you're like oh that makes so many things make so much more more sense we do this and we learn this to create that insight and that understanding so that we don't have to be reactive to it so that when these things come up we don't have to react and stoop to our own emotional immaturity as a way to react or respond to someone else's we bring that awareness we seen what's going on we're like they didn't have the tools they didn't have a teaching they didn't have the learning they didn't have the experience or their exposure that allowed them to develop that emotional maturity but I do because I am here and be I cannot control them but I can manage and regulate myself and be conscious and intentional with what I do with my emotions when they come up when I'm having having a reaction when I'm feeling defensive or rigid or stuck on something or even offensive something is being hit in me my work is to regulate that to build my emotional maturity with what's going on inside of me what they have going on is not about you what you have going on is up to you if you want a quick exercise that's going to help you not get so caught up in these reactions and into pulled into what somebody else has going on get my 10-minute guided mindfulness exercise that is a great short little emotional regulation exercise that's going to help you feel more common ground grounded no matter whoever or whatever is going on around you free guide 10-minute mindfulness exercise sorry free audio 10-minute guided mindfulness exercise in the description below get on the wait list for the shift Society where we take this work to the next level let me know what connected with you and until next time take good care of yourself take good care of those around you bye for now

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 52,495

Keywords: emotional intelligence, emotional immaturity, signs of immaturity, immature people, emotionally immature, relationship problems, emotional immaturity signs, emotional maturity, signs of emotional immaturity, how to spot emotional immaturity, emotionally immature people, emotionally immature parents, emotionally immature partner, julia kristina emotional immaturity, julia kristina, eq, become emotionally mature, emotions, emotionally

Id: AdouZlUwtnI

Length: 22min 55sec (1375 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 22 2024