My Parents Broke Off My Engagement & Forced Me Back Home Because They Don't Like My Boyfriend

what's your family drama right now my daughter has been dating this guy 27 years old male for roughly a year before getting engaged to him at first i liked the guy and could see that she was happy with him but the more time passed by the more isolated she became she had stopped talking to her friends as well two guys we have seen grow up she is away for college and her mother and i would often call her but we've noticed that she'd pick up the phone less and bless the time she would she'd often look tired sickly and sometimes she would look like she was on the verge of tears if not crying last summer we were all invited by his family for dinner and he basically threw a fit because an old acquaintance of hers had talked to her and she didn't notify him because apparently she has to notify him each time a man talks to her i decided to cut it short and drove us all home and advised her to break up with him but she didn't want to her mother said to let them deal with things on their own i let them be but recently she flew home running away from him because he had verbally mistreated her and had thrown a remote control at her during a fight thankfully didn't touch her because she refused to give him her phone to deep search as he'd accuse her of deleting things despite checking her phone regularly and requiring that she puts it off silent so he can hear it whenever someone contacts her i asked her why she was still with him and she said that she loved him and that she was hoping he'd change if she proved to him that she is worthy of trust because he would always tell her that she needs to gain his trust i decided to take the matter into my own hands and called his father to break their engagement off as i am not willing to wait until he hits her or worse i think he is a manipulative narcissist and i'm not willing to take any chances if he treats her this way when i'm alive what will he do to her when i die i'm not sure what i can do to help her as we live in completely different continents it's been a little over three weeks now and she's still heartbroken over it i'm afraid she might build resentment towards me because of this i raised all of my children myself because their mother was always out gallivanting around doing this and that i have four kids and one granddaughter i was so happy when all of my kids finally moved out because i finally got to live my own life after years of being nothing but a parent my daughter is the only one of my kids who has a child she is always asking me or her siblings to babysit on the weekends because she wants to go out and party it was fine at first and we were all more than willing to babysit but it's gotten to the point now where we are all tired and want to do our own things my daughter has started to hassle me in particular because i am the grandfather she says crap like well don't expect me or your granddaughter to take care of you when you were old and need help she has guilted me into babysitting many weekends by pulling this crap she asked me monday to watch my granddaughter this weekend again and i said no i told her that i wanted to lay around my house in peace and quiet so i can drink and do my own thing she pulled out the card when she said no one is going to take care of you when you are old crap on me again and i said well it's a good thing i have enough money to pay people to take care of me when i'm old and i won't need your charity which my in-laws live in a sleepy artsy-fartsy town where nothing ever happens they know all their neighbors half of the family lives nearby they're the kind of people who are comfortable with anyone coming in or dropping by unannounced just to say hi show someone something on their phone etc it's a very full house so that being said they don't lock their door we've piled into the car to go to the store or other places before and i've said do you have the key to be gently not meanly laughed at and had it explained that they don't need to lock the door i'm not comfortable with that but i didn't say anything i just moved my travel bag into my car when we went to get ready for bed i passed by the door and saw it hadn't been locked i asked if i should lock up for the night and the family chuckled again i felt extremely uncomfortable so for peace of mind i locked up in the am father-in-law got up and went to get his paper he found the door was locked and said my name did you lock the door i said yeah very casually he looked at me like i was crazy i said i'm just not comfortable with leaving doors unlocked both of them laughed and for the rest of the weekend the jokes continued things like who hurt you and what was so bad in your childhood that you can't deal with an unlocked door and what do you think was going to happen someone who's going to break in this isn't big city we live in we ended up leaving early because my husband was tired of telling them to knock it off a few days later my mother-in-law posted what was supposed to be a funny thing on facebook and tagged me saying my name and husband visited but daughter-in-law isn't cut out for that town life she couldn't handle a few unlocked doors and thinks the whole world is out to get her cue the family making fun of me my upbringing etc i'd finally had enough and posted back home invasions happen my best friend's dad was ended in their home by an intruder when i was very young forgive me for caring about my safety and infringing on whatever makes you feel superior here she deleted the post and told me i was out of line it wasn't my place to lock doors in someone's house that wasn't mine if i didn't feel safe with them maybe i shouldn't visit anymore i said sure husband and i won't visit anymore she backpedaled and made it clear she meant just me but i asked why would he drive all the way out there it's about five hours without me just to be with people who were mean and judgmental about his wife and locked door this turned into another big you're taking my baby away from me situation anyway in relaying the whole story to others i've had a surprising reaction am i the idiot for locking a door at night about six months ago i 26 years old have met my boyfriend 24 years old at work i wasn't really interested in dating or anything like that but he started pursuing me we started hanging out and within a week we both fell in love within the first month he asked me to marry him i thought that he was joking and didn't take that seriously my whole family knew about all of the details of our dating everyone seemed to be happy for me especially my mom she is 50 years old so i just make it clear we both worked for my mom in her little firm but we never had any kind of bad intentions or behaved inappropriately different departments so we didn't really see each other during the day anyways five months into the relationship he proposed to me and i said yes when it comes to his family our relationship my grandparents it's all good everyone is happy except for my mom suddenly my mom changed drastically she started getting angry at me she became grumpy have made a passive aggressive comment regards our engagement and said it was an ill joke like that it left us both really sad confused and devastated she gave no proper response at all neither happy or sad she lately has been passive-aggressive and started sulking at me without wanting to talk to me my boyfriend got an apartment for a future wedding as a present from his i swear not so rich family while my mom that literally can buy 10 apartments wasn't even bothered she looked at our apartment and said it's not as bad as i thought it would be as soon as we started doing some repairs there she cut my boyfriend's salary by 25 out of the blue still we didn't get too upset we kind of felt like okay minimal wage for my boyfriend as well but we will survive somehow about a month ago an old friend of my fiance came and told me my daughter might not be mine one year she told me sarah fiance fake name confessed to her shortly after finding out she was pregnant that it might not be mine because at the time she had been sleeping with one other guy now that we are going to get married soon she just couldn't keep this to herself and felt the need to tell me well i obviously didn't take the news well because everything she said contradicted the person i knew for five years faithful honest and loving however that doubt didn't go away and i ended up going through with a paternity test i'm not her father as you can imagine has broken my heart i'm still coming to terms to the news it explains why she suddenly got pregnant despite the protection i was using but i just assumed things happen and it is what it is termination was out of the question at this point i'm not sure where to go in life the wedding is two weeks away at this point family is coming everything is paid for my daughter who i love turns out isn't mine at all and i've been raising someone else's kid i'm about to marry a woman who i can't bring myself to look at anymore i'm at a loss i'm heartbroken i don't want to necessarily think with my emotions alone rather think this through as i make another of my large life choices i am currently waiting on the results of a second paternity test just to confirm the results of the first one before i make any kind of jump i was born when my parents were both 19 years old and my only other brother let's call him josh was born when they were 42. they divorced shortly after josh was introduced to the world he was four months old at the time and they both wanted nothing to do with the child at the time i was 23 years old and i was living alone with my then girlfriend who was 21 now my wife and i done my best to convince at least one of them to take care of young josh for his sake and the family's sake but they refused adamantly and said that i should be taking custody of him instead so i became legal guardian of my brother and he's been living with us for the past 12 years and things have been going really smooth for us josh now has been calling me dad and my wife mum and our two children his siblings and he has absolutely no idea about his real parents and to be honest i let all of that slide he has no idea that i'm really his blood brother and not his father and i'm starting to feel guilty and a little weird some of my uncles and aunts come to visit occasionally and they're really disgusted at the fact he calls me dad and they are surprised i haven't told him the truth they constantly messaged me talked to me in private and i cannot chat to them without this one particular topic rising up badgering me to let him know already but i refused i discussed this with my wife and she thought it would be wrong to tell him the truth because none of my parents wanted to take care of him and i'm the only person in the world who gave him the father figure everyone deserves i feel that he has the right to know what he is to me and what i truly am to him but he's suffered enough already and i just want things to continue how it is i went to my local therapist and told him about my situation and asked what to do to keep it short he said he's heard similar recounts from before and said it is best if i tell him as soon as possible for multiple reasons and to make sure that my bio children are present multiple reasons i asked a few of my closest friends and the majority said more or less the same thing my wife and i decided to sit the kids down and burst the big bubble i asked my brother josh to come closer and i made sure i held him close and made him feel love and made him feel comfortable he asked what's going on but i started by telling us how much we cared and loved for him then told him everything about my parents i put them in a bright light in hopes of a reunion and who i am to him then quickly hugged him and my other two kids together and told him that i love all my children the same and nothing is going to change my love for him he was shocked and asked if i was joking but i was starting to cry a little at this point so he knew i was serious my bio children were very surprised too he was in tears and asked me why i didn't tell him sooner i didn't know what to say and said i was just trying to protect you i'm sorry and i hope you can forgive me but unfortunately and understandably he laughed he didn't talk to me as much again understandably so i continuously offered him to go out to the park and play a bit of football he loves that and all of his favorite things but he just outright declined and even got a little angry sometimes from me even talking to him i thought i messed up big time until one day while my wife and two children were out doing shopping and we were alone he came up to me and said i know you're not my real father but i want to let you know you're the best dad in the whole world sorry for before i hugged him and things got pretty emotional it would be a big lie to say my house is normal now far from that but things are slowly ever so slowly starting to brighten up there's no longer anything to hide anymore and it feels like we are born again josh is a tough kid and he handled this far better than i believed he would i'll be looking into therapy for him to help him recover just in case it doesn't go well in the long run i'll strive and continue to be a great dad to my kids and a great dad to my brother son so my family keeps asking me for favors in advance while i'm on maternity leave for the next couple of months starting in the next couple of weeks for context i'm in the u.s so unpaid maternity leave for up to 12 weeks i'm lucky enough to get paid in full for one paycheck and partial payment for the next three then after that it's all just using up our savings which we don't have a ton of so i expect to only have eight weeks before i go back to work i'm also a first time mom my sister is getting married in september and i'm the maid of honor i've planned and hosted her bachelorette weekend while eight months pregnant and have been the bridesmaids liaison as far as organizing dresses and fittings and schedules all while trying to prepare for our firstborn's birthday my parents have agreed to come help out once the baby's here but my mom keeps suggesting that she's bringing my sister's wedding chores for me to help out with when i get out of the hospital i've told her on several occasions mostly offhand that i'll be pretty preoccupied with my newborn it's kind of been brushed off until today my mom called and once again said she's bringing up wedding craft stuff for me to help with once the baby's here i'm currently 39 weeks pregnant and have no cares to give anymore i told her straight up that i'm going to be too preoccupied with my baby she then says well when the baby's sleeping you can help seriously i said when the baby's sleeping i also plan on trying to sleep if the baby's sleeping and i'm not i'm going to be trying to catch up on house chores that i thought you were coming up to help me with i didn't realize you were coming up the week of my child's birth to hold him while i do stuff for my sister's wedding she then acted like i was being ridiculous and started the guilt trip i just told her bring stuff that needs to get done but i'm not making any promises that we'll get to any of it i told her i wish she would have given me some stuff to do now while the nursery is prepared and i'm literally just waiting for labor on my days off i would have gladly taken something to do as a distraction from all of the waiting still she tries to guilt trip and says both my grandparents are helping out it's just cutting out paper hearts so it's not like a big project i don't know my ex-husband and i were married for five years three years into the marriage i found out he was cheating on me through text messages he begged me to take him back and that he would never do it again i took him back more for the sake of our very young son he was two at the time we even did marriage counseling a year later i found out he was still cheating on me with the same girl i ended it i have custody the majority of the time my ex gets two weekends a month i hate him but i try to keep it civil for the sake of our son and try not to talk badly about him in front of our son it's been eight months since the divorce was finalized and he is getting married to his mistress apparently she is pregnant so they are rushing it last week he calls me up about the date of the wedding a date in october saying he wants our son to be there the date of the wedding is first a weekend i have custody second the day of his cousins my sister's son seventh birthday party my son is very close to his cousin and my sister has a fun party she is planning i told my ex there is no way my son is going to the wedding he said that i was being a bitter witch i tell him that if he really wanted his son to be there he would have scheduled the wedding on a weekend he had custody or actually checked with me before booking the date i'm not changing up my schedule to accommodate a wedding to his mistress he starts complaining about how that was the only date they could get in short notice and how he can't change the date because of the venue and how his fiance's parents have already booked their flights to come in and it's a small wedding and it would be weird for his son not to be there and i'm causing drama for no reason his mom who i've remained cordial with then calls me up and begs me to allow my son at the wedding i say no my family is on my side but my ex keeps having his family try and beg me to allow our son at the wedding [Music] you

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Id: PFy8QXtbqVk

Length: 17min 7sec (1027 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 25 2020